I'm not bipolar but I absolutely get what you mean. My wife and I would have drinks on the weekend, but the thought of going to bed absolutely repulsed me. I just wanted to stay up talking, drinking, listening to music. I wanted that perfect night so bad. To hit the sweet spot and never leave it. Needless to say booze rarely delivered, and my wife simply couldn't meet the needs that the drug (alcohol) caused me to want in a night. It was never anything sexual. It was a level of what I perceived at the time to be depth. I wanted to just talk, discuss, considering thing, ponder, laugh etc. And when my wife would go to bed, I'd stay up with my headphones on (often all night) listening to music and chatting to friends online. I would be absolutely shattered the next day and would go to bed about 7am. I'd often not remember going to bed, and I'd wake up the following afternoon with the most horrendous fear about what I might have said or done. Thankfully I became a non-drinker 4 years ago and life has never been this good. That said, I will never forget the lows. Those long, dark, lonely nights where withdrawal would leave me unable to sleep and I'd be sat on my balcony at 03:00am looking over a very lonely London city wishing I were dead. I'd have a can of beer to try and land the plane, blazing through cigarettes with the most horrendous loop of negativity swirling in my mind. I was absolutely consumed with guilt and self hated. I'm a very lucky man my wife stuck with me because she believed I had the ability to overcome my addiction. She's my angel. My heart goes out to this poor fella in this video along with all others struggling with mental health and addiction. I wish I could just shower love on all those suffering with the pain. Be well my good folk reading this message. Sending you all loads of love from a fella who has been there and done it xx Edit - Sorry I just realised that Tom was an actor. What a fine actor! Still, I feel for the actual Tom because the dialogue is taken from an actual session.

Sounds like me rn

That’s me now. Fuck it. Might as well stay drunk if I’m feeling like shit 60% of the time.

I haven't had a manic episode for 5 years now and I honestly look back at that time and really do miss the energy tbh. It just felt like a normal person just couldn't keep up with my thought process. The meds they gave me during hospitalization just drug me down, and stopped taking all drugs after I left the hospital and it's been working out for me tbh.

How do you heal from this?

After being diagnosed I still dont know whether I should own some actions (and there are some pretty bad ones) or chalk them up as a product of the disorder. It is most likely a little of both but the balancing act becomes where is the line. You still have to deal with the thoughts and feelings of those you hurt along the path and for them your 100% at fault no matter what...

@@joshuapruneau4948it’s doesn’t help if you don’t have a support system, then they just say you’re using the disorder as a excuse

currently in that situation.

Yeah exactly

Ryan Newman Thanks for your feedback Ryan, really glad to know they have been useful!

I think you'd do better to actually SPEAK with REAL PEOPLE with bipolar disorder!!!

Is having issues with eye contact and disorganized speech characteristics of BPD? I was diagnose with BP type two six years ago. They explained to me the high and low mania episodes but that was it. I thought all the other stuff like the stuff you mention were just my own personal flaws.

Actor?

@Hotto doggu Really enjoyed reading this!! I wished you wrote more.

sound like a good future husband

It was great to hear that your fiancee supported you no matter what we need more people like him and to have compassionate behaviour towards psychological problems.

What does it mean when you specify the old *white* man?

@@marijag3253 probably that these theories have mostly been conceived and propounded by old white men, which is correct. Think Carl Jung, Sigmund Freud...

this is an actor. Read the description (although the script is from a real case)

Hi Eric, thank you for watching and for your feedback. It's great to hear you like the video!

My educated guess would be the liquor alieves the depression you experience as a type II...my question is, tho, is does the alcohol bring about a high?? or does it simply take your mind off the depression??....I am fairly manic, so I to drink to put a nice soft damper on my mania....lithium didn't do a thing, it made me poop alot.

It's a tremendous performance.

I didn't know if was an actor 😆

@@johniorio7951 I'm a manic too...just "undercover"...I'm not going to let anyone change me...my mania works for me and keeps me happy and I do stuff I can think about when I get into my depression and suicidal thoughts. When I am manic people who are depressed and try to dampen my mania with their negative projections on me...it can get overwhelming so I'd rather flock to the happy people, but I am also aware that my "happy" makes people flock to me... Gotta set my boundaries and be discerning on who to be around...I can lift up any mood for other people but when I am down nobody wants to come lift me up...so I learned to lift myself up. No relationship without reciprocity. I do understand some people are not able to reciprocate and that's fine...just don't try to shit on me because you don't know how to be happy.

