_"...so much of growing up is just learning how to be ok with disappointing people"_ Thank you, Dan. Truly. I needed to hear it.

It's interesting to hear Brandon talk more about the wired article. Its admirable he didn't wanna dwell on it when it happened as to not create a wave of hate from the fan base, but I can't imagine how much that would suck to get taken advantage of like that.

Didn't know coming into this I was going to cry but that last section about parenting was powerful. Brandon talking about the pain of not being able to truly comfort his child, then Dan coming in with the "you do what you can do, and I'll carry you the rest of the way," those hit me. I'm not a parent, though I want to be one day, and I'm really glad for the Wells and Sanderson kids that they have dads that have healthy pictures of what being a parent is. Been following this podcast since ep. 1 and it's only gotten better. Thank you, gentleman.

Dan this is as much your show as it is Brandon's

"If someone [betrays] you, it's not your fault for being trusting. Being trusting is a virtue, and they're taking advantage of that." I really needed to hear that. Thank you. (I just wish I'd heard it ten years sooner.)

This episode reminded me about how upset I am about the wired article

I'm now caught up on Intentionally Blank. A few months ago I never would've thought a couple of Mormon guys chatting about random stuff would be one of my favorite things on the internet. To me it shows the power of positivity without being a shill, and sharing thought processes rather than reactions (though I am middle aged myself so that probably plays a part).

I’m sending a thank you box for Dan because I am grateful as someone with their own mental health struggles for someone like Dan to be open and honest what that journey is like. To be honest it is inspiring to see it

I lost my job today so this topic is particularly relevant. Thanks for the encouragement.

This is flat out one of the best podcasts they’ve done yet. And there’s a pretty high bar since each week is pretty awesome. Thanks to Brandon and Dan for this. And unpaid not-intern Donald.

I shared this podcast to one of my friends that likes podcasts but has nothing to do with the Brando fando . He loved the podcast so much he started reading the cosmere. This podcast is legit so entertaining it’ll make someone a cosmere fan by sheer charisma.

Dan helping his kid with homework is basically "I can't carry you, but I CAN VCARRY YOUR HOMEWORK" LOL

I mean this in the nicest way possible, and speak with a heart full of love and respect for Brandon and Dan - Thinking everyone hates wedding receptions is the most Mormon thing I have ever heard someone say 🤣

The secret to saying No is the concept of Opportunity Cost. Like Brandon illustrated with his book writing, ANYTHING you say Yes to is effectively saying No to EVERYTHING else. When you understand this, you move the focus from No to Yes. Instead of saying No to Europe, you're saying Yes to becoming an incredible fantasy writer =)

"We have this sense that if I were more religious I'd just want to! I don't want to... Is it a moral failing that I had to build a structure to make myself do this? No!" Thank you. I needed to hear this, both in the religious context and without it.

Had the most disappointing and demoralizing couple of months of my life recently, centered around me failing terribly in every single thing important to me due to my declining mental health, so this episode felt like a really big comforting hug. Thank you, Brandon and Dan

Now we know the true origins of Alcatraz and the EVIL LIBRARIANS. 😂😂😂

As someone who is working in Sauron's call center, can definitely confirm the soul is crushed and the headspace for any creativity after work hours is pretty much nonexistent.

Honestly one of the best episodes of the podcast, answers had good advise from years of personal experience.

I didn't show up to my own wedding reception. My wife and I eloped to Vegas. We told people that we did not want any wedding reception or party of any sort. When we got home, we were instructed that we were to attend a surprise wedding reception for us, in direct opposition to our wishes. We didn't show up, but everybody else did.

Dear Brandon, It was *that Wired article* that turned me into a fan. Your grace and dignity in response spoke more about your character and religion than the prejudiced opinion of the kid who wrote that piece. (Im a fantasy reader, but Robert Jordan’s interminable WoT books turned me off *thick* epics. I may be one of the few listeners to the podcast who hasnt read any of your books (hubby finished WoT, my youngest has read Alcatraz) or Dan’s (sorry! I dont enjoy scary!). The podcast comes across as pleasant chatter between friends - friends of a similar age to me - and it is perfect for listening to when Im doing an activity that lets my mind follow along.

I got married last summer, and our wedding reception was awesome! We didn't have dancing, instead we themed each table around something we loved - Mistborn and Reckoners were both featured, as well as D&D, etc. So while waiting to hang out with us, our guests were able to look at fun stuff and learn about us. We even had some kids learn D&D at the reception! But I'd agree that traditional wedding receptions aren't that fun for my incredibly introverted self.

Dan, you were really speaking to me here. Thanks a lot for your sage advice- tons of it this episode!

