11 Ways to Recognize a Covert Narcissist
Рет қаралды 767,062
Күн бұрынIn this video, I share 11 signs to look out for to recognize a covert narcissist. Covert narcissists aren't always easy to spot, but with these signs, you'll easily be able to recognize a covert narcissist in your life. #covertnarcissist #narcissism #npd
🔥 One-on-One Coaching With Christina🔥
---------------------------------------------------------
Tired of the toxic grip a narcissist has on your life? My exclusive 1-on-1 coaching is tailor-made to liberate you from the trauma bond and help you get back to yourself again. Discover the benefits of personalized strategies to heal emotional wounds, conquer obsessive thoughts, and rebuild your self-esteem.
🚀 Here's what you'll gain:
✨ Expert guidance to cut toxic bonds
✨ Customized strategies for emotional recovery
✨ Freedom from obsessive thinking/rumination
✨ Rediscover of your self-worth
Book TODAY ➡️ www.commonego.com/coaching
🔍 Suspect someone you know might be a narcissist?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Uncover the truth with this FREE checklist! It breaks down the phases of abuse, allowing you to assess your experiences. Download your checklist now: www.commonego.com/checklist
Explore Courses:
---------------------------
👉 START HERE: Struggling to shift your focus away from the narcissist? The 7 Day VIBE SHIFT CHALLENGE was made for you. It includes daily motivational videos, affirmations, and gratitude prompts to help you rediscover your self-worth. Start your journey: commonego.com/love
---
🏖️ STOP RUMINATING: Feeling trapped in an endless loop of obsessive overthinking? Break the cycle for good with our 4-Week Rumination Revolution program and finally stop ruminating over the past. www.commonego.com/rumination
---
💥 SUPPORT FOR GRAY ROCK/LOW CONTACT: Join the Narcissist IMMUNITY Bootcamp and fortify your emotional strength against narcissistic influences in your life. Get started now: www.commonego.com/narcissist-...
💻 Need a licensed therapist? 💻
----------------------------------------------------
I've partnered with BetterHelp, an affordable online therapy portal where you can get matched with a licensed counselor who specializes in abuse and trauma. Get a 10% discount on your first month when you signup with this link: betterhelp.com/commonego
I receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp, but please know that I only recommend services I know and trust.**
*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
@theCailleach 4 жыл бұрын
They lack genuine interest and curiosity about you as a person (who you are, what you like, etc.). They will ask superficial questions, sure, and "listen" when you volunteer information. But after having spent a considerable amount of time with this person, you realise that they don’t know anything about you really, and they couldn't care less.
@theCailleach 4 жыл бұрын
Or they keep repeating the same story over and over. They don't remember what they have told to whom.
@eagleeye2300 4 жыл бұрын
They are bored to tears if everything, ( and I mean EVERYTHING,) is not about them. Other people are just accessories. The man that I left didn't know what my handwriting looked like, after 2 1/2 years.
@SuckerPunch92 4 жыл бұрын
Sooooo true
@bronwyntanner4501 4 жыл бұрын
I never felt like I counted / mattered and or was important in the 14 year marriage
@h3llnite 4 жыл бұрын
Melrakki just had this happen today. I never realised until putting the pieces together that this ‘friend’ never really heard anything I spoke about. Then they tried saying it’s my fault they haven’t been in touch. Why you might ask? Because I have depression was their excuse. I don’t fit in their positive happy world.
@jnanashakti6036 4 жыл бұрын
I always check back in on these kinds of videos when I start missing my ex.
@araucana1976 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! for reminding me of that essential step😊
@itsall_coming_down 3 жыл бұрын
I don’t miss the devil thank you God 🙏🏼
@joeysdream7166 3 жыл бұрын
Rabbit, I do the SAME EXACT THING. You're not alone. Keep moving forward.
@sherryp3411 3 жыл бұрын
For sure it helps!!!
@freebein 3 жыл бұрын
Literally doing that now.
@ladybird8375 3 жыл бұрын
They cannot take criticism or insinuated criticism. They go quickly into a rage. They want you to show them the upmost respect unfortunately the respect is not reciprocated.
@SunnyBeetle1922 3 жыл бұрын
Yep this sums it up. I was called a bitch with a pathetic waste of a life, she accused me of things I hadn’t done then starting complaining that I didn’t have a good opinion of her..., Narcs have zero self awareness🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
@anony7170 Жыл бұрын
Yes this fucker expects 100pc loyalty and respect whilst giving absolutely none back whatsoever. He is deluded and I feel so much better now I have realised he is a covert narcissist
@MARLA116 Жыл бұрын
You betcha! Great point!!!
@MARLA116 Жыл бұрын
@@SunnyBeetle1922 I carried ALL the burdens for the family: disabilities, work, household maintenance, etc., while he just spent 20 years doing nothing but obtaining supply from EVERY source possible. Even manipulating our children. OUR CHILDREN. AND GRANDCHILDREN. WHEN THE KIDS WERE UNDERAGE AND OF AGE. I was told I was miserable, angry, and bitter. Was blamed for infidelity. And, everything else. Of course, I began to think that this was me. That I was just a drudge. That I was just not marriage material. Now, I think, 'well, how do you think I GOT this way'. Special place in hell for these b******s.
@GaslightingIsEvil 8 ай бұрын
But be careful because autism can be misinterpreted for it and autistic people can have rejection sensitivity dysphoria.
@Cred1Tor 3 жыл бұрын
1. intense soulmate connection (lovebombing) 3:00 2. something is off 5:10 3. cognitive dissonance (actions don't align with words) 6:15 4. intense need to win (not admitting they're wrong or insincere apologies) 7:16 5. justifying bad behavior 9:43 6. insecure feelings (how they make you feel) 10:30 7. disproportionate rage or anger (blow up at little things) 12:25 8. gasligting 14:25 9. lack of empathy 17:20 10. lack of whole object relations (black and white perception of themselves and others (mostly others), hates you then loves you) 21:27 11. insecurity when apart (not attached to you when you're not around) 23:00
@siniviitanen7759 3 жыл бұрын
Probably 9
@ezpz868 3 жыл бұрын
Out of the 11 she spoke of, I identified all 11 from my ex ...sigh
@Loveheartcorian 3 жыл бұрын
All 11
@narceliminator3382 3 жыл бұрын
She had all of these traits that were described and also another one always plays the victim every relationship she had been in she was the victim and they were all abusers according to her none of them had any good qualities and so she did the same thing to me made me out to be an abuser to other people I had a successful relationship for 35 years with my first wife until I lost her to cancer then I marry this woman against my own better judgment I had that gut feeling before I did and didn't go with it which I regret it now.I knew Somthing wasn't right about her from the start and told myself this a bad idea but I didn't listin to my gut
@devikabhat2615 3 жыл бұрын
@@narceliminator3382 Man I get it....I also kept justifying that gut feeling I got from day 1. It lasted for 5 years. I considered her my best friend...but I'm so glad I ended it
@alyscstudjo6909 4 жыл бұрын
The covert narcs apology goes something like this “I’m sorry but my actions were actually your fault because...”
@launabanauna8958 4 жыл бұрын
Alysc Studjo My narc husband’s apologies (the few he actually said in 19 years) went like this “Okay, I’m sorry, but what do you expect? I was mad because you did such and such....
@AmbyJeans 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly. It's always your fault, it's never theirs.
@ah-il9xt 4 жыл бұрын
Or "I'm sorry that you feel that way..."
@philomelodia 4 жыл бұрын
Alysc Studjo you forgot the last part. “ and you know what, if I decide to do x I deserve it because of y”
@doniasenzalbatross3126 4 жыл бұрын
As I've listened to this and other fine videos on narcissism, the image of my ex is commingled with those of my mother and sister. There are some differences in how they exhibit the various traits, but now I realize how long I have been surrounded with this toxic atmosphere and influence. I can't solve what they do but I can solve how I handle it. And I am finally feeling strong and allowing myself to be (slightly) amused instead of manipulated. So glad to finally see the light!
@bezejmennylotr6813 4 жыл бұрын
There is a difficulty with a covert narcissists. But pay attention to the weird insensitive things they sometimes say in the moments when they dont watch themselves.
@Starlight111x 4 жыл бұрын
Very true.
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
Good advice! ❤🙏
@gericrouch7772 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, like he says under his breath..."stupid broad"...and I say you really don't like women, do you?
@AmbyJeans 4 жыл бұрын
Oh yes. And when you speak up they were "just joking" and you're "too damn sensitive."
@marisamarino7596 4 жыл бұрын
Mine actually yelled, “Don’t get raped!” When I had to walk over to an outhouse On a mountain bike trail. It was shocking.
@jonesy2892 3 жыл бұрын
Coverts are very sneaky. And they LOVE to hide things. I think that hiding things is at the very core of who they are.
@lioydwilliams1850 3 жыл бұрын
Jonesy,hope you are not with a narcissist cause you are too pretty!
@ladybelladarkstarr7020 3 жыл бұрын
@@lioydwilliams1850 that was very bold ! Sincere SOUL_ You are being the light that our Gaia desperately needed! Complemented her like a gentleman _🌼 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
@naomiaustin3560 3 жыл бұрын
Yes they hide everything. You made be very right about that jonesy
@lisa.hennessey19 3 жыл бұрын
I always say that I dont really know him bc he lies so much and hides things. Every person he's cheated on me with with when I finally found the proof I used to laugh at rhe ahit hed tell them. Ugh. I have no clue what he does when not here and I stopped looking bx everytime I do I find something. And now I'm on my way out.
