Also when Sebastian says that Maru is probably happy he’s gone, when you have two kids with him he’ll say that he hopes that they get along bc he and Maru fought a lot

i hate how he destroys Sebastian's snowman for no fricking reason by far the worst parent in stardew valley he is to overprotective in Maru.

I guess ignoring someone for most of the day counts as "respecting their private space".

Also, that frickin' scene where he low-key threatens you needs to be discussed more. Not only is there no excuse to threaten someone for daring to be friends with your kid, but it happens literally right when you hit TWO hearts with her and it happens even if you're dating or married to someone else.

As someone on the spectrum: Demetrius' treatment of Sebastian is unnacptable. Your condition may be an explanation for actions that harm others, but it isn't an excuse. You HAVE TO learn to interact with other people without hurting them. Especially if they're your wife/stepson.

it's kind of odd (sad?) how Seb lives in their basement while there's a whole room upstairs dedicated to a lab. Youd think it would be a reverse- Seb has that room and the lab would be downstairs given the extra space (and like, basement lab. those are neat??) Maybe that was his own decision since you know, _privacy_ , but his mom is the town carpenter. You'd think she could make a cool addition to the house (considering Maru seems to get her own room, a private wing, _AND_ a secret underground lab (if im looking at the layout right?)

I’ve never really liked Demetrius or Robin, actually, especially considering how they treat their kids. To Demetrius Maru is the perfect child. She likes all the same things he does, she never gets in trouble, and she always does what she’s told. She’s agreeable and, most importantly, he understands her. Sebastian, on the other hand, is in many ways Maru’s opposite. He’s not interested in science, he stays out late, he smokes and rides a motorcycle, and he’s often doing things Demetrius, in particular, doesn’t approve of. It’s no secret in the game that Maru is Demetrius’ favorite. It’s also no secret that he doesn’t really care if Sebastian knows that or not, to Demetrius the only child that matters to him is his daughter. Unfortunately, Robin really isn’t much better. Throughout the entire game she seems completely oblivious to the fact that Demetrius and Sebastian don’t get along and, more importantly, to the fact that her children are essentially strangers. They’re both bad parents. Demetrius for his blatant favoritism and his hostility towards Sebastian, and Robin for her (possibly intentional?) obliviousness and/or lack of involvement in her children’s lives. The saddest part about it is seeing the way it impacted Sebastian and Maru’s relationship. They never even talk to each other in the game.

There are so many messed up familys in Stardew. Makes it interesting and different, but also very sad. I can't imagine how detrimental it would be to be treated or ignored the way Sebastian is, especially in such a small town with little ways of escaping.

I need a mod that has Demetrius have some emotions towards Sebastian. Like “it’s kinda confusing how Sebastian communicates with me” kind of lines.

about the "he's not my father" line, even if it's a common trope, if a step-dad is a good father figure, that mindset either dissapears pretty quickly or doesn't even develop. I have a step-mom and used to have a step-dad, I loved the dude as a dad, even calling him that and always saying he was my second dad. my step-mom on the other hand has always been pretty awful, so I basically feel like Sebastian whenever she talks to me. So we could say that's proof that Demetrious ain't a good dad. Even the fact that he is so territorial with his daughter makes me think he is probably one of the worst

I honestly feel relieved I married Sebastian so he could move to my farm and have all the space and freedom he wanted

yes I'm the threat to Maru, the guy that makes thousands in profits every day who supports her by not breathing down her neck and allowing her some damn freedom lol

I’m crying at the “we already said that’s not going to happen” at the be caring part. Anyway, as someone on the spectrum and who has an autistic father, Robin and Demetrius’ relationship just seems. Weird. Neither of them communicate properly, his treatment of Sebastian is, if not openly hostile, then awkwardly indifferent. Being on the spectrum isn’t an excuse, but an explanation. And once you have that, you have to work towards making things work for you and your family. My dad and mom have been together for over two decades and it has taken them a long time to figure out everything that’s going to be blatantly different or not work. And even then there’s still misunderstandings sometimes. He can’t tell when she is or isn’t upset, and she can get frustrated when he does something she doesn’t understand. But they communicate and work together on it. They still adore each other! I’m sure Demetrius is a good person, but something has to change in that family dynamic because it isn’t healthy or fair for anyone.

