Good conversation: Where does your heritage lie? Neutral conversation: Where you from? Bad conversation: Where you from? No, where you ACTUALLY from?

I once was asked, "What is your breed?" And then followed by, "Are you an alien?" I was concerned and confused and amused. I am a Mexican and yes I am an immigrant.

As an Asian American, I actually grew up being taught my parents' tongue which was Mandarin Chinese and I actually thought that was normal until my late high school and early college years where I met many Chinese Americans who don't know Mandarin or Cantonese.

This conversation was actually really thoughtful. It's really interesting to hear their perspectives given their backgrounds.

The problem with the question "where are you from?" in America is that people so often just ask that and only that as the first question. It isn't a question that comes up naturally in conversation. They want to label you and there is also this underlying connotation that you aren't "American-enough" aka the perpetual foreigner stereotype. If someone has a proper conversation with you, and it comes up, it isn't a problem. But I've definitely experienced it as a one-off question and that is the only thing they want to/need to know. It doesn't add to the conversation or to them seeing me as more than just "Asian."

I understand Connor. My family is Welsh, I was born there but moved to England when I was young. My mum didn't want us to use Welsh in her house. My grandad tried teaching my sister and me, but my mum was totally against it. As we didn't need it as we lived in England. I literally can't talk to half of my family because they only speak Welsh and a little English. :(

When it comes to teaching languages to children, I say do it. They may want to learn it when they are adults, but it's so much easier as a child that even if they never use it as an adult, they won't blame you for teaching it to them, but they might for not teaching them.

I’m 100% Korean but grew up in America as first gen and I actually feel the same way garnt does. I’m actually pretty happy to say I’m Korean rather than being offended by it

I'm a white American, so this POV is outside looking in. I've never personally known someone to get offended about the "what's your ethnic heritage" question, but for those I've heard talk about it - it's the idea of constantly being otherized. The idea that if you're not white, your not an average American, and suddenly every person who thinks they're having a unique conversation is always asking the same questions about your background. Think of the "gaijin" who has lived in Japan for 10+ years but stills hears "nihongo jouzu" every day. In America there is enough of a mix of people that if something like this bothers you, there's enough people for you to voice your complaint on a larger scale. You don't *have* to accept people being ignorant. Cultural issues are important here. I'd like to believe the average person is willing to work with you as long as you are open to listening, while the media platforms are the most aggravated party in either direction. Personally If you ask my heritage and Id love to chat, but nobody has ever asked me "where are you from?". They know I'm "from America" because I'm white with no accent, so my family lineage literally never comes up.

First generation getting a more "American" sounding first name is common. I've met Asian Americans with names like "Jeffrey Lee" or "Michael Chang" also Hispanics with first names like Keith

I think they hit the mail on the head. It’s the dancing around the question that, as a Filipino-American that bothers me. I was waking out of a store and someone who was clearly trying to sell me something asked me where I was from. I live in the city so I said, “I’m a local in Pomona (California). Born and raised.” Then he said, “Sorry, I meant, where is your family from?” So I don’t him, “my family moved out here from LA.” Then he said, “No, I mean, where is your family *FROM*?” I realized what he was getting at. When I told him we’re from the Philippines, he told me how cool it was and how much work they’ve done in the Philippines and started naming off cities. All the while I’m holding a printer so I just told him to get to the point because I’m standing there holding a printer. I get in sales they say to do it to build a connection with the person, but it really annoyed me that he wouldn’t accept that I am American and really have no connection to the Philippines.

Imagine going up to a weeb and asking what their bloodline is

Love hearing the boys discussing topics like these, so interesting considering they all have different backgrounds/experiences

I'm an Australian-Filipino , there are a lot of Asian Australians that do not know how to speak their parents language fluently its pretty rare to meet an asian australian who can speak both english and their mother tongue fluently together, Joey is a rare breed of Asian-Australian haha he has the best of both worlds. It really depends on the Parents choice, your country of origin definitely influences our parents choice to educate us on our heritage. I can barely communicate with the few phrases and greetings Ive learnt from copying my old folks but we are pretty much just like the UK and US, when it comes to children learning their parents heritage.

