Psychiatric Interview: BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) | Part 1 | Dr. Karen Jacob

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BorderlinerNotes

BorderlinerNotes

3 жыл бұрын

A first meeting between a person diagnosed with BPD and expert clinician Karen Jacob, who is the Program Director for a Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment Program and an Instructor of Psychology.
Follow-up Session 1.5 years later: • Psychiatric Follow-up ...
You can find Part 3 (Analysis with Dr. Jacob) here: • Psychiatric Interview:...
And Part 2 (Debrief with Client) here: • Psychiatric Interview:...
Playlist of all Charlotte vids:
• Charlotte | pwBPD
This is a long form, minimally edited interview. This is not an acted scene. Please be advised: subjects discussed include self-harm, substance use, death of a family member, domestic abuse and other difficult subject matter.
This video is part of a series of sessions with therapists who work with Borderline Personality Disorder. Playlist of all videos to date is here: • Playlist
Dr. Jacob is at the forefront of treatment for people with BPD, including those who experience co-occurring psychiatric conditions such as substance use, eating disorders, depression, or anxiety. Her short bio:
"Karen L. Jacob, PhD, is the program director of the Gunderson Residence. She received her PhD in clinical psychology from Clark University and completed her post-doctoral training at Cambridge Health Alliance at Harvard Medical School. Her clinical training has been primarily in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) for patients struggling with mood, anxiety, and personality disorders, as well as in mindfulness, mentalization, dialectical behavior, and biofeedback therapies.
Dr. Jacob has an extensive research training background, having studied topics including diabetes, adoption, attachment, panic disorder, and psychotherapy outcomes. She has authored numerous papers and presentations and was honored with the Hiatt Scholarship. Her current research interests include understanding the effectiveness of empirically-supported treatments in clinical contexts and in elucidating mechanisms of change in treatment. Dr. Jacob has a particular interest in understanding the relative impact of different components of treatment on outcome, as measured by both symptom and functional improvement."
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For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
Our archive of videos on mental health is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes
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Disclaimer: Please be advised this video may contain sensitive information. All content found within this publication (VIDEO) is provided for informational purposes only. All cases may differ, and the information provided is a general guide. The content is not intended to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have specific questions about a medical condition, you should consult your doctor or other qualified medical professional for assistance or questions you have regarding a medical condition. Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes does not recommend any specific course of medical remedy, physicians, products,opinion, or other information.
Studio Comma The, LLC and BorderlinerNotes expressly disclaim responsibility and shall have no liability for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffering as a result of reliance on the information in this publication. If you or someone you know is considering self-harm or suicide, it’s okay to ask for help. 24 hour support is provided by www.hopeline-nc.org (877.235.4525), suicidepreventionlifeline.org (800.273.8255), kidshelpphone.ca (800.668.6868).

Пікірлер: 3 900
@lemurdream
@lemurdream 3 жыл бұрын
"I would hate to pass what I went through onto a living creature." I felt that.
@jmr4939
@jmr4939 3 жыл бұрын
MY MOM ONLY SAID IT I CANT REMEMBER. .. IM DUMB ANYWAY E
@lisaj5769
@lisaj5769 3 жыл бұрын
had same feelings and hence no children.
@bingbongbang45
@bingbongbang45 3 жыл бұрын
exact words out of my mouth
@stuff1784
@stuff1784 3 жыл бұрын
I have BPD. I feel the exact same way.
@hoodoo.hillbilly
@hoodoo.hillbilly 3 жыл бұрын
ABSOLUTELY! Good to see I’m not the only one. Greatest accomplishment of my life, not reproducing.
@lisaj5769
@lisaj5769 3 жыл бұрын
she's fucking brave for putting herself out there. I applaud her courage.
@barbararipani1331
@barbararipani1331 3 жыл бұрын
Nope, she’s in her glory.
@williegates627
@williegates627 3 жыл бұрын
BPDers WANT the attention. The DSM states this explicitly. The user "barbara" is exactly right. The interviewee plays a part for attention, and obviously gets it. There's nothing wrong with that in that it is a symptom of the disease. But it's not bravery. It's a symptom that, if she was well, she would feel like we all do about doing this type of thing. It's not bravery at all.
@Missditabomb
@Missditabomb 3 жыл бұрын
@@williegates627 I don't necessarily think that BPDers want the attention that a psychiatric interview, posted on-line, would bring. For the most part, Borderlines KNOW they are deeply flawed, but DO NOT want that exposed to the world. In fact, in their own maladaptive way, they do everything to not appear, "unwell". (It's all about appearances with a Borderline!!) Now, walking into a party and being the best-dressed, sexiest, most elegant, ya, I would agree that Borderlines love that attention, but to be EXPOSED as severely flawed and damaged, I don't believe that.
@EllaWatson
@EllaWatson 3 жыл бұрын
@@williegates627 I find it interesting, and a bit telling, that you reposted this same comment on two different posts...
@rose4490
@rose4490 3 жыл бұрын
@@Missditabomb Border personality disorder is highly stigmatized.
@amlgarrett
@amlgarrett 2 жыл бұрын
My sister lost her battle with BPD last year. She was sweet, wonderful. BPD is a way to cope with abuse. My heart goes out to anyone with BPD
@Miriboheme
@Miriboheme 2 жыл бұрын
i'm so sorry, white feather.
@realbluemeanie
@realbluemeanie 2 жыл бұрын
May your sister rest in peace. My condolences.
@aoz307
@aoz307 2 жыл бұрын
:(
@alanaronald244
@alanaronald244 2 жыл бұрын
sorry for your loss
@nitalightell336
@nitalightell336 2 жыл бұрын
It's horrible
@ashleighwickham
@ashleighwickham Жыл бұрын
The relentless mind chatter. All day, all night. It never stops and it makes you so tired. Thankyou for being so honest about BPD. I feel less alone.
@superlugnut
@superlugnut Жыл бұрын
Ive since stopped but the first time I smoked, I cried because it all stopped and I was so happy. My friend didn't understand why I was so happy, it's because I was able to just be. I didnt have to worry about my trainwreck of thoughts.
@Uhhlaneuh
@Uhhlaneuh Жыл бұрын
That reminds me of adhd. I didn’t know BPD was like that
@IntelligentFlame
@IntelligentFlame Жыл бұрын
@@Uhhlaneuh You can also have both ADHD + BPD and since they overlap a lot symptom-wise at the basic level, they amplify each other drastically.
@Uhhlaneuh
@Uhhlaneuh Жыл бұрын
@@IntelligentFlame correct, they can be comorbid like how I have anxiety/adhd
@christopherpederson1021
@christopherpederson1021 11 ай бұрын
i have a two channel system of chatter going. i haven’t had a decent nights sleep for 27 years
@nancydashiell1429
@nancydashiell1429 3 жыл бұрын
It hit home for me when she said she felt like a turtle without a shell. I grew up feeling every emotion so much intensely and with no tools to handle it. Thank God for therapy.
@Medietos
@Medietos 3 жыл бұрын
NAncy D: Doyou mean that you actually get therapy that HELPS, that the therapist is WORKING with you, with a plan with you, co-working with you?
@sarahholland2600
@sarahholland2600 3 жыл бұрын
I literally did a double take when she said that because I used the exact same phrase around 5 years ago when in a Counselling session. My Counsellor said it made him wince at the thought of being that raw.
@Missditabomb
@Missditabomb 3 жыл бұрын
@@sarahholland2600 Yes, the emotions are that raw with Borderlines. They cannot put emotions into any perspective, so everything is RAW. Your therapist, however, should not have said anything about about how your situation/statement affected HIM.
@jessicamarie8299
@jessicamarie8299 3 жыл бұрын
So you are a psychopath?
@marbleblue5127
@marbleblue5127 3 жыл бұрын
What kind of therapy? Regular "talking/counseling" doesn't help.
@auntihooha
@auntihooha 3 жыл бұрын
In case this young woman reads these comments, I would like to tell her what I did after I was sick of talking to therapists: I began to record myself talking, and I'd later listen to myself. I did this sober, while drinking alcohol, while stoned...I let it all out. I was my best therapist, because only I could decipher the significance to each rant, each memory. I also got out my anger towards my mother; I yelled at her, called her horrific names, and when I listened later, I felt rather sorry for the woman. It actually reduced my anger, it helped me release my stories outloud and have someone, a slightly futurist me, listen to the rantings. I was able to validate my feelings and my reactions to the abuse and neglect I received. I've moved on quite a bit after doing that. I feel less guilt and shame, I feel stronger. I've realized my areas of weakness and have been working on improving myself. I see your pain and know it well. It does get better; you just need to find a way to love and forgive yourself.
@all4beesandbees4all
@all4beesandbees4all 3 жыл бұрын
Love this idea! Thank you.
@athenadamaris
@athenadamaris 3 жыл бұрын
Wow great idea I’m going to try this, thank you so much!
@222cutekitty
@222cutekitty 3 жыл бұрын
i recorded myself telling my life story for the first time one late night when i was about 14. now my heart hurts because i truly had and still really have no one
@athenadamaris
@athenadamaris 3 жыл бұрын
@@222cutekitty Awe :/ I know it’s not easy and I’m sure what I say sounds cliche but I’m sure there are someone out there that loves you and cares even if it’s a stranger or people here in the comments. I hope you are doing well and sounding yourself with like minded people. I don’t know you but I do sympathize and feel for you. I hope you take care of yourself and know you are deserving of love
@be_like_water721
@be_like_water721 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely love this - both the sentiment for Charlie (a super strong, vibrant and beautifully-spirited woman) and your self-therapy technique is awesome. I've often used journalling in the same way, but might give this a try. Although I find my journals to be excellent therapy, I imagine listening to your own voice would be even more powerful because you would hear the inflections/emotion in your voice, in a way that you can't quite do with words on a page. Love it, Kristina. Thank you
@ariebeston187
@ariebeston187 2 жыл бұрын
BPD is the best example of why you should never cause a child harm, neglect, or if these things do happen, whatever you do, do not deny the reality of that abuse or neglect.
@MrMakingwavesmedia
@MrMakingwavesmedia 2 жыл бұрын
I am sorry stop this ignorance. One is born with BPD it is not caused by abuse that is absolutely not true and if you tell people like this they are victims you absolutely do not help them.
@leonardomarquez7039
@leonardomarquez7039 Жыл бұрын
@@MrMakingwavesmedia literal doctors and scientists(which doesnt include you) are almost clueless about bpd in comparison to other disorders. so get off that like you know what youre talking about its a combination of genetic and environmental. hope one day youre not as ignorant as you were months ago and as you prob still are now
@erictim9052
@erictim9052 Жыл бұрын
@@MrMakingwavesmedia lol good on you
@cudderkid1336
@cudderkid1336 Жыл бұрын
@@MrMakingwavesmedia you’re not born with BPD. It’s caused by traumatic events in early childhood/teenage years
@TantricMuse11
@TantricMuse11 Жыл бұрын
@@MrMakingwavesmedia I agree that we are the complex genetic amalgamation of our ancestry, so yes, born with the symptoms. This is however further exacerbated by our traumatic abusive upbringings which are devoid of any form of healthy attachment.
@jeffandersen7397
@jeffandersen7397 2 жыл бұрын
"i'm not being super hard on myself, i'm just being honest" . . . that resonated
@LeighlaMarieTherapy
@LeighlaMarieTherapy 5 күн бұрын
Totally. The client wasn’t “being hard on herself” and the therapist looked visibly uncomfortable with the challenge. When talking about her dad’s passing, the client voiced that she felt like she could have and should have “done better.” Guilt isn’t a “bad” thing especially if it’s merited. Then the therapist kept bringing up the client’s “self-condemnation” up over and over in different ways. Like a power play. “You can talk the talk” after the client said “I’ve had SO much therapy.” Silently insinuating that she can’t “walk the walk.” This woman has WALKED the WALK to even be alive. I couldn’t work with a therapist like this and, as a MFT student, I’m hopeful that I never interact with clients in such a shaming and condescending manner.
@bekacynthia
@bekacynthia 3 жыл бұрын
She looks so tired, so sick of everything, and yet, she seems so sweet!
@michellesmith9821
@michellesmith9821 2 жыл бұрын
Yes it’s very exhausting. My daughter has it and every time I want to say how exhausted I am I just try to imagine her daily “hell” as she says.
