Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM | REACTION

Рет қаралды 37,272

2 жыл бұрын

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Пікірлер: 143

@CommisarHood 2 жыл бұрын

Cain: I'm a lying, cowardly piece of shit! Amberley Vail: No you're MY lying, cowardly piece of shit! Cain: Aw thanks babe. Vail: But if I find out you're cheating on me with an Ultra Marine Chapter Master you'll be my DEAD, lying, cowardly piece of shit... okay? Cain: (Gulp) Fair Enough.

@SollowP 2 жыл бұрын

I love how jealous Amberly was in her footnotes when Cain was with the planetary governor's daughter.

@robertnelson9599 10 ай бұрын

@@SollowP That was really funny since that had occurred years before Cain and Vail met.

@aquilesgarciaperez5918 2 ай бұрын

Cain: i'm such a Piece of Shit!! *Also cain that same Day fighting a Chaos Space Marine 1v1 to save a harmless Child*

@TheRyderShotgunn 2 жыл бұрын

ciaphas cain died of the rarest cause of death in the imperium... he died of OLD AGE

@weldonwin 2 жыл бұрын

I like to imagine that was just the official cover story and he died of a massive heart attack, while having sex with Amberley

@ambrosiogiovanni6952 Жыл бұрын

Allegedly. He will always be on ACTIVE DUTY in our hearts.

@DogKacique 7 ай бұрын

Until we discovered that he's so unlucky that he was buried near some Necron item that will inevitably bring him back, or something

@argentin2306 7 ай бұрын

@@DogKaciqueeven better, due to the fights he had with tyranids, Cain absorbed an insanely rare spore that carried a gene which grants the user with immortality and regeneration under specific conditions, it's a matter of time before said conditions happen and bring Cain back to life

@BadluckJack5731 5 ай бұрын

@@argentin2306 the emperor gives his toughest battle to his sillies servants.

@RightBackAction 2 жыл бұрын

Ah yes Marneus and Cain. The friendship of absolute lies and lucky victories. Been waiting for you to watch this!

@bloodhunter07 2 жыл бұрын

Mood kindred

@ratkingjr.9560 2 жыл бұрын

@@bloodhunter07 Cain: "are.... are you also a piece of shit?"

@bloodhunter07 2 жыл бұрын

@@ratkingjr.9560 [ Ultra warm chuckle ] yes ....YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASSS

@Broomer52 Жыл бұрын

Best part is Marneus isn’t even Marneus. He knew the real Marneus when they were kids and Marneus died an unfortunate death, because they were both blonde children he took his place as a recruit to the Ultramarines and became a legendary Ultra Marine who’s entire identity is a lie that he can’t tell anyone because who knows what his brothers would do if they found out he was an imposter.

@user-pm3wk6lw6m 10 ай бұрын

Tbf tho, Cain is a badass on top of that. True 40k Gigachad.

@KhaosAdmiral 2 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain: I am a Coward Also Ciaphas Cain: I just fought an Ork Warboss Mano a Mano and won

@acrab6527 2 жыл бұрын

I fenced with a 4 armed genestealer patriarch for 5 minutes with just one sword, but I'm totally unimpressive.

@LeDouche123 2 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain the "i goaded and fought a (Space Marine)Khornate Berserker mano e mano and survive, but that's totally unimpressive cause Jurgen was the one who killed him."

@AmadeyAzalin 2 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas "my armor of lies and self-doubt is so thick Slaanesh demon can't really affect my mind" Cain. Or Ciaphas "I just tried to survive and somehow managed to organize active effective combat force to beat Orks" Cain

@acrab6527 2 жыл бұрын

@@AmadeyAzalin Yeah He just was running away, and everyone saw an officer and followed until he built an army.

@bobsickle2336 2 жыл бұрын

It was more Mano a Mano Plus another mano with a meltagun

@SollowP Жыл бұрын

4:46 Ahhh Jurgen, the best god damed driver in the Imperium. It's even mentioned in the books that even though Jurgen is probably one of the most reckless drivers that the Imperial Guard has to offer, he's absolutely amazing at it. He could drift slide a salamander and do a perfect parallel parking between a space just an inch bigger than the salamander itself. In honestly, that's probably how he'd do it as well if Cain told him to. And Cain would have it no other way. Even mentions multiple times that he'd rather be sitting in a salamander with Jurgen at the helm than anything else.