@naomiaustin3560 3 жыл бұрын
Yes very sneaky, add the gaslighting to it and forget it, their secrets and lies can go on for years before you discover them and you never discover them all...
@bloodsoup8377 3 жыл бұрын
The closest to admitting fault I ever got from my EX covert was “I’m sorry you feel that way”
@igorot1 3 жыл бұрын
Mine too he always said that words whenever i bring out things he had done wrong. Told me it wasn't wrong and he is sorry if i felt that way. For him all he had done was right.
@christine9411 3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@hannahaharoni6767 3 жыл бұрын
Mine says that everytime he's gaslightening me.....
@monikamona6844 3 жыл бұрын
Im sorry you feel hurt. That was the closest to his apology.
@somethinggood9267 3 жыл бұрын
Mine was "im sorry if you were hurt by me". Like what does that even mean?
@zigggyyyc7342 4 жыл бұрын
.. Also they are very passive aggressive!
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
Definitely!
@cococaptivating7611 4 жыл бұрын
And they punish you after an argument and if you apologize they can’t move forward or take responsibility for their part.
@cococaptivating7611 4 жыл бұрын
They have to keep bringing up the past and you thought that was resolved and they understood but no a year later they bring it up.
@tsin6506 4 жыл бұрын
BIG YES! It is like they are playing your mind and feeling like a yo-yo and kept you confused whether you should be offended or just forget about it.
@tsin6506 4 жыл бұрын
@Suddenly Impossible I am OK with silent treatment but the real problem with them is they are GREAT at SCREAM CAMPAIGNING.
@zigggyyyc7342 4 жыл бұрын
Another common one is in the early stages of the relationship they will tend to play the victim when talking about their past relationships, making out how horrible the other person was. This is usually a test to see if you're a good source of supply who will give them plenty of attention and reassurance.
@philomelodia 4 жыл бұрын
Zigggyyy C oh, God. How they do love the reassurance! Constant reassurance! Every day, every time, all the time, and their favorite way that they try to manipulate you seems to be “ if you really loved me you would do x” this way, they get what they want and a dose of reassurance all at the same time. Or, they back you into a trap by saying that you didn’t do something they wanted therefore it means you don’t love them and then you sit there and try to protest how much you love them until you just look silly. And they enjoy every minute of it. Then, you educate yourself and don’t play the game anymore and they lose their shit! Go completely bonkers.
@zigggyyyc7342 4 жыл бұрын
@@philomelodia oh they certainly panic if they feel like they're losing their control over you. Typically they use FOG - fear, obligation and guilt. One of my ex's most common phrases to use on me was 'oh that's not very gentlemanly of you ' if I wasn't bowing to her needs
@TLoveInfinity 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, this is one of the first things that a CN could test you with.
@santoparfano1910 4 жыл бұрын
Yes they won't show any accountability in past relationships
@eatanotherzio6811 4 жыл бұрын
My ex told me she always paid for everything in all of her previous relationships lmao I was a fucking moron for believing her
@raquelserrano2403 3 жыл бұрын
Its like they love you because to them you are perfect and then they realize that your “perfection” makes them look bad so they hate you perfection, but when they find out you aren’t perfect they hate it because they deserve someone perfect, but they would blame you for being perfect or for being imperfect and then- I just wonder how their logic doesn’t make them dizzy all the time.
@dean8705 3 жыл бұрын
This is very true
@inirafitzpatrick315 3 жыл бұрын
Literally my mom, my whole life 😞
@emmaadams9858 3 жыл бұрын
AGREED
@emmaadams9858 3 жыл бұрын
Like how are narcissists not EXHAUSTED
@Missb612 3 жыл бұрын
No wonder my ex always wanted an early night (one of the many ways he gave me so little time) . Sounds very exhausting to be like this 🙄
@annalee9067 3 жыл бұрын
A big sign, is that the Narcissist is ALWAYS right. If you happen to correct them. They take it as an attack & they don't like it.
@BJBlaskovichGaming 9 ай бұрын
Yep, my ex gf was like that, and then had the nerve to tell me post relationship, “you always had to be right.” I laughed and was like, when was I EVER right with you?!
@nano7586 2 ай бұрын
Probably the biggest sign. Talking with my ex was like talking with a wall.
@watcher. 4 жыл бұрын
They humiliate you in front of friends & family for their personal highs
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
So true. It's kind of like the playground bully who puts other people down to make themselves feel better.
@lillymu9142 4 жыл бұрын
You are on point, also they would laugh at you in front of their friends, and gossip behind you,and telling you they love you behind close doors, that's Devil to me..
@AmbyJeans 4 жыл бұрын
Mine would try to talk mess about me behind my back to mutual friends who wouldn't join in and would point out what she was doing was shady. That's when all of a sudden she would flip, saying I was her best friend and praising me as if she hadn't just tried to vilify me seconds before. The mutual friends never said anything to me until after our relationship was over because they didn't want to start anything and they thought I wouldn't believe them. Honestly, they're right. I would have found a way to defend her.
@katalynbabe 4 жыл бұрын
Yes theyre bullies
@edistib 4 жыл бұрын
They even do when you say sthg nice about them. I was told that a trait of mine is disgusting. And than oh guess was too hard...laughing..seriously is this funny? It's somehow funny he finds it funny in a sad way Uff
@alicec.6195 4 жыл бұрын
Major red flags from someone that had a few relationships with narcissists... They will tell you many times in the beginning that you are perfect. So much it will be uncomfortable. Also, they will blow up the first time for a small reason that you will never see it coming. I was so scared I was frozen and shaking, without a proper reaction. And later I told him I didn't like and I've got the obvious response: I didn't raise my voice, you are overreacting, you are too sensitive *rolls eyes and ignores you for 2 days. If your boyfriend makes you cry and acts like you're not there crying and doesn't talk to you for days, run.
@santoparfano1910 4 жыл бұрын
Yup...my covert narc used to call me her "perfect soulmate". A month into dating she just snapped at me out of nowhere. It was bizarre bc it was completely inappropriate for the situation. When I asked her why she snapped she denied it ever happened. I get it completely..
@infinityawaitsus 4 жыл бұрын
wow, i feel like you described my ex. i’m sorry you went through this too.
@eternitywithjesus777 4 жыл бұрын
Same happened to me. I agree...RUN!
@matmac888 4 жыл бұрын
What is with the silent treatment after calling them out?
@thisbeem2714 4 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry, but....do YOU understand why I did that?
@kimosabe818 3 жыл бұрын
Sheepish, shy, kind, easygoing....i thought i was so lucky
@somethingbambi875 2 ай бұрын
And so cute and adoreable. Never met anyone like them before... 😮😢 Sad to know it was all A lie.
@etchersplace 3 жыл бұрын
This is no joke! I've been married to one for 12 years, and just figured it out in the last few months. I feel so betrayed but I'm also onto him. I'm leaving this week and going home to my family where I am loved, not where I'm utilized and controlled. I'm done.
@etchersplace 3 жыл бұрын
@fooloof yes! I couldn't be happier!!
@SunnyBeetle1922 3 жыл бұрын
@@etchersplace best news al day... so glad you escaped ☺️🙏🏽💯💯
@etchersplace 3 жыл бұрын
@@SunnyBeetle1922 thank you!
@SunnyBeetle1922 3 жыл бұрын
@@etchersplace you’re so welcome. Now is your time to enjoy life.💛💛💛☀️🌈☀️🌈☀️
@redsquirrel1086 3 жыл бұрын
Coverts are superb actors. Mine deserved an Academy award. Initially she came across as shy, socially awkward and quite vulnerable, but it was an act. She quickly and accurately recognised that I was an empath and proceeded to emotionally dismantle me until I became a complete nervous wreck. I wish I knew then what I know now. I never realised these creatures existed until becoming entangled with one.
@redsquirrel1086 3 жыл бұрын
@Carol Mizelle I wish you well too. ♥️.
@timwalker4664 3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@jonsouthall7692 3 жыл бұрын
Sounds so familiar...
@saetae9208 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, creatures!
@juleso9797 3 жыл бұрын
Same here, she was an in law who twisted everything I did and said to make me look bad, and her the victim. Viscious , dangerous people like this can cause so much damage, best to cut ties completely!.
@Swakara1 4 жыл бұрын
When they actually "apologize" for something they did, their tone of voice is dry and dismissive and you get an uncomfortable sense that they don't really mean it.
@lisacampbell4705 4 жыл бұрын
MMine actually said, after 13 years: “ I’m so sick of apologizing. That’s why I don’t anymore” .My response: “ i don’t want an apology. I want you to stop doing the horrendous things you do. Then you wouldn’t have to apologize.
@metricdeep8856 4 жыл бұрын
Agreed. The apology was always clinical and textbook like. Never genuine.
@grdnvllycwgrl3319 4 жыл бұрын
Mines at this phase now. Unfortunately we have kids together and hes put them in the middle. He apologizes over and over, but ... yes so dry! So emotionless. Empty. Makes me feel gross, and then he wants to kiss me? Yuck! Very monotone in what he says. These apologies are after I called him out on being a narc and listed all the things hes done. Some he denied, some he couldn't remember, ... sure... But now he sees hes been wrong and I'm so sorry. I really want to fix this. I told u, u would be the last 1 I marry. It's all my fault, and it's ok if u never love me again
@shewho333 4 жыл бұрын
A true apology includes changed behavior.
