"Oh, I'm sorry, I was raised on television and conditioned to believe that every black women over 50 is a cosmic mentor" - Jeff Winger

When I was studying acting in college, we had a guest speaker who worked on the movie "Hitch". He told us that they had to really negotiate with someone on the production end of things to cast Will Smith because they felt that although Will Smith would do a fine job, they would not be able to cast a lead actress. They refused to cast a white actress to pair with him because they didn't want to pair a black man and a white women, and they refused to cast a black actress, because that would officially make it a "black movie". So they split the difference, cast a latina, and agreed to casting Will Smith. I mention this because, it could be said that all of the things the Cracked team covered in this episode are pure speculation, but, whether they know this or not, this one is actually based in fact. Probably not the only one, but it's the only one I can, myself, speak to.

"Most of the characters Morgan Freeman has ever played." Including his role in the Lego Movie.

"i'M THE GOOFBALL IN MY OWN LIFE!?" I laughed so hard, I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds.

"Gay people are magic!" Is still the best setup line for any episode of After Hours.

Anybody notice when sarron whispers "We Are" to Dan at 5:22 ?

I’m so sad I came across this series and cracked on KZfaq in 2019. Love the content, wish the evil dying newspaper company that bought Cracked didn’t liquidate them, destroying my hopes for more OPCD and After hours to ever flourish again.

The waitress has "Crazy Beautiful" tattooed on her arm.

why has hollywood exposed our gay magic this was supposed to be secret goddammit

I'd like to testify that 1. I am gay and 2. I AM magic.

"Sometimes i forget you guys arent all figments of my imagination" That quote pretty much sums up all my interactions with other people.... is that bad?

Another example of handedness in movies. The Infinity Gauntlet in Infinity War which was made specifically for Thanos is for his left-hand. When they remade the gauntlet in Endgame, it's for right-handed use.

Daniel is obviously the protagonist. Soren even confirms it when he mouths "WE ARE" in response to Daniel saying "I forget you're not all figments of my imagination".

The last Samurai thing actually makes perfect sense, in the sense that there's no such thing as a left handed Japanese sword style, regardless of handedness. That's one of the things that made Hajime Saito so famous/dangerous, was that he was one of the number of swordsmen from japan that you can probably literally count on one hand that taught himself left handed fighting. Because,you know, interesting shit no one cares about :D

When you find out you're not the protagonist in your own life lmao

black man white woman-"save the last dance" and i hate that i know that

as a gay man, I can assure you we are magic

The left and right handedness of characters is actually intentional and a pretty old rhetorical device. It's not a coincidence that we call things that are correct "right," as the default construction of most devices (particularly complex machines requiring an operator) is that which is operable to a right-handed person (the majority of people). Pre-dating the Industrial Revolution, even, left-handed individuals were considered shifty and untrustworthy. The word "sinister" is Latin for "left" (or proper left, predominately when discussing one's coat of arms, in which designs on the proper left of the shield were considered less important to the history or attitude of one's family. Ever noticed that the eagle on the Seal of the US is holding arrows in its left claw and an olive branch in its right?). The negative connotation of "sinister" comes from this attribution of untrustworthy behavior to left-handed individuals, a practice that still shows up in film and TV, today.

I've probably seen every After Hours at least 5 times over the years and this is the first time I've noticed Soren lean into DOB and whisper, "We are" after Dan says "Sometimes I forget you aren't all figures of my imagination."

I love the silent "WE ARE!" after he just stated he had forgotten they WEREN'T figments of his imagination... and since he didnt try to let him see that... Are they actually just a figment of his imagination? Is that why they all have such specific personalities? :D OMG i want an After Hours about them discussing how likly it is, that they are just figments of his imagination :D

My gay sociology professor said he is so done with gay stereotypes in movies because when he first becomes friends straight, females they want to go shopping with him and ask for hair and makeup advice...

Its really weird because in real life black male white woman couples are like a hundred times more common than their counterparts. I find that odd

idk why but i like the way Daniel talks. lol

Jessica jones.... To your black man whit woman.