Personally, as someone with a sibling on the spectrum and with me being on the lighter end, I hate the “Demetrius is autistic” theory. If he’s supposed to be representing the condition he does a piss-poor job at it, coming across as another “Nerd who just doesn’t get it” like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. There’s more to autism than just having a devoted interest or having a “strict schedule” (which many people in the valley have anyway.) Not understanding some social situations is a symptom. But then there’s also sensory issues, stimming, exhaustion from having to mask around people, etc. Due to the lack of other symptoms in his cutscenes and dialogue, Demetrius really just comes across more like an asshole who is being obtuse to make him seem intellectually superior over his wife. And it’s not like it’d be difficult to add lines of dialogue to get the concept across. Here’s some off the top of my head: - During winter, “It’s so cold, but just I can’t stand the way bulky coats feel.” - During the Luau, “Why does Lewis feel the need to be so obtuse with what he wants from the governor? Honestly, the world would be a better place if people just said what they meant.” - Low-to-mid hearts, “Hey, farmer. If I start going too deep into a topic, don’t hesitate to stop me. I can get carried away sometimes.” - A mid-heart cutscene where Demetrius is working in his lab. He notices something under his microscope. “Oh!” He flaps his hand for a second, “This is great! Farmer, I didn’t see you there, come look at this! I just made a fascinating discovery regarding the microbial contents of the valley’s lake water.” You look and don’t really see what he’s talking about. You get an option to blindly agree that it’s cool which will make him happy; you can ask about what you’re supposed to see which would lead to some more dialogue + a fade to black; or you can ask about the hand-thing which he’d, slightly embarrassed that someone saw that, explain that he doesn’t do it often but sometimes it just happens out of habit when he’s really happy or excited about something. - Mid-hearts, “I really try to be there for Sebastian. But, I just can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling most of the time and I just end up upsetting him. So I keep my distance. Robin and Maru are so much easier to read.” - Mid-hearts, or after the tomato/bed scene, “Sigh. I made Robin upset again. I don’t want to get into arguments with her, but sometimes I feel like she’s from a separate plane of existence. Do you ever feel like that, farmer?” Mid-hearts, “I’m glad Maru’s interested in the sciences. But, I won’t lie, sometimes I wish she was as into biology as I am. It’s hard for me to be as enthusiastic about robotics as she is.” High-hearts, “You know what, farmer? With most people I feel like I constantly need to act like someone I’m not. But not with you. It’s refreshing.”

CA watching his characters being torn apart and/or praised as if they’re real people after writing them at 3am on 2 adderalls and 12 cups of coffee: 👁👄👁

In other words, the floor is made of floor or what Demetrius’ annoying self would say “no it’s made of concrete and tiles, wood or…”

Honestly, i hate Demitrius He's a shit Father, completely overprotective when it comes to Maru (to the point where he threathens people who just want to befriend her) and neglecting when it comes to Sebastian

Maybe because Sebastian is my go to marriage candidate so I’m biased but I don’t really like Demetrius. He’s always putting Maru up on a pedestal and it actually made me not like Mary either in the beginning but now I love her and we end up being really close friends in a lot of my playthoughs.

I always find it interesting that lots of people shorthand Sebastian as “being emo” because he’s anti-social, seems generally unhappy, and hides out in the basement a lot. But I find there is so much more to his character, and I do think he feels underappreciated at home. I also think it’s curious that he believes Maru would be happier with him gone or mentions that they fight a lot, when Maru says she wants to get to know Sebastian better. So, what is the disconnect here? I don’t think it’s a case of Sebastian preferring to hold onto his biological father, because he never talks about him. So, is Demetrius also creating a barrier between Sebastian and Maru getting to know each other more? Neither of them says they dislike the other, but they aren’t at all close. I like your idea that Demetrius might be neurodivergent. Thinking on Robin’s special order for hardwood, she builds a bed with distinct posts; she’s happy with her creation, but Demetrius harps on how the posts were an inefficient use of her materials. This isn’t a case of function, since the bed isn’t shown to be unstructurally sound-it’s purely for aesthetic, which Demetrius doesn’t seem to consider, or maybe cannot consider in his calculations. His response reminds me of my brother, who is autistic. He’s described his thought process as being black-and-white, so concepts that don’t fit into this binary are difficult for him to comprehend. Maybe for Demetrius, a thing’s aesthetic has no place in calculations of function.

Demetrius: I love all my family equally! Robin, Maru, and *looks at smudged writing on hand* Stebstabson? Who?