In 7 - 10 grade I would ask my mom to type my papers for me. I did this because I enjoyed having conversations with her about the writing styles I would use. Figuring out the best word to use, or how to structure a paragraph and create an information flow. I thought this created nice moments for us to bond. I don't think she ever knew those reasons, and eventually I believe she thought I was trying to slack off by asking for her help. If I could go back to those times I would try to explain why I wanted to do the work together.

Mr. Wells - I also have a son that struggles with schoolwork and I have employed the same strategy of writing what he dictates. I hear you.

I emailed Dawn about getting a blurb from Dan, and she told us that he was just too busy, and we totally understood, exactly as he just laid out.

Wait, who doesn’t like wedding receptions? That’s where the food and drinks are!

Yay weddings! I just got back from my niece's, and started crying when the groom included "journey before destination" in his vows.

I wish growing up that my mental and medical heath were taken more seriously. I had a lot of trouble paying attention in school because of ADHD and have had undiagnosed allergies for MANY years before my wife was like "Hey that is not normal and you can get help".

A few thoughts: - Something to realise is that, while every one of us is the protagonist of our own lives, for almost everyone we interact with, we're background extras, or, at best, have a brief speaking role. For some, we make it to recurring character status, but it's only a handful for whom we manage to be main cast. Most of the time, when someone does something, it's because of things we don't know about going on in the rest of their lives, and only very slightly to do with us. - It's relatively easy to say "no" to things we don't want to do. Where things get really tricky is learning when to say "no" to things we do want to do, or think we should do, but which we don't have the time or other resources to commit to. For an author, the question of what to do about fan mail is often an example - for a minor author, reading all the fan mail that comes in isn't a major time commitment, and even writing thoughtful replies can be done without significantly cutting into writing time, but as the author gets more popular, fan mail can snowball fast - you can quickly reach a point where reading the fan mail is a full-time job, and one that doesn't pay very well (at least not in ways that enable you to pay the bills). Something similar applies to everyone - there are always more good causes in the world than any one person could devote time and money to even if they did nothing else. That sort of triage - figuring out what to devote your finite time and attention to - is an essential life skill. - I'm another who was very good at school stuff - there was one occasion where, and I do not recommend this for anyone, we were doing revision in the lead-up to sitting A-level exams, and had been set a past paper to do for homework, in order to go through it in class. For whatever reason, it'd completely slipped my mind, so at the start of the class, I quietly confessed to the teacher that I'd forgotten about it, "but give me a three minute head-start" - and I managed to work through the 90 minute paper in the half hour class, staying ahead of the teacher and even contributing answers to the discussion and checking my own answers as the teacher covered the questions. Of course, I wasn't writing complete answers longhand - just cryptic notations for my own use, which was much faster - but I had the academics on lock...

Kids' brains get overwhelmed easily since the prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet. Two indispensable life skills to teach them: learning how to break down any task into manageable pieces, externalizing executive functions(verbalize "I am going to..." or pointing directly at what you need to do) I didn't learn these until adulthood, but they are an everyday use for me.

It's nice to see a couple that is happy. Also for some big families, marriages and funerals are the only time you see everyone.

Omg I popped into B&N and saw an interesting book in the horror section by the author Dan Wells, took a minute to connect and ask ‘Dan Wells from this podcast?’ I know have a book to pick up.

Honestly, I haven’t watched any of these, but if these are what they are all like, I’m going to be watching a lot more. I could really benefit from fatherly life advice like this

These are the best episodes you do, just do this.

Introverts. Mandatory socialization with added expectations.

I did not expect to be crying in the last 5 minutes of this podcast. ❤

Great talk. Dan’s thinking on talking part in his side of an argument and bettering himself is very 12 step and Buddhist leaning. I love it

Dan, you are the main reason I follow this channel.

I worked in a call center doing surveys during a summer. I got a stomach ache every time I went to the job, and I'm firmly convinced that affected my performance the next semester. And I was even good enough to get on the better surveys

My husband and I love receptions when there’s a dance floor 🥰 Thank you both for sharing these thoughts. A lot of this hit home for me and it means a lot to hear authors I admire so much talk so candidly about this kind of struggle and pain ❤

I haven't seen Brandon in a while so the beard is new for me. He's definitely rocking it, good choice.

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1085">18:05</a> Dan speaking some great truth here. I’ve known far too many people who just place blame on others. Accepting responsibility for whatever wrongs I’ve committed can make room for growth and ease a situation.

Call centers are the most popular miserable job easily. I've been in one for two years and its a soul draining job. Would have never crossed my mind that Brando worked on one.

