Always remember, only Sith deal in absolutes. ONLY sith deal in absolutes. ONLY.......

Best episode of Star Trek is when Picard was taken and turned into a sith lord but then he was rescued by the rebel federation. And because of this he was able to tell them where to fire photon torpedoes to blow up the death cube.

You forgot Jedi Librarian. A decade and a half of your life (at least) spent honing your lightsaber and rock levitating skills, only to end up sorting Holocrons under the Dewey Decimal system.

I Miss This So Much, Shout Out To Michael For Keeping It Going On “Small Beans”

Qui-gon's mission to settle a trade dispute was interrupted by 1. Being ignored 2. Being attacked 3. The discovery of an invading army

The empire actually did not abolish all slaver, they abolished slavery against humans.

I feel like Katie had most of the best lines in After Hours, but Dan's, "The galaxy's on the line, Riddler!" might be my favorite of all.

So I'm reading the comments...and NONE of this shit's about Star Trek...

Happy After Hours!

Aside from potentially causing distress, Jedi having children with each other makes a lot of sense.

The 'you're too old to train' bit is just the first test, one to test your conviction. The second test is not looking into the nozzle of a saber while turning it on.

Love the bit at 5:26 where Michael gestures and Dan acts like he choked for a second.

Quality! After Hours is so so good. Keep it up guys :)

Anyone else caught that moment where Michael used "force shut up" on Dan?

Actually the code forbids forming attachments. It says nothing about boning someone you don't give a shit about. They are all in peak physical condition, and they have an innate empathic awareness of when they are hitting it just right. Trust me they were at the top of everyone's booty call list.

I love how the guy with bleeding in his brain won this argument.

Here's a mind fuck: in the 6th Star Wars, Leia says that she can remember Padme, and that it seemed Padme was always sad and lonely. This means that Leia must have been with Padme til she was at least four or five, since there aren't many people who are able to remember their toddler years into adulthood, unless it was something very traumatic. But in the third Star Wars, they kill Padme right after she gives birth to Luke and Leia, so Leia NEVER spent anytime with her! Leia either lied to Luke about remembering their mother, or she could apparently have out of body Force experiences while she was a fetus.

My favorite part of Star Trek is when they shoot a guy into space and force him to watch bad movies.

What would Star Wars be like without Jedi? It would be Firefly, and that's fine by me.

I miss Afterhours. Actually Cracked in general. This proves that all great things in life can't go on forever. I wonder how these four would take that thought and connect to some movies.....

You guys do know the whole point of the prequels was to show how wrong the Jedi were about everything right? Sex being forbidden, but they had no knowledge of medichlorian heredity. Jedi can only be trained from birth, but Anakin and Luke did just fine. Love and attachment are paths to the dark side, even though a LOT of Jedi stayed good despite secret relationships. There are only ever two Sith because they can't ever get along, even though there used to be LEGIONS of them. Even the nature of the Dark Side and the Light is incorrect. Jedi can perform evil just as easily as Sith can do good. The true nature of the force isn't good or evil, it's your focus and will to act.

The Jedi seem to have parallels to the medieval clergy. Monks and Priests were often hypocrites, who instead of being celibate, pious and modest, often were rich, greedy, and some had mistressess and children. Thankfully, there were reforms.

The real reason the Jedi are idiots is because they allowed themselves to get stuck being civil-service flunkies. Instead of being mysterious heroes who appear in times of great need, they're like the interns who get stuck with all the jobs none of the regular employees want to do. Rather than trying to eliminate all EMOTIONAL attachments, they should have eliminated all POLITICAL attachments. They never should have had their main Jedi facility located on Coruscant. They should have all lived and trained at a secret base hiddden on a planet stuck in the Unknown Regions, with only Masters venturing out when they sensed a great need through the Force. If they wanted to keep a presence on Coruscant, it should have been isolated from all (non-Jedi) outside communication. Anyone who wanted to petition the Jedi for help would have to camp out in front of the big, sealed, front door, and hope that there was actually someone inside the dark, silent building that would eventually notice them.

Crazy how this video animated Obi Wan watching young Luke through binoculars

I always liked star trek. I used to watch it every day after school. McCoy was always my favorite. "Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor not a bricklayer!". That's gold right there, Jack.