The way you refer to Demetrius Being on the spectrum is good. I think that Sebastian is confusing to Demetrius, he probably doesn’t understand him. It’s still no exuse for how he treats him.

The only reason I treat this man with any respect is because he gives out easy quests

What makes the situation even more sad is Maru and Sebastian seem to be pretty close in age, so Demetrius is probably the only father Sebastian ever knew, considering his bio-father seems to be out of the picture. This doesn't seem to be a case of Sebastian having been fully-grown, when Demetrius married Robin. Robin should be ashamed as well, having a kid live in a windowless, moist room, while she is constantly running around building and improving homes. Adding a window wouldn't have been any trouble at all! Nevermind that she could have added an actual room to the house. The favouritism both parents show for their daughter is disgusting.

As a person on the spectrum, I think that Demetrius's behaviour towards Sebastian is unacceptable. He's way too overprotective of Maru and is _horrible_ to Sebastian. That is no way to treat your stepson.

It makes sense for him to be on the spectrum. But he still should treat Sebastian better. Even if he might not like having the basement vampire in his house

Maru and Sebastian know about each other's favorite, dislike (Maru even know that Sebastian have crush on Abby lol) so I think they maybe actually care about each other but when their interest, schedule and hobby are different. It's hard to spend time together. (with Demetrius on top of that who probably try to compare Maru and Sebastian about everything they do) Everything Demetrius did is not something family man should do. He doesn't support his wife much, He's being bad step dad. I bet all those book was actually something Robin bought and sneak in to give Demetrius some clue about why she's mad. But Demetrius, even thought he reading something before sleep every night... He never touch those books. There's no wonder why Robin smash hammer that hard on our wall.

Maybe I’m overly optimistic, but I think the whole thing with Sebastian’s bedroom went something like this. So Maru and Sebastian shared the bedroom on the left wing of the house as kids, but then being an emo teenager and all, Sebastian decided to move into the basement. He was excited at first but only _recently,_ as he’s come to be an adult, he grew dissatisfied with the gloomy atmosphere. Due to a lack of communication Robin and Demetrius think he’s still happy with it, but they never _forced_ him to move down there.

I remember getting the Maru 2 heart scene after marrying Sebastian and hearing Demetrius “threat” got me like “Sir, I’m already married to your son :/“

You know, everyone insists that it's Abigail that is the wizard's child, but I also wonder about Sebastian because the whole family seems to treat him like the unspoken secret.

I don’t care how many friendship points I lose, I ALWAYS pick the dialogue option to call Demetrius out for that thinly veiled threat.

His favoritism towards his bio kid and indifference towards his adopted kid is the reason why Sebastian and Maru never bonded as siblings. Screw that guy.

No because I was friends with Demetrius before ever really interacting with maru or Sebastian properly, and I really did like him. The dancing together is cute, he was nice and he gave me mushrooms. Then I became friends with maru. Oh boy. Suddenly he gets all “overprotective dad” on me. I WAS MARRIED.

Talk about Emily pleas, she is so strange and intersting at the same time, there Is a cutscene where we SEE her dream like wtf how

as someone who's on the spectrum myself, i appreciate the effort you put into using inclusive language and doing research to avoid any offensive language

im on the spectrum! im autistic, and i really appreciate the way you did your research and did your best to use 'correct' language, most people would just go 'lol autism' but your thought into it is so appreciated. Most autistic people prefer putting autistic first, because they are autistic, they cant seperate themselves from there autism, and most people would prefer if non autistic people use 'autistic person' instead, but it really isnt as much of a big deal. thought i could just put in my input :) thank you for the great content edit: i also believe multiple people in the valley are neurodivergent, demetrius most certainly being one of them

Demetrius has no shame when it comes to having a favourite child, nor does he even seem to acknowledge Sebastian’s existence. Robin is just straight up oblivious that her son is not just _”going through an edgy phase,”_ he’s legitimately depressed and isolated from the rest of his family because Demetrius clearly doesn’t care about him, and Maru literally never mentions and interacts with him…

I started growing a disliking when I found out how Dimitreus didn't approve of Sebby building a snowgoon and lets Maru's snowman goes unharmed, damn he's a bad dad

Yeah It's really clear to me that Sebastian has been moved aside for the golden child [Maru] and Robin just lets it happen. I like to marry Sebastian to get him out of that damn basement. It's nice to see him happy and in a house of his own. And he acts really grateful about being appreciated and treated equally.