@CosmicHazeTarot1111 4 жыл бұрын
Mine said sorry once in 13 years, it went like this, Im sorry youre upset but Im not sorry for what happened because it had to be that way!! When I found out about his last affair with a married woman and spoke to the womans husband, his reply I can never trust you again, I suppose you want me gone, I suppose you want me dead! Says it all really doesnt it!
@tehee3631 3 жыл бұрын
I love this comment section. I feel so understood. So many shared experiences ❤
@supersaturn4742 2 жыл бұрын
I feel sad reading the comment section... i'm not a monster! At least i don't want to be... 😢
@Jade-wb6fd 3 жыл бұрын
Narcissist rage eyes are scary but that’s how I finally saw the mask fall off
@Jade-wb6fd 3 жыл бұрын
@Jon Smith Yeah you’re right that’s so true
@yawnamousaj7856 3 жыл бұрын
Same.
@ezpz868 3 жыл бұрын
Dude seriouslyyyyyyy!! The rage eyes made me think omg he's gonna die of a heart attack by his own fault
@yawnamousaj7856 3 жыл бұрын
@@ezpz868 I thought mine would kill/hurt me 😅 now I just know how to verbally navigate carefully to still stand my ground and not have to see those eyes. Lol
@Konfide4043 3 жыл бұрын
What I saw was the eyes of a predator. They looked so hungry. I had never heard of a narcissist. In hindsight I feel so stupid for sticking around
@LG-vh2gs 4 жыл бұрын
My previous relationship was like 10 out of 11. You forgot to mention Walking on eggshells. :)
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
Great point! I did talk about that in one recent video... maybe signs you're dating a covert narcissist 🤔 But it's definitely relevant here too! Thanks for your comment! 🙏❤
@SLP8041 4 жыл бұрын
Oh YES. I remember feeling exactly like that! Very stressful.
@rsosa312 4 жыл бұрын
9 out if 11 for me. Out of 12 adding in the eggshells point.
@Swakara1 4 жыл бұрын
"Walking on eggshells" yup, you're absolutely right. They sure can dish it out but they can't take it if you point out an irritating habit, even in a diplomatic way; it rattles their grandiose self-image. They will try to justify themselves with all kinds of logical explanations as to why they are behaving like that and also project their flaws onto you implying that YOU are like them too.
@summerwinter4 4 жыл бұрын
Lawrence Gonzales that’s a BIG one!
@lwontherez7927 4 жыл бұрын
Also, if you’ve been emotionally abused by a narcissist for many years, After the discard phase and you have come to yourself….You may find that your own ability to empathize has been impaired due to years of lack of emotional support.
@cynthiakranz1033 3 жыл бұрын
I'm glad you said this. It's what I'm experiencing. Lack of emotional support is very damaging.
@weedlady9851 3 жыл бұрын
6 years with a very smart convert narc , and I still cry when I see videos on tik tok with poor people or sick ones . He couldn’t with my big heart , I’m so happy to know that I’m a good person , I really don’t want nothing from life , I just wanna be that good person forever .
@maryfreegirl2029 3 жыл бұрын
that's very much me, the worst parts are when i can _feel_ how the person is feeling but don't know how to act because i was never taught how to react to those emotions it's so frustrating, idk if it happens to somebody else :|
@lisa.hennessey19 3 жыл бұрын
This is where I'm now. Im still in the process of leaving but I have literally sbit down so much I am numb and no longer really have the ability to cry. I sometimes do but I used to be the kind of person who wore mt heart on mt sleeve and was very emotional. Id cry when happy or sad and now I just feel nothing.
@lauratheexplorer6390 3 жыл бұрын
Narcissists corrupt our empathy so we care less over time H.G Tudor said...
@robertlynn8802 3 жыл бұрын
I just did a final break up with someone I loved the most. She had all of those traits. Sad. Now I have to figure life out again
@stonedbunny5721 3 жыл бұрын
Just found out she's most likely a covert N. I knew something wasn't right and what a talented liar she is. All 11 traits & #12 user posted ALWAYS VICTIM Check! I guess her cell phone wasn't stolen (as she stated) at gunpoint while the assailant made her type in her pin code so the 2 gunmen could then give the phone to her ex boyfriend who then proceed to post all kinds of inflammatory stuff on her FB & told me they were in a 2 month affair while I was away and he snatched it while she was with him.
@almabyars6614 4 ай бұрын
Well, Don't talk feelings with them!
@rosemarie7816 3 жыл бұрын
I have kind of a strange one. I'm in a relationship with someone that I suspect is a covert narcissist. What is strange about the feelings and empathy is...he cries easily watching a movie or any other emotional show on TV, but he shows no empathy if I am in physical pain or emotional pain. He can seriously turn his back on me if I am upset and crying trying to talk to him and just go to sleep and sleep all night like a baby. When I am in physical pain or have an upsetting event like one time my tooth broke out in an area that was visible and i was so embarrassed and upset. He barely even responds to it. Often when i talk to him, he acts like he doesn't hear me...even if he's sitting right beside me, he just sits in stony silence and i have to ask him if he heard me. Then when he says he did, I say, why didn't you act like you did. He'll say, I didn't know what to say...i feel like I'm crazy for feeling like I have to explain that usually just a mmm...or looking at the person is an expected response.
@stephanielinda3771 3 жыл бұрын
He sounds terrible. Leave him asap. I'm sorry you're dealing w that
@lauratheexplorer6390 3 жыл бұрын
That’s awful, you don’t deserve that kind of shit treatment.
@amyjones4362 3 жыл бұрын
My partner is like this (especially feeling emotions for TV and inanimate objects but not me) and he is diagnosed Autistic. Life got easier post diagnosis. I'm not diagnosing your partner! It's just something you might want to look into/seek. Whatever that behaviour is the result of, it is VERY difficult to exist with. Loves to you x
@scp1234 3 жыл бұрын
Been in a similar situation to exactly this. Get out of it
@25dom62 3 жыл бұрын
It could be dissociation, but after watching this video I'm worried about my situation myself.
@siirifani4ever 4 жыл бұрын
Narcissistic apology is self-centered. The goal then is not to make the other person feel better and to attend to their feelings, but to make them pity you, to make it all about you again.
@floppa_meme Ай бұрын
Yes exactly!!!!
@mrwest8967 4 жыл бұрын
Basically the lights are on but nobody's home.
@J-Rc 4 жыл бұрын
Hilarious - covert Nex always kept a light on when he wasn’t home 😂
@Loveistheanswer8 3 жыл бұрын
Right something just doesn’t click no matter how hard they try to make it click.
@beebeerodriguez3801 3 жыл бұрын
So perfect
@margaritales9972 3 жыл бұрын
There *is* somebody home: a hateful destructive person.
@saramayaempireproductions8690 3 жыл бұрын
@@J-Rc or some people are blind af and trip on everything when they open the door 😂😂 not enough proof pick a new one .
@chocolatesmyjam8480 3 жыл бұрын
I used to be really close with my mother in law when I first met her... She had portrayed herself as a compassionate, caring, generous person, and in doing so, successfully deceived me. I would get little glimpses of her true self from time to time but always gave her the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't until I realized that she had a very "selective memory" when it came to details I've told her about my personal life... She never seemed to remember the stories I've told her that were "good" or "neutral"... But somehow she would always remember the bad, or embarrassing stories I've shared with her about me. She would use that information as ammo for future arguments or trying to turn people against me. They are some of the most scariest people I have come across because it is literally a wolf in sheeps clothing... I am even less trusting of people now
@hardrok312 3 жыл бұрын
I noticed that there was something off with my ex when he said that he doesn't need me that he only wants me.... Yeah... Just run.
@lexiemaep7930 4 жыл бұрын
Two early signs, they say their ex's were boring or crazy. Also, they dont like kissing. They will at first but will stop soon after.
@katemcl1124 4 жыл бұрын
Yep, calling all the exes crazy is a big red flag.
@Truseeker76 4 жыл бұрын
Lexie Mae why don't they like kissing
@lexiemaep7930 4 жыл бұрын
@@Truseeker76 its intimacy, which they hate
@Truseeker76 4 жыл бұрын
Lexie Mae makes sense!
@LLisa180 4 жыл бұрын
Lexie Mae yep exactly right! They don’t like kissing. Also robotic and mechanical on the sexual side of things. No emotion involved whatsoever
@Iminplaya 4 жыл бұрын
I could add #12 They are always the VICTIM🙄
@four-x-trading5606 4 жыл бұрын
Yep that one
@camillemccurty8237 4 жыл бұрын
Always...
@biba350 4 жыл бұрын
Yes
@stuartbrigham8832 4 жыл бұрын
…because they are. They are their OWN victim, but project that onto you.
@frida182 4 жыл бұрын
So true they always play the victim !!! Always know they is always two sides to every story
@Laughing_Lunatic 3 жыл бұрын
I knew I was going through it when I cried 8 minutes into this video. I haven’t cried in a couple years. This hit home again and I’m so grateful for these videos. I’m a co dependent BPD survivor who can’t leave narcissts alone but these videos give me life.
@devikabhat2615 3 жыл бұрын
God, I feel so happy because all these 5 years I thought I was overthinking and blamed myself.