@alisonderrick1067
@alisonderrick1067 2 жыл бұрын
She is a sweetheart. I can tell that she has a tender spirit and a broken heart. She is living in torment, like so many of us are. But, she’s gonna be okay. She needs to know that a lot of people feel that way. And that friendships are just almost impossible to find after school. And friends are a good thing. And she would be an amazing wife and an amazing mother. Awwwww she is so beautiful. God bless you sweet girl. You’re awesome! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Thank You for being so honest and so open. And her best days are ahead of her. God bless the girl. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m sorry for your loss. I’m positive that we will see our dad’s again.
@Dwelleronthethreshold89
@Dwelleronthethreshold89 2 жыл бұрын
maybe she just has those droopy eye genes. saying someone looks tired does no one any favors.
@KawaiiKandikidPLURR
@KawaiiKandikidPLURR 2 жыл бұрын
Not you describing me
@lisawoodie173
@lisawoodie173 2 жыл бұрын
Every single day is a fight. There’s never a break….
@jennycisneros5277
@jennycisneros5277 3 жыл бұрын
Seeing how she talks, the way she trips over her words as if she’s trying to reassure herself, the jumpiness and lack of eye contact - I see myself there. I see the hurt disparaged and dismissed daughter who only felt safe in her own head
@JnTmarie
@JnTmarie 3 жыл бұрын
💜🙏🏻🧘🏻‍♀️your truth is beautiful.
@map2001luvskitties
@map2001luvskitties 3 жыл бұрын
very well put, same
@2dogmomo885
@2dogmomo885 3 жыл бұрын
Jenny, you are absolutely correct. It’s exactly how I act. God bless her. I’m sitting here in my car waiting to go inside to my therapist. My C-PTSD therapist... and there is a pit in my stomach
@whendoigettosayfuck
@whendoigettosayfuck 3 жыл бұрын
WE can balance our energy centers and cure these problems.I am doing it and winning.
@nicoleshaffer1816
@nicoleshaffer1816 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, !! I truly appreciate the willingness to share your story. Hearing your story brought freedom to my n
@sigmarecovery699
@sigmarecovery699 7 ай бұрын
I am a man with BPD. Depression and suicidal ideation began in childhood. Both parents were well educated, intellectual, and sadistic. There is no compassion for men with deep emotions. Zero. I remember having dreams as a little kid. I was gentle…..used to tuck in my two stuffed dinosaurs before I went to school (I was worried they would get cold). I am 48…..I still cannot accept the tragedy of my existence and the malevolence I have known. Raped by a man at 16. Been physically abused in most of my romantic relationships with women. When I say abuse, I mean things like having my head split open, drug by a car, threatened with knives, punched, slapped, kicked in the groin, shoved…….unfortunately, agreeableness coupled with heightened empathy as a man doesn’t work in this world. No idea how two jackals like my parents produced an empath. There was the life I could or should have had……however, I have to radically accept just how scarred and broken I am. Drugs almost killed me. Yeah, I am really tired of therapists.
@tiasara5967
@tiasara5967 Ай бұрын
The fact that you tucked your dinosaurs in and worried for their welfare is the sweetest thing l’ve ever heard. ❤
@lisaproustresearch
@lisaproustresearch Ай бұрын
@sigmarecovery699 How could you be so sweet to protect the dinosaurs? That is so cute !! I hope you can find peace in whatever you choose to do. I find peace in being alone. There is no chaos, no expectations & I can rely on myself. Relying on others is impossible for me. I know I will be let down, so why even open myself to be disappointed? I never went to therapy because I knew I would feel like you do... NOBODY can truly understand, and how can it be undone? Fixed? HOW?. Some of our memories are hidden by our subconcious in order to cope. We use tools to avoid feeling pain (humour, logically diminishing the importance, not remembering, etc.) So NOBODY can truly fix if we don't disclose and disclosure is painful.
@brandonf5558
@brandonf5558 14 күн бұрын
Friend, I recommend prayer. Your life is too valuable to be defined by the terrible things that have happened to you. Look to Jesus. I wish I could explain all that He’s done for me.
@meow-rh5to
@meow-rh5to 13 күн бұрын
Hope ur doing ok today
@romepix
@romepix 11 күн бұрын
I don’t know if this will sound helpful or not but I had a female version of some of the feelings and experiences you described and I found out that I was “Aspergers” version of autism and how SA for women and men and abusive relationships and abuse from parents were recorded in super high incidences. The sensitivity and kindness to even inanimate objects as a child was so relatable. Of course I’m not trying to diagnose you but the last couple years of healing from all this has really helped me. I lost my late husband 6 years ago and barely recovered from that - I believe he was borderline frok Severe childhood abuse and his family was and is very narcissistic - it makes me so sad he is not here to heal and that I couldn’t “save him” and that I neglected my own accountability in my own life - instead focusing on others in true alanon codependent fashion - which looks “altruistic” on paper but I now know was run on fear, selfishness, and having abusive neglectful parents who were also abused. Finding out some answers about myself had helped me really work hard on my self but also find happiness as well. Had to go no contact with some people but I only did therapy for a few years. I believe that not every issue is treatable per se but many more than we expect can be healed or vastly improved. Life is still hard and things still hurt but I feel like my own person now finally. I think I narrowly avoided bpd but the sensory processing issues never being respected plus grief and toxic relationships and domestic violence gave me total burnout for a few years. I’ve had some bad abuse from some borderlines but they were narcissistic also, had some comorbidities. They were also some of the people I loved most. Creating boundaries with people who don’t have them or have trouble respecting others boundaries helps a lot, and sometimes going no contact for however long is needed helps too. ❤️it’s late and I’m rambling 😊
@keepitkawaii4467
@keepitkawaii4467 2 жыл бұрын
Btw...the connection between abusive mothers and BPD is very common. My mom is a raging malignant narcissist and I developed BPD as a result.
@adatbh
@adatbh 2 жыл бұрын
Felt this it’s something so common!!
@joan-lisa-smith
@joan-lisa-smith 2 жыл бұрын
Well no, you developed BPD because you inherited the predisposition to develop it because your mother, a narcissist, also has a cluster B personality disorder.
@cassninetyfour1238
@cassninetyfour1238 2 жыл бұрын
My mother is a malignant narcissist as well it sucks I see so many friends have amazing relationships with their moms and I am jealous. I’m don’t have BPD myself I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I wish you well and hope the relationships with the rest of your family make you feel loved and supported ❤️
@HN111
@HN111 2 жыл бұрын
yess my mom is the same and my older sister had BPD but neither of them believe they have either disorder
@dwiz_9336
@dwiz_9336 2 жыл бұрын
I am so sorry that this happened to you. Knowing you have BPD is half the battle, i wish you incredible fortune and growth on your road to recovery and healing :)
@fl3693
@fl3693 3 жыл бұрын
BPD is all about separation from your "family". When your parents have discarded you and failed to identify your needs as a baby and child. She is smart, empathic and kind. Its basically grief for all that never was.
@ontheborderline2012
@ontheborderline2012 3 жыл бұрын
chills, you just described me.
@fl3693
@fl3693 3 жыл бұрын
@@ontheborderline2012 sending much love. Listen to Marshall Chapmans song "Its never too late to have a happy childhood" Hugs
@fl3693
@fl3693 3 жыл бұрын
@@wilsal2485 I think some BPD sufferers are misdiagnosed. Think also that hormone studies are massively underrepresented for woman. Many many woman whom are suffering "BPD" are suffering literal internal allergic type reactions to hormones. Some people are born with DNA issues that weaken certain things like collagen and or may have sensitivities caused by pollutants from the womb. BPD can be inherited by trauma imprints. Remember we were eggs inside out grandmothers as we grow in our mothers ovaries. Trauma and adrenaline of the maternal lineage massively impacts the DNA and psyche. Your "BPD" may be an inherited thyroid issue or endocrine burnout from a grandmothers situation also. War/Poverty/domestic abuse. There are many factors that could be at play. Mind body and spirit
@fl3693
@fl3693 3 жыл бұрын
@@wilsal2485 I typed a whole reply and it disappeared. Basically there are many factors We are eggs inside out grandmothers as we develop DNA in our mothers eggs. e can have inherited trauma imprints. War/Poverty/Domestic violence trauma can be held and passed this way. Thats why alcoholism can skip generations. There is also a massive issue with sufferers of mental health conditions whom are actually having totally undiagnosed reactions due to genetic weakness to hormone fluctuations. Hormones for some woman set of an unbridled personality highjack they have no idea this is happening as are not encouraged to even track or examine this possibility as modern medicine is really sexist. Full moons also trigger migrines for some re sensitivities to blood volume increase and paracites procreate on full moon and they might live in the blood brain or lungs or stomach and that may have invaded the immune system . This hormone balance fluctuation re depression becomes apparent as when pregnant there can be stabilisation or worsening of symptoms. Also the grossly understudied post partum issues re depression expemplify this Unfortunately because hormones mostly effect woman there has been massive undervaluation of research of the severity of this issue for sue humans. Many many illnesses (Covid 19 most recently) have a hormone protection factor. Its a mixture of mind, body, spirit. Trauma can happen from conception. A lot of people have no idea about the mind state of the mother and father and their stresses at the time of conception as many people in past generations were mind controlled into compete denial of their true feelings due to survival mechanisms and learned programming. Also we are subjected to a lot of endocrine disruptive chemicals daily. Some souls simply arrive here feeling "seperated" and unless you have a very tuned in parent that can get a lot worse. We are at the first tine i history where people are able to express this feeling of separation and grief. For some the answers are in their PTSD history and for others its a more complex biological and hidden or spiritual issue.
@AshJae
@AshJae 3 жыл бұрын
Wow, yes it's true. I always described myself as having multiple personalities as a joke before this was even a talked about thing.
@ririimari
@ririimari 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like I am still a child at 35. I feel everything so intensely that I wish I wasn't here. I dissociate or lash out in anger, and feel like a different person from one minute to the next.
@Jaclyn_Zen
@Jaclyn_Zen 2 жыл бұрын
Same 🥺💜
@Lucky_5090
@Lucky_5090 2 жыл бұрын
@starboy2013
@starboy2013 2 жыл бұрын
Make sure you can differentiate between Chemical and emotional. You are saying you can't self regulate.
@laurahowe9785
@laurahowe9785 2 жыл бұрын
Same age, same feeling.
@TheoEclipse
@TheoEclipse 2 жыл бұрын
Same here. I think without proper therapy and treatment BPD people are a lot more delayed in their emotional maturity.
@krumplethemal8831
@krumplethemal8831 Жыл бұрын
She looks so sad, almost seems permanently sad. Heart breaking that some humans have it so much harder. Life's dice can be cruel .
@keepitkawaii4467
@keepitkawaii4467 2 жыл бұрын
Wow. She nailed it with the nonstop shame and beating herself up. This is what my therapist and I go through nearly every session. She has to constantly bring me out of a shame loop. Wow. This is eye opening when you see it happening in someone else.
@beepbopboop3221
@beepbopboop3221 2 жыл бұрын
What is the shame loop? How does she bring you out of it? I'm curious because I work with people, in general, I'm not a therapist.
@eg7545
@eg7545 Жыл бұрын
@@beepbopboop3221 Like believing in any given thought/situation that it's ultimately your fault/your the problem, shows in language you use also, for example phrases when describing things like 'Brought it on myself', 'my own fault obviously', 'I'm so stupid', 'should have done better', 'could have done better', 'could have done ... But I didn't' etc etc, things that show as bringing yourself down a lot, shaming yourself for how you handled things/the part you did or didn't play at the time and in every regard, it's ultimately yourself that's the problem/to blame. Therapists/psychiatrists 'bring you out of it' by acknowledging it, pointing out that you've said these sorts of ultimately self shaming comments and making you aware of it too, teaching you to be more mindful of what you say, which in turn forces you to challenge the why behind why you unconscious take that stance (I.e bringing yourself down/assuming its always you that's the problem etc and how that shows through in your words) teaching you to be more compassionate towards how you speak of yourself and to start noticing how you speak of yourself, 'catching it' when you say it and challenging it, thinking from a more compassionate, open, non judgemental way and rephrasing what it was you were saying. Know its long but hope it helps 😂🙂
@Maddy-mg5cq
@Maddy-mg5cq 3 жыл бұрын
When she was talking about how holidays are hard because it just reminds her of the family she never had... It hurts my heart. She was failed as a child and no one deserves that.
