we call them salties to distinguish them from freshies

Careful there buddy... We'll put your country up for sale on e-bay again

I'm from North Qld and would like to add that if the wildlife doesn't get you, there's a 50% chance your car will be stolen by a local teenager while you're at the beach.

As a South African I have to say, at least there's a sign...

I think we need an official apology from NZ to whoever our PM is next week.

“These birds that may as well be velociraptors” best statement ever.

As an Australian I can get behind the idea of calling crocs 'nibblers' 🤣

"Any sharks 'round here?" "Nah mate" (Crocodiles ate all the sharks).

would be even funnier in english

Clever boy I’m a Queenslander and that clip is great should have included “ hey never mind about swimming, why not collect some lovely sea shells instead - well you can’t do that either as the cone shell is one of the most deadly creatures in Australia . Not to mention stone fish , stingrays and iracangi jellyfish which are barely visible and can kill in 10mins “ ahhhhh Australia the land of opportunity , like you have the opportunity to be torn apart in 2 mins or suffer fatal poisoning’s for 10 mins 😵

As an Aussie. I love the banter between us and the kiwis. Same sense of humour

The banter between Kiwi’s and Aussie’s is good fun .. Being a Aussie, my hat is off to you mate. Great vid 😎

I love this. My friend lived in Cairns for many years. His home backed onto a huge tidal mudflat. His words of advice were "If you come home smashed (drunk) It's OK to pass out on the front lawn, but never pass out in the back yard. The crocs will get you". His logic was that somehow a croc was incapable of walking up the side of the house. (or underneath it). They had a flimsy flyscreen door to the backyard. Twice they left it open only to discover a small croc in their kitchen. So somehow a closed thin flyscreen was sufficient to discourage a huge croc from coming in for lunch. I would not have rented there. The crocs didn't seem that interested in walking too far from the mudflats to interact with humans. None of their neighbours had pets. A family dog would last about 2 months tops.

Well in the last 50 years 500,000 kiwis have come to Australia and "not returned" so technically he's correct.

When he showed te Cassowary feet i said to myself "please say 'clever girl'" Did not disappoint...

I lived & traveled cross the outback mi whole life, & nuthin ever bit stalked or attacked me, except when I was driving taxis on the night shift in Melbourne.

Just had a look for the most dangerous animals in the UK, since us Brits did not want to be left out, top two are Red Deer & Cows, yep i know we have some catching up to do. Well have you ever seen a Red Deer or Cow ripping someones legs off, not a pretty sight. It can take weeks, and you have to wrap the legs in grass first, lots of grass.

Your right. So many Kiwis never go back home. Evan the ones who survive.

Mate coming from an Aussie, I love this clip great humour. Made my day watching this. Good to see that we can still take the piss out of each other and have a laugh still.

And did you know the Duck Billed Platypus, that funny looking little cutie that everybody loves, is also venomous even though it's actually a mammal? Of course you did. Because it's Australian.

"Chances are you won't return", spoken like a true kiwi lol

This Canadian is not going to take sides in the fight. Because it is f**king cold here right now and I want to be where it's warm!

You forgot the most feared creature - ask any of us - the crazed, swooping magpie, protecting their nest!

As an Aussie, this is hilarious. See, in AUS we have real danger. In NZ, they attach a long rope to your leg and push you off a bridge to contrive some danger. Want an authentic experience? AUS is where it’s at...

I love the NZ/aussie banter...I am an Aussie who came to far north NZ and never went back...no snakes!!!!!!

The most terrifying beast is so tiny it's invisible, flies, sucks your blood, leaves you in itchy agony for months and covered in scars. And there's very little defence from it. The absolute worst creature in QLD is Midges.

We locals actually call them Big Lizards. One morning the Council worker that empties the bins found one in the Airlie Beach pool which is right on the beach. Had to call the Rangers in to shoo her back into the Ocean before the tourists arrived. Now that’s a job!

