"Paging Dr. Freud" Freud: Hell, no. I'm not going anywhere near that psycho.

"They had the chemistry of ammonia and bleach" 😂🤣😂🤣 best quote ever!!!!

Christian Gray makes Glenn Quagmire look classy and dignified!

I think if Sigmund Freud, Alfred Kinsey, and Wilt Chamberlain attended a screening of any of the Fifty Shades movies it would only take 10 minutes before they ran out of the theater screaming and trying to tear their own eyes out.

You know this is just an episode of Criminal Minds BEFORE the guy starts committing murders leading up to his target which is his mother. That is basically what these movies are.

It's funny that Fifty Shades franchise started out as Twilight fan fiction. This franchise makes Twilight look like Shakespeare by comparison. I didn't even think that was possible!

How had Christian not received multiple restraining orders from several different woman over the years?

To quote that magnificent man THE DOM own review of the frist movie in this series "All these people are scum"

I am a simple man. I see a cinematic excrement video. I click.

I totally forgot how freaking _dumb_ that helicopter crash subplot was. It's really pointless and it feels like they have to shoehorn this to drag the story forward and give it a "climax" (yes, this was in the book also. It was stupid)

There's actually a theory that Christian messed up Leila so bad that he essentially broke her psyche. After she left him, Leila was engaged to another man but immediately after that, she gets into an accident and her fiance/husband dies, and it's CHRISTIAN who puts her in a mental asylum, as opposed to her actual family. And after she breaks into Ana's apartment and Christian calms her down, he gives her a "bath" (this happens offscreen in the book, so make of that what you will) and then shoos her back to the mental asylum. So... there's that to chew on.

I saw a trailer for "Fifty Shades Freed" and my immediate reaction was to close my eyes and give it the bird.

Hyde has had 3 assistants quit on him within 1½ years. That is what is called a red flag.

If I had to choose to be in Romantic Relationship with either Christian Grey or Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, I’d pick Patrick. At least he likes Huey Lewis and the News.

My body is ready. ... Wait.

I managed to think up that Barneys quote in a Jamaican accent.

From what I’ve heard Sam-Taylor Johnson was a good director before Fifty Shades. My uncle saw her movie Nowhere Boy about the teenage years of John Lennon and he said it was pretty good. I blamed the quality of Shades on her. I had no idea how much control over the movie they give to E.L. James. I’m so sorry.

*I FREAKING KNEW IT* I’m surprised though you didn’t save this for episode 100. 💙🖋

Tom Hanks, Patrick Stewart, and Weird Al. Yeah as far as I know those three and Denzel Washington seem to be the only celebrities without skeletons in their closet and are just decent people in real life.

I feel like what we are seeing in EL James through her books is insecurity, manifesting in mary sue tendencies with an unhealthy version of "ravishment" fantasy - all these men just find her *so damn desirable* that they can't even respect her space and boundaries because they are so taken with her. I think this is also why a lot of women find the books fun or sexy... she is just a normal-ish girl but is found to be irresistible, which can be an intoxicating fantasy to jump on because it's accessible.

Man there were so many times during this review where I almost threw up in my mouth only for Smeghead to say "it gets worse" And I agree this year's Razzie nominations legitimately pissed me off and not even for the reasons you said.

Misuse of the word “literally” is one of my biggest pet peeves, so I usually cringe when somebody says it without thinking and it’s incorrectly used. But I have to agree with this, which is very rare. Literally nobody says “laters baby”.

Fifty Shades of Grey would make a great horror movie if it changed a few details and gained some sense of self awareness.

If you want to know how fucked up Fifty Shades of Grey is watch the 3 videos by the KZfaqr "The Dom", and no it isn't short for dominant lol, did on the subject of the first book and movie. He goes into some detail why EL James should seek professional help.

EPISODE 100 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

I said the same prayer for Tom Hanks :)

You described this movie quite well. The review was fantastic, unlike the movie. The only thing I could add is this, Twilight was terrible, but it was better than the 50 Shades franchise.

*sees the hint for episode 100... or lack thereof* Milking it are we? I can respect that.

The two main characters remind me of Ron Swanson and Tammy Two from Parks and Recs. Except that latters are meant to be funny.

I love everything about this video 😄

Here's to fifty shades freed being the worst movie of 2018.😁👌

Good timing. I was looking for something good to watch.

"What are butt plugs?" Anna... what do you think they are? Hilarious. "The two lead characters have the chemistry of ammonia and beach." Words fail, but... great episode.

11:06 Dear God. They dragged poor Kim Basinger into this, didn’t they?