@lindasanderlin4444
@lindasanderlin4444 3 жыл бұрын
And yet so many children are🤬😭
@pablofurnace
@pablofurnace 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who suffers from the same disorder, I often times hear this same sentiment of not deserving the pain and neglect I experienced (in relation to my childhood). It’s so sweet of you to share that kindness toward her and it’s so inspiring. Please understand I mean this in the most respectful way, but that concept makes no sense to me, personally. I mean I also want to make sure other people don’t feel deserted or hurt. I 100% feel this way when I seen any child even remotely being emotionally neglected and I want to protect them. BUT if I think about this concept as it pertains to me, I have a hard time reconciling that I (personally) deserved better. In my mind it just feels foreign. What could I have done as a child that would have allowed me to deserve being loved, protected, or cherished? It just seems too inherently entitled of a mentality and it makes me feel uncomfortable (which is a very broken thought process, I know). So that’s just my random share. Thanks for letting me share. ❤️ You are awesome.
@tiffb1300
@tiffb1300 2 жыл бұрын
I relate to this so much and inevitably spend every holiday by myself. All I ever wanted was to belong to a tribe. I don't have a tribe.
@Maddy-mg5cq
@Maddy-mg5cq 2 жыл бұрын
@@pablofurnace I'm so glad you shared this because I have something to say about your opinion on the matter. What your perception is on feeling like as a child you deserving better being an "entitled" thought process, is seriously so broken 😥 You may think, "As a kid I didn't do anything exceptional, or I wasn't even a good kid." But that's where your thoughts are flawed ones. Let me key you in on something. As a child, it didn't matter if you were the best behaved or acted out the most. A child doesn't deserve loving guidance based off that, they deserve love just because they are a child. It's as simple as that. And someone who went through a traumatic situation like you, you would never see it that way because you weren't taught your own value as a child. Look back at little you, and be kind to them. Little you needs to be shown that they do matter, they are loved, and most of all that little you needs to be protected from the bad people that hurt you. The ones you trusted most as a kid hurt you and had no care to teach you your value. They failed you as well, and now you feel like as a kid maybe you even deserved your abuse. But hell no that couldn't be farther from the truth. Start working on self love, because it may be the key you need to start seeing little you in a different light. In a light where little you did deserve better love and guidance. I wish I could travel back in time just to give little you a deep hug and chat about how special you really are, even if it doesn't feel that way.
@pablofurnace
@pablofurnace 2 жыл бұрын
@@Maddy-mg5cq OMG, 😭 This is just the most kind thing ever. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your life to write what you did. ❤️ It really means so much. I’ll be 37 next week and I was just sitting here thinking about little me when that message notification came through. I may be a whole grown up female whose out here going through life alone…but little me really needed to hear that. Thank you a million times over. You are a beautiful soul. I’m so thankful for you. xoxo, gina marie 🌻❤️🙏
@nadiah4315
@nadiah4315 3 жыл бұрын
It is such a pleasure to finally see a sensitive, accurate, real portrayal of BPD. Finally.
@BorderlinerNotes
@BorderlinerNotes 3 жыл бұрын
Heart (to your comment). Thanks for the recognizing.
@sugarsaltspice
@sugarsaltspice 3 жыл бұрын
Tell me about it.
@Ariana-zr2cr
@Ariana-zr2cr 3 жыл бұрын
I Agree!!!!!
@Lehmann108
@Lehmann108 3 жыл бұрын
As a psychologist, I have to disagree. While this woman discusses BPD symptoms with insight and clarity, she does not display them in the therapeutic relationship. The words, "insight and clarity" are essentially never associated with BPD. I would defer a diagnosis of BPD for now and wait to see if the typical borderline traits will be expressed in the therapeutic relationship.
@nadiah4315
@nadiah4315 3 жыл бұрын
@@Lehmann108 I think you are making a huge assumption that people with BPD don't have insight into their condition, particularly when they've been through as much therapy as this lady. Myself and my best friend were separately diagnosed with BPD, both of us usually knew exactly what was happening, but had no way of changing it. Please be careful what you assume ❤️
@amandashelton1162
@amandashelton1162 2 жыл бұрын
I have friends who have Borderline Personality disorder. They were abused. I use to set and listen to my best friend in highschool who has borderline personality disorder and I cried with her and made her feel loved. It hurt my heart knowing she was abused and she felt like a ugly useless being. She got mental health services and has been doing well. I am honored to have the time with her. I wouldn't have changed it for the world. She taught me things and I am grateful. ❤️ They need love and support. I myself have DID from childhood abuse. I understand deeply.
@user-jo9bt4gu5r
@user-jo9bt4gu5r 4 ай бұрын
Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
@w0nderl4nd93
@w0nderl4nd93 2 жыл бұрын
I'm 15 minutes in, and feel like I am watching myself speak. This relation, and connection - reminder that *I'm not alone in this* is so appreciated. Words cannot do my gratitude justice. She is so brave for doing this
@mollyfyna2144
@mollyfyna2144 2 жыл бұрын
You are not alone , we are all here to understand ourselves more💞 it's beautiful. Look to the stars and moon always
@annemariebelcher6931
@annemariebelcher6931 11 ай бұрын
Felt that too with exception to the fact my psychiatrist insists I don’t suffer from BPD . Maybe it’s time for a new one? I have Bipolar Disorder 1, depression, insomnia and generalized anxiety.
@wendybofaz
@wendybofaz 9 ай бұрын
I completely related to her. appreciate her ability to put to words what i could not
@MichelleChafins
@MichelleChafins 8 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤
@MichelleChafins
@MichelleChafins 8 ай бұрын
This is literally me... Thank you Charlotte
@anonymouse5910
@anonymouse5910 3 жыл бұрын
i watch this in small segments. i stop the video and cry. then i talk to an imaginary therapist, and tell them my "story". then i go back and listen to another segment. and so on.
@marykelly1723
@marykelly1723 3 жыл бұрын
I do the same thing. Not sure if that's a good thing bcos I'm reacting to this woman and the therapist on my own. I have difficulty getting a regular therapist for myself. They hear bpd and say no.
@DavidDouglasZach
@DavidDouglasZach 3 жыл бұрын
@@marykelly1723 Google "Group therapy for Borderline Personality disorder along with the city you live in and make an appointment tomorrow. That way you can start feeling better. Now quit reading this and go to Google, Mary.
@marykelly1723
@marykelly1723 3 жыл бұрын
@@DavidDouglasZach okay! Thank you!
@dramatriangle
@dramatriangle 3 жыл бұрын
@@marykelly1723 did you find a group?
@janedoe-ex5wo
@janedoe-ex5wo 3 жыл бұрын
❤❤❤
@cocogomez2278
@cocogomez2278 3 жыл бұрын
To the woman on the left. You're not crazy. You have more strength and courage to do this interview than 99.95% of us.
@measl
@measl 2 жыл бұрын
*What you wrote make no sense. What does her "courage" (I submit it's narcissism, not bravery) have to do with crazy>*
@bbeeez
@bbeeez 2 жыл бұрын
@@measl What!?
@Futurama10000
@Futurama10000 2 жыл бұрын
No, she's definitely a total nutjob
@DavidP793
@DavidP793 2 жыл бұрын
Omg, you are ridiculous.
@MrMakingwavesmedia
@MrMakingwavesmedia 2 жыл бұрын
she is and not admitting this is helping nobody
@weefrasey1
@weefrasey1 4 ай бұрын
There's an itense sadness in her eyes, she can smile and laugh but the sadness never leaves. As someone who also has BPD, I can entirely relate with that feeling.
@leeartlee915
@leeartlee915 2 жыл бұрын
What a generous person to allow herself to be filmed during a session/intake/evaluation. Not only for the general public but for other clinicians to learn and improve. I’ve worked with people with BPD and I would be the first to admit that I could do much much better with folks with that diagnosis. Dr. Jacob’s did an amazing job throughout this as well. Thanks.
@derwolf7721
@derwolf7721 3 жыл бұрын
BPD people are usually tough and intelligent, but they can be vulnerable to their own bewilderment. BPD individuals tend to have unstable identities. Therefore, the individual may make a plan in one particular mind frame or mood, and then find difficulty carrying it forward because they unconsciously migrate out of that mind frame into another one that is not congruent with the mindset that made the plan. Dissociation is a part of this cycle. It's the constant phasing in and out. It's very important that the BPD individual stays grounded to present reality. This can be accomplished through simply using the 5 senses in the moment, not necessarily all at once. For example, name 5 things you see, 4 things you are touching, 3 things you are hearing, 2 things you are smelling, etc. This exercise actively brings the mind back to current reality. It pulls you out of ruminating thought patterns. BPD folks usually have depression in some form. They don't feel good much of the time. I personally feel that it's really a condition of someone who is born very sensitive and intelligent and then encounters significant trauma, neglect and abuse. Research supports my opinion, although I have seen references indicting that not all Borderlines were abused, however, it is extremely prevalent in the vast majority of cases. Be strong, BPD People! You are special, unique, and the world wouldn't be the same without you!
@secaucuss7344
@secaucuss7344 3 жыл бұрын
Dissociation is underrated. It's pretty much a form of addiction. With BPD, not controlled or controllable. "Are you here with me" is not a stupid question to someone who is a friend with BPD.
@human-qp1mf
@human-qp1mf 3 жыл бұрын
My new word is empath. A lot of these people feel EVERYTHING. You have to practice to not take on other people's energy. The trauma is separate. Learning that one thing saved my life. She's smart.
@C-U-IN-H3LL
@C-U-IN-H3LL 3 жыл бұрын
Beautifully put
@KidsWithGuns1992
@KidsWithGuns1992 3 жыл бұрын
@@secaucuss7344 yeah I always wondered why I was never really “here”. 90% I’m not here. And I realised it’s associated with the BPD
@mindy9061
@mindy9061 3 жыл бұрын
So well written!!! I’m saving this! Thankyou🙏
@kahlodiego5299
@kahlodiego5299 3 жыл бұрын
Very few borderlines can afford the kind of treatment they need.
@BorderlinerNotes
@BorderlinerNotes 3 жыл бұрын
We know. So so true and just plain awful. That's why this channel - the little bit we can contribute to trying to democratize some kind of access to quality information.
@kahlodiego5299
@kahlodiego5299 3 жыл бұрын
@@BorderlinerNotes The only reason I ever had periods of wellness is because I lived in NYC in the eighties and attended open AA meetings constantly.
@ctrabon
@ctrabon 3 жыл бұрын
Agree
@realmofoz
@realmofoz 3 жыл бұрын
Yes. I go to the regular therapist because it's really my only option being on disability. Thankfully, I have done a lot of self therapy on my own with DBT and CBT books. Me being at my therapist is like talking to someone I don't really know about all of these issues and they ask me what do you plan to cook for dinner tomorrow.....I'm like WAY out of their level of consciousness it's ridiculous. I've had incidents where they didn't know what to say. Literally for minutes, sitting there awkwardly. No offer of a solution or further progression of exploring why I feel the way I feel. I know more about my disorder than they do 99% of the time. I have a spouse that pretty much doesn't want to talk about anything. Anytime I bring up an issue it's my fault because I am BPD. So I am just suffering in silence and tend to isolate myself just because it's easier than to deal with people and have conflict, only for it to be blamed on me, as if no one else can be to blame. So over time I have become one of the "silent BPD's" which it used to not be that way. I used to be very abusive and destructive at one point in time. No more seeking attention as I have accepted my BPD and worked through a lot of my problems. Me getting attention isn't going to fix the problem. What's been most effective has been "radical acceptance" of what is, however it's made me a little jaded to be honest. I still feel empty and lost. Which I don't think will ever go away. Suicidal but not acting, and there is nothing I can do about it but just feel it. Medication isn't going to fix it. I can say I am medication free, besides taking some sleeping meds and Dramamine for anxiety when I get histrionic. No caffeine, or alcohol either. I think one trait that really didn't fit too much with me is impulsive behavior other than anger. I have an insane amount of self-control when it's not fueled by anger. I was never into self-medicating with drugs, or spending $ (probably because I didn't have $ for either). Supposedly I am Diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar. They couldn't make up their minds because I have traits from both groups, enough to get the diagnosis, plus I was raised by my mother who is Bipolar ( the rest of my moms side is Bipolar, or Schizo) and my stepfather who raised me was from my perspective is a Narcissist with BPD or just a very extreme case of undiagnosed BPD. On top of it I have multiple physical medical issues. So it's been a rough life for me. But it is what it is.
@rose4490
@rose4490 3 жыл бұрын
@@realmofoz I appreciate what you're saying.
@KJ-kv7of
@KJ-kv7of 2 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder after my dad died as well. It triggered the worst time of my life. The way she criticizes herself when she talks about being a better daughter, and she says it's not a judgment it's the truth, I dont think people get that borderlines genuinely believe their critiques of themselves are the truth. And that's why we're capable of causing ourselves so much pain.