@prestonjones1653 10 ай бұрын

Cafés, cemeteries, and Imperial Governors' Mansions are but speedbumps, don't mind the screaming.

@aquilesgarciaperez5918 2 ай бұрын

And he has that Weird Pariah Gene like the Sister of Silence, that also saved Cain from a Slaanesh Cultist.

@82MPN 2 жыл бұрын

Cain = Luck of all the universe / Marneus = Plotarmor thicker than grandfahter Nurgles bloated skin

@DamnDaimen 2 жыл бұрын

0:36 Lorewise, the Imperium has him listed as MIA forever, because they kept listing him KIA, he would turn up, and they would have to change their records. The imperium. Changing. Their records. They decided it would be cheaper to pay him. FOREVER. Than it would be to keep changing his status from KIA to alive. 4:45 Also....this is exactly what the books are. His memoirs. Admitting his fraudulence. The reaction of the Inquisitors who read this: blacklist this instantly. Never admit anything. I mean, he still did the things we attribute to him, so keep his admitted cowardice a secret. Cain did give an Inquisitor the rough draft of his memoires because he knew their reaction, so they just kinda....let it slide.

@boulderaidanthe1st100 2 жыл бұрын

Said Inquisitor/Girlfriend does also state she believes he’s to hard on himself and judges he’s own choices and actions to harshly. Considering all of his memoirs were written while he was retired at the schola it’s been either decades or potentially over a century since the events of the books.

@Specter515 2 жыл бұрын

This explains why he is the only commissar who remains on the active roster despite being buried with full military honors.

@brigidtheirish Жыл бұрын

@@boulderaidanthe1st100 Which is almost certainly accurate considering he'll describe himself doing something very much *not* cowardly and then give some half-assed excuse as to why it actually *was* cowardly and selfish.

@southanime Жыл бұрын

I like to think Cain actually died peacefully of old age in a peaceful world. BUT being so unlucky his soul now roams the immaterium giving his overwhelming luck to the cowards, liars and people who need it in the imperium.

@sodinc Жыл бұрын

@@southanime he has a cult in ecclesiarhy dedicated to him. They totally can pray enough to make him an undying saint, like Celestine.

@O-P-96 2 жыл бұрын

About Marneus Calgar being a piece of shit, remember how the Ultramarines are that OP in the series (as well as in canon)? Well, unless I'm wrong, this is because of Matt Ward, who was a writer at GW as well as a huge Ultramarines fanboy. In TTS, it seems that after (or during) the Tyranids attack on Macragge, Marneus made a deal with him to save the Ultramarines (or make sure they would never lose or something) which Marneus now regrets (it's hinted a few times in TTS that this is what happened). If I'm correct, he was also responsible for the "Baby Carrier" and that event where the Grey Knights smeared their armor with Sisters of Battle blood before it was retconned.

@polca4love 2 жыл бұрын

Does people call the pact "The Warding", or is it too lame and obvious? And how does people call the covenant between Abbadon and whoever wrote the fall of Cadia to stop being failbbadon?

@sebb999995 2 жыл бұрын

Im pretty sure that the whole thing is a jab at the fact that no matter what they do or how ''dire'' a situation gets, neither Marneus nor Cain can loose. That's how i took it anyway. I mean they spent a large portion of an episode going through a bunch of scenarios that didn't make sense. And immediately afterwards having Marneus getting mad at the fact that they had succeeded again. But i like your take on it a bit more

@brigidtheirish Жыл бұрын

@@polca4love I'm convinced that Failbbadon just threw the black stone fortress at the planet as part of an astartes-level tantrum, not realizing that would achieve his goals. The rest is PR.

@larrytherustyboii7442 Жыл бұрын

@sebb999995 I read a comment that marneus isn't marneus at all, he was just some random nobody kid who pretended to be his best friend who was a noble and talented lad (cuz his friend died). So that alone could be the reason why he thinks of himself as a POS, because he is a fraud living someone else's life.

