5 Signs You've Hurt A Narcissist

Рет қаралды 43,518

Күн бұрын

In this video, we explore a perspective that your actions may have a greater impact on a narcissist than it seems, challenging the belief that they walk away unaffected from their harmful behaviors. We present five signs that you may have hurt a narcissist - including their resorting to the silent treatment, projection, showing narcissistic rage, using guilt trips, and initiating smear campaigns. While not advocating for the intentional hurting of others, understanding these signs can help comprehend the narcissist's emotional complexities and the depth of their unhappiness. This video touches on concepts of manipulative behavior, narcissistic rage, disconnection from empathy, and discusses dealing with trauma bonds in the context of abuse.
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** *In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
00:00 Here's Proof You Matter
00:44 Signs You've Hurt a Narcissist: The Silent Treatment
01:15 Understanding the Narcissist's Pain
02:00 The Silent Treatment as a Manipulative Tactic
02:32 Where Does The Silent Treatment Come From?
03:30 Projection: Another Sign You've Hurt a Narcissist
04:50 The Reality of Narcissistic Rage
06:20 Where Does The Rage Come From?
07:14 Guilt Tripping: A Common Narcissistic Tactic
08:03 The Smear Campaign: A Narcissist's Revenge
09:21 Understanding Trauma Bonds
09:59 Conclusion and Next Steps
08:03 The Smear Campaign: A Narcissist's Revenge
09:21 Understanding Trauma Bonds
09:59 Conclusion and Next Steps

Пікірлер: 175

@robinantonio8870 3 ай бұрын

Silent treatment isnt because they are hurt. Its because they are wrong and refuse to admit it.

@Joe-hf3cn 2 ай бұрын

Both

@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын

Amen. Silent treatment isn't a curse, but a blessing.

@onyxbellz Ай бұрын

Being wrong hurts them because it causes them to feel shame and they blame you for that... So they punish you with the silent treatment...

@Joe-hf3cn Ай бұрын

@@onyxbellz they have no shame. On contrary, they double down on their 2 year old selves. I’m holding two police case reports in 3 days. Plus obtaining stay away order/injunction on Monday. I went Friday but the office had 5 other victims to process. Asked me to come back Monday. It’s really pervasive in society with those abusers

@indesign14 5 ай бұрын

No matter how many times you hurt these narcissists, they are not going to change for the better. It is going to be a never ending cycle over and over again till they age out and their supply starts to dwindle away. Then this will drive them to the point of narcissistic collapse.

@dinab7852 5 ай бұрын

One of the best comments I've ever read on this channel. Saved it as a screenshot. Thanks!

@drdauger 5 ай бұрын

Great comment! At what age do they “age out”? Different age for female vs male narcissist?

@NatalieG427 5 ай бұрын

@@drdauger Some of the best answers I’ve read on the aging Narcissist is from HG Tudor & Dr Ramani. As they get older & lose their looks, they realize they can’t manipulate people as easily anymore and have also alienated so many that they are lonely & have no fuel. They then start to Implode. But, they never really take any responsibility for any of it.

@lisabowden402 4 ай бұрын

@@drdaugerwhen they are buried. 😂 truly . My mom has my brother and his family as her flying monkeys , so she will die being adored by them. Not a lot of bed side confessions coming from a narc.

@CTHou13 5 ай бұрын

1. Silent treatment 2. Projection 3. Narcissistic rage 4. Guilt tripping 5. Smear campaign / revenge

@Monipenny1000 5 ай бұрын

And smear campaign. I know that one far too well.

@robinhenry-fussy5240 5 ай бұрын

In my home, the silent treatment is used as a way of punishing you for speaking the truth.

@CTHou13 5 ай бұрын

@@robinhenry-fussy5240- silent treatment is away for them to tell you that not only are they angry with you, but enforcing that you’re not worthy of their attention or thoughts or time. And certainly not any efforts to work it out. It’s a childish, manipulative behavior that has no place in adult relationships. But yet, it’s the go to for the narcissist. You deserve better, you deserve to be heard and valued and loved

@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers 5 ай бұрын

Thanks. I was going to do this.

@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers 5 ай бұрын

@@CTHou13 I highly recommend getting out of these relationships as I did a few months ago. But in the meantime while you’re trying to get out of a relationship (or you can’t) I recommend this. Act like you are mad at _them…_ and don’t want to talk to them. A majority of the time they don’t wanna be around you when you are angry and quiet and will do anything to get rid of the anger and silence. Like admitting they are wrong or at least knocking off the childish silence treatment. This works for bosses as well. I have tried it multiple times! Successfully.