@Paulie_Geelie
@Paulie_Geelie 13 күн бұрын
I get why it's something a person needs to be able to let go of, and heal from, so that they won't make the same mistakes again, but she didn't mention how she told her dad to "rot". I don't think it's wrong to acknowledge that she maybe wasn't a good daughter, because you can both have been a bad daughter, and still be worthy of forgiveness. I feel like saying she is being too hard on herself for saying and doing these things to her father would be excusing the bad things she did, and I don't think diminishing bad behaviors is doing anyone any favors. I was on the receiving end of this treatment, my ex would tear into me when she got mad, and no matter how much I apologized, or tried to calm her down, nothing would work, until she finally just tired herself out, and came back down to earth. But by that point she already called me disgusting, worthless, she told me she hated me, she told me she is worse for knowing me, and so much more. And I'm sure you're thinking I had to have done something horrible to prompt such a response, but no. All I did was ask her if she packed her toothbrush. It was late at night, she said she was tired, so I asked her if she had her toothbrush so we can wash up and go to bed. She somehow assumed I was saying her breath was bad, and that I think she's gross, so she got angry, so she tore into me, and in her mind it was entirely justified, because I made her feel bad on purpose. She was not a good girlfriend, and nobody can and should tell her she did her best, or she's being too hard on herself for thinking that. She was awful, I literally lost a patch of hair due to the stress of the relationship. And yes, I care about her, and I want her to heal and move on, and grow, as much as anybody else in the world can want that for someone, but I just can't lie, she was a horrible partner, and I can't forgive her unless she accepts what she did wrong, and make meaningful changes to be better.
@violetcrownskin
@violetcrownskin 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, how is she reading my mind? All I have ever read or heard about BPD is unkind, clinical and hurtful. This is the first instance of BPD portrayal that feels compassionate. I really relate to this woman and it feels like a little bit of a path to healing seeing another person facing the same issues who is also charming and sweet too like how I also identify. Point after point, I felt "same!" Thanks so much for this. We BPD folks need to see this! Wild!
@adatbh
@adatbh 2 жыл бұрын
Yess I said this too in my mind !!!
@allaboutNDIRISH
@allaboutNDIRISH 2 жыл бұрын
they are sweet natured, its the self centeredness that gets the bad rep.
@peaceandhonesty3516
@peaceandhonesty3516 2 жыл бұрын
People with BPD need to be heard and that's not what happens. Also every woman diagnosed should get checked for Autism. I am Autistic I have never been diagnosed with Borderline personality but I think that all too often women will get a Borderline diagnosis where males in general get diagnosed Autistic in spite of similarly presenting.
@marcodallolio9746
@marcodallolio9746 2 жыл бұрын
Psychiatry is not based on compassion. Many psychiatrists are compassionate, but that is despite their discipline, not because of it.
@OliviaRoseMusic
@OliviaRoseMusic 2 жыл бұрын
@@peaceandhonesty3516 that's very true, I see similarities in autism and BPD
@svntn
@svntn 3 жыл бұрын
the way she says sorry for her stomach making noises or for the person coughin, saying she’d feel bad☹️ i understand this so much. i’m starting to realize i say sorry for things that are way out of my control. my mental health is so fucked. i’m scared of getting a diagnosis. i feel like i can’t be honest with anyone because they’d make fun of me. i’m thinking about everyone going thru anything right now. stay strong.
@BorderlinerNotes
@BorderlinerNotes 3 жыл бұрын
I don't know the situation you're in regarding getting made fun of for the diagnosis, and I'm curious why you think people / "anyone" would make fun of you for the diagnosis you might get, but I also think that that's their issue (not yours) and it would be a pity to deprive yourself of a diagnosis that might track you toward the right treatment modalities because of what others think and say.
@dantei.1194
@dantei.1194 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. Kindness doesn't cost and sometimes can make or break someone's entire life. Be kind, save lives.
@svntn
@svntn 3 жыл бұрын
@@BorderlinerNotes in the past, i’ve been diagnosed with MDD and anxiety and i’ve lost people because of it. i’ve lost friends, family members and pretty much my entire safety net. i’ve also been bullied by myself (if that makes any sense?). i’ve been putting myself down so much that i’ve became paranoid and always feel judge. i hate the fact that i’m like this and i can’t figure out why people would wanna stay close to me and over time, i push those people away. i’m scared of getting a BPD diagnosis since the stigma around it is way bigger than for depression and i’ve already lost so much that i can’t imagine losing whatever i have left.
@BorderlinerNotes
@BorderlinerNotes 3 жыл бұрын
Of course, we (who run and operate this channel) are not experts or trained in the treatment of mental health diagnoses, so I would never give any real suggestions that I could empirically stand behind. But your above statement makes me curious to understand your perceptions (people with BPD have problems with perceiving interpersonal dynamics and cues) regarding the actions of the people you are describing and their abandoning you based on a diagnosis. Presuming your perceptions are on-point, it doesn't speak well for them. On the second point, who's to say you need tell ANYONE your diagnosis. It is really intended for you so that you can make decisions on where to go for best help and treatment. I am myself a big-mouth, not good at keeping my own secrets. Maybe this is your fate as well and why keeping a diagnosis mum with those near would prove really hard. Needing to tell, if that is something in you, I get it. Anyway, just my 2 cents based on a very personal (and thus biased) experience of not knowing my diagnosis for WAY TOO LONG. This lack of knowledge that would have helped me categorize myself so I could get the right people on board to help, meant losing years of my life to wrong treatments or only partially correct diagnoses that did not address the core problem. You seem curious about what's going on with yourself, and that's so good, to be curious. So I bow down to your curioisty and hope you ultimately find a way to honor (in your own way) the search it leads you on. That is not easy, btw... it may, in fact, be someone's (or many of our) life's work.
@svntn
@svntn 3 жыл бұрын
@@BorderlinerNotes thank you so much for this. i’m a big mouth myself lol. i’d honestly feel so much relief to finally have a diagnosis that actually fits how i feel, but i know i would want to scream it out loud so everyone knows. i’ve talked with my social worker since i first made that comment and i’m going to meet with a psychiatrist in 3 weeks to start clearing things up. i’m really anxious, but can’t wait to understand why i feel the way i feel a bit better
@chrissilver8461
@chrissilver8461 3 жыл бұрын
People call me selfish when I am triggered and want to self-protect. I know I can be selfish, but calling someone with BPD selfish, seems like a disparaging, invalidating, oversimplification of what is going on in me. Does anyone else feel this?
@shelliejones434
@shelliejones434 3 жыл бұрын
COMPLETELY feel you on that
@goodmorningsundaymorning4533
@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 3 жыл бұрын
Nobody wants to be called selfish. It's not a disorder to not want to be called selfish.
@floor5188
@floor5188 3 жыл бұрын
People shouldn't be calling you selfish. Dealing with triggers is so difficult. I've struggeled a lot with a borderline partner that would be triggered by so many things that the whole relationship was like walking on eggshells. I hope they now have the tools to work better with being triggered, as we didn't knew anything about BPD for the majority of the relationship
@heidiperez3417
@heidiperez3417 3 жыл бұрын
💯
@sarahm6234
@sarahm6234 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely....I have learned that it's almost like self preservation. I spent months and months in hospitals, and IT'S, DBT classes, etc... I finally can recognize when or what "triggers" me. I'm doing very well, minus forgiving myself for being absent during my kids school years and my ex-husband worked overseas chasing the almighty dollar. My kids took the brunt of it. Back on track here (BPD issue for me is I'm all over the board...lol) I can recognize unhealthy situations for me and I can't go back to wanting to be dead. Therefore, I've told people that if I have to excuse myself from somewhere or stop a conversation, it's about me and to not take it personally. It's ok to take care of yourself first.....and you shouldn't apologize or feel guilty to do that. It took me years to understand that. Hang in there!!!!
@marielfalk4537
@marielfalk4537 2 жыл бұрын
I have this disorder and when she said she felt like a turtle without a shell--raw, I started crying. Yes, that is how it feels.
@alayssia1783
@alayssia1783 2 жыл бұрын
Everyone pretending to be psychiatrists in the comments is fucking bold. She’s incredible, don’t watch if you think she’s some kind of spectacle.
@itseemedtoher8053
@itseemedtoher8053 3 жыл бұрын
Really really impressed by this Dr. She's warm but focused; and emotionally detached in a way that demands respect. And when you need help like this, you don't need a friend or a cold clinician. You need someone you can count on to be kind and in control.
@sandrameza1644
@sandrameza1644 3 жыл бұрын
I think we all demand respect. This doctor did not help the client any by minimized the effects of the parent hitting her. Client shared that was the first time she remembers clawing her self and making herself bleed. And the doctor rephrased it as "challenging".
@rennieb_me
@rennieb_me 3 жыл бұрын
@@sandrameza1644 I agree with @itseemedtoher 150% but you make a valid point. In fact, that phrase also struck me when it was said but I put it in perspective I think. Given this singular, initial meeting...under these circumstances (an educationally-driven super deep dive in only an hour with a veteran patient who is candid, knowledgeable, has excellent introspect and emotional intelligence) how many people would have been able to keep up? I don't expect that I would have and only hope to have that degree of conscious-conscientious-presence in my own interactions. She was right there with the patient during all but one of many turns in a very brief but complexed account of her experience. In fact, though she might never see her again, she zeroed in on tools that might help the patient forward for now. Given time, I expect that suitable attention would be given for all aspects of the patient's experiences. I was really impressed at the stealth and efficacy exhibited by the therapist and the self-awareness and transparency of the patient as well.
@EllaWatson
@EllaWatson 3 жыл бұрын
@@sandrameza1644 I agree with @RennieB. I think the purpose of this video was to be educational and to give broad strokes of what borderline personality disorder looks like within 1 hour. I don't think the idea was to really necessarily counsel her a lot as much as educate the world. Also, just for my own experiences with some crazy s***, you want a therapist that is there and present with you but you don't necessarily want one that is freaking out or one that overdramatizes your own drama. I will always appreciate therapist you could talk to me very straightforwardly about the severity of the situation but calmly to let me know it wasn't the end. I've had doctors sort of play down things with terms like "challenging" or "not optimal" or "difficult" but nevertheless conveyed their understanding of the situation through other nonverbal signs. I think this doctor did this is a very classic way, with dipping of the head, flexing of hands, eye contact, etc. especially for what's supposed to be an educational video.
@sandrameza1644
@sandrameza1644 3 жыл бұрын
@@EllaWatson True, I agree with you there. But it might educate us on the subtle but fine art of listening.
@Karen-mu7fq
@Karen-mu7fq 3 жыл бұрын
Agree. I don't think emotional detachment in a clinician demands respect. To me this is a very sad interview based upon pathologizing someone in great pain. The expert looks at the interviewee like she's a specimen. Tabula rasa face is a thing of the past--or it should be, anyway. I don't see this as a strengths based interview.
@inesnevadorego7264
@inesnevadorego7264 2 жыл бұрын
she has been through so much, yet she still seems so kind and caring. it's really nice to see bpd being portrayed in a way that isn't just basically someone yelling that we're all insane. she's super brave for this. wow.
@adatbh
@adatbh 2 жыл бұрын
Omg legit I get called crazy when I have my extreme mood swings it’s really bad
@philphil4042
@philphil4042 Жыл бұрын
This is not bravery, she needs attention.
@rb7500
@rb7500 Жыл бұрын
Part of BPD is abusive behaviour. Of course she seems caring when talking about herself since the disorder comes from extreme lack of received compassion. But what happens when you don't get that extreme compassion, which neurotypicals have no clue how to do, oh boy...abuse and punishment galore.
@TheStarsAlly
@TheStarsAlly Жыл бұрын
@@rb7500 That is not a specific criteria. When that happens to me I self harm, use substances, starve and throw up or do something else reckless. I usually shut off from the person.
@eg7545
@eg7545 Жыл бұрын
@@rb7500 Another uninformed spreading in infactual truths. Abusive behavior as a considered behaviour aligns more with NPD, not BPD. What DOES align with BPD behaviour is self blame, to feel upset/deserved of said experienced lack of compassion, and to harm themself as a result. You evidently are not learned in this disorder or have it yourself, it's another thing to comment as such though. Furthermore, not every individual is the same irrespective of a diagnosis - basic concept which applies to all people in general. Still, even if talking "from experience" of say, an ex gf, does not mean every person with BPD is like your ex gf who you maybe experienced what you consider abusive behaviour from... One shoe doesn't fit all. Hopefully most people can see past ignorant, small minded, generally biased comments like this
@user-dr3rv8sg6b
@user-dr3rv8sg6b 4 ай бұрын
Having a loving, well balanced parent(s) is so vital to raising a healthy, balanced individual for any society.
