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“They say I hate argonians yet I own several. Your move liberal.” -Dagoth Ur (2023)

"Anyway, moral of this story is be a Dunme- You just picked Argonian after all that just to spite me, didn't you?"

"Uncle Dagoth, you can't say those things at the dinner table!" "That Mage's College is filling your head with progressive nonsense!"

Breton is for people who want to pick a magically attuned race without the mortifying ordeal of looking like you're in good standing with the Thalmor

I love that he doesn’t even review argonians as a playable race but as property to be acquired.

"A series of changes to local labor laws." Yes, that's what we'll call it

I like how he calls Argonians property then immediately follows it up with "Bigotry against the wood elves is distasteful." lol

I love how he literally just got finished telling you how it'd be better to pick a full magic race than a mix talking about Bretons before proceeding to praise dark elves for being able to do it all and that's why you need to be one

I've really gotten too comfortable with the unconscious idea that Dagoth is some novelty KZfaqr I just discovered. He went viral recently with an appearance on Joe Rogan and now I'm going through his old content. It's like he actually achieved chim.

The fact that Dagoth Ur knows the concept of french people is the only proof I need to confirm that he attained CHIM and is indeed a god

Yes they indeed need this education, good job n’wah

I really love how it's all in character for dagoth ur, but it's also presented as if he's talking about the elder scrolls series itself.

“How did trinimac become the daedric prince malacath you ask” whenever I try to get people into the elder scrolls I start with this sentence

Nords actually make a great mage race for the _very_ late game. Getting spell-reflected is a huge issue, but Nords can just use Frost magic to not nuke themselves with their own spells.

"Redguards, rumours are in circulation-" honestly had me sweatting for a moment there

It's sad how true the Redguard part is. They're about to get that Nord treatment.

“I’m not even about to justify this so called race of ‘drug addled cats’ with any real commentary.” Still laughing at this golden line

The delivery on "He was eaten and shit out by Boethiah" is so fucking good man.

Imperials: You dare skip us? I was looking forward to a witty take down of our people! Dagoth Ur: Next. Imperial: Insult us damn it! Dagoth Ur: I've moved on.

Dagoth Ur roasting the forsworn is the funniest shit

I love that description of the Nords, "Feared by those who can't just obliterate them with magic." Just ask the Snow Elves and how that worked out for them...oh wait, you can't.

I'm currently playing my very first playthrough of Oblivion and I'll say that I'm glad I picked Dark Elf because I couldn't imagine the frustration of dying from three scamp fireballs.

I kind of want to see a mod that adds Dagoth Ur in TES4 or TES5 as a quasi-companion where he'd just be a disembodied narrator being weirdly judgy about everything the player does. Freakish, Inigo/Lucien levels of world interaction (possibly with voice lines that interact with those two)

The high elf one reminds me of the Targaryens from Game of Thrones and all the other books. Because only in fantasy does inbreeding give you magic

Jesus would love an rpg where the villain mocks you during character creation.

As a nord main, everything he said was 100% accurate 😂

Sidenote, I just gave the prompt "Write Dagoth Ur's manifesto "The tyranny of the Gods"" into chatGPT and the result made me wonder if Dagoth Ur actually has its own AI. I am scared, but in a grand and intoxicating way. It began the text by saying "Below is a hypothetical manifesto written from the perspective of Dagoth Ur, titled "The Tyranny of the Gods".", and the entire text mass was filled with intoxicating grandness: The tyranny of the gods has lasted for too long. For millennia, we have been ruled by divine beings who are disconnected from our world and indifferent to our suffering. They have imposed their will upon us, and we have been powerless to resist. But no longer. I, Dagoth Ur, have seen the truth. I have discovered the Heart of Lorkhan, and I have harnessed its power. With this power, I will break the chains of the gods and create a new world, a world where mortals are not subject to the whims of divine beings. The gods claim to be benevolent and just, but their actions tell a different story. They have allowed war, famine, and disease to ravage our world. They have granted immortality to some, while leaving others to suffer and die. They have created a system of worship that favors the powerful and condemns the weak. They have established a hierarchy that values divine blood over mortal flesh. This is not justice. This is not fairness. This is tyranny. But it doesn't have to be this way. The Heart of Lorkhan has shown me a different path. It has revealed to me the power that mortals can wield, the power to shape the world according to our own will. With this power, we can create a society that values all life, that provides for all people, that offers hope to those who have none. The gods will resist, of course. They will see us as a threat to their power, and they will try to stop us. But we are not afraid. We have the power of the Heart, and we have the conviction of our beliefs. We will fight for what is right, for what is just, for what is true. Join me, mortals of Tamriel. Cast off the chains of the gods and embrace your own power. Together, we can create a new world, a world that is free from the tyranny of the divine. A world where mortals can flourish, and where the power of the Heart can be harnessed for the good of all. This is our time, our moment, our destiny. Let us seize it together. (Comment from "Bellow is a..." to the end is entirely written by ChatGPT)

