y'all dating downwards upwards or sideways?

Idc if she has a point or not, but exposing ur loved one to the whole world and saying that he is of lower caliber (which i interpret it as “inferior”) is just plain rude bruh. What i dont understand is, she talks about how mindset, attitude and character are the most impt to her, yet she keeps yapping about her bf’s educational level and MONEY.

She’s the definition of materialistic girl and the guy is a definition of a simp. Perfect for each other, until she found someone more rich.

She says money isn’t impt but everything is about money to this woman. Every analogy, example, expectations to life is money, money and more money

The guy improved so much in one year...but did she also improve that much in the same period of time? The guy could now be the one dating downwards.

Why would you talk about your partner like this to the whole internet? Her man sounds like a great guy who deserves better than her. He should know that he doesn't have to be with someone who called him "lesser caliber". That's just plain rude and demeaning. From the guy's own video, he seems oblivious himself. But I hope he can realise one day. As for the girl, the fact that it took her this experience of "dating downward" to know that people of "lesser earning power/no degree" can be this good, says a lot more about her as a person. How about just being a decent human being? Gross all around.

This toxic mentality of dating up or down has existed many years ago. Being in a healthy relationship means having empathy and empowering each other, not putting each other down. Unfortunately some have relationships for all the wrong reasons and treat it as some power dynamic, increased social standing, FOMO, etc. This is precisely the reason why divorce rates are on an increasing trend. Remember, learn how to identify red flags and nip it in the bud before it festers and becomes a bigger headache down the road.

Love the subtle dig at her pronunciation of “basically” at 10:51

5:46 mother only realises he’s the best now cause he has doubled his earning power or what

One seems manipulative, and the other one seems delulu. I am genuinely curious how would their relationship would turn out in 10 years time.

After he revealed himself.... ya they deserve each other...

Bro got hold at gun point LOL

Friends, please be fucking normal 😭 what is dating downwards, be so fucking forreal rn

lmao. the chick is just humble bragging she had the foresight to date someone with a lower salary whom later worked hard in his career (thanks to her investment). Should have changed her title to "How to train your man to his fullest potential"

would have been more interesting if she 'dated downwards' and changed her own mentality to not spend so much and be satisfied with caipeng and genki sushi, instead of pressuring her bf to provide for her, and if she actually realized that money is not everything. instead of being so happy that she made her bf acclimatise to her high SOL and she now all the money to spend on all the crap she likes. i dunno. seems like the wrong takeaway.

she communicates that she's entitled af. i couldn't date someone like that.

If he did not double his income and match her pay, would she still have posted about her relationship? It sounds kinda selfish and one-sided to let him pay for everything just because now he is earning the same as her. Relationship is a 2-way street and it is about give and take. Anyway, people can be dating doctors and lawyers and still be in a happy and fulfilling relationship. Just because anecdotally she dated downwards and she's happy doesn't mean that people who are dating upwards are unhappy. Actually they have very similar vibes - they are of the same caliber la! Maybe she's just hoping to go viral with a controversial post - I mean look at the deliberate way they posed for the picture, especially the guy's facial expression and I guess she has succeeded - so the joke's on us 😅

The boyfriend’s vid looks scripted as hell 😭

Society is so poisonous now.. dating is about love, now we need to consider all these materialistic stuff. Anyway my BF have to love me, that's all!

If a woman tell you she is dating downwards when she is with you, just run away. She means she earn more and more capable than you. When you next time, you are earning more or more capable, she will say she see your potential that is why she dated downwards. Please is just another way of telling others she is good and desirable and have a good heart.

the ''basically'' got me rofl

The quote should be “ date someone who can give you everything he have rather than someone who can buy you everything you want.”

I think her point is love is more than just money, but she worded it SO BADLY, and the way she keep talking abt income & earning power...... Really just draws attention away from the point she's trying so hard to make. Maybe get her story checked by chatgpt first b4 posting? And the upward, downwards, sideway, what in the google maps direction.... It just shows that she not treating her partner as her equal. lmao, ultimately i feel she just made that very first post to show the world how good her love life is going on :-D it's really not that deep, she wasnt posting to give some love advice, she just wanted to show off HER love life.... Well, it's making me laugh 😅😅😅

The bigger question is how certain power dynamics have ruined relationships that the only solution is being with someone who doesn’t haunt you.