Sebastian is totally depressed lol. He spends all day in his room, has a low social bar, smokes, and only really hangs out with his friends like twice a week. I feel so bad for Seb

Soo english isn't my first language so I hope I will make sens, I'm autistic and Demetrius being on the spectrum makes a lot of sense and explain why he is (even if ignoring Sebastien isn't something he should do), the thing is, when you are autistic, what is "common sense" isn't really there for us, espacially when it comes to interacting with other. It usually makes us easy targget for things like social anxiety which makes everything worst T.T The other point is, it's often hard for us to care about other things than our passions (here, science for Demetrius) I know it's almost physically impossible for me to care or want to do things that doesn't interesed me, to the point where at school my grade would suffer a lot because of that. The thing is, without aknowlaging that he is on the spectrum and getting help with that, I don't think Demetrius is fit to be a step father, after all, he choose Robin, not her child...

I think it would help to have some context as to just how old Sebastian was when Robin remarried and if his real father was ever in his life. There is a particular "rebel without a cause" trope going on with Seb, and we can't know how Demetrius treated him prior adulthood. I also think that it's a bit unfair to assume that Robin is completely oblivious to their relationship just because she doesn't talk about with the farmer. It could be they have tried and failed to reconcile and so everyone has just come to accept it. I also think that Sebastian and Maru would've fought because there's no doubt that Seb feels like an outsider once Maru is born. The odd one out in their family by default. Anyway, my point is I think this goes way deeper than what we see I'm game.

In one run I specifically decided to marry Maru because Demetrius warned me off. I decided - all in a moment - I was going to rescue her from his clutches. I think Demetrius needs some sessions with Shane's therapist.

Funny thing is that he doesnt apologise to the farmer in his event, neither does Maru. I dropped Maru after that LOL

I'm autistic and personally, I was never particularly fond of Demetrius. He was just kind of there and I forgot aboug him most of the time. I do remember really disliking his treatment of Sebastian though

A bedroom has to have a window to be up to code so I find it ironic that the carpenter has her son living in a room that isn't properly labeled/built.

As an autistic person myself, I can't say that I've ever thought about Demetrius being autistic, but I actually quite like the theory. Thought I'd add a little something extra to it: Once you reach a certain point in the game Demetrius will come to your house to set up either fruit bats or mushrooms in the cave on your farm. Also, his special order gives the player a Farm Computer that displays a lot of technical information about the farm. I sort of like to imagine that he does these sorts of things as a sort of way of bonding with the player. For most autistic people (myself very much included) their special interests tend to heavily bleed over into a lot of interactions they have with other people. For example, I spend a lot of time with my partner playing Stardew Valley specifically because it's a game I really enjoy, and I suppose that a lot of times we tend to think about these things as really cool stuff that everyone should give a try. After all, it gives us a lot of joy, so it'll probably give the farmer that same sense if I set up the cave on their farm for research? As a second point, I strongly feel as though if/when someone received a diagnosis can heavily impact their social life. I wasn't diagnosed until highschool. Demetrius strikes me as someone who may not have ever received a diagnosis at all, something that people with lower support needs and a lot more apparent intelligence (what's been dubbed Asperger's, but personally I dislike using a classification invented by Nazi doctors). After receiving a diagnosis, I was much more easily able to break down a lot of social rules and concepts that I never really understood before my diagnosis, for example, why my mom would get mad when I got stains on my clothes, or why people sometimes get upset when you tell something that's true. A lot of stuff that neurotypicals view as being "intuitive" can make absolutely no sense to an autistic person without being explained. I view the scene where Demetrius bought tomatoes when told to buy "fruit" as being caused by that. Hell, it may also partially explain why he doesn't give Sebastian very much attention. I can't speak on Sebastian's childhood, but at least when we play the game, he does spend the majority of his time in the basement alone, and if he wanted more attention he'd come up and say something, right? (Probably wrong.) While I still entirely believe that Demetrius should still be held accountable for the things he says (and *especially* how he treats Sebastian) I do feel like there's a lot more nuance there than one might think, especially if they lack the rather specific experience of being undiagnosed autistic. I don't want to come straight out the gate and say that he's an intentionally bad parent, I feel like there's a lot about him that goes unexplored in the game, likely because ConcernedApe probably didn't intentionally write Demetrius to be an autistic character, probably just more based off of stereotypes of the "eccentric scientist" (which also happens to overlap a lot with stereotypes about autism.) I find him to be a quite compelling character, at least, since the way he's written doesn't really shy away from some of the more harmful ways that some can act due to their autism. Gives him more dimension and complexity, and I'm not sure that I've seen very many characters in media who really explore those aspects. Of course, that's all just speculation on my part. Great video!