I think it's a bit different in America because so many Asian people there are like 3rd/4th+ generation immigrants (their grandparents often coming from not so pleasant circumstances in their home countries). So when someone asks you "Where are you from?" And you've lived in, like, Texas for your entire life, both of you're parents have lived there their entire lives and even THEIR parents have lived there for a good majority of their lives, it kind of sucks to STILL be treated as an outsider. Because you know it has nothing to do with how long you've been there or what you're culture practices are (as you probably share more with Texans than anyone else), it's about how you look. Even black Americans are treated as outsiders despite their families being there longer than most white people in the US.

Although I speak other languages and my kids are probably not going to be born and raised in my home country,I still want them to speak and know my native language. It will not only make them understand their culture and heritage better,but also understand me better as a person,who speaks this language and thinks in the different way because of it. Also I think speaking a certain language within a family,that is different from other environments,makes the family feel united? And after all,if the kid is raised as a multilangual speaker,it will help them a lot in the future,so there's mostly pros to that.

I'm Korean American, first gen, and never really learned Korean growing up. As a kid, when people asked me "where are you from?" I'd get confused because as someone without a foreign accent, I just thought they meant my actual address/city/state I'd grow up around until they went "NO where are your PARENTS from?". So in that respect, people asking me where I'm from was kind of offensive.

My dad told me that the reason why his parents didn't teach him and his siblings a different language was because they came to America during a time that when you didn't want to stand out with all the segregation going on. My grandparents wanted to be as American as possible. The downfall of not knowing another language is not being able to communicate with the older people in my family who still live in Italy lol.

I use French a lot, and get to use it a lot, even being raised in west Canada. I'm really glad I got to learn it, and would definitely still be proud to have my parents teach it to me even if all other french speakers keeled over and died. Teach your kids your language!

I feel like it's more about the way people ask. Some ppl don't know what is being asked so it gets weird. When I'm asked I always say I'm from El Salvador, even though I am American. I'm first generation, I was brought up learning my culture because it's all my parents knew. Also my dad didn't want us to forget our native language so he was pretty strict about it. I think it's different for everyone. I get not feeling like either Nationality though.

I Live in a town called Dalby and there is a large community of Filipino’s and they are very proud of their culture and it’s awesome to see how proud they are of their culture

I'm Dutch, but I'm also Frisian. We have a language as well, but you can just get by with Dutch. I can understand it, but I can't switch to Frisian just like that. My accent is also way thicker than my sister's (though oddly enough she lives more rural than me). And my accent heavily changes depending on who I'm with. When I'm among people I know don't understand Frisian at all, I speak perfect ABN (which is the Dutch version of RP English). But when I'm with people I know can understand it, my accent becomes thicker and I throw in some Frisian words on occasion. And at home I not only mix in Frisian, but also my city's dialect. And when I watch a lot of Irish youtubers and shows, my english accent becomes way more Irish (I can do a pretty good Irish accent nowadays actually because of it). Same when I watched a lot of Craig Ferguson, my accent became way more Scottish. Hell, I've got family in Canada who visited a few weeks ago and this man (my grandma's brother) has lived there since he was 20 or something and in the short time he got here he started speaking more Frisian as well even though in Canada he probably never utters a word of Frisian. Or even Dutch. Also, in terms of what connor said about that comment that pissed him off. There was this dude on national television a few days back singing in Frisian. Thing is the dude was super black. But like, in my eyes, that dude's still Frisian. Might not have the bloodline, but he's Frisian. He literally decided to sing in Frisian as a black dude as a statement about acceptance (I think he was also gay, so double acceptance).

I am Danish (complex "heritage"), my girlfriend is Thai-Danish with immigrant mother and Danish father. My girlfriend doesn't speak Thai, sadly this makes it very hard for her to talk to her mother who only speaks Thai and English (her father speaks Danish, Thai and English). It wasn't a choice though, it was due to her mom suffering brain damage from a stroke and basically being unable to teach her as a kid.

In America, there is this sentiment that we are all Americans, especially with recent immigrants. Our heritage doesn't matter because we are all here right now. So when someone asks "Where are you from" they are insinuating that they don't think that person belongs in this country or at least a particular region. It's not often said out of malice, as it is usually said out of genuine curiosity, but that unconscious layer of xenophobia is just beneath the surface and can be offensive regardless.