Nothing has changed.... now he pays for everything........ and now i have more money to spend..... Ridiculous

I get what she mean. But saying you are dating downwards is such a toxic way of saying things. You can just say "despite how much he earns, I love his personality then all is good". Saying you are dating downwards is like trying to manipulate the guy emotionally. I know she is not doing it on purpose. But I feel like it is kind of a form of emotional manipulation to make the guy feel inferior and in a way telling him that he can't get a woman better than you. And saying all this is really a bad advice for woman, woman should not date down because it is easier, this will make them become resentful if they are expecting some form of lifestyle but the BF cannot provide it, and this will become very toxic. They should date whoever they want, and don't make this like some sort of game to minmax relationship. I wonder if the guy's income didn't grow like how it did, will the author still be with him.

Haha, sounds like the mother taught her to be so toxic

Didn't expect this to be so funny XD Definitely the increased the entertainment value of the already entertaining topic.

The way you enunciated "basic-ally" the way she did sent me 😂

Best example of tell the world you're a gold digger without saying you are a gold digger lol

As a man pov, i don't think i would like it when my partner shared that our relationship " dating downwards " just because i earn lesser than her like c'mon why must label the relationship like tat ? Why cannot just date for the sake of dating like out of love from following ur heart ? Why must label up/down/sideways dating ? Lol ?!

To that guy: Blink in morse code if you really need help, we're here for you.

She only dated down because the guys in the "up" didn't wanna date down (her).

Yes, talk about how personality is everything by basing their foundation on comparing on how much both of them earn, and still talk about how much they can spend now since he is earning more 👍👍👍 its great to date down

reading her post was genuinely so unbearable

I think what she's trying to say is that dedication/ sincerity is more important than income. Which is actually positive, because so frequently when you hear people talk about their ideal partners they list off superficial traits (e.g. looks, height, wealth, status). Not that I really blame people for being superficial about money, as Singapore's such an expensive city to live in, but that's another topic. Commentors are pretty sensitive, she's isn't dissing him, she's simply stating that he used to make less than her; an insult would be saying if people of lower income are gross/ insert other negative adjectives.

Dating downward is not much a Western men's issue. It is more a Western women's concern. But in Asian families, they always push to date upward. Never downward. However the dating upward's expectation has a list of vanity, materialistic, and selfishness. It's hard to have a successful relationship with dating upward.

There is some nuance in dating downwards for women, because what SG women want is to some degree is an attractive simp, because if he is like an attractive chad that has everything going for him Job, Car, Wealthy Family, he could have other physical traits Lean, Tall, Fair Complexion, then he may have too much power in the relationship as more SG women desire that hence he could bail out anytime, lets face it she may not be the prettiest one but there is also growing competition withing her social circle to find someone better for her to climb the social-ladder of her friend group, every SG woman wants to also have a trophy boyfriend to show her friends "this is my boyfriend, See i am happy, and you should be for me" If he didnt check all the boxes then hes less likely to be desired by other women so he is more likely to stay in the relationship or at least work things out. Not all SG women will end up with someone that they see in a K-Drama film, and i think women shld understand that early. Like she as mentioned in the video she has experience dating someone of higher status than her, most women in SG after they date upwards (Hypergamy) they dont wanna go back down, as they think relationships will get better and the guy MUST be better, to SG women every guy is like a Samsung or iPhone u only upgrade your phone never downgrade. Just remember every guy and woman is unique qualities and traits cannot be replicable between previous man or woman. A man may have these traits A, B and C, and if a woman decides to break up with him, she would expect the new guy to now have traits A,B,C and probably D and E because she wants an upgrade otherwise she may feel she is losing out, the paradox of choice lives with those in power when you are exposed to more choices in a dating app u always want to know if u have felt u made the right choice hence waiting to see every option. Its no surprise that marriage and birth rates are on the decline, more women are now into management fields, taking up degrees to earn more money and compete with men in more ways than one, hence they may feel they have a say in a relationship, our mothers/grandmothers were not as educated as our fathers as they may be more encourage to be home-makers or at least take up jobs that didnt require a demand for the type of education certificates presented. I still live by the truth that SG woman can always replace an SG man, because theres always a simp waiting to catch her when she falls, for the man its different you have to find a way to survive

she's just waiting for the next one, both mother and daughter have same thinking.

looks wise she is definitely dating upwards, poor guy

There is no upwards or downwards…..all are equal in love…..if there is even a notion of upwards downwards then this will creep up when couples quarrel….