I always marry Sebby and I hate Demetrius for the Maru convo, but one of the weirdest things with Sebby's heart events is that if I remember correctly, none of them deal with others for the most part, Robin comes in his room to tell him Abigail wants to see him and he plays DnD with Sam, but he doesn't really interact with the townies much when it comes to his heart events

Sebastian's family never felt like a family to me. They always felt like strangers that lived in the same apartment complex. Even Maru and Demetrius don't seem to be on the same page - they just have similar interests. Could never quite put my finger on what their dysfunction was, even now...

The house layout question has long left me with a headcanon that Sebastian actually initially lived with his bio father after the divorce, and after Maru was born and the family was settled in Pelican town, something happened to his bio father and he had to move back in with his mom creating the unexpected blended family dynamic. Which is why the house was not built with space for him in mind?

So excited to watch! Their family is so interesting imo. the dynamic is just strange

it's kind of upsetting how the only black man in the game is depicted as a terrible stepfather to his stepson, being on the spectrum or not

“subscribe or I will put tomatoes in your fruit salad” I don’t even have salads

"Mess with Maru, I'll hit you with my caru" -Demetrius

I will say as an autistic person.....we really don't need more depictions like Demetrius. I promise, a lot of us know what beauty is, and appreciate it. Many of us are *gasp* empathetic! Emotional! Friendly! Even those of us who are overly analytical have to acknowledge when we're causing problems, when we're hurting people and try to figure out how to work with allistic people in a way that benefits all parties...and you know, not be dicks to people we're meant to be raising.

I’m autistic and I prefer just saying that. And trust me what you said adds up quite well Not following my routine causes a lot of stress Good video

I too am on their, somewhere probably with adhd, it was hard learning with only verbal(talking only) teaching so I need some visuals(waves hands around doing visual things) and I put as a rule for me to quote spongebob "Write that down, write that down"

Great video. I’ve always found Demetrius to be an interesting character and I agree he’s not too good to Sebastian. I’m on the spectrum myself (Asperger syndrome) and personally use Autistic person but know there are plenty people who use person with autism.

I frankly think Demetrius is just what comes out of people's mind when someone tells them to think of a "scientist". I'm majoring in biotech and have seen several labs specialized in it and things don't seem right. He seems to be biologist, specialized in local crops and fish. And his lab is... worse than average high school science classroom tbh. Some microscopes, beakers and flasks and a periodic table? It would make much more sense if it had at least a computer. What can he actually do in here? He can only make superficial observations and write them down in a paper note. There are 3 computers in that house(Sebastian's, Maru's and one in the Robin/Demetrius' bedroom) and none in the actual lab. Even if it did have a computer he can't still do much. It's not like Stardew Valley has extremely alien ecosystem. Increasing crop yields may take decades of work from several researchers with the best resources. Saving local fish population takes industrial action of outlawing overfishing and carefully releasing artificially bred fish. At least other people work if the farmer does something but Demetrius just seems to not do anything at all. And about the tomato incident, If my coworker said "tomato is a fruit because that is the scientific definition" non-jokingly, I will think about how the fuck they managed to not get kicked out, not because they are being an ass, but because that's just incompetency. Does he also say "Strawberry is not a real berry but watermelon is"? If someone requested some information about local wild berry population, will he just say none because blackberries and salmonberries are not actually berries? This is just incompetence and if you think this is autism, you should really meet someone with autism and how they try very hard to overcome it. Saying "haha he said tomato is fruit he is autistic" is honestly insulting to actual autistic people. Stardew Valley's characters are mostly stereotypical, but Demetrius is especially stereotypical "that science nerd that is socially awkward, always thinks 'scientifically' and says 'well achually' non-ironically". And plus points for "that stepdad that has absolutely no idea how to be a stepdad and continue to favor his own child over the other".

My dad is on the spectrum and has adhd, and treats me and my brother amazingly, even though we have different moms and such, his treatment of sebastion is unacceptable.

