Its not really working 3 jobs if the total hours were the same or less than a full-time job. She was asking her daughter to work 30-40, not 15. It's doable by anyone who is not in school or has other full-time commitments. I work 46-50 hours a week and still have time to maintain a relationship, play video games and watch youtube vids, and most importantly get a good night's sleep.

I have mixed feeling about this. When I heard the caller mention 3 jobs, my first thought was, why not encourage more hours at the first job? These people act like martyrs working all their jobs when the jobs might conflict with each other and putting more time/effort into the first job may be more manageable. But perhaps I have gone out on a tangent. My real point is there is a happy medium. 30 hours a week while going to school full time is going above and beyond and should be recognized as such, not considered the bare minimum. While going to school, 15-20 hours a week is a realistic expectation. While not going to school, working 15 hours a week is not ambitious at all. 40-50 hours a week is a realistic expectation. It’s like the girl went from one extreme to the other. She started out doing more than necessary and then did a complete 180. Maybe you’re right-she’s burnt out. Perhaps she needs to make the mistakes to learn. At least at 19 she has time to fix these mistakes, however she will probably live with the regret for a while, wondering how much further ahead she may have been. Some mistakes are painful though.

While I listened to this, I started spewing my thoughts before I finished the video and my have failed to really listen. I may have missed some things. Like this daughter is giving up a scholarship to follow this boy to his collage? If that’s true, as a Mom myself, my response to my daughter would be “H3ll to the no!” While working fewer hours isn’t ambitious if she can learn to be happy with a very modest lifestyle who are we to judge, but to take on more student loans than necessary, especially with the intent of working less, that is dumb! This girl will end up like the boyfriend of another caller who was 36, made only 30K a year and had over $60K in student loans plus a car payment. And seemed content with that! But the caller wasn’t and was considering breaking off an engagement.

happygoluky2 Would you husband expect you to give up a scholarship in order for you to be closer to him? Or would he make due with a long distance relationship while making plans to move close to you once you are both done with school? This boyfriend is being immature and selfish. That’s not love or anything that has the foundation to last 20 years.

She is talking about studying when she means thirty hours a week

I've met parents who loved to brag about that "Oh well my daughter works so hard, she has 3 jobs." Meanwhile her daughter works 3-6 hours a week at each job, and the jobs are just cashiers at a gym and bowling alley. I feel its more a status to pretend you have more, when in fact you have less.

No, she kicked her out for not SEEKING to work more than 15 per week during the summer. I thought that part was made quite clear.

That mum is an absolute sociopath. And I'm not throwing that around lightly.

Mom needs to chill smh 🤦‍♂️

@@ZombieProdigyUS The daughter is saying she'll move in with boyfriend, go to his college and give up her scholarship. That's concerning. Is she expecting parents to make up the difference in tuition?

Dr phil is psychiatrist vs dave ramsey a host.

Yep...that's what my parents can say about me...didn't stop my dad from yelling at me about every little thing though all through my high school years and even as an adult, he has yelled at me about silly stuff.

Yep I very much had the same reaction any kid would know that those statements are suspicious if parents really think that is possible they are being delusional

The mother control the whole family . Good luck on that one . How the daughter suppose to get to work with no car. If the boyfriend is bad the daughter will see it soon .

So much wrong with this comment. You dont understand the meaning of unreasonable if that’s what you think she’s being.

Wouldn’t surprise me if mom worked zero hours and bleats about how busy she is as a housewife despite her kids being grown up

They pushed her to insanity by asking her to work more than 15 hours a week? Jesus you are a snowflake. It was summer time. She can work full time. And she didn't run away, she was asked to leave because she didn't pay her own way. Watch again and listen carefully.

@@jamesp6209 do you have any idea how stupid you sound

You are right James! We are finding some incredibly stupid comments on this video! 🐴🐴

JEFFREY WILSON MESSER. Think about it. That girl is an adult now. there is no good reason why she needs to prioritize spending time with her boyfriend over working to get ahead.