They enslave the wookies though

As a kid, I was so sure Leia was calling Han a "scruffy nerve-hurter". I was taken aback by the nerf hearder revalation years later.

my favorite line sith and jedi are just two sides of the same force balancing dumbass coin LOL Mandolorian's for life.

they are so right captain Kirk was the dumbest Jedi lord in the star trek sequels :3

Okay for the record Anakin was trained by one of the best in the business, greatness is to be expected and he's not that far off from the age most padawans are trained from. He was what 8? Thats pretty young and he had the reflexes already from pod racing. These were natural gifts. Second Luke didn't really defeat anything. Vader was trying to turn him, let him get pissed off and pretty much got his ass kicked because he didn't want to hurt his son. The emperor was thrown off the balcony by Vader not Luke, so I dont know how you came to the conclusion that was his doing.

The biggest issue I have with the Jedi is thier code. They teacher them from their earliest ages to suppress or ignore perfectly natural feeling instead of teaching them how to deal with those feeling like actual people do. It amazes me you don't have more jedi flipping out and going rogue.

And this is why the Knights of the Old Republic universe is so much cooler.

Oooohh! I love Star Trek too! The best episode was when Jar Jar Binks killed the death star, using his awesome valyrian sword, after escaping from the Crematoria prison!

"The f*cking galaxy's on the line, Riddler" lol

This popped up again, after years. Never noticed how hard Swaim worked to sell his black eye. Man, I miss these.

Through this entire video I was expecting Micheals hand movements to accidentally move objects with the force in background or something. Anyone else notice he silenced Dan with a wave of his hand just after 5:25?

fuck it I'll ask. who was that stunning redhead in the back?

Jordi has force powers. you can see when he is able to realize the warp drive was about to explode, but he managed to fix it right before the borg came, AND right before the computer announced it was about to explode

My favourite scene in Star Trek is in TNG when present day piccard is in the future being attacked and nearly destroyed then outta fahken nowhere the old 2 IC guy flies in and just poof obliterates the bad guy.

This was good stuff. Sad it’s over

Hospital? Hospital? Hospital. Beetlejuice!

My favorite part was when Kirk and Spock figured out that Vaal was a computer.

To be honest, The Rule of two thing with the sith should've applied to the Jedi because the reason why the force became unbalanced in the first place is that the Sith kept their numbers low by having their apprentices kill their masters while the jedi built up their order like crazy.

Man, I miss you guys. Could've used you the last five years.

Spock is my favorite Jedi. My favorite part with him was when he flew in the tardis with marty mcfly to hogwarts

I've never heard of any of the Star Trek characters they mentioned, must have all been from Deep Space Nine.

I just stumble on to this LOL. It is crazy but also has some good points to it. I will have to go through more of the Cracjed Star Wars episodes.

Still missing you guys!

"Take one for the Galaxy my young Padawan." I've thought about using this as a pickup line.笑

Math does lead to the dark side!

Man I love this show. This is one of my go tos when I want something playing in the background when I do stuff

I miss these videos

DS9 is clearly the best series in Star Wars

My favorite part of Star Trek was when the Borg cube assimilated Alderaan.

I love this series

"candyman, beetleguice, shazam!!" all characters that their names make them appear, thats the new topic swaim was yelling at the end

every point was good besides the Empire being good because the Empire in the Ahsoka book went to the moon she was on told them that they either work on the farms under their control or they die and it turns out the crops they plant ruin the soil so they can never plant anything ever again ruining their lives

finally an After Hours video, I can stop clicking refresh now!

this video is so great!

I'd love to hear them do more Star Wars theories with the new movies out and such

But the Empire is a Fascist state, slavery has not been abolished and there are all those forced laborers. Life is difficult for those no in the inner circles, and aliens might as well kiss their sorry asses (or whatever they have) goodbye because the Empire is extremely racist! Though the Jedi were dogmatic and close minded in their philosophy and action they still held the Republic together for dozens of crisis's. They are all well trained and powerful individuals who make lasting differences in those they seek to help. Though I would call them misguided and naive they are still a Force for good in a greater galaxy.

God, I love Star Trek! I really hope that they're able to create a new series in the JJ Abrams universe or one that takes place in the original one. What do ya'll think?