Clever boy this, just buys a one way ticket, sledges the place, then gets a free ride home, deported as an undesirable.

All our highly trained animals and they still can't keep you buggers out. I need to speak to someone.

It's funny what we call normal life others call scary. We don't even think twice about any danger. Every time I walk out the front door the wife never knows if I'll return alive ... and that's just when I get the mail.

"Salties" sounds like a nice snack food. "I'll have some salties and a stinger, please."

I'm born and raised in NZ and now live in Queensland Australia. I love it here. But everything said in this video is true.

I remember, a friend of mine visited Australia once and he didn't know what geckos were. And I told him they were baby crocodiles and they lived on land to get bigger before moving back to a body of water. I also told him to be quite around them, because if he startled them, they might bite him. He didn't sleep that night, I was dying! xD

Lol....l love it. Nothing better that ditch warfare. Very well done my kiwi neighbour.

Hilarious, but true. Can’t even hide in your backyard shed because there’s more venomous spiders and snakes than the Amazon jungle. 😁

''Salties'' sounds like some kind of snack food, not some murder lizard that justifies me carrying a bazooka to a beach.

That’s brilliant, the comments are even funnier 😀

As a Queenslander, I approve this message. Kiwis, please do not come here. (hehe)

No tourism ad for FNQ is complete without an appearance from Bob Katter.

New Zealanders think that the Canning stock rout is an annual event.

Nothing to worry about the sharks ate all the crocs 🦈🦈🐊🐊

Ha, ha ... this is so true. I was up north of Port Douglas and went for a swim in the sea until some people started shouting at me to get out the water. I thought it must have been a shark, but they were shouting about "salties" ... I was a new arrival to Australia and had no idea what a "salty" was. Then to make things more ridiculous they said "didn't you see the sign?" I said "What sign?". Up near the car park there was a sign covered by an overhanging tree warning people not to swim because of crocodiles. "She'll be right mate". One day they might get around to cutting the tree back so people who can read English don't get eaten. Gone troppo mate!

I thought a New Zealander was just a sophisticated Australian?

You forgot about Bull sharks in every canal estate.

Don't forget the Gympie-Gympie plant if you're in the forest. They're covered in fine venomous hair that'll deliver intense pain even to the slightest touch. These fine hairs can even get airborne so bring a breathing mask.

We need Isaac Butterfield to do a tourism video for New Zealand now lol

As a Kiwi I remember taking my family to Queensland for a holiday and in just a normal park in Brisbane my 6 year old son called me over to see what he had found.....It was a rather large red bellied black snake basking in the sun and he was standing right next to it lol

Aren't the Kiwis doing well in the Americas Cup? The amazing thing is, 9 of them in a boat, and they DON'T make a run for Australia!

I’m hilarious and even I find this Australian

The most dangerous creature in Australia is a drunken Kiwi...if only they could hold their beer like they hold their sheep....

Comments are just as good as the vid. Gold standard.

As a kiwi I have a very strong urge to send this to my aussie uncle update: sent it to him- waiting a reply

Very entertaining and accurate at the same time. You only covered Queensland. Over in WA we have Blue Ringed Octopus, Massive White Pointer Sharks, Stone Fish , several of the most deadly snakes in the world (sea and land) plus everything you see in this video. That being said, I've never seen a Kiwi go back to NZ for more than short holiday.

Redback funnel web blue ringed octopus, taipain, tiger snakes, and a box jellyfish, stone fish, and the poisonous thing that lives in shell, that stings you when you pick it up

Fantastic!! Absolutely loved this, I have tears in my eyes from laughing!! Best sense of humour ever!!

That part about a one way ticket is spot on for almost every Kiwi.

Not sure I can add to the list of comments..I'm too busy laughing! ...

Funny I loved it ...Good work !!