@msileanacrist 4 жыл бұрын
My ex was a covert narcissist. He made me feel like I was always insecure I was never his priority.He would tell me he loved me but his actions never reflected it. I fell head over heals in love which was the lovebombing phase as explained. He isolated me from my family and turned me against them. Thinking it was my own thoughts and idea, the you and me against the world mentality if you will... My parents and siblings could see the affect he had on me. I wasnt happy go lucky like I was before him. I felt like there was always a cloud over me and didnt know why. My happiness always felt sucked out of me. I stopped talking to my friends and doing the things I loved... I remember my moment of clarity and felt like I needed to get out. It felt like I woke up from a spell, like an aha moment.
@Monique2631 3 жыл бұрын
This...this is what I'd like to feel.
@naomiaustin3560 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, they are energy suckers. Since everything revolves around them and their need for supply, you are left exhausted
@donnadunn2539 3 жыл бұрын
@@naomiaustin3560 don't buy into any story where he can turn your family against you... trust your gut...you know your family not loser
@bloodlily244 3 жыл бұрын
But im scared to leave i love him more than anything
@bloodlily244 3 жыл бұрын
He makes me want to kill myself but i love him so much
@alexandraki 4 жыл бұрын
Justifying their behaviour is often done by playing the victim. Mine told me right from the start that she had an extremely traumatic childhood (emotional abuse, violent alcoholic father, being abandoned etc...) which made me give her second chances all the time! She didn’t have to justify her bad behaviour I did it for her! 🤦🏻♀️ Also they are extremely jealous of others...resentful too.
@nh55871 4 жыл бұрын
Very true! I've lived with a malignant textbook covert narc for 23 years and he's ALWAYS either acting sick or playing victim to better manipulate people. He knows as long he plays victim and helpless people don't see him as a threat
@indiana_holmes 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds exactly like my ex
@MsAnchovey 4 жыл бұрын
@@nh55871Wow 23 years! I hope you're away from him now♡
@AmbyJeans 4 жыл бұрын
Same! I grew up with her and knew her family, the abuse was one thing she actually didn't lie about. Since I knew what she'd been through, I let her get away with everything.
@MsAnchovey 4 жыл бұрын
@@favouritecat Yes, no doubt they were abused, but no matter, it's STILL NOT an excuse for them to be abusive or to stay with an abuser. Regardless, the partner can forgive only so much, but unless the abuser takes deliberate steps to get addiction counseling (just like an alcoholic gets counseling and a stint in a rehab) the abused must get away and go No Contact. Narcs themselves are solely responsible for getting help/counseling for AS LONG AS IT TAKES to get get better. PERIOD. If they don't then they don't and they'll just have to pay the consequences just like all of us have to pay the consequences of our addictions and things that happen to us in life. NPD addiction in a nutshell is they're love addicts. They've got to have it yet at the same time they sabotage and ruin it for themselves.
@phantomwatcher8170 3 жыл бұрын
My experience is they always play the victim. Now when I hear someone say this raises an eyebrow and flag. Relationships, employment, etc. Never ever taking responsibility for their wrongs. Always players can’t stick with one person. Always have a harem garage full of others oh and let’s not forget... chronic liars. Lesson learned hard. Lesson well learned
@beebeerodriguez3801 3 жыл бұрын
The object constancy just explained everything about the break-up. I couldn't put it into words but yes. Unless I'm in front of him, i didn't exist. Amazing. Thank you.
@thearchive8687 4 жыл бұрын
I feel drained.
@bronwyntanner4501 4 жыл бұрын
I spent 14 years of marriage completely drained. Couldn't work out why I needed to sleep so much - and never felt rested!
@anauxistential8486 4 жыл бұрын
Exhausted, tired and worn out.#smh
@Jessica_BR 4 жыл бұрын
I feel it deeply
@santoparfano1910 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you bro. I'm exhausted and on year 25 of this nonsense. If I dont bail soon I'm genuinely afraid the stress from my marriage will destroy my health. Take care..
@eternitywithjesus777 4 жыл бұрын
Get out now
@jenniferwasinski3675 4 жыл бұрын
When my husband found out I had it figured out he started watching videos about this and is now trying to convince me I am the one with the problem. Typical huh
@jenniferwasinski3675 4 жыл бұрын
@@user-2911 I understand you pray for some kind of justice. You survived ❤. I'm still trying to leave, wish me luck. I know you know how hard it is. Best thoughts ❤
@jenniferwasinski3675 4 жыл бұрын
@@user-2911 Thank you for your reply. You're on point. Thank you for the spiritual uplifting ❤. Enjoy life and be happy
@dessertcactus 4 жыл бұрын
This happened to someone I know as well. Seems to be a common trait, good on you for not giving into it
@Jemmainadilemma 4 жыл бұрын
Best of luck, I hope you figure your way through this and find happiness :)
@lesnash6953 4 жыл бұрын
My exwife did that too
@BadWobot 3 жыл бұрын
I was friends with a covert narcissist for a long time. Things were great at the beginning, we had a lot in common. The love bombing was very strong. "You're the only friend I never fight with" was a manipulation tactic, to convince me I'm not like anyone else. To convince me to never argue with her. When I started making other friends outside of her circle of friends, she got jealous and started gaslighting me to isolate me. Cried if i didn't invite her to every single thing i wss doing, guilt tripped me for setting boundaries, sabotaged my plans with other people. I cut her out of my life and god it was a huge relief
@ladybird8375 3 жыл бұрын
These people don,t have empathy because they don’t have a concious. Even when they know you are hurt, they just don’t care, they go continue like nothing has happened.
@yoimpretty 4 жыл бұрын
They be in competition with you or have some jealousy 😖🥴
@naomiaustin3560 3 жыл бұрын
Yes, mine did, to the point that he attempted to steal my son's sneakers or show no interest when I went shopping, or the congrats where always fake, you can sense it. If I was on vacation, I would receive nasty messages, it was all because he was not there. He was not reaping the benefits of being with me.
@yoimpretty 3 жыл бұрын
Naomi Austin the worst!! I hope you left that’s just so toxic! Stole your sons shoes!? Oh no 😭
@naomiaustin3560 3 жыл бұрын
@@yoimpretty I have left and trying to completely disconnect myself. Currently he lives very close to me, but I am recovering..thank you..yes just toxic and jealous.
@yoimpretty 3 жыл бұрын
@@naomiaustin3560 you got this! You deserve better! No one deserves to be treated like that. You will recover completely ❤️
@naomiaustin3560 3 жыл бұрын
@@yoimpretty yes I left, just a very insecure and jealous person inside. Between the thousands behind in his own child support, criminal record, credit issues, he can pretend which he is pretty good at, and they all are, the hate and nastiness came from my exposure to his family of who he really was, no one had done that, so he was able to carry on the false sense of self and make everyone else the bad guy.
@liennguyen-ho2ln 4 жыл бұрын
My bf often get mad when I voice my opinion that opposed to his. He made it up that I was attacking him when we simply disagree. This happened quite often. Thanks this video is very helpful.
@abigail7083 3 жыл бұрын
Yep, your disagreements are a sign of attacking them
@maddyL1234 3 жыл бұрын
Thats Exactly the word they use as in "why are you attacking me?" If you want to discuss something.
@davidanderson8325 3 жыл бұрын
My soon to be ex wife would say I was belittling her if I didn’t agree with her or would be accused of “not having her back”
@siniviitanen7759 3 жыл бұрын
@@maddyL1234 100%
@SunnyBeetle1922 3 жыл бұрын
When I had a disagreement with a narc she got all her friends to write abusive messages on every social media account I had even after blocking g, they found me and stalked me. They accused me of having schizophrenia because I didn’t agree with what the narc said🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
@venaeprincess656 2 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOD. This is freaky. Especially the last point about object permanence. He literally said until I live with him under the same roof we’re not in a real relationship. Thank you so, so much for making these it’s really helping me process the hurt he caused me. I thought I was going crazy. ❤️
@CCaravasi 3 жыл бұрын
Omfg! Mind blown! 8 years and it's taken this long to come to this revelation! A friend sent me your video! Thank you so much. You've hit the nail on the head! I gotta get a plan and get out!
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
CaSandra c,You got a lovely smile 😊!!
@user-wm4je4ct8y 4 жыл бұрын
They latch onto you like a leech from day one. They are always there, always texting, calling, continuously. They want a close intense relationship immediately, and it's not always a romantic relationship they want, it's a seduction that's aggressive in some way and can be seen as just friendly, but aggressive and constant.
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
Definitely aggressive in forcing that connection. It's almost as though they think you'll run if you actually have time to get to know them like in a normal relationship 🤔
@cymbolichuman433 4 жыл бұрын
Run... do like she says
@Flutterbyby 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, like in appropriately personal on first day/week at work (new colleague)! Nice in public but starts putting m down in private! Aggressively wanting 1 on 1 lunches & standing way to close to me at work in the love bomb phase.
@Booboonancy 4 жыл бұрын
Someone once said that after the 3rd WTF moment, you need to pay attention or just plain get out
@1958Shemp 4 жыл бұрын
That reminds me of this gem o' wisdom: When someone tells you something about themselves (that WTF moment in particular), believe them.
@alexisrene5854 3 жыл бұрын
Can you give an example of a wtf moment?
@Booboonancy 3 жыл бұрын
@@alexisrene5854 really, it’s anytime someone says or does something that leaves you puzzled 🤨 or you catch them in a blatant lie.
@alexisrene5854 3 жыл бұрын
@@Booboonancy okay thank you for clarifying I want to be able to identify so I can learn from my past mistakes
@yltnaillirb4438 3 жыл бұрын
I noticed that I couldn’t look into his eyes during sex. And if I did I had to look away. Looking into his eyes felt weird. Almost like I was looking at the soul of someone I didn’t recognize even though we’d been together almost 2 years. There was almost an emptiness to them. I never had this problem with my ex.