What about the stereotype of the "inspirational disabled person"? You know what I'm talking about--that movie that shows a person with a disability triumphing over adversity and changing able-bodied people's look on life in the process. As someone who's been visually impaired since birth, that stereotype drives me nuts. If we overcome obstacles and inspire others, great, but don't define us by our disabilities. We're not here to be wing-men constantly dispensing advice and insight to make non-disabled people feel more fortunate or better about themselves. It will be a great day in Hollywood when a film is made about a character with a disability and that disability isn't the central focus of the story and instead shows the character as someone just living their life, someone who just happens to be disabled.

Katie: Are you so crazy that you've been keeping track of which hand movie characters write with?! Dan: Nope...I've been studying hair parts! Me: I think I'm in love

"You should have just walked away, Soren."

1:23 The use of Red from Shawshank Redemption here is odd, because he actually is a flawed and human character who grows through the course of the film. The movie is told from his perspective, and he learns things from Tim Robbins' character. The line here, "That's goddamn right," follows "Get busy living, or get busy dying," which was a phrase he repeats from Tim Robbins. I mean, it's mostly true about Morgan Freeman's roles. But this example was peculiar.

Yeah, I think we should be equal with the distribution of violence. Equal brutalization for everyone, regardless of class, race or gender!

Egyptians are always white in Hollywood...

Michael is lefty, but his hair parts like he's right handed?

Im left handed but i shoot with my right, and fight dudes with swords with me right hand. My hair is parted too the right as well. Left handed people dont only use their left hand for certain things.

How about the dumb dad, smart mom stereotype. I'm kinda tired of seeing it, and the only show I can think that changes it is American dad, but I can't think of a film.

I love these after hours episodes.

The white and black romance thing, does it count if it's TV? Cause I have one word for all y'all. Leverage. Two main characters, Hardison (black) and the lovely Parker (white) end up dating by end season and are flirting through the series. So... Proof.

I miss these guys so much. Good stuff.

This is Cracked's best video series.

Seriously? The subject is ridiculous Hollywood stereotypes, and not one mention of how Asian males are portrayed? I agree you don't often see a black guy and white woman end up together in movies, but you do see it occasionally. What you ALMOST NEVER see is a straight Asian male portrayed as a sexual being IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, let alone with a white woman. Asian females are the love interest for every race but their own. The male characters, it's all "mean Asian dad" or "sexually ambiguous friend." I've been almost exclusively with white women my entire life; not because I didn't want to date an Asian girl, I just was never around very many. And while I wouldn't say I'm a party-animal alpha douche, I'm certainly not an introverted little nerd. But as far as Hollywood is concerned, I DON'T EXIST. The one notable exception is, of course, Glenn and Maggie on The Walking Dead. Glenn is a pretty amazing character, when you think about it. I heard an interview with Whoppi Goldberg where she talked about seeing Lt. Uhura on Star Trek, and it made her realize she could be whatever she wanted. White people can't understand it, but NEVER seeing anyone who represents you on TV, it's a very limiting thing. Glenn, even leaving aside the whole Maggie factor, he's the first sort of normal, ACTUAL DUDE-type Asian character I've EVER seen portrayed on TV. I know it was a long time coming and there's still room for improvement, but there are now quite a few regular guy characters who are black. Glenn is literally the ONLY Asian, and even with him, they sometimes fall back on that whole "nerdy" thing. There are more Asian males on this planet than any other type of male: we obviously DO US SOME FUCKING. But you'd never know it from movies or TV.

"Modern Family, which has one of the most balanced and realistic gay relationships on television"... *cough* The Fosters *cough* Stef and Lena forever.

I was pointed towards a pretty appealing movie called "The Watermelon Woman" by Cheryl Dunye. It's about a black lesbian film student trying to research an obscure actress from the 1940s, in the hopes that her demographic will finally be given the deserved representation in the field of film history. I recommend it. It's not that long and was cheap to rent on iTunes. It had a couple heavy moments but was mostly loose and fun, and plays with breaking the fourth wall where you feel like you are getting a rather honest vertical slice of what was going on in Dunye's life at the time, so once you're reeled in, the (SPOILERS!) title card at the end confirming that most of what you saw, at least everything regarding the mysterious actress, was a fiction does hurt, even if you're not surprised by this revelation. It's also very 90s. Considering how strong her first attempt at making a movie turned out, I'm sure Dunye's other movies are good too. But the other ones are clearly gritty and not here to cheer people up; documentaries about systemic exploitation of women's prisons and the like.

