I watch these to make sure I’m not a narcissist lol

They can dish it out but they can't take it in return.

The first sign of a narcissist is.... lies whether big or small. To me, that is a huge red flag.

My first wife couldn’t walk past a shop without turning her head to look at her reflection in the window. People we’d meet couldn’t even have a conversation with her without her twisting the conversation to be about her and her personal achievements. Sixteen years of hell. When we finally divorced, even our children didn’t want to stay with her. Been married to a normal woman for the past thirteen years and still going strong.

I shut down narcissists with my silence. It's not to punish them but to protect myself. No supply from me. Forever.

Another red flag: Even if you let her friend zone you, if you're actually ok with that she will keep talking about and flirt with you until you think she's interested just so she can have full power over you. It's fuuuuuuucked up.

01. Hyper Sexuality 02. Super Complimentary 03. Guilty of Gossip 04. Attention Seeking 05. Entitled 06. Passive Agressive 07. Reactive Abuse 08. Emasculating 09. Gaslighting 10. Feign Empathy 11. Manipulative 12. Selective Boundaries 13. Controlling 14. Jealous 15. Cheater 16. Self Worth Erroded (victim) 17. Trauma Bond ( victim)

It matters to them, when you ignore them forever.

Love bombing first then sudden criticism and or mood swing. Rage / jealous over completely stupid things. Then disappears and doesn’t include you and then comes back and tells you what they have been up to! You take her back and now it’s rinse and repeat. Rollercoaster ride. She’ll triangulate- mood swing- be hot and cold etc.

I would only add the #11 - she, like the male narcissist, never cut ties with her ex boyfriends, one night stands, previous affairs.Don't you dare to expect she will change. You are not the boss of her!

Narcissistic parents left me insecure, unloved and unwanted, which made me leave home and look for a relationship with a loving wife. Thirty years of heartbreak, psychological traumas and 2 divorces later I have now been celibate and out of the relationship scene for 12 years - and I've never been more independent, steadfast and above all HAPPY!

This is shockingly common in america nowadays. Mostly due to media. Especially social media. Way too many think they are the best of the best. It is narcissism at it's purest, literally.

Gossip is evil. It doesn’t matter if it feels like you’re not doing anything wrong by engaging, it is wrong. It can be literally so damaging that it can destroy peoples reputation, and ultimately their lives. It’s a form of soul murder in my opinion. That’s why I’ve tried to do my best not to engage anymore when it comes my way. If you’ve been a victim of malicious gossip and slander, you realize how horrible and vicious it truly is.

The emasculation… it was unreal. She was so successful at shaming any masculine traits out of me, I started to wonder if I was trans (not joking)

Being with my ex was the darkest period in my life and for years I have been wondering what went wrong and if it was my fault. Today, almost 12 years later, all the pieces of the puzzle just fell into place after watching this video.

The "man up" and needing support one is HUGE and so on point. Want you to listen to their pain and stories yet the one time you as a man need support or empathy? Nothing. No support. "Just get over it". Oh my god the accuracy!!!

In the cases of female narcissist friends, they act very empathic. They always want to hear all the details when something goes wrong with me, like secretly they may enjoy it, but they act very supportive.

The female narcissist's love language is power. Skillfully dismantling you so discreetly, piece by piece until you find yourself unable to recognize your own reflection in the mirror. It continues until you wise up and leave, or inevitably slowly bleed out from the thousand tiny cuts becoming an unresponsive, radically indifferent, apathetic shadow of your former self. The devaluation period inevitably dries the well of power--your will-power, she discards you. Trauma bond is one hell of a drug, folks.

Sex is totally a weapon for a female narcissistic--not a tool, not an angle, but a weapon. Insane how accurate this list is...10 for 10 in my last marriage.

A lot of narcists are teamleaders or managers. And I had to do with them, male and female ones. I am a high sensitive person so I can see immediatly through their shit.

"They have one foot out the door." She'd often enough put both feet out, disappearing for a night just to put me in my place. Sadly, it worked. I am so glad to be done and healing from the madness.