It’s the same for me and it’s starting to progress to thoughts of not caring about my bad decisions which later results to guilt feelings and overcompensating to try and right my wrongs, I’m back on my meds and going to try therapy

Same here! A better understanding of it will help us control it :)

Stabilize*

Don't watch these videos. Get a help from psych.

Blessings to you. I wasn't diagnosed until in my 30s!!!!! I KNOW I had it at your age. I would feel, "happy." I would chatter a million miles a moment. Most of the time I was quite shy and quiet, so the chattering was quite a difference! I'm SHOCKED my parent's didn't realize something was going on. They were wrapped up in their own alcoholic, narcissistic lives! No thought to my mental health!!! They never thought they should confront their own alcoholism and narcissism.

When you have a manic episode do something creative, workout take a walk I’m telling you bipolar people are smart you can be rich and famous if you believe in yourself

im sorry that it took going to prison for you to get the help you needed, stay strong brother

@@joshuapritchard9281 thanks means as lot to hear those kind words it can be terrible at times funny as well tho

Hi Weasel, thank you for watching and your feedback! I appreciate it.

Can you tell me more about your experience (if you feel comfortable enough to do so) ? Your depressive versus your elated moments.

Even a quickly diagnosed person can be hard to treat. Lots of medical treatments for mental health are so trial and error it can take months or even years to find a medication that works. Also some therapy techniques work for some people and some don't.

+Craig Mackinnon Hi Craig, thanks for watching and sharing your experiences. Thanks too for your kind feedback, it's great to hear you think the video is helping to raise awareness. I hope your job is going well, and wish you all the best in your journey.

Absolutely! Thank you!

+Craig Mackinnon what pills did u take? i just smoke, never take medicins.. smoke weed only, no alkohol

Can't smoke, get completely paranoid, used to. Now on resperidin, as an antipsychotic. cilift as an antidepressant and zolpedum to sleep. They work pretty well

Craig Mackinnon okay, but u know when u dont smoke much a day and just do it everyday, the pain will go away. im talking from experience.

K it could be genetic

Buddy Mckay me too! Age and all

@@ameliahex4917 currently this is me too and idk how to feel 😖

Can I ask u a question? When u were at your "low" mood except from depression did u had and symptoms like headaches etc? Like psysical symptoms? Sorry for my english I'm not from England

@@alexandravasileiou7201 Not in particular. Got pain both when up and down anyway.

@@alexandravasileiou7201 When I am in low mood, I cry profusely for the silliest reasons possible. And yes, due to all these crying my head, neck pains a lot. I have not yet visited a doctor, but the symptoms of bipolar disorder that I found on internet matches with me.

my wife was also a bipolar for 6 years but with the help of dr ojemen my wife we were able to get cure from it with the herbal treatment she’s free now kzfaq.info/love/B3A6CCewN60s6kAI0mcWDw

Feel the same about myself… but anything is possible keep striving ❤️

Wow I had the same experience with Adderall. I was given it in grade one. Then had a manic breakdown for a few weeks. Bipolar is apparently commonly misdiagnosed as ADHD. It’s also possible to have bipolar and adhd. This is what I have.

Whoaa so the Adderall actually worsened ur condition after ur psychotic breakdown?

But you did age ten years to get that paper. Well, it depends on which paper.

You're born with bipolar. Drugs and stress only exacerbate and/or trigger underlying mental illnesses.

@@revv2490 Why you get bipolar is a mystery. Well, kind of. Psychology itself is considered a mystery. Most of it can't be proven with some sort of formula, and that's why some people call it a mystery. There are outside factors to consider. Genetics can only affect so much.

I agree, happens to a lot of ppl, crippling anxiety, depression, the stress really allows latent issues to manifest and worsen when an easier life may have kept it dormant

@@revv2490 exactly. Stress

Yeah sleep is important. Because it affects mood and energy. Now i ve been getting less of sleep for a few days. Starting to lose my job my gf and im accept it. But how do improve sleep?