@courtneyclark2817 2 жыл бұрын
Sooo true
@lexilexx1708 2 жыл бұрын
Mine refused to look at me during sex. Rarely gave me eye contact at anytime. But when arguing, would demand that I look him in the eye, like a way to hypnotize or manipulate me into believing him. 🤦🏾♀️
@MzBentluvsluv 2 жыл бұрын
Wow I’ve experienced the same thing
@Not_justamama 2 жыл бұрын
Anyone in this comment section ever felt nauseous during sex just about every single time and even threw up sometimes?
@ashleyshotwell3452 2 жыл бұрын
I didn't even realize it, but yes this happened to me too! There were a few times, but it was like the feelings (picture like an aura around someone) I was putting out hit a wall somewhere between us, or got sucked in by him, and there was nothing coming from him at all.
@youarebeloved 2 жыл бұрын
The love bombing stage hit me hard. I was so drawn to him for reasons I may never know, and he knew that. He knew all about my dreams and desires (travel, have a family, live on a farm, etc ) and he promised me everything. His actions never aligned with his words. It was months of him chasing (we live in different states) until we finally had just a few dates. He would say that if we lived in the same state we would be married already but never fully committed and continued to play victim of his trauma with his ex for the reasons behind his issues. I was always confused by the "push/pull" "hot & cold" behavior. He eventually became distant and ghosted me for a bit only to reappear and explain he tried commiting suicide and was dealing with mental health issues. I, like the empath I am, tried to be there for him and dismiss his treatment towards me. He eventually discarded me again and started dating other people but was still contacting me with things that "reminded him of me" but when I would start to do the same he would pull away and say he can't lead me on. We stayed in contact for a bit but he went on to call me crazy for " being in love and obsessed with someone I barely know" when I never even told him I loved him and was simply meeting the energy he would give me at times. I was constantly questioning my sanity and wondering if I was abusive or toxic. He eventually completely discarded me because he said he can't do long-distance. I may never know if he is a true narcissist but I do know I need much healing while I try to clear these cob webs of confusion he spun in my head for too long. I wish everyone great healing and love. ❤🩹
@dhirenshah3 4 жыл бұрын
11 signs to recognise a covert narcissist : 1. Intense soulmate connection 2. "Something is a little bit off" - Gut feeling 3. Cognitive Dissonance 4. Intense need to win, never apologising 5. Expert in justifying bad behavior 6. Insecure Feelings 7. Disproportionate rage or anger 8. Gaslighting 9. Lack of empathy 10. Lack of whole object relations 11. Insecure when apart
@bethhough5682 4 жыл бұрын
Dihren, number 12 Triangulation
@blackdiamond8 4 жыл бұрын
A million thanks!
@worriedbby7933 4 жыл бұрын
oh my god, that describes my terrible ex exactly!
@si6046 4 жыл бұрын
Got all 11 for my ex! Omg what an eye opener 🤦♀️
@hauntedwhispers8187 4 жыл бұрын
Oh I've been apologized to but he was laughing while he did it.
@jsmith7294 4 жыл бұрын
I dealt with a nun who was a covert narcissist. Master manipulator and has half her religious community fooled that she's an absolute saint. It's scary.
@Mike-xt2lh 4 жыл бұрын
Word I met a girl who said she could of been a nun she was far from that lol .
@summydots 4 жыл бұрын
Same. Knew a woman once who said she so wanted to be a nun. But they didn't let her in. So she married & had a child. Pretences too be the most religious & righteous of all people she ever meets, the only people she has any real respect for are probably the priests. Turns out she was selling to them & sexually molesting her own daughter all these years
@asseyez-vous6492 4 жыл бұрын
I have a similar experience but it's a priest who I've discovered who's a covert. I haven't been to mass since, and don't know how I can report it? Coz it's hard to let others know who think they're wonderful, but I've seen through the mask, and feel I have to let at least the bishop know. But I'm afraid I'll be passed off and seen as a cuckoo!
@mitiaoliver9738 4 жыл бұрын
That’s her trauma. Someone(s) treated her like that. Let’s pray for her deliverance.
@omills22 4 жыл бұрын
What does the other half say/think/do?
@troimusic 2 жыл бұрын
The difficult thing about cover narcissism is that some of the traits mimic autism. So it can be difficult to tell whether you are dealing with an autistic who has been misunderstood and traumatized by social interactions for most of their life or a covert narcissist. As an autistic person myself I traumabonded with someone I now realize to be a narcissist because their traits mimiced some of mine. Things like lack of object permanence and lack of emotional empathy - those are common among autistic people. It really is important to have the sum of these parts, I found it really helpful to hear about the feeling insecure, gaslighting, future faking and hoovering, to really add up the sum to be sure.
@jakedriver7453 2 жыл бұрын
Autistic people lack cognitive empathy, not emotional empathy.
@SRWJ Жыл бұрын
Fellow neurodivergent (adhd/asd) 🙋🏼♀️ I'm only just learning about narcissism and cluster b personality disorders, I'm learning and researching due to a new relationship. It's been so hard for me to distinguish Autistic/adhd traits from narcissism because of how similar they are. I also saw certain traits in my partner and believed their current bpd diagnosis could be a misdiagnosis and they're actually asd (he has distanced himself from the bpd diagnosis and this gave me even more reason to think it may be misdiagnosed). Also like you, hearing other actions and behaviours helps me see that he is not asd and I'm not narcissistic. It can be so confusing though 🤯
@VeronicaMonet Жыл бұрын
For me, the gaslighting and zero accountability are my clues that narcissism is at play
@bicho.cosmico Жыл бұрын
For me, If the person makes me feel bad is because there's something wrong. Sometimes we wont have the diagnose, but we have the certainty that the person is not a good companion for us in life.
@GaslightingIsEvil 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this because I've noticed that people throw around the term but they are just wrongly labelling and bullying autistic people I was one of them and ironically they are the ones not to have remorse or empathy
@georgemallory797 2 жыл бұрын
I'm with one. She started early on trying to tell me she thought I was a narcissist. I started seeing signs that she was actually the narcissist. She said her ex was labelled as a narc by her therapist and that a common defense among narcissists is to call the other person a narc. It's left me feeling like I might actually be one all these years and worried about it. I'm finally keying into the possibility that SHE is actually the narcissist. It's been a rough go. All I know is she can never apologize or be happy for me. She never tries to be supportive or encouraging for anything I try to accomplish. It wasn't until reading these comments that the fact that she's never looked me in the eye during sex is not right. She gaslighted me last year for 3 months when I suspected she was spending time with another man. I found out I was right AFTER she spent 9 days with me in Florida. I just started seeing these videos today out of the clear blue in my recommendations. This is a sign. I'm sad and disturbed.
@debsabatino311 4 жыл бұрын
Definitely all 11. The lack of empathy just kills me. I think they use all of their empathy on themselves, therefore, have nothing left to give.. there's no room left in their brains or hearts to feel for anyone else!
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
The lack of empathy is the most difficult to understand. When you have it, it's near impossible to imagine not having it
@renewyourmind1815 4 жыл бұрын
Brilliantly put!
@proudsone2000 4 жыл бұрын
@deb sabatino Me too!😔
@christinehaigh9807 4 жыл бұрын
They blow up quickly about anything.
@hannahscott6604 4 жыл бұрын
Or they stonewall because you having an outburst and them just being there gives them power
@marysunshine4730 4 жыл бұрын
Yep toilet paper put on wrong, cabinet door left open.
@princetonshot 4 жыл бұрын
Yup. Mine freaked out on me and started kicking the trash can after I lifted the lid to throw something out instead of using the little foot thing to open it. He was so controlling it was insane.
@alexandriautumn 4 жыл бұрын
Yup. My ex flipped his lid because I wasn't chopping the onion correctly. And one time while I was staying over at his house and he was at work, I decided to tidy up his kitchen just to be nice. Didn't say thank you at all. His response was, "I didn't ask you to clean it, so why would I say thank you??" WhAT.....? The mind of a narcissist. I will never understand.
@haleydoe2279 4 жыл бұрын
My ex started a fight with me for wanting to knit. On my off time. In my own home.
@sibylleherbe8260 2 жыл бұрын
You just described the person I’ve been calling my best friend for 25 years. 10 out of the eleven fit her to a T. I’m kind of in shock. I knew there were issues from the start, I knew she was not a healthy person emotionally, but I did not ever consider covert narcissism to be the problem. I’m not sure where to go from here, except that the relationship is deteriorating. Much food for thought. Thank you.
@johnmaus4408 9 ай бұрын
Kristina, this is a powerful vid. I was married 34 years to someone who demonstrated many of those characteristics. She is a super intelligent woman and does most things she attepmts well. I was and am proud of that. Unfortunately she was raised by a self centered overt narcissist that scapegoated her. I was empathetic to that and gave allot of space for the behavior that was an enigma. She was nice most of the time although I cannot ever recall her taking ownership for an error and apologizing and asking for forgiveness. I dont recall one time that happening. We argued little but when we did she would mind read and always the tell me how I felt about her and it was always bad. I actually loved her very much but didn't understand that bizzare behavior. On thing this vid answered for me was why we struggled several times when I was away for a period of time. The relationship was in question several times and that gut feeling you described was present. What ended our relationship was her staying with our adult kids in another state. She gaslighted me and many other things. Sad really because deep inside her is a good person. She also seems like a Dismissive Avoident. Anyway good vid
@alexap.4816 4 жыл бұрын
Don't forget trying to act like a hero to everyone, buying people things and helping them with things especially when OTHER PEOPLE ARE WATCHING, just to get the affirmation and validation--the 'You're an amazing person!' etc. compliments, and proof for their inner broken selves that they're good. Yes, a narc doesn't really do anything for others out of compassion and selflessness. It always circles back to them trying to prove they are the BEST friend in their circle, the BEST person in the neighborhood or work place...this can even go as far as a narc crying over world disasters in front of their 'audience' or donating to charity and then posting about it for validation on social, etc.