I was once a person that allowed people to take advantage of me. A woman came into my life and expressed interest and before I knew it she had completely taken over my life. She was verbally abusive and she enjoyed humiliating me in front of others. She treated me like a child. It went on for far too long. I became very depressed and suicidal because I thought it was never going to end. Eventually, I was able to get her out of my life. I was homeless for a long time after the breakup, but I was free. I've since gotten married to a wonderful woman. We have 2 kids and a nice house and I have a career that I can be proud of. When I was with this other woman, she had me convinced that I couldn't accomplish anything without her. I am sometimes still angry with myself that I allowed that to happen to me. Then again, if that never would have happened, I might not be with my wife now and I may not have the two beautiful children that I have now.

The part about no matter what a person does for the covert narcissist it seems like it’s never good enough - the goal posts keep moving - definitely.

Catch 22... We all have narcissistic traits.. I'm not saying we all are narcissists. But i do believe we all have to take a look at ourselves in the mirror sometimes. I remember when my daughter's mother took her life, my girlfriend at the time looked at me while i was in mourning and snapped on me for being sorrowful or hurt. She just couldn't understand why i would care about this woman taking her life. That was something i had never witnessed before. Lord, have mercy on us all.

My husband is a narcissistic and you realize you are not getting any support in the relationship. You are doing all the work on yourself and keeping the relationship going.

The movie "Mommy Dearest" allways sent cold chills down my spine...those poor kids didn't stand a chance. They were adopted by a monster.

10 out of 10. You nailed 12 years of my life, all the red flags, gut instincts, and leading into the trauma bond... It is like breaking an addiction. There is always a silver lining. In her smear campaign which was retaliation for exposing her lack of ethics, she won a restraining order, to which I told the judge, "Thank you, you just did me a favor your Honor, legally imposing her not being able to abuse me any longer in court". You should have seen the judge's and her attorney's faces. Having 12 months of no contact and some serious therapy, I not only healed from her but addressed repressed issues of my very rough early years, and today 3 years later, I am in a very healthy relationship. My current lover was my first love all the way back to 1983, we have a 40-year history and a "daughter". We reunited after 30 years apart. We have NEVER had a fight and any compliment was met with disbelief due to the evaluation and emasculation I experienced for 12 years. To hear the words, "I am proud of you" and "You inspire me" completely caught me off guard the first time I heard them due to the abuse I endured previously. Today, I am the best version of myself and strive to improve daily, but it took planning my suicide and writing my "goodbye" letters to find my bottom. It is in my darkest depths that I found the bedrock on which to build anew. Close friends and family tell me that I am a "different person" when in reality, what they see is the real me. I shed the walls and filters I displayed hiding so much pain that my ex-narc extorted me emotionally with. I went from ruminating and to some degree hating her to feeling pity and praying that her tortured soul finds peace.

Great video, there is nothing like a perfect person. We however just try to understand the people in our lives. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..

1. Hypersexuality and unwarranted pedestalising; yes 2. Then becoming very defensive and triggered easily when you complain about something. You now know her past is sketchy and she starts lying. Lots of short relationships and everyone was a cheater. Weird relationships. And stories that show a different person each time. 3. Combine that with stonewalling 4. Then she never compliments you anymore and stops touching you as much. 5. You notice everything everything is about her. She is entitled and care little about your boudries and needs. But she keeps adding boundries. 6. You feel trapped at this point and like if you are being used. 7. You notice you have less and less value in her eyes. Despite you holding most of the cards. 8. And now all you think about is how to get ou or fix it....

Watching this makes me sick. I left my ex of 7 years after she did everything you mentioned. The silent treatment, humiliation, and gaslighting lasted 5 years until I walked. It was when our daughter started to copy her that my heart shattered and I waved the white flag. But I lawyered up, wrote the parenting agreement, and now have my kid every weekend. I should have left her years earlier.

"💔 Opening up about a profound struggle: I'm married to a female narcissist, and her hurtful behavior has left me feeling wounded and vulnerable. 😢 Despite the pain, I cling to hope and the belief that sharing my truth will bring solace and understanding. 🌟 Your kindness and empathy mean the world as I navigate this journey. 🙏