@melissaespinoza4819 28 күн бұрын

My dad like to turn the whole family against me. And doesn’t speak to me. And I just continue with my life , happy and listening to good music.

@jackilynpyzocha662 13 күн бұрын

Dad lies to others about me. I can't be bothered with him!

@001mzee 5 ай бұрын

I actually stopped caring, forgive her for her mental illness and have quickly moved on with my life! I still enjoy your content!

@kp4636 2 ай бұрын

I want to be you! I admire you! I feel like this person is crushing every part of me.

@carolynbennett2735 Ай бұрын

Exactly!! And you feel so much better when you do!!

@brian-d-berentsen Ай бұрын

I sometimes am ashamed that I secretly hope they will meet Karma and face the truth, crumble, and never get back their 'strength'.

@IdleDeity 18 күн бұрын

Yup, simple as that, walking away!

@pushav_mob4573 Күн бұрын

I think i am moving into that stage

@rambultruesdell3412 5 ай бұрын

Beat a smear by saying absolutely nothing.... Take the attack standing.... Six months later the mutual people will know who is what.

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

Yes, that's what I started doing till I was helped to escape these roommates!

@dlocke49 4 ай бұрын

Yes stay quiet. They want to know you are upset. They love that. Screw them with silence.

@dougplahn8507 5 ай бұрын

You can beg and beg to be told what is wrong and they refuse. So if nothing is wrong then I don’t have anything to fix .

@brwnsgrgirl4379 3 ай бұрын

Laughed out in the middle of the night. 😂👏🏽

@ZoltanHercules Ай бұрын

Starve them of attention without getting negative emotions and you will win. If asked about them on friendly terms by others, draw the line and suggest there’s no friendship there, just someone you know of and you don’t really know them that well. It drives them crazy, because they obviously do know you well and will be the first to prove that’s not a lie because that’s the only truth they have. The people who hear this will think “that’s odd, they have loads of things to say and they’re not even friends” Usually this is all done quite frustratedly, the crown slips quite quickly. This is exactly what they don’t want. It’s very toxic, but with regards to them, you have to play their game better than them. Don’t feel bad, they don’t really have feelings.

@GingerPeacenik 2 ай бұрын

One thing they can NEVER do is admit being at fault and apologize for their intentional cruelty. The closest they ever get is "I'm sorry that you've chosen to be upset and unhappy."

@Joe-hf3cn 2 ай бұрын

Or, “ I only wanted you to find your purpose & make a difference,” (deflection) after destroying your character(gaslighting) in the process Yet I’ll always love her despite me blocking all contact. She helped save me from addiction over 30 years ago.

@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын

I've heard " I'm sorry you feel I hurt you ". Bullshit apology.

@Joe-hf3cn 2 ай бұрын

@@clintonnagy1662 not an apology. Gross

@carolynbennett2735 Ай бұрын

Yes!! They hate admitting they are wrong!!

@SweetAzSugar111 5 ай бұрын

You will see this most if your situation ends up in a civil lawsuit dispute 😢 And a judge fails to take notice of the signs of a narcissist…

@loriann.Jesusloveu3434 5 ай бұрын

Or they don't care because they are crooked even more so than they have ever been and they like to take the bad guys side. Super sad. Pray next time. God bless u

@ashgirl9 5 ай бұрын

Dealt with this on and off for many years. Glad to be done with him and the games.

@vickibazter3446 5 ай бұрын

Games!!!

@ashgirl9 4 ай бұрын

@@vickibazter3446 Yes, the mind games

@dlocke49 4 ай бұрын

Congrats. Be happy now

@user-xd9su6rt4g 3 ай бұрын

you will always be weak and insignificant lmfao

@stardustnebula8692 Ай бұрын

Glad to hear it. This makes a lot of sense actually. I constantly experience this. Had another meeting with my narc mother's rage the other day where she screamed at me that she wished i "had another mental breakdown and unalived myself" and that she "hopes every day i walk under a bus" I'm glad she's hurt. At least i can take comfort in that.

@writer1986 5 ай бұрын

When I used to teach, I got the silent treatment from a several colleagues. It took some time for me to realize they were "hurt" by the fact that I was living the life they felt should have been theirs (I was single and living on my own, in comparison to them.) Narcissists get hurt by the smallest things, and they can't tell you because they lack self-awareness. But once you figure them out, just stay away because they will do whatever they can to sabotage you. Hence I left teaching. I was done with the drama.

@clintonnagy1662 Ай бұрын

OMG. So true. My ex is a highschool teacher for 25 years. She creates alot of drama with other married coworkers. She is a single MOM, and gets jealous when other teachers have social affairs because she wants that attention.She has been around teenagers so long that she adopted poor behaviors. She is 46 with an 8 year old. It was alot to deal with and I had to leave because it was getting too toxic and changing my behavior. I hate myself for my reactions. I lost who I am.