@spicyhoneymoon32
@spicyhoneymoon32 4 ай бұрын
That is why I always think that many people shall not having kids!!!
@wendybesse90
@wendybesse90 Жыл бұрын
"Its so impossible to put something back together once I've been mad" - true statement when a bpd rages
@MichaelMandis
@MichaelMandis 3 жыл бұрын
I hope she finds her peace.
@etiennemarchione2207
@etiennemarchione2207 3 жыл бұрын
This woman is so brave, so sensitive, kind, and smart. She is doing the hard work she needs to do to beat her demons.
@VeroSCIA
@VeroSCIA 3 жыл бұрын
"beat her demons" how rude.
@christyhoehn8244
@christyhoehn8244 3 жыл бұрын
@@VeroSCIA - why is that rude? Sounds like an apt description to me.
@ronswansonsdog2833
@ronswansonsdog2833 3 жыл бұрын
@@VeroSCIA because why? Weird post.
@MrMakingwavesmedia
@MrMakingwavesmedia 2 жыл бұрын
for fuck sake no this is not bravery. Jesus how is her life in danger here? Who is she saving? You seriously disrespect actual brave people by claiming this. She is honest that's it nothing to do with bravery.
@JasminMarsters
@JasminMarsters 2 жыл бұрын
It’s so hard for people who are this smart and deep-feeling to ever get proper mirroring. That in of itself is traumatic 😔
@diannh2894
@diannh2894 2 жыл бұрын
Right
@michellestelle
@michellestelle 2 жыл бұрын
Or, when they get the incorrect mirroring through verbal abuse, bullying, envy etc.
@gabrieltanguay9695
@gabrieltanguay9695 2 жыл бұрын
The unabashed honesty of this poor, strong woman is commendable. And that doctor - such a beacon of what a mental health professional should be. I appreciate having watched this so much.
@MCP920
@MCP920 3 жыл бұрын
It’s strange watching and listening to her while seeing me. At 61, I can see the progression of my life as if watching a film. There is a wake of destruction and recklessness left behind. It’s quite sad, but at least I can see and acknowledge it. It’s very real.
@sarahm6234
@sarahm6234 3 жыл бұрын
Me too!!!!
@saffloweroyl3663
@saffloweroyl3663 3 жыл бұрын
Every day we've done the best we could, no matter how shite it seems in retrospect.
@lisamartin1966
@lisamartin1966 2 жыл бұрын
I am 61 too!!! I feel like crying all the time. And its not for me its bc everyone goes thru so much pain and animals too. My depression has gotten worse over the years despite lots of ECT prescriptions for 30 years I really just wanted you and Heaven with my mom and dad and my cat and dog I'm so glad you said you were 60 morning feel like everything is over thank you thank you and I do I like this girl so much I really do
@MCP920
@MCP920 2 жыл бұрын
I turned 62 on October 16th. It’s funny receiving your message this morning. I had a doctors appointment today. She asked if I felt depressed and I answered not at all. This is true. I did say I have two 10 year old labradors and a cat that need me. Most people sadly, cannot deal with the chaos of this disorder and at this stage of my life, I’d just as soon not put anyone else through it. I’m loving life with my pets. Once they’re gone, maybe I’ll feel lonely. Hang in there. You’re not alone. ♥️
@simonkendra3079
@simonkendra3079 4 ай бұрын
But you made it to 61. Kudos. I’m 30 and I’m honestly out of juice.
@brendamertes9472
@brendamertes9472 3 жыл бұрын
"To have the family I never had. It's just a reminder that I don't have those things" was so, so relevant :( On another note though, this entire interview is better than any award winning film ever.
@digitalmoonbooks
@digitalmoonbooks 2 жыл бұрын
Raw and real.
@bargepoled
@bargepoled 2 жыл бұрын
My partner of 15 years has BPD. Her father killed himself when she was 16. He was an alcoholic. One morning they had an argument where she told him he was destroying the family. She went to school and came back at lunch time to find him dead in the garage. He had asphyxiated himself. She found him. Obviously she blamed herself. Her mother is quite a cold person. Never hugged her. Never told her she was proud of her for anything. She went completely off the rails. No one at school, no teachers or friends asked her if she was OK. She had no support from anyone. She went through life thinking she had a perfect childhood. 20 years later we met. One day we were watching a film called Arizona dreaming. It stars Johnny Depp and its about his character falling in love with a lady who clearly has BPD. Half way through my partner burst in to tears as she recognised she was the lady in the film. She had never been diagnosed with BPD, hadn't even heard of it but everything rang true. Our relationship up to that point had been extremely volatile. It was like living on a roller-coaster 24/7/365. She had extreme mood swings. She had an alcohol problem. She was violent. She hurt herself. I was at the end of my tether. We would argue about the smallest things. She would ask me to leave in extreme rage. I didn't know why. I left then she would ask why I was abandoning her. It was impossible. I never knew where I was. Eventually she checked herself in to a residential clinic. She said it was either that or she would kill herself. She stayed in the clinic for 6 months doing all kinds of different therapy. Gradually she learnt how to handle her BPD. We are still together today. I guess my message is 2 fold. If you have BPD I urge you to get real psychiatric help as soon as you can. It can be treated and you can live a normal life. If you are a partner of someone who has BPD don't give up on them, even if every bone in your body is telling you to walk away please don't. They can and will harm themselves and other people (and maybe kill themselves) but what they do is never because they don't love you. They don't know themselves. Help them get help. It's a long road you have to walk together. ❤️🙏
@BambiBooS222
@BambiBooS222 2 жыл бұрын
You sound amazing ... Sending you both love & hugs ❤️
@janaj2748
@janaj2748 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing. My mom was/is the same. She sheltered me up until I was about 6. I remember being with her 24/7. She told me she loved me all day and night, and always made sure I was okay. After that she turned ice cold. She stopped telling me she loved me, she stopped hugging me, she never told me she was proud of me for anything, and never showed up for any of my extracurricular school activities. She was like a completely different person. I couldn’t even remember the last time she told me she loved me; until I was in the hospital 6 months ago. She called to check on me, and before we hung up; she told me she loved me. She hasn’t since, and probably never will again; I’ve just learned to live with her character. My daughter is 10, and I never miss the opportunity to hug her and tell her how much I love her. I tell her so much, it probably gets on her nerves, lol. I adore her more than anything in the world and I’ll never switch up on her. I have no idea why my mom changed, and it used to really bother me; but I think becoming a mom myself has helped me heal.
@DavidP793
@DavidP793 2 жыл бұрын
Lol, the author of this text has narcissistic personality disorder.
@dickmonkey-king1271
@dickmonkey-king1271 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah this is nice until they accuse you of rape.
@Lee-iq7wg
@Lee-iq7wg 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this
@Savvynomad225
@Savvynomad225 Жыл бұрын
My daughter has diagnosed BPD. Her mom and I were married but it ended when she was 16 months old, I left because I could no longer deal with the abuse I was taking from my ex, which was a constant roller coaster and so toxic. I left because I felt like it was all my fault that things were toxic, and I wanted my daughter to have a life without parents constantly bickering and arguing. My daughter is now 18 years old, and long story short, she was used as a pawn to manipulate and torture me and ultimately was alienated from me via multiple maneuvers from not being able to mention anything about me in mom's house, to only referring to me by my first name, absolutely not as "dad"... No matter what I did, I was horrible and evil and dangerous within the stories that were told. This must have been confusing because every time we had visitations, it was stable and unchaotic, we made good memories and got along well. The hardest reality for me is that my ex used the family court system to her advantage and there were multiple times I had police showing up at my house based on completely false accusations, etc. I had periods where I didn't see my daughter for months at a time, all communications were cut off and police were used as the middle man, to inform me that I'm not to text or call my daughter's mom because asking about visitation schedules was me being abusive. I spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on attorney fees and court orders to try and fix it because I had no other way. I had no support, I couldn't make any changes to the situation, but had to learn to accept that the system will do nothing to alleviate the way a parent will use their child as a weapon against the other parent. This, in my view, caused the BPD. It was mentally and emotionally abusive. My daughter is a beautiful person who deserves so much in life, success, love, peace and stability. I want so much to facilitate these things for her life and to help her see that life isn't traumatic and that dad always cared and has always been on her side and never meant for things to be chaotic. I've never been allowed, I've always been painted as the monster. Like this lady in the interview, this BPD damage is long term, and one can't just snap out of it... It'll take patience and work. Sadly, my only way to provide positivity is to be there, but maintain my boundaries because my daughter, like many with this horrible disorder, boundaries are the biggest weakness and if you let your boundaries down, you'll fall into the trap as well and that helps nobody.
@sambur6480
@sambur6480 Жыл бұрын
Be careful who you get pregnant
@HillbillyYEEHAA
@HillbillyYEEHAA 11 ай бұрын
​@@sambur6480people with bpd mask well. They'll love bomb you too. So you think you've found someone who worships the ground you walk on when in reality, there l they're love bombing you . It's easier said than done.
@blueduck9409
@blueduck9409 11 ай бұрын
You are not alone. The courts and legal system in the usa is very unjust, law enforcement is often equally ineffective. The entire system is evil. Jesus is the only real peace and relief anybody can get in life. The system wont stay corrupt forever, and evil ex wives will answer to God one day.
@blueduck9409
@blueduck9409 11 ай бұрын
@@sambur6480 FOR REAL.
@eileenhetherington3704
@eileenhetherington3704 11 ай бұрын
A therapist during an intake has to be very careful not to have a vocabulary which can trigger a patient. The therapist brings up her patient's "avoidance" as a coping mechanism in the first session. This is not helpful, not present, and shows that the therapist is not practicing deep listening. She is in her head, processing data, rather than being a witness.
@bw6148
@bw6148 2 жыл бұрын
I recognize that tiredness in her eyes. I hope she can accept how worthy she is and retire overthinking.
@sandrameza1644
@sandrameza1644 3 жыл бұрын
Did anybody else hear she was traumatized by parent hitting her, when she started hurting herself ? The effects of trauma make for coping mechanisms that separated us from our true value.
@sandrameza1644
@sandrameza1644 3 жыл бұрын
When we have restrictions or limiting factors of trauma, we are not at our best authentic self. That's when we feel we are not good enough because we sense we know better but didn't do better. We naturally blame ourselves but we are not functioning as freely as trauma has lasting effects into cognition and function abilities.
@rose4490
@rose4490 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, I heard, because my mother is my abuser.
@sandrameza1644
@sandrameza1644 3 жыл бұрын
@@rose4490 The reason I think its important to recognize early childhood trauma, is because it is so important for a real therapeutic interaction to occur. I'm sure we don't want to just view what a person looks like or how they present without understanding what the person is saying. When the doctor changed the words to her feedback, there was a divided integration between the interaction. Such subtle things can have a huge effect on an already vulnerable client. Unbelieved.
@ladydianacamargo6787
@ladydianacamargo6787 3 жыл бұрын
Hittting can be used as discipline or trauma , this depends on the relationship between child and parent along with the execution. I think being disciplined is the goal.
@mscarolynnigro
@mscarolynnigro 3 жыл бұрын
My mother's default emotion when she couldn't understand me was rage
@garrettmathews3901
@garrettmathews3901 2 жыл бұрын
Huge thanks to this woman for being so open and vulnerable on such a huge platform to help people really understand what BPD can look like and come from. All the best to her
@MrMakingwavesmedia
@MrMakingwavesmedia 2 жыл бұрын
You are born with it nothing causes it and people who keep blaming it on other's never overcome it.
@garrettmathews3901
@garrettmathews3901 2 жыл бұрын
@@MrMakingwavesmedia well ok, you definitely CAN be born with it, but I don’t think we know enough about psychology to definitively say that that’s the only way it comes around. Mayo Clinic says that childhood trauma (which I’m sure she has plenty of) as well as changes in the brain throughout life (which may or may not be genetic) are also possible factors in developing a disorder like this. I think ultimately it’s just important to be supportive, and telling people that they’ll never get over something like this doesn’t seem like a great approach.
@erictim9052
@erictim9052 Жыл бұрын
@@MrMakingwavesmedia lol good on you
@alx383d
@alx383d 5 ай бұрын
jesus, you aren't born with it, stop it , you might have some predispositions to it, but this doesn't mean you will automatically be bpd. Stop spreading this fake assumption.@@MrMakingwavesmedia
@alx383d
@alx383d 5 ай бұрын
you seems to have a fixation with this, might be a trauma..@@MrMakingwavesmedia
@Mandy3141
@Mandy3141 Жыл бұрын
I want to thank this woman for being honest and vulnerable in front of us.
