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This skit is 10000% funnier if you imagine 3 other people waiting patiently for their turn.

XP: "How do I fail to open a door?" Me: "Well, it was a pull door, and you pushed"

I half expected like a 5 on stealth followed by "The door notices your approach."

“ I’m going to quit this game and end our friendship.” “Sorry, you failed your roll.”

Ah, yes, Schrödinger’s Dragon. It’s simultaneously in the room and not, just waiting for someone to fail. He’s a pretty good stepdad though.

I genuinely cannot tell if the end is scripted or not and I love it

You walk into a room with a red dragon. Give me a Survival check. *Rolls an 18* You survive, great job!

This table would be super hell but also "roll to see if you have your tetanus shot" is objectively one of the funniest things a DM can say

DMs who do this are just looking for opportunities to punish you. I played a game where i had done something to upset the Dm. So when we were going into a sewer, and they made me roll to go down the ladder, I ended up rolling low, and so they described my character falling in and literally eating a huge shit.

"What are you rolling?" "To see, if your character life's through this" "One dice roll? What kind of dice roll is that?" Well obviously it's a survival check to see if you survive

A good one for this is to ask, "How do you open the door". It really throws people for a loop. They start doing all kind of weird stuff like leaning way over, or using a spear to push it open from a distance.

Player: I would like to take a deep breath. DM: Make a roll. *Rolls a 1* DM: You forget how to breathe and pass out.

I love that Jacob has no idea what Colton is going to do, so he is genuinely just playing a weird torturous version of a DnD solo campaign on camera.

I’m sorry, I need you to roll a performance check for how well this video performs

This honestly sounds like a hilarious one shot. No story, nothing planned, just a party QWOPing their way through a world maliciously created to stand in their way at every turn.

My first time ever dming years ago I did this and Im SO HAPPY one of the players told me after the game. I was having them roll every time they climbed a rope, jumped a pit, or did anything physical. Help your new dm’s improve people, they need it.

I love how there was clearly no script and they were just riffing off of each other

"Unfortunately the squirrel knows power word kill" LMAO that's my favorite part of the whole video

In my first campaign I knew how to speak orc, and when we ran into a large group of orcs I wanted to negotiate. My DM made me roll to speak a language that I knew how to speak, and he made me roll for EVERY SENTENCE

"As you relax in the bath house, the king rises from the water. And because you rolled a 9, he calls guards to arrest you all."

in my group we have a running gag where any time my character (and sometimes my npc's) need to walk up or down a flight of stairs, I have to roll a dex save or fall down. I remember the first time before this started I failed like 3 times before my character got out of the basement.

God the “you got tetanus” line was so on point from games I’ve played. We had an evil Star Wars D&D were we constantly get a “well you didn’t check in”, on each planet even though you’re going to be on for 5-minutes and it’s just searching around. It gets kind of ridiculous at some point like, are we going to have to go through customs in real time every few minutes?

"Unfortunately the squirrel knows the power word kill" is a sentence I dream to be able to use one day

Seeing Jacob be happy with his family in the opening ad was really sweet

“Do you want to roll for every mundane action” 3.5 enters the chat

This is often a thing that new DMs do. Eventually they learn that they should only roll for things that make sense for something mattering when it comes to failure. A personal pet peeve of mine is when someone demands a roll for an ability that just does something.

I was so lucky to have a good DM my first campaign. Lost my first character in a fight against Baphomet (underneath a prison while trying to save a queen from execution), where every player was downed once and everyone was low. Had a monkey paw (bird claw for flavor) with one wish left. Also had an elemental stone (my character was an earth genasi stolen away from his family by the church) he got from an elemental commune. I used the wish to fuse the stone and its connections to his ancestry to his soul, turning my character into a Zaratan named "The Great Basalt" that I got to control and curbstomp Baphomet with before he became an NPC that roams around with the Prison on his back. ❤️ He's currently a floating island, and none of it would be possible had my DM gone "yeah can you roll to see if youd be wise enough to come up with that? DC 18 Wis Save rn or you die"

What makes this worse is that in situations like this, it’s martial character who are disproportionately punished. Dms will never make a spell caster roll to see if they can cast their spell. They simply cast knock to unlock the door.

Back before me and any of my friends knew a damn thing about D&D some of my friends at lunch would do a really bad D&D thing where we had no character sheets, just memorized our inventory and rolled a MTG life counter (d20) for literally every action. I was the DM for this and i essentally did this; 1-5 spectacular failure 6-10 regular failure. 11-14 fumbled success. 15-19 success 20 BONUS SUCCESS This lead to nothing but hilarious outcomes. People tripped over people who failed to go through doors, a nat 20 on walking could put you into the celing. It was pure chaos.

I once had to role for how fast I can spin a cow. Good times.

What about the DM that has you autofail stealth every time you don’t say you are sneaking. Despite the whole team being on a stealth mission.

Once one of my friends, still inexperienced as a DM, made a "the floor is lava" kind of dungeon, and it required a dex check for every jump from one safe spot to the next. Long story short, everyone died pretty quickly. But it was fun to look at his face as he realized his mistake!