While I'm Whitey McWhite from Whiteville, I am married to an Asian-American and have a lot of non-white & mixed friends. The implication of the question "Where are you *Really* from" is that you're not white, hense you are not a *real* American. You will always be an *other*. Which is a stupid, in a nation of immigrants, unless your name means "Runs with Buffalo" in Sioux. This is why a lot of minorities get defensive being asked "where they are from", because many of them are born in America or immigrated with their families at a very young age, so it's all they've ever known.

This conversation is pretty important to me as someone who is mixed race between wales and Ghana. No matter where I go people will view me as an outsider as I haven’t grown up in Ghana therefore I’m not Ghanaian but I’m too black looking to be welsh.

My mom was born in Mexico and immigrated to the US. I’m proud of my heritage and am very proud that I’m able to speak both my national language of English and ethnic language of Spanish. I have a lot of other Latin and Asian friends and they love celebrating their own cultures. Maybe it’s more of a California thing though with the high amount of Hispanic and Latin American people.

I think straight up question for genuine people to ask is "So what is your ethnical backgrounds?" Or some other variations of it. If you 100% dead ass ask the relevant question then the chance of people offended are lowered.

My aunt has lived in Australia for 30 years and has an Australian accent. As soon as she get back to the states it turns into a mix of southern and Australian.

I think the offense comes from “no, where are you really from though?”

I feel the same way with Garnt. I am Filipino but was born & raised in Hong Kong. I regard Hong Kong & Philippines 50% 50% as my home. However, I'm proud that my parents taught to us in Cebuano (Filipino dialect) & English @ home. While Tagalog & Cantonese, I learnt by hanging out with friends, watching TV & school. Although, I'm not super fluent in Cebuano & Tagolog like my parents but at least, I can still hold a conversation to my relatives & friends.❤ If I were to have children, I will teach them Cebuano, so they can communicate with their relatives.❤

In America, when the question "Where are you from?" is being asked, its mostly asked in a derogatory/sarcastic way, unfortunately. Yes, context matters but explains why most Asian Americans get offended.

So my grandparents are Mexican, my mom doesn't know Spanish, I never learned Spanish, and so now I'm effectively white, it's fucking weird.

Bro as a mixed person hearing Joey talk literally made me wanna scream lmao. I’ve never related so hard in my life.

I think it's very hard when you don't have parents that both speak both languages. I only learned Czech through my grandma that was always around when I was a kid as there was no point in my mom teaching me czech when we can just speak german. Now I can understand any spoken czech but my reading and writing skills are like at 2nd grade level.

Try telling an Irish person you’re Irish when you were born in America and see the response you get

It may depend on the ethnic group, too. My parents weren't opposed to it but it wasn't something they actively sought to teach me. And because it wasn't actively engaged, I guess I forgot a lot of what I had learned in favor of English. I just hung out with English speakers more. Edit: I have relatives who live in areas made up predominantly of specific ethnic groups where it's much more common for parents to teach both languages. So I guess it also depends on where you live and the density of that ethnicity.

I'm Chinese-American, and over the years I've gotten less offended by the question. When I was a kid, because I was Chinese other kids would treat me like a zoo animal rather than a human being. They loved insisting I was North Korean, and I should go back to where I came from. I was super jaded as I grew up until I decided to not take it so seriously and to avoid the willfully ignorant.

Im mexican- american, but i look asian. So when im applying at jobs, they always ask what languages do i speak and where im from, i tell them i speak English and Spanish, i was born in the US, but my parents are from Mexico. A lot of the time people are surprised to find out that i speak Spanish, which i honestly dont mind

Like y'all said it depends on location, where I live in the US everyone is proud of where their heritage comes from and have plenty of people that speak their parent's native language. We have a large Hispanic, Asian, and African population, so you hear Mandarin, Spanish, French, Amharic, etc. pretty regularly, and if you travel across the state, there is a huge middle eastern population with people from Iraq, Yemen, Palestine and their culture is all over the city, it's quite amazing seeing all types of culture in the same place.

Considering that Welsh people have been living in Wales since like, what, the 4th or 5th century?? To be part of a culture that is so deeply, historically, and culturally connected to one area- I just think that’s really cool and important. The language itself reflects an entire history of lives that all shared that one place in common.