@ladyvirgo9514 5 ай бұрын

I got the silent treatment when my husband was preparing to blindside me and leave to move in with his coworker. At the time, i had no idea what was happening

@steveclarke2585 5 ай бұрын

Im going through this now and i ignore everything!

@SweetAzSugar111 5 ай бұрын

Stay strong! You’re not alone 😅

@dlocke49 4 ай бұрын

Get out asap

@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын

There came a time I found myself repeating " I've done all I could to help her, but it's never enough. Time to focus on myself and walk away. NOT only was I dealing with her behaviors, but her son's behaviors and the influence of her EX. Then her mother started with narcisstic behavior, and I'm NOT fighting a war on all sides. Time to retreat within myself.

@francescuascut1595 5 ай бұрын

my ex was always doing all 5 of these things cuz I could read him like book and he hated that sooooo much ! I absolutely left him in the dust and never looked back even after his desperate attempts of trying to contact me from his friends & fake accounts

@lifetimeactor6789 5 ай бұрын

You wonderfully explained how miserable narcissistic people are, and how much stronger, against becoming triggered they would be if they'd only go and get some help learning how to understand and process their feelings. You think this information would motivate them to get some help, but they won't even admit they are miserable, (unless of course it's all about receiving a supply of sympathy from someone who will believe them as they blame you for all their problems). Pride blinds. They can't hear you. Their automatic thinking is, "you can't possibly see or understand anything I can't already see and understand because I'm better than you. I have to be. It's a rule of the universe!" ...And they are too unthinking and lacking in insight to ever discover for themselves that they need help. I guess this is the high price of being superior to everyone.

@clintonnagy1662 Ай бұрын

"They won't even admit they are miserable unless it means they will recieve sympathy from someone who will listen. " My ex narc would send messages telling me how miserable, and lonely she was and how I didn't care. I would tell her to find a new partner if I made her feel that bad. It was hurtful. Eventually we broke up. I felt I couldn't do enough for her.

@spcmcpants 5 ай бұрын

I am 44 yo. Just a few years ago, I (the scapegoat) got the silent treatment after a parent almost died! My attempt at giving/receiving emotional support with the other parent triggered their narc rage and I was shut out and triangulated against months afterward. Silly me, thinking death would be THE exception to transcend the trauma bond. FFS!! Nope! It tipped the scales for going no-contact last year.

@happyhealthyblessed 4 ай бұрын

My narc sister use to dish out the silent treatment for 45 years till I gave her the permanent silent treatment. She even gave my narc mother the silent treatment and my she passed turning the silent treatment. Then the narc sister acts likes she so hurt because our mother died. But my mother was a narc and so was my sister. I am permanently no contact with her over 10 years now I am at peace.

@timothydekoster4846 4 ай бұрын

I could always tell when I hurt my narcissistic boss when she would start crying crocodile tears. And it occurred when she clearly lost control over the conversation and her tactics didn't work. My response is that when she would start talking, is I wouldn't say anything and just walk away. She really hated that more than anything I could ever say or do.

@dianamoore2241 5 ай бұрын

So many times I apologized for things when I really shouldn't have. My NPD person is now in a Nursing home with a part time sitter. Wonder how thats working out...

@namutebimadinah7229 3 ай бұрын

Work for your self please

@chriskahlson 5 ай бұрын

Highly recommended: informative insights about typical narcissist personality types who are totally void of a “moral compass” unless you have a valid premise for a particular “situationship” your time and efforts will be better spent with absolutely no contact. Also keep in mind if alcohol is involved, which is quite common, it’s serving yet another purpose , so depends on your level and duration of involvement you not only will have an unexpected breakup to contend with when your discarded it may also be compounded with alcohol withdrawal and sex addiction. Notes on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Alcohol Usage Disorder (AUD): NPD and AUD frequently co-exist and can increase the effects of each other. People with a pattern of narcissism often turn to alcohol to reinforce a false sense of grandiosity. People with AUD, also known as alcoholism, can display patterns of narcissism, including self-absorption and an underlying craving for admiration.

@jessewilson451 5 ай бұрын

Put a few things in perspective that I was reading all wrong. Helped me a lot today. Thank you!

@CommonEgo 5 ай бұрын

Glad it helped 🙏❤

@theuncletim920 4 ай бұрын

I cant thank you enough for this channel. You have been coaching me for a year getting out of a personal hell of living with a narcissist. I'm almost out of it and I don't think I could of done it without what I've learned from your videos. I'll repost in a month once I'm 100% free and clear.

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

Yes!