@@Jemgirlyi would call that being human but i don't think you know what that means lol

@@derekeubanks2717 I agree 100%

agree 100% as well. Boyfriend sounds like big future regret. Guarantee it.

Summer Rose the boyfriend has done nothing wrong. She’s pushing her daughter away into the boyfriends arms.

Derek Eubanks if that’s how you feel about relationships I hope you’re single

I didnt grow up with one friend who was allowed to work only 15 hours per week on summer break. Not one.

@@staceystrukel1917 how many of them still speak to their parents?

@@imtiazferdous2886probably all because they were set up for life with a good work ethic and less debt. My parents did the same and thank god because it meant I had so much less debt and I had a better summer because I could actually afford to do so much stuff. You act like students working over summer is a bad thing. Most of those people who didn’t have to work while at college who I know are still living in debt 10 years later. Letting your child live off debt for years at college is letting them ruin their life in the future because it will take them years of suffering to get out of that hole (if they ever do that is because those people often end up thinking debt of normal so never get out of it)

K Henderson 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Exactly. Mom sounds like an overbearing dictator, not a loving mom.

The daughter´s own agency is also problematic, she should´ve just told her mom and her boyfriend she´ll do as she pleases with the loan and the jobs.

miltoncat Y'all are crazy. So y'all would just let her work those 15 hrs and lose a scholorship and take out loans. Cool.

@@sebas8225 Thats fine, but then they want their car back.

So she's an adult now and should be LESS responsible ? She should do it on her own dime then.

@@danieldoucet9121 👏

@@danieldoucet9121 then she should treat her adult daughter as that, AN ADULT, and that means not being controlling

@@dogguy8603 I agree to a point but it must be incredibly hard to watch her kid behave that way. To get anywhere in life a person needs to aim pretty high theses days.

the problem with dave is that his forte is financial advice and not psychology

I mean if he was stopping her from working to earn more to spend more time with him, that’s a bit selfish

@@calebakinfolarin8941 yeah I agree

Parents said work full time. Daughter complies until new boyfriend comes along. New boyfriend says work much less than full time and spend your summer with me. Parents don't want to pony up for daughter with unmet expectations. Are you saying that they should? If you are, I'd love to meet your daughter and any cute employees you may have.

@@calebakinfolarin8941 It is also a definite red flag as far as emotional immaturity. If he’s a healthy and emotionally mature adult then he’ll be happy for her to be making wise choices and building a solid foundation for her future. Saying something like “Wow your working full-time? I’m not sure if we’ll be able to have much fun this summer.” That shows he needs to grow up. Most adults work full time and shockingly enough the entertainment sector hasn’t gone out of business. 40 hours a week leaves plenty of time for other activities and will help set her up for a brighter future. If he’s more concerned with “having fun” then having a good future, then she should probably dump this kid. I’m not trying to be mean but he’s not emotionally mature enough to be dating. You need to want what’s best for yourself and want what’s best for your partner. If you care more about short-term pleasure instead of long-term happiness then that’s a short coming that has to be worked on.

Losing her scholarship is a big deal

Ya but she will prob be reaching out asking for money and at that point I would say "sorry this is your mess".

She's going to be in that one way or another? Why? It's hard to see her being in bed while on scholarships plus working 30 hours a week or 40 hour weeks in the summer. I was doing that as a student and I would take 2 weeks off and I will go to party in southern europe. I don't really see the reason to have 3 months off to have a good time. And stressed about that. Also it doesn't look like she has 3 months off rather than 3 months of working part-time which probably won't allow her to do much traveling anyways

Yes, she is a human not a robot, and needs time to think and grow, like the books think and grow rich...that is hard if you are overworked, this happened to me and I developed intense health problems that I never recovered from, working long hours to please my parents and not being able to have any energy left for school, got a BA only before my body collapsed.