The line about Sebastian commenting on not having a window is surprising, but then again, I don't really talk to that whole family a lot, since I don't go into Robin's house often.

As an autistic and ADHD person, just saying "I'm autistic" is fine because saying "I'm a person with autism" reminds me there's people out there that refuse to see me a person unless stated or that my autism can be disconnected from the person.

i'm autistic. i tend to prefer less euphemisms like "on the spectrum" and person-first language (ie. "person with autism") and go full on identity-first instead. i'm not sure about specific surveys/studies but most of my fellow neurodivergent friends prefer identity-first when applicable

I just saw this just now and I'm so happy and completely honored to see the art in this video! It made my day thank you!

I'm on the spectrum, and while it's a different experience for most people, I also know a lot of other autistic people. If Demetrius is intended to represent someone on the spectrum, I feel that's quite harmful and perpetuates stereotypes. A lot of people describe him as robotic and cold which is actually pretty rare for people on the spectrum. Also yeah I'm glad you made the disclaimer at the beginning with the discourse between autistic person and person with autism because no matter how you put it, it would have been wrong with one side. Also I agree Demetrius is a bad dad but he's also a really poor husband. The cutscene for Robin's project has him actively ripping on her work. Idk I think he's tied with Clint for the worst character in Stardew.

I love this series!! Please keep making these!

Demetrius is interesting, because he's really good representation, but I still hate him lol

What bothers me in the Demetrius Discourse is that people so often complain about him misunderstanding Robin above everything else, *as though that is as bad as, if not worse than, his neglect of his stepson and his possessive attitude towards his daughter.* Not only is this a benign neurodiverse trait that shouldn't be stigmatized - let alone conflated with him being a bad dad - the man clearly adores his wife! He won't win any Father of the Year awards (though really, none of the on-screen dads deserve such a prize), but he is definitely Husband of the Year. I think the main problem with Demetrius is a common trap writers tend to fall into when writing smart characters: giving them autistic traits like bluntness or hyperfocus or not understanding relationships, then treating those traits as severe character flaws. Don't get me wrong: these writers aren't waking up thinking "I hate autistic people and I'm going to write that hate into my story!" Usually writers don't intend to write an autistic character at all - they are simply copying smart characters they've seen in other stories. Unfortunately, while these tropes may be used without bad intentions, using them can still end up stigmatizing real autistic people. For more about this, I recommend Overly Sarcastic Production's video "Trope Talk: The Smart Guy."

As someone with autism/as an autistic person, I appreciate you care and respect concerning the topic and how you really wanted to make clear that it was just part of your speculation and that it isn’t a negative thing. I can’t explain how nice it is to hear someone doing their best in this type of topic, which sadly has a lot of prejudice and stigma against it. Thank you leapalot and please do Haley!!

I married Maru, and I call Robin “mom” (she reminds me a bit of my irl mom) but Demetrius is still just Demetrius. As an autistic person, I do see him as possibly being autistic, but that doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t take accountability for his actions or try to improve his social skills for the sake of his family. I always thought he was really controlling of his children, probably not from a bad place but it still isn’t okay.

Oh wow your channel has grown so much! Good job! I love your videos and now so many other people do too! Keep up the good work! :D

You really inspire me with your ability to be open and inclusive and recognizing your ignorance. It's something I try to do, but it can be difficult at times

Ok as someone who’s neurodivergent I had to weigh in on this. I think one of the reasons Demetrius has Maru as a clear favorite because Maru is also autistic. Maru seems to follow a lot of the claims you made about Demetrius, and thus, I think it’s a lot easier for the two of them to communicate. I think it makes the whole dynamic a lot more interesting to look at when you see Maru and Demetrius as the only two in the valley who really “get” each other. Not even Robin, Demetrius’ wife understands him. It also makes sense why Demetrius is so scared of losing Maru and basically threatens the player. He has had something for the past, what, 20 years? That he hasn’t had all his life. Someone who understands him everywhere he goes. Someone who understands what he is trying to say. And now, he’s losing that. That isn’t to say he’s not a crappy dad. But he’s a crappy dad who’s trying. Which honestly I feel like is more than can be said for half the towns parents.

Props to you for doing the research and stuff man :) Great videos in general btw

I finshed watching and oh man this one is good. one of my faves from the "stardew npcs " series

demetrius’s treatment of sebastian and the threatening of the farmer is so uncalled for in all manners i just never want to even interact with him in stardew because he is just unjust. also, the introduction to this video was actually one of the like best ones i’ve seen for covering like the concept of neurodivergency and how to talk about it as someone from the outside.