You said it. All of that ideal for all of that.

Question How did you find out you were bipolar? Thank you :)

@@MissEmma2300 My Aunt had Bipolar so it ran in the family. Since the age of 17 or so (about the age of onset) I was always depressed with flat emotions. Just blah. It effected my jobs and relationships. I never really felt happy and had to force a happy face when deep down I wasn't alright. I never really felt alive. I did drugs just to feel something. I would do some very risky stuff just to feel anything. There were many times though I was highly elated for sometimes 4 days at a stretch (mania). I was the life of the party, could get a room to bust up laughing and was filled with happy vibes. It was an amazing feeling as for those times I felt actually alive. Fast forward to 23. I was engaged and the relationship failed and I tried to take my life. The stress caused my mind to feel like it was boiling. I went crazy. Stupid thinking now but at the time it made sense. I was sent to the psych ward of the hospital because of that and when they dug into my family history and learned my behavior patterns it became clear. It took 2 years to find the medication that works which really sucked.

I have so many unfinished "projects" it's insane.

I think this condition has it's origins in the gut not the brain.

Thanks for your comment. Have never heard anyone mention chocolate, it is for sure a trigger for me.

tchrisou812 the description says he’s acting and this is a portrayal

Good point. I think people who suspect phenylketonuria should definitely get a test to confirm though. It's a pretty rare disorder.

Phenylketonuria has been a standard test in all newborn babies since at least 40 years in Germany (just looked it up, first tests in 1966). I'd expect the same in every first world country 🤔

​@@cymbala6208 It happens in America (all states), Canada, new Zealand, Australia, Japan, Western Europe and many countries of Eastern Europe such as Greece. Some countries of the Balkans don't test for it. I don't know about Africa at all and many countries of Asia and Latin America. Also immigrants and refugees that come from countries that don't test for it can stay undiagnosed in the countries who test it because it happens for newborn babies. Anyone who has more or other info about the matter can share it, it is very important.

I took this as him being on the other end of the spectrum. He seems to have come down from his manic episode and is in a lower mood, bordering depression.

India Adams the description says he’s an actor? Maybe this is staged

Imagine living most of your life undiagnosed and finally things make more sense later in life; being psychologically ill since childhood basically with no treatment. The brain is probably damaged beyond repair.

+James Stafford Hi James, it depends what country you're in, but there are lots of routes to being a therapist in the UK. I am a Clinical Psychologist (CP). The first step to becoming a CP is to get a British Psychology Society approved undergraduate psychology degree. On graduation, you can get work in the NHS IAPT scheme as a wellbeing therapist, an assistant psychologist or a research assistant. You can also gain further experience via further education such as Psychology Masters or PhD. Once you've gathered a range of experiences/further education post-degree, you can apply for Clinical Psychology Doctoral training courses, which last 3 years and give you a range of clinical experiences. I'm afraid I don't know as much about becoming a CBT therapist directly (or other types of therapist), but if you contact the BABCP (British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies) or the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) they should be able to advise. Best of luck!

Rowing?

Like rowing a boat??

A row is also a noisy argument.

Just came across your comment, how are you now? Hope you’re doing well

Please hang in there and know that your life is precious and very valuable, no matter what.

Keep your head up, I’m not Self Diagnosing but I’m Ngl I might have This disorder myself, The emotional highs and absolute lows and tell me more about have a Blank mind cuz that’s how I feel like, Like no thoughts are in my mind, Is that linked to this disorder and not being really able to express yourself?

The oscillation is very stressful 😒

Sammy Stefaoui I think you make a very relevant point about the feelings of shame. It’s devastating.

This is an actor bro

@@3aeren is it though? Saw plenty of case studies in video format exactly like this in college.

@@alexanderhunt8005 yeah it's an actor champ

Do you also have d.i.d? What meds work, are the other personalities not bipolar?

@@dreamznaspiratons7064 no I don't have, meds that treat personality disorder is usually are anti depressants in my opinion.

Why what? I mean I thought it was a real session.

You do know he's only an actor for the purpose of this video? 🍪pocket.