My only question is that when they talk about how Qui-gon was asked to do negotiations but ended up just fighting, my question is didn’t the “negotiations” include Qui-gon and Obi-wan almost being poisoned, hence the crazy adventure and fighting

My most favorite episode to date;)

Star Lords was clearly the best jedi in the guardians of the star trek wars movie

Actually, each race can produce more than one Jedi master. In the prequels, there was a Jedi master that was the same race as Yoda on the Jedi Council.

0:55 - Word for when Katie references the most important moment in the life of Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO---!"

"I try, but I see Brian Mills." I lost it at that point.

The midichlorians don’t actually ruin the Force anyway. They were never stated to generate the Force. They were just a good metric for how powerful someone is because they’re attracted to it.

Also proof that Jedi are assholes. They prefer inaction, they would rather sit back and meditate to The Force. Mandalorian Jedi Hunters *KNOW* this fact and makes them effective killers. Sith have the capability of being good, look at Darth Vectivus for example. He was more of a Chaotic Good, being that he was ruthless, but more like a shrewd businessman. He died HAPPILY and COMFORTABLY around his family. That is why there aren't taught about him in many Jedi Academies, Jacen Solo NEVER heard of him.

AWESOME! You guys are super funny.

They all completely forgot to mention that Qui Gon takes anakin because he thinks he "will balance the force." It seems that literally every Jedi forgot that there were thousands of Jedi in the order and 2 Sith that they didn't even actually know about. If they trained him it would only be bad for the Jedi in that context. lol

I got bored so I am here to tear apart this 2 year old video. 1. The Jedi didn't want a massive army of Force Users running around. That happened in the EU and it didn't end well. They want a manageable size. They knew if there were Dynasties of Jedi that the Galaxy would suffer for it, and the Jedi would be looked at as this elite ruling class and come to be feared making it easier to overthrow them. Side Note: How does Palpatine come to defeat them? By turning the Galaxy against them, blaming them for the costly war and saying they were trying to overthrow their elected officials. 2. Jedi are allowed to have sex and even father children. But that it needs to come with the understanding that you are not beholden to them above all else. Ki-Adi-Mundi the Jedi Master with the tall head has several wives and children. This is because his race has a low birth rate so he is permitted so many. But the Jedi Masters know a Jedi is going to get his Dick Wet eventually and yeah may produce a child or two. But they want that Jedi to be loyal to the cause above his children because he could be compromised. Kinda like how Vadar was when he betrayed Sidious. 3. Jedi use Lightsabers because the weapon resonates with their force power and makes it easier to use than for a simple non force user. So its a weapon that feels right. Also its more practical for regulating how powerful the Jedi appear to be. Why does a Jedi need a blaster? Do they go out hunting people down with the intent to kill? If they were armed to the teeth every time you saw them you would assume so right? If every time you saw a Cop they where decked out in full Swat carrying an assault rifle and a tear gas launcher (Grenade Launcher?) you would assume this guy is loaded for bear so to speak and eventually if every cop looked like that you would hardly call them peace keepers, they would be a occupying military force. And Cops can't throw cars at you with their minds. So seeing a guy with a limited reach weapon like the saber while you have a blaster makes you feel more at ease, even if the Jedi can deflect your blaster bolt back at you and kill you without ever needing to touch your gun. 4. HA the empire didn't abolish Slavery, they Abolished HUMAN slavery. So yes they freed the human slaves. But for example lets look at the wookies, all are slaves or hunted for sport. Their entire home world is turned into a breeding farm for slaves. And these where the guys fighting FOR the republic. The Twi'lek people are STILL enslaving themselves and being enslaved by others. We all already know this because of how specist the Empire is. They didn't make things work they forced thing to work the way they wanted no matter who it hurt or killed. Orders from the Clone Troopers where harsh as fuck like Order 37. Which means if the Empire wanted to catch someone and they thought this person was in your city. They would round up all the civilians and begin killing them one by one till the person turned themselves in or till they had to move onto a new city because they killed all the people in that one.Now yes it was an order of last resort and it was rarely used but it was on the books and at least performed on the rare occasion. Side Note: In case you do not get how fucked up this is, imagine our soldiers going into a city in the middle east and rounding up all the men, women, and children there because they got word terrorist were in the city. Then they said unless someone turned the terrorist in or the terrorist turned themselves in they would begin killing the civilians till they did. Hardly something we would call a working system of a just government would we? 5. Well we are not clear, the Academy could be anything, the Rebels could have had their own Academy hidden from the Empire to train their rebels. But its possible its an Academy inside the Empire. But it also may have been the only way to get off world. We have heard of kids joining the army to get out of town and start a new life. 6. The Empire was evil not because of the Sith in charge but because of the system they set up. Humans where the top species and they looked down and treated all others as inferior because they saw it as them being just that much better. The Human leaders and generals in the armies where far more cruel and vicious than the primitive species they lorded over. Remember it was not the SITH who ordered Alderean to be destroyed but Tarkin a normal every day human admiral who had no force powers but was given power to dominate whomever he wanted because the Empire didn't care.

