Do Therapists Get Annoyed With Their Patients? Ask Kati Anything ep. 82

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Do Therapists Get Annoyed With Their Patients? Ask Kati Anything ep. 82 | Kati Morton podcast

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Do therapists get annoyed with their patients? Ask Kati Anything podcast ep. 82
1. Do therapists ever get annoyed when clients say “I don't know” a lot during sessions? I find myself saying I don't know to questions in sessions quite often, even if I do know, and I don't really know why I do that (for real don’t know this time). It just comes out and seems to be my go to phrase... 1:17
2. Do you ever get annoyed with your patients? I feel like I am annoying my therapist because I repeat judging myself and she keeps telling me that it's her job to sort through my thoughts and I should talk and not overthink it... 15:11
3. Do you have any advice on talking to therapists about their reactions to things said in therapy? Recently I disclosed to my therapist details about a specific instance of childhood sexual abuse that I have always found particularly shameful and had really been struggling with. At some point while I... 23:53
4. Slowly but surely I'm recovering from my burn-out. Now I'm wondering what I should do with my life. Something needs to change and I know for the sake of my own mental health that I need to quit my job. However, I have no idea what job I'd like to do instead. I can't seem to make up my... 35:15
5. Why do people not realize the abuse/toxic relationship/etc. they're in while it's happening? I didn't think I had been sexually assaulted until recently despite having an understanding of what sexual assault is. Do we put blinders on to protect ourselves? I feel like I can't trust my own judgement... 50:13
6