@raylenn4444 6 ай бұрын

@brigidtheirish from what i could read in the novels detailing his crusades, it seels like he indeed had a specific goal in mind for each.

@LukasJampen Жыл бұрын

Ah yes Cain one of the honestly best Comissars and fighters in all of the imperial guard who actually has a survival instinct and constantly downplays his own achievements.

@bogustoast22none25 19 күн бұрын

I feel bad for him though, he DOES have imposter syndrome. He IS a coward. and he remembers every person that has died under his command. I just hope that at the end of it all, The Emperor himself tells him something like "Everything you did, whether for selfishness or cowardice, DID help people, you DID make the Imperium a better place, and sure you might not be what people make you out to be, but you DID do everything they say you did. I saw both your best and worst, and at no point did you do anything that would make me feel ashamed of you, you were human, after all." Or something like that, he truly does deserve someone judging all of him and find him worthy.

@jtfbreedlove 2 жыл бұрын

That song is in your head, forever. Who else wants a ghostly commissar to show up in lore as a result of the guards faith in Cain and the actual splinter cult on Tallarn that considers him an incarnation of the emperors will or something like that.

@tomicbranislav3 Жыл бұрын

Ohh yeah that would be awesome 😎

@martinsvec1851 Жыл бұрын

so he´d be the guards saint celestine, Saint commisar cain

@aaronstorey9712 Жыл бұрын

@@martinsvec1851 and Yarrick now

@gabrielandradeferraz386 7 ай бұрын

"Frack this, for my faith is a shield proof against your blandishments" Saint Ciaphas Cain, Prophet of the Emperor's will, as depicted on The Book of Cain, Chapter IV, Verse XXI, by Alem Mahat, a first degree witness to the events.

@danielschneider5280 2 жыл бұрын

Been reading the Ciaphas Cain books...they are great and easy to read. I love this video a lot; it is funny as hell. (here is comes) BUT Ciaphas Cain, though selfish for this life, is actually a very effective strategist and warrior. He never lied about his service...he just never 'corrected' anyone. Shit, he stopped an all out war on a planet because he calmed the Tau with their OWN words...without knowing their meaning.(once again, fearing for his own life but shit haven't we all my good man.) P.S Jurgen is a BEAST combatant. Ciaphas Cain has gone on record that he detest the Holo dramas(movies) based on his exploits because they keep forgetting to put Jurgen in them.

@SollowP Жыл бұрын

Jurgen is probably the only person who Cain trusts with his life. He'd rather have Jurgen by his side than a trained Space Marine.

@MrLekorrigan Жыл бұрын

@@SollowP Jurgen is almost storm trooper level and the know each other well, they are a really fearsome duo, I love in the books how he consistently find the openings in cain's fighting style to roast his enemies with the melta

@SollowP Жыл бұрын

@@MrLekorrigan Or when Jurgen gives cain just half a second warning before firing off the melta. Jurgen knowing full well that Cain would hear the warning, and Cain knowing full well that the melta was absolutely necessary at that moment.

@DanteTheDemon7 2 жыл бұрын

Ah yes Ciaphas Cain the Imperium’s own Harry Flashman, although Cain is by far the better person.

@vattmann1387 2 жыл бұрын

I find him a a nice middle ground between Flashman and Blackadder, but actually with a good heart despite his denials.

@NSUSashiel 2 жыл бұрын

The Ciaphas Cain books have some repetitions in writing but they are great. Jurgen MVP forever. HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!

@MrSamulai 10 ай бұрын

I've kinda grown to like the repetitions. Like, Cain is an extremely traumatized old man reliving his most repressed memories, and who for the most of his life hid behind same old platitudes, stories and fake personas. Recalling same familiar patterns and writing about them in a similar manner would be both on brand and an expected coping mechanism. Still doesn't explain why it's gotta be the tyranids every single time I swear

@NSUSashiel 10 ай бұрын

@@MrSamulai Just before I get shot, I blame Amberley's editing.

@liszarezo3658 2 ай бұрын

@@NSUSashiel All her work are also later cenzored.

@NSUSashiel 2 ай бұрын

@@liszarezo3658 Don't say that, you'll get shot. It was just redacted. For the Emprah.