100% spot on, parents expected me to work 60 hours a week and go full time for engineering, guess who barely got by

Laura Eskins Art Vlog it possible she did burn out. The parent's aren't listening or even asking. They are demanding

I agree. Shes worked hard and what's wrong with taking a summer off? This is probably the only time in her life she could just have a nice, easy summer. Once she enters the work force, she can't be a kid anymore so let her be one now. This makes me so sad

Some parent's are so controlling good luck!

Then she gets no more money. Same result, buddy. If she is financially dependent on her parents, they do have a say.

JustATotalNerd she’s not. She took out loans

@@JustATotalNerd From the sound of the story, besides the car she isnt at all. So you're wrong about this one.

@@JustATotalNerd TRUE!!!

She gave birth to her daughter, she should always have a say in her daughter's life.

Sonie Maikami the story can take any turn cheating leaving or getting bored of someone can ruin this story it’s not hard

I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up being the son-in-law also I'm pretty sure they pushed her can move closer to him I mean the way I look at it she probably feels like she doesn't have family support but for sure she has his support so why not change college and moved by him instead of the family saying why don't you invite this guy over so we can get to know what I'm if it's getting serious and maybe supporting her but I don't know I have a daughter that's going to be 13 this month so I'm sure I'll find out the hard way these things hahaha

Uh.... did anyone actually listen to he video - or are you all just responding to the title. Your story proves her method could work - you took economic responsibility and started working....that’s what the parents were hoping for.

🤦 rewatch the video!

Sonnie your relationship with your parents was never the same?? it's your parents! And they did what they thought was best, now grow up and get over it!

MissCofia33 sure you have to let kids make mistakes… But that doesn't mean you have to financially support those mistakes. As long as she is not acting like an adult and paying for her own life, the parents have a say. They have been the ones financially supporting her decisions.

It's all fun and games until she gets pregnant, drops out, and the guy bails on her. There's good reason to be concerned.

There was nothing said to suggest she's in a situation that she will get pregnant and the guy will leave her. Everything else her mom said reflected positively on her work ethic. Women are best able to have children in their 20s, and there's a good chance that a boyfriend she sticks with her in these years could end up becoming her husband. Is it better that women live their whole reproductive lives in fear of getting knocked up because it *might* delay their time line in building their office job career? How will anyone have kids ever in that case?

The boyfriend is more controlling than the Mom in this case. It sounds like he pressured her into working only 15 hours a week so they could see each other more. He doesn’t seem concerned that she is giving up a scholarship to move closer to him. Now I think working 30 hours a week while going to high school is going above and beyond and unless she is in a desperate financial situation is over kill. I think high school kids should work no more than 20 hours a week during school and at least 30 hours but ideally 40-50 during summer break. She may be rebelling because she is burnt out.

MissCofia33 you’re not supposed to have fun before or in college. That’s when you’re supposed to be working harder than ever. The fact that she has a boyfriend is ridiculously stupid in itself, but only working 15 hours a week and using your own parents fuel to drive to your boyfriends house? That’s beyond incomprehensible. The parents are going to have to intervene if only to prevent her from suffering and dying.

You need to rewatch the video again

I agree with you. Maybe they should ask her to work 20-25 hours a week if the one job allowed it but if not oh well. It's just for a couple of months anyways

They kicked her out because she was capable of working her own weight and she didn't do it. They gave her a chance. Just because you do well and get a scholarship doesn't mean your parents should have to pay for your housing and car. And she's not "kissing them off", shes abusing the gift of a free car by visiting her boyfriend instead of working for her own way, which was the deal.

@@codyh9155 The car is not a gift though. It's still "their" car. That car is a being used as a controlling tool. I have had it happen to me plenty of times.

@@shannon2748 Its use is a gift, under the stipulation she doesn't make poor decisions with it. If she uses it to make poor decisions, they want it back. Pretty cut and dry.

