I actually regret not spending more on my wedding. I wanted a really inexpensive, “chill” wedding but we had 80+ guests. My dad and brother cooked all the food which was amazing but I hardly saw them through the whole thing and when I did, they were sweaty and exhausted. The food was delicious but I wish I had just paid for catering so I could’ve had more time to dance and hang with the two of the most important people in my life.

Nothing exemplifies the absurdity of our consumer culture more brilliantly than a group of young friends who have a societal expectation to pay through the nose to be in each other's weddings, precisely at the same time their disposable income is likely shaky and their student loan debt balance is likely massive.

As a 2023 bride, THANK YOU. My fiance and I have had to nearly bully vendors into telling us the prices of things upfront. It's truly insane how much the wedding industry considers the cost of things to be optional information...

I'm getting sick of celebrating everyone else's milestones with my money while I sit here single, and not planning on hitting any of those milestones. Sorry, not sorry.

I'm old, but the wedding implied reciprocity was around in my day as well. Sadly, I am single and still paying the single surcharge. Adding insult to financial injury, in a number of cases the last time I socialized with a college or work friend was at their wedding, because single friends are easily shed after marriage. I never got married, had a baby or a housewarming, but spent several decades giving gifts to friends and colleagues for these events. I'm 63, with no nice kitchen or housewares except a few I bought for myself. I made the mistake of buying nice things for others (registry) instead of myself!

I realized in my late 20s that people don't talk about their financial failures, only their financial successes. Most people won't tell you that they are losing money day trading or managing properties. Most people won't tell you that the fancy clothes and furniture they own is from a ton of credit card debt. So celebrate others' successes with them, but realize that is not the whole picture and you should not hold yourself to their standard.

Let’s stop saying that getting married later in life means that you have more money. Money does not come with age. Normalize still struggling financially after age 30. I’ll be 40 when I’m at the level of purchasing power that my dad had at 25.

I traveled literally across the globe once for a wedding and still had to give a cash gift... I was like, "mate, I spent like $2000 alone on flights to get here!"

Agreed. Just turned down my friend's 4-day bach trip where flight + lodging alone cost $1000 without even factoring in activities, food, drinks, airport transport, etc. I would also need to take 2-3 days off work and I'm a freelancer, so that's another $1000 in lost wages. $100 on the bridesmaid dress, $700 to travel to her ACTUAL wedding, $200 cash gift... We're at $3,000! The entitlement of people's expectations is shocking.

It’s so weird watching videos like this where people are mentioning how often they go to weddings. I’m 37 and have only been to like 3 weddings in my entire life. So even thinking of 1 a year sounds extreme and this guy mentioned going to about 5 in one year! 🤯

I wish we as a society could come to the realization that the days of unlimited growth are over. The days of 2000 sq foot starter homes, 2 SUVs in the driveway, immediately after a wedding are over.

I've been a wedding photographer for well over a decade at this point and let me tell you, the best, most fun weddings I have attended have been under tents in peoples backyards.

OMG--the part about churning out wedding after wedding at a venue! Went to an incredibly expensive wedding at a very exclusive resort in Hawaii, where they did four weddings "at sunset" on the same beach. Each couple had twenty minutes, and the brides passed each other coming up and down the path to the beach. That just doesn't feel "my special day" to me!

I got married 9 years ago on a wedding which included 13 people and we had a lunch in a nice restaurant after the civil ceremony. This was wish of me and my husband. No particular gifts were exchanged. Nobody went into debt to be there. I had a designer dress, and my husband was wearing expensive suit. But this was a choice.

I cannot speak to other countries, but here in Singapore, there definitely is a wedding industrial complex, and it's specifically for weddings for ethnic Chinese people, the largest demographic in Singapore. When you get invited to a wedding, you are expected to give a cash gift that is equal to or more than how much your seat at the table for the wedding banquet would cost. There isn't a culture of a wedding gift registry - it's basically cash gifts only. If you're giving a material item to the couple, that's in addition to your cash gift. There are even helpful charts indicating how much is expected based on the venue. The fancier the venue, typically a hotel, the more a table would cost. Oftentimes, this is something that the couple themselves may not want, but that their parents want, as a means to flex. So if you're going for a wedding dinner as one guest, you are expected to pay between $200 and $400 a person, depending on the venue. If you're invited, you basically have no choice but to go and pay your share of the bill. It's not a "gift" - it's expected. It makes every wedding seem very calculative and in my opinion, sucks all of the joy out of it. A gift should be a gift, not an unspoken expectation.

I was a bridesmaid and I wouldn’t do it again unless it was someone I was closer to. It was a huge waste of time and money.

I'm a sociology professor and I love your discussion of social class ❤️

My best friend and her husband had a combined Batchelor and Bachelorette gathering, and we just went wine tasting in Temecula. It was $34 a person! It was really nice because we got to know the rest of the party and we had fun.

So true about celebrations being more expensive nowadays. Now it’s normal to have engagement parties, bridal showers, baby showers, kids birthday parties at whole venues with full decor, catering, professional photography. Growing up I saw those as at home celebrations but with social media there’s definitely pressure to go all out for e v e r y t h i n g

My husband and I got married 7 years ago and let me tell you, it was tough back then too. We had 95 guests from across the country: MA, RI, PA, NY, FL, GA, AL, IL, MO, CA, OH, MN. So the need to make a wedding that was worth the trip was intense. We ended up having the reception at an area winery and Orchard. It was beautiful, my guests had full access to the orchards, were allowed to go picking, we brought lawn games, plus music and dancing. We had an after party at the hotel and an after, after party the next afternoon. Basically it was a full weekend of fun. None of the crazy extras but it was a fun late afternoon outside. My guests loved it and they still remember it as a fun weekend