My 3 stepdaughters wore black at our marriage with their dad... 😂 yep, the first few years were tough!

The cleanest pillows I have ever seen!

I think most of us know not to outshine the bride or wear white/ivory. If a woman does, she's likely doing so. Brides, I hope you are more thoughtful than to expect your guests to wear high-end clothing or certain colors to match the "theme". Your bridal party will be doing that I would hope you would cherish the presence of your guests over luxury ensembles. Though the day truly is about you and your husband, don't toss to the curb the feelings and finances of your guests. Thanks.

I think we get goofy about rules. Don't wear white. Otherwise, just wear whatever you want to

I was always told never wear white or black to a wedding and until my late 40s I would have considered it inappropriate to ever wear pants to a wedding , or funeral. (That being said, I would never wear anything bright or floral to a funeral either.) I was raised with a lot of old, southern, manners. I must say, though, that I think brides these days are getting totally carried away with dictating what guests are expected to wear at their weddings. Specifying that a wedding is casual, formal, black tie, garden, etc. is fine, even asking guests to NOT wear a specific color is acceptable, having a theme is acceptable, BUT, it must be understood that not everyone will be able to adhere to your request. Deal with it! It doesn’t ruin your day if someone is dressed inappropriately. It is only ruined if you bring it to everyone’s attention or you cause a scene. Every wedding or funeral I’ve ever been to, there is someone who just doesn’t get it. There is always someone way over dressed or way underdressed. ALWAYS. The first time I went to a funeral for my husband’s side of the family there was a family that showed up looking like they maybe just paused doing yard work or something to run down to the funeral, and an elderly woman who, apparently, thought she was a bridesmaid at an 80s wedding. I later came to realize they came to every family event dressed the same way. On my side, I have a niece who always shows up in the height of fashion to show off that she has more money than the rest of us and a cousin, who can be described as a Bountiful Beauty, that shows up showing more skin than you would see at a beach. She is actually getting married soon and I am kind of excited to see what kind of wedding dress she comes up with, lol. What I am trying to say here is just let it go. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.

I always wear a ballgown to fancy Weddings... but in a pale colour, not white. I always check with the bride if my dress choice is permissible by her, of course. Looks great in photographs to show that I put the effort in. Princess Holly 🕊🌿🌳🌲🍀

I personally don’t like to see black at a wedding. Unless it’s goth, or a vey formal event. Navy blue is a great alternative to black. Unless formal I love to see upbeat, happy if you will, colors. Even patterns unless it looks like a moo-moo. Weddings are a celebration 🍾 I will be wearing a dress with fancy cowgirl boots to a Texas wedding coming up soon. I’ve never done that before. But the bride and groom requested. I’m excited to see the wedding!

Victoria wore an English cottage lace gown, which happens to be white. Lace was the equivalent of diamonds then. She was an empress. Context.

I didn’t think you were supposed to wear red either, because the color red really stands out; it’s a statement color. You can’t miss it.

The weddings I go to in the UK are all 'Morning Suits' (that is what men wear in the Royal Enclosure at Ascot - a tail suit and top hat. It is appropriate for women to wear Day clothes - not evening dress if the men are in tail suits. Smart Day clothes will cover most of your skin - so no decoletage , bare shoulders, or high splits in the skirt. Oh and also a hat.

My daughter’s brother in law’s wife wore white to my daughter’s wedding. I thought it was very tacky.

