*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

It is! They’re so convincing you think you’ve found the one…but you’ve found the one demon who will destroy your life. Run!!!

Sadly we are watching these videos trying to look back and see if something was off. After we are caught in the spider’s web.

When it seems to good to be true, and there's just something about them that you can't put your finger on, listen to your intuition that's your soul telling you something is not right, thanks Christina have a great week everyone 🙏🦋

Gifts. Beware of gifts. The purposes of gifts are not to express affection, show appreciation, or be a generous spirit. The purposes are (1) to fool you into thinking they are that kind of person, and (2) to instill in you a sense of obligation, so you feel like you can't say no to all the requests that inevitably follow.

I think I'll become a monk. Constantly watching for relationship red flags is giving me a headache.

Love bombing happened in my entire marriage, until I discovered he was living a lie and I began challenging his behavior. THEN came his Cheating and all of it.

Narcissist portrays you as the perfect love of their life. With the passage of time they will take everything from you and will end up depleted, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and probably financially. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

My ex said he loved me in 2 weeks. I'm not sure if he's a narc or not but it made me scared. He didn't know me. He only talked about himself and his job the whole time we ever talked and boom now you love me? And I'm perfect for you, the most beautiful woman in the world, and your soulmate. Yeah, it was cringy every time he said those things. And he repeated it like a broken record no personalized compliments. Bragged to all his cop buddies about me showing them my pictures smh. I'm shy so I don't care about that type of attention. I liked him nothing more. How did we skip the liking phase and go straight to love? It took the fun part out of falling in love. It didn't feel sincere.

A ruthless predator that instinctively lures its prey...

I had never experienced this before…the extent of the love bombing. Didn’t know the term “love bombing”. A long time friend, I use the term friend loosely now, started love bombing me. Even talked about flying to Vegas to get married. When I began to trust him and reciprocate the words he wanted to hear, he stopped the love bombing and started talking about his past girlfriends and his “hot” neighbor. He lost interest, devalued me, pretended like nothing happened and dropped me like a hot potato. I was so confused !!! I finally discovered what this behavior was and have gone no contact.

There used to be a narcissist on KZfaq but she deleted her channel. She explained that she loved bombed because that's how she wanted to be treated. Put on a pedestal and worshipped. Since they lack empathy they assume everyone else is like that too. She started to devalue and discard because they weren't treating her that way in return and became resentful.

There are really some people out here that are really nice and just want to make the person in their lives to feel special and that they care about them. Doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them.

Everything that you mentioned was part of the last relationship that I was in. He would throw fits when I tried to slow things down. He was doing the MOST constantly by sending money, flowers to me and even my mom. He was ring shopping and sent my mom gifts and flowers. In one of the deliveries he signed the card "your future son-in-law" I broke things off and have remained no contact.

Interesting that 5-6 out 7 I was guilty of and she was the narcissist. Within a loving context many of these things are natural. The difference is authenticity. I love-bombed out of love. Narcissists love bomb out of manipulation.

The Circle of Trauma-Bonding: 1. Idealization Phase = LOVE BOMBING 2. Devaluation 3. Discard 7 Signs of Love Bombing: 1. Very early on telling you, "I love you!" 2. You become the center of their life 3. They ask you very personal questions, especially about your vulnerabilities 4. They can feel like your soulmate or twinflame 5. Everything is over the top 6. The relationship is going much too fast and feels forced 7. This phase ends with breadcrumbing (giving you little hope) or devaluation (you are not good enough) ******************************************** When I met my covert N.he would tell me right at the beginning,"I am different. You will find out over time." It took me 2,5 years to find out HIS DIFFERENCE.. especially # 3 all those very personal questions out of the context were driving me mad.. And yes I first thought that he would be my twinflame because of this very intense connection right from the beginning and nobody has ever triggered me in such a way.. and further on I felt like under a spell all the time. P.S.: Christina, what about your microphone today? your voice sounds like "push & pull"😂

I’m sorry but I have to add this; if we fall for love bombing what does that say about us? Why are we so starved for love that we ignore our logic and continue to be spoon fed / force fed. I understand that I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t go through all the narcissistic abuse I went through but I understand now in hindsight how falling for a narcissist and their manipulation is a gauge on our own emotional health.. i believe if I wasn’t so depressed, wasn’t still hurting deeply inside due to unresolved trauma, wasn’t so lonely because I kept myself isolated and didn’t have the energy and ability to connect with others, I wouldn’t have fallen for their crap. I’m grateful now that I can spot a narcissist a mile away and can avoid them. My point is that if there’s a lesson to learn from these types of relationships it’s to truly look inward and take stock of our own emotional health.