I love getting this question as a Native American

For me, "Where are you from" and "Where is your family/heritage from (originally)" are two different questions with two different answers, and while I don't find either to be offensive, it's a bit unsettling when some people disguise the latter as the former.

As a child of Mexican immigrants usually when someone else from Mexico is asking “where are you from” they don’t mean me they want to know what Mexican state my parents are from

15:10 i agree with connor As a white American i view the whole "wheres your family from/what are you?" Is kinda useless because my ancestors may be from Ireland russia and Italy, i can't identify with these things because I'm not from there nor speak the languages nor do i know the cultures. But i get why people want to identify with these things because it makes you feel more storied and especially with America, we may have achieved alot but we still don't have alot of deep history or cultural folklore. Even if i rambling and off topic, i like getting this off my chest Also love the topic of the importance of language.

Minorities are often told they aren’t good enough to either culture in a demeaning way. The Farewell, a beautiful Chinese American story was told by American companies the story was too Chinese to sell to Americans and she should go to Chinese companies to sell it. Chinese companies told her she was too American to sell to Chinese people. An active rejection from both sides causes a lot of confusion for minorities in American

15:18 I'm not from the UK so I don't know many Welsh people , but I have heard from the one person I know that they have their "culture". And he keeps referring to it as "the culture" or just being friends mostly with people of " the culture ". He made it sound like it was something from his small town, but hearing Connor almost mentioning he grew in "the culture" has me very intrigued now.

My dad's family has kept some aspects of our Swedish ancestry (my great-grandma came over when she was like 4), more than an average American family has. An interesting one is the extended family still does a Christmas get-together in the originally Swedish immigrant church my great-great-grandparents were members of. Huh, looks like that church is closing in a few weeks. However, it's Swedish practices of 120 years ago with 120 years of the cultural telephone game. Visiting modern Sweden would feel very different than the Swedish traditions we still have.

as a person who lives in america but was not born there this whole conversation hits close to home

this convo hit very deep for me cause im a mixed māori from new zealand, especially when connor brought up dying languages. for us, te reo māori or the māori language carries our way of thinking, the way our ancestors perceived the world. you'll notice if you learn any different language pretty much there might be gaps where you cant describe certain things youd be able to in english, or on the other hand there are words that describe things that english couldnt come close to. the construction of the language represents the māori mindset, so it brings us closer to our ancestors and allows us to have a different understanding of everything that's part of our culture. nowadays māori isnt really seen as a practical language you can use out in the world. i mean, you could, but that's not why most people learn it or teach it to their kids. it's a spiritual cultural thing.

My parents are immigrants to Canada and I didn't really feel out of place cuz 1) there's a Serbian community here and 2) half my classmates had parents who are immigrants or some were immigrants themselves. There are definitely classic Canadian childhood experiences I didn't have but I wasn't alone in that. I find that most tend to know their parent's mother tongue or at least understand it. When I go to Serbia they're always very welcoming even tho I wasn't raised there but a lot of us weren't, thx to the 90s (when Yugoslavia fell apart) there's a lot of kids like me cuz people were leaving as refugees (that's how my parents ended up in Canada). So while I have found myself feeling not Serbian enough and not Canadian enough at times I think it's less so than others might. My fluency in Serbian definitely impacted how Serbian I felt, I'd feel upset when I'd start to forget how to speak it and proud and happy when I improved. I never got worse at understanding tho, I guess it's easier to take language in than have to produce it so brain held onto comprehension. Whenever I run into someone who speaks Serbian (Croation, Bosnian, they're all similar enough that there's no communication issues) I light up immediately, I don't really do that when I meet a Canadian unless it's online cuz most people in online games seem to be Americans so it's rare when I do run into one. At least with the 2 cultures I'm stuck between they welcome you if you're part of it even if you're not fully it.

The U.S.A. has a huge thing for whats known as "The True American" but if you ask everyone what a true American is the answer is different depending on who you ask. To me a true American in regards to the States is someone that has a love for this country and its people. That means anyone going through the Nationalization process, anyone who has strong ties to our communities, anyone who loves the ideals and is working towards the betterment of the U.S.A is a True American. Unfortunately to a loud minority think True American means born and raised in the U.S. with no exceptions. The United States of America should be for everyone who wants to be a part of it. We're not quite there yet and we will stumble along the way but that is what I believe we are about.

