Do you get tired of people asking, "You're so smart, why aren't you successful?" I never had an answer to that question until I found out I was autistic. Now I know. I'm all IQ and not much EQ.

I'm 57 and have never been formally diagnosed because I've just come to terms with the fact that I am autistic. I've taken every self-test online and all of them came up stating I should be tested for autism. At first, I went into a sort of denial thinking "You can't always believe what's on the internet". Then I was high and listened to some of Samdee Sams videos. Being stoned slows my thinking down enough that I can hear things instead of my internal chatter talking over what is being imparted to me. Absolutely everything I heard on those videos fit me to a T. I can't deny I'm autistic. There's no test that can convince me I'm not. I would like to eventually speak with a professional about it (if I need a formal diagnosis for something having to do with my job or something like that). But other than that, I finally feel like a door was opened that shows me why I've reacted to the world around me. That I'm not weird or eccentric. There are actual reasons why I've been this way my entire life. That part is liberating. . The part I have problems with is mourning the fact that my life may have been much more positive had I known about this decades before this. I probably would have made many different choices.

i was literally just diagnosed an hour ago. looking forward to this!!

I have just discovered this site. Perhaps I'm not really alone after all.

I remember the adults from my childhood, and their litany of, "You're not trying hard enough"...or "You're not working to your potential"...or "Maybe if you acted more like the other kids, they'd like you better." Finding out just how wrong the adults from my childhood were about me has been an emotional psunami of anger, relief, hurt, validation, a whole LOT of rejection, a bit of acceptance here and there, and a profound sadness at the cruelty I inflicted upon myself when I was so desperate for acceptance and to "just be normal."

I'm a 52 yr old high functioning Autistic/Aspergers, diagnosed professionally when I was 50, but every thing was a mess already, but to finally know why I never did fit in, the weight lifted of my shoulders & to begin to understand to heal, amazing, finding you, amazing, so very grateful for this fantastic content, I've found my tribe, my r load to recovery, thank you all here today...

3 years ago. I’m 60. Stress from being evicted brought all my ptsd ( from early attempts to “help” me) To the surface. I was seeing a Psychologist for support . He saw all my weirdness for a year while I was self studying autism to see if I was. I was. My Therapist and I just went through the DSM5 criteria for Autism and he agreed. WithThe Autism And PTSD. Which I now get ssd for. Thankfully. 🙏🙃

It's important to know your genetics Aspergers is a genetic thing. My Dad is from Afghanistan and I know I inherited this condition from his side of the family. I hope to speak about my life story some day. I'm blessed to be alive today. I want to meet people who have struggled with Autism

Thank you all for sharing your experiences, they are so familiar. It seems like Australia and the UK have much higher awareness and acceptance of those with autism/Aspergers. Here in the US it’s taboo to think of anyone but a child as being different. I live in a city with a very large university with an autism research center for children and adolescents, but after repeated calls for referrals to groups or ways to meet with others like me (60 years old), they never returned my call. I often wonder where their kids go after aging out of that system. It’s a lonely existence, as I get older it gets more tiring to try to fit in. Thanks for acknowledging the reality of our atypical lives -the struggles and triumphs. Thanks, too, Paul for all your hard work bringing the message to us and the rest of the world.

I prefer to say "I am autistic" rather than "I have autism". Anyone else feel this way?

It's really interesting to hear, how different the process was for everybody! I'm going through my own diagnosis process right now and it's very different from what I expected. I have been mostly answering questions / filling out questioneers. The diagnosing doctor asked for a person that knows me very well to come in, but since it's plague times we agreed on having them write some things down and mail it in instead. I decided to have my boyfriend do it, because my parents never really thought anything was wrong with me - probably because they also have undiagnosed adhd and autism. I'm the first in my family to get any kind of psychological diagnosis, so that's been an adventure. When I learned about my adhd I suddenly noticed all those behaviours in my relatives and it's so strange to think I allways thought everyone was "normal". lol

I'm 18 but I was diagnosed by a Child Psychologist at 17 after I left school for college. It definitely opened my horizons and people were very accepting unlike others. I guess to them it was an excuse to not offend me. But this definitely opened my eyes on life. I lost my mum just a week ago and I do enjoy speaking to others on the Spectrum. If it wasn't for people similar to me, I don't even know if I'd be here especially after the hectic year I've had being anorexic as well a few years back

Who ever you are just know that you are valued! The only people that wouldn’t sympathise are the ones who simply do not either have the education or maturity to understand 😃

My worst fears came true last week. After self-identifying as having ADHD early this year at 37, being diagnosed but having no (or even less) success with ADHD treatment, I started to investigate autism, and my traits are exactly like so many women diagnosed later in life. I wasn't totally convinced that my ADHD/autism "expert" psychologist was up to date on female presentations, but due to covid closing waitlists with actual experts, I embarked on the diagnostic journey with them. She basically disregarded my thesis worth of input (I am a psych professional myself, working in research and studying further), saying that the report cards from my dirt poor public school didn't give enough info on my behavioural issues past grade 2, and my mum didn't say enough to confirm autism. I was gifted and hyperlexic so didn't require my teacher's effort, and learnt to mask the way that so many of us do. I love my mum but she didn't do a lot of parenting outside of teaching me to make her coffee and buy her cigarettes before the age of ten - she conflates everything with me having meningitis when I was 3, and just being a shithead at home thereafter. So I apparently have ADHD and autism traits, but am not autistic. It is possible as you said Paul, to know more than they do, and it can be devastating. I wish self-identification was enough for me, but the validation is necessary for me to feel authentic. I desperately want to use my education to advocate for others, but would feel like a fraud without diagnosis. I'll guess I will just try to avoid stimming myself into a stupor and letting anxiety destroy my study, career and relationships, until someone who cares enough to do professional development is available, sometime in the next millennium.