Although I would ALWAYS respect the wishes of the bride, my mother decided to wear her beaded ecru blouse and matching skirt to my wedding. I did NOT care!!! I also had a friend who wore a full-on white dress with matching white duster, and I did NOT care!! It didn't even occur to me that someone was trying to compete with me in dress. My self-esteem did not depend on anyone who dressed in ANY color. As I was attending law school at the time, I knew that everyone was just wearing what they had available. I was just thankful that those who could come to my wedding, did so. I'm now going to a wedding this summer and can't wear anything in my closet because of all of the color restrictions. This is NOT by bride's mandates; it is merely because of other people's expectations. So, I can't wear a white dress with blue trim because it is too white. I can't wear a white top with black skirt and a colorful scarf because I was told that both white and black were taboo colors. I look hideous in red, apricot, and pink, not to mention that as an older (plumper!) woman, I need something that flatters my figure. ARGGH!

mostly here in the philippines the entourage & the guest follow the color palette chosen by the bride as theme of the wedding,the colors are indicated on the invitations.definitely no white,its exclusive for the bride,and no black since it signifies sadness or grief as in a wake.

I’m so grateful to be attending weddings & celebrations again! Thanks for the tips!

I'm going to a wedding this weekend, perfect video. Thanks. Subscribed!

A friend of mine rolled her eyes when I mentioned her white outfit was inappropriate. She said, “well I won’t wear it to yours.”🤷🏻‍♀️

Yea I had someone wear a white (off white) dress at my wedding. It did feel a bit weird but it was very obviously not a wedding dress in its shape/design, and also I was too happy to be bothered. But yeah I guess its not knowledge to all 🫣🙈 I would NEVER do that myself! Going to a wedding this summer and not really sure about the dress code. It didnt say in the invite, but it all starts in the evening (7 pm). The bride is Syrian, and they are kind of known to be over the top glamourusly dressed, so I’m a bit nervous 😬 I have found a deess I like, its long (floor lenght) but not like a ball gown. Colorfull patterns in pinks, turquoise and some golden flecks. A little Maroccan inspired. Good or bad idea??? Its really pretty but I’m not sure if I should be wearing knee lenghth cocktail dress instead? Or ball gown? Is it too much or not enough??? I’m connected to the groom (he’s my cousins son) and I really don’t know the bride at all. Help??

Most of my guests wore black. It was kind of funny because my wedding was very colorful. One guest also wore white, but it was a simple pants outfit, and I really didn't care.

Our son got married on a llama farm in the smoky mountains. It was a wedding venue so we weren’t tromping around in the dirt. We were all asked to wear black. Men in tuxedo. It was quite unique. The bride won a beautiful sparkling black wedding gown. I wore a black lace dress.

It is a matter of taste for choosing a dress. I couldn’t wear any of the clothes you wear. I like long dresses with sleeves.

Once I wore black but with yellow accessories, shoes, handbag, earrings and necklace

A friend got married at Christmas time and it was an formal wedding I wore a beautiful red dress(so I thought) silk like yours hadn’t heard the saying about a red dress I didn’t even really know the groom did I commit a big faux paux

I am an Episcopal priest and was the officiant at the last wedding I attended. I wore a cassock, surplice and a special white lace stole for the ceremony. But I wore a pink dress over my clergy shirt and collar for the reception!

Great tips!!! It is sometime s difficult to know what to choose for a wedding...

My brother and sister-in-law had their bridal party wear black when they got married.

Love your wine red dress! So beautiful!

Beautiful video. Thank you gery much for some wonderful inspiration ❤️💜💚

If you're not sure ask the bride directly. Each bride has her own idea of what is or isn't ok.

I attended the wedding of a friend’s son and his bride had all the bridal attendants and mother’s of bride and groom and grandmothers wear white.

I bought a gold dress but decided to return it, due to it being an older bride and just a reception. I have no idea what she'll wear and many older brides opt out of pure white/ivory

You look lovely. Loved this video.

What should I wear to my granddaughter's Boho themed Autumnal afternoon wedding? She's open to anything, but I don't want to over or under dress for it. Your help would be invaluable. I'm a nurse and don't often dress up.

Do you think a knee length straight waist black background with many different colors embroidery flowers is appropriate to dress for a considered formal wedding?

Can I wear a transparent pair of shoes with crystal accessory on it to a wedding? They are pumps and I have a green dress to match. Don’t wanna accidentally upstage the bride 😅. Thanks

Wow!!! Those are very KOOL pretty dresses😍

Thank you very much for the wonderful informative video!

