He's cemented his reputation as one of the authors of all time. His book is the best thing since Zod's snapped neck.

This is BOOK written by AUTHOR. There are WORDS in it which forms SENTENCES, making PARAGRAPHS.

Chris Stuckman's Top Ten Foods To Try Before You Die: 10. Butter 9. Cheese 8. Milk 7. Crayons 6. Steak 5. Fries 4. Chicken 3. Hot Dog 2. Hamburger 1. Pizza The book we all needed.

Three whole ass hours of Chris Stuckman is truly the one thing that sucks out all the joy in my life…

That Stuckmann would be really mad if he allowed himself to criticize!

This book was made for someone who just woke up from a 30 year coma. Most of the movies are popular.

i wish Mike Stoklasa and Rich Evans would sit down and read the book to each other and film it 😂

Stuckman is so boring that he’s fascinating

I just love that his movie bucket list is all huge blockbusters lmao

If I made a book about movies.....I would highlight movies that are A) underrated B) overbashed C) Foreign films D) Films lost to time E) and even guilty pleasures. Examples for me would the likes of Buckaroo Banzai, The Spiral Staircase, If You Meet Sartana Pray for Your Death, He Never Died and I could go on. Not films that made millions/billions at the box office.

I saw Signs around the same age and it left an impression on me: that films can be unintentionally hilarious.

This book will be used as key evidence in Chris' upcoming trial for cinephila.

Watching Chris' videos gives off the impression that he's constantly trying to convince the audience and himself that he's a film connoisseur. But not only are his takes on movies extremely shallow but so is his "repertoire" of films that he's truly passionate about - evident by his book that lists the most normy popular films released in the 2000s.

Why would I need Chris Stuckmann when I have a magic 8-ball?

I miss when critics would suggest ponderous, esoteric films. At least point me in a direction of something I've never seen before. My grandma has probably seen all these movies.

Chris Stuckman is the Patrick Bateman of movie critics he just repeats everything he has heard said about movies without understanding why it was said.

1:35:05 I seriously believe the reason Return of The King is on this list and not any of the other LOTR movies is solely because it made cinema history with winning every oscar it was nominated for and not because Chris Stuckman particularly liked it or had his own reasons for thinking it the best of the three. Of course he just looked at what the academy liked the best and treated it as indisputable fact.

War crime that he includes The Force Awakens as the Star Wars film to see before you die

Stuckman used to have passionate, interesting reviews until something changed and his reviews became useless

"KZfaq is a graveyard of attempted TLJ defense." Maybe the best rebuke of a film I've ever heard. 41:26

Hi guys, 50 year old Indian mom and OT Star Wars fan here, and I love your reviews. To put the records straight about Empire - I was a kid when it came out, and it did NOT have a lukewarm reception, it’s where we found out Darth Vader was Luke’s father !!! and Han and Leia’s love confirmed (I love you❤I know❤). At the worst we can say it shocked us. The proof how well Empire was received was how Return was anticipated just 3 years later. I was an 11 year old kid and I stood in line around the block in the rain for hours and we didn’t have seats, my brother sat on my cousins lap, and we didn’t care, we were so excited, hooting and hollering when each character came out. Chris is a hack. Anyone who likes force awakens is an idiot and does not know what good movies are.

I saw Star Wars (AKA Part 4) w/my friends at age 18 at the Ziegfeld in Midtown NYC. We were absolutely blown away. The Empire Strikes Back did everything a sequel could hope to do. The opening scenes on Hoth, the Imperial walkers, and the introduction of the Executor as a shadow that envelopes the already huge Star destroyers -- Yoda, the fight scene w/Vader, the twist delivered with real emotion and drama. We loved it. The idea that Empire was not well received is complete B.S. and cope. I don't know how this myth arose.

He forgot to say WHY you need to watch these films.

Having the end of a trilogy(lotr and toy story) but not the whole collection is an odd choice since those films rely on thier prior installments for character establishment.