The Jurassic park bit hat/“clever girl” made me lmao good vid :)

Priceless! Hilarious...makes me want to visit. Great PR. 👍

One of the funnier vids I have seen in a while, well done :-)

You forgot to mention in the rainforest the gimpie gimpie plant which has thorns so painful it makes people kill themselves!

My home couldn't have been described any better 😂 well done ya crazy kiwi

Great job, well done ! Most enjoyable !

Lol that was bloody brilliant!

Forget the crocs, the snakes, the blue ringed octopus, the scorpions, the deadly spiders, it's the bloody bad tempered inch ants you really have to worry about!

‘Don’t let that dissuade you, they’ve got other stuff” 😂😂😂😂😂

Excellent video, my man. Cracked me up

I'm literally sitting on the beach in the title card and can confirm there is a croc 1m away from me rn

Now c'mon mate, How could you forget to mention those bloody Drop Bears! ;)

Best travel video ever made ... well done ... well done indeed ...

Part 2 please!!!! 😁👍. Loved it. Live in Sydney. Grew up in auckland.

Thinking 🤔 of giving the mother-in-law a nice Australian beach vacation, just have to remember to swap her sunscreen for steak sauce.

Drop bears?!

Very funny. Well done! Great video! Mate, as an aussie who travels the world (cruise industry), you had me in stitches & and actually, a touch homesick. (Currently in the Baltics). I had forgotten how much joy there was swimming in FNQ. I miss the excitement!!! I have numerous kiwi friends who love Oz, the sun, the sunburn, the sun, but are scared sh%#less to venture away form the major cities because of exactly what is in the contents of your video. Brilliant.Well done!

Love it, well done!

Death: "A list of all the non-hazardous animals and plants in Australia, please". Death's Library: "Some of the sheep" RIP Sir Terry Pratchett.

As a New Zealander, I can say that this is fucking amazing.

Excellent, well done mate 👏👏👏

The Jurassic Park “clever girl” hahah awesome touch

Nibblers haha so good!!

Think you're safe in fresh water instead? Nup, we've got bull sharks living in our freshwater lakes.

Brilliant! Also, don't come over during cyclone season. You know, Summer! :D

that was awesome 🤍 best thing I’ve seen all day

I just got this thrown at me by "The Algorithm" and it's as FAF! 🤣 ..... it doesn't seem to have worked though, 'cos you Kiwis keep coming over in droves! 😉 I don't get why, given that your place is "pretty sweet, ay bro". We love you guys 🤗

That is frikkin hilarious and true.

Velociraptors, salties and stringers.. Brilliant!!

Very funny, thanks for the laughs.👍🏼

He forgot to mention the stinging bushes in the rainforest.

There's a lone yachtsman in the middle of the Tasman Sea. Suddenly a flock of sheep swim by. So he says to the head sheep "where are you blokes going "? Head sheep says New Zealand. Yachtie asks why. Sheep says " there's drought in Oz mate, we'll take our chances sleeping with the Kiwi's rather than get shot.

Brilliant, mate!

Bloody brilliant. You had this qlder laughing in tears.

I was wondering why you left there our other wonderful friendly beautiful creatures such as redback spiders, taipans, brown snakes, blue ring, stinging nettles, Maggie's, dingoes and a lot more. You know why they don't put signs up everywhere it cuts down on the food bill. So come to North Queensland and have a swim.

Yes, us Aussies sacrifice Kiwis to our reptilian overlords.

Terrific. More please.

I love it when people come in from overseas and freak out over seeing their first red back spider. Then go completely to pieces when you ask if they'd like to see some more as we tour my back yard. It's so cute :) We also have some local very large bull rays that like to mess with beginner divers by coming up behind them and brushing them with a wing almost as if for giggles.

Fair dinkum, you east islanders are funny, and thanks for explaining the one way ticket thing, I was wondering way there are so many of you buggers over here.

A few Salties in the comment section lol, it's just banter.

Fockin amazing mate keep it up

First real true advertising I've seen good on ya bro! Takes a kiwi to get it right first time!