@phoenixmode6909 4 жыл бұрын
Mine is doing that right now. Even though I called it quits after 36 yrs, went out and got a crap job so I could find an apartment asap (once I'm out, I'll have time to find a better job) , he is giving me my space, we keep a wide berth away from each other. (Due to COVID & my initial lack of $ & job, we are separated under same roof). He is constantly trying to "help me" get on my feet, offered to give me money to put down on apartment once I find one, I need better shoes for work, he wants to buy them for me (motivated really by, it's a BOGO thing and he wants a new pair), gave me the car and wants to put it in my name (everything incl our house has been in his name for years, i never thought I would leave, neither did he.) He is being nicer now that he knows I am really leaving and done this time. Why couldn't ha have been as kind and generous when I was giving my all to the relationship?
@jidablog 3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely! Covert Hex is such a hero in his town. Everybody “loves” him, jus throwing money to every problem and being always the “savior”, while totally emotionally neglecting and abandoning his wife and kid.
@solidstate9451 3 жыл бұрын
Several hundred people attended the funeral of my mother. When I was the only person around me, she never said anything nice about even one of them. But: She never said nice things about me, either.
@sheenaj1671 3 жыл бұрын
@@phoenixmode6909 Watch out he's trying to love bomb you again so you won't leave him. Don't do it it's a trap.
@phoenixmode6909 3 жыл бұрын
sheena J It's all good! I let him pay. Didn't care. He owes me. Wait'll he sees the marital settlement agreement I'm drafting. I moved out, filed for divorce in 9/11( also was two days after his birthday.) They finally caught him home to serve the papers. He called immediately the next day. Guess he underestimated me. Haven't heard from him since. Nice to have some silence, but a bit unnerving, not knowing what he's up to. The courthouse says he hasn't responded yet. He has another 2 weeks to respond to the summons, and the clerk said if he doesn't, they'll notify the judge.
@vampireslayer1989 4 жыл бұрын
I do not "suspect ", I know. The only thing worse than a passive aggressive covert narcissist or BPD, is being a unaware codependent. You must listen to your gut. Love your vids and presentation.
@recovered4life 4 жыл бұрын
TOTALLY.
@marshasanmiguelmabcbalba973 4 жыл бұрын
Yesssss!!!!
@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын
My ex was BPD and a narcisstic. She hated when I ate all the food from my plate. She told me it made her look bad. Like she never feeds me at home especially when we were at a restaurant. She worried about her image all the time. I told her to find someone else she can manipulate. It's so petty.
@scoobysnax8127 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, the lack of object permanence makes so much sense in so many situations/relationships I’ve dealt with. In one case, I’d travel frequently for work and always had this weird underlying feeling. I later found out that partner was up to no good, in some form, most times I was away. It really triggered him. In other cases, I’ve been pursued by guys who claim to be happy in their relationship and it’s usually when the partner is not around (at work, on study trips, etc). It’s like they resent their partner for being away, even though they are working/studying etc. Selfish toddlers! Ugh. I’m so done with these worms, but somehow they find a way to squirm into your life. At least now I’m better at stomping it out as soon as I get a whiff of narc stench. Pass the repellent spray.
@lorangeamere2435 3 жыл бұрын
When someone says "YOU pushed ME to do it / say it" .... RUUUUUUUUUUUUN
@rebeccapaulk11 4 жыл бұрын
You nailed all 11 characteristics. Each time you hit a bullet point, I had an Ahha moment. I have spent most of my life working to make this marriage work; now I realize that it has only been an exhausting game that will never end.
@raekelseykimbrough2171 2 жыл бұрын
I'm in the same place😢
@harryjezreel1653 2 жыл бұрын
RUN but quietly if you haven't already. It's not worth it. Life's way too short. Other than that, wishing you all the best.
@stepans2167 2 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry
@catherinejimenez206 4 жыл бұрын
All of them...literally all of them. It is the scariest thing I've had to live through. I have PTSD because of it. Nothing will stop them
@KaranBali108 3 жыл бұрын
Oh my God I just went through the Narcissists Discard and for days couldnt figure out what happened. Every point has been checking off point by point and in the end when I told her I missed the girl who once cried for me when I was vulnerable she replied "Do you hear yourself? You want someone to be unhappy with you?" Wow. You just blew my mind and gave me the closure I needed. Up to this point I was blaming myself and being extra hard on myself.
@maragiovanni4234 3 жыл бұрын
It's insane how they desperately expect us to constantly pamper them and reinforce their entire existence and yet they treat us like shit. Which totally explains why my Narc is so wasteful and doesn't take care of ANY of his belongings. He's always breaking stuff, very careless and messy. Hmm 💭
@93Jubilee 4 жыл бұрын
After decades of mistreatment (to put it mildly) at the hands of my older sister, I finally realized that she suffers from deep narcissism. After a few more years (!), I finally realized the next step to freeing myself was forgiving her. It was practically impossible (she had turned other family members against me out of her own jealousy), until one day I glanced at an old family photograph. What I saw there was one happy little five year old (which was me) and a miserable-looking, sad little seven year old. It broke my heart. And the forgiveness poured in. I don't know what caused her unhappiness, but it was palpable in that photograph and now, as we've both aged, it's visible in her facial lines. If you can forgive, it is the best path to healing. And it may even help them to heal a little. It's almost as if she is missing a limb or has some physical impairment, but is totally unaware of it.
@kathi9026 3 жыл бұрын
Narcissism creates more narcissism... Maybe think about ways your Patents treted her wrong you didn't realise
@lexilexx1708 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly the same! Even the age difference. I've tried to give many chances, but even as adults, the toxicity is extreme. Family has a perception of me based on rumors she's spread. I Feel sorry for her really...and my neices. But I recently realized that I can't have her in my life. It's too unhealthy for me. 😔
@tammiepascual8311 Жыл бұрын
I agree 100% regarding forgiving, but I do think it is in your best interest or anyone’s best interest not to live with the person you have forgiven as they will continue to hurt. The distance will help.
@kumaridesilva3992 4 жыл бұрын
"apologize but then do it again and again and again" - wow, that was my ex-husband for sure. I wondered at the end why he even married me when he so obviously did not like even the most basic things about my personality. I now realize he didn't know anything about me really, was attracted to me based solely on looks and then felt angry and frustrated by my behavior. . .he was so mad my idealized looks didn't match my personality
@CookieMonster-rb2fn 4 жыл бұрын
yep mine too
@Elizabeth84517 4 жыл бұрын
Amen. The only thing my ex didn’t say anything negative about was my looks, but he wanted me to not wear makeup, made comments about how I dressed, which wasn’t inappropriate at all, and I believe it was because he was so insecure he didn’t want me to leave, and thought if I looked good someone would steal me from him. I told him over and over I wouldn’t leave. Ironically it was him who pushed me away with the emotional abuse and terrible verbal tirades
@moonie7155 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for teaching me about lack of object constancy!! I thought I was going insane with how my ex treated me when we weren’t together. I recently just broke up with him because he literally treated me like just a friend or an acquaintance when we would text and not be physically together. He wouldn’t want to spend time with me via phone calls or video games and instead would spend all his time watching tv at his place like I didn’t even matter. But then in person he would act all lovey dovey and like I was his gf again. He rarely thought of me when we weren’t together, would go hours or a full day not talking to me, never surprised me, or bought me anything just because he was thinking of me. So many red flags but I’m such a super empath I really tried giving him the benefit of the doubt.
@milliebro Жыл бұрын
Wow your description completely describes my recent ex as well. So spooky. Thank you for sharing!
@rainbows.and.butterflies Жыл бұрын
Yeah Wow! Mine claimed to spend all his free time with me. Yet I never saw him. He was home by himself every night and I live 9 minutes away. We even tried starting over and he canceled on our first two dates and understand why I would be upset we have plans made and I’d be so excited and something stupid would come up and he would cancel like I had absolutely no priority whatsoever in his life.
@moonie7155 Жыл бұрын
@@rainbows.and.butterflies omg YES!! My ex would say the same about how much time he spent with me but in reality I saw him maybe once or twice every week or two. He only lived 30 minutes away. He would always say that he devoted all his free time to me and that he needed to focus on work… but then just wouldn’t talk to me most of the day or anything. It was so confusing and I once even confronted him and asked if he was cheating on me and he said “when would I even have time to do that?” Who the hell answers that question like that????
@raynbillson2601 6 ай бұрын
8 years... within the first few months there were signs.. now that Ive been discarded im educating myself and this video literally checks EVERY single box. My body and mind are a mess.
@bookworm8792 4 жыл бұрын
"Tell me exactly what you know about me supposedly cheating and I'll explain how those things are wrong." Literally wanted me to give him a map of how to lie to me 😂
@recovered4life 4 жыл бұрын
I never thought of it that way!!!