I Don’t Watch movies. I haven’t been inside a theater in over a decade. Never even seen the first Avengers. And I’ve still seen over half of these “must see” movies.

Can't wait for the Netflix adaptation

the Extended Edition of the LOTR trilogy is not too long it is also not too short it is at the precise length it means to be

At the absolute least, I can confidently say that the Prequels had great ideas ... It's just that a lot of it fumbled in its execution. The Disney trilogy, however ... It's 100% rotten from top to bottom; absolutely nothing worth salvaging.

Stucker's book is a manual on how to end up on OnlyJoys after your YT career fails.

Tell that to the books snapped spine

Is Under the Skin literally the only independent movie on that list? It seems like he took IMDB top 50 based on popularity + high rating and just copied the whole list.

Chris Stuckmann = Brian Griffin

A 3-hour highlight. Longman's classic

"cacher" is French for "to hide" So "caché" is "hidden"

Hearing Mauler read Chris's words is hilarious, it gives it a false air of gravitas that plays so well against the terrible prose.

this book feels like the complete opposite of YMS and his "media diet" its such a normie list with a very few exceptions that its not hard to believe it was written by Stuckmann

It’s quite interesting isn’t it? How someone can you from being a normal critic who gives honest takes to this…shell of a critic. Someone who says (or in this case writes) soo much but doesn’t mean anything or is soo generic to be safe, like why? 😂

I knew Stuckmann was a shill when he interviewed Colin Trevorrow and then went easy on The Book of Henry.

Is there any book in existence that doesn't have 'Best Seller' on it these days?

You guys gotta do a book version of this podcast..EPAD. Every Page A Disappointment.

Unless MauLer's skipping them, Stuckman skipped the bit where he lists age ratings. Wouldn't wanna take my small child to see an R-rated horror film or something. Probably would have added 15 pages, too.

I love how they act like Studio Ghibli films of all things are like some super obscure choice. I can't wait until the EFAP crew discover other obscure films such as Akira and Ghost in the Shell.

Now everyone can get Stuckmanized with his terrible book! even your children! XD

>"EFAP Highlights" >3 hours long Seems about right

One of the things that I find common across a lot of KZfaq 'critics' is that many of them have a very limited appreciation of cinema other than the Hollywood mainstream. I remember years ago I watched several 'my blu ray collection' videos from a number of people on the platform. Many of them had less than 10 international releases... I unsubbed years ago...

Its sad that there is probably a case of someone buying this book, reading it, seeing oh return of the king? Watches ONLY return of the king and has no clue wtf is going on, thus thinking lord of the rings is bad. Shame on you for potentially confusing that person stuckman.

30:57 "They quite literally leap from the screen." 🎞🎞🎞 LITERALLY? 🎬 Does Stuckmann know what that word means? As in, the characters emerged from the screen and mingled with the audience, like in "The Purple Rose of Cairo"by Woody Allen? 🌹

How ironic that Chris Stuckmann's review of _American Psycho_ has about the same level of depth to it as Patrick Bateman talking about Huey Lewis and the News: empty repetition of things he's heard a million times before, with no passion whatsoever, and without actually delving into the nuances of the piece in question.

Imagine Anthony Fantano releasing "THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO THE BEST MUSIC TO LISTEN TO BEFORE YOU CROAK" and it's a list full of Taylor Swift, Drake, The Weeknd, Olivia Rodrigo.

When Marnie was there is a Studio Ghibli movie. It's a suprise it got brought up its generally viewed on the lower half of the Ghibli list compared to stuff like Castle of Cagliostro or My neighbor Totoro

ok... does he actually understands any of the words that he strung together?

It's a shame because Chris did a video on Angel's Egg, a film I never heard of, suffice to say I watched and it became one of my favourite Anime films.

Ah, yes, Arwen, the third most important character in LotR, closely followed by a Rohirrim rider # 1304

Dude put force awakens on a film bucket list.

Well, at least he got one right with "Spirited Away".

