Pia Zadora did *NOT* start acting as a child. Pia Zadora *NEVER* started acting.

Many MANY MANY years ago I had a summer gig on a mid-sized daily paper. At one point I was assigned to do a telephone interview with Pia Zadora. I don't remember what the reason was. I do remember that she was very nice to a newbie reporter. No, that doesn't diminish at all CE's criticism of her movies or her acting. :)

"...I'd rather sit through a 90 minute Vuvuzela Concert!" Best. Burn. EVER.

Fun fact: the jilted, hot dog-throwing boyfriend (referenced at 6:01) went on to do the voice of Baby Herman in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. At least a couple people in this movie went on to be in good things.

Dammit Sean I was about to go to sleep Edit: this movie has a 0% on rotten tomatoes. Let that sink in

Ah, and I kinda wish you did more of those weird Italian mockbusters like the Lou Ferrigno Hercules movie. That movie is BATSHIT INSANE. It starts with Hercules throwing a bear in space and creating a constellation. Then he fights a mecha-butterfly. I...AM...NOT...JOKING....

Interestingly enough, the Golden Globes, IIRC, changed some of their rules AFTER Zadora won her Golden Globe so that "buying" such an award could never happen again... And, if the Lonely Lady were any good, it'd be seen as ahead of its time, given the rise of the #MeToo movement...

Pia Zadora also sucks because she bought “Pickfair” the beautiful, historic home of Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks then falsely claimed it had termites in order to demolish it to build a new McMansion.

Pia Zadora was playing Anne Frank on stage... As the Gestapo made their appearance the audience started to chant... *she's in the attic* (old showbiz story... probably apocryphal)

Honestly, the Razzies have been a joke for quite a while now. They're much more about piling on popular targets than about actually recognizing the worst cinema of the past year.

Yeah, I'm sure that clip of Ray Liotta will NOT be shown if he ever gets a lifetime achievement award... And, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, suddenly Jerilee's line has become a LOT more relevant...

"John. You're cheating." LOL

When you take into account the current environment in Hollywood, 'The Lonely Lady' should get a new adaptation considering how topical it is.

I look forward to the day you review Show Girls

Sean I just wanna say, I never click on your videos by accident. Your videos are the best, keep up the good work! :D

What I find bizarre is that Pia Zadora won the 1982 Golden Globe award for best new star in a motion picture for her role in Butterflies. Also, let's not forget her commercial spots for Dubonnet fortified wine. I have to say she was really cute.

Here's a list of the remaining films by month to get an idea of how long this will take: - Bolero (December) - Rambo (January) - Under the Cherry Moon/Howard the Duck (February/March) - Leonard Part 6 (April) - Cocktail (May) - Star Trek 5 (June) - Ghosts Can't Do It/Ford Fairlane (July/August) - Hudson Hawk (September) - Shining Through (October) - Indecent Proposal (November) - The Color of Night (December) - Showgirls (January) - Striptease (February) - The Postman (March) - Burn Hollywood Burn (April) - Wild Wild West (May) - Freddy Got Fingered (June) - Swept Away (July) - Gigli (August) - Dirty Love (September) - Basic Instinct 2 (October) - I Know Who Killed Me (November) - The Love Guru (December) - Movie 43 (January) - The Emoji Movie (February) Including the winners announced during this time, you'll be at this until April 2021. My condolences.

I forgot how beautiful Pia was. I can’t believe you watched this whole thing. Thank you I just found your channel today and I will be binging them all

What pissed me off about this movie is that this could have been a decent movie that touches on themes about how women are treated in Hollywood that are still relevant today. What we got was a movie made for the sole purpose of showing off Pia Zadora's naked body.

It's creepy how much she looked like a teenager all the way through.

I remember watching "The Lonely Lady" and thinking "Ummm, okay. I feel like there should be more. What am I missing?" Then I read the book. Okay, I was 14, but I was bored during my teen years! Oh, yeah, I could see why Harold Robbins slept thru most of the movie and the critics panned it, and why I felt the movie needed something. The ending of the book had her stripping and revealing a gold Oscar painted on her body. A bit more dramatic than what was in the movie, but more effective (I think). I could see the movie getting remade and maybe doing better.

So next month is Bolero. A Bo Derek flick. This is going to be painful. That makes me look forward to when you'll review Ghosts Can't Do It. Not only it makes most bad romance movies look good, but a certain person is in it (like a cherry on top of a pile of crap).