@user-ot6eb2tg4z 4 жыл бұрын
LMFAO
@mysterylady5995 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly its listening to that kind of insanity
@missTmntntops 3 жыл бұрын
Its like they want to know exact details so they can think of ways to disprove them because they're always right.
@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын
Narc thinks that oral, anal, kissing, fondling, or massaging isn't cheating. Anything besides the act of a penis in the vagina isn't sex. It's really disturbing. I argued this disagreement so loud, I lost my voice and realized I was arguing with a mental case. I had to leave the relationship. I can't do narcs anymore. Nope, moving on.
@johnroekoek12345 4 жыл бұрын
12 Keeping you away from friends and family?
@charisahood6571 4 жыл бұрын
Mine literally told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to my friends and family about the things that were bothering me in the relationship because it was "messing with his reputation." I can't believe I didn't get out of there sooner
@fproszek 4 жыл бұрын
Definate
@johnroekoek12345 4 жыл бұрын
@@fproszek I miss my brother so much. Almost half a year. We were fine before.
@santoparfano1910 4 жыл бұрын
Yes
@bezejmennylotr6813 4 жыл бұрын
@@johnroekoek12345 What keeps you to not be able to change it?
@MelissaRonda10 3 жыл бұрын
This is the best covert narcissist video I’ve seen. Thank you so much for sharing this.
@catladyjai1113 3 жыл бұрын
Amazing info. I still have so much to learn and I realize I wasn't ready to date. All those times I thought I was being rejected but I was being protected from narcissists and people with bad intentions for me. I am so grateful for that!
@junebeasley802 4 жыл бұрын
He asked me to marry him 3 months into starting the relationship. Love BOMBED me to death. THIS VIDEO IS ON POINT. MY SECOND RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE. THEY ARE VERY SICK HUMAN BEINGS. THE TOXICITY AND STRESS THEY BRING TO YOUR LIFE IS (ABUSIVE ) BUT U OVERLOOK IT, BECAUSE U THEN GET THIS UNNERVING. PLAIN AND SIMPLE EMOTIONAL ABUSIVE. DISTANCE YOURSELF, PRAY WITHOUT CEASING AND MOST OF ALL DISTANCE YOURSELF PLEASE !
@ServantStatusMinistries 3 жыл бұрын
June Beasley I’m glad you say pray because otherwise they don’t even see how they are and are the first to call you the narcissist
@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын
Amen. I had a constant tightness in my chest from anxiety. I kept telling myself something is wrong and let this girl go. I finally walked away from that bitch, and the tightness went away. Amazing !!I'm happy I made the change. Time to get my life back and be free. Thank you lord Jesus for pulling me out of hell.
@FaithfulandTrue949 4 жыл бұрын
Sweet mean cycle, there's always strings attached to gifts.
@nakitapalmer656 3 жыл бұрын
OMG...YES!!!
@mackynzeedeere3735 3 жыл бұрын
Omg yes! He felt like he wasn’t appreciated because he got me gifts and things in the beginning and I always said thank you I was grateful but since I didn’t get him any gifts back he didn’t feel appreciated....
@blgallas 3 жыл бұрын
I always told my ex, I’m not for sale. I don’t want gifts, I just want you to be nice to me.
@socialitarobotica 3 жыл бұрын
This explanation of black and white thinking where the person is unable to separate good from bad is really helpful thank you.
@RichD2024 Жыл бұрын
I didn't know about that 11th thing but it makes perfect sense. My narc ex, when she discarded me the first time, she had gone to visit her mother out of the country. When she left I dropped her off at the airport and she was so affectionate. She said, "I miss you already", "I don't know what I'm going to do a whole week without you ". When she came back, she was a totally different person. It's like they kidnapped my girlfriend and replaced her with an evil twin. She said she didn't love me, didn't want to be with me because when she was with her mom she didn't miss me, she said she didn't even think about me. This was as drastic a difference as you can get from the person she was before the trip. Anyhow, thanks for the great video. Further confirms that I 100% was dealing with a covert narcissist. She had all 11 traits you described.
@coheedfan1012 4 жыл бұрын
The recent narcs I've interacted with have made negative comments about my apartment, clothing and lack of wealth. These comments were made early in the interactions, and I was too shocked to respond appropriately. I can't believe I allowed such rude comments and behavior to go unchecked, and I still hung out with them, pathetic. No more though. Next narc will be tossed to the curb after the first insult--zero tolerance.
@user-ot6eb2tg4z 4 жыл бұрын
if its a lot, recent, and they talked about common things maybe all those people weren't narcs but just being honest 🤣
@emilycunningham8125 4 жыл бұрын
These monsters are anything but human, as you described them. They are creatures who have no empathy or remorse and know exactly what they are doing. No excuses for them.
@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын
It's sad when the narc has a child. They begin to act just like them. Growing into a demon without morals.😢
@amyreneetaylor8920 3 жыл бұрын
I love how you jumped right into your message! Thank you for being so concise!
@susanlittle2634 3 жыл бұрын
all 11 I can not believe I never reacted as I should have 3 years ago. Thank you for this video.
@christianpulisic7784 3 жыл бұрын
susan little,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@toneman335 4 жыл бұрын
Ever take notice how empty and boring most Narcs are? This is especially true with a covert female Narc!
@trinathompson5656 3 жыл бұрын
Very boring and self absorbed
@damianreid2452 3 жыл бұрын
Moreover, have you ever noticed how self absorption and self awareness in a person are traits which always seem to exist in inverse proportion to one another?
@Loveistheanswer8 3 жыл бұрын
The most boring nothing deep about them. Generic conversations are constant.
@exovit6348 3 жыл бұрын
i suspect my ex was a narcissist and he was very interesting and smart. i enjoyed talking to him. he left me because of my bpd and i havent been able to get over him hoping we can work things out soon.
@donnadunn2539 3 жыл бұрын
@@exovit6348 they feel bored because they are empty and unable to create a sense of their own worth...dump him ...not worth it a complete loser...move on
@kwalla2429 4 жыл бұрын
The empathy issue is sooo hard to detect, but I've learned it feels as though the other person is operating from a relationship "manual" instead of acting out of their feelings. They actually have to think "what is the right response?" This is a great video. Thank you for this.
@FruityHachi 3 жыл бұрын
yep they say things what they think people want to hear, but they don’t mean any of it
@somethingbambi875 3 жыл бұрын
When you nearly take your own life and end up in the hosptial and then hear that it's not your right to feel bad, you should say sorry to them for your behavior... then you should know. But you don't, 6 years later is when you see things more clearly. And you are the one living with all the scars. I can see clearly now... And it bloody hurts. I am addicted not having empathy now... It's sad
@terrbear1866 3 жыл бұрын
Mine actually admitted he had to check the response of everyone in the room to know how to respond accurately.
@michaelcliffe562 Жыл бұрын
Yes! Thats so true. And if they don't have a response in their data base, they just gawk at you with a blank stare like an android that is being rebooted, until you ask them whether anyone is home up there. But there never is.
@jro2242 3 жыл бұрын
This video would have saved me years of pain and therapy years ago :( Blessings to anyone going through this.
@suegarand5325 2 жыл бұрын
All 11. It’s so nice to know that someone understands
@wadisanaa 4 жыл бұрын
this should be part of a school curriculum …...I gotta admit that I never thought there are people out there who are born narcissistic , cover or otherwise.
@PrizmSeeR 4 жыл бұрын
They learn it. It's something that they lacked from loved ones that stopped emotional maturity.
@tomobedlam9045 4 жыл бұрын
One year with my Covert Narcissist/Dismissive Avoidant: MONTH one : Great MONTH two : Greater MONTH three : Fabulous (heavy love bombing starts...) MONTH four : Heaven (I love you...) MONTH five : Seventh heaven... MONTH six : Mask starts to come off (devaluing starts...) MONTH seven : full devalue/dismissive behavior, refusal to talk about issues by ignoring... MONTH eight : distancing/lying begins (gaslighting also)... MONTH nine : lying clearly shows... MONTH ten : Frustration sets in... MONTH eleven : Everything is my fault... MONTH twelve : I left her for good, NO contact at all, PERIOD MONTH thirteen : MONTH fourteen : Her; closure letter mailed to me. Me; Still NO contact, too late for her, DO NOT RESPOND.
@dawna4185 4 жыл бұрын
awesome!!!!!!
@AmbyJeans 4 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on not going back! I wish I could say the same. They are exhausting creatures 😒
@dawna4185 4 жыл бұрын
@@AmbyJeans don't beat yourself up...when we go back it just means we have some more lessons to learn about ourselves...delve deep into why you go back. when you discover this, you can then work on it and get to a point where your love for self is so strong that tolerating ANY form or degree of abuse from ANYONE will NEVER be acceptable!! xo
@yabe1496 4 жыл бұрын
Great description!, they seem to have the same script behavior.
@dieseldejavu 4 жыл бұрын
Ralph perfect description. Mine was same except masked slipped in month 7.
@nycthinklab966 3 жыл бұрын
You have literally saved me and hundreds of others with your knowledge. Thank you.
@conniefenton8178 3 жыл бұрын
This is absolutely insane!!! I didnt even know narcissist was a thing and now I've done it twice. First 20 years and a closet/vulnerable narcissist alcoholic. Escaped that and now a Toxic covert narcissist that has all 11 of these, all 20 of another therapist video and there goes 7 yrs. Good thing I saw some videos and good thing I'm already out. There needs to be more of this education out there. Thank you for the video you do an excellent job of making the difficult narcissist descriptions understandable.