"Hiddel Subbledies" about Signs? I haven't seen it, and I still knew all that!

Good lord, Chris' writing here wouldn't pass my 9th grade L.A. class.

A full 3 hour (and 1 minute) long highlight. That never gets boring.

1:48:40 Actually, the full rule is “i before e, except after c, and when sounding like eh in a neighboring way, and on weekends and holidays, and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!” It’s a rough rule.

They gave us half an hour of drunk Hit and Run for listening to 3 hours of Stuckmann. As a treat

No wonder he adores Roger Ebert. His reviews were also very basic and superficial.

*in reference to his TFA review Ugh, I'm sick of those arguments people make in favour of sequels/reboots; claiming that the only reason people didn't like it was because they're comparing it to the originals. It's utter nonsense. I've not even seen the originals, but I have enough knowledge about them to know how the new films contradict them and I have seen TFA and TLJ.. and I can give all kinds of reasons why they are Not good films without connecting them to the originals at all.. Yet I STILL see people defending them by saying everyone Just compares it to the original. They're essentially saying we are wrong for expecting a worthy sequel. What kind of argument is that??

i think what he was going for with the ''start the popcorn'' line was that you start it now as you read the book so you have popcorn ready to grab for the must watch film you will start watching immediately after reading his recommendation and review.

Genuinely, I'd be more interested to see a movie about pod racing than a movie about anything established in the sequel trilogy.

Let’s not forget this fruit came out as “Pansexual” a few years ago.

Out of the late 2000s/early 2010s YT movie reviewer crowd Jeremy Jahns has aged the best. He has a much better understanding of good movie making than most of his "competition" that constantly toot their horn about it. I would not throw RLM into this because these guys matured before using YT as a platform for reviews and avoided all that parasocial cult of celebrity culture of presenting yourself as a product with a catch-phrase and such.

The Chronicles of Stuckmann: The Factor_, The Filmmaker and the Christmas Cracker Crown

The only thing that reminds me of time passing while I listen to EFAP is the tearing of my sore ass. Which is one of the only things that brings me joy in life.

Hi Wolf, hope you're doing well. I was wondering whether you would be willing to put the original EFAP episode number jn the title of the highlights. It would make it both easier to find a highlight, and to know whether you've seen the original episode.

Chris cannot evolve as a writer. That is why they call him Stuckmann.

My first movie theater experience was watching ET. Six year old me was awestruck.

“What is myrrh, anyway?” “It is a valuable balm.” “A bomb?! Why would you give a baby a bomb?!"

I love that the rest of the vid is just Mauler and metal black out drunk😅

I'm confused as to why this is a book and not a blog/video.

Have you uploaded the clip of the guy’s discovering the first cult of EFAP lore, NOOM, from at some point during the 150 three-parter?

1:40:00, when the typo comes up a second time 😂😂😂 pure gold!

I saw the video cover and was genuinely terrified that Stuckman has written a children's book! Kids have enough crap to deal with- they don't need to get Stuckmanised on top of that.

Really need more drunk streams, that Hit and Run playthrough was golden

“Because why die happy” at 51:53 had me laughing hysterically 😂

I love how an EFAP clip/supercut is 3 hours long lmao. The longmen strike again.

Two things that drove me off his reviews back then: 1: he also reviewed Jurassic World the same year as TFA and complained that it was ‘’supposedly’’ identical to the first Jurassic Park, while NEVER admitting that TFA was a carbon copy of New Hope…… 2: later on he absolutely shat all over Rogue One saying it was one of the worse SW movies….. I can’t with that man…

"Super-Solider" is killing me. I'm sorry. 🤣🤣🤣

9:35 "My love of movies turned into the art of film"? 🤔🤨😑 I presume he means, "My love of movies turned me on to the love of filmmaking."📽🎬🎞 This is what happens when you turn over your copywriting work to an intern whose first language is not English.🤦‍♂️

his one Studio Ghibli movie is When Marnie Was There. one of their worst movies.