@@codyh9155 if that's where it ended I would agree with you, but they made it clear they intend to take everything and still try to have a say, which makes it pretty clear to me that the support was just a tool to control.

Your so right, just the way this mother talks is overbearing. Her daughter is an adult, yet her mom tell Dave "she decided" as if she is a toddler who shouldn't be making her own decisions. She is an adult, let her learn from HER mistakes. Jeez this girl needs a break from all the micro managing.

ITA. Mom doesn't like the boyfriend.

I wish my parents had the mindset

I disagree. I’ve been working full time and going to college the entire time and I’ve accumulated 0 student loan debt and have a 3.8 GPA. People just need to put the work in.

@@MP-qf5gg ez major

I don’t know i worked full time while taking about 18 credits for some time. Obviously it’s not something you can do in the long run and it’s not easy but it’s doable. 15 hours isn’t much

Edwin Ortiz Yeah, Organic Chemistry, A&P, EMT and Paramedic school are pretty easy. Lol.

Like right. The college transfer is dumb but these parents are insane on that 2 to 3 jobs

She's only getting 15 hours in the one she is on and it is summer, so she's not in school.

@@littlehousepineywoods5352 So what give her a break. It really shouldn't be a big deal to give her a break for a couple of months as long as she goes back to her hard working self

@@JohnAlcott238 They aren't insane, its summer, and three 15 an hour a week jobs is 45 hours a week, pretty standard. Thats called paying your own way.

@@codyh9155 while studying dude. Yes that is insane

Love doesn't pay the bills

First boyfriend in college? They'll be broken up within a year. Also, love doesn't pay the bills.

@@CK-op7ho We are not giving the details on University she is moving too or that she applied for more scholarships

The mother or the family whatever you want to call it obviously have a value system. And the daughter is not living up to the valley system right now. As simple as that doesn't really make a difference if you agree with that value system or not

No but transferring to a different college and giving up your scholarship will

@@henpupb While giving up scholarship money to move colleges is probably a pretty bad idea, it seems this only came up after they threw her out for not working enough. By throwing her out they've pushed her to take out a loan, which means she's crossed a psychological threshold which makes it easier to take out more loans (eg to move colleges and replace scholarship). My guess is they've made things much worse for both her future and their relationship with her, not better. It's hard to tell from a short telling of once side, but the 30hrs/week throughout high school gives a lot of flavour to this IMO.

henpupb she transferring to get away from the mom

So if she only works 15 hours a week... who is supposed to pay for her room and board? And her car? Let me guess, her parents... She is an adult, and many, MANY college students work 30 hours a week year round. They were simply asking she work more during the SUMMER. The SUMMER. She could easily work 30-40 hours a week during the summer and still have plenty of time with her boyfriend. Thats called paying your own way, and using the gift of your parents free car to work more, not visit your boyfriend more.

James you're one of the few people around here that makes sense! A college student is not entitled to sit around and be lazy if it means someone else will have to pick up their slack or it means they have to go into debt to make up for it.

@@jamesp6209 The SUMMER. The SUMMER.

What characteristic makes one a boomer? It’s just a generation you know.

@@linjubar If you share a good level of wisdom, you’re a boomer. If you pay you’re on bills with money you earned, you’re a boomer. If you don’t like putting up with entitled grownup children, you’re a boomer. Many 35 year olds wear that title proudly.

That, You just outed yourself.

@@linjubar being entitled thinking that they are somehow "strong" even after growing up incredibly privileged compared to today's economic climate, boomers are the weak men who made bad times

The bf lives with his mother and works part time and is trying to make the daughter have the same values

dog guy The kind who knows their child is capable of doing so and still graduate with honors apparently.

Pay your own way, or leave. This is how you raise an adult. Letting them stay without paying their way is how you end up with 30 year olds living at home. Pay your own way, thats all they asked.