@ZFern9390
@ZFern9390 4 ай бұрын
Yeah she made me very curious about her age. How she is so genuinely sweet and an open book yet she looks so tired and I recall this characteristic in myself in my teens and late twenties until I wore down by a bad marriage and a bit more trauma added on top of my mother's violent abuse as I was growing up. In my 40s and 50 hahah I'm probably not as sweet probably certainly not an open book about myself anymore. Her tired appearance is really such a mirror of myself at that age. I figure she's about 29 going on 59 .
@heidiedwards6951
@heidiedwards6951 3 жыл бұрын
Grief is something western culture really misses the mark on addressing. This is grief! I’ve seen it in my family. Grief is an ugly emotion that we need to address and come together as a community. We are not a community. We need community.
@toyotasupra97
@toyotasupra97 2 жыл бұрын
Yes you’re expected to get over it quickly and get back to capitalist production and pretending everything is fine all the time.
@Zoomo2697
@Zoomo2697 2 жыл бұрын
“God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
@76adrienne
@76adrienne 2 жыл бұрын
We sweep it under the rug. Emotions others don’t understand, get the broom. Feelings you can’t explain? Get the broom
@Wilshare
@Wilshare 2 жыл бұрын
AGREE....AND FEELING SAFE...SAFE ENOUGH TO BE HEARD...GOOD INSITE HEIDI
@Zoomo2697
@Zoomo2697 2 жыл бұрын
@@Wilshare “All our anxieties relate to time. The major problems of psychiatry revolve around an analysis of the despair, pessimism, melancholy, and complexes that are the inheritances of what has been or with the fears, anxieties, worries, that are the imaginings of what will be.” Fulton J sheen :)
@mysticskexis7459
@mysticskexis7459 3 жыл бұрын
"I don't think I'm being hard on myself; I think I'm just being honest." I have said that to myself and explained it to others over and over again. Letting myself off-the-hook just hasn't been an option. I know the pain this woman is living with. Just raw.
@BackFromTheBorderline
@BackFromTheBorderline 3 жыл бұрын
This. So much this. Sending you love and support my friend.
@cascadehopsrule
@cascadehopsrule 2 жыл бұрын
Gotta release the trapped emotions, it's not easy and takes work and time
@LDrosophila
@LDrosophila 2 жыл бұрын
I felt that when she said she couldnt be in social situations without alcohol
@user-jo9bt4gu5r
@user-jo9bt4gu5r 4 ай бұрын
Probably social anxiety. JazzyT.
@frankydottir8762
@frankydottir8762 2 жыл бұрын
When parents fail to meet child's needs, child does not stop loving them. He stops loving himself. When you stop loving yourself, you are destructive towards yourself.
@redcapsue
@redcapsue 2 жыл бұрын
Bpd is like being set on fire and then being asked to function normally while you are on fire. I relate to the turtle without a shell
@sarahmoore1014
@sarahmoore1014 2 жыл бұрын
Perfectly worded.
@user-jo9bt4gu5r
@user-jo9bt4gu5r 4 ай бұрын
The turtles without a shell,Janis Joplin and Amy Winehouse,they are classified as Borderline's.Someone wrote on Quora, that Britney Spears is their favourite Borderline.Dr Jay Reid has good videos about the Scapegoat child. JazzyT, Scapegoat of two Narc's.
@mayechilde2
@mayechilde2 3 ай бұрын
*and being blamed and criticized for being on fire all the while
@sarahfellows3074
@sarahfellows3074 3 жыл бұрын
I think everyone should pat themselves on the back for getting out in the morning or doing anything! 😊
@miriamschiro8585
@miriamschiro8585 3 жыл бұрын
I do because that’s unusual for me being that I’m an introvert
@wordswordswords8203
@wordswordswords8203 3 жыл бұрын
me too. very good statement.
@buebitohonguito4061
@buebitohonguito4061 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏🏼
@brendaharrison8175
@brendaharrison8175 3 жыл бұрын
I Thank God Every morning that he allows me to open my eyes this side of the earth 🌍! Allowing myself to pat myself on the back is and added blessing and yes you are soooo correct we should all be positive to ourselves. Self care is important and a lot of self care actually starts with small notions, just like patting ourselves on the back.
@jazmin6031
@jazmin6031 3 жыл бұрын
I work and my borderline is a heavy blackberry
@miagonzo5522
@miagonzo5522 Жыл бұрын
her wanting what people have in movies and tv shows is such a real thing. i grew up trying to escape and live through those people and i would idolize and fantasize about it and i knew, logically, it wasn't real but i would get so upset bc, why not?? why can't it be real?
@faustopf-.
@faustopf-. 11 ай бұрын
This is extremely sad, I really feel for her. Your regret of not leaving your mom as soon as posible just made a huge click in my mind. I'm already in this process. Thank you so much for all your wisdom, and I really hope you're doing well
@ZFern9390
@ZFern9390 4 ай бұрын
I recall feeling at 13 , 14 and up, " I gotta get outta this house" I knew I had to get a job at 15 and save enough money to get the hell out or something would go sideways and someone is going to get really hurt or end up dead under my mom's violent rage and unadulterated stupidity.
@ontheborderline2012
@ontheborderline2012 3 жыл бұрын
Cutting pain washes away the mental pain of hating yourself. It takes away loathing and the want for death. It's a way to cope and remain alive another day.
@EllaWatson
@EllaWatson 3 жыл бұрын
That makes sense. It's like a self harm to replace the emotional torture? An excise of energy? And the deep logic being that any cut will heal faster than the emotional trauma could hope to?
@ontheborderline2012
@ontheborderline2012 3 жыл бұрын
@@EllaWatson The intense physical pain causes my mental anguish to ease. Mental anguish is much worse than self harm to me because it's an itch you can't scratch when I can't find peace. Looping in your mind like a film on repeat to enjoy over and over. I really don't care about healing, pain or the the shame of self harming until I am calm again. Then I deal with it. The pain, the guilt and shame. Then you sleep from the emotional fallout. Painful way to live trust me. I haven't self harmed in 4 months but I have been suicidal which is usually when I do hurt myself usually. That for me is a win. A small one but they all count for us.
@tonidavis5743
@tonidavis5743 3 жыл бұрын
When you have so much self loathing and blame yourself for everything many times I wish so could separate myself into 2 and take a baseball bat and just beat the shit out of the half Some cut theirselves some of us hit and slap and use things to hit ourselves She is brave to do this interview
@Samwise_92
@Samwise_92 3 жыл бұрын
It makes my mind focus on something other than my mind and thoughts
@stephr2920
@stephr2920 3 жыл бұрын
Cutting for me was a way to remind myself I am alive. Being everyone's rock and not allowed to feel, I became numb. I was just a shell. Cutting and seeing life trickle out gave me reassurance.
@janetlee6207
@janetlee6207 2 жыл бұрын
I relate to so much of this... the drinking, daydreaming about if I had done things differently. You can see how much pain she's dealt with, but at the same time, she seems so self-aware, intelligent, witty, and empathetic. BPDs are complex, sensitive, maybe a lot sometimes... but so special.
@adatbh
@adatbh 2 жыл бұрын
Yess this is me with bpd I relate to her so much I can’t express emotions normal
@marleneg7794
@marleneg7794 2 жыл бұрын
Intelligence isn't a prerequisite for BPD.. but they seem to go hand and hand
@BrObstreperous
@BrObstreperous 2 жыл бұрын
BPDs are boring when you see through their scripted behaviors. Practicing behavior extinction on them can be fun, though!
@HomeAtLast501
@HomeAtLast501 2 жыл бұрын
And don't forget those all-important OTHER PEOPLE in their lives --- they are a living fricking hell for us.
@BrObstreperous
@BrObstreperous 2 жыл бұрын
@FlyingMonkies325 If you enable their demons, you're part of the problem.
@ermo5623
@ermo5623 Жыл бұрын
I could watch/listen to Charlotte all day. She’s so real and genuine. She knows that sometimes all you can do is laugh at yourself. I love how she sees through a lot of the hokey therapy talk, but is still open to exploring ideas and learning. I find her really interesting & I hope she continues to feel better.
@smack7589
@smack7589 Жыл бұрын
I can relate to her just watching her speak. We’re hurting but still sweet and charming to the person in front of us. We see ourselves in relation to others. That’s why we ruminate so much on the abuse we experienced, and then the painful relationships we got into that further hurt us. She rationalises the drinking because her life experience tells her it’s fun and her dad drank and he was the better parent, she even speaks about it with a more comfortable language because she clearly has learned to depend on it. Borderlines hold very strong internal principles that are not always right but we hold onto it. I’m learning to own the painful parts of myself as a true part of myself. Seeing it as part of me and to stop waiting for an apology and acknowledgment from the abuser. All we can do is love ourselves better, as difficult as that is when you were always taught to hate and criticise yourself 🌺
@lj9524
@lj9524 3 жыл бұрын
My heart goes out to this young, brave, tortured soul. I can feel her pain. For those of us who weren’t nurtured as children suffer our entire lives. We also don’t have children because we have such bad memories from our childhood we are afraid to pass it on to children of our own. This is so sad.....
@louistulloch1159
@louistulloch1159 3 жыл бұрын
...healing is possible.
@xxx-su2ty
@xxx-su2ty 2 жыл бұрын
Same, I want a child so bad but feel like I can’t allow myself to repeat the cycle.
@peterbaker1879
@peterbaker1879 2 жыл бұрын
I have BPD, and as an adolescent thought I should never get married or have kids because they would be messed up like me...I had a couple of teenage suicide attempts cause I couldnt cope with the pain of living...I was constantly berated by my parents...nothing I did was ever right, or good enough...I still think poorly of myself at age 61, and never have been married or had any children..
@lotuswolf1518
@lotuswolf1518 2 жыл бұрын
My life Narcisitic toxic parents
@queenbee3647
@queenbee3647 2 жыл бұрын
My mom loved to see how abusive she could be with everyone! Neighbors, friends, kids, her family. Nurture wasnt in her nature yet she had five kids. I desperately wanted kids but was infertile for 13 years. I finally shocked the doctors and had my daughter! I adore her. I NEVER asked my mother for her help or advice. I thought what should you do since you love her more than anyone or I would do the opposite of what my mom would do. It worked. She and I are extremely close. Im her rock. Im bragging on her but shes pretty, intelligent, accomplished, has two degrees, has a great job. Im so proud of her!
@Krnflakgrl71
@Krnflakgrl71 2 жыл бұрын
She is so self aware. It was difficult to watch her be so hard on herself, and I certainly see a lot of myself in her. I wish I could find a therapist that is this wonderful. This is a really great idea- and extremely helpful to people to be able to witness this and draw correlations to their own behavior.
@cascadehopsrule
@cascadehopsrule 2 жыл бұрын
Honest question, what was so great about this therapist.
@Krnflakgrl71
@Krnflakgrl71 2 жыл бұрын
@@cascadehopsrule She actually brings the patient out of herself and gets her to look at her behavior objectively. You’d think that most therapists would do this as a basic tenet of psychoanalysis, but, in my experience at least, few do.
@rickspalding3047
@rickspalding3047 2 жыл бұрын
@@Krnflakgrl71 this is why I have yet to ever go to therapy, it appears most of them are trash. I'm undiagnosed but I would say I'm 42 with cptsd with some overlapping bpd symptoms, I'm going to see if I can setup an edmr appointment, I've been trying to do some trauma release and I took a huge step yesterday. The lady in this video still has absolute rage against her mother and I didn't see the therapist working on healing that whatsoever
@tinkletink1403
@tinkletink1403 10 ай бұрын
how can she be self aware without a self?
@summerbreeze5360
@summerbreeze5360 6 ай бұрын
​@@tinkletink1403people with BPD have a self and sense of self it just more damaged than that of your average person, so they need piles of work
@choppatool
@choppatool Жыл бұрын
I love how she uses humour to process these things.
@dbsabo2
@dbsabo2 Жыл бұрын
It's how us folks deal sometimes. Sometimes it's just clownish and other times dark humor.