Yes Listen To Your Intuition Is Good Advice. Unfortunately Most Of Us Get Separated From Our Intuition In The Process Of Socialization.

wow... This is literally my relationship... Everything seemed so perfect at first. A few days after we started talking, he said he loved me. He asked me very personal questions from day one. I stopped doing my favorite things, and started doing his favorite things - for example, watching his favorite movies, listening to his favorite music. He gets angry/sad when I don't use hearts in a text or when I don't reply for an hour. I got confused. I don't even know who I am anymore

I was love bombed and now I am pregnant by him. It sucks. He was so amazing the first few weeks. Once we had sex, he got what he wanted started treating me like garbage. Told me he still loved his ex, then went back on to the dating website we were on. I was like wtf just happened? I am happy to be having my son, but not happy he is in my life forever.

Constant texting for first 2 months then poof they’re gone

I am using this to help me discern whether he is lovebombing or genuine.😊 we have not talked on the phone, video chatted or met in person yet.

Love bombing hooked me almost immediately! I've seen him around the Social gatherings and I never thought he would ask me to dance. We got along GREAT! We talked and talked for hours. He told me he was "falling in love with me." Wow! I really fell for him. GUT FEELING-TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. I ignored it. Well, as the years went on, I was FUTURE FAKED, had an engagement ring, and I was the "one." This went on for 5 years, then I left him. This was 11 years ago. When I left him after 5 years, he rebounded immediately, and was married in 2 weeks to a very RICH woman. I was devastated! I went thru a lot of Therapy, read books, and started going out more. Narcs are MONSTERS! GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU. I'm doing fine now.

The thing that keeps getting me is I truly felt like I found my soul mate. You keep thinking what if? What if? What if I had done this differently, and it’s all my fault? You miss the connection with that person. And the smex…. Was amazing. It was the first person I fell in love with for years. I feel worse off than I did before I met them. Their parents liked me more than anyone they’d ever brought around; and they’d even been married before. We talked about rings and getting married. All in less than a month and a half…. It’s painful and confusing. I still feel like it was my fault somehow. It just sucks, I feel so so alone. So alone.

Ive been away from the N now for 2 years and still think I love and want him...of course I dont..its part of the insidiousness....sometimes I still think Im wrong and I should give him the benefit of the doubt..then I watch anothe video to keep me on track...this is how it goes...ping pong ping pong...until it stops...

Soul mate and a beautiful soul are red flags to 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️

I believe People aren’t your soul mate from day 1. They become your soul mate over time.

It's crazy, early on this year I had a lady ask me if I wanted to work out with her at the gym. Very attractive lady and I thought sure why not. Then the love bombing started after a few weeks. I've come to realise that this happened as I didn't make any moves on her as I honored our "Friends Only" agreement. I knew exactly the time I was stepping over my safety boundaries with her and as soon as she knew she had me she backed of. I called her out on her behavior and was immediately blocked on all fronts. It's been a wonderful lesson !!

Yes, I had a soulmate /twin flame connection, same birthday and all. The pain made me really do the work and understand myself and see things for what they truly were. I had to look into myself , level up and walk away.

Your videos describe my husband & soon to be ex-husband 100%. I've been devalued and discarded so now it's over for good for me & he doesn't want to let go.

🎉RUSHING, lying, ❤️ talkn about marriage & askn what wedding ring u like, w/o getting 2 know u & ur family slowly & consistently, n loves u @ 1st site, gets u n bed 🛌 fast to get u hooked are huge red flags. He's evil 😈 & pyscho. Run 🏃‍♀️ for ur life.

You are always very detailed and precise in your videos , which makes them a very good learning tool for a lot of (covert) narcissist victims , including me. Thanks !

All was well until I started asking questions. Then the whole thing fell apart.

You are really connecting with my needs in this video and allowing me to take responsibility for awareness of them. I can get much more control in my life with my emotions when I have this awareness rather than the narcissist having this awareness and ready to use it against me. I find this very helpful. TY!