I can't believe this video didn't include the three stereotypes that all female characters from Hollywood fit into. And on the subject of female deaths they are a lot more common if the female character happens to be gay. A lesbian character will die about 81% of the time.

Make another after hours about ANYTHING I swear I am obsessed with these episodes... you could talk about anything and I would be interested

I miss these so much

In regards to the "Left-handedness is only for villains" trope, props to "The Lord of the Rings" for not giving into this stereotype. Theoden was a lefty.

An observation I made (when that Cheerios commercial came out and ignorant people were upset about the black guy and the white woman) those who have a problem with it are usually misogynists. The act of being with a woman still means that they have ownership so it is okay for white men to own women of all races but when a non white man "owns" a white woman they have serious issues because to them woman can't make the choice on who they date. I have to admit that I'm still surprised that it is reflected in Hollywood since we are in the 21st century we should be past this.

SPOILER ALERT Angelina Jolie got shot in the head in Wanted... but after watching it again there was no blood spray and every other guy character shot in the scene had a blood spray

theory falls apart at 6:32 where tom cruises hair is parted like a left handed person

I am seeing this in 2022, and man, ever so relevant. Can't believe how amazing this whole series was....

Amazing departed spoiler aha, that's fucked someone's day up. God damn it I cant believe I only discovered Cracked today.

they miss one other insane stereotype, the Evil Albino

i love these videos!

I've gotta say, this is one of the most well done, and interesting videos of after hours yet.

just make more. I miss these.

I think this is the best of all. Perfect

3:01 A black man and a white woman get together in Love Actually, The Bone Collector, The Pelican Brief, Save the Last Dance, Boogie Nights, Hancock, Cruel Intentions, The Day After Tomorrow, House of Wax, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Jungle Fever, Blazing Saddles, Me, Myself & Irene, Primary Colors, Valentine’s Day... and that's just to name but a few.

After Hours is my favorite series on Cracked. The only reason I subbed.

Also if the protagonist is black it's probably an action movie or maybe a romantic comedy. There are very few good smart movies about life and stuff starring black people because the general audience won't relate with a black guy having complex existential issues. Same thing with a woman, it will either be a romantic comedy about her wanting a rich guy *or* having to choose between a rich guy and a much better one who is relatively poor, or just an action movie with the gimmick being "this time it's a woman!" Nobody is gonna watch a movie about a woman having to deal with an issue unrelated to at least one guy because every woman's life is supposed to gravitate around a man. That's how Hollywood think. Don't even get me started on an asian guy being the protagonist in something else than an action movie (and the guy not being Jackie Chan). We're gonna have to wait years for that one, maybe decades. And for the protagonist to be an arab, he's gonna at least have to be an ex-terrorist, or an infltrated terrorist who works for the government (because you'll never have a movie where the american government is the bad guys) or *anything related with terrorism*. It's like in ancient times where every character of a play was a member of royalty, it's for the audience to *care*, you have to have important people as your protagonists. And who is more important than a white male, really ?

7 years later and the protagonist reference at the end still gets me 😂

These are so fun to watch!

Seriously, how many times do we have to ask for 2 After Hours a month? Dont you get it Cracked??

MORE After fucking Hours! I love these so freaking much.

I swear this makes me want break out my DVD collection and just start binge watching just to see if his theory holds up about handedness and hair parts.

Hey I haven't laughed out loud at a cracked video in a while, nice ending :)

The way your hair is parted has nothing to do with which hand is your dominant hand goofballs

A movie with a Black man with a white woman. Well there was Hancock with Will Smith and Charlize Thorne. Redtails. Texas Chainsaw 3D with Trey Songz dating the main girl lead. With tv there is Lost Girl with Kenzi and Hale. In cartoon shows there was Justice League, Young Justice, and Static Shock, Teen Titans. Actually the bigger issue is the lack of Black women being represented as the girlfriend characters to Black male leads. You rarely see a Black woman with a Black man. She is replaced with Latinas and biracial women to pass for Black because the character is suppose to be sexy and Hollywood doesn't find Black women all that sexy and they are afraid to have a Black couple together because they feel their film will be labeled a "Black movie" but they have no problem with having a full cast of whites and one or two token other ethnic characters.