I'm sure it's not an ideal call for him either.

Funwithnine Thing is, they didn't think about it. I'm sure they thought this show of power would result in their child cowering back into their grasp. Children need to learn by experience too.

She didn't plan or make any financial moves to help her daughter. And she probably expects stellar academic performance on a full-time job. No 18-year-old can pay college tuition fully. That is where Dave is completely unrealistic, the parents have some responsibility here.

Jill McEvoy You're right. Totally unrealistic and cruel to a child already doing well beyond what most that age do.

The mother didn't drive the daughter into the arms of a young man - hormones did.

@@elizagaskell7957 not really, the mother kicked her out because she didn't like that her adult daughter was being independent and maby didn't want to work their entire summer

Jimmy Delaware After listening to this call how did you come to that conclusion? The daughter is making a lot of stupid decisions because she is listening to her idiot bf. The parents are trying keep her from making big mistakes that she will take years to recover from. Nothing in the call suggests that the mother or daughter have any issue with the "dad".

ASLStu666 Of course the daughter is doing stupid things. But mom is a hammer and sees everything as a nail. Dave asked about the Dad and she ignored it. Mom calling a teenager names is just stupid.

Jimmy Delaware She did not ignore the question about the "dad". Go back to around 4 minutes in the video, you must have missed it. Where did she call her daughter any names? Where do you get that "mom is a hammer and sees everything as a nail? You yourself have said that "the daughter is doing stupid things", so why would her doing the best she can to keep her child from being stupid suggest that she wants to control everything? I would have agreed with that analysis if they just had a difference of opinion. but we both see that it is much deeper than that.

ASLStu666 go back and listen yourself. Our oldest isnt a round pancake? Where is dad in all this - We both talked to her together and seperate does not answer this. Mom wants to be right far more than she wants her daughter on the right track. If you treat a teenager like a child they will rebel just to hurt you even though it hurts them more.

Jimmy Delaware The pancake thing was an analogy to condemn her decisions, not to call her names. LOL, if her response was not an adequate answer to the question, Dave would have addressed that. Where is your proof that she "wants to be right far more than she wants her daughter on the right track". If that were the case, she would not be calling asking Dave for help. She also would not have helped her daughter get a loan, use her car, or get an apt., rather than completely cutting her off.

There is a difference between letting someone making their own mistakes, while being there to help when they need it, and throwing someone into the water with no lifejacket and weights on their ankles just because they are not following your every demand.

You need to rewatch it again!

Bad advice Dave! You are encouraging tiger parenting, which will not improve their relationship.

Something tells me she would hate any guy her daughter chooses. if they break up, she will never hear the end of it from her mom. "I told you he was trash, etc etc etc".

At least a debt you can control and get rid of.

This is so true! Your comment spoke to me. My parents did this to me. In my junior year of college I mentioned I wanted to move in with my b/f (husband now) and they threatened not to help me anymore. Instantly (and rather childishly, I admit) my hackles raised. I was like, "Okay, bye!" Luckily things worked out and my life didn't implode, so I don't regret it. Even at the time I knew they wanted to protect me. But the instant I felt controlled rather than talked to, I was out. You can bet they had no more say in what I did, how many hours I worked or what classes I was taking. Hopefully things work out for their daughter. I'm rooting for her. She sounds like a good kid. Her parents did do her a favor in the sense that they raised someone who is a go-getter and independent. She'll find her way.

Ots not just the relationship, it seems like he is her only support. Her mother is punishing her for having a relationship, which is ironically pushing her closer to her boyfriend. "Ooh, she uses her car to see her boyfriend more than her parents. I'm sure that if we take away her car she will want to spend more time with us"

@@kateg9437 she’s not being punished for having a relationship. Her parents are taking away something they own that was lent to their daughter because she’s not making choices that align with what is best for her. As a parent, I agree with their decision.