Patients or patience ?

When I am hypo manic I talk fast. And also I have more energy so my voice goes high pitched. But when I get into depression my voice is low pitched/baritone.(when in depression due to guilt and low self confidence I talk similar to him) Sometimes I feel like I can send my thoughts. Although I can't remember when. But I have that experience. I think it is called thought broadcasting or something

my wife was also a bipolar for 6 years but with the help of dr ojemen my wife we were able to get cure from it with the herbal treatment she’s free now kzfaq.info/love/B3A6CCewN60s6kAI0mcWDw

He had delusions of grandeur and maybe bpd

music business isn't it?

@@malibustacey3870 advertising

+Emily Mulhaul Hi Emily, thanks for your message and your kind words. Unfortunately I am not a specialist trauma therapist, but I am planning to make a video in January where a colleague of mine demonstrates some ground techniques. Watch this space! =)

+Coral Laroc I think that because it started before he started taking the drugs, they probably saw it as the pressure of exams bringing back the illness that he thought he had under control. Also, excessive drug use is a symptom of manic episodes.

That's a good question. When I was diagnosed with bipolar as a teenager. They did ask me if I used drugs/alcohol. Never touched any drugs outside of marijuana occasionally. They kind of just seem to be able to spot those things. I remember my therapist talking to me a year later after my first intake. She goes do you remember your first visit? And I go no; she goes of course you don't. You were manic. She didn't diagnose me at the tip of a hat, but they're pretty good at recognizing it. The way you speak, the way you dress, and what you're talking about. Eventually they figure it out. For instance, I was talking so quickly and the speech was very pressured. A lot of things I was saying were relatively coherent, but I would go off-topic quite a bit as well.

I forgot to mention. Sometimes drug usage can exaggerate a manic episode, or toss someone into it. If you listen to what he's saying, you'll hear some grandiosity thinking as well.

Coral Laroc They certainky were.

Coral Laroc from someone who has bipolar, I can clear this up for you. This guy was doing a lot of drugs but if you hear why he was, there's no real reason. With bipolar mania many people get random urges to do crazy grandiose shit like spend money and take drugs. I remember the first time I had a manic episode, never done any drugs and yet in mania I had a strong craving urge to do cocaine and E, weed anything, anything that would get me in the party fucked up spirit is what is the sort of feeling. It's weird, but distinguishable from these feelings during mania to the cravings of a substance abuser. Hope this answered your question 👍🏻

I think he's an actor. lol That's what some of the comments said.

It's an actor

Hi Ephram, I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing at the moment. I hope you find the right support to help you.

+Judith Johnson thank U,Judith,Im fine,i've already accepted it,i think it's important to understand my situation by myself,then i can explain to myself when im in the disorder Bipolar problem

why it's scary?

stop taking it. see how it works out. find out you were actually bipolar and start raking it again. thank me for my genius.

so you went mania because you didnt sleep? i didnt sleep last night or night before and i have a bit of mania symtoms wondering if its just sleep deprivation and ill be back to normal when i sleep.

So you got diagnosed after not sleeping for a few days? That shouldn't happen so quick even if it is real bipolar.

How can a diagnosis be made with all that stimulant usage?

Misdiagnoses is very common , they call it trial and error. My son has autism they've dignoses him as depression, anxiety, sczophreninic, scitzo effective, bipolar and now he so recked up that I think there is never going to be a return to what he was. He is locked in the system and I fear I have lost him forever.

Sorry to hear about your father, +jraybay, I hope he is doing better. Putting real sessions on film is difficult because of the need to protect the privacy of the client. Being in a therapy session is a very personal experience, and I would prefer not to ask someone to engage with a real session for KZfaq. However, I do plan to put up an interview soon with someone who has experienced mental health difficulties and CBT, which I hope you might find interesting.

+Judith Johnson I guess I knew the answer already but I understand why its not possible. Maybe this sounds weird but ... I would come to you ... if I had any issues. You look like a trustworthy and caring person, yes WEIRD I know. I watched your other videos too. They taught me a few things and appear to be genuine at the same time, somehow. Personally, this is the best content I've seen so far.