The bit about the the thing you were asked to get from the grocery store not being there just caused my chest to go tight and tears to well up. I GET IT.

I was diagnosed 10 years ago, at age 48. Always knew that I was different, but was at a party and noticed the son of a friend acting very non-social, and it suddenly clicked in my head (he had already been diagnosed with Aspergers). Was formally diagnosed a few months later with PDD-NOS, when my (very understanding) NT Wife and I were going through marriage counseling with a local pastor, who was also a licensed psychologist. This probably saved our marriage!

hearing this conversation made me want to cry because of how overwhelmed I was getting with how relatable a lot of your guys' struggles were and the similarities in behavior and or struggles. Hearing Paul say that needing to go through the lengthy process of trying to get an "official" diagnosis from someone isn't really necessary is very comforting, because where I live there aren't really any resources or "professionals" who would be able to do that for adults, let alone women, and I don't have the finances or emotional stability to put myself through a lengthy stress test with the hopes of getting an answer.

I love how there’s moments between them talking that feel like pauses. If you look at the right time it’s almost like we’re just looking at people through webcams. But then all the sudden someone talks and it’s either a brilliant insight or a supportive sentiment. And somehow they aren’t talking over each other. I’m 31 and diagnosed ADHD as a teen and spent ten years ignoring that thinking it was a “fixable childhood issue”. It took me probably 2 years to go from “I want to be reevaluated” to “I signed up for an assessment”. In that time I started researching ASD almost a year ago (and then ignored my research and self-tests for another 6 months) and all these little pieces from childhood to current are making more sense to me. But just because I understand myself doesn’t mean I can explain myself to others (unless I was given the opportunity to write out a life history and an up to date mood breakdown). Finally started writing emails last week to try to get some steps in the right direction. Unfortunately I’m finding a lot of “please call” type of messages for different offices, and telehealth stuff is making me nervous but we still don’t have offices open I guess. Thanks for sharing your journeys/ discoveries/ struggles. If there’s one thing that’s painfully obvious to me now it’s that our mental health system needs to be redesigned to be accessible to people with mental health needs. Wish everyone the best.

This is incredible. I’m actually hearing people talk of very similar struggles as I’ve had for my whole life and I had pretty much chalked it all up to the fact that maybe I’m just totally broken or a freak. I just found this channel two days ago and that was the same day I came to the knowledge that I’m almost 90% sure I would receive an official diagnosis for ASD. I have spent my entire adult life, after a childhood full of bullying and loneliness and being misunderstood, “trying to be normal.” I’m now 31 years old and I can’t do it anymore. Ive been fired from every job I’ve ever worked with the exception for a couple where I managed to quit before being fired, and when it happened again this year in January, I have been having a seemingly progressive meltdown since mid-January. Things have been getting harder and harder for me to cope, and I just thought I was maybe going crazy or something for not caring about my responsibilities anymore, and I have an 8 month pregnant wife and a 4 year old boy. Of course I’m not going to give up on them, but this year has been so tempting to just stop trying after a lifetime of masking. This whole thing is jacking up my stress levels even more than it normally is because I’m becoming disturbed by the fact that all the personal work I did since I was 18 years old to “be normal” was completely in vain. Now I wonder what the future looks like as I no longer have any hope that I’ll eventually be neurotypical. I’m all alone in this, and just had my mother gaslight me when telling her I might be on the spectrum, telling me she got me tested when I was a boy and I was diagnosed as OCD and having a personality disorder, so my mother was blaming me for why I am the way I am again. At least my wife is receptive…

Thank you, this was so great. Really appreciate everyone's contributions. I was assessed a few months ago, age 59. I cried through this presentation, really touched me to hear your experiences and validated so many of my own.

I'm scared of being labeled. I do struggle with ADHD and after taking some online tests it seems very probable that I'm on the Autism spectrum. I don't want people to think I'm using these as excuses to stay where I am. I worry if I tell people they will think I'm just finding excuses for myself rather than growing up. I'm 41 now, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I have never felt like I fit in as most of my interest have often been uncommon. I still struggle to read an analog clock. I haven't found a way to consistently remember how to spell words. I often don't remember I've told somebody something in the past until I'm halfway through telling them again. I usually don't remember the important parts of conversations. This leads to a lot of frustration in my marriage as my wife has t repeat things often. I find myself frequently driving conversations back to a few of my main interests and/or curiosities (health and nutrition, US national debt problems, conspiracy theories(9-11 is like a brain magnet), new invention ideas, questioning the consensus of just about anything (I often feel people believe something because it's "accepted" not because it's true). Thanks for reading. I don't know how or where I fit in, or if I want to fit in ("fit in" sounds boring), But I firmly believe God doesn't make mistakes. I am His and I am not a mistake. I am loved and accepted by Him regardless if I feel this, that or the other. I don't need to know the whys', I need to choose to have faith and believe. Much love to you all, looks like you have a new family member.

