Same here.

I understand What helped me was God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit He reminded me of who I was before I met that person and to return back to Him and He will heal all the pain If we Keep our eyes on Jesus, you can heal and grow and leave everything in His hands🕊️🤍

Same 🙋🏼‍♀️

I get it .

I get it too. 😢

💩

My mother separated from, who she claimed was my father, when my brother was a few months old and i was in utero. They parted ways and never reunited. When i was a40 + adult, my supposed father was found by my brother who went to live with him and meet his half brothers, etc. The man that was on my birth certificate as my father, denied implicitly that he wasNOT MY FATHER. When i was 15 and had gone with my step dad, for the day, my mother moved out of our house totally taking everything to move in with her new man friend, EXCEPT my bedroom was just as i had left it that morning. I used to joke that she moved out and didnt leave a forwarding address.i have been married and divorced 3 times and am now so alone, totally alone, except for my daughter, l THINK she loves me. I so much appreciate your Fri night talks, i am self diagnosed and getting self-help. Thank you for talking on a level and in a way that i can follow and understand what you are saying.

I had my first child at 16 yrs old. My mother had left my brother and I who is 17 months older than i am, alone every weekend, my brother was married very quickly also. I have been following you for several months now and because of a health issue, went to stay at my brothers home for a few days . I now realize that HE IS ALSO SUFFERING FROM COMPLEX TRAUMA, ABANDONMENT ISSUES. I had never considered him having any problem with anything, he is so seemingly all together. But now i can recognize the difference in an all-together and a mentally healthy person.

@@carolkampe118Keep doing the hard work to get healthy. There is freedom there. ❤️

Love it!! Yes God is who we all need first then we can connect with others who feel complete security within God too.

😭 I'm so sorry, my heart breaks for you sweetheart. Sending you hugs and love. 🥰❤️💞

Yes, "freeze" response. I can't leave the house or use the phone.

Your experience is so excruciating, I am so sorry 💔😭😰. It's a very vulnerable way to go about life. I hope you find your own inner self to be your best friend and experience contentment.

I feel you on this. It's excruciating. But it is also true that the way they treat you has to do with them, not with you. Fitting in with people who are not loving and caring is not worthwhile, whether they are blood relations or not. It is hard to learn to love yourself when you grow up around people like this, and it takes effort, but we can learn.

❤it’s very hard when we need, desire and expect normal caring connections with our biological family. Many times they either can’t or won’t show up for us - it doesn’t matter which one is the true reason they don’t treat us well - it hurts all the same. It took a long time for me to realize my family would never support or care for me in any reliable way. Grief 😢is unavoidable. Hope you find comfort and support with chosen people. A therapist helped me through this painful experience.

@@rubberbiscuit99 I am so sorry you went through this ❤

Sounds like someone in your family is making up lies about you. Go visit everyone in oerson!! What could go right? Ĵust do it ❤

I’ve read the other comments and replies to this. I don’t think it sounds like people are making up stories about you but who knows? It could be the case. I’m sure that’s the case in my situation. People are always gonna slander and make up their own truths, we all have a version of our own videotape that we playing in our head if you really wanna see them and you’re not scared of re-abandonment again And how that plays in your head be courageous and go one thing I’ve learned is when I reached out to my dad after six years of no Contact I visited him on his birthday with a pomegranate (many seeds). I’ve moved back to the area and he’s not interested whatsoever. It hurts me a lot more now. I’m closer when I lived 50 miles away, didn’t bother me, but I’m on the doorstep. I had expectations. (Note to Self -have none) The only thing I can be is responsible for me and my actions my love externally and internally I often say to myself you would never let a boyfriend treat you that way so why let your father? Similarly with other family members, I learnt what they were all about when my mother passed away I cut them off. I have absolutely no regrets talking out their Christian Next pretending to be good people when deep down unfortunately these guys weren’t. . Were a work in progress - keep growing keep Learning keep loving keep laughing and cry when you need to hold your face in your hands and look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself deeply that you love yourself and you are worthy. I understand why I’m quite academically driven. I’m not an academic but I’m constantly doing continued professional development to help support my independence and run my business and I just wish I’d had cheerleaders behind me. I could’ve done so much better than what I am doing but then I remember oh yeah, I’m doing really well considering what I came from . Keep that voice in your head positive keep doing the work you’re doing better than what you think big love big squeeze ❤❤❤❤

I'm still living that nightmare at 75. Still waiting for a miracle but finally trying to appreciate & love myself. I hate remembering my past & still wondering why people walk away, convinced something is wrong with me.