I just got out of relationship with a lady who was 9 years older than me. I realized she was love bombing me, very over-the-top affection. I felt like I was being groomed.

I let her do it. Twice.😭

My ex told me after one month he felt in love with me. He asked me on the first date : did I ever had an abusing relationship? And he was so charming, easy to be around… It feels like soulmate…. Because you had this kind of love experienced in your life…

Wow!! You're blowing me away! I just got out of a relationship like this.. holy crap. When I wanted to slow it down they freaked .. thank you for this!! It's helping me heal

Wow!!! You described my situation to a T…and it all happened in a span of 2 months. Then discard, block my number and on Facebook and then she got back with her ex….again. She recently unblocked me on Facebook and posted fake happy pics of her beach trip with her boyfriend and as soon as I saw it…I blocked her on everything. She’s a demon

This is we walk away from a narcissistic person

No gray matter in their brains no empathy at all of try to mirror ours. Condition love. 23 years with my husband learning. He has all the signs of covert narcissist. His whole family are blind and don’t care about the truth. He can’t change and says he isn’t changing period. 2 kids together so I working on a it. Thank you for sharing!

I didn't know. But i felt smothered for 2 weeks, and kinda controlling, had to know my commute time even 😂. Then suddenly Cold as ice 🥶 and I was sad but subconsciously Relieved 😮‍💨 bc it was too exhausting. As Abraham Lincoln said "I may walk slowly, but I never walk backward". So, next!

Yesterday was the first time after my breakup with my ex narc and going on date. I can tell you that the red flags were popping everywhere and also my body rejected him. It was my gut knew who he was before he even started talking. The biggest one was when I cooked and asked him if he was gonna eat he said no but he went out and got himself similar thing I was cooking for us to eat and brought it to my house and was eating it infront of me , not only was it disrespectful but he also called my cooking dog meat and said it can't taste better than what he was eating. I was on fire but I had to pretend and smile but inside I was on fire and when he left I immediately blocked him.

Great explanation And yes the entire relationship is transactional All their relationships are! Cons to the core

Spot on!

i got love bombed by a single mom that wanted me to take care of her and her child,,,,,thank god i ran away,,still hurts to this day

Yeah the narcissists is a real work of art. Arguing with them is the worse. They become victims and punishers all in one. Leave with caution, they like to embarrass and humiliate you. They will reach out to a relative or someone they know close to you. Threaten to show up at your job or home. They will rattle you if they feel bruised and like you didn't fall for their manipulations.

I experienced this ten years ago, and it was an emotional trap. Glad I got out of it and away from my ex. He was a master at love bombing looking back. Most are. Good video, btw. Very informative.

So confusing....but the silent treatment and discard, all of that I get totally.....

you're one of the best people on the web concerning narrcissists. you're articulate and a very good teacher imo. thanks.

At the end of a 15 year relationship with one. He closed with "thats why you got "touched" as a kid" regarding my childhood molestation that had went on for years and is the worst thing that happen to me until him. Thats the lack of empathy they have. I hurt all that time and he never cared. Finally used it on me when he knew we were done which was btw bc he got stealing from our son. So the punishment for HIM getting caught is to bring up my sexual trauma. A narcissists will kill you by stressing you tf out! Please take it seriously.

It is very true if you listen to someone long enough, they will tell you what they really want from you and who they are. I had one when I spoke up in this first comment kept saying I’m not looking for anything. I’m not after your money, blah blah blah, but the bit about I’m not after your money kept coming up every time we’ve talked about stuff and I’m like I don’t have money. I support myself which takes a lot of what I have, so to me it was almost like he was subconsciously telling me he was looking for money

would love a video on what a normal guy is like. What should a healthy normal guy be like?

As you said in the beginning. So few or many years, 2,10, 20+. Realizing you’ve been bombed!!! Looking back on how in the world did this happen to me. I always have to make him happy. Plus I was so used into teaching him everything he knows. Now I see him living my life. Are we stuck? No.

Within my current relationship, after we met for the first time they said that they loved me and I told them I didn’t feel comfortable saying it and they said it was fine then they kept pushing the word I love you and I gave in, as I’m unfortunately a people pleaser and I don’t know what to do, they won’t give me the time to myself or anything

You broke this down really well you are absolutely correct and it will force you to heal your traumas. Whoever is dealing with this may God bless you🙏it’s power, in the name of Jesus.