I'm 44. Recently realized I'm on the spectrum. I don't understand why or how nobody realized before now. I have a brother and a son who are on the spectrum, and my other son probably is too. I've done the tests online and they all come back highly likely. Like some of you, it was the traits my son and brother have that I just thought were normal that tipped me off. Also recently, I've been NEEDING strong taste input, and have been compelled to eat a specific strong tasting food every day for a week or two before it suddenly switches to a different one. Then the process repeats. It's irresistible and I NEED to have the specific foods/flavors/textures. Watching this video made me feel understood for the first time in my life. I also have the fear of getting assessed by someone who very likely knows less than me, and I'm worried about going through the process and getting a negative, when I know. Just went through this with my 7 year old. It's very discouraging and severely limits the help he's able to receive, and is beginning to affect his self esteem pretty severely. Ugh. Wish me luck in finding us both the right place for a diagnosis.

Thank you to my ladies from Oregon. So many things you said spoke to my heart and my experiences. I’m going to the GP today to get my referral to a Dr that can test me. My GP just thinks I have anxiety. Yeah anxiety from 49 years of masking!! Our health system is a joke. Feel like I am preparing for battle. Every time I leave the GP’s office I’m close to tears. Thanks again to all the participants of this call. It has been really helpful. At least I know that being dismissed by health care providers is super normal.

I'm only 10 minutes into this but already it's been so rewarding. Thank you for making this available for people like me.

What a wonderful video. I haven't found another thing like this. It was nice to watch a group talking before trying to joining a group on my own. I have an unofficial diagnosis and am debating whether or not I just need to get it done to make my head quiet down. It was really wonderful to hear other peoples' wide range of experiences. It seems odd to me that some can be diagnosed in an hour and others have to go through hours of stressful (trauma) evaluation. I feel like the stressful evaluation is more for the clinician's research. I would love a 10 page report, but maybe they could just tell you that they know you are Autistic (they can tell you that in an hr) and then ask if you would like to go through the traumatic testing. It sounds like they don't want to tell their patients ahead of time what they want to do to you and take advantage of you wanting the diagnosis. Not very straightforward. Each clinician gets to decide what they want to do to you. They know that they are causing you mental pain and trauma but acting like it is harmless diagnostic testing. Mental health 'care' still doesn't seem to be very 'caring'...I feel like we haven't advanced much farther from shock therapy. I feel like an Autism diagnosis should come with a label (caution: side effects of evaluation process can cause mental and or physical trauma, depression, shutdown episodes, increased risk of self harm, fatigue, and as always - migraine). :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ALSO: I watched Sarah Hendrickx's video - I highly recommend. I love that she spotlights Autism in Females - I really think there are many men who have these so-call 'female autism' traits and are being completely ignored. I think they really are just more ways that Autism can present and not only 'female traits'. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Thank you for making this video. I feel seen.

Hi I would just like to say that you have helped me sooooo much, I used to think I was all alone, like no one was the same, but now thanks to you I'm almost certain I have Autism. Thank you ♥️. Words cannot express how grateful I am 💖💖💖

Secondly, great to see so many women with eye contact and facial and vocal expression diagnosed as I've often wondered as I'm so capable of this that this may go against me? Thanks again................ Go well all. Enjoy Hx

I've just been diagnosed at the age of 35. I originally tried to get diagnosed a while back and the psychiatrist spent half an hour with me and then told me I didn't have it. Turns out I'm just high masking and that psychiatrist is crap at their job. I originally began to suspect I had autism when I spent some time googling on the internet to try and find answers about why and how I was different because I'd been struggling with my mental health, partly as a result of being aware of that difference. I'm pretty sure my Dad has classical autism but he's from the generation before autism diagnoses unless you were also intellectually disabled. My nephew was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 and my brother is definitely on the spectrum to some extent.

I have ASD too. Now we'll see if I can find someone to diagnose it. At least now I know what to call it. "Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment If finds a meaning." Victor Frankl...

I'm usually not one to be part of things like this, even online. If so I'm in the back row to myself. This was very positive and inclusive, I enjoyed it. Now I want to join the FB group. Keep it up!

Oh wow, how inspiring. I haven't had much good experience of doctors with anything that doesn't require medication.

The "dot in the box" test is to check for attention problems. You should see what happens when you give a kid with ADHD that test. Most of the time they won't just give you the tests for Autism. They have to rule out other possible disorders/check for comorbidities, so there is a lot that goes into a comprehensive evaluation to make sure you are getting as accurate a diagnosis as possible.