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

Yes, thank you sooo much!

@angieholt736 3 ай бұрын

If you have children, google Tina Swithin. She is a Godsend.

@ReRe_642 2 ай бұрын

Set boundaries and moving on. Best why ignore the foolishness.

@Tiffany_speaks 4 ай бұрын

My younger sister is a narcissist , just recently she just got triggered for me telling her to give the keys back to our mom, she made threats and scream and wanted to fight me. My younger sister needs some psychological help and hopefully she get that help before it’s too late

@billdoherty5332 5 ай бұрын

5 things. You talked about one thing. 5 ways thay play games. I agree. Maybe it's just past time to walk away. Sure did help me to feel better. Have a great day

@cougarjrv9890 5 ай бұрын

I've gone through the first cycle. I'm SO glad to find out I've affected them, because I've been feeling like a speck, powerless. And the projection? OMG!

@brandonwalpole6058 3 ай бұрын

If youre seeing that, this whole thing is gonna end up in no contact. Save yourself the confusion and pain. Get away.

@cougarjrv9890 3 ай бұрын

@brandonwalpole6058 I've cut all contact over a year ago, yet I'm still dealing with the effects of a lifetime of gaslighting and being told in various ways that I'm "less than . . ." Know what I mean? The damage is extensive. CPTSD type of extensive. It still hurts.

@brandonwalpole6058 3 ай бұрын

Unfortunately, I know exactly what you're talking about.

@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers 5 ай бұрын

My now ex narc said this after I called him out on a bunch of lies with evidence. He said (instead of addressing everything I just said), _Well just so you know… you’re not perfect._ I don’t anger easily and I’m not a violent person but I just about punched him in the face. Thankfully I only visualized it. Can anyone else relate?

@Nina-vv3ev 5 ай бұрын

😂 wow… “well just so you know, you’re not perfect. “ it’s so annoying they refuse to take accountability. Oh my God. They behave like terrified children & say you’re crazy… even when it’s obvious what’s happening

@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers 5 ай бұрын

@@Nina-vv3ev Yes! He was mad at me for collecting evidence rather than just coming to him straight away with suspicions. I said - you’re denying things _now…_ WITH evidence. I’m supposed to believe you would’ve admitted to things WITHOUT evidence? Riiiight. He was mad about that rather than dealing with ME being mad that HE was lying. It’s amazing how tricky and sticky they can be if you’re not careful.

@kerirogers6923 5 ай бұрын

Omg can I relate!!! I caught the guy, I was dating, in SO many lies, he told me he was homeless and living in his truck, bouncing from friend to friend, we would meet, and then I would follow him home and he'd pull into his driveway. He lied to me about his daughter dying!!! and I called her, and she's alive, when I confronted him on all of this, which was hard to prove because I couldn't tell him how I knew... I had to do some of the things I did and follow him because I felt like I was going crazy. I knew he wasn't homeless and I knew these things, but I could never tell him how I knew or he would probably hurt me . When I said I knew about his lies he just went into a rage and it was all my fault and "I don't know anything" he said. He also threatened to get me fired from my job and ruin me financially because I didn't know what I was talking about. I'm just starting to try to heal...😢

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

I relate 100%,!

@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers 4 ай бұрын

@@kerirogers6923 This channel and Dr. Ramani really helped me heal. Definitely go no contact. It’s super hard but speeds up the healing process. No bday or holiday texts.

@peachesmcgee4795 Ай бұрын

Narc sister is currently giving me the silent treatment for something she did wrong! Unbelievable.

@TT-yn7qi 4 ай бұрын

Christina,I want to thank you so much for this video. It is gold and it helps me understand my narcissist husband's behaviour. Everything you described is what he's been doing for year's and will never change. He gives me the silent treatment for months on end and so much rage.

@dinab7852 3 ай бұрын

I'm exhausted and at the end of my rope with my narcissistic ex-husband's gaslighting, extremely volatile personality and bouts of anger/rage that come out of nowhere every 48-72 hours. Each time he NEEDS something from me or my help, he acts so nice and polite and as soon as he gets what he wants, his personality switches 180 to an angry raging jerk. Every time I'm losing it, I come to this channel and watch and rewatch your videos for 1-2 hours. Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏

@DaddyMackJLocklear 3 ай бұрын

This is spot on... Getting out of four year relationship, with female narcissist . Never had any idea about any of this,until I started asking Google questions.... Omg i have been through so much. Run! Run!!! Run...if you're in a relationship with one...

@pamagujar183 5 ай бұрын

That's for your insight! It helps us understand what goes in with them.