So now that he earns more than her, he's basically dating downwards. So is she going to start paying for everything now like he did and try to double her income? With this whole dating downwards, subtly forcing him to pay for more expensive restaurants than Genki, and now enjoying the fruits of having him earn more than her, it almost sounds like she was grooming him.

Waa gg these 2 really deserve each other 😆

Wah she really needs to get off her high horse. I know many people without degrees but are good family men. She seems to be too fixated on money and status, and her video speaks volumes about her character. It's as if she sees the value of her partner only in monetary terms. So, had he not been able to double his earning power within a year, despite being of good character, she would have thought lesser of him. This idea of dating down needs to go. I hope the best for them tho!

the sole fact that she said downwards is already an immediate red flag and disrespect to her partner.

At least it seems like they are happy and all. But her point was kinda lame since. She basically said dating down was the right choice be it eventually became dating up. So.....

i love your singaporean accent! very charming

weird couple for sure but then again, with how sg youths are like....

The main message was that education and salary can improve. They aren't permanent and can change for the better.

You’re entire commentary made me laugh so much! ! My question to this lady is who TF even asked her for an explanation?!?! Because sis is trying to prove a point that nobody cares for.

good for them and I'm guessing she had good intentions for her video, but damn what type of friends does she have? When I started dating my gf, neither of us knew or bothered to ask about our finances or salary or whatever, none of my friends asked about it too. my parents also didnt give a single fuck, if we love each other that's all - and shouldn't that be the norm? Since when were relationships about money or education lol

10:51 HAHAHA I EXPECTED THIS

Blows my mind that she's okay with him spending all his money on her and then her spending her money on her as well.

Dating downward=dating like before internet, for love.

Good ol "Comparison is the thief of joy."

It is easy to bring others up if you yourself are high and powerful enough. So if you value overall compatibility in all areas rather than just status compatibility alone you can actually give yourself a wider dating pool to explore. After all Singapore is very small and too many people are too overly meritocratic and self serving if not outright jerks to begin with. Your life partner is to be with you for a lifetime. You might as well search more carefully and wisely for the right one instead.

Wise man told me dating with your own SES now it's called dating downward lmao

bro is just sad, you can see how much he gaslit himself

I’m not surprised by the lying about salary. It’s a scary world out there. You don’t know who you’re going to piss off on a bad day.

new to the yeolo-verse, what is yap-enis?

Everything in Singapore is competitive.

It’s really something new

that's such a sad social phenomenon, also, your accent is quite endearing.

Saw the thumbnail and thought he was dating down lmfao 😂

Her definition dating is literally like whether or not the stock market is in a bull or bear market 😭😭😭

when u start with the terms - dating with the sport, it's already defeats the original intent of dating which is to find the best partner for the life ahead. so whether u date up , down or sideways doesn't really matter coz you already got the fundamental intent wrong

The guy deserves someone better.

How old are these too?

You want standard living but cannot keep up standard upward requirement lol this gal

Nothing wrong here. Those two seem perfect for each other. They're not terribly sophisticated. One is in love with money, the other is in love with sex. It is as Darwinian as it gets. That said, it is worth pointing that the couple is young and they may evolve with time. Humans want different things during different times of their lives, and this seems developmentally appropriate for their age. I'd be more concerned if this keeps up till retirement age, where one is still obsessed with money while the other obsessed with sex. Most people want more companionship as they age and 'dating upward, downwards, or laterally' probably won't factor into their equations. I think what most people are uncomfortable about here is the cringe associated with the delivery of the message. They're not wrong about young people prioritizing money and sex, but they just went about it in a weird way. Try looking beyond that and you'd see quite a cute couple, well, at least to me.