😊​@@katzygolf

As soon as we bought a place together his mask was dropped & he began to abandon me… I only knew then it was a toxic situation due to his arrested development & family dysfunction but five years later I get all this stuff finally! As hard as it is physically as well as emotionally being on my own now @ 66 ❤️‍🩹 it’s still better than what I went through with him here. I kept the property & went totally gray rock till he disappeared because I wasn’t giving another inch. Putting my needs as well as the cats 🐈 🐈‍⬛ first & never giving a man the time of day

​​@@katzygolfI so understand I'm 54 am doing some counseling and Adult Child of dysfunctional families a.k.a, ACA( Adult Children of Alcoholics) which focuses on inner child work. Try to find one in you area 🤗

Fantastic video, you have described me to a T. You are amazing to know this and to share it. ❤

Same

Very good point. I would love a talk about this aspect of abandonment.

21:37 he mentions it at the bottom no? Or am I not understanding your comment?

The typical Western woman that is. They live of their ego and one-night stands.

Stop talking about me Sarah😂

Yes please, would be very helpful!

And stomachs

I wholeheartedly agree. This man is a Godsend. 🙏🏻❤

And hearts 💕

I’m in the same position, it’s absolutely crazy making

You’re abandoning yourself by allowing it 🌻 Never leave her..

OMG! I stayed in a relationship like this because I told myself that I would never run away from another relationship. I tolerated so much. From lying, disrespect, cheating, and manipulation. I was beyond stressed in the relationship. I loss an excessive amount of weight I was unrecognizable. People thought I was sick. Smh. But once I truly had enough and understood that I was deserving of so much more, I left. That was THE BEST decision ever. It took me some time to process the lessons and honestly I’m still healing from it. I prayed so much and asked for signs and the strength to handle the truth, but more importantly I asked for peace and comfort after cutting ties with him. Not easy, but certainly not impossible. Sometimes we hold on to people longer than their intended season in our lives. Abandonment is an awful feeling but so is staying in a relationship that slowly (or quickly) chips away at your soul to the point where you don’t know who you are anymore. 😢

Sending you so much love and compassion ❤️

Thank you Tim. Always clear very helpful knowledge you share with us. Bless you and your indepth work!❤

For many of us...

Listen to his videos on codependency recovery. It's related

Same, now what....I think we should all get a house together and support each other.

Yes. For example narcissists have fear of abandonment and don't want to invest because they know that people are unpredictable ( mirroring).Dismissive. Their partners ( codependent) are also avoidant and have abandonment issues but are fearful.

@@alice-hp7dh That means I’m avoidant? Interesting. I haven’t had the chance to test that theory with a man… and I won’t have the opportunity because I’m so old (70), but I do have great lady friends of long-duration… and I make friends easily, and some of them become close friends as well. I will ponder this.

@@DeborahJoshua24 did you wanted a relationship with a man and didn't happened or you didn't wanted from the early age?

@@alice-hp7dh I always had boyfriends up until I married in 1981.

@@DeborahJoshua24 so you can value if you are avoidant in intimate relationships 💪

That sounds like the tremor response that animals use to release stress, deceived by Dr Peter Levine.

Your trapped emotions live within the nervous system. Mind-body connection has been overlooked in culture, and were seen as separate until now, realizing that the body remembers the trauma. Check out the book "the body keeps the score", it describes a lot of the physical manifestations of trauma.