@landsonkinson7563 5 ай бұрын

I just discovered your channel in the recovery. I've watched several of your videos tonight. Andy's videos have done more healing for me than I'll be able to do for myself in the past year.

@dragonflymagictarot1180 22 күн бұрын

We were arguing about a kitten that he kept wanting to act like a dog. We had already tried several things with this introverted kitten and it just annoyed me that he just wouldn’t let the cat be a cat. And then he said we were not arguing about the cat and that we didn’t have a future anymore because I was too logical, too smart and too professional. That the solutions I brought up were not even taken into account and if they were acknowledged- he still didn’t care to make a decision. So I did… Mind you - the same week he had told me he wanted to live with me and the same day he was complaining because he had not seen me in a week and missed me oh so much, but within that day and the next, I was no longer the love of his life.

@terjepedersen4080 4 ай бұрын

I have also experienced minimizing your reliability and competence, constant hostility towards you and critical attitude to whatever you do or don't do as sign of having hurt a narc

@Bgggg111 4 ай бұрын

I was in a toxic relationship with a female covert narc, I had my own child hood issues I was always generally happy and consistent, but I didn't know why I was having anxiety, I'd come home and no matter what I did, it never seemed good enough, I'd come home to this week's then, I'd have enough I'd snap we'd have a bit of a row, I didn't know what this was but I'd not like to argue until we'd cool off but she'd chase me in to the bed room and I wouldn't be nasty to her per say, I'd tell her she's always so bloody miserable and always unhappy or always moaning a me about somethings that are silly little things, all I wanted was to come home and not talked to like crap she would leave room sta slamming doors and cupboards, thswas my first experience of narssasistic rage, when I would leave because I wasn't coping she would go completely crazy, I didn't know but that was a big rejection and injury to her, she'd hoover me back with sex then a promise to change and i did love her, I wasn't leaving I just wasn't putting up with it then she'd guilt me, anyway she cheated on me with an old man that was unhappily married I believe he also a narc, he's 60 she's 38, apparently I never knew how to understand her or could understand her, I did in the beginning but now she had changed, all her unhappiness is my fault, I said I never said one untrue thing to you I never lied ever to her, which turns out again the truth hurts I don't sugar coat thing I just say it as it is probably not a good trait to have but I'm not about bullshit, so she told me the truth hurt her, when the truth she be making you see and learn from it, still gaslights lies, I told her I know what she is now I still love her or rather who I thought she was called me a liar said I was delusional for explaining to her what she is mentally but if she knows it she won't say or even admit it, just telling them the truth mirror's back to them that's what hurt her, I hope she finds some happiness, but I know in my own mind I did the best I could and stayed way longer than I should of because I loved her, but she never loved me, just wasted those years living a lie sacrificed my happiness for her and her kids now I'm left with nothing, can't even see the kids no more, that's the hardest part is I have had to go no contact with them too, I acted crazy and irrationally in the end I was broken, never behaved like how I did in the end in my life, trauma bond and what I understand you take on some of yhere traits from the abuse and what has become the norm

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

I am finally away from them, and havung 🙋🏻‍♀️nightmares still fron my CPTSD. Thank you so much for your channel It helps me validate my feelings.

@CommonEgo 4 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear that. I hope you have a good support system now 🙏❤

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

@@CommonEgo I do, thank goodness. Thanks

@uerondu 5 ай бұрын

New sub here 👋🏾 Love all your content! Maybe I overlooked it or I haven’t gotten to it yet, but can you do a video regarding narcissistic friendships?

@thewanderwoman3930 16 күн бұрын

They are so unforgiving and it doesnt matter how many times i said sorry he wouldnt accept it. He would never apologise or take responsibility for any of his behaviour. Everything was my fault, there was something wrong with me, and he did not care about my boundaries. If we argued, it took him a week to be fully right with me but would never let me forget about things id said or done.

@spro0077 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much❤

@LeeEverett1 19 күн бұрын

Something that was eye opening for me that I didn't notice until after the relationship ended was that she ALWAYS went silent if she was ever in the wrong. It could be something simple like a random fact or something she got mixed up, anytime I corrected her or proved her wrong, she just got mad and completely quiet rather than saying "okay fine you're right". I thought it was just her being stubborn and didn't realize it was a narcissistic trait.

@drummergirl14216 5 ай бұрын

My girlfriend of 3.5 yrs has been giving me the silent treatment for almost 2 months. Yesterday she finally talked to me and was acting like nothing happened. I stopped her and tried to tell her it really hurt me and messed with my trust and she got defensive/upset. I'm getting the silent treatment again. This has helped me understand she's hurting and not just selfish.