I have my husband an engagement sword when he gave me the engagement ring. He cut the cake with it.

this is a great video, it does help a lot. It is good to fail, because you can see where you have gone wrong and you will have the tools and knowledge to correct your mistakes. It will help you stay humble, be true to yourself, ,and you gain new set of skills. You progress, you get better each time. You win, you lose, you make mistakes, it is important, it is part of everything. It is good to know what your doing is wrong, where your going wrong, because it will help make it better. If nobody says anything, you're not going to know and you're going to keep on repeating it. To be honest, the only time you fail is if you give up. Hard work reeps it's own rewards. Patience is a difficult thing sure, but it is rewarding. It isn't a quick snip. Thanks for sharing Brandon.

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1977">32:57</a> No, that's THEIR line.

While most call centers suck I worked at my companies inbound call center for about 2 years and I can honestly say it was an above average experience. Managers are great and actually care about the employees and make great hiring decisions so the team was a ton of fun to be on. They actually retained employees so it was never crazy busy and I actually taught myself software development in my downtime. My second year I didn’t even take any calls and just worked on other projects which since the managers actually appreciated good ideas which eventually led to more opportunities.

I had a really good time at my own wedding reception, and often have friends declare how much fun they had as well. However, we were all ALSO glad when it was over. I guess we're all a bunch of introverts.

Brandon's conversation about good managers also needs the other side of the equation. Brandon could have heard that he was doing something wrong and bucked at being coached. Being able to hear criticism and being able to be coached is probably one of the biggest indicators of success there is.

I love clearly meaningful wedding receptions. But, a few have been rough and felt weird. When my wife and I got married we really tried to make ours meaningful and something people would want to be at and be happy they went. I’ve heard since then people felt that way but who knows how many truly felt that way haha

These are such amazing episodes. Keep it up

Best podcast I've heard in a while. I appreciate how Dan and Sanderson felt comfortable sharing such deep insights with us. I'll need a minute to digest this one

My wedding reception was awesome! We had mariachi's, a DJ for dancing, delicious snack foods and desserts. My wife was adamant that she didn't want to stand there while a long line of people congratulated us. So instead we just walked around chatting with family, friends, and neighbors, sang along to awesome mariachi music, and danced the night away. Most receptions I've been to were boring, but ours was amazing!

At last, an episode tailored just for me!

There is definitely some great advice in this episode. Thank you.

So many feelings here. I've worked in a call center and yes, that was miserable, but it was easy. My job at my local airport is worse (for me specifically as an introvert in a very extroverted customer service job). After three years, the soul and all faith in humanity is crushed and I now have early onset arthritis because of it. And my wedding, other than my family, I can count on one hand how many of my friends showed up for the reception. I kind of wish I didn't even have a reception.

One hundred percent, Dan! It is so difficult to teach what you are good at, especially to your own kids.

Very good and very relatable. I have three kids and I've had to deal with the fact that our children are very different individuals instead of just smaller versions of ourselves. It was very hard for me to accept that my kids could be bad at something I'm good at (the other way is always easier) and that I would have to struggle to help them with it.

This was very soothing to listen to. I kinda think this could be a recurring topic every few months.

great episode, got a bit emotional at the end

Well, it might just be the best episode of the podcast so far.

I love wedding receptions!

I love wedding receptions! Lots of alcohol in the ones i go too

For me the saying no dilemma is more about things I don't want to do, but I think I should. How do I know when it's good to stretch my comfort zone and when instead it's just something that isn't for me and I will hate it? I've had it turn out both ways so it's always hard to choose. Is it going to be worth the trouble or not? Should I just always say yes and brace for the bad experiences because I will learn from them or is it ok to sometimes say "no thanks, I don't know if I would actually dislike this but I just don't feel like doing this". I actually think about this a lot, and I try to keep a balance between the two, but it is a legit dilemma for me

Best episode yet!

I absolutely hated working at a call center. But it was a necessary evil at the time.

This was nice.

Great episode

This was a really good one.

My last kid is graduating and I am a therapist. Nearly every kid in this age range is experiencing some mental health stuff. It’s really tough. Therapy and medication help. Hugs and figuring out what they need for education helps. Prayer helps. That’s all I have. ❤

great episode

Library shaped gladiator really got me 🤣

I love wedding receptions. But i also look for any opportunity to dress up cuz i never get a chance to. Plus it's just fun vibes.

However long ago this was recorded, congratulations to Zoe (Zoey?) and her new spouse!

When my wife and I got married 22+ years ago, we didn't have the 'traditional' receiving line. Instead, she and I mingled around visiting with everyone who showed up. Sometimes this was together, sometimes it was one on one, but we had the best time and the evening was over sooner than we had expected.

"You need to get to a wedding reception." "I do." And yet neither of them realize.

You say No when you have priorities you can't conflict with. Having children or taking care of elderly parents, these are things that force you to say No, because your committment to your family makes it so you can't commit to something else that takes you away from that.