Yes I am magical, because I am gay and trans. *I am the all powerful rainbow wizard*

I miss this show and the world will be better when it comes back

It's pissing me off that the food is getting cold.

As someone who parts his hair every day, I can tell you that which hand you part your hair with usually has to do with your hairline, not whether you are left or right handed. When I decided to grow my hair out, my barber literally had me try both to see which looked better. I'm left handed, and I part with my right because right to left looked stupid on me lol

Excellent point and observation on the left handed stereotypes

Watching Rise of Skywalker made me think of this episode. RIP FinnxRey

i like watching these and pretending i have friends

it still creeps me out how creepy Soren looked when he mouthed "we are" to Dan.

I can't believe they did a thing on protagonists always being left handed and not using the latin word for left handed, Sinster.

3:03 Thank you so much for calling attention to that trope it needs to be called out more and more. 👍

"Will smith cant end up with a white woman" 9 months later... :P

On the "no black male/white female couples" front, I was introducing my parents to Community, which they love, but my mother pointed out the fact that when Troy was dating Britta, they never once kissed on screen. Britta kissed Jeff when they were an item (as did Annie), but when she was dating Troy, as sweet as they were as a couple, there was this sort of almost platonic barrier as far as PDA was concerned. Yes, they were shown in bed once (so coitus is implied), but never anything more than a hug actually on screen. I didn't notice it until it was pointed out, but yeah, that's still a thing for some reason.

Aw, man. I had just started the departed :'(

Just noticed there aren't any credits in the beginning of this one for the animations and the writer. This one is one of my favs, I need to know who to admire for it's greatness!

Black man with white woman: House the TV series. :)

i think they forgot to mention Hancock. on the white and black arguement. . .

"Tom Cruise does every thing Right-Handed" *Proceeds to give 3 different examples of Tom Cruise parting his hair the left handed way*

why did they stop making these? I love these guys

I actually really love this video because they bring up a lot of really good points without seeming bias.

Gotta go write a screenplay about a gay wizard who has to defeat a left handed villain who shoots men in the head but never women, brb.

6:33 i like how he was just talking about the protagonist parting their hair with their right hand and then it cuts right to tom cruise with a left handed parting.....

How are these fine videos 5 years old?! Sadly missed 😕.

I don't know about all movies in general, but Cloud Strife is right-handed and Sephiroth is left-handed...

I'm right handed, but everyone who's ever seen me write says that I write like I'm left handed. What does this mean? Edit: I'm *right* handed, not *write* handed. Also, I'm a dumbass for getting that wrong.

Law abiding citizen, the female judge gets "shot" in the head. P.S. I'm watching all the channels videos, I guess I'm weirdly obsessed with this channel since yesterday and I just now see this video 2 years later...still..

Hair parting: I'm a left-handed guy, and I push my hair left-to-right across my head instead of pulling it. So. You can't use that to tell handedness

Don't forget, lead parts quite usually have blue eyes

...I'm the left-handed goofball in my own life too.

I thought of a good title for a movie the kiss that writes the check

This Dorian again. And this time I just want to say hahahahaha. Great vid. Made me laugh multiple times, even though it was shorter than most. Pointed out the realities of an ALWAYS biased ( regardless of which way u lean ) media. And picked on Lefties. Of which I was born one, but because my first grade teacher didn't know how to teach me to write with my left hand made me use my right. Changing my handage, if that's a word .....???? Forever. Tom Cruise. Scientology. Hahahaha.

The hair part theory is extremely flawed, because not everyone parts their hair in the direction of their hendedness. for example, I am right-handed, but typically part my hair to the left, and I imagine I'm probably not the only one

*Personal request:* Put the "After hours" first , _then_ the title of the video! I never know if i'm gonna get a great, smart "after hours" sketch/discussion which is funny and very well written, or a shockingly fast montage of movie clips that will get on my nerves. Hehehe....love you guys! :p

Dan begins rocking back-n-forth when called crazy. lol

3:04 Not a movie but Parker and Hardison from Leverage.

What about Christina Hendricks in Drive? How about that for a woman getting shot in the head?