Hey there, Levi here, your trusty guide through the absurd, and boy, do we have a doozy for you today. On episode 147 of the What Are We Doing Podcast, we dove headfirst into the CNN Presidential Debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. Spoiler alert: it was like watching a reality TV show directed by a committee of sleep-deprived cats.
Imagine, if you will, President Biden, who seemed like he aged five years during the debate. He started strong with all the vigor of someone who just realized they left the stove on. His sentences were like a choose-your-own-adventure novel where every path leads to a dead end. And who decided against giving the man a lozenge? It sounded like he swallowed the entire cast of The Princess and the Frog.
Then we have Trump, the human revisionist history machine. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was auditioning for the role of “World’s Most Delusional Politician.” He painted his presidency as an era of sunshine and rainbows, where everyone held hands and sang “Kumbaya.” Apparently, he’s the only person who remembers the “moonbeams and puppy dogs” era of 2016-2020. Also, fun fact: did you know that the South won the Civil War? Neither did I.
Our dynamic moderators, Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, seemed to have taken a vow of silence, letting Trump’s fibs fly by unchallenged. At one point, Trump claimed, “I have the biggest heart on this stage.” Well, sure, if we’re talking about a medically concerning condition.
Biden, bless his heart, took his sweet time to mention that he was debating a convicted felon. You’d think that would be the opener, right? Instead, we got Biden channeling his inner grumpy grandpa, telling Trump he had “the morals of an alley cat,” which, let’s be honest, is a disservice to alley cats everywhere.
Trump, in his usual fashion, was all over the map with his insults. “Manchurian candidate,” “very bad Palestinian,” and my personal favorite, “I didn’t have sex with a porn star.” If you had that on your debate bingo card, congratulations!
By the time they started arguing about their golf handicaps, I was ready to bang my head against the nearest wall. Biden’s accomplishments got lost in the shuffle, and Trump, well, he somehow seemed almost normal, which is frankly terrifying.
CNN hyped this debate like it was the second coming of prime-time TV, but Jake and Dana might as well have been hosting a particularly disinterested game of Jeopardy! By the end, Trump had that Cheshire Cat grin, probably because he knew he’d just pulled off the ultimate con job.
So, folks, buckle up and join us as we dissect this trainwreck of a debate with all the wit and sarcasm you’ve come to expect from the What Are We Doing Podcast. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this one.