@carinleseurestock2773 5 ай бұрын

She is ALSO hurting you… and that’s not ok. AND… if she is unwilling to do a deeper dive with you into what is going on that she would respond with such an extreme and hurtful action, then she ma be dealing with more than just selfishness….. dude this is a RED FLAG…. Do yourself a favor and deal with it sooner than later. Best wishes!!!

@andrewrees8749 5 ай бұрын

She will always do it , just walk away, 10 yrs I've put up with it, I know it's hard to deal with !

@drummergirl14216 5 ай бұрын

@@andrewrees8749 wow 10 yrs is so long! You must be an emotional wreck. I know I've changed, I don't do confrontation anymore and lost my backbone walking on egg shells. Then you have the sad/depressed, angry/hurt, and then you start to become ok and heal and say I'm moving on and they always pop back in and hoover you up again.

@robinantonio8870 3 ай бұрын

Nope, after 60 yrs of silent treatments, it's because they know they are wrong . Just leave now

@mimigrabner4486 4 ай бұрын

🖐️ Thank You for your KZfaq Channel.

@uerondu 5 ай бұрын

New sub here 👋🏾 Love all your content! Maybe I overlooked it I haven’t gotten to it yet, but can you do a video regarding narcissistic friendship?

@mrdawks8932 5 ай бұрын

Absolutely love your content dear!! 💙💙💜

@CommonEgo 5 ай бұрын

Thank you! 🙏❤

@d3.finance 3 ай бұрын

Another winner video

@Joe-hf3cn 2 ай бұрын

I knew I would be hurting them at their core level for standing my ground(I’m no pushover). Their wounds become transparent through those reactions - as you describe accurately -when I call them out for denigrating me, gaslighting, silent treatment & even suggesting I’m not mentally well(after long period of silent treatment, the nerve) Yes, extremely trauma bonded over 30 years & doing the healing work

@TheNYSportsDude 4 ай бұрын

Your content is great.. if I may, as a public speaker I have a small suggestion. You speak celery, but the points you make are often made quickly. It’s my personal and professional opinion that either a visual aid or a little extra pausing, with some slightly indulge extra explanatory example would go a long way in your already stupendous and informative content. With all the love and respect! Keep it up!

@dlwilliamson5644 5 ай бұрын

He is reaching out to me after 6 months on WhatsApp. In these "thinking of you" , "hugging you in my thoughts" without a single syllable addressing his behavior (he gets so angry that he breaks up and leaves me stranded/locked out etc). I have not forgotten all that he has done and I am still in a place of peace without him in my life. Thoughts? Advice?

@kendradamm1428 5 ай бұрын

Stay the course….no contact. You’ll be much further ahead than if you take him back. Because then the cycle will start all over again and he will leave you stranded again….only this will be years later (or in my case, decades). Don’t waste another year of your life. He can’t change. Good luck to you!! Stay strong. 🥰

@ShogunateDaimyo 5 ай бұрын

He's breadcrumbing you to see if/ how hard they need to work to get back in your life. Chances are they're trash love is not worth your peace of mind. move on and love yourself!! Life's short. Go have fun. You don't need a partner to do that!!

@dlwilliamson5644 5 ай бұрын

@@ShogunateDaimyo Hug you from afar! Thank you SO much for responding. Your description of his "bread-crumbing" is spot on and describes his MO accurately. I still have him muted. A piece of mail came offering up why he was texting through WhatsApp. He is in Europe on the trip that we planned forever ago. He had no idea that I cashed my ticket in for an e-credit. And probably showed up to take the trip magically thinking that I would still be heading there. Oy! I am ever grateful for your response and for the peace I have without him in my life. Thank you again for your positive energy!

@kerirogers6923 5 ай бұрын

I'm experiencing all this right now trying to heal and move forward. I feel Soooo stupid that I still miss him he pushed me in a rage left me stranded threaten my livelihood etc.... Ohh the lies!!! Then would sweet talk me . I hope I feel power and close the door and put him out of my mind soon, it's been the hardest thing ever!!

@dlwilliamson5644 5 ай бұрын

@@kerirogers6923 I send myself 5 daily reminders of the things he did just so I won't fall for the sweet talk. Actually, it helps.

@karennarron9173 4 ай бұрын

Oh yes they'll call you crazy B if you tell them you see thru them. They'll try to turn things around on you. I said stop. He blocked me. What a relief.

@brandonwalpole6058 3 ай бұрын

If you block them before they block you, your character will be assassinated everywhere and you will be punished. Hopefully they don't have any dirt on you.

@annesom5648 4 ай бұрын

100% correct

@emerygiftgimenaodulio7681 Ай бұрын

I do ignoring Silent Treatment and no reactions and uts effective its time for me to be happy ty sis

@kellychuba 3 ай бұрын

If you get the silent treatment and you tell them to stop and they don't: leave

@Casseycade 3 ай бұрын

I told my boyfriend that he needs to eat more vegetables and drink water, told me Im using food to control him, and called me a narcissist!