I'm 40 and recently diagnosed with adhd although I think it may be more on the autism side of things, its awesome to know now that I'm not alone in this as that has been my feeling all my life I now know that my whole life has been scripted and masked and can somewhat stop blaming myself for the train wreck of a life I've had....so if you aren't diagnosed my advise would be to get get it as soon as you can as it could be life changing ,but I'm no expert I do wish it was spotted sooner rather than later though, anyway thanks for the content it's very helpful

"What to do when you go to the supermarket and the thing your asked to buy isn't there"... WELL? Give me the answer! This is important stuff! I get anxious when someone is taking orders for a lunch run. I don't want to give them my order. I fear that what I ordered won't come back right. Then I don't know what to do or say. So I don't bother putting in an order. I also get anxious when people ask me to pick something up for them when I'm going somewhere. When I take a trip to 7-11 on lunch break I don't tell anyone, except for my boss. I do ask my boss if he wants anything but only because I know he will always say no.

💜 Thank you 🙏 to all here in this video💜 am very new to this channel & to the idea that I’m 69 & possibly on the spectrum. It does not bother me whether am professionally diagnosed as was diagnosed at age 19 with schizoaffective after a major breakdown. Appreciate all of you!🙏

Than you so much Paul for this opportunity to hear this discussion with all this beautiful people. Thank you very much

One of the questions that continues to come up is whether a formal diagnosis is necessary? That seems very personal to me with many factors to take into consideration. Like others here, I self diagnosed. It was just a couple of years ago in my mid 50s. It's been a lifetime of strange and otherworldliness for me, knowing there was something different/wrong/weird about me and trying to understand how normal people interacted. None of it made much sense to me. My relationships have always been off and my communications have often been confused and rife with misunderstandings. I had always hoped one day I'd grow out of it but that day has never come. It was only when my nephew was having problems that I began to look into Asperger's. I live in the United States and I'm sorry to say that in many ways this is a tragically backward country. It might be hard for people in Australia and the UK to understand just how screwed up things are here. Healthcare is an industry, vastly expensive with poor motivation to get things right. What my nephew went through with misdiagnosis, drugs and therapists was traumatic for him and his family. He'd already seen enough trauma and distress. Personally I've gotten more out of Paul's channel than I'd likely ever get from professionals here in the US. Though there is a part of me that would like some validation, the cost is way too high and I'm not sure how many people I'd really want to share a diagnosis with anyway. If there were things I'd like to get further help with, it would be perhaps getting a better understanding how PTSD can get interwoven with Asperger's? A number of people here seemed to agree with the difficulties kids with Asperger's experience in school. I can say much of my experience as a youth was a mixture of confusion, violence and abuse. I had some victories as well. Family life was so full of tragedy and stress that I didn't bother to bring my problems home to share. Adult life has seen some tough times as well but also powerful, life affirming experiences. Asperger's along with ongoing stress and trauma has left me with scars and triggers but also sense of depth and meaningfulness. Sorting these things out is something of a task but I have little confidence in professional assistance.

had my assessment exactly a week ago, just waiting on the paperwork now-- sniffling my way through this whole discussion

I’m not sure I liked getting a diagnoses - I was 52 and had struggled all my life but had developed a strategy to cope. Most people, here in Denmark, think Asperger’s is a just a combination of being socially handicapped and lacking in empathy - before I felt I was a freak by choice, now I’m a freak with a label - great 😖 no one listened to me before and now they actually have an excuse to question everything I say - I still haven’t found a new stratagy to cope with that.... btw I was diagnosed by a psyciatrist treating me for anxiety and depression - I didn’t choose it

Oh My Goodness!! I am a 32yr old mother of four beautiful children. My oldest three are diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum, 8yr, 5yr and 9month old boys and a 3yr old girl. I am in the process of my Diagnosis right now!! Thank you for doing this video!! I am so excited!! This is perfect timing!! I’m so grateful for everyone’s time that is going into this!! Thank you so much!! You ALL are adding so much value to the world!!

Thank you so much to everyone for being so brave in sharing your stories. I can so relate to what everyone has shared. I am 45 now and learned 2 years ago on Dec. 17, 2018, that I am on the spectrum/Aspie. So grateful to have found Aspergers From The Inside, as well as so many other positive neurodiverse channels and people. Happy Holidays to everyone!

The lady at 9mins said she has memories from babyhood...others nod in affirmation of having the same...I feel validated

I was Diagnosed last year and given letter the who to this my concern. It took me years to get diagnosed with it. Before was just getting doctors wanting to give me antidepressants. I was given a booklet and website addresses that is all. I been now trying to diagnosed with ADHD. On the way to get diagnosed with Autism I did get diagnosed with PTSD.

That was a fantastic conversation. I had 2 online interview assesments and yesterday I went in to a centre for another assesment (The test/interview was really streesful). I've been told that because of the Easter Holidays I have to wait 3 weeks for my results to come back. My anxiety has gone up x10 fold worrying about what the result may be. I didn't expect it to affect me this much. If they come back to me and say that they don't think I have ASD, I'm not sure where I would go from there to be honest.