Hi jraybay , thanks for your kind feedback, it's great to hear that you found the videos useful!

Yes you can have lobp (late onset bipolar) a misconception is that everyone has these massive highs there is different types of bi polar and one is variable. I am being honest just from how you phrase it that you use energy drinks to lift you from depression. If it's a slow later onset drugs and alcohol is more likely to be your path of destruction. I am not a professional but the past 17 years I spend everyday with people with mental health and/or disorders. You would feel like your losing your mind if you had bi polar suicdal thought or attempts in about 40 percent of people with bi polar according to the stats. It's mind bending to live with tears nearly daily on ups and on downs angry outbursts are extremely common as is intolerance to noise the same with some people who have generalized anxiety disorder. I personally have murderous thoughts when I go into deep depression it start with me wanting to kill me then when I can't do that my thoughts go dark about other people. I understand my thought process thoughts are just thoughts but with anxiety depression and bi polar instead of filtering thought they stick like glue. This is a major factor we probably all have dark thoughts but they flow through the mind rather than dissecting them. As people with addictions and underlying health problems do. I think you should ring the charity call MIND they are absolutely amazing and nationwide even in this current situation they got me a sponser who helps me weekly. Although I help others I can't alway help myself but by helping others it helps me. My latest bad mental health was due to me thinking I could stop helping others but it's clear I always need to talk about it, the more the better. Mind will be able to push you to push your gp to push for a proper mental health assessment. You need these people behind you to try and work out what is what. In late 2018 the whole system changed to actually start to cater for mental health not just physical health. We are the hidden illness. I was diagnosed with gad , anger issues and reactive depressive which is incorrect because reactive depression lasts for 6 months max and here I am with the noose dangling again and feeling no different. I had never thought of asking mind for help I had done all my work with addiction agencies years later and years without alcohol and I am no different whatsoever so it's now clear with the help of mind that I am under diagnosed. It's not me who can't accept that I am a nutjob it's society. If I can get back to work I need to tell the boss that I cry and fly off the handle which is not easy for a blokey bloke to do, it.hard.to feel this vunerable and potential dangerous at the same time. I don't harm anyone or.myself because I work on my mind daily anyone who wants to suffer a miserable existence can do so but there is a better way. It took me several years to even open up about my darkness if I didn't I might not be typing this now. I was self employed a lovely girlfriend great friends these are all gone now but I refused to lay down under a truck and I am actually making friends now but.of the same mindset as me I am a deeper person but a more thoughtful person I am not a immediate danger to myself or others and most importantly I am not selfish. All I cared about before I seeked help many years ago was me. Me myself and I. Keep going Kimberly keep.searching.for the answers at the least it will give you focus if not the cure. Waffling a bit but I feel others pain.

I just read what I typed back to myself apologies some it it doesn't make total sense in my first reply to you. A few other clues to bi polar is that when you start talking you don't stop and you interject between other peoples conversion you are likely to have a mental block too, as you get older it affects the hippocampus (short term memory) it can be as if sometimes someone has started speaking a foreign language to you think can be harder to understand that use to be straight forward. I personally don't remember much day to day except for the stuff I don't want to remember, the negatives this is when I am on my lows. How can I know this if I haven't been diagnosed yet. Heres the clue, antidepressants since I was 16 aged 42 diagnosed with glaucoma so I can't take the antidepressants which was a mask for me to some extent the last three years without medication have been the worse. If you have bi polar of any type your mind will swirl near endless on a high of low mood like a tornado in the brain or a committee meeting of people you don't want to.listen to and for sure insomnia will be a issue. Another danger is energy drinks themselves they are a absolute mind poison by themselves they solely can cause horrendous insomnia and mental health issues and sugar in large quantities is as bad as caffeine. If you have watch my 600lb life sugar is killing lots of people. Listen to professionals advice but don't take them for gospel half are just people who read books only a person suffering from the illness you have can truly understand you. This is why nearly all addiction specialists are now ex addiction that wasn't the case in the past. Itr the way forward though. It's not a golden rule but nobody knows you better than you so if something has changed or intensified please get help. Trust me lockdown has messed up the so called normal people it's intensified my thinking so will affect you and others too.