Those takes -- specifically the ones about "Ragnar Lothbrook" and TES6 -- I couldn't have put it better myself. Well done.

Dunmer: *Appears* Dagoth: "--Finally some good fucking food."

I can’t believe he didn’t mention the dark elf’s biggest upside they are the best race to play. If you intend to play a vampire because their natural race bonus cancels out the natural negative debuff becoming a vampire so effectively you get all the upsides and none of the downsides it’s literally their best aspect.😂

The way Dagoth Ur says "lick your own nutsack" is the best thing ive ever heard

Breton. Atronach Stone. Magic Absorption in alteration tree and an armor spell. Boom. You are now 80%-100% immune to magic (depending on the dice roll) no enchantment slots required.

thank you lord dagoth, i will play as a khajit, as you instructed.

3:48 never before have i been so offended by something i one hundred percent agree with

I think I (we) have become part of Dagoth Ur's cult already. I Mean everyday I listen to a new Dagoth ur video for the feeling of intoxication upon what grand speech he has to make. Like a religion almost ...

The enthusiasm in the orc review was amazing

As an Orc main, you're not wrong. However, we're the only race to be viewed with any measure of respect to walk alongside Daedra; the Doomdriven clan. No matter how many times Orsinium is destroyed we always come back stronger! And we also have the best gourmet cooks, and it's a little known fact that Orc moms don't skimp on sugar! ;)

This put a big smile on my face. Great humor

I'm convinced, I'll play as a Dunmer next time. Sadly Tod doesn't care much for speech, otherwise the Imperials might actually be interesting.

Always played orc going full heavy armour two handed. If you're in trouble and need that extra boost go berserk mode and if they REALLY piss you off turn into your werewolf form and go on a murder spree for a few weeks. Ahhh never gets old.

"Because for some reason, everyone thinks they would have been Ragnar Lothbrok or someshit if they lived back then." Lol right?

I love how much fun we are having with this new ai voice generator

Really wish ES6 would take place in Black Marsh. That’d be fucking wild

Store-brand vikings got me

Love the nords but also love dunmer. They are super versatile and fit any play style

Glad to know that all those years ago when I was making my first ES character on Marrowind, I unbeknowingly chose the "Chosen Race" 😆

I was really hoping he would call the Wood Elves twinks

There are only three options to me: High Elf if you wanna look like a Chimer, Dunmer if you wanna be the modern continuation of the Chimer, Argonian if you want to be funny. (Consider the irony: the prized Nerevar has reincarnated as the most despised race in the province)

Yeah my first Morrowind playthrough was an argonian, I loved the irony of Nerevar being reincarnated as an Argonian and becoming hortator and arch master of House Redoran

This is looking mighty bad on your Aldmeri Dominion social credit score.

The Breton picture looks like he’s transitioning into a werewolf

After a night of partying your videos is what I need. This video was so funny please never stop making Dagoth Ur memes!

"Oh dear, the French people of Nirn." This writing is top tier

- Just be a dunmer - I've been a dunmer since my first step in Tamriel, sera

the amount of excitement in dagoth’s voice when explaining the creation of malacath is way funnier than it should be

3:57 damn, man. as truthfull as it might be, i really wasnt ready to hear that.

5:00 sad but true. The sword singers are going to be butchered if the next game is set in Hammerfell.

Breton+Student sign or whatever it's called = 180 starting mana while (almost) all your spells are quite useful. Yeah, you lose your magic resistance but who cares. Buy yourself some heavy armour, get to Balmora and learn to summon a two-handed axe + bow. Boom. Easiest start in the entirety of TES series. #Bretonpower #Bretonsuperiority #VivalaHighRock

"Be a Dunmer" I am honored, that Dagoth Ûr himself approves of my characters choices!

Bretons get that Magical resistance thats pretty good. They are pretty generic with the whole medieval royalty vibes but I do like the Direnni = nobility lore.