"Bring balance to the force" .......Considering the Jedi are everywhere and the Sith are a super minority, balance would mean the rise/spread of the Sith. Yoda and those other ass hats are supposed to be wise?! They should have killed the young Anakin and kept their so called republic going. (Although personally i wanted the darkside to win)

they think being angry will turn you evil. no, just no.

I thought, Michael Swaim already decided on calling the original trilogy, "The Orig Trig"?

Thetan levels! I came. Xd

force ghost can only appeal on force strong place like plant field planet

Man I miss this show!

I miss this show

"pass the peas" "there right there" he's clearly eating soup

Comparing Anakin and Luke to other Jedi isn't really fair, one of them is the Jedi messiah, and one was literally created out of magic to be the most powerful space wizard of all time. One of the primary reasons the Jedi take children young is so that they can instill in them the proper mindset needed to use the force without becoming corrupted and turning to the dark-side. (Every single Jedi that isn't Luke that we see learn trained after childhood is a Sith. and Luke cheats). because things like emotions or a desire for power are all it takes to start becoming corrupted it is vitally important that the Jedi are able to monitor every step of a force sensitive child development. Ideally most of their days would be spend meditating or reading philosophy or some such, with the occasional light-saber training with yoda being a fun activity/reward for their continued progress, (after all who wouldn't want to swing a laser sword around). Teaching Anakin the way they did was dangerous, they made an exception because of the prophecy and look where it got them, slaughtered in their own temple! they also made an exception for Luke but that was because they needed him to be able to fight Vader almost immediately after h began using his force powers (otherwise Vader would have sensed his presence in the force and come to take him away) there were simply not enough Jedi left to protect a padawan at that time. and once again it was dangerous, there was a large possibility that Luke would fall to the dark-side, Vader saw this, which is why he offered Luke the option of ruling the galaxy together. (something he would not have done if he foresaw zero possibility of Luke accepting it.

I wish I could contain myself like The After hours cast when I'm making dumb arguments with my friends.

Lol the Bryan Mills line killed me!

Anakin and Luke don't count becuase they are literally the most force capable beings ever.

and as for humans having the most Jedi... well humans are the most numerous species in the galaxy, and effectively the "baseline" species, high reproductive rates, ability to survive just about anywhere, boom, lots of kids, and the law of averages says there is a higher chance of them being force sensitive, so even though some species are naturally more inclined towards force sensitivity, the simple fact that humans outnumber them by several orders of magnitude means there will be more human Jedi

These Cracked After Hours videos are among the best "click bait" titles on KZfaq.

8:30 LOL!! "Thank you for watching this episode about Star Trek" I literally almost did a spit-take.

Well not completely true the empire tollerate slavery there are races used as slave a lot... especially not humans like wookiees

So... conclusion... Star Wars sucks.

I love it when Data and Lore interact.

I don’t appreciate the prequel slander, but to be fair they had no way of knowing what horrors awaited

Even by this religious logic they fail to understand. They lost me when they thought the empire would make a good society.

Too true, the Jedi are really shit.

HAHAHAHAHA good job guys!! didnt expect to laugh this much!!

I really loved this Star Trek episode k peace

I'm a star wars fundamentalist, the prequels are non-cannon

I spit out my drink when Michael said "Take one for the galaxy". 😂😂😂😂😂

awesome video haha

I think this might be the best After Hours episode thus far