Please make more of these videos. They are very helpful. You say that your number one suggestion is to interact with other Autistic people but sometimes thats not easy. Watching your videos is easy. Please make more videos like this.

The 72 year female Pamela ? who shares first in this video is very helpful for me. I am 71 dealing through my entire life, with Sx that are considered "on the spectrum" but never been officially diagnosed because of USA medical system ins and outs and financial costs. Thank you all for your shares in this video.

I’ve declined to look for a diagnosis. I already have 100% confidence in me being autistic. I have struggled a lot, partially because of the people I’d been surrounded by at school. I tended to attract other people with neurological differences. The issue there was they were generally the type that were diagnosed early, then went undisciplined as a child because of it, and by little fault of their one became... for lack of a better term, fairly vial. Crude humor and the like. With mostly that sort of contact I never really learned to mask in a... confident way I guess? So my anxiety in any social situation is through the roof. Now that I’ve got a job (happily working in construction) I’m doing better, but it’s still very difficult. Anyway, due to my hobbies, a big one being marksmanship and learning the engineering and mechanical aspect of firearms, I feel a diagnosis of anything neurological could actually be very damaging for me. Many times there have been bills in the states that have been attempted in passing as law to make it illegal for someone with autism to even own a firearm. Just an interesting take on diagnosis and the potential for the legal system to actually kill an outlet for someone like us. It’s not a point of consideration for everyone, but if you already know, and a diagnosis doesn’t seem to have logical benefit, find out what it could do against or even for you legally based on your interests.

A question for the men in the group... Do you notice when women flirt with you? Friends are always telling me, "she likes you," and I say, "How can you tell." They always say something like, "isn't it obvious? "

The lady in the states made me start crying. I hate living in America man I can’t even say what I really want to say I just feel so frustrated with our mental health care system. I feel so alone and hopeless

I'm in the "I need the diagnosis" phase. Years ago when I first suspected it, after a lifetime of having an autistic dad (who didn't have any idea during my childhood) but he did say "I think Naja (my son) might be autistic" . My second born son Naja is now diagnosed, as an adult, with autism2, but when my dad said it, when he was a small child, I was living in a incredibly disdvantaged situation and I could hardly compute what my dad had suggested. When my dad became self aware of his own autism and my half sister had her children diagnosed and I had other diagnoses of bpd and cptsd and I had done A LOT of trauma recovery therapy and I thought "no there is more than just trauma", I remembered how my mum had always said "You are so like your father". I went to my gp and told him my suspicions and he said "Why do you want to spend all that money to find out something you already know?" and in a typically autistic response I didn't have an answer straight up. I needed a long time to process and think about why I wanted to spend a lot to be told something I already know. Because I wasn't just suspecting my autism I had done ALOT of online research and read some books as well and did the online tests and had high scores, so, to be accurate I wasn't just suspicious of having ASD or being on the spectrum, I did already know....and now I'm ready to gift myself, at 50 with a formal diagnosis. It just feels right and important to pursue it as I'm not able to work, barely able to leave the house, minimally functional much of the time, other than pursuing special interests. Luckily (for them, I guess) one of my special interests is my children's welfare, now all adults, all 7 of them, other than the youngest turns 18 in a bit over a week. He has submitted some paperwork and done some testing for getting an Aspergers/ Autism1 diagnosis (he is living in a youth flat now and being independant, although we spend quite a bit of time together. Phew ...what a written rant! (awkward, embarrassed face). I have contacted Tony Attwoods clinic in Brisbane, for myself I live about 3 hrs south of Brisbane, so I am awaiting a response. I have told my new trauma psychologist that I'm autistic already, it was one of her areas of specialty already. I recently started an NDIS process (other Aussies will probably know what that is) and applied for a support program as leaving the house has become so incredibly difficult and I now need help to do that. Cptsd and ASD, with the ADHD traits on top of it, is a double wammy of social avoidance and more and more debilitating burn outs as I am in perimenopause and the dropping estrogen affects our dopaminergic system adversely and thus executive function is affected. I found a clinic that diagnoses and treats the concurrent dual diagnosis of ADHD and "high functioning" ( thats a laugh, I'm not "high functioning these days) ASD but they have a 6-12 month waiting list and they don't tell you their fees until they've locked you in and I don't like that so hopefully, Tony Attwoods clinic on Brissy will take me on but it could still a long wait I guess. Also have contacted a psychiatrist that diagnoses ADHD in my local area but she has a 7 month waiting list too. Sigh. Nice to be exposed to other self disgnosed as well as diagnosed peeps, its all normalising for me and I really appreciate it. Thanks Paul and crew!

If you go to the store and they don't have the thing you were supposed to get do you just wander the store for 2 hours trying to will it into existence and then spend the entire trip home coming up with a reason why it took you so long to not get anything just to have thought about it so much you forget how to talk.

How many of us oldies remember being described as 'highly strung' ???

I didn’t get an official diagnosis, I couldn’t afford it. I did see a specialist to validate my experience. Sometimes I want one but at other times I’m okay with where I am.

