Mr. I belive i got into a rebound relationship from My girlfriend who dumped me for at least a month. We last about four month, and ive been in NC since we break up... i miss her, so much. We had problems since the beginning but we had good times too, i'm devastated because after all she is a good person who cared for me, and was most of the time very lovely, but she was confused too. She said every time that she wanted this to work out, but It was too hard from both of us, for my insecurity and herd. It si possible that someone fall in love in a rebound relationship?

I thought avoidant personality disorder was a real thing. I know that in my ex, a woman with BPD, she exhibited some alignment with being avoidant. I think the two disorders (assuming APD is one) tend to play together.

Avoidant personality disorder is a different thing, but much more intense. Typically people who have been chronically abused early on in life develop this disorder. Avoidant attachment is a much less intense pathology. Its a coping mechanism effectively, but seems much worse if you have an anxious attachment style.

Agreed

Honestly the guy in this relationship sounded way more selfish and poorly behaved than her. Typical pushy AP behavior.

I agree completely 👊🏽

Facts 😄🤙💯💯💯

I had an ex come back 8 years later wanting to reconnect lol

Or he wants you to become addicted to an emotional rollercoaster relationship where he has the upper hand via partial intermittent reward.

If he’s a dismissive avoidant they play this game even when they are interested. Normal healthy men do this when they are not interested.

How are you getting on now?

@rwentfordable turned out she was fearful avoidant. Not that it changed anything. I finally reached out after 5 months, although polite she was as cold as ice and no feelings. She said she could be friends but not more. I won't give her that satisfaction of using me as a friend.

@@droflivelife my ex is also a FA. I bumped into him like 15 months after the breakup (all time no contact), and he was also really cold. Dont know why.

I don’t think ignoring a woman works the same as ignoring a man. Woman want to be chased and they want you to show interest.

How do you like the Creative Healing Course so far?!

@@CoachCraigKenneth I love it!! I’m doing it for about 45 minutes a day. I am so grateful that you consolidated your knowledge into an easy way to digest, and that Coach Margaret’s knowledge and experience has been saved for us 🩷 Her wisdom lives on. Plus, your cartoons make me laugh! 🤣 I usually watch the videos 2-3 times and I’m going through every single video on your channel to really learn and dive in so that I can grow. I’ve already done a session with coach Victoria and she was lovely! I look forward to meeting you soon!

How do you like The Creative Healing Course???

Yeah, same. I'm a FA as well, and my ex broke up with me after we talked about our future plans for our relationship. I didn't want to move in with him in his house that he had bought with his ex girlfriend (in which she would still get into without even knocking). Also, his house was 40 minutes away from my workplace, it didn't make sense to me. So yeah, at first he was open to relocate, but he later changed his mind. It seems very reasonable to me that she wanted them to get their own place.

10% is very high already

Oh, they are so good at living in the fantasy world, they like to dream about a future, but dont act on it. My mother, brothers and ex are all avoidants. My mother would often futurefake a better future for her family, but nothing ever came to fruition. It was easier to stay on the sofa, or date random guys. She always ran away from responsibility. Your future kids are better off. Responsibility lies heavy on their shoulders. My mom bitches and moans whenever I ask for a small favour, but she never pays when we are sharing costs in the family, she avoids a lot, and lets everybody else make sure things work out. So we are not in touch much anymore, it is so much work to spend time with her. She never reaches out, and when I do decide to visit her I need to buy coffee, food etc. She never has food in the house. So I just feel I need to spend 50-60 bucks each time, buying something. Often times when I am half way there she will call me and ask me to do shopping for her. so need to get off the subway, go to a shop and then get to her house. It is so annoying. She never visits me, is overly critical. and just pushing me and everyone away one moment, then feels sad and complain nobody talks to her.

That's weird. Have you posted anything or done anything to provoke this reaction. If not, I think that's him trying to get your attention.

​@@ConfidencePTI agree, unless she pestered him that sounds like projection to me on his part.