I Smell Fresh Cash Exactly. She isn't on drugs. She isn't drinking and going to parties. It doesn't sound like she got bad grades so why are they being so strict. It just doesn't make sense.

I Smell Fresh Cash You do have the right to tell any adult what to do doesnt mean they have to do it

Devon B ok Captain Obvious.

Devon no need to be argumentative my friend lol

I Smell Fresh Cash Young people are often too dumb to take their parents' advice or that of a more experienced individual with their best interest at heart. In this case, the daughter is going to rack up student loan debt because she does not want to work full-time over the summer or go to the college that is providing a partial scholarship. Her parents know how stupid this decision is, especially since it is only being made to please some stupid boy. Removing support to make her reevaluate her stupid decisions has nothing to do with being controlling. They simply want to protect their daughter and refuse to support her stupidity.

Yes!!! Why not keep an eye on things in the family home?

JDK Parker has

Its not that difficult. There are plenty of companies that cant get enough high schoolers and college students to work

It's called multiple jobs that equate to 40-50 hrs. I worked 4 jobs during the summer months of my schooling to get myself to 60-65 hours per week. If my child does not work at least 40 hour weeks during the summer months of college, I will refuse to fund their schooling for the next year. Simple.

Shoaib Rasouli good luck with setting your kids up for debt!

jillian mcallister They need to understand that college is a privilege and a choice. Not an entitlement. The reason WHY students end up in high debt is that they see college as an entitlement.

seungbin ahn How so? I think it was pretty spot on. What's your solution just watch your daughter bust up in flames?

@@davidp2981 No, just don't throw oil on the flames. These idiots kicked her own daughter. Let's say that one day she realizes she made a mistake. She'll never go back home to those who threw her out of her house. Man, some people are really bad dealing with teenagers. And then you have bigger idiots who give dumb advices to these people. Teenagers always revolt against authority. So the solution is never use authority. The solution is to use dialogue, to use diplomacy, to find a middle ground.

Bingo. Don't spend your summers burning dollars on Netflix or at the beach. Get a job, complete a course, or land an internship.

GamerNRetro They did treat her as an adult - they basically told her "You don't like the rules living under our roof? Fine. Move out and make your own rules." They just didn't leave her completely stranded; they let her keep the car they're letting her use for work. I don't see a problem with that - they're the ones paying for the insurance and everything under that car. Boyfriends come and go. There's already a red flag with this guy overhearing a conversation and crying to the girl about not seeing her enough. 🙄 Sounds like he needs to man up and get a job himself or something.

GamerNRetro i'm curious to what you mean by "she is an adult so you should treat her as such." If the bank gives me a car in exchange for payment every month, I (as an adult) must give them a payment every month or they repo my car. It's called a contract, which is what this girl had with her parents. They pleaded with her individually and as a couple to continue on the good path she was on to avoid more debt and receive her scholarship but she refused, all because of the influence of a needy boy who didn't want her to work so much. They are well within their right (as three ADULTS who entered into a contract) to not continue to financially support her poor decisions. Would you give money to a friend for living expenses and then watch them blow it on dates with their boyfriend? That's essentially what is happening here. It seems like Tough love, but this woman is really trying to help her daughter understand how to follow through on commitments, avoid more debt, and doing her best to persuade her first. Unfortunately, her BF's hold on her is stronger than her parents' at the moment. There's absolutely nothing wrong with expecting someone to work 30 hours to help pay for school in exchange for financial help and housing. She had a pretty sweet deal compared to me & my husband and it's the daughter who isn't acting like "an adult" here. I'd do the same. If she's paying 100% for everything, she should do whatever she wants… But that is not the case here. I have seen many people harmed by being given financial support as adults. People need to man up and pay for their own lives. The world needs more financially responsible adults

Same exact thing happened to me. God, I was an idiot. 🙄

@@TheJackOfAllTrades777 19 is not a child! Were you a child at 19?

18 is considered an adult in the USA