@rogueshewolf6844
@rogueshewolf6844 Жыл бұрын
Us
@randallcauley9484
@randallcauley9484 4 ай бұрын
The phases. The shifts, short dissociation, difficulty locating self in one position, no solid ground, no clear commitment to momentary perspective. The dissociation and dissembling as standard form communication style. The pauses, redirection, and lack of clarity as if both the speaker and (assumed) listener are bilocated. It's like ongoing fails / misfires of echo location. I feel like I'm being taken down a trick trail in the woods, going nowhere (or nowhere good), and we're going to get lost. Even the use of facts (dates, perspective, temporary lens or take) feels organized to deflect. Thank you for sharing. Being on the receiving end during a five year relationship, going through 7-8 therapists (after 7-9 sessions or so, when accountability or traction would begin, rapport and then getting down to work, once the tangled webs and contradictions kicked in, there was no commitment to creating safety plan or developing trust, no illusion of progress), and many, many bizarre self-defeating behaviors and episodes, and intermittent abuse, the writing was on the wall for me. Without a clear diagnosis, with the ongoing resistance to therapy or transparency (lots of resentment and repeat), and lots of what I experienced as "always lying," I realized there was not going to be growth in relationship. There was, intermittently, cyclically, a lot of "crazy-making" and lying (a false police report because she couldn't find her driver license, so she staged a break-in, hid items from the car to fake the robbery, so she could use the police report to fly; she did all of that instead of just locating her license). One example of dozens every three months. Completely exhausting trying to keep track. Still, it's fascinating. And I'm curious how well she managed to "keep it together" long enough to get married, then was honest / truthful (tactically at least) long enough to "course correct" and keep me involved in supporting (day job, housework, childcare all fell on me). I never could make heads or tails of the abuse she claimed she got from her adoptive mother, or whether, as her father assured me, that there was no abuse, no physical altercations toward her. As a teenager, she hopped the rails (her story) and ran away from home for 6 months on two occasions, was "sent to camp" in Utah, struggled. She had an idyllic idea of how her family should have been, but seemed unable / unwilling to engage in healthy behaviors (including the boundaries that survivors typically have to learn). She seemed constantly distracted by "what was going on" at any given moment (stomach aches, itches, twitches, seemed to provide endless deflection and distraction for certain topics). Lots of conclusions and judgments without being able to articulate the process. Wow! This has brought back so much.
@lisaeischens2352
@lisaeischens2352 3 жыл бұрын
This woman seems like such a sweetheart who’s very hard on herself even though she’s perfectly lovely and also very intelligent as well.
@donlubin2463
@donlubin2463 3 жыл бұрын
Sadly that’s the way we are with BPD
@doreenplischke7645
@doreenplischke7645 3 жыл бұрын
We never show ‘real’ ppl who suffer from Borderline in such aspect...vulnerable. It is a very complex phenomenon. I believe it is so helpful to show this because of the invaluable information it holds. The stigma is sooo strong. And very crude. Thanks for making a difference.
@brandihillcom
@brandihillcom 3 жыл бұрын
This girl is a true trailblazer to put herself out theee like this. So brave. Wow. 🙏🥰
@williegates627
@williegates627 3 жыл бұрын
BPDers WANT the attention. The DSM states this explicitly. The interviewee plays a part for attention, and obviously gets it. There's nothing wrong with that in that it is a symptom of the disease. But it's not bravery. It's a symptom that, if she was well, she would feel like we all do about doing this type of thing. It's not bravery at all.
@MJ95630
@MJ95630 3 жыл бұрын
@@williegates627 Interesting. Thank you for that.
@SassySW
@SassySW 3 жыл бұрын
I thought the exact same thing, the first few minutes into the video. Once I realized this person is an actual person reliving this experience (not an actor) it’s absolutely BRAVE. So grateful for her sharing this with us❤️💙💜💚
@exovit6348
@exovit6348 3 жыл бұрын
@@williegates627 thats not true. I have BPD. not true at all. Youre thinking of Histrionic
@JayJasperLondon
@JayJasperLondon 3 жыл бұрын
Wait.. This sounds like a script, I don’t think it’s an actual real life interview
@realestateandvibes
@realestateandvibes Жыл бұрын
Woah PwBPD here. I could guess her responses like I was there. She sounds just like me and why I struggle with therapist. This isn't her 1st time with this doctor but I have the same energy, am well spoken, and my mannerisms lead each one to think "she's not that bad" when I'm on the inside doing circles and needing them to ask me more direct probing questions like this. I learned over the years all psychiatrist and therapist are sooo not created equally. Keep going until you find one that speaks to all of the yous inside. Great video!!
@cameronreeder9609
@cameronreeder9609 Жыл бұрын
I’ve never met or seen someone in the world I relate to more than her. I hope she feels so much peace in her life soon.
@brielleanyez7113
@brielleanyez7113 3 жыл бұрын
I wish to God there was Free treatment for borderlines! My ex of 7 years was one and unless you've seen it up close, there are no words. These people suffer so much it's insane. Its heartbreaking.
@chiefinspector7280
@chiefinspector7280 2 жыл бұрын
yeah but they make you suffer more!!
@colywogable
@colywogable 2 жыл бұрын
@@chiefinspector7280 They're sadistic.
@MrMakingwavesmedia
@MrMakingwavesmedia 2 жыл бұрын
There is it's called taking responsibility for yourself.
@paige99
@paige99 3 жыл бұрын
As someone with BPD myself, it's kind of relieving to hear someone think the way I think. She thinks of her mental health and traumas so logically and compartmentalized. It's clear she's been over it all and analysed it. And I always felt alone in this. That aha moment when the psych compared cutting to alcoholism. Showing her that sometimes it doesn't all fit neatly in individual boxes. I love those aha moments in therapy. Really really enjoyed this interview. Has been incredibly revealing, insightful and helpful. Thank you both for sharing.
@peaceandhonesty3516
@peaceandhonesty3516 2 жыл бұрын
Research ASD!
@adrianaguernica5761
@adrianaguernica5761 Жыл бұрын
When she said how the holidays are so hard for her - I relate to that so much. I feel like I always have a BPD episode on every holiday and It’s so hard living like this
@lavenderfae8585
@lavenderfae8585 Жыл бұрын
I've never been diagnosed as having BPD but I honestly feel that I have had this all my life. I see the pattern to my whole life. I'm 55 now and have a mental health appointment tomorrow. I'm hopeful to finally get the help and support I need.
@melindaunknown6411
@melindaunknown6411 11 ай бұрын
I hope therapy is going well for you. ❤️
@lavenderfae8585
@lavenderfae8585 11 ай бұрын
@melindaunknown6411 thank you but I've not had any yet. My appointment letter was sent to the wrong address and they don't rush these things.
@suju3056
@suju3056 10 ай бұрын
Every mental illness has a pattern
@d3s3rthoax69
@d3s3rthoax69 3 ай бұрын
Hope you finally got the help you need.
@catherinepatterson4720
@catherinepatterson4720 3 жыл бұрын
The client, bless her, has a ‘mother wound’. The impact a narcissistic mother has on a daughter (or a son) is life long. When she said that she could have been there for her father, the answer is yes she could have been, but she wasn’t and this is likely because she was probably trying to cope with her own issues. How can we be there for others when we’re not there for ourselves. I bet her mother’s mother (grandmother) wasn’t so nice to her mother either. I heard somewhere on KZfaq that mother-daughter disconnect can be generational, up to seven generations. I felt for this client, but she is resilient, you can hear it in her words such as wanting to know ‘why’ to things and reflecting on things. I hope this client rises above her trauma, reads up lots and lots on mother-daughter relationships and re-mother’s herself. And maybe one day she can help/support other women who are daughters of narcissistic mother’s. There is such a need for this in our society.
@jobunny919
@jobunny919 3 жыл бұрын
Any parent relationship has a life long impact but you made it sound like a life long curse. People with shitty parents aren’t cursed. I would know.
@catherinepatterson4720
@catherinepatterson4720 3 жыл бұрын
@@jobunny919 I didn’t think of it in this term, but this is a good adjective. I suppose it is a curse - generational mother-daughter disconnect. And thankfully curses can be broken. But only if the next generation of daughters take the responsibility and say enough is enough. I started my journey by picking up one book. Now I have a bookshelf on the mother-daughter relationship. My relationship with my mother is no where healed. In fact, since I said enough is enough I feel it’s worse. That’s how complex the relationship is. My mother’s expectations of me growing up were low, but my strength and resilience proved to her otherwise. It drove me at times, to prove her wrong. So yes, people with toxic parents aren’t always cursed, but on a deeper unconscious level they are, because emotional reactions can come out of no where, as a result of poor attachment. Re-mothering is a step towards healing, which for me has been quite challenging. Anyway, our journeys are as individual as we are, so I’ll leave it here. God bless🌻
@tonibauer2405
@tonibauer2405 2 жыл бұрын
My maternal grandmother was sweet, loving, kind, patient, and a good mother. Unfortunately, my mother wanted to please her strict, very old fashioned, grandfather, who had very strong opinions on the one and only right way to do things. She modeled herself after him and sought his approval long after the death of her mother at just age 49. It did nothing to enhance her motherhood and made her unable to be introspective or take responsibility for her own failings. But I never had children and am so glad. I just know the parts of my mother that were most toxic would have arisen and damaged my children, and I could never forgive myself for that.
@Rinayplays
@Rinayplays 2 жыл бұрын
@@catherinepatterson4720 My eldest daughter is 17. I felt resentment toward her for a long time. Through therapy I learned that I am both jealous of her, and frustrated at how much she reminds me of myself. I'm sure I have harmed her in her childhood, and I make every effort to repair our relationship now. I also feel like I have been a much better mother to my younger daughters. (Something I'm sure my eldest will have to heal from as well).
@toyotasupra97
@toyotasupra97 2 жыл бұрын
@@Rinayplays forgive yourself and keep trying. She will appreciate it someday, even if not now. I wish my mother would do this and reach out, I’m 35 and she never calls me and doesn’t ask me about my life or how it’s going. Your small efforts are better than nothing at all.
@xiomanaxoxoxo3212
@xiomanaxoxoxo3212 3 жыл бұрын
It’s pretty normal to dig your nails into your skin when your primary care giver is disfunctioning it’s a way of coping with the trauma of this out of control person who’s supposed to be nurturing you . Many people fail at their roles but a mother , can completely ruin you when she fails . The strength of fortitude you need to be outside of yourself and to protect yourself is enormous , since it seems no one is coming to the rescue .
@Jess-kn8vl
@Jess-kn8vl 3 жыл бұрын
This reminds of when I was in high school, I was at work and breifly talked to my abusive ex boyfriend on the phone. When I went to the bathroom after I had scratch marks from my throat down to my chest. I had done it while talking to him without even realizing it.
@mscarolynnigro
@mscarolynnigro 3 жыл бұрын
I completely agree
@jenneyryan1083
@jenneyryan1083 3 жыл бұрын
Never allow anyone to physically or mentally abuse you. No human has that right to hurt others.😱
@growoldwithme5733
@growoldwithme5733 3 жыл бұрын
Yup, I did it as well. Became a habit. It was my only way of responding to the trauma to avoid emotional shut down. (Not feeling anything after the incident.)
@palmbalm
@palmbalm 3 жыл бұрын
its not normal. dont say that
@Gene-XL
@Gene-XL Жыл бұрын
Wow! When she says she would scream: “why was I born?” I am in that phase right now… (I know it’s not a mere “phase”, I just don’t know how else to say it.)
@amandafrancis2988
@amandafrancis2988 2 жыл бұрын
I see myself in her. I’m a senior in high school right now and I’m terrified to grow up like this, I don’t want to end up in that position. It’s actually SUCH an amazing accomplishment that she got to this place, it’s a lonely and tough road so kudos to her for making it.
@annalizevermaak1594
@annalizevermaak1594 2 жыл бұрын
Amanda! I wish this will help. Please be gentle with yourself! I also struggle, but I am 60. Please be careful and get support! ❤️
@RobbieNewell
@RobbieNewell 11 ай бұрын
Get whatever resources services you can welfare food stamps section 8 no shame bc if you have family that undermine you or no stable relationships with them you will need to be your safe space and create your safe space and have your safe space.
@jillsutton1624
@jillsutton1624 3 жыл бұрын
shes right, cutting releases chemicals in ur brain that make u feel “happy”. not even the happy u want, but just the kind of happy u feel when u dont feel so painfully depressed for a single moment. its addicting just as alcohol or drugs can be.
@cosmicdissonance9888
@cosmicdissonance9888 3 жыл бұрын
for me it was for the chronic emptiness but also the overwhelming, penetrating emotional trauma :/
@anniejane255
@anniejane255 3 жыл бұрын
why would your brain reward you for cutting yourself?