I had no idea what love bomb was until it happened to me and I felt each and every point described in this video. While it was happening, I felt like pulling away because it all really seemed too intense, too much, too soon. How can they love me without even seeing me first? Problem is that I tried to go along with it but my gut made me stop and I gave up on progressing with this 'relationship' - I didn't get to the "devaluation" stage before the break up or anything. I just put an end to the lovebomb and got called a narcissist who uses people and can't truly love or connect with others because of that. That broke me big time because it made sense at the time, given I did play along with it but was too scared to keep going. I felt like the worst human on Earth for months after I got ghosted as a punishment for giving up. They didn't even offer to talk or acknowledge/validate my point of view and whenever I said I was feeling pressured they'd reply with "sorry you feel that way, but..." as if their behaviour had absolutely nothing to do with me giving up on it. I'm 100% the one to blame apparently.

She used these terms with me all of them. Never heard the term narcissist, love bomb, twin flamed, soul mates, she leveled up with me etc etc including god sent her to me to wake me etc etc. By far the biggest rollercoaster ever

Thank you so much for sharing this video on content I just got out of a relationship that should have never started in the first place and now I completely understand why. It blows my mind you basically explained my entire relationship with this person, step bye step. There's a lot of what to look for signs and traits that I did not know about before and some that I already did 4 years ago I went through a divorce and there's good reason because I didn't know that my significant other was a complete narcissist. My problem was I based everything that she did too much on the prior relationship I got out of I think I completely understand now? Narcissists are very good observing they literally study you?! You see most people study each other but for different reasons. Narcissists seem to study to manipulate and take and hurt. Wow everything makes complete sense now😮😮

Mine use to tell me when I’m away from him he feels like he is in prison 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm 2 months into a relationship with a 34 year old who is lovebombing me. I haven't bought into it. The other day she asked me I I love her. I told her I did (and I do to a degree). So the other day I was helping her pack for a move and by 7 pm I was ready to go home and relax because I have a busy week ahead of me. She decided to punish me with guilt for leaving and put on an emotional show to suck me in. I decided to leave anyways so ive yet to see how this plays out in the days ahead.

Ty! I’m on a dating app and one guy seemed to want me before even knowing me. It got me worried and u gave me a lot clarity so thank you ! ❤

So glad I found this channel. Thank you so much

I was definitely in a relationship with the worst narcissist and it was the worst relationship I’ve ever had. He love bombed me for several weeks and then criticized me for two months before I left. There was no intimacy and caring even though he said he loved me. I know what he is so why do I still ruminate about it, about him?

Imagine thinking that the term Narcissist is negative. "A person who thinks that he himself is cool and on the proper path."

🎯🎯🎯🎯 OmG this resonates to me in all many levels

Woah i never realized i was love bombing someone-

My daughter is getting divorced from her narcissistic husband. Before she had even filed, she was involved with another narcissist and has decided to move in with him after four months. I am beside myself with grief. I know there’s nothing I can do, but I sure wish there was.

They will tell you how their previous relationship ended. How they got their previous partner in debt, or physically abused their partner. Thanks for the info and peace out✌.

if i wasn't so broken i wouldn't have fell for that crap , hope i learned my lesson

My narcissistic first started love bombing me and when i asked him for marriage he manipulted me saying " you deserve someone better who will support you" we can be friends etc

How do you differentiate just being kind and loving … from love bombing? I’m scared that I love bomb when I feel my motive is just that this person is special to me??

I agree they can force you to level up ⬆️ when you realize there fake it’s easier to back away

I miss her so much

It's so confusing!

Wow several women have done me like this!

Very very good. Thank you Ma'am 🙏🙂

We have the same birthday and he swore we were meant to be because of that...

I love your videos, I just wish you did the thing where the videos has the 7 different things "labeled" in the video on the timeline.

My ex narcissist love bomber. Who i loved dearly. Has made me discover my trigger which is a person trying to micromanage me or control me or dismiss my traumatic experiences. Dont tell me what i should want or desire. Its a trigger and singling me out is a trigger too lol

Rock on sister!