My brother is a covert narcissist. I never really thought about the differences between female coverts and their counterpart. So I’m so glad I ran into this video thank you! This is amazing to learn. My ex has a lot of these traits as well. Hyper sexuality, check. Gossip, check. Especially when she was with her sisters and mother. They came together as if it was a functional family . But Behind each others back it was a gossip about the gossipers. It would blow my mind. When she would come to me and gossip I’d call her out on it. I didn’t know that was a reason she would respond in odd ways. And by calling out I mean just the similarities between the person she would be gossiping about and her and her own family. When I say mind blown reason being that I could not at the beginning comprehend how they themselves didn’t see the things they would be spreading rumors about was the exact same things they’d have going on within their own personal lives! Materialistic AF, double check! Ten plus years and I was never able to satisfy what later on I came to realize as a materialistic void of a woman. Pressure pressure pressure for more more more. Brand new car not even a week later, want the newest more expensive one. Brand new place week later, want a mansion and garden like this. Brand new shoes “ on sale” for $300 from $500, next week another pair which she would never use. Instead wore the same wore down old shoes she had from when we started dating. Shoes made specifically for hiking, running, swimming, rock climbing, lol you name it just collecting dust in the closet. Ironically she was never into any of those things. Empathy none existent unless it was to her benefit, triple check!!! We would have moments when I would tell her that the mansion she wanted and all materialistic things could be hers if she would only work with in in question of budgeting ourselves and looking into other ventures of money making. To the point of doing poster boards of the numbers and the plan to get there. Hours of conversation and in all honesty simple doable things to get there such as giving up monthly subscriptions for magazines she would never read or monthly “boxed nuts” or weekly bought shoes the sacrifices for something better and possible to accomplish, just for literally the next day as if the conversation never took place. Moments of me venting and crying my ass off telling her how I felt inside that I felt like I didn’t belong that I felt empty inside. That I didn’t have any friends and that connecting to people was the hardest thing for me to do. That I felt alien amongst humans. And that I craved connections and genuine friendships. That my vices were spiraling out of control and I didn’t know why or how to stop them. And she would say things such as “we’ll put you in rehab we’ll find help for you” , next day would remind her and her blank face of expression would tear me apart, her excuse was “I must have a bad memory my mom is forgetful maybe that’s what I have”. I Worked my ass off to give her the check entrust in her to do the right thing I would only take out enough for me and my, by this point addictions which later on made sense why they spun out of control when she herself brought it to my attention “why do you have to be so high when your around me?” The Day it dawned on me that holy sh*t I think I can’t stand you sober! In my conscious mind I loved her, but in my heart I could not stand her sight. Never buying myself anything new nor fancy the clothing I would have were all from before we dated to gifts. Polar opposites when it came to materialistic things. So it didn’t bother me until I realized that no matter what there was no pleasing this woman. She would be Stressed out AF on a daily basis might I add over nothing, didn’t work had it all nice place to live in and even that I’d come home to clean and feed our kids. Didn’t mind it at first either I like my place clean and organized. Makes life that much more enjoyable when you know where your keys are and not have to throw a tantrum for 20 minutes while you stress out and point fingers while trying to look for them at the last minute to a scheduled appointment to the point that her stress would become mine. Thus affecting our children. Parenting again polar opposites, I’d read up on how to not crush your babies hopes and dreams and how to be the best parents you can possibly be in a world like this one. For the very least to know within yourself that you did your best and have the confidence that they will grow up and see for themselves that you were at the very least trying To be for them but her stress would eventually get the best of me and I’d give in to her needs so I’d find myself not following through on the knowledge of love and taking it out on my kids. Knowing how it felt like to grow up depressed and misunderstood by the world the last thing I wanted to do to my babies was for them to feel the same way. Vices and pressures and a void for a wife became my worst nightmare and unfortunately had an emotional effect on my eldest daughter she fights with her own depression to this day. But she knows I understand being the first born really does a number on you especially when you’re made the caregiver at an age that you’re still trying to juggle figuring out yourself and trying to make sense of this world while on top of that trying to be the perfect child for different adult minds whom have their own narcissistic personalities. Codependency here we come!! Many Regrets,but thankfully lessons obtained. Better person I’ve become because of that whole experience, and the best part of it is the ability to be able to recognize it. I see the differences between my ex and I. How someone that will eventually come to belittle you on a daily basis thank goodness I took that leap of faith and went through with the divorce, something she for the last three years of our marriage would terrorize me with. The fear of not seeing my children again if I didn’t sober up pronto would have me in her chains. But now I see that I’ve always been in the most humblest of ways above her. I wasn’t the junkie or lowlife she’d label me with. I wasn’t the selfish ingrate her and my father would say I was. I was trying to cope and didn’t know it. And I don’t see it as time wasted but a test that the universe put forth for me and I passed!! Keep making videos like this the more knowledge the better. Especially for someone like me not knowing much about the females side of narcissism. And many thank you for sharing this information!❤❤

spot on. My ex constantly disregarded my boundaries, often telling me she "didn't like having rules". One thing this video didn't really touch on though is she CONSTANTLY acted like a victim. Whenever she did something hurtful, I'd bring it up wanting to talk about how it made me feel, and she would usually start crying and telling me how she was feeling, and that she felt like she was getting in trouble, so I needed to change my approach. It was beyond maddening.