It's difficult for a Malaysian Chinese like me to date a Malaysian Chinese girl since I only pass Spm. I think for moment now Malaysian Chinese girls prefer either Singaporean, Korean or Japanese men. It's because most capable ones have migrate to Singapore.

Delulu couple 😅

Hi Yeolo, I started to follow you because of your thoughts of the video about the girl that looks down on guy that bring her to lau pa sat and make that vomit sound. I agree with your thoughts. But this video i got a different opinion. From this video i learn that i am a downward guy. I am 40 years old now and drawing fresh graduates pay. It is very hard for downward guy like me to find a date here in singapore. I feel that she is speaking up for people like me and i think they are a happy couple. Just leave them alone and give them their blessings.

Caliber is a very vague term, yes. In sociology, the word would be ‘habitus’.

6:18 Haha it definitely feels like a maths word problem but I get it.

People are dating? 😅😅😅

just how not confident they both are and need to do a video like this lol

BUDDY THE MINUTE I SAW HIM ISTG HE'S DATING DOWNWARDS THAN UPWARDS SJHSOLGNLSJGSJG;

She makes it sound like she’s unique about dating “down”. Like I don’t look for a partner based on their education and income, if we get along and are lifestyle is compatible then its fine. It’s not something I think most people think about. I don’t expect to be relying on a guy. We rely on each other

Did anyone told you that you look like Taiwan singer Terry Lin ( 林志炫 )? 😅

What she means in a nutshell from writing this whole thing "He's just a placeholder, and I feel like walking out the door"

10:24 Yeah, and when men are conditioned to sideline intimacy, be the only breadwinner as ‘high status’ man, regardless of women as conquests and casually drop the word ‘ugly’, is that not toxic? Toxicity should be called out across the board and not just towards an individual.

I kinda get her point. She definitely didn't mean to shame her bf. Nowdays everyone has such crazily high standards in dating : good-looking, money, car, house, degree, wealthy family etc. She's trying to raise awareness that sometimes the best love you need does not necessarily come from all that.

The fact that theres dsting downware included in girls math says a lot

What does "Think is"..." mean? Is that a Singaporean slang or something?

I feel like a lot of Singaporeans just go around sizing everyone up and deciding their worth and then use that as a cudgel to hit other people over the head with. Don't like it.

The girl is a red flag from the beginning 😂

Wish them the best of luck in their relationship.

Honestly, who are these people sharing life/love wtv advice?

** basi-ker-lly **

Yall saying that she disrespect her bf. But ironically the bf doesn't even respect himself 🤣🤣

Not only let me make you feel like absolute crap by constantly reminding you I'm dating downwards, let me also post it online for millions to see. Given that option I rather die alone .

nooo not the basi-curly

Games of control 😂

IDK about you but every single time words appeared on the screen for this video my middle finger had an immediate and untamable reaction for going up. Don't get me wrong, my caliber is significantly beyond hers, and if she were a winchester .308, I would at least be a .338 Lapua Magnum.

if the only problem was 'could have been worded better' then should yhe average person really have access to the internet?

Is this really surprising? It is just how a lot of women think when they're not sugar coating or being pc but has always been reflected in how they date. I'm a man, with a lot of female friends. I've heard about everything you can about how they view men. It is the nature of growing up in a patriarchal society that they expect you to live up to. Either when they met you, or the potential to rise above them. An "investment" as one in the video put it. I always share that even the most progressive EU countries have stigmas about stay at home dads. I want to be clear that not all women subscribe to it but it would be disingenuous to say a majority don't, especially in Asian society. The infamous "rather cry in the back of a BMW than happy on the back of a bicycle" saying came from us. Well more specifically said by women and never men. I'll paint two scenarios I've encountered commonly. Dated a girl for a while, lied I was having issues with money. She left soon after thinking she was "better than me". Another was with other successful women. I make good money too but if they made more they reactively deflated or wanted to help me make more than them (again referring to "potential"). It'll take real hard social shifts before men aren't expected to be providers in the same fashion women aren't expected to be the sole home maker.

I think if she doesn’t mind his bac, she would not need to justify it over the internet

I am fluent in Yappanese too. We are valid.

I only date in non-Euclidean directions