I have to say this was the most fun sketch among those you've made in a long time. I've rewatched the entire wizard playlist and a selection of the most popular ones (obviously because they're all very good). This nonsense just crits me though. Laughed the whole time.

I don't know what's worse, the DM who is asking to roll for literally everything, or the player who decides to stay there.

Something I like to do as a dm is basically inconsequential rolls for flavor. I'll sometimes ask for rolls that have no actual effect on the success of an action but will determine how the success happens. This is usually just for humor and description. Like "you try to lift this bookshelf as a 20 strength barbarian? You do it but you rolled a 1 so you bump it into the wall and bonk your head" sorta thing

I love the idea of D&D just being one long "yes and" improve skit for the DM🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Theres a running joke in my friends campaign. It's "Roll to wake up." because one time a PC was attacked in their sleep and the DM asked the player to roll to see if they were awoken by the knife sticking out of their chest/neck. Cracked me up hearing about it.

I absolutely love how whoever is behind the camera when it's on Jacob is obviously laughing a ton at certain points because the camera is shaking so much, it adds to how funny this situation is XD

You'll shoot your eye out, kid! I love how you just go with it towards the end 😂

I was totally expecting the "you'll shoot your eye out, kid". Although, I think there was a missed opportunity near the end, when he said he was rolling to see if your character lived through this or not, and you asked him 'what kind of roll is that?' he totally should have said "survival".

“Um DM it clearly shows in my bonds that I am “pro vaccine” so of course I would stay update on my shots

When I first DM'ed, I didn't know what I was doing and so I did this and quickly realized the problem. Unfortunately, by the time I changed, my players who were mostly first time players had already gotten bored and quit. I'm starting up a new campaign though, and I'm really excited for it, plus it's with a group I've been in for a while as a player so they all know what they're doing and there's not as much pressure cuz they'll have fun just hanging out no matter how much I screw it up

Pair this with a DM that punish crit fails and you have my nightmare D&D game.

I like the DM making you roll for a random generic action and saying "oh I didn't expect you to fail. I don't know what happens to you. Um roll constitution to avoid damage"

This video made me laugh way too hard. Thank you for all of your videos this year and I hope you have a great year coming up!

Unrelated their house is so pretty

But what would Jacob have needed to roll to continue the video? "Why would I ever say no?" is a beautiful DM mentality

This is so real... both of my DMs are polar opposites, one doesn't do rolls and decides everything, the other is the DM in this video

I had a DM that made me and my party roll for every step of baking a cake They are a new DM so I was cool with it but I admit that I was very annoyed that I had to roll to see how well I could pour milk into a bowl

I had a DM who made us roll to see. As soon as the game starts everyone would roll perception and depending on how high you roll would be how far you could see. It also took an action to see.

"I can't hear ya', I got TETNIS." this was unreasonably funny to me. lol

“I bend the laws of physics to make a gun apear in my hand” increadable.

Happy holidays to you and yours Jacob!

if you find out you have to roll for literally anything session 0.... walk away

love this sketch, please do more improvised sketches this is gold

It's funny to see Jacob cracking up a smile every second shot while confronting the absurdity of DM's behavior.

The fact the both of you had the hold in your laughter as you did the hit was a lot funnier to me

Man, the first half is WAY too close to how I was when I first DMed for my friends. I made them role for opening a door, with a DC 15 to open a wooden door. After they failed three times in a row, I decided that Divine Intervention was needed for this door to be open (they were in a former temple, infested with monsters)

THE CAMERA SHAKING FROM HIM LAUGHING AT JACOB HAVING AN ANEURYSM KILLED ME oh my god this was amazing

I love this so much and how much fun you always seem to have in your videos :3

Honestly rolling for random stuff can be done well. I rolled a 7 trying to walk down a hallway during a heist. The heist was already going bad but that turned it into a scooby doo chase.😅

DMs that do this never question how, narratively speaking, these trained warriors and powerful spellcasters can also die if they fail their dex save against a staircase. I mean, Wizard maybe…

As the DM's Guide famously states, "when all else fails, roll a bunch of dice behind your screen, study them for a moment with a look of deep concern mixed with regret, let loose a heavy sigh, and announce that Tiamat swoops from the sky and attacks."

The only time i had someone roll to open the door in my homebrew is because it had a magic component to it and if you opened it just right you'd open a door to a different plane of reality

My dm has these moments where we walk into a room and I’ll ask a basic question like “do I see a workstation or desk of some kind?” And he’ll make me roll! I’m like dude I’m just asking for a basic description of the furniture

One thing I noticed in Baldur's Gate is it makes you roll very low numbers, like a 2. If I succeed with anything but a critical fail then I don't need to roll!

I love these simpler skits, they're amazing

The thing is, I’m working on my own campaign with a lot of homebrew features. And I created a spell called “Bad luck” that gives a -2 and a disadvantage for every possible roll(attacks and saving throws included) of a certain creature and makes it roll for EVERYTHING. This spell is perfect for making fun of your enemies.

I catch myself doing this so much as I am running a Strixhaven campaign- my players roll for intelligence probably 50 times a session.