I remember from a young age feeling like my mom treated my dad like her flunkie. He later left and was seeing another woman. We sll hated him for it. But now i believe that he was escsping my covert narcissistic mother.

The most recent ex of mine is a narcissist. She had all the red flags you talked about in this video. I spotted some of them and ignored it since I was a LOT like that 20 years ago. In her case, I rationalized it as being immature and lacking life experience. I set my boundaries early on and was very vocal about them. After meeting the folks, I told her if she's going to be with me, she will be held accountable and personally responsible for everything she says and does. I also mentioned how her words and actions aren't lining up. Something stunk on her end and she needed to rectify it. I was elevating her. What was she doing for me? She went home that evening. Within hours, she sent a ton of rambling word salad messages making it seem like she was being kidnapped, held against her will, or whatever. I think all of that was her deeply rooted insecurities manifesting and running wild. She ended up breaking up with me the following day. She was appalled and trying to fake cry in order to get me to beg for another shot. I wasn't having it and let her have it from my perspective. I never talked down to her or cussed at her. I was always tactful the way I approached her on subjects of conversation. The fake crying stopped, a real fear in her eyes started to show, and she knew I was too strong of a personality for her liking. I let her know she is of no loss to me and I'll do fine without her. If anything, I'm a devastating loss to her. She tried stalking me at work for a couple of days until I had armed security go out and deal with her. She never showed her face around my place of employment again. I've gone zero contact with her. Thankfully I don't have any social media for her or her friends to stalk. She doesn't really have any idea what my hangouts are either. The biggest W is when the narc breaks up with you.

So spot on with my situation. My wife actually shamewhd me for coming home one Friday happy to be home with her and having the weekend coming up. I was acting happy and she said I was being "goofy" (which wasn't true). That was just one of many red flags that started appearing on a regular basis in my short marriage. And when my mother died, my wife was so un sympathetic. She didn't even attend the funeral which was only 2 hours away. There are so many other instances of abuse. I wrote them all down and have them posted on my refrigerator to remind me of her abuse whenever I start to thinking about thinking their may be a way to repair the relationship which I wanted to be perfect, but simply cannot be with a narcissist.

I was married for 21 years to a narcissist without knowing, but she definitely fit a lot of those red flags.

Hard to find someone who is not a narcissist

I was in a 11year relationship with one. I thought it was normal because I didn't know any better. It wasn't until I lost everything, having no support and had to pick myself up from nothing alone, that I realised why it was my normal. My mother is one and holds similar patterns of destructive behaviour. Now I'm too worried about getting involved in any form of relationships. The destructive nature it causes of insecurities it's caused broke my being that leaks now and I am terrified if someone comes too close I might cause them harm. So many boxes ticked here and all I learnt was my peace is far more valuable then any relationship. Just wish I knew this before it ruined me.

You've nailed it. My ex was like that. Personally I find it hard to trust my judgement in partners now after being through all that.

My ex had all these traits and it never occurred to me that she was a covert narcissist. I loved her to the core and took her to fancy vacations and restaurants. I tried hard to get her off her alcohol habit, which she detested. She never had any empathy for me and my struggles, or how I was supporting my low-income parents financially. She blamed me for a bad relationship, said I was a cheat, and wondered why I often went quiet when she brought up nonsensical allegations. The stress took its toll on me and I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which I didn't disclose with her, as she would have found a way to hurt me more after surgery and left. So, I feigned I was angry with her and broke up. Apparently, she now helps people overcome their alcohol addiction, using everything I did for her! Remember people, when dealing with narcissists, no good deed goes unpunished!

I came here to check myself, because I recently came to the realization that I’m currently married to a narcissist, and wanted to compare him and myself. I have some tendencies, but I’m nothing like my husband, who is a full-blown covert narcissist. After 17 years of marriage it’s a hard pill to swallow.

Hearing this is so healing. Thank you.

thank you for putting all of this in words on the internet.