@lioydwilliams1850 3 жыл бұрын
Connie Fenton,hope you are not with a narcissist cause you are too precious!
@rebeccamiranda6041 4 жыл бұрын
Wow, my Ex hit all 11! I was in a relationship for 4 years off and on, as you can imagine, with a covert narcissist. He broke up with me 10 months ago stating I was an insecure, crazy woman that just wanted to control him. Yet he was going to give me an opportunity to prove to him that I could love him the way he deserved to be loved. I was devastated and would have done anything to be back with him. So for months and months I tried to "fix" myself so he would accept me. Then something hit me one night during an argument with him and I jumped on youtube to start researching. He had once told me during a converstation with his ex wife that she called him a narcissist. It was a sign, the first video on opened up "fit like a glove." It was exactly what I was experiencing. I even sent him the video. He laughed at me and called me a narcissist. However that was 5 months after the the intentional break up. It has now been 10 months in total and has been an emotional roller coaster. To be honest, it has felt like hell. I'm working so hard to educate myself so I can let go of this monster, but I find myself still getting pulled back in sometimes. This abuse is real and it is damaging. I feel for anyone who has experienced this kind of pain. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through in my 38 years on this earth. I pray I can finally be rid of this man from my life for good and can start to heal. My biggest problem right now is the thought of him falling "in love" with another woman. It tears me heart apart but I'm really trying to work on loving myself. Thank you so much for your videos. You have no idea how they have been the place where I can find some comfort and sanity from this insanity that I was living.
@marybarratt879 4 жыл бұрын
Hi, I suffered in the same way for nine years. Please move on because you can't change them and you won't have a life until you do. Just feel sorry in your heart for the next woman. You are worth so much more and deserve better. These types are just control freaks.
@C21agent1 4 жыл бұрын
Rebecca Miranda You can only hope he falls for some poor clueless soul so you can be rid of him ! Run go no contact! Save yourself heartache, financial ruin, your health.
@ihabimam1 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your story. I was with my ex for 6 years and its so reassuring that what I've gone through others understand. I've felt so alone and ashamed and confused. I've tried to live up to her expectations and be the person I thought I needed to be to love her unconditionally and hold space for her chaos, rage, devaluation and abuse. Now I realise I've been trying to make a relationship work with someone who has no idea how to align with me. I'm sorry you all had to experience such pain and difficulty. Thank you for sharing
@MrsNsf74 4 жыл бұрын
Your story is my story. I am sorry
@ursiedotromshanti 4 жыл бұрын
Hope you’re doing better. My advice is look after yourself, meditate, take baths, read, do yoga, spend time in nature try to nurture yourself and your soul however that feels best for you. Cut contact block his number, unfriend him on social media...if you need contact only agree to email. Don’t try to explain too much or defend yourself as it will always be your fault and everything you say will be used against you. The quicker you do this the quicker you’ll recover. You can do this cutting of cords with love. Hopefully this other lady will see through him quick and fingers crossed he’ll eventually connect the dots and get help x good luck 💗
@warorislam 4 жыл бұрын
They create drama around them and then sit back silently sickily grinning watching everything. it makes them look the sane wise ones as they sit there quietly and are eagerly waiting to be approached for advice. This achieves their goal by making them feel importantl.
@lc4972 3 жыл бұрын
I watched my ex do this a few times.
@sandybroderick2932 3 жыл бұрын
OMG...11 OUT OF 11!!!!! Thank you so much for this video!!!!! This was so informative and so valuable!!!! This has helped me so much. Sending love and courage to all Nar. Survivals out there!!!! 💜
@bluecrow7627 3 жыл бұрын
My ex had me so convinced I was crazy. I'm a very sensitive person and he was really good at breaking me down. He was closest to me when I was miserable... Being the one who nursed the tears that he had caused.
@melmel8907 4 жыл бұрын
1. Intense soulmate connection. Love bombing phase. They feel connection, say they love you very early, and idealize you. But it turns to abuse over time. 2. Something felt a little off. 3. Cognitive dissonance that I experience when with person whose words and actions don’t align. We feel like we are crazy because we notice they are not doing what they say they are going to do. They say they love me but they hurt me. 4. Intense need to win. Not always as obvious as what we think. 5. They justify bad behavior because they have “Good reason”. 6. How do I feel when I am with this person. You start out feeling awesome but later you’ll feel them taking your flaws apart. 7. Gaslighting - often happens around cheating. Narc is cheating and you feel like / know Narc is cheating. You confront Narc & they’ll blow up and turn tables on you. 8. Lack of empathy. 9. 10. 11. Darn missed a few.
@wendymosher4386 4 жыл бұрын
I experienced all of the 11 characteristics, Narcs are con artists. They project to the world that they are amazing people but when they get you alone the crazy making behavior comes out. My boyfriend hides behind being a former pastor which gives him creditability. I fell for him at first. He left ventricle bombed me with gifts, cards, flowers, words of affirmation and more. I thought he was perfect. Then the 11 characteristics came out, the rage attacks, sudden personality shifts, accusing me of things I did not do, calling me names, telling me I’m crazy, he stole from me, lied and more. I was a con job so he would get money and I believe his ex wife was in on it. We broke up about a year ago and he went back to his ex wife. I’m a fraction of the person I used to be. I see humanity in a much darker light and do not trust people like I used to. Now I’m overly cautious and dating is really difficult because I’m afraid I’ll end up with another Narcissistic. This last experience almost destroyed my spirit and life energy. Crazy thing is the general population does not understand Narcissism so people don’t understand the abuse. It’s a lonely experience. Thank you
@rebeccastephens6447 4 жыл бұрын
You are spot on my previous pastor was like this with me. It devastated me especially because he was supposed to be a man of God. Pray to Jesus, He will heal your broken heart. Inbox me on Facebook if you’d like.....it helps to talk to someone who understands because you’re right...most people treat us victims like we’re crazy.
@jmhernandez24 4 жыл бұрын
You are not alone. So many can relate. Sending you love and peace. You are actually the wiser one. Trust that.
@sandravorenholt 4 жыл бұрын
You are not alone in this. It will take some time to heal and for you to feel like this now, I can relate to that! But I can assure you when the right one comes along, you will be able to feel and trust again! Give it time, to build your self confidence and self love and you will be able to trust again. Wish you all the best of luck..
@marybrandt4832 4 жыл бұрын
I totally understand and am going through same....
@florarenales2002 3 жыл бұрын
Literally cried listening to these as i checked marked 9 out of the 11.
@rosannacharves2764 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. You hit home on so many things. I am truly saddened. All these years and I finally have a name for all the actions and situations in my marriage.
@Afarmer690 4 жыл бұрын
I've tried giving my husband examples of how he would feel or a time when he has felt the way he is making me feel. Until recently, I believed I was getting through to him. Then I overheard him tell his daughter to just apologize to her biological mother and that it didn't matter if she meant it or not. He literally told her that apologizing would get her mom to leave her alone and that's all that matters. I confronted him on this and his response was that I was being ridiculous. We had gotten into an argument earlier in the week so he was already giving me the cold shoulder but when I confronted him about his comments to his daughter he blew up. I was petty, ridiculous and crazy for thinking he had ever done that to me. I no longer have any doubts that he is a covert narcissist. He fits the description almost 100%
@camilleharris3457 4 жыл бұрын
I appreciate more videos on the coverts! I would add that instead of rage he was extremely passive aggressive, that was the only way he knew how to show anger. Usually making me late, hiding keys, claiming he forgot something he had been reminded of several times. Also porn addiction and no sense of humor. Great video!
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
Ok, you just gave me a great idea for a video! Weird habits (or characteristics) of the covert narcissist! Porn addiction and no sense of humor are big. They also tend to keep family at arm's length and have at least one person or thing they'll always idealize (e.g. God or a friend). I'm going to dig for some more ideas and film this one after the current series is out. Thanks for the inspiration! ❤🙏
@artgirl7480 4 жыл бұрын
Common Ego The odd thing I discovered about the narc after I married him is that he preferred self sex!! He actually preferred it!! We have a celibate marriage!!! I’m too old to leave & start over!
@CommonEgo 4 жыл бұрын
@@artgirl7480 That's not even weird for a narcissist! It's usually related to porn addiction. In extremes, they can get to the point where they prefer self stimulation. I mentioned this in a roundabout way in the new video that just went live. Would love feedback from you both there! ❤🙏
@1tundra11 4 жыл бұрын
Were we dating the same person! ..lol😄
@dianemachin6213 4 жыл бұрын
@@CommonEgo you should put it out as a question for survivors. I could add a few things to the 'HOW WEIRD WAS YOUR NARCISSIST' debate. *Counting emails and texts then texting to say how many there had been that day. And isnt that amazing! What are we 9 years old? *Over analysing, with Q & A after sex. EVERY TIME. *Contrived moments of emotion but no seemingly genuine times of enjoyment or happiness or excitement...or sadness. I once called him heartless which resulted in his passive aggressive version of narcissistic injury.
@sanandolamente6062 3 жыл бұрын
I'm ending my rage period and now I'm actually feeling sorry for him, like...poor traumatized kid ! Is there any way they actually can heal?
@jonka1 3 жыл бұрын
I would like to compliment you on how well you convey to us your message. You seem to be very grounded and this comes across in how easy it is to hear you. Subscribed.