@trifontrifonov4297 2 жыл бұрын

Just for the fact that we will never see more of Cain and of the Text to Speech universe is enough to curse GW for the rest of eternity.

@AmadeyAzalin 2 жыл бұрын

What did happen?

@trifontrifonov4297 2 жыл бұрын

@@AmadeyAzalin The channel has discontinued any Warhammer series, because GW went around burning down fan channel and fan made content to the ground. Bruva Alfabusa decided not to risk being sued over it. If he was a single he would've risked it, but he has a wife and a new born kid (thus the dip in uploads), so he could not risk it He did start a new show , set in the World of Darkness. A rough start, but it's started getting really good.

@AmadeyAzalin 2 жыл бұрын

@@trifontrifonov4297 i am dedicated WoD fan, but still too bad about TTS. GW keeps shooting itself

@MrHellsing76 2 жыл бұрын

Man, you really gotta check out the audiobooks for him, almost all of them are fucking Amazing, Cain is such a fun character to read. Traitor's Hand is by far one of the best as we get Cain stuck between a Slaanesh chaos cult and a Khornate invasion. I just got some Ciaphas and Jurgen models for the printer, I can't wait to get them done up lol.

@scout360pyroz 2 жыл бұрын

For me the highlights of that are the other commissar watching in slacked-jawed awe and envy as Cain's bullshit is shoved in his face again and again. Cain stole his dreams without even trying or wanting the fame, accolades, and connections he achieved.

@THExRISER 2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a fun week, thanks for the recommendation.

@zartan2298 2 жыл бұрын

Ma boy Cain needed that hug.

@johnradetzki1860 4 ай бұрын

So, hear me out... I heard a theory that the blueberry boys have such a high success rate because the orks believe blue is a lucky color. On that same note, my headcanon for Cain is that he DEFINITELY wears blue boxers. The BRIGHTEST of blue.

@AW-sx8hm Ай бұрын

The brightest of blue but he does need to change them often 😅

@ordakhan631 2 жыл бұрын

The chainsaw sword horn kills me every time. 🤣

@sword4005 2 жыл бұрын

yeah i expect him to be reborn as a imperial saint, and hate every minute of being alive again

@nikot.9920 2 жыл бұрын

Wow, its been forever since I've seen this skit. I remember laughing so hard when Marneus said 'Mood Kindred' 🤣🤣🤣 truly a great play on the poster children of the humans in 40k

@SirMarshalHaig 2 жыл бұрын

There is a nice Warhammer-Star Wars crossover on KZfaq, where someone might mention Cain´s fate after his last death, but that is fanfiction material...I still liked it a lot.

@lmjpc1 Жыл бұрын

Marneus isn’t the real marneus, he was a slave for the original who had died and took his name and place amongst the astartes

@AximandTheCursed 2 жыл бұрын

"I name thee; Maloq Kartho, your true and mortal name!" -Captain Uriel Ventris, Ultramarines 4th Company, addressing Daemon Prince M'Kar

@TH-rj4ds 2 жыл бұрын

I use either the Cain or Gaunt's Ghosts books to introduce people to the 40k fiction. The best part of his books is that by wanting to avoid the fight, he ends up in the absolute think of it, but when there, always comes out on top. The editing by the Inquisitor, helps point out that he's a really complex coward.

@Aurilion44 2 жыл бұрын

Or an incredibly brave man... with incredibly debilitating impostor syndrom. Plus, IIRC he still remember the faces of those planetary self defense soldiers he ordered to shoot. Cain is a good man

@Phoenix8492 2 жыл бұрын

The Imperial holoreels will tell you that Ciaphas Cain charged heroically into battle against Chaos, the Necrons, Tyranids and the Eldar. Do not be fooled: he ran _screaming_ from Chaos and the Necrons, Tyranids and the Eldar.