Appearances in public check Acting like she really loves me in front of her friends check Emasculating check Man up shamed me for showing emotions check Faking empathy in front of others and had none in private check

I dealt with this a few years ago. For the first several months, she was constantly at my house and I couldn’t keep her hands off of me. After two weeks together, she told me about cheating on her ex husband for over a year. What she said next “I don’t want there to be any secrets. I’ve never felt this way before and we were meant to be together” was a huge red flag. I didn’t walk away but dated her for almost 3 years and experienced everything in this video until she discarded me. Weeks after that, she’s all over facebook with someone else and “the happiest she’s ever been.” Lesson learned. Keep boundaries!!

It's like you're talking to me directly, with how spot on some of these are for me.

Everything here describes my 13 year marriage. The one MASSIVE benefit of my ex cutting off the sex, was not having any children with her. Now that we are divorced, I have zero contact with her.

I'm pretty sure my ex was a covert narcissist.. the first time we met it was sex instantly..she didn't even want a first date..I never met a woman with such an intense sex drive..then I got constant compliment "oh mark your amazing..your the perfect bf..your so handsome!..I was like Jesus I've never met anyone into me so much!..maybe she's the one...3 weeks in and she was telling me she loved me..I was thinking jesus this is fast!..she was struggling with a place to rent and about 3 months in she says to me.."I still dont have a key to your place yet mark but ive a key to two other places to stay"...then my gut instinct was telling me to get out of this relationship..I'd stopped spending time on myself and going the gym ect all to give her this insatiable need for a attention..we broke up on a Monday and by Friday she was plastering fb of kissing pics with some other guy..yet I was never asked to be on a pic with her for fb...turns out I'd been dropping her off at this other guys house towards the end of the relationship whom she told me was a friend she was staying with...I reached out 6 weeks after we broke up for answers and i was laughed and and she told me she was getting married!..I was like wtf!. This must be a joke or something!..sure enough in less then 5 months she married him..I always thought narcissists were materialistic but she wasn't or was she into how she looked.. so I've always been conflicted if she was or not...but there no way she just met this guy only 3 days after we broke and Jesus she rubbed it in my face with endless kissing pics with him on fb..him n her left Ireland to go live on her home country of Lithuania..sometimes I think did I loose something amazing or just a covert narcissist out for a relationship that would benefit her..I'd absolutely no idea of Any of this stuff till I went on you tube and I was blown away!..I mean guys who marries that fast :(

You described my daughter to a tee. She started calling me a narcissist. I know people project but this wasn't even on my radar until she said it.

You have hit the nail on the head! So much of this sounds like what I've been through.... the end was scary how accurate it is! 😢

Thank you for this! Both my parents specifically my dad was more obvious, but my mom's was more hurtful (rip)... I'm in therapy now, and in a nontoxic serious relationship. It takes time, I'm grateful for this channel, super helpful. 🙏🏻

Any woman who says "it is my birthday month" after the age of 25...run.

You nailed it! First, to everyone that has had or are currently in a relationship with a narcissist, you're not alone and I'm sorry. No matter what they say, you're a victim and do not deserve to be treated that way. Please don't try to convince yourself that you're the reason that they did/or are cheating on you. You're not neglecting their needs by doing something for yourself on occasion. If you only see your family once or twice a month and then they tell you you're being selfish, you're NOT! If you still struggle to remove them from your heart after all of that, again, you're not alone. It has taken me much longer to recover from my relationship with a covert narcissist than any other relationship. "I just want things to be like they were at the beginning of our relationship again." Sound familiar? If I have any advice from my experience in the healing process it's to give it time. Don't take it into another relationship trying to fill a hole. You might struggle with guilt, confusion, and even question whether or not you're the actual narcissist. That's ok, work through it at your own pace. You may struggle to get them out of your heart for a very long time. You're going to be better off without them. Best of luck.

Absolutely spot on. My covert narcissist ex basically did everything you mention in this video. Every. Single. Point.

It's scary how accurate this is based on my 5-year experience with a woman who is a narcissist. I wish I would listen to my gut feeling from the start but I guess I had to learn it the hard way. It was hard to end it but Im really glad now i did.

You need to do a deep dive video on the female vulnerable narcissist. People often confuse the covert with the vulnerable narcissist or use the term interchangeably. They are most assuredly not the same thing. My father was a covert narcissist, but my wife is a vulnerable narcissist. They use different control mechanisms and in fact, the vulnerable female narcissist can be one of the most insidious because she knows how to fly under the radar and does the majority of her damage slowly and very carefully. It took me decades to figure out just what was going on.