Could we just have a movie about Leila? That would be way more interesting.

I really think that when Fifty Shades Freed gets released, it will become the worst movie ever made.

I feel so guilty right now. It took me several weeks to actually finish watching this review. I watched Episode 100 before finishing this one; that's how long it took. Normally, when I see one of these reviews in my subscription feed, I click on it, I watch it, I enjoy it, boom, done. _This_ one, though...I got about 10-and-a-half minutes in before the subject matter pissed me off so much that I had to just ragequit the review. The review itself didn't piss me off. It was the material being reviewed that pushed me to the breaking point, and I basically said "fuck it, _I'm done."_ "For example, the man keeps a dossier on all his potential submissives. He hires private investigators to get photos and do full background checks _on all of his future victims."_ I'm amazed you didn't flip your shit at this, Smeghead. When I was first watching this and heard that last sentence, I got so fucking pissed off. Grey was basically hiring the types of people to assist in his stalking that would normally be hired to bring these types of people to justice. I know there are different types of private investigators, but you would _think_ that someone would've gone "you know what, this shit's just wrong" and at the very least have refused to work for him anymore. Apparently he found just the right types of investigators and/or was paying good enough money that they were willing to figuratively sell their souls to the devil. The further characterizations of Oedipus Grey and Jocasta Steele only serve to make things worse from there. I'd keep calling the characters by these swapped names if it wasn't such an insult to _Oedipus Rex._ Regarding the helicopter crash, I have but one sentence for that, taken from the Double Toasted review that I feel sums it up perfectly: "They didn't even _show_ the crash!" All in all, I feel so bad for waiting so long to finish this review, because you managed to make an awesome review out of material that I would call a steaming pile of horseshit if I felt horses wouldn't neigh at me in disgust for comparing their shit to this awful film. I still have no idea how you managed to pull this off.

It's funny how they take a criminal minds episode, make the crazy monster rich and it spawns a franchise.

Why would they do this?!

WHAT ON EARTH IS THE APPEAL OF THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SERIES?!

Nice review as always, Sean. :) And I am very excited for your 100th episode next month!

My guess for the 100th episode is: The Room. I would be sorely disappointed if Sean didn’t review The Room at some point.

50 Shades Dorkier! Not just the "knee in the junk" cliche, but the "character thought to be dead turns up in person without calling ahead" cliche (also seen in PEARL HARBOR).

Great as always, Sean. Keep it up.

About to start back to back 12 hour shifts for the weekend, I needed this!

Let's just say 'Belfast' was a step up for Jamie Dornan.

Did James demand that Christian wear lipstick throughout this entire movie?

My God...I knew this "franchise" (using the term in the loosest possible sense here) was terrible but I never expected them to be this disturbing. Many people have some sort of fetish, that's fine but being submissive slave and a living sex doll? Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, I think I need several gallons of bleach after watching this. Still, good episode Sean.

As a Portland, Oregon native, the fact that this franchise is partially associated with us is shameful.

Ok. Only halfway through the review, but I have to adress this. I was curious about this movie since Rob Walker described it, but he's right. Unlike the first movie (which at least at that), the directing is utterly incompetent.

Shit like this is why aliens won't talk to us.

It's always a good day when Sean uploads a new video. 😀

I love you. I have been waiting for this review for a long time 😘😀

God bless you for putting yourself through this movie again for entertain us You are the best

This is why I love you CE.

I have been watching ur thing scince the 37 episode and I have watched every single one of ur excrement since so well done for being entertaining ( I think it’s the 37, tbh I have no idea but yea it was about that far away)

Didn't need to Google that. MY MOM told me about it. (Before you ask- she's not a fan, of this or Twilight. She's way too cool.)

You're right, as for what a butt plug could be, VERY short list. Unless changing to what could be used instead if you don't have an actual butt plug. I am a Mistress after all. Also, with that said, think I know why they have that line about him being a sadist instead of a Dom. Needless to say, these stories are HEAVILY despised in the BDSM Community. I watched a bit of the first one, out of curiosity, turned it off in disguise, didn't bother with the second, and only hoping after the 3rd, it does like a certain song goes, fade away and classify itself as obsolete, OBSOLETE!

Great Review - like in the good old days. Thank you ! BTW: Great Shirt!!!

This movie shows how important therapy is

Can't wait for 100 been here since 30

I don't think it was a matter of Universal trying to make Mitchel happy as it was them trying to get her to shut up. And next episode's Citizen Kane isn't it?