Thank you so much for your video's, I recently self diagnosed and after watching your video's I'm identifying so much with experiences, Finding it hard to deal with it feeling like 48 years of my life have been wasted, especially as I tried to get help when I was 15 and nobody would listen, it's very overwhelming

Great topic! It’s so important for people to get help when they need it.

Hi - thank you so much for this video. Is there any chance that we could get the link to the assessors in Guelph Ontario mentioned by one of the people in the discussion saying they do international online assessments? I am waiting for an appointment in Ireland but worried about the cost and experience and hers sounded kinder and cheaper than others. Thank you

this is THE weirdest feeling.. you guys make me feel normal, and like i do have a tribe.. i HIDE from everyone and / or be anonymous always.... you all just made me feel like i have a family for the first time at 49yrs.. [well, its sort of true as i was a State Ward].. but even just joining the group mentioned i didnt hesitate.. usually i would never ever... with such personal situation because i am never accepted and can nver be myself... i dont usually

The comments here are a goldmine of information and affirmation. Thank you

I actually found "the dot in the box" relaxing. All the other tests were stressful!

I think you make amazing videos. Thank you for all your hard work and Merry Christmas. 😊❤🎄

1:09 My 38 year old son just received a formal diagnosis… My dad called him “The Professor” 🤓from when he was 18 months old. My son and I were always a lot alike and I understood him very well…. Realizing now, in my mid 60s that I’m no doubt on the spectrum as well! Coping by heavily masking through life, and as a female has been very exhausting and stressful. Diagnosed in my 30s with ADD-pi shed some light but this is definitely the missing piece!

I get my assessment results in 6 hours and I’m super anxious about it

Feeling understood is great but feeling seeing feels even better...

One thing that was difficult was going to crowded areas or heavily populated places. They have medicine for ADHD that affects how u focus. It's about how the Brain develops

i love how you aLL talk like me.. and have that same nervousness because you too are use to having too squash or feel like youre not doing good enough .. because youre so use to knowing people think youre weird 😢

I’m in the same area as Crystal and would love to know where she was assessed and which vocational rehab place she went to! Her story resonated with me a lot.

Hello. I just discovered your videos by chance less than a week ago. I have been in ongoing shock for days as things I heard you say resonated with me so deeply, as I have thought over individual parts of what you'd said all the things in myself those words made me reflect on left me in a kind of shock from knowing those things in myself so well but never knowing there was a name to link it to and others like me. I never felt I belonged on this earth because of my differences that i feel make me special but don't feel so special because of others reactions or lack of reactions, Cutting off my sentences and many other things. Without going into details, I just needed to say 1 I am so appreciative of what you have done for me by helping me to discover this. I doubt I ever would have if it weren't for your videos. Secondly I have a complex situation and this, which I can't explain simply in writing but I could really benefit from some advice from you I believe. I hope it's not wrong for me to ask, but I really would like to have just one conversation with you to explain, it could really help. I have already got a referral just yesterday to get assessed for Autism Spectrum Disorder, G.P. estimated would be approx. $800. My issue is that while I can see it I'm 100% sure I am Autistic, I can see where a Dr. could use things to excuse and pass it off as other reasons especially situational and past trauma and so forth. My 4 children have signs of something I thought ADHD more likely. I'm a single mum in an Australian rural area and I Do Believe these disorders have contributed to our lifestyle challenges. I won't put more details on here. Please let me know of I may be able to privately discuss this with you a little bit. I'm a little worried for good reasons. Thank u for reading if you have, even if you aren't up for the chat. How you've helped me to find out has done so much for me already. Thank you.

Working in a factory since I sincerely tried to make a career path for myself and failed to such an extent that I believe this factory job overnights on the weekend is the best job I could get.

I just turned 63 and I lived like this all my life now . mom and dad being gone has left me with no one .I chased everyone else away

Sorry to hear about your siblings. This is so hard. I got brushed off when I shared things about my son. "All kids are self focused". It's not right what we suffer through because people think they are "sparing us"... Those who don't understand or have the capacity to say it's an excuse. So appalling. Bless you.

I'm concerned that I won't find a qualified or insightful expert that can help me understand and reframe this part of me as something that isn't just fundamentally wrong with me to be covered up or repressed.

Thank you to those who shared their stories.

it was nice to hear from you all

Joanne, I'm 101% with you on diagnosis.

This is cool, but I was diagnosed in middle school & not as an adult. Regarding my autism diagnosis I went through 3 phases. 1st I didn’t want to believe it. Then I told people that I have ADD because I was afraid that people would judge me for being on the autistic spectrum. Now I wear my mid functioning Asperger’s syndrome with pride! The autistic spectrum isn’t a sickness, it’s a super-power!!!

Getting my doctor to refer me to a neuropsychologist has been exhausting. Not much help where I’m located. At my age it’s hard to be taken seriously (44).

Big Thank you Paul and All....... I found this hugely helpfull and informative. The comment 'Getting a professional who does not know as much as I do' hit home......... I think I'm going through this at the moment with my assessment but you guys have given me my 'Plan B' which will be the clinic in Ontario! Hopefully they do Zoom? The NHS here in the UK are using it at present......

Man this video is great but it’s also nonstop with the ad interruptions...