@allafilipenya7432 4 ай бұрын

My very wise dad, told me over and over again…. If you want to know person’s “inside-outside” just pick a light fight, and listen very closely, how he/she reacted, what he/she said and how it been said.

@missnia1001 3 ай бұрын

Terrible advice.

@lucian5646 4 ай бұрын

I doubt she believes deep down I am but in the end she claimed to all her friends I’m a narcissist. I gave the silent treatment but because I noticed and faced her narcisisstic abuse in the beggining of the relationship. She had me convinced I had something wrong with me but only thing wrong was Me falling for her gaslighting and blame shifting.

@lindavincent678 2 ай бұрын

My hand is up

@stevesukegawa6332 5 күн бұрын

lol i have to say nthis ....i am going thru what you are saying as i watch the video you are definately on point thankyou for the knowledge and help

@terrihawkins5367 2 ай бұрын

My ex used to tell me that he was unhappy [in the relationship] for a while. I thought it was me who was making him unhappy.

@sophies_poppin 3 ай бұрын

I’m currently dealing with the silent treatment rn.

@francineisernia5988 2 ай бұрын

Consider yourself lucky, enjoy the silence

@kristahunter1588 4 ай бұрын

It's patterns in narcissists.

@artdenattic1 10 күн бұрын

My kids guilt trip for supply and guilty shaming of no patent is pregect

@heatherhaack6844 3 ай бұрын

I refused to pursue his landlord to accept late rent while he was out of town for work. He decided to get evicted and move without letting me know where he went. I blocked him, no contact when he asked for me to leave his mail I had picked up and my key inside( locks had been changed) I blocked him, knowing he would blame me somehow. My ex husband was also a narc.

@lupaswolfshead9971 3 ай бұрын

ok the first one creates a mobius loop because the silent treatment/cut off contact is how to counter a narc yet it can be made to portray you as the narc. how do you counter that?

@harleymikaelson4387 2 ай бұрын

What about avoiding and not coming home leaving me alone for hours or days?

@LT-ht5xp 3 ай бұрын

I'm going through this for the past 10 years, I used to think that was my fault. However, I have started to realise that that's not possible. I'm exhausted and frustrated. But I'm concerned about leaving my children alone with a narcissist mother, there's a lot of conflict between them also. Is there any recommendations how to handle this issue? Thanks

@nerovox3875 5 ай бұрын

Peace is a lie. There is only Passion. Through Passion, I gain Strength. Through Strength, I gain Power. Through Power, I gain Victory. Through Victory my chains are Broken. The Force shall free me.-Sith-😂 I am wrath. After 12 long years of misery I cannot do anything but become a dark empath and literally break that person down. Also raised by Narcissistic father so the feelings are deep. I will no longer carry others burdens and let stuff go.

@alealae1686 Ай бұрын

I treated the narc, just as he treated me.. reverse psychology.. But I decided to leave his sorry, miserable ass alone. He's texted, but I said that there wasn't anyone with my name at my number... We have to take control of our lives...

@R2Bl3nd 5 ай бұрын

Asking partner with hearing loss to turn down the volume on their phone in a common space in the house, since they can be unaware of it being too loud: "Hey, would you mind turning that down a couple notches? It's just a little loud for me right now." *Partner grabs phone aggressively and storms out of room* "Whoa, I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to upset you. What is your preferred way for me to ask you to turn things down?" "I'm not upset! You're always too sensitive to noise! You're always telling me to turn stuff down! Maybe you need to be wearing some ear plugs. I can listen to stuff at the volume I want, I'm hard of hearing" "Would you mind using The headphones I got you for Christmas that you like?" "I can use this when I want to, I don't have to work around all your sensitivities"

@R2Bl3nd 5 ай бұрын

@@user-qx3uu7sq2r they don't try any of the solutions they have been given as gifts or otherwise, and they often don't need the volume to be turned up that high but they just don't realize it's that loud. The issue is not with them needing the volume to be high, it's with the disrespectful reactions, no matter how the situation is approached, and the lack of willingness to put in any effort to change anything even though we have agreed on several different potential solutions in the past. They get extremely defensive no matter what and get mad at me and make it seem like I'm a bad guy even if I bring them their headphones or something like that and ask if they will do that just for now if that's where they want to be and what they want to listen to. It's hard to convey through text, maybe, what I was focusing on the real issue being.