I had a similar experience with a woman I started dating this summer. She was very on to me very fast... I slept at her place the second date. She started saying deep words such as "I love you" after just a few dates with her. She was complementing me in many different ways. She was also bragging about how good she was at some intimate things only to later on never really put those words into action - when I confronted her about this, she told me she does not like it and se got a very defensive attitude, and starting blaming me instead. It was here I started to see some possible red flags as well. She also started use sex as a weapon as it was pretty normal and good in the beginning, only to find reasons not to have sex or use reasons that was no problem before - red flag? I tried to talk to her about this but she thought I was the one that need to change, and I should "look it up with a therapist" no understanding or insight from my perspective whatsoever. I told her right there and then that if we cannot have a healthy give-and-take dialog about our thoughts in our relationship - its over. The fact that she couldn't stand up for the love-bombing and intimate provocative words she used in the beginning made it pretty easy for me to leave and forget here. I do not claim that she is a narcissist. But I start to really wonder how many more red flags I need in order to be convinced. She also brought up her ex as a narcissist the first date we had... Anyways, I am so relieved she's out of my life.

This is super thorough, ty so much for making this video guide! It will help many men suffering from bad choices in women

Sometimes I'll see a video or read an article about narcissism, and the accuracy sends a chill down my spine, it's SPOOKY how perfectly my own experience is being described. This is one of those times.

11:11 moves the goal post on everyone. Never enough attitude is the grass is greener always somewhere/ with someone else. Cold indifference/apathy. “ I don’t have enough “ is a constant in daily life. Can never see what’s in front of them.

This video represents my ex-girlfriend 100%. ONE-HUNDRED. I feel slightly better knowing at least that it's a predictable disorder once we know the signs.

Wow. You have completely described my ex and our relationship ! I didn't know or understand about this at the time, though. I was totally confused for nearly 5 years and constantly chasing the love bombing stage like a drug. But it never returned .

Yet another video I came across this. very accurate only half the video away, I just immediately gave a tear out of no were. Especially one video you have for " When you go no contact with a Narcissist ". Great content is all I can say.

Thank you so much for sharing! Love bombing was definitely the first red flag!

This is all so incredibly triggering, but validating to know certain things weren’t my fault. I was made to feel so small.

Excellent! Highly detailed information portrayed simply and plainly. Instant subscribe

Your observations are Spot on. Thank you Christina❤

wow, I don't know how this came up on my suggested page, but this was so accurate and rough. I just got away after 19 years, and this list hit almost everything I experienced. The controlling behavior, the erosion of self worth, the "this is just how women are" syndrome... it was rough to hear someone come out and say it, but I'm thankful, because I had been gaslighted so hard that a year later, I still wonder if I was crazy or it was just a mid life crisis. Good to hear it wasn't.

#1 for sure. It started off great but slowly went to zero intimacy, maybe once a year. I'd constantly hear her say things like "That's all you ever think about" or things along that line to make me feel like I was a horrible person for even wanting intimacy.

Thank You! So Much. Be Blessed/Stay Safe...🙏🏾

Your approach is profound and authentic. I like the things you think about.

I 100% dated a narcisist for 2 years.. pretty much all of this describes her. GLad i found a sweet woman i have been with now for 17 years.

The "Jezebel" Spirit....

This video needs to go viral!!!! It's SOOOO IMPORTANT.

I’m still healing from a narcissistic partner I had a long term relationship with. I didn’t really realize what the problem was until the end of the relationship. I was made aware by other by standers that whenever they would ask my opinion on something, my partner would control the conversation back towards her. One of the last few night we spent together, she ended up confessing to me that she enjoyed manipulating people, but she knew the only reason she should or would do it, was for their own good. In that moment so many things started to make sense to me. The relationship ended soon after. To this day I still wish her the best and that she’s able to find happiness and fulfilment in her life.

Excellent, comprehensive and extremely useful Christina. Many thanks.

To be with a person that’s always putting you down & destroying your confidence is hell on earth. To initially love bomb you to suck you in and then completely criticize you is coming from the deep insecurity that’s inside them. It’s a psychological Venus fly trap. Mind games on steroids, the baiting tactics used to drive me nuts , creating a drama to get a reaction sucks energy out of you. Best way is to go silent and don’t bite it frustrates the hell out of them. Narcissists are energy vampires they feed off your energy, then it’s time to leave.