Thanks Paul. This was very interesting.

This is such a helpful video. Related very much to a lot of it. Thank you.

Hi Paul (and anyone reading this), I’m curious if you have heard of people who got / get lower marks in school on purpose to try to “fit in”? If yes, could you please do a video about it? Also thanks for your videos. They are so insightful.🎉

You know, I’m 51 - being a teen 13 yrs old, I refused to go to school. Cutting it short I was diagnosed with depression and put on strong antidepressants, because the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and I was put on strong medication. A tricyclic antidepressant. But I used to invent illness in the junior school. ( evident at about 9 yrs old ) Masking though. My lord I’ve learnt to do it, at this age. 😢

Thank you, you are supportive people, I am late diagnosis, age 44, it's been difficult, I think I might be dealing with related ptsd. Due to it not being recognised. New Zealand, I guess like a lot of places is difficult, and not supported by government or most Insurance companies sadly. Kind Regards, Heath

I live in the U.S. Nearly 54. About as classic a case of " high functioning ' (barely I would call it). I have other issue's from physical trauma like 30% of my body 3rd degree burned at 14 months old (brain remodeling /hippocampus dysfunction/) .Physical Brain injuries from accidents as an adult . My brain scan shows a void in frontal lobe. I could type for a month telling stories that to me seem impossible even though they happened to me. In first grade I was given an 'entrance test" for a public school (in U.S. that means govt funded ) . The school was rated as the #3 highest rated public school in the U.S. which was why my parents moved to the town. In certain aspects of the test I had scored higher the any other child in the history of the school. I had the reading level as well as comprehension level of an 11th grader. After the test my parents were called in and they were told about this . Somewhat of a fuss was made and teachers and administrators came in to 'look " (it was kind of weird) at the child who broke the test and what seemed like an impossibility. My mom an avid reader had taught me to read for a couple months before school to give me a leg up but it didn't really explain what was in play as its not that uncommon for a parents to read to a kid. There are a 1000 stories of mental , physical and emotional abuse including actual torture. Then there is from after the first day of school , which i was EXCITED for and after an hour having that feeling of literally thinking I was put on the wrong planet. Abject horror and fear and then tremendous struggles from that point on and masking the whole way. Did terribly academically despite supposedly being "gifted" and very special, blah , blah . I want to try to be short which is IMPOSSIBLE as anybody reading this might understand. The stories are abundant , some pretty wild, heart breaking , scary and although I DONT WANT TO BE PITTIED , sad. I have ASKED for help my ENTIRE LIFE either DIRECTLLY or In indirect ways and have been told 100s if not 1000s of times that I AM VERY SMART and will figure it out. just some small examples of my issues. I am figuring others will fill in much of the social problems and horrifying situation that can be being autistic and under the radar. I can drive the same route for 20+ years , a simple route and get lost 50% of the time. Basically every time I drive anywhere it seems "new" or "new in someway". Despite high intellect at 16 I did not know left from right. Was sent to a military / reform school (boarding school where I mostly was denied trips home when others went because of disobedience) of which I could write an entire book on how horrifying that is for a high functioning autist . One of the things I did there was attend a class of one (first ever I believe) of remedial marching where I did 100s of hours of military marching and punishment when I failed at it. I was sent there because AGAIN nobody could believe that I had issues because of my verbal and masking skills . I was thought to be a liar, lazy , dis obedient and a "BAD KID" of some sort. P.S. decades of Nightmare's and Night terrors after the experience that I still have from time to time based on the experience. I have been going to professionals for a decade now and still have not received help. I WAS diagnosed with Adult ADD , Anxiety , Sleep Disorders and PTSD. Given stimulants , Benzo's and Sleeping pills that I cant think of right now but very common and make people sleep walk and do weird shit Zolipidem is the molecule . I was in a car wreck 7 years ago and have a bunch of ruptured disc's in back in neck and a TBI from a rear end accident where i was sitting still and not my fault. All kinds of mental tests and brain imaging. I have in the last few weeks completely hit a wall. psychiatrist I have lost what little ability I had previously had to ask for help or advocate for myself. I feel like it is a "Set up" . Like I have heard my whole life to ask for help . To not be ashamed (especially as a man) . That help is ALWAYS available. As has been my experience my entire life , seemingly my ability to articulate things makes people believe I AM NOT STRUGGLING or HANGING ON BY MY FINGER NAILS. It is like Charlie brown with the football and Lucy. I get coaxed to asking for help. Spend sometimes 100s of hours talking to people and in the end they haven't listened to a word I have said. I have spent an ENTIRE SESSION on JUST THE IDEA of my 100s of experiences being told "your smart , you will figure it out" and had the therapist say at the end " Your smart you will figure it out". I sat there with my jaw dropped. he was filling in some notes or whatever and then looked up at me . It took him 15 more seconds to realize what he said. It comes out of peoples mouths so easily. That was a major point where I realized no help was forth coming. I am dead broke . Essentially alone . one family member , my dad who has been supporting me financially for a couple years now. I receive food stamps and Medicaid , live in a 200 square foot apt. Dont go anywhere or do anything. Get clothes' and food from charities . Have been turned down for disability which none of my doctors for my physical or cognitive issues can understand . But yeah. I have lost my ability to speak and think essentially. Lost my ability to hyper focus (which was lessened from the TBI as well). I also had 2 cases of Lyme disease which the 1 st one was not picked up right away so it was 3 months of anti biotics and symptoms never completely went away. This is a small amount of info really but my question is IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE that helps people like me? I do not have the mental energy to try and explain myself to anybody again? I have no family and no actual friends , and friends Ive had did not understand either. It truly seems like only another autistic person can grasp what this life is like. I feel like my life force is fading away and my ability to think or try and plan for anything just doesn't work anymore. What am I supposed to do now? Any suggestions of how to deal with this impossible riddle where by asking for help I seem to impress on people I don't need or deserve it. I am not suicidal although I kind of wish I was as it would be easier then this , but I just cant fathom that either. Half a century of being tortured in a sense, seems more then enough for whatever the world seems to think people like me deserve. Maybe not hell , certainly purgatory. Last bit, I have always been GREAT at helping other's and being an advocate for them due to my strong logic and being a bit of a pitbull with ideas when I know they are correct , but IT DOES NOT TRANSLATE to helping myself. Thanks, this was difficult to write and I STILL always think about other people who may be worse off and living in North Korea or whatever and feel like I am whining even when I know that isn't logical. Its been beaten in to my head for so long from society it IS hard to shake regardless of how logical one is or thinks they are. Beyond stuck.