Hats and fascinations are appropriate to wear

I love the fabric of your red dress with the feathers added to the lower section of the dress. What kind of fabric is that? It looks shiny, or shimmery. I want one in black, it's so attractive on you.

What you are wearing, ?? Was that a recommend ?- I missed it , but to me looks lovely for New Years Eve - not a spring wedding.

Great video and stunning dresses 👗

I still like traditional❤

Not white, black, grey, red or pink. Edit: If in church, as a guest, cover your shoulders. That dress you have on is ok, but where are the sleeves and/or jacket? A short sleeve is ok.

Great information. Thank you so much.

Unless I am part of the wedding party or family, I avoid wearing the wedding colors as well.

Thank you. What if you don't like wearing dresses? And all of yours are sleeveless. My arms are not pretty and I don't want anything that doesn't have 3/4 sleeves. I love your choices, but they are not for the people who don't have your body type. Can you show practical and inexpensive choices for the rest of us please? Thank you.

Is that blue and white not too much white?

Every wedding in my country have theme colour so we wear that

My tv showed kate middleton wearing, to meghan's wedding, a coat that looks suspiciously white - maybe in real life it was some sort of pastel, but it looked white on my tv.

*2 rules* 1) no white 2)don't make it outshine the bride like a massive puffy bright dress

I worked with a nice woman but she had little to no common sense. We were both going to a mutual friend’s wedding. I told her she needed to wear underwear, which she rarely did. I should have told her how to dress as well. She came to the wedding in a short white lace dress. I couldn’t believe it. She said, don’t you like my dress and I said yes, very pretty but not appropriate. She couldn’t understand why until I told her that a white lace dress is what the bride usually wears, not the guests.

your red dress is so beautiful, would love to know where its from? :)

You don’t wear black to weddings around here. Black tie means cocktails. Short dress, not evening gown. White tie is long dress.

Question. Is it ok to wear formal pants or suits in a wedding?

Nice dress

Not black, white or red unless the invitation requests those colors be worn.

I'd still be sure its ok with the bride and groom about the black. Some people still aren't ok with it.

How about if I want to wear blue shoes ? Nowadays brides wear blue shoes ..

What about wearing the same color as the wedding party?

As a direct descendant of the very fashionable and erudite Sir Dickie Stickapopple we always wear a black bowler hat with an ostrich feather prominent,preferably to the front and at a jaunty angle,this denotes noble origins with some unexplained flaws in pedigree. The dress code requires a family Kilt and indeed a Sporran made from the private regions of a Himalayan Yak,the ensemble is complete only with red Wellington Boots ,yup that's us ,,mad as a bag of frogs !

Shoulders should be covered

The only very nice dress I own happens to be red tea length dress and I do not have much money to buy a new dress. Should I just wear this red tea length dress I already own or is this too flashy? If so i'll try to go thrifting for an afordable alternative.

Hello Heidi! Thanks for this video. I would appreciate some input. I am attending my other half's daughter's wedding end of October. Ceremony and reception outdoors in a covered area starting at 4pm at a fancy ranch with fall colors decor. Sunday Best attire! The groomsmen are wearing all black tuxes, bridal party satin dresses in fall colors. Bride said I can wear my color and style of choice. I will be escorted in. Sunday's Best has me confused. Forecast right now expected to be 75 cooling to about 56 later. Thoughts and insight?