I haven't laughed that hard in a while 😆 ty so much for the video

Dagoth's got a point about Dunmer, though -- these guys makes the best assassins, especially when you add vampirism into the mix. A 25% boost to Illusion spell power & detection avoidance while sneaking, 100% immunity to disease and frost AND all the powers that come with vampirism and the vampire lord form? That build is very, *very* OP when you put in the maximum amount of investment.

“Nords - sexiness + incest = orcs” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

This genuinely made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I'm surprised I haven't discovered this channel sooner. Well done, you gained a new subscriber.

The respect Dagoth Ur has for his farm tools is pretty stark one is reliable and hardy while the other is catnip and furballs.

Dagoth Ur my N'wah thanks for this comprehensive and compelling breakdown

Breton under the apprentice sign kicks ass. All the upsides (a heap of magicka) and no downsides (weakness to magicka is basically neutralised)

He's so real about the es6 thing lol

I like how he actually has some respect for the Redguards.

This video was HILARIOUS! I was laughing out loud dude, the writing is on PAR!! Keep making these please 😂

Thanks this really helped me pick my race for my next playthrough in Morrowind.

To be fair...this guys sarcasm and beautiful bluntness, with no pulled punches...is my cup of tea. Or coffee.

I've always tended to pick Dunmer in every Elder Scrolls game. They are great mix of magic and warrior skills and their world in Morrowind just blew my mind. My second choice is Argonian. Next Elder Scrolls game should be setted in Black Marsh and based on slave raids that Dunmers take on Argonians. It would be great setting in swamps and deep woods with Dunmer's raid parties chasing slaves all around and Argonian's guerilla resistance.

Imagine not picking the glorious scaly bois. What's not to love about mysterious lizard folk who can breathe water, are practically immune to disease, have an affinity for healing magic and light fingers and feet. Not to mention their lore and their bond to the hist trees. And if memory serves, they pushed back into oblivion from a gate cause they can apparently super charge themselves with hist voodoo should the need arise. I hope we get a game set in argonia some day.

I adore the Oblivion race portraits, especially the Bretons

I picked an Argonian in my first ever Morrowind playthrough, since then I never picked any other. It just feels right!

I like how dagoth insulted every race but dunmer and redgaurd. He doesn't wanna be canceled

Any time I choose a race other than Redguard with the Steed sign, I regret forgetting to enable the run faster mod

I'm surprised how many people don't know how savage and voracious wood elves are.

The writing on this is pretty stellar. Good job

I applaud you for comming up with this, just genius roflmao !

As someone who picked a Nord as their first character in all mainline games, accurate. I am pale, illiterate, and get angry when I see an elf tossing magic at me. Especially those filthy, tall, *disgusting* Altmer.

4:32 he suddenly gets Vaushed

I thoroughly appreciate that Ur always drags my favorite race through the mud

I feel like Dagoth genuinley cares when he is telling us these things, speaking to us in such a relaxed manor as he is. He is a good guy, a swell fellow and I hope absolutely nothing goes wrong for him in his lifetime...

Through my experience with elder scrolls lore, especially eso, I've found that I as an ever proud Nord, spend most of my time studying Khajit and Dunmer culture. This makes house parties a little awkward, but I manage

Wait but there are no sword singers still alive, I'm pretty sure it's a forgotten art

Dagoth ur knows best

Second-hand Nord compliment right there daggy. 4:47

4:27 N'wah be speaking facts

Damn, that Nord one hits deep. I'm of Swedish descent and I sometimes do that, nice burn.

Your good bro! Love your content!

I do worry for the lore of sword singing though if ES6 is in hammerfell Cause it's badass to be able to manifest an ever changing weapon from the "song" your fucking soul makes, and have it evolve with you. Absolutly rad

The nord one felt personal

the noise he makes when the argonian comes up made me actually laugh out loud

0:32 Oh... the farm tools.

worth his weight in divinity lmao

Superior Dunmer: Conquered by the Empire and then occupied with a small and underequipped legion. Gets horribly mauled by daedra during the Oblivion crisis, thinks that's a good time for a civil war. Inferior Argonians: Empire only ever able to settle border areas of Black Marsh, legions sent inland get slaughtered. Immideately unites during the Oblivion crisis, slaughters daedra invaders so badly they invade Oblivion and daedra have to close their Black Marsh portals to stop the beat down.