Wow they painted their mini 1.5 years later!

Absolute banger with this one. Instant classic

My friends and I have always done a goofy thing where if your character is intoxicated, you do, in fact, roll for everything. Like, acrobatics for walking up the stairs or opening a door lol. Never lasts long enough to be annoying, though

A bit tangential but dms rolling all checks for players was very popular in early days and still makes sense for some rolls ( pf2e has this for secret rolls )

I do this in my game (but only ironically for laughs) now and then. It's always funny as long as the players know I'm just joking around and it won't mean anything.

I always get the best unhinged belly laughs out of these skits! You boys are fantastic!

glad to see your half you mini model doing great. so cute. so smoll

Have you done a video about players who constantly decide for the DM when and what they're rolling? That's a good trope too.

I use a fair number of unnecessary rolls, but for those rolls failure is more like mildly silly success, and success is cool badassery success. Also helps give players something to do when all their desired actions are extremely mundane. You wanna roleplay shopping for clothes? Well suddenly changing room checks are a thing. But, conversely, if we are fighting a dragon in the ruins of an ancient kingdom you obviously don't need to roll to rip that damaged door off its hinges if you have 18 STR and are currently raging. I kind of view it like keeping the players' path interactive, so what I make them roll for depends on what is available to create an interaction out of. Mundane event, mundane rolls. Epic event, epic rolls.

I’m so happy when I see you and spencer and your kid just out here livin life, doing good things, being happy

this is like one of those kitchen supples commercials where no one can hang onto anything and their cupboards are avalances waiting to happen

Boggles my mind why DMs are like this, rolling should be for things where there is a reasonable expectation of failure. This is also why i love the concept of "take 10" in pathfinder, say i have a climb of +15, as long as I'm not in combat if the DC of the climb is 25 or less i can just make it with 0 rolls, and it prevents this sort of thing all together (also you cannot crit fail skills)

"how do I not hear a dragon?!" "the dragon rolled an 18" PURE GOLD RIGHT THERE hahhahaahha

DM: gives disadvantage on all rolls and explicitly reminds Jacob that he has disadvantage on the same roll. also DM: "well, I didn't consider that you might fail."

I love your matching jammies, and your baby is adorable. Good job!

Gygax RAW had the GM roll all the rolls, players just declared actions. Also the GM was the only one who *needed* to have the PC character sheets.

I love how Colton calmly describes the asinine results of every roll in such a matter-of-fact way.

"Colton and I improvised this whole video" From the description just made this entire video so much better.

Cool vid :) I am happier now, also I just beat totk which was cool

This sketch had me laughing harder than i have since watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail and am now imagining the hilarious chaos that would insue if Jacob and John Cleese ever met.

“The dragon rolled an 18” I’m dying 😂

This is like one of the funniest sketches ever ahah love this one so much. I love all of them but man i lost it on this one.

I rolled a 18 to post this comment

I went with the easy rules of: If they're not under pressure, and their passive in the stat passes, then they pass. Passives start at 10 plus whatever bonuses they have in the skill (which I'm only going to bother looking up if it's something they shouldn't know I'm rolling for), so anything DC 10 or lower is an auto-pass. You know, like the book says (but most people don't seem to know all skills have passives, not just perception) I have had them roll to break down a door, though it was specifically a bandit hideout's door with an alarm spell linked to the other side. A success would be they break down the door, a failure would be they break down the door but it was louder than expected or took longer or stumble into the room (triggering the alarm) or something that might be inconvenient to the situation but isn't directly harmful.

"roll a death save, i am just opening a door , opening doors is a pretty serious buisness"

"The squirrel has become the adopted son of a red dragon and it's waiting for you on the other side of the door."

As a GM it is up to u to decide when and where a player rolls for their character and if u care about pacing it can be one of the biggest contributing factors to player engagement. I refer to this as Micro/Macro storytelling - micro storytelling: important for things like combat and moments where decisions are important. Also for significant/intimate conversations > downside takes up a lot of game time - macro zoom: u can gloss over most conversations and make assumptions on the players behalf without any rolls for the sake of brevity. Most GMs are so zoomed in all the time and want to make every decision important that they forget this is an option. How do the party get to the tavern? Doesn't matter, they get there. Whats the general store like? Doesnt matter, the players just want rations. Macro checks are also great to make a player who built there character for a specific purpose feel great. If the rogue makes a stealth cheak to infiltrate a fotress u could make it a exhausting anciety inducing experience where every choice may lead to death, or u can assume from their one successful roll they made all the right decsions until the most critical junctions > downside: less intimate, more likely to miss opportunities to add atmosphere. Its okay to assume the big bad barbarian intimidates the child, or that the Ranger wins a fight against a bear, or that the Rogue blends into a seedy neighbourhood without a long line of questions and rolls to explain how their character does character things

Please do more of this improv videos, you got me laughing all the time, I haven't got a laughter like this in a long time.

the dm that makes you roll for everything also lets you roll for anything, well sometimes

I fn loved this. The amount of bluster and just being such unable to keep a straight face is perfect😂😂