I personally think that assimilation is one of the most important things that's required from immigration - the purpose of assimilation is so that the culture and values would match the place they are migrating to, and why the hell would you bring the values of a place you don't want to live in to a place you will live in? Also, it's made it so that the child would feel like they're the same as other children, as part of the group. If the culture and values that you possess doesn't match the country you live in, then there's a dissonance that WILL be there and cause conflict with the locals. The locals shouldn't need to adapt to you, but YOU should be able to adapt to them. I don't think it's tenable to have a completely "international" country as you will NEVER be able to get rid of racist group biases (group bias based on race/heritage as you can see with all the different ethnicity communities that have formed, there's a clear divide between "them" and "us"), conflict and all the infrastructural systems + job markets that are affected by people migrating to the country. You cannot claim that the US, Swden or the UK are perfect countries with no racially & culturally charged tensions - for a large part immigrants all join their own cultural space with no assimilation and many don't know the local language either. We as individuals aren't more important than the social cohesion of another group - we cannot demand the locals that that "you have to accept us or you're a bad person". If the locals don't like you or other foreigners then what one should do is assimilate (or get out), not demand others to "respect me and my culture" (as that's you childishly demanding others to act a certain way). If you want to avoid causing anger, resentment and other negative feelings than you will have to assimilate, you should be a nice & kind person, and you'll change minds over time without forcing your views onto others and following the local culture/values. Note: I have nothing against teaching your children your heritage/culture, but it should always be assimilation as a priority and adapting to the local values first. My child will be "half-Japanese" and I plan to instil Japanese values and culture as a base into him/her. Sure, I will also teach him about where I'm from, but the priority is clear, and if he doesn't learn English then it won't be the end of the world.

I am first generation cuban american and my kids will learn spanish as their first language thats for sure

i don't ask "where are you from" because to me that mean's a "place" i just ask "what's your ethnicity" but not straight up that i politely ask for permission like "if you don't mind me asking, I'm just curious to know" and if i felt like i over stepped my curiosity i apologize and just admit I'm an ignorant and thank you for educating me.

Thing about the “where are you from” is that sometimes, it really makes you feel like you don’t belong anywhere even though you’re trying your best. For me, I don’t speak the language of my bloodline well, and I don’t fit in at all. I don’t know the culture or traditions or even popular media. So when I visit, people call me the “American kid”. They will ask me about the US, and if I try to relate to them they’ll feel offended because they see me as an outsider. For instance, I don’t get to make fun of the local soccer team 😂 and I don’t get to discuss politics or local matters or history. I’ll just get hit with “oh you have no idea”. On the other hand, I don’t get foreigner benefits either. For instance, no one would hire me as an English teacher. Because I don’t look foreign, I’m not marketable as the “native speaker.” But then I return home, to the country I was born and raised in, and people assume I don’t know English. People here will ask me about my origin country, and treat me like…well, an immigrant. Nothing gets through to their heads that I. Don’t. Know much about my country of origin. If I answer them, I am identified as “the Asian friend” and start getting questions about it. “Oh do you guys celebrate Christmas?” “I heard the education there is brutal is that true?” I don’t know. But now, I am “you guys” on both sides of the map. The worst ones are not the curious classifiers though. The worst ones are the xenophobes. “Go back to your own country” is something me and those like me hear once in a while. We hear a lot of comments about “you and _your people.”_ Which, I know, is more an issue of xenophobia than anything. But it feels worse when you don’t even have a country to “go back” to.

America is my nationality, America is my hood. Garnt firing shots.