Campaign calling is bad, political surveys are the WORST. People hate you for calling them, the questions are biased and bad and you both know it, and you have to keep calling until you meet the demographic requirements of the survey, which means calling people way later at night than is really appropriate. Then you get cussed out and have to keep calling. Consumer surveys aren't as terrible, but call center still ranks as one of my bottom 3 worst jobs ever.

I’m in a different industry than writing books (though I want to!), but I’ve rarely regretted saying “no” to an opportunity if I’ve carefully weighed the options and am deciding upon what’s best for me/family. But I have regretted saying “yes” to opportunities out of fear or a scarcity mindset. End of the day, I feel we need to base decisions off our needs, but also our values.

Hey Brandon and Dragonsteel team👋🏼, thanks for all your works. Quick question: what do you think would happen if somebody compounds copper?

I worked in a call center for 8 years. 5 of which the management had promises of upward mobility, which the managers were generally good and there a few employees who were able to have upward mobility. 3 of which I realized the dream was dead and perhaps had always been dead. 4 years on, I am still in therapy from those 8 years, the call center didn't even skip a beat. point is, trust your gut. I knew 6 months in what it was, but I kept second guessing kept choosing to trust. Not again. Trust. Your. Gut.

My college work experience involved me doing work that was similar to what I normally did for another boss while his regular person was off for summer. I was doing it and double checking like I saw he wanted, but then later he said that he wanted me to triple check and I didn't so he lost it and just told me to not work on it anymore, and that if I were his employee he'd fire me. There was 0 allowance for me to correct my workflow, the problem was that the system he was using was broken and dropping postings after 3 days, so I was loading them and then checking the next day and they were still there so I thought it was fine. ah well, he wasn't my actual boss so I wasn't fired and my bosses were like, I don't know, that's his problem, not yours. My friend I was covering for was like, he's always been nice to me, I don't know why that happened. I learned that I need to read emails more carefully, but that's hard for me.

This was such a great and poignant episode !

While being trusting is a virtue, being as-scam-proof as you can be, by not giving any leeway for scammers from getting the better of you. For example, if a bad neighbourhood is known for crime, you take as many precautions as you can to avoid ever ending up stranded or near that place at any point in your life. Or ensuring that you cut ties with groups of people known to be scammers. Identifying traits and behaviours of scammers so fast that you have every countermeasure in place to prevent that person being able to scam you. Sometimes it is good to know how to put the devil in its place and escape from the devil without the devil even realising that a juicy target got away 😆

If people are dancing at a wedding reception it's awesome and supremely fun. Need a great cover band or a great DJ that plays to the crowd and not themselves.

A book that really helped me with failure was “principles” by ray dalio. Great episode guys

I just finished third draft of my book and am going to try to get it published and this shows up in my feed 😂😅😢

Man, talking about when to step in and do the things someone else just can't seem to do vs. letting them fail is such a hard topic. It seems like ultimately you need systems like schools to be set up to embrace uneven failures, but what do you do when they aren't set up that way? There are these boundaries where you suddenly have fewer opportunities if you don't reach a threshold (like passing or graduating). Those are all the incentive anyone needs to prop someone up and keep them from failure, but they're artificially imposed boundaries. I wonder what it would be like if they didn't exist and you just got to the end of an educational era and have a set of continuous values that represent you without that extra pass/fail judgement attached.

I recently replaced the flooring in my mom's hallway. I failed to find my dad's old coping saw.

I was curious if you could make a video on how to write a flashback sequence?

Its so funny. I also worked in collections development at my university (yhe job Nrandon is describing) and i loved it. The only bad part was that we also had to choose whether to keep or discard books that were donated...and we weren't allowed to just take any home. We HAD to theow them away. (I think it was a tax issue, but im not sure.) Worst part of the job.

Brandon, I don't know if this is encouraging or discouraging to hear, but I think everybody feels helpless in these situations, strong emotions or not. I'm looking at my parents when I feel bad, for example. The question is, how do you react when you feel that feeling of helplessness? Do you run away from the situation or cave in? Do you try do diminute it or blame it on the other person? Or do you just stay and are there for them, even though it hurts? It sounds to me like you do the latter, and that is, I think, what matters most.

My wife got me a Bat'leth years ago for my birthday, but I haven't been able to find a mek'leth to go with it.

Big fan of unpaid unintern Donald. Get him on as a guest!

KZfaq video idea - can we get a tour of your offices? I wanna see the sword and your other nerdy knick knacks. :D

The Brandon Sanderson Hotel? Wonder what that Hotel would look like?

Wedding receptions are good, there's usually food and cake. They can be fun too. I've enjoyed them as an adult, I don't think I liked them when I was a kid...

I will do whatever I'll do to Moash to that wire article.😊

Wedding receptions are a lot more fun when alcohol is involved.