@weldonwin 2 жыл бұрын

Aside from the times he actually DID charge at them, because it was his best shot at surviving to do so. As Cain himself says, a near suicidal slim chance of surviving, is better than the absolute certainty of death

@bohorquez92 15 күн бұрын

Cain: Stop giving me your hardest battles Big E: you're my luckiest boy

@aquilesgarciaperez5918 Ай бұрын

The way Cain was initially scared of Marneus was funny 😂😂😂

@McGrewer 2 жыл бұрын

The Ultramarine Chapter Master didn't do anything *specifically* , I mean, he has done a lot of impossible stuff. But it's more of the Ultramarines in general that are *too* perfect.

@CountDVB Жыл бұрын

I thought it was implied he made a deal with some sort of entity (implied to be the author that liked the Ultramarines) to empower his men after alot of them got slaughtered.

@AustinFoss00 2 жыл бұрын

Ok so the thing with Cain, is that even though he definitely based most of his decisions on his own survival, and dumb luck. He did genuinely also go out of his way to protect the soldiers under his command and his ability to relate with his soldiers and treat them nice gave his men a huge morale boost. He also was a pretty good fighter and tactician. A female Inquisitor (he was definitely banging) even went on to say that despite Cain thinking of himself as a fraud, he was a genuinely good soldier and leader. He just didn't really recognize that of himself. Also, with Marneus, this is because back when Matt Ward was with Game Workshop he made Marneus and the UltraMarines way too OP and never lose. But since he left, the UltraMarines have actually been on the incline of being great again to read about in the lore.

@michaelmerritt7406 2 жыл бұрын

He had a really, really bad go at it the first time he saw combat and failed upwards, still getting a victory that made it seem like he won it for the Imperium. And now he spends his life thinkinh he's a cowardly piece of shit.

@JeanLucCaptain 2 жыл бұрын

GW: ULTRA SMURFS OUR OUR BOI! THEY ALWAYS WIN WMAHAHAHAAHA! Commisar Cain: HOW THE HELL DID I SURVIVE THAT?!?! I AM SO SICK OF COMING WITHIN AN INCH OF DEATH AND THEN ESCAPING IT AND SAVING THE DAY THROUGH WELL WRITTEN COMEDIC STORYTELLING!!!!!

@xenaryo 2 жыл бұрын

aaah the sweet voice of takahata101. I may open the pandora box but!... Hellsing ultimate abiridged reaction?

@georgeanderson3740 2 жыл бұрын

Best Warhammer character ever!! I Can read his books for days

@Llangion 2 жыл бұрын

Love your vids

@d_3634 2 ай бұрын

Sad thing with Cain is that despite the imposter syndrome he us actually inaanely skilled. Like apparently he has fought and beat chaos space marines in melee combat before. (Yeah sure he has a blank by his side most of the time and that surely weakened them) Even if they were weakened they were still inhuman fighters with hundreds if not thousands of years of combat and Cain is skilled enough to not insta die to them

@SoDevious 2 жыл бұрын

He also watched his Primarch "die" right in front of him..

@keithwalski6822 2 жыл бұрын

its great that tts did a lore video

@gokbay3057 2 жыл бұрын

CI-! CI-! CIAPHAS CAIN! HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!

@flintson2268 Жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain one of the greatest mortal hero’s of the imperium

@banditbro25 3 ай бұрын

To explain why they're "Mood Kindred" Basically Ultra Marines are gifted with Horse shit luck because of the Orks always believing "Blue is da luckiest ones so wear blue for good luck!" And due to Ork logic (Think of it like Sword logic from Destiny) if enough Orks believe it, it'll be real. Whereas Cain is in the boat of having Horseshit luck because the Chaos Gods think it'd be fuckin funny to shove 40 Horseshoes up his ass at birth basically since, while he's a great warrior actually (dude took out Chaos Marines in a 2v1 and won) but dude had a habit of pulling the safe card when he could even when ordered to do the dangerous job, and it worked out in the end because of his caution. Hell Jurgen helps on that BS at times too since the dude is a BEAST of a sencond to Cain, being a badass behind the wheel, a badass in combat, and a badass guard to Cain if he doesn't want people to bug him.

@payday7679 2 жыл бұрын

Discounting the children’s card games this is my favourite

@alfreddelcrow9941 2 жыл бұрын

Cain is just the best basta*d in the commissary hands down 😁

@City-Hunter 2 жыл бұрын

*What a CHAD!*

@TheOl4x4 2 жыл бұрын

Subscribed for more Ciaphas content.