First generation Asian American with parents who were refugees here! The question "where are you from" is usually super annoying because it's usually asked and then immediately followed up by some stereotype/microaggression based on your heritage/ethnicity. It also doesn't help the situation when the people who usually ask "where are you from" are from white/anglo saxon Americans who tend to act like they're the only "naturalized" Americans, when the Irony is that they are also descended from immigrants but act like they're the only "true Americans". Asking about our heritage isn't inherently offensive! It just so happens that the people that usually ask that question automatically assume you're a foreigner/immigrant and tend to have bias' about it. I also don't speak my parents native tongue (Cantonese), my parents really wanted me to focus only speaking and knowing english so that I could be successful living in/going to school in the US. We also happened to be the only chinese family in our area, and my parents felt no need to teach me chinese when most of my extended family already spoke english as a second language, so they thought it wouldn't as useful trying to focus on two languages when I could just speak to my family in English, and really wouldn't use chinese much outside of my family. Also I live in Salt Lake where they had that alpha con. It was the biggest joke for about a week and then no one ever talked about it ever again lol

i used to wonder how languages die but then i gave it some thought and realized dont even know the language of my own heritage. Its just so easy for parents to not teach their kids a second language when the place they live is mainly just one language and when that first language is also their own first language

Completely agree with grant on this. I myself are first generation from immigrant parents so it does feel odd growing up in the uk with that heritage.

All I could think when garnt was speaking was “Same.” Never fully in one camp forever in between :) half Puerto Rican half Ecuadorian living in America btw

I am mixed (biracial cause I offended a non-mixed person with mixed) I had that identity crisis a lot as a kid. Especially when I got mistook as Puerto Rican and had to say I’m other. I was raised with my white mother with no connection to the black side of my family. I would go to other mixed race friends and was told I’m “white washed” because of my upbringing. I would go to my black siblings and get told the same thing. I was told I was both and didn’t have to choose, but felt pressure from my peers regardless of race. I some point I just kind of looked at myself and realized I’m me. I knew if I didn’t stop chasing a sense of belonging that I would never find it racially

6:03 insert tie Thai joke here*

im asian with a mixed background but because of my ancestors from my dad's side who were really influenced by the brits who colonized our state, we speak mostly english at home and we never spoke in our mother tongue. nobody ever taught us our language (kadazan) nor ever tried teaching. plus it's also sad that the country doesn't offer teaching the language as a second language to learn in school when the community is large

Everyone’s different , coming from a relatively obscure South East Asian race but also being born Asian American I’m really proud to represent my Asian heritage while also knowing I’m born and bred American.

"You're not a real X" is literally every European to Americans when they claim they're Scottish or Swedish or German or whatever. Like, no you're not. Your family has lived in America for like 200 years.

My sister was adopted from South Korea, when she came to the U.S. she knew zero english. It’s unfortunate that she no longer remembers her mother tongue but the orphanage she came from was pretty abusive so I get it.

I appreciate all of their POVs on this topic, Garnt as a 1st-gen, Joey being half and despite Connor's insistence that he cannot speak much, him being Welsh was really eye-opening. I often wondered if countries like Wales, Republic Ireland, Northern Ireland or Scotland have deal with some sort of identity crisis since they not only live near their colonisers, but use the language everyday while their native languages becomes endangered.

Considering that am latin American/Hispanic. I would have to switch back and forth between English and Spanish because of my family having different levels of Spanish fluency. I'm at least on a conversational level but even then, asking where I'm from is like the first question Latin Americans ask in English and in Spanish. My first logical answer is saying im.from my home state, USA. Then they ask where my parents are from and I'm like ohhhhhhh. That's what you mean. Idk it's interesting to say the least.

Can relate. I was born in Thailand and spent my childhood years there. My parents were both expats from the U.S. My bloodline is White and Hispanic. I always got the where are you from question?

idk where I'm at as a asian filipino American I live in a college town where the only Asian ethnic students are from abroad so I get grouped to them which makes it hard sometimes to socialize with others here

I've never taken "where are you from" in an offensive way, and I think a lot of people in the UK feel the same way, especially if you grew up in diverse areas with different minorities, you would naturally ask this question to people. But as I've noticed how some people react negatively to this question, I think asking about their ethnicity avoids a lot of confusion. And ethnicity sounds a lot more normal than bloodline.

I was born and raised in Scotland, then moved to England for two years when I was four and returned when I was six. In England, my accent started to become English, and when I moved back to Scotland, it started becoming more Scottish again. I've stayed in Scotland since. But my accent changed, and now I have a weird hybrid accent.