This is very helpful. Thank you.

I am part way through this. I'm feeling a bit sad & bruised by my assessment experience. On the one hand I'm in UK & didn't have to pay for anything, BUT I found it uncomfortable. My GP, usually great, was a bit "why do you want to do this?" when I asked. Then I got a message I had to write down why I thought I might be autistic to get considered for an assessment. Which was a bit weird because I was madly trying not to read up too much on it so that I didn't muddy the diagnosis process. Then I got a two page set of questions, and another set for a "close family member". I'm 57 & been with my partner for 20 years so he didn't know the answers to whether or not I was able to ride a bike as a child. I got the feeling I was doing tests that were designed for diagnosing children. After I got the tests sent off I got invited to a zoom assessment (it was actually not zoom - more secure but same process). That was intense. Lasted 90 minutes. Really knocked me out. About a month later I got a letter saying I don't fit the criteria. Apparently I will get the longer report but it's not clear when because they are backed up. So now I don't feel any different but feel like I've failed to prove it. Not sure what I will do next.

Hi, I enjoyed the discussion and I relate to your experiences a lot. Could you share the book references you mentioned in the conversation? "Look me in the Eye" (what is the author?) and the psychology clinic in Guelph, Canada, that will be helpful. Cheers!

Happy New Year Everybody - Stay safe

I've just been through the full formal process (in Australia). But I was disappointed there wasn't really any stuff to examine/measure information processing, which is one of the main issues causing me the most problems at work (and as a student). As in, focussing in on the details but having a challenge with making sense of the whole. I think this comes under the heading of "executive functioning"? Well there was _nothing_ about EF, even though it seems to be a key thing for many people. My diagnosing psych said that's covered in the ADHD test, so I may end up doing that as well. (It's possible I also have ADHD, so might be worthwhile anyway. But it's all so expensive, and Medicare doesn't cover any of it.) As it is, I had to push to get anything about it recorded on my report, even though it was one of the issues listed in my original referral from my doctor.

I didn't know what autism was until about 8 years ago. I didn't know there could be a spectrum until about 3 years ago. The last 6 months I'm like holy crap is that me? It could be me.

Hello, i am from Spain!

I love this video! It makes me feel so much happier seeing that there are people who act like me and speak like me and move like me :-] Normally, autism video are very scripted (lol!) and rehearsed and stuff. I don't normally get to see this side of people :-]

Shout out to the Oregonians! I'm in Portland, OR.

Im a 49 year old man who is figuring out i have ASD. My father had aspergers and is passed. My mother left him because of it, (undiagnosed). I never met him untill i was an adult. He was a MENSA member and thought he was smarter than most. Im not so lucky. My wife is ready to leave and i cant even prove to her im not a jerk and get diagnosed but its next to impossible. Im sick of this, its not fair, and i wont get into some of the thoughts that go through my head. Im exhausted, and i dont blame my wife for wanting to leave after 25 years. Fuck it

Great video my guys

I have only recently come. Across your channel. After feeling like an alien my entire 69 years I am relieved to find out I am not an alien. I am hesitant to get a professional diagnosis because I don't want to take any drugs. Do they have Mods for Aspergers? I wish I had known this stuff sooner. My life may have been differnt.

Thank you.... THANK YOU,!

Is there a way to connect with any of the panelists? Shauna said some things that put a huge "oh my too!" smile on my face and I'd love to connect with her (if she'e be ok with that, of course). Thank you!

Look me in the eye by John Elder Robison is an amazing book it was like reading about myself!

I have my psychiatrist appointment scheduled on Friday. I want to bring up my suspicions and ask about the process of diagnosis.