I would genuinely love for yall to write the book Rags’s’s’s described. I feel like it would not only make for entertaining AND informative reading, but would definitely help fund future EFAPS. Please consider “Every Page A Pause”!

Only EFAP could have a 3 hour SUPERCUT lol. Good listening material when im working on other stuff

Chris Stuckman is an anthropomorphic pair of khakis. He's a beige Toyota Sienna. He's luke warm given flesh.

Chris Stuckmann just comes across to me as someone who's, well, simple. He doesn't seem very bright and lacks self-awareness. His reviews, even his old ones, lack any meaningful depth or insight. He isn't particularly witty nor does he have any real charm. The algorithm just favored him, probably because he was one of the earliest movie reviewers on KZfaq. He's just some basic dude. What's baffling is that he sees himself as more than that. Jeremy Jahns presents himself obviously as some average dude who watches movies and he actually has some charm. Chris on the other hand, seems like he takes himself more seriously and sees himself a kind of film expert. His attempt at rewriting BvS is a strong example to shows this, and was the point I decided to finally stop following him. He shared it initially as an attempt to improve on the movie, but when he got roasted for how bad it was, he played it off as some kind of fun little thing he barely spent any time on; just as some kind of joke. Then there's the whole RLM drama where he acted like a baby. Like, the words he was saying in the video about not being offended were completely contradicting the fact that he made the video and even the statements he actually made in the video. How he wasn't able to notice this shows how simple his mind is and how he lacks self-awareness. And I recall a video review he made of a movie focused on black issues which I don't remember; could be either 12 Years a Slave or Get Out, but he had to point out that he's down with black culture and has black friends, while showing a photo of him being the sole white person in a group of black people. It wasn't even done in a comedic way, he just talked about it and showed the picture in a matter of fact way. And the list goes on up until current day with the whole Madame Web fiasco. It just reeks of someone who is simple and lacks nuance and tact. A rude way of concluding what I'm trying to say is that he doesn't seem really smart. Sometime, it even seems like he's kind of slow. But he believes that he's smarter than he actually is. That his opinions hold more value than they actually do.

Stuckmanize me, Longman!

He truly cares about the bookmaker experience.

Mauler : Let me die Stuckmann : Not yet. You still need to watch those two movies

How does this guy get away with NEVER SAYING ANYTHING? Who's the audience for this? Meanwhile, tons of insightful YTers struggle to get subscribers; this is the world we live in now.

What people should understand is that...Stuckman deserves this. He is the one who wanted to elevate himself above others to be a film critic instead of just a film guy. Stuckman was the one with the pompous attitude and wanted to make money off this while others who offer way more get less. These people are doing an excellent job of showing why stuckmann is bad . He's getting actual critique...and anybody not on board is defending someone who is actually hurting film . Keep rocking guys. Watch the video from fury of the film fan, you'll see stuckmann has a history of bad moves with people . He deserves the hate

This was a Solider highlight.

I like how the last half hour is just highlights from the drunk stream. No mention of Stuckmann! (I prefer it that way)

Actually, what's funny, I remember hearing that the 2nd and 3rd movies in the Rings trilogy were NOT shot concurrently, that there are scenes from the 2nd and third movie that were shot while they were also shooting the first. There were no guns on the sets though, unlike the production for Rust.

I used to like that dude's "hilarocity" reviews. It was just some goofy mormon dude talking about bad movies. Something to put on, on the background. But he found some youtube success and believes it can help him realize his dream of making a hollywood movie. So he stopped all his criticism, the only thing anyone watched him for. Also 170 pages is barely a novella. Let alone a book.

I'd myself make a huge list of "fun films" Like films that are just fun to watch but the higher the list the more the fun is also mixed with actual good quality so like independence day would be in there coz it's fun, the monsterverse movies but then towards the top is like terminator 2 and jurassic park

Gentlemen, start the popcorn! (11 minutes for reference)

“A simple pill, ingested by a man who received a simple idea, a simple thought".