Also thank you for researching before on the language to use! Personally, person with adhd is better for me since it’s showing how I’m not just adhd, I’m more than that!

Hi. I have autism and personally I just like it straight up and just called autistic. I feel when people work around it it’s because it’s a bad thing and I don’t want my identity to be a bad thing. I kinda just want to exist and saying the word autistic when describing me is a just a fact and I embrace it. When people use work around a it almost hurts a little and I always try and get them comfortable with calling me autistic if they want to talk about it in the future. Edit: spelling

Something that's occurred to me is that while Demetrius seems to be some kind of biologist, Maru's primary scientific interest in her free time seem to be astronomy and building unspecified 'gadgets'. Sebastian's job is in programing. It feels like Maru's interests actually overlap more with Sebastian's than with her father's. They could be bonding over building all sorts of wacky things together, but they're not. That just feels sad. (and they family dynamic makes me feel like if anything went wrong with one of their gizmos, Sebastian would be the one their parents blame the most)

Nice character videos. This is my 2nd video of yours that was creative. You have a new subscriber.😃👍

The line that always sticks out to me is during the hardwood bed scene (...i think)- Sebastian says he feels like he always has to protect his mom from Demetrius. As someone who grew up in a house like that, um. yikes.

Yeah, the "He's not even my dad" thing is pretty stereotypical, but as someone who has grown up my entire life with a stepdad (age 2 or 3 when my stepdad moved in), it's something you think about a lot. My stepdad tried to step in as a father figure when my biological dad was always there for me growing up and I still see him a lot. he was never absent in my life and I never needed someone to step up for him or do what he couldn't do, because he provided me with everything a good father should. He's a good dad, he always has been. Having my stepdad just walk in uninvited by me to attempt and parent me growing up was frustrating, he wasn't a good dad and thank god he never had any kids of his own because he messed up my entire life as a child and I hardly got to experience an actual childhood when I was on my mother's time thanks to him. A lot of the time I really did just want to tell him he's not my dad, and it's something I would think about and feel bitter over constantly. "You're not my dad. Why are you allowed to tell me what to do?" Especially having my dad in the picture, there were a lot of feelings of "I have a dad, I don't need you." So, although it's stereotypical and kind of cringey in fictional stories, in my opinion it's a very valid and sensical thought to have when you grow up with a less than great step parent, and seeing that relationship between Sebastian and Demetrius is one of the reasons I like Sebastian's character so much as well. But yeah, I don't think Demetrius is a good father and the favoritism he holds towards Maru is a horrible situation to put siblings in. No wonder Maru and Sebastian fight so much, it seems like it's almost being set up by Demetrius and Robin- albeit not on purpose. The way parents treat their kids determines a lot about siblings relationships with each other.

So as an autistic person : I prefer saying „I’m autistic“ since it’s short and straight to the point. Less talking = less words = better for me It also reminds me of the word „artistic“, and since I’m an artist o think that’s pretty cute ! But everyone can have their own preference in that regard, I just felt like voicing mine ^^

When I first saw the 2 heart event I was so shocked, I really didn't think much of his character before, I kinda thought it was cool that he was a scientist but that was about it, but when he threatened me about Maru I immediately started to dislike his character. I always marry Sebastian as well so just talking to him made me also realize how much of a shitty father he was to Sebastian as well so yeah. I'm not a fan of Demetrius lol

I really like those videos. They really make you look at characters more in depth. I'm excited to see the ones about Maru and Seb (especially seb, he's my fav with elliott) now! I also wanna say that I also think of Seb as autistic. I'm on the spectrum and he just reminds me a lot of myself in some ways. Like how he spends his days mostly on his computer, away from everyone and only comes out when it's dark and quiet. If you think of him having trouble with sounds, it kinda makes sense. He only goes out ever so often to town, to hang out with friends, or at the bar once a week, which might drain him a little (or a lot). Not to say he isn't having fun, social events are just extremely draining for me lol. He prefers going out to the moutain when nobody will bother him (aside from the new farmer in town) or to the ocean when it's raining (which is a very soothing sound, i love rain too, so i get it). It's mostly quiet spaces and rarely busy ones. In the festivals, he mostly stands aside as well, not really wishing to participate, finding some dumb, which honestly I feel like I'd do as well if I was him lol. As a farmer it's fun but if you've lived your whole life there and you hate the town, yeah i can see that. Plus, rarely going out of his room means he doesn't have to interact with his family. And especially Demetrius. He at least definitely struggles with depression. I kinda wish he got to leave and go to the city, because he talks about it in a heart event, and it definitely feels like he'd feel better there. He'd be able to leave the uncomfortable family household, leave the town he probably resents as well and live outside of the valley he grew up in. I think it'd be good for him. All and all I really like seb :')