This video really validated me. I was in a two year abusive relationship and there was so much gaslighting during and after the relationship, I was convinced that I wasn’t good enough for her. This video was like… you were describing my ex like you know her… it’s so validating. Thank you.

Wow 😮 10/10 for sure!!! Spot on and I have been there ..and this vid has opened my eyes yet to a different type of narcissist 🧐 always learning 🙃 Lots of amazing comment’s as well with common threads, but also, a lot of similar hearts that are hurting.

I thought my ex was a narcissist. But she is more borderline personality disorder. It is so similar that symptoms are almost interchangeable. Took me years of research to come to this conclusion.

This is SPOT ON with my ex-wife. Every point was exact, and every example is what I have gone through. It is crazy to me, especially considering how crazy she made me feel.

This is the best description of what I went through during my 10 year relationship. This video has shed light in ways that other videos haven’t and I’ve been searching for explanations on and off for a while now. My ex is without any doubt a covert narcissist. I also fit the case of the trauma bond person as well and after watching your follow up video…I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. Our relationship has ended 3 years ago and since day one went no contact and I’ve never used social media so no need to block her. Looking back, she however used social media constantly and remember friends ask me why I was never in any of the dozen+ vacation photos during our relationship. I bent over backwards to provide her international trips, jewelry, etc. just to get a glimpse of that love that I so much desired. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long and found many times feeling lonely… sometimes even while on the trips! I can see now with clarity my trauma bond. It is a real thing and still find myself having dreams with her in it. Now that I have this knowledge and explanation, I feel that I can truly start healing. Thanks a million!

I need to learn how to get away....I love her deeply

She did that...#4 emasculating...is there a class that Narcissists take to do that?? How do they "naturally" construct this psyop to tear you down??? It's sick but kind of ingenious if you have a weak mind. I took back my power. It's scary that they all know how to do that

This is so on point!!!

Extremely validating video. Eye opening too. Been discarded by someone who exhibits most of these traits here lately and only to be demanded not to talk to certain people even though she broke up with me.

This is the most spot on explanation I’ve ever seen. I’ve lived it. Twice. Thank you for this video.. you are completely right on every point. 👏🏼

Been there, seen that. 15 years learning to see through it all. Glad to be out of it.

I love your videos

Just came across video and it's Exactly what I'm going through. Wow thank you for opening my eyes,😢

Wow, thank you this really resonated with me.

My ex covert narcissist worked in the courts system she had 16 people under her but I left in July 👍👌🇬🇧

I can't tell you how many times I've been told to "man up" in my two marriages. Love bombing was the beginning of both. I often said that they put me on a pedestal from the start, then they changed into controlling through the relationships. Wow, this has opened my vocabulary to both situations. I haven't dated much since, but I have noticed the red flags in my dates enough to not pursue much further. Thank you for this podcast.

christ. this was spot on. incredible. I wish I knew this all beforehand

This is. accurate as hell!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 especially the part of thinking “oh that’s just women”

Your last comment about being raised by a female narcissist (she wasn't really, it was my covert narc father making her that way) and then marrying one is precisely why I stayed married this long. Yep, because of the stupid, negative images painted of women by men (being overly emotional during their cycle, etc.) and sayings like "happy wife, happy life", I thought what I was dealing with was normal and just something to be borne as a price of being married. I now know better. Better late than never I suppose.

My older sibling is Narc all over! It took many years of very low contact & years of brain shrinking (psycology) to realise I am not a lazy, useless, idiot! Unwanted, unloved, over emotional, awkward, etc etc...I grew up to be an easy target for narcs, but now I'm free! PERFECTLY IMPERFECT ❤❤

Appreciate the insight, Christina! Would love to see you do a video on quiet BPD vs covert narcissism. Two sides to the same coin.

My aunt, my mother both fit these descriptions and they're my only family. As I approach the age of 60 I can see clarity for my life and moving forward late in life contented to create my own life individuated from my family of origin. Have I gone through years of gaining distance yet with flashbacks and deep grieving, sorrow, confusion along with years of developing new healthy habits of thought each and every day repeated hard work? Yes! I now can watch this video while keeping a sense of my own esteem, dignity and worth - there was a time when those were easily eroded. I appreciate each word of this video validating of my experience.