No I haven’t said nothing I gave him his break up / he calls about our daughter but before he lies about bringing things I’m sorry but we was together four years we have a porch if he wanna do for her be about it and show her she’s only 2

It may be you are being punished with silence.

@@camellia8625 u are probably right... tomorrow marks 4 month of silence

Yes they lie to get rid of you and you move on.

I've experienced the same. Finally gave up when I realized it was just hurting me with hope,...so I had to stop. Him just stringing me along with gifs or memes or remembrances while at the same time holding back. I could no longer take it BECAUSE my feelings for him never ended.

@@colleen5872 It's incredibly painful, right? I'm sure your ex and mine weren't intentionally trying to be cruel, but their behavior was cruel. It's hard for me to understand why they would do something like that. Would you say that your ex was emotionally immature? I think mine was. He also has very poor boundaries, and it makes it easy for him to disrespect other people's boundaries. It's like he doesn't understand what a boundary is. He also broke up with me very suddenly, 48 hours before the breakup he was talking about marriage and he couldn't shut up about how much he loved me. Then, I brought up my concerns about his mom moving it with him and he shut down completely. I don't think he really wanted the breakup, 2 days after he did it he texted me that he missed me and thought he may have done a mistake. I think he broke up with me because he chose his mother and he knew it wouldn't work out with me. Moving on is really hard... I cried for hours after I unfriended him.

​@@colleen5872hope you are ok Colleen. It's not giving up.. More like lifting yourself up. Be kind to yourself. What for you won't go by you. You sound like you have a BIG heart.. Nothing wrong and a lot right with that. Best wishes and good vibes. Pete

SAME!!

@@peternall6566 thanks Peter. Needed to hear this today. It gets,harder the older one gets. But need to plow forward💜

Same

We also help each other out with tasks in our lives but he never texts me. We still see each other daily because we work together so that's also why I'm scared to have this conversation and make it tense at work. I just wish I knew what he was thinking and how he feels about us.

It sounds like you have been demoted to FWB and I strongly suspect he is seeing someone else.

Yes ignore her.

@@KVG822 won’t she just walk away?

You wait for them to reach out first as much as possible. Make sure your ex initiates contact like 80% of the time.

@@beatitcreep. thank you for your reply, so my ex has reached out 5 times in 4 weeks no contact I can now reach out at least once and try and suggest a meet up

Same here. I disrespected my ex a few times, but I always apologized after. He broke up with me because he thought I was being disrespectful (which I wasn’t initially). But after the break up I was being disrespectful and begging for almost two weeks. I asked him to block me on everything so I highly doubt he’s coming back. He also loves to blame others for things he did. And him too was being disrespectful at some points of our relationship, but he downplays what he did. I know it’s been 6 months, but update?

What did you respond?

@@neerajgupta7532 i gave response to each paragraph/point she brought up. i was not overly eager or reactive, just genuine and with good intentions. i told her that i've had time to undertake accountability/clarity and i'm excited for the future, and that i want the same for her, and then i said let's stay in touch. she has not responded yet but she did accept my follow an followed me back on instagram.

What did you say in your response?

@@julesa2894 i gave a full, heartfelt and genuine response, and she responded with the same. looks like we're gona try to fix things. 3 months of crying every day. i do want to say though, whether things work out with her or not, we're not meant to rely on the other person to feel okay. the best path forward is to be secure in yourself regardless of your ex. move on, if they come back they come back, if not, someone else is out there for you but you HAVE to fight for it.

This very common. Shes dealing with emotions and feeling bad also. The lets be friends makes their decision easier... and doesn't make them feel so bad.

It's none of your business if he's not beating her , or made awful threats etc. Let your "daughter" become an adult

when a child is involved you probs shouldnt watch videos like this. if he was a decent guy at least let him visit/buy his daughter stuff but who am i to tell you what to do

@@fhmyn0 no problem but lies after lies i always make sure I’m not around when he come but all of a sudden he want to pop up

I wouldn’t trust him! How do you know he isn’t being paid for the video or that the video may end up on an adult site.