Yeah to be fair the experience you get in Wales growing up is completely different north to South for sure. Connor is what we would call a Northwelian Gogg and Welsh spoken will be slightly different to that spoken in the South. Goggs tend to speak more back of the throat whereas the South we sound more melodic. Massive variety in culture but the one thing we all agree on is that anyone playing against England must win 😂😂

Part of being American (or North American to an extent) is about fitting in with the local crowd. Growing up in the 90s as an Asian kid your language, food dress and demeanour was a target for mockery. For many, this often means either rejecting your culture entirely to fit in, or full bore diving into your culture as a means of connecting with people who will accept you how you look and act. Frankly it was a lot easier for females to fit in, because their stock didn't diminish in the dating scene as a result of their race.

The study at 17:50 that Connor mentioned indeed took place in Antarctica and when the study was over, all of the scientists had a subtle shift in their speech where they would speak slower and it was concluded that it was because the German scientist with the German accent indirectly influenced everyone

I can kinda speak my mothers tongue, but not really that well, my parents gave up because I never used the language except at home, but even then I didn’t know how to read it, or write it.

I love being asked what my background is because almost no one ever knows the Mapuche tribe when I mention it but if they know it, you can get super excited!

I’m Japanese American and had a strong Japanese accent as a kid so my teachers put me through speech therapy to remove my accent for a few years, so my siblings don’t speak Japanese as well as me because of that whole ordeal. I only speak it to my mom or when we visit Japan because there’s no Japanese people near me lol

I want to imput something to this, background I'm from Indonesian specifically Javanese, not an immigrant or anything born raised, and currently live in Indonesia. Indonesia has a lot of Chinese people, my experience alot of my Chinese-indoneisan friend (specifically those who was born and raised in java) doesn't speak Mandarin or speak very little mandarin, doesn't have a Chinese accent, but they have the typical Javanese accent or even speak Javanese. Mind you this is pulling from a small group of my friends from a specific place in Indonesia take this with a big grain of salt.

Asian American here it isn't a sensitive question. The person themselves are just sensitive.

super interesting topic because i am also "mixed" and grew up not really fitting in, but due to my parents lazyness and to some degree unwillingness i never learned my fathers mothertongue and just grew up speaking the language of the country i was born in. later when i was 20+ my dad was like "why dont you wanna learn it?" and i almost flipped a table on him, because by then i had ZERO interest in it anymore, since i already taught myself english and was by then able to speak two languages, and if i ever where to learn another one, it would be by my own choice.

I'm here as an honorary Uce after reading "Bloodline"

"Ethnic Heritage"

British Indian here who loves both cultures and appreciates both greatly as it's apart of my identity. Even though I'm 3rd gen I still look brown and people assume I know my mother tongue. I do not. I've always felt ashamed by that and secretly think my mum does too. Whenever I've tried I'm laughed at and i try to get my mum to teach me she goes too fast. I think she doesn't want to acknowledge how little I know. So I'm always called a coconut. TLDR I cried when Garnt talked about his link to Thai.

I'm an argentinian. 3 of my grandparents had European parents, and none of them were thaught their heritage's language. Their parents refused to do so, actually. I was also raised in Uruguay most of my life, which although similar to Argentina, never felt 100% home. If I had children in another country, I'd want my children to feel at home as much as possible there, and teaching them a language that's not spoken there wouldn't help.

As an Asian-American, it’s not the question of “Where are you from” that I get offended by. It’s the cultural insensitivity. I remember doing introductions in high school, and people would laugh at me when I say “I’m American”. Think of it this way. There were hundreds of Japanese-American soldiers who fought for America during WWII, but they were still persecuted at the end for being Japanese. Immigrants have a long history of discrimination and oppression in the US, so when we still witness this underlying sense of “You don’t belong here”, it’s so disrespectful on a much deeper level, especially when my parents worked their ass off to ensure that I am identified as an “Asian-American” and not “Chinese-American”

It is a charged question in America, some might mean "You don't look like us"

I never ever met someone who did not regret it not being able to learn a possible mother tongue. They usually felt like there’s a side of them they can’t connect to easily. It never hurts to know more than one language. Besides, not to teach it in order to make the child fit in more doesn’t make any sense. It just makes it worse because they still might feel left out but don’t have any other option to connect to. There’s simple one possible choice more taken by the parents.