With the release of the first film, I wrote somewhere, if you want to see what this movie THINKS it is, watch Secretary (2002) instead. Disturbing, but weirdly interesting, and Maggie Gyllenhaal can act.

My surprise was remembering that the movie came out in 2017, I could swear it was much older, considering I barely seen anyone talking about it.

I am both worried and excited for what the 100th episode will be.

"learn from their mistakes" [already googling the tampon scene] can't wait for episode 100!

It is rather fitting that Kim Basinger would be in at least one of these; she starred in "9 1/2 Weeks", a classic 80's movie which was also about a young woman who was both enchanted and horrified at the same time by a rich guy with all sorts of kinky fetishes. Big difference being that when she finally left at the end because she'd had enough, she left for good and that was that. Kind of like Molly Ringwald's cameo in "Not Another Teen Movie". By the way, it was said that the last FSoG movie took approximately 9 1/2 weeks to shoot.

Universal bought the film rights to EL James' book The Mister. There is going to be a 'The Mister' movie.

4:08-4:12 In case anyone's wondering, "barney" is Cockney rhyming slang for "trouble." Barney Rubble = trouble.

Good job finally making a title that doesn't give the movie away.

Ugh, this movie series gives good fan fiction writers and stories bad reps >.>

Oh, Hey! I love your videos.

So, I take it that the “Tampon Scene” is to literature what “Puzzle Room” is to Siivagunner. Something so regretful, that those who have witnessed it have tried to prevent others from ever viewing it. Or in Fifty Shades case, reading it.

You'll be doing Gigli, right? Because I recall you saying in an earlier video that you'll be dreading the day you'll be doing that movie.

8:20 I have my own three. Just let me have Chris Pratt, Mel Brooks, and voice actor John DiMaggio and I’ll be good. And if he’s not to busy maybe god can throw in Tom Hanks too.

Wow! a trilogy of crapy books has now become a movie series? What world do we live in? :( Great video Cinematic Excrement! Makes me laugh out loud :D Hope 2018 is an Awesome year too.

Apparently, helicopters are rather sensitive aircraft, or at least that was the case with copters from about a decade ago. With that in mind, sabotaging the copter might not have been too hard.

Regarding your rant at the end: You're absolutely right. The entire Golden Raspberry Foundation is a joke. They go after low-hanging fruit for cheap jokes, and some of the time it's through sheer coincidence that their choices for "worst" match critical consensus.

4:22 I just said that quote out loud and had no trouble not doing a British accent. But, I see your point.

I can't wait to see his 100th episode!! What is he gonna review for the 100th episode?

I've watched a few of this now, and from what I can tell, someone has twoo cinematic excitement for The Pwincess Bwide.

what a twist!

Congrats Sean. Next is your 100th episode.

I weep for all you sad souls who watched this movie... I have not, and WILL not ever see any of them. Nor will I Google the "Tampon scene" because I trust The Smeghead!!! Lookin forward to 100!!!

Same 50 Shades Darker was my worst movie of 2017 and yes its worse than the Emoji Movie

I already know about the tampon scene thanks to Lost in Adaptation. So I didn't Google it and yet I still know it! WTF!

I don't think I even remembered this was a thing last year. Guess we really have normalized creepers in Hollywood too much.

The movie: DISGUSTING. The review: chef's kiss.

I can actually say "we would have proper on-set barneys" in my head in an Australian accent

Good sir! I approve of your list of weird Al, Tom hanks. And Patrick Stewart!! Also Quinoa salads are amazing, anyone who wouldn't get the Quinoa salad has not had one!

Man your so close to 100 Sean

Thankfully the last movie is nearly out and hopefully that will be the end of it all. Goodbye and good riddance!

I was wondering if you would like to cover a Film called Dark Dungeons. It's on KZfaq and not hard to find and I think it would by an unintentional joy for you to review.

I'll just like to point out that the sex scene between Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella in Atomic Blonde is a million times more erotic and hardcore than ANYTHING that the Fifty Shades movies can throw at us (Hell, there's plenty of other movies from various genres out there that contain scenes that are more erotic and hardcore than this damn series) and, even more importantly, unlike Christian and Ana, Lorraine and Delphine's relationship was actually romantic!

so they took the restaurant scene from Sliver and made it fifty shades worse in terms of lighting and acting and strong characters? That's quite an achievement to mention.

Prayer answered, Weird Al Yankavic is a Christian, and he has worked on the Disney show "Milo Murphy's Law"

Called it! It's "Fifty Shade Dumber"

9:56-10:05: The Fifty Shades Franchise in a nutshell.

At least the tampon scene would have had some balls lol.

You doing the final film in the series?