@rexxer2792 2 ай бұрын

Not telling you why or what is wrong is a power play and their chance to see you in emotional distress for their pleasure as you jump through hoops... It is also in my case her inability to admit to cheating and her being angry that she was getting away with it... Our work shifts did not match .I was on 1st 2nd and 3rd at any given time while she worked a as needed job. She worked less hrs as I worked 40 at least. She had the time to not be caught and a excuse of random hrs yet was angry at me for not noticing ... She wanted to be caught and get away with it at the same time...

@guntertorfs6486 5 ай бұрын

Looking good. You seem to get younger and younger. Or is that just the lighting ? ( just kidding...but only about the lighting )

@ravikumar17_18 3 ай бұрын

Gives me nightmares when I think about those Narcissists family.. I moved away from them😂😂😂

@hcmangs3634 4 ай бұрын

I’m sorry, but I’m unhappy deep down & sad because of how my covert narc & parents treat me, so no, I don’t have empathy for my brother who is textbook covert toward me & my spouse & child, and is so nasty, throws a tantrum or cruel passive aggressive & my parents enable him & want to just ‘shove it under the rug’ & expect me to act like he never behaved the way he did toward me & my family & they put on me to ‘move on’. I accepted his fake apology that he then went back-on & have been very nice & respectful when we have spoken, but he constantly does textbook narc actions, uses my parents to triangulate. I’m sad as I’ve tried to grieve the relationship I thought I had w him and my parents . I’ve made a big effort to continue a relationship w my parents, they constantly trigger me about my brother & how they enable & I work on being calm & trying not to respond, but right now I’m sad underneath. So no, I don’t care if my nasty hurtful disrespectful brother is sad underneath, we grew up together and there is no excuse of him behaving this way toward me & my family

@alecstuart5266 3 ай бұрын

What about the injury these narc psychos caused to the parents, the families of the victims they killed? (All unarmed innocent civilians. surya kiran is one of them) . How should the victims act or react to their injuries.?

@user-de3gv8us5j 2 ай бұрын

mine is up

@user-de3gv8us5j 2 ай бұрын

and I have to wear his pain ???

@angelaharris1112 4 ай бұрын

How long does it take to recover once youve escaped the Narcissist?

@CommonEgo 4 ай бұрын

It really depends on so many factors (including the relationship itself, its impact on you and how driven you are to do the work on getting back to you). I know that's not the answer you were looking for, but I hope it helps some 🙏❤

@geog2031 4 ай бұрын

So, If you hurt an narcissist, do they trauma bond on you??? Cause it sounds scary

@klara2548 3 ай бұрын

I wonder if there is something like spectrum rather than saying that 1 out of 6 people will be a narcissist. It seems that narrcisists are truly everywhere or at least almost everyone engage to a degree in this game. When you call out on it the rest switches to silence. Typically nobody will support the truth and they will leave you standing alone. Is there really such a thing as fleshed out narcissist vs normally wired person? Looking at society, cultural norms, family involvements and almost everyone seeking attention I doubt that majority is ok. It's harder to find normal human beings to stick around than crushing into bunch of narcissists everywhere. Everyone on social media is engaging to a degree in this behaviour. Everyone who's seeking attention is acting like narcissist to me. You don't have to be narcissistic thug to be narcissist either. Majority is ruthless in passive aggressive way towards their closest circle and anyone willing to be vulnerable in front of them while being scared to do anything against more known prominent bullies. Maybe it's pessimistic view but majority of people is inhumane by default.

@karynhuang9957 3 ай бұрын

I agree with ur sociology analysis!

@TonyWest-dx7nv 2 ай бұрын

If the Narc ghost men he /she is somewhere love booming fake love

@LethoHali 5 ай бұрын

🙋🏽‍♀️

@suak0903 5 ай бұрын

🖐🏻🖐🏻🖐🏻

@Levon_James5150 5 ай бұрын

✌🏽🔥❤️🔥🙏🏽

@dhanamjayas 5 ай бұрын

I take on my narcissistic wife through you tube comments!

@cyndeeknouse8094 3 ай бұрын

2 KITTY'S

@nicholecornes1915 4 ай бұрын

Its not hard to hurt a narcissist 😂

@bobvillanueva712 5 ай бұрын

Sorry, but I'm new to your channel...ah? what's that moving behind your curtain, yea?.............................Oh by the way I like your video, yea?......................

@imbukwa 5 ай бұрын

Maybe the window is opened 🤷

@CommonEgo 5 ай бұрын

It’s my cat 🐈

@flyfree00 3 ай бұрын

Its her cat! ❤

@christianajones3312 3 ай бұрын

You can never" get to" or "matter "to a narcissist! You cannot "hurt" a narcissist.I could not finish this lecture. To me, this is incorrect information.