18:06 help he’s sounds so british here lol

I find it so cool when people can track their lineage. I come from a long line of nomads, so I have no idea where my ancestors are from. I can only infer based on my race/looks, and also by the dialect passed down.

I always hated the question "where are you from?" since whenever I answered, no one was satisfied with the answer. It would always get followed with: No, you're not because _____ (random arbitrary reason they came up with on the whim). Bottom line is, everyone should be satisfied with the answer they're given. And in NO context is "where are you REALLY from?" and ok question to ask.

Bro I listen to these daily i haven’t missed an episode on the clips channel in months

Haritage can also be weird just to begin with. Take me for example I’m second gen American my closest linages are German and French on my dads side, Irish and Italian on my moms. If I then go back one more I add three more countries and more after that. I’m a hard core mut based on how we were able to track my family line (my dad side had a working family tree going back 7 gen while my mom could track up to 4 gen before her grandparents) we most have constantly been on the move on both sides for at least 400 years. To my knowledge my line has about half of Europe to our name. Plus off our genealogy test (my mom got addicted to it so she made everyone do it) some middle eastern jew (were not Jewish) Nordic (probably saxion) and Northern Africa (Egyptian most likely) plus my sisters husbands Spanish Yet you would not know this nor would I know how to explain any of this because I’m the whites dude I know. So I just say Irish even if I could justifiably say four other countries or just call myself a mut

"Where are you from?" is one of those sentences that amuses me. I remember asking a colleague that question here in the UK and he told me about his parental heritage which was pretty complicated, and after he finished I followed up with, "yeah, that's great, but I was wondering where you were bought up here in England because you sound like a posh southerner". I don't think most people my generation or younger really care about your racial background so much, more about where you call "home".

Joey is like the platonic autralian-japanese

That’s very true, here in America the identity politics are very different and how we go about these topics range based on who you’re talking to and where you are. There’s a subtle understanding that by asking you where you’re from immediately estranges you from your immediate surroundings - you don’t belong here so what are you doing here? Sometimes it is just polite conversation because we do talk to everyone, “freedom of speech” and all that. But there are plenty of racists who’ll use it to make malicious comments, you’re not REALLY from here. It’s like oh where are you from, where are your parents from? Where are your grandparents from? And they’ll keep going back and back until they find the source of their preconceived notions. Like OH your great great grandfather is from (I.E China) oh I could tell you were Chinese- enter stereotypes.

I am brasilian I understand Portuguese fluently however speaking it I have a thick accent and will forget words mid sentence. But if someone said that same word to me in Portuguese I understand it. When I try think of it myself I cannot. Translating Portuguese to English is easy... English to Portuguese is hard. I think in English so it's crazy I kinda half blame my family for not only speaking to me in Portuguese and demanding me to only reply in Portuguese. I was 8 years old I didn't have the capacity to understand that it would be good to keep speaking it... my parents should have known better. However it is cool that I understand it still just my speaking ability is at most 50%... my understanding is probably at 90%. In terms of reading I can read Portuguese 90% but writing is at 50% it is so damn weird.

I myself am Asian American. my parents are Malaysian & Slavic respectively. Joey was exactly correct when he talked about the interaction between people here in America (2:49 - 3:20). there's a major difference between someone being genuinely curious about your race/ethnicity compared to someone saying "no, where are you *FROM*?" (in a derogatory manner). I think another reason why Americans are more sensitive about the whole topic is because for some reason Americans tend to automatically just assume that you're a specific type of Asian. for example, I have actually been told that I look distinctly Korean when I have nobody in my family from Korea. then there's the even more naïve instance where an American will see you, blindly assume you are "X" type of Asian, and then also assume that you are somehow fluent in "X" language immediately. fortunately I don't experience a lot of rude, racist behavior towards me, but if I do then I just calmly ignore it & walk away from the situation immediately. I'm glad this topic is being discussed on the podcast though, cheers lads.

As a mexican american, i grew up on both cultures. My heritage, culture and family came from mexico, so i take that with me and just call myself as such, even tho my spanish is not as good as i want it. I was born and raised here in the us, so thats also part of my identity. I just flip flop between mexican and mexican american.