@coxmania1 2 жыл бұрын

it's prounounced KIAFAS KAIN dammit

@Julian-vl7vn 2 жыл бұрын

PLS react to Wamuudes Top 20 primarchs from tts

@barabbabaruffa9289 2 жыл бұрын

P L E A S E

@gokbay3057 2 жыл бұрын

THIRDED!

@maxacorn 7 ай бұрын

ciapahas is like the reverse zapp barnagan. zapp really believes he's a awesome commander but really he's just lucky and stupid. ciaphas knows he's a fraud and a sham who got lucky a bunch but he's really a great leader and warrior.

@Wasker20233 Жыл бұрын

This guy gives me homelander vibes sort off

@omabrax0555 2 жыл бұрын

Mood Kindred

@gampie13 2 жыл бұрын

not to take away from the 40k, but i cant unhear alucard ever after vellsing abridge^^

@chrisbird4913 Жыл бұрын

The Latin pronunciation of C is a hard C so it is pronounced Kiafus Kain.

@noonbigboss4060 2 жыл бұрын

React to part two of putis engage extreme with captions please

@jesusherman5985 2 жыл бұрын

you should react to preysight from vox in the void best storytelling ever

@themalcontent100 2 жыл бұрын

Watch fiveish minute lore. Great and funny series.

@Inny1984 2 жыл бұрын

Candy Cane ;)

@Kainlarsen 2 жыл бұрын

They got his voice wrong, but this was great!

@andreanecchi5930 2 жыл бұрын

please look at that on sly marbo , kalgar maybe feels like a piece of shit because he take his name from the real kalgar?

@hadesdogs4366 2 жыл бұрын

It is nice to see what being a guardsmen looks like or how their days usually are such as being dinner for tyranids but it’s nice to see the guard being well guard, where they are laughed at for their incompetence or just human wave style of warfare which is kinda true. However the guard of put into modern terms would easily out do any modern military where a single vox com beed is capable of communicating to someone from over a thousand miles away vs radios, and not only that but the ability to jump or attach a com beed into a wider net just speaks volumes of just how capable they actually are and these don’t even use satellites these are no larger than an airpod and yet is able to link with a planetary wide coms system in which can be further boosted with either a vox relay or even with a vox back pack or even a tank and the guard flack armor is more capable than the best modern body armor we have today, and it’s only because things like say a necrom gauss flayer or high explosive anti tank rounds fired from a bolter exists would be like saying that a lv5 modern ballistic plate should be capable of stopping a tank round, and again the guard are capable of more complex tactics, and mostly suffer due to poor or out classed equipment whilst being made to mass produce armies of soldiers, whilst ensuring that everyone has enough of everything to survive and be able to perform their functions and when you factor in planetary revolutions or delays in logistics such as a agricultural world turning to chaos, then those forces meant to stop a tau invasion are then sent to deal with the problem all the while several worlds which were wholeheartedly reliant on said agri worlds foods, in turn causes mass starvation and mass rebellions causing a massive chain reaction and so you have to deal with said problems without causing or effecting a different problem all together.

@FakutoVT Жыл бұрын

both are tired of win

@essexclass8168 2 жыл бұрын

Iirc M42 Calgar also thought himself a piece of shit after harboring thoughts of being left out by Papa G who started adventuring with Cato Sicarius since Calgar had to house sit while Indomnitus was going on. The whole Horus/Luthor situation happened except Calgar mentally flagellated himself while also redoubling his efforts.

@Dimetropteryx 2 жыл бұрын

How is he lucky?

@KhaosAdmiral 2 жыл бұрын

Headcanon, I like to think all of the luck of the Lamenters got put into Cain.

@Dimetropteryx 2 жыл бұрын

@@KhaosAdmiral I mean, in what sense is he lucky? He seems to wish for an uneventful career and staying out of danger, and that's specifically what he's denied, over and over and over, no matter how hard he tries. And whenever he has the obvious misfortune to be thrown into dangerous situations, he gets himself out of it not by luck, but by being competent. The one time I can point to when he was legitimately just lucky, was when Jurgen was assigned as his aide.