Imagine if people start cussing at the actual Oscars.

I got quite the education by reading my father's not-well-hidden-from-the-kids Harrold Robbins books.

"Throws it on the ground" guy reminds me of Michael Cera. Time for him to battle the Lonely Lady's evil ex-boyfriends!

I love that Yor's laser gun starts firing by itself before he shoots. Top notch special effects work.

(Pardon the old Meme) Daaaaaamn Sean! Back at it again with the awesome Reviews! Proud of you! :)

In defence of the director, Peter Sasdy made a couple of half-decent films for Hammer: Taste the Blood of Dracula, and, especially, Hands of the Ripper(!). His career ended where it had begun: In television.

This film is my ultimate guilty pleasure, I’ve watched it many, many times. I read the book once to see which was worse, and its hard to say XD But condensing a 428 paged book into 90 minutes was no easy feat AND it shows. Its like cramming all the contents into a box and sealing it with silly putty! The movie is a damned mess and I love it XD The theme song is just bombastic cheese too!

I bought a DVD of "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" at the dollar store years ago. Hey, it was either that or spend that dollar on some off-brand diet cola I never heard of. I ended up tossing it out, I think. Just a couple of years ago, I bought it again, this time with Rifftrax commentary. Money well spent!

This vastly improved my Monday, thanks!

I get so happy each time a new review is up. Thanks Smeghead, you just made my night!

Some other adaptations of Harold Robbins FYC on 'Cinematic Excrement' include 'The Carpetbaggers' (with George Peppard playing a character blatantly based on Howard Hughes with on the nose parallels for John Wayne and Jean Harlow thrown in), 'The Adventurers', 'The Betsy' (again starring Sir Larry Olivier as an obvious Henry Ford parallel) and 'Where Love Has Gone' (with Susan Hayward playing a sculptress Lana Turner stand-in). Apparently, a game among people at the time was to guess which famous person was the basis for one of Robbins' characters (same with his female counterpart Jacqueline Susann).

Hey good news guys I checked the Razzie list and 1985's worst picture winner is Rambo Part II, we get a break from crappy movies soon....Sadly the movie after that is Howard the Duck.

Wait. This was Ray Liotta’s first movie role? I guess you have to start somewhere.

I was LITERALLY about to get ready to go to sleep. Why do you do this to people, Sean?! Also, insert teaser here for Bolero review.

Two references of The Room so far.

1:57 You have to review Santa Claus Conquers the Martians some day.

Loving this channel

15:20 The best part of the whole fucking movie.

I love every time I see a notification for one of your videos. You need more subscribers!

Everything keeps coming back to The Room because it's the greatest movie ever made, period. BTW: you mentioned Jaws 3-D and Hercules. Do you have any plans to review those movies?

Always nice seeing another of your reviews 😆

Lloyd Bochner went on to play Cecil Colby in Dynasty and there is a HEINOUS love scene with Joan Collins where he has a heart attack during fucking. And his bushy back hair is featured a lot. He was also in that famous Twilight Zone episode To Serve Man…(no dont get on the spaceship! it’s a cookbook!!)

I too had only heard of Harold Robbins from the Fawlty Towers episode “Waldorf Salad”. 😂😂

Harvey Weinstein: the movie

1:30-1:37 It opened in less theaters than Trading Places in its *17th* week.

I don't wanna break out the old razzie guide because I'm enjoying being surprised by these.

Honestly, had a good cast and crew been involved in making this movie, this could've been something. There's a good movie buried in this dumpster fire given the subject matter. But unfortunately, this is what we got instead. Also, Shout Factory did pretty good with this movie's HD transfer. I've been so used the crappy standard definition version Cinema Snob used in his review, so it feels nice to see a visually cleaner version of it in this review.

0:52 I learned about Harold Robbins from Fawlty Towers as well!

Sean: there was another movie that came out in 1983 that deserved worst picture. Me: what? *YORS WORLD HE'S THE MAAAAN , YORS WORLD HE'S THE MAAAAN* Me: YOR!!!!!!!

Again, I Googled to see which one is next. Yeah, not just another Romance movie, but another one you'll have to edit the nudity to. Best of luck.

Love your videos!! So funny!

Yor’s world, he’s the man! 😁👍

Your "Hollywood can suck it" catchphrase was apt for this movie.

Yay! Another review!!

Basically, this film is A Star is Born (any version) if it was garbage.