I thought red was a no no

Excited to be invited to weddings?? NO! 🙄 How about DREADING IT....at least Summer weddings! All the rules are exhausting enough, but most brides are young and not thinking of older guest's concerns - at least not women guests - such as: 1) Why are they always getting married in the Summer??? Do they think we all want to be sweating with nice clothes on and frizzy hair and make up melting?? Why would THEY, themselves want to be hot and uncomfortable in an expensive wedding dress? I've never understood this! 2) And some of us don't like our bodies and don't want to be in sleeveless, strapless styles which is 90% of what everyone wears and what designers make. Even some of us that are ok with our bodies are more conservative and feel more comfortable covered. I always said these things even in my 20s, but now well into my 40s having MASSIVE hot flash issues and a bit of weight redistributed (and not in the right places 🤷‍♀️) what are we to do?? If someone invited me to an evening wedding in October or November, I'd have many things to wear! I own great black dresses - some with pretty embellishments (like the dress you're wearing here in this video) but all thats out there in stores or online for Summer are florals (which I despise.) Therefore, even though black is accepted now, I think its a bit much for a 🌞 Summer wedding in the sunny mid-day. Also age is an issue. 40s and 50s are that awkward, in-between midlife time where we shouldn't dress too young or revealing, yet we don't want to choose styles that make us look old and frumpy. Ugh. I've been hunting for something to wear to a June wedding that has longer sleeves, and below the knee and its been like finding a needle in haystack. I just told a friend the spring/summer dresses offered are either hideous florals that look like something from Little House on the Prairie, or my Grandmother's closet ... OR... skimpy dresses that look like I work as a stripper!!! Sadly, there is VERY little in-between those two extremes.

Red, groom, black, funerary, white, no no, blah, blah, blah. I have no intention of buying any new clothing. I have two "wedding " dreses. Both are black. No one will suffer by what I wear. The "rules" about red or purple in reference to the groom made my eyes roll. Get a grip, people. Everyone will be looking at the bride.

Wear anything but white

Black and white? Unless requested by the bride, I would still say no.

What’s the rule about wearing red?

Don’t wear a white dress. Isn’t that the only rule?

Hello, my son is getting married this coming October in Massachusetts in a rural town in Berkshire County. I have a beautiful black patterned evening cocktail dress that is similar shape to the one you’re wearing. It’s a Jacki-O feature neckline with a jewel. I wanted to wear boots considering it’s an outdoor ceremony at the country club and it’s probably going to be chilly at 4 o’clock it’s certainly going to be dark. Am I allowed to wear boots with a 2 inch heel no black traditional? Thank you! It’s pretty casual over here lol

Someone told me that wearing purple to a wedding means you had/have a crush on the bride/groom is it true

Is is really such a big deal??

As far as I know there is absolutely NOTHING that can possibly upstage a bride. If people wear inappropriate clothing they will be either sneered at or laughed at behind hands. There are only two "prohibited" colours for weddings, black and, of course, white. You are wrong Heidi, it is never okay to wear black no matter how much etiquette has evolved.

I thought it would be near impossible to upstage a bride. All eyes are always on the bride, just wear what you want.

I personally wouldn't wear anything with that much white in it, personally !

I thought you were going to say the dress you’re wearing is what not to wear. Wearing red means you slept with the groom. His dress is right on the edge.

Well, whatever, but I still wouldn't wear black to a wedding.

I personally wouldn't wear black to a wedding and have yet to see anyone in black at a wedding

I will wear whatever i want! Who Cares!!!“ Who says” these “ rules”!

Just don’t wear a white satin dress that looks like a wedding dress. It’s ridiculous to tell people they can’t wear a color.

Yes. Tell it to Princess Kate Middleton wearing white dress at the wedding of Meghan 😂😂😂

That black spider web all over the bottom of her red dress does not look good.

Don’t wear white, black ( not a funeral) nor red.

Bro I wore a red mini dress with safety shorts even in wedding guest but trust me no one was looking told old me anything to take off or anything they were just enjoying the wedding dont listen to this woman!. She want yall to look like trash bag

someone told me that wearing red to a wedding means you've slept with the groom 😳

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Too much yak yak. Just say which colours and which not to wear.

I always think: try not to wear red, or white, and keep it well fitted but conservative.

Wearing red to a wedding means that you slept with the groom.