@gabrisage6477
@gabrisage6477 2 жыл бұрын
I only cut when i was on the 4th time dping cocaine. The come down was too intense and i kept remembering the abandonment
@gabrisage6477
@gabrisage6477 2 жыл бұрын
But now its just me maladaptive daydreaming and driving to music on auto pilot - (ive been sober ) but i love music while driving it just helps or during the day, go to the park and just eat a good meal and taking a walk
@BTphosheezy
@BTphosheezy 2 жыл бұрын
My psychiatrist even said he doesn't treat people with BPD because it's just too much. At least there are people out here ready to help with this. I deal with this with my daughter's mother. My goodness the nights that I'd listen to her lose her shit on me for hours and then fall asleep in the middle of cussing me out. Call me the most horrible things and even attacking my own mental health to telling me to never speak to her again. Only to wake up to a message with her apologizing and wish she could take back what she said. But then other times she'd go smooth off for days at a time. The damage is done and I now have anxiety every time I see her call my phone.
@thechronicnoizeco.6675
@thechronicnoizeco.6675 2 жыл бұрын
It’s such a relief when the holidays are over.
@sandraferreira428
@sandraferreira428 7 ай бұрын
Oh my, I'm diagnosed as a quiet borderline, and seriously, it's like we're both reading from the same script. It is literally giving me chills
@vickitri5712
@vickitri5712 3 жыл бұрын
This is heart breaking. How this gal has suffered from traumatic experiences in her childhood. Most likely raised by parents that had their own wounding and were not able to meet her emotional needs starting from birth. This is someone who cannot get themselves together even though they desperately want too. So many unmet needs at a young age contributes to these types of problems that she faces. Those wounds are so raw to the soul.. it’s hard to function. Bless her heart.
@ginpye2002
@ginpye2002 3 жыл бұрын
Dr. Jacob is such a great example of what a therapist should be like. I really enjoyed seeing the process and I appreciate how vulnerable the client was. This is therapy in real life. No cliches or stereotypes... Just real.
@deejamieson
@deejamieson 3 ай бұрын
One thing struck me harder than most in this interview, and that is when Charlotte briefly talks about her handwriting changing. Woah! That hit home. I have never heard anyone else talk about it.
@amypie11
@amypie11 2 жыл бұрын
Literally sat through this nodding my head the whole time. Incredibly honest and for me, so relatable. Thank you!
@TP-nx7uf
@TP-nx7uf 3 жыл бұрын
It hit home when she said that she thought her mother shouldn't have children because she didn't realise there was something to nurture. My mother has two cluster B personality disorders, and althought she had her good moments, she was very irresponsible. She didn't act like a mother at all, it was like she had us to keep her company and care for her. She even said it to me once "I always wanted children because I didn't want to be alone." There was always a massive boundary issue, manipulation, triangulating, gaslighting and sometimes physical abuse. My sister grew up to be quite narcissistic but I don't think she qualifies for full NPD. I developed quiet BPD and when I got older sometimes I hated my mother for having me because she would act like she didn't want me when I did something she didn't like. I never self-harmed but I still have those patterns and I don't feel like I would be a good mother. I decided to break that circle of personality disorders in our family.
@all4beesandbees4all
@all4beesandbees4all 3 жыл бұрын
It's like you're describing my own experience to a t. I am so sorry. I hope things improve and you are able to grow from your experiences.
@veraobsessed9809
@veraobsessed9809 2 жыл бұрын
I have 2 kids and I beat my self up all the time but they know I love them . I try to be everything parents were not. Kind gentle. Tell them it's ok to have feelings angry sad. Let them know it's ok. They are just babies now but I'm breaking the cycle
@dk1828
@dk1828 3 жыл бұрын
As a professional myself, I loved this clinician’s style! It was very effective without being enabling. I think the avoidance behavior was really eye opening for the client 🙏
@sailing9802
@sailing9802 3 жыл бұрын
curious as to what would have made it enabling...
@imbreakinghearts
@imbreakinghearts 2 жыл бұрын
damn there is a full crew?! she’s super strong for doing this and I’m super grateful; helped me a lot! we have similar responses and thought patterns so it’s nice to see this as a third party and truly understand it differently
@UnUsedAndUnWanted
@UnUsedAndUnWanted 2 жыл бұрын
People with bpd are hellbent on putting themselves down because the second we forgive ourselves we get looked at like we shouldn't have the privilege of forgiving ourselves. Nobody realizes how much other people effect people with bpd. The stigma has got to stop. We can't get better if everyone around us is constantly verifying everything we are already feeling
@weirdloverwilde
@weirdloverwilde 3 күн бұрын
I do think that part of overcoming BPD is learning to be okay with what other people think
@LuxMeow
@LuxMeow 3 жыл бұрын
This is the most raw interview I've come across and never related to someone more in my life, even though there are a lot of differences between us. Found this super intense and it's not even my session. People with borderline have a ton of courage, more than they'll ever realize and some of the biggest hearts on this planet despite what people may see. 💛
@queenofthebutterflies5212
@queenofthebutterflies5212 3 жыл бұрын
They make the best artisits/musicians, etc :) - absolutely, tons of courage
@queenofthebutterflies5212
@queenofthebutterflies5212 3 жыл бұрын
@D Wilson 🙏 Bless you. You have described it so succinctly, I'm going to copy and paste what you have written, with your permission, so I can explain to ppl what the fuck is wrong with me. Thankyou so much 💗
@scott1285
@scott1285 3 жыл бұрын
Super brave as they manipulate and hurt everyone around them.
@starboy2013
@starboy2013 2 жыл бұрын
Look up soft white underbelly.
@joshodonnell2270
@joshodonnell2270 2 жыл бұрын
@@scott1285 hands down the most insensitive comment i have seen (particularly since its contextually inappropriate, being the comments section for a therapy session) but also the most ignorant as well. Surely you're an intelligent and capable human being, I have no doubt. Some compassion may help you. Legitimately not being sarcastic here btw.
@dawnemile7499
@dawnemile7499 3 жыл бұрын
The patient was unhappy with her father for not saving her from her mother yet she said that she loved her father. There might have been a residue of resentment against her father that she is not acknowledgimg.
@buebitohonguito4061
@buebitohonguito4061 3 жыл бұрын
Story of my life, though, I do Love my mother, I adore my father.
@rebeccaburnett1860
@rebeccaburnett1860 3 жыл бұрын
That's common in people with BPD, myself included. We often have ambivalent feelings towards our parents.
@bonnielucas1941
@bonnielucas1941 3 жыл бұрын
It's very difficult to hold the one parent responsible who is all you have. Considering the other parent was cruel & verbally abusive.
@ButterflyChaserXO
@ButterflyChaserXO 3 жыл бұрын
We’re all on a journey, many people feel things before they are ready to express them. And if not, it’s likely in time those things get uncovered. (Disclaimer: I absolutely recognize this is my reaction, but I’m reading your acknowledgement as judgement for some reason. I think maybe the phrasing, but of course this is only my reaction and the story I am telling myself…) In defense of the person being interviewed… I relate a lot to this interview and coming to terms with things like this are extremely contradictory with internal dialogue and bring up a lot of emotional turbulence. It’s not easy to “just admit/acknowledge something” and there are so many factors to accepting things…
@RachieM1234
@RachieM1234 2 жыл бұрын
And the way she completely skipped over her father having so many affairs... I just want to give her a mom hug with no strings, just love. She is so wonderful, I hope she finds healing.
@markslavin-bw1zi
@markslavin-bw1zi 29 күн бұрын
I want to extend my sincere gratitude to both of you for sharing this video. I am currently in therapy following a textbook breakup with someone who has BPD. It was an incredibly challenging experience, but gaining insight into their perspective and struggles has been crucial for my healing process. Thank you both for your openness, and I am sending prayers for healing your way. I believe you would be an amazing mother, and I am sorry for the pain you have experienced.
@casman9635
@casman9635 3 жыл бұрын
Well, she seems pretty awesome to me. Going through life like this already sucks. But then to talk about it out loud really sucks, and then to willingly do it on camera? That's a testament to this girl. She probably has no idea how many people couldn't do this like she did. I know I couldn't. But I'm glad she did. Thank you. And I hope it helped you (her), and you (the current reader).
@ProactiveResilience
@ProactiveResilience 2 жыл бұрын
Individuals with borderline are so well spoken and insightful ... I think this interview cracked the core about how maladaptive coping mechanisms and avoidance still prevent intimacy, and protect from the pain of lack of intimacy ... Another big insight I see is how they don't let the counselor or other person in a conversation finish their sentences. They are attuned, and good at finishing the other person's sentences, but it still distances them from fully listening, and connecting with the other person in THAT way, which is like meeting them in the middle. They don't want to meet in the middle, actually connect. It's terrifying. 🤔 Another insight is INTENSE shame, around matters they can't take back. Bpd is one of the toughest disorders, in my opinion, for those inflicted and their loved ones... Wishing everyone out there struggling all the peace and love in the world. Good luck.
@peaceandhonesty3516
@peaceandhonesty3516 2 жыл бұрын
I believe many many women are diagnosed with BPD whilst same presenting men get an Autism diagnosis.
@tn420animations9
@tn420animations9 2 жыл бұрын
Um no tbh I think I'm a bad guy.
@tn420animations9
@tn420animations9 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a "manipulator"
@jimdugan3850
@jimdugan3850 2 жыл бұрын
@jcorb What are these simpler terms?
@le_th_
@le_th_ 2 жыл бұрын
This is so helpful to know what is going on inside the mind of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, but it is also so difficult to hear how much she is suffering and struggling, and then to try to imagine what it must be like to actually feel all those feelings. Heartbreaking...
@almaguapa-sailboatliveaboa440
@almaguapa-sailboatliveaboa440 2 жыл бұрын
Mother issues are devastating. Proof is right here: during therapy session Charlotte was very well in control, transparent and very aware of herself. The moment she's back in society or around family, her mind and actions goes wild.
@MrMakingwavesmedia
@MrMakingwavesmedia 2 жыл бұрын
You are born with BPD for fuck sake. You are not a psycologyst stop making up facts. You help nobody by telling them they are victims. This is the worst thing you can tell someone with BPD. They have to learn how to take responsibility for their own wellbeing and stop telling themselves they are victims. Abuse does not cause BPD it is a generic dissease and you are born with it. They usually have abusive paerents because they have a personality disorder themselves.
@jasongee1970
@jasongee1970 3 жыл бұрын
I like this lady, she has a lot of personality,she's just been beaten down in life like a lot of us.Hope she's doing ok.
@scratch5191
@scratch5191 3 жыл бұрын
I love this woman. I don't think I have ever revealed myself to any therapist in my entire life. That includes a half dozen states where I saw practitioners for decades. A lot stays in hospitals. I've always edited myself. By posting this I learned to be more attentive about dbt, and being honest isn't going bring shame on my parents lol. It's pretty much pointless to go to a session with your toes in the water. Take the plunge.
@BorderlinerNotes
@BorderlinerNotes 3 жыл бұрын
Plunge plunge. (heart emoji)
@wangdoodlemisanthrope3020
@wangdoodlemisanthrope3020 3 жыл бұрын
A half dozen states where you saw practitioners for decades? Are you a vampire? LOL
@MJ95630
@MJ95630 3 жыл бұрын
@@wangdoodlemisanthrope3020 Huh?
@wangdoodlemisanthrope3020
@wangdoodlemisanthrope3020 3 жыл бұрын
@@MJ95630 If the OP of the comment had seen a half dozen (which is six) practitioners for decades (which is the plural of a decade which is ten years) they would have to be at least 120 years old. And that is minimum.
@dubsbarry9963
@dubsbarry9963 3 жыл бұрын
@@wangdoodlemisanthrope3020 he never said a half dozen decades.
@giantessmaria
@giantessmaria 2 жыл бұрын
that was such a beautiful interaction... sincerity, compassion, trust, honesty... its rare to witness something so completely unpretentious anymore....
@jsin7747
@jsin7747 3 ай бұрын
the way she said "meh" about things feeling better...😢 hit me right in the feels. Only 4 minutes in and it resonates so much.
@teresaoleagonzalez9926
@teresaoleagonzalez9926 3 жыл бұрын
the room set up is such a visual representation of how this fucking interview is making me feel. the window is so high up the walls are grey theyre too close to the wall so it feels tight and like youre trapped
@soozshooz
@soozshooz 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly!
@tegannottelling
@tegannottelling 3 жыл бұрын
I hear you there, A plant or two makes such a difference 💕
@etiennemarchione2207
@etiennemarchione2207 3 жыл бұрын
And it's dark in there the light is barely available at times. Crazy making.
@juliedefee598
@juliedefee598 3 жыл бұрын
Great observation.
@sarahholland2600
@sarahholland2600 3 жыл бұрын
Interesting view. Grey does make me feel meh. It's a bit grim & clinical ,I'd never use it even tho it's still a huge decor trend.
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