I wouldn't say he's respecting Sebastien's personally space more like neglecting him

We really need a dlc that allows us to call out Demetrius for being a bad step father, for Fem PC to call out Alex's mysogny, and tell Lewis and Marnie to JUST BE OPEN ABOUT IT NO ONE CARES IF YALL ARE TOGETHER... also set up AA meetings for Shane

Thank you for researching autism! It's nice to see people try to get more understanding about us. Great video!

The most irritating thing about robin and Demetrius both is when you marry Sebastian and move him to the farm, neither of them have a single line of dialogue referencing that Seb has left home. I know Pam does about penny and sams family does about him, so I know it’s a thing that can happen, but for Sebastian there’s not a single difference to him living on the farm instead of the basement. It’s like they don’t even notice? Part of sebs Monday schedule is going to visit his mom at the house and HE has a line of dialogue about how his mom seeing him makes her happy, but she never seems to notice that he’s completely moved out. At the fest of the winter star she invites you to sit with their family out of kindness?? But when you’re Literally married into the family the dialogue remains Exactly the same 🙃 my two toddlers by Seb can be Literally clipping through her at an event and she still doesn’t seem to care. (To be fair tho I think that part is actually just an oversight by CA; I don’t think any of the grandparents have any dialogue about you having kids with any of the marriageable NPCs so 🤷🏽‍♀️ would be nice if there was a mod that addressed that)

If we're doing robins whole family which are all intertwined, maybe just make a video about the whole family.

Hi! I really like this series. I hope you have a lovely day :)

Hey, You did so so so well acknowledging that our community needs to control our identity. Being autistic is who I am and honestly, I'm proud of it & being neurodivergent. I'm so impressed by how you took it head-on & respectfully and most importantly, learning. I personally find that very cool & very very rare. Seriously, thanks.

great now i feel bad for calling seb a vampire ^^"

I think because Sebastian is probably older than Maru, when robin was pregnant they had to move Sebastian to the basement so they could be close to the baby for safety. Unfortunately there was no other bedrooms in the house and Sebastian needed his own room so they gave him the basement. The other option would be putting the little new born in the basement but that doesn’t work for multiply reasons. I don’t think he was moved to the basement out of not caring about him. There was no other option

You were right to go with "person on the spectrum" in your video. One thing I learned about in a class of mine this past fall was "people first" language when talking about people who have a disability or other condition. In other words, saying "person on the spectrum" instead of "autistic person" was totally right!

This is an intersting specimen thanks :D

I knew Demetrius wasn't the best to Sebastian but, I didn't know the specifics. Not sure what's up with his biodad but hey, we can commiserate over possibly two terrible father figures a piece! Also, it's really weird how Demetrius tries to scare you away from Maru at 2 hearts. I mean, yeah Dads can be overly protective about their daughters dating but dude, it's 2 hearts. Do you want your child to have zero friends or something?

I don't care what Demetrius has going on. He knew damn well what Robin meant when she said she wanted fruit. The man plays semantics when pretty much everyone knows 'fruit' is shorthand for 'sweet' fruit, as opposed to... like... savory fruit. Whatever Tomato is. We hate 'em, right fellas?

Knowing people don't give a crap about you trying to rise up is even more discouraging than people actively trying to stop you.

I'm on the spectrum and I've said it both ways before, I don't have a preference personally, but you are going out of your way to try and understand, doing your best to be respectful and I appreciate that. I think you're a wonderful person and I like listening to your voice, it's very soothing. I'm slowly making my way through all the videos on your "Exposing The Valley" playlist, they have all been wonderful! 💖

In answer to your question at 1:20, I'm really loving the Wheel of Time series. I've been reading the books for the last couple of years, and I'm currently up to book 9 (Winter's Heart). They seem to be doing a pretty good job so far with the show, despite changing a few things around.