😢

i can relate my last therapist she suggested we go out for a drink, then when i said no and in fact shes crossing the line " she denied even saying it. gaslight 101. this after a year with her. in which she mainly ranted about herself. the lesson i learnt was, dont be afraid to walk away from any toxic situation. i dont think your life is garbage. like mine but it is hard being around these people because they see us coming. its them not you. or me. but yeah its fucking hard

@@james82408oh yeah lol the therapist that uses us for their own trauma dump. It happened to me twice, one lady going through a divorce and the other one who was missing her own mom who croaked in her 90s of cancer. Like I wouldn’t have minded if I wasn’t expected to pay for the privilege of sitting there listening to their issues. And the second lady believed no parenting relationship was beyond hope. Some people shouldn’t be therapists. She had one of those super expensive mud mugs, the kind that looks like it was dipped in toxic sludge for paint, made by some local ‘artisan’ with a college degree in mud, and her clients had to drink out of tiny styrofoam cups. Such an entitled b*tch. Constantly going to those farty award ceremonies that local community ‘leaders’ throw for themselves, taking vacations and coming back looking like a tanned piece of jerky wearing a hundred noisy bead bracelets acting like a retreat was life changing that was probably about something cringey and tantric. I started to kind of despise that lady after she forgot me every session, and went over the same backstory every time. Then charged me full price when my insurance didn’t cover faith based therapy. Completely useless waste of space in the community imo. Their offices felt like a funeral home and the lady got triggered by any trauma story I told her 🤣 useless.

I understand what you described.

I’ve been in NICU when my LO was there for a week, and the preemies were touched and loved by dozens of nurses 🤍 they even have heated little mom-hand shaped glove things that wrap them up in a warm touch. It was quiet and calm and dark, probably better than any traumatic birth canal experience of a full term baby, or having a mom stress about the pains and stress of those last months/weeks of carrying making their life almost unbearable with little sleep and constant pain. Hope that makes you feel better :) NICU babies are the lucky ones.

@@treesoul00 This response is so out of touch with the comment and lacks empathy on so many levels that I really want to do bad things to the person who wrote this. (No, back in the day, preemies were treated horribly. I am one myself, and I cried and cried and cried at the sight of a person with a white jacket until she - my grandma in that case - took her white jacket off. To this day, my parents do not know what happened to me in the hospital. Believe me, no nurse can ever replace the loving bond and touch of a caring mother who you literally had already gotten to know "from the inside out" for a few months and were looking forward to finally meeting "on the other side".) It's great to hear, however, that preemies are being treated with more care these days.

​@@misspeach3755​ I guess it still affects you. I'm sorry for your pain. It seems the earlier the injury without healing, especially if unacknowledged, the harder to heal later on. Not knowing what happened makes it impossible to pin down.

It all feels so overwhelming.

There is hope 🙏 Don't give up, there are many in this situation and are here for you, that is why we are here watching the same video because we have gone through this and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, Jesus Christ has been there for me through it all even when I rejected Him, He is my hope now and has healed me in so many ways 🙏 I pray you both are healed and can feel the restoration from this cptsd we've encountered in our lives.

Ikr. What’s that magic level of being non-threatening but still fun, I’ve tried being the comforting blob and tried being the funny edgy person. It’s really dependent on the group. So much easier to just hang out with guys. Bring guys some homemade donuts and a listening ear and they don’t care what you look like, plus they’re rarely threatened by what you can do it’s like being a little sibling tagging along. Besides guys’ hobbies are way more interesting. The moms group I was in talked about things like overpriced strollers and diaper bags and reality tv & I was like just off me now. Some weird lady with green hair and a huge mess of a life, the kind that posted photos of herself eating sushi while preggo and had holiday photos featuring the second amendment, was the group’s pet train wreck and they constantly gave her speaking and leadership roles just to enjoy ripping her apart behind her back. It was disgusting. I made a few normal friends but we were so far apart that the group was the easiest way to spend time together, and it got to be too much. I’d get invited to parties just to be a filler and a gift giver and it was never reciprocated. Most groups are takers. Even the good works became a stupid competition. They picked a local disadvantaged family (a demographic that was opposite of the group of course) and bought designer crap, instead of things that family could have used like grocery store gift cards and maybe passes to entertainment in the area, like a year’s family pass to the Y or something.

The cycle continues.... Subconsciously selecting a job where you are entering the environment you're trying to escape.