19:20 And now we get to Bo Derek finally for your next review. Which would have qualified to be on Cinemax. Sheesh, you might need a cold shower after these two back to back.

It would have been funny to have the camera zoom in on Ray Liotta's face after the 'hose scene' and him looking dumbfounded said 'As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be an actor.'

You skipped my favourite moment in the breakup scene, when the husband picks up the garden hose and suggests she would be more sexually fulfilled with it than with him.

Hey Sean I know it’s late but congratulations on your 9 year anniversary

DUDE. "Yor, the Hunter" was AMAZING.

Hey Sean can you please speed it up starting in January so we don’t go through two years. Thank you.

No mention of the hose in te breakup scene. It must have have some intended symbolism.

17:40 Here's a sad fact on *"JAWS 3-D":* Kai & Capricorn (a male dolphin) who played the female dolphin heroines "Cindy & Sandy" were nominated for the "Worst New Star" Razzie, credited as "The Shrieking Dolphins"! They *DID NOT* deserve to be nominated for a Razzie! And considering Shelley Duvall's Worst Actress nomination for Stanley Kubrick's *"THE SHINING"* had recently been denounced, you would think they could do the same for our dolphin friends from SeaWorld Orlando.

Remember folks, this guy loves The Last Jedi. Seeing so many terrible movies really puts things in perspective.

Come to think of it, "holy wood" does sound a bit pervy.

Harold Robbins was mentioned on ARE YOU BEING SERVED?, the episode where they are all writing scripts for a proposed Grace Brothers advert to be broadcast in installments. Don't remember the FAWTLY TOWERS.

LMAO! I love your videos!😂

18:17, Spoony gets a Shoutout

Good job, Sean. I've seen four of these commentaries on The Lonely Lady and each one of you mentions something that the other three didn't. In this case it was the TV version. Why did they even bother? They had to cut so much out of it that it just made a bad movie worse!

It's not a *bad premise* when it's a *sadly true occurrence* in Hollywood but unfortunately the execution was *botched* but I wouldn't mind seeing this Revisited at some point with *competent Direction*

I remember reading on its Wikipedia page that The Lonely Lady was based on a true story, but I'm glad I mis-remembered it since I recently looked at it.

14:48 True, but I was also hoping you would play the "NO WIRE HANGERS" clip again

Time to do some more homework and- *sees this video has been posted* Eh, it can wait.

Damn you, Smeg, you just cost me $40 (I need that bluray!!).

THE NEXT MOVIE HE'S REVIEWING IS "BOLERO" AND READING THE PLOT SUMMARY SAYS IT ALL.

Sees the warning: "Well, that's a perfect video to watch during breakfast."

on par with Cinema Snob's review

I saw Your as a kid in the eighties it was awesome fun then 🤔

Any chance you'll take a break and review a bad Christmas/holiday movie next month? I probably already know what the answer is, but considering I had to go through during this review, I *really* could use a breather after this.

13:55 Pretty much sums up the problem with Showgirls, just replace Hollywood with Las Vegas.

YOR was AWESOME!!!

11:50 to 13:24, Is the TV Cut version of the movie better than the Theatrical Cut? Just wondering.

I do wish the Razzies bring back the Worst Original Song Award Next year

If you're going to review every worst picture winner, you're going to be here for a while.

Finally.

"Some people I gave beauty. Some people I gave wisdom. To Pia Zadora I gave nothing." God, Night Court

Damn it all! Episode 108 - Bolero has been taken down! Edit: It was actually blocked from anyone under 18.

Ironically that episode of Fawlty Towers is also the only reason I know of Harold Robbins. Why do I get the feeling that's a common trend?

Quite a short episode

come on man, there is Ray Liotta. any movie with Ray is okay with me. Not sure that i would watch it but its Ray Liotta. :) Also, cinematography is pretty good too.

Wonder if Ray Liotta ever gets questions about THAT scene; BTW, he probably left this movie off his resume after he became famous...

Are you gonna do a vlog review of Creed 2? Would love to hear your thoughts

Are we getting a review for that Heracles film? Cause I want to see that.

LOL, I like the vuvuzela reference. I'm South African, so yep, I get the analogy haha

Pervertland instead of PervertWood? Feels like a missed opportunity.

I don't understand why you don't have more subs, bro. Do you advertise your vids on other sites?

4:55 I can tell you used reverse ;)

Also, looking forward to when you skip over Rambo: First Bood Part 2 and do the first tie for the reward.