Thanks, and very helpful

I meant unconsciously telling off on himself. Another thing is he is 69 and I am 59 and he made comment that is really a good thing for him having someone younger fast forwarding. I thought he had his life together, but he lived with his daughter because he sold his big home which she originally told me it was paid for but then later on I found out he only got back like 100,000 out of a $600,000 house so that was a lie, and then he was not smart enough to remember when he said one thing and then he contradicted himself in the next so be careful women it doesn’t matter or men. It doesn’t matter how old someone is. It doesn’t mean that they are settled person that has made good choices. There are people truly of all ages that are looking for someone else to make up what they don’t have what they need in life don’t be used, I’m choosing to stay single because I’ve seen enough. Things are just way too weird today.

My wife and I were going to reconcile, but I was not comfortable with her again/yet so I said hey can we maybe slow this down or date again. She was gone that night. That was the second time she tricked me with reconciliation. Im not even going to touch on why I suspect shes a narc, that piece just resonated with me.

Sometimes I have to ask my true friends what I need to know about new people I meet because I went to a party and someone really thought well of me, this lady, too well like she's got a high opinion of me and she doesn't know me and I've never met her. I went to my friend and said after the party is she the type who loves you one minute and then not? To which my friend nodded and I knew what type of person I was dealing with because if she decides she loves me one minute she's going to not only dislike me the next but in my mind I knew she'd turn on me. She was actually quite funny and I couldn't stop laughing and enjoyed her jokes but I didn't want a friendship with her because it's like fake adoration, because it's not even fake love, it's adoring you for a couple of moments and now you're uncool so I'm not going to bother. It's like school, my first year of high school every one liked me thought I was the best and one girl made up some shitty rumor and everyone dropped me and it wasn't even true, my reputation destroyed because of something I didn't do but it was tarnished. Someone makes something up and everybody believes it. If they can do that they're not friends. My real friends turned up in the loos with me and that's the difference - so I know when I'm mixing with fake people and its their inner core body language and I can feel that. I just think why should I be made to feel awkward so I go up and greet them and you can feel their bodies tense like they suddenly want to get away from you but I refuse to sit across the room and let their body language affect me like I shouldn't be here and they're better than everyone in the room. I don't put up with it or refuse to sit small I get up and make my presence known, in a non threatening way but in a way that says I don't care what you think. I'm me and anyone who's worth knowing will be attracted by my energy. People will only keep you small and with low worth if you pick up on their vibes and react to it.

Woman: "I never came with anyone inside me before." RUN!

❤ my wife ❤

Wow…I didn’t realize it in this last relationship…I have been with a narcissist in prior relationships but again I didn’t . See it 😢I FEEL STUPID ..He asked me to be exclusive within a few days and then I love you within a week….then slowly he began icing me and then the discard for a ridiculous and frivolous reason … he never opens up to me. Suddenly iced me and ghosted after over a year lol so I told him he was a coward.. he spent a year convincing me he was a good guy then BAM ..he made comments saying I didn’t know the real him ..turns out I didn’t ..he was icing me the whole time I didn’t see it ..he bread crumbed me and tryed to use me as a booty call and smh nope I walked away

Christina is da BOMB! How's that for love bombing? (But, it's true!)

i guess ive been love bombed into friendships..2 times or maybe more

Christine needs to add the triangulation to this mix as well.

You’re a champ👍

Love-bombing = The set up stage.

Do borderlines do this?

“These violent (intense) delights have violent (intense) ends, and in their triumph…die. Like fire and powder(gun powder), when they kiss…consume. (explode). The sweetest honey becomes loathsome in its own deliciousness. (don’t eat a gallon of honey in one sitting! LOL). And in the taste, confounds (sickly satisfies) the appetite. Long love doth so!” So this love-bombing has been around at least since Shakespeare! LOL!

I dunno bout "twin flames"

And after 4 years and her blowing up over something that didnt make since then tell me after breakuo i was/ am supoose to be her forever shortly after telling me she was confuzed and wrong about me being her kingdom husband. Some real bizzar back and fourth but acts like she has only spoken the same thing over and over

Thank you for all the advice now I can go love bomb better. SDB

She blammed me for our breakup and it being borring going nowhere in reality she spent half the time fighting cold and hot and then writing or telling me sweet things at times then right back to the toxic exaggerated stuff

What if the person lovebomb you and then discard you all of a sudden? In my case, it lasted only 4 weeks and I didn't really notice a devaluation phase between the lovebomb and discard phases. Maybe he did that but it was too subtle and I didn't get it? There were a few times where I felt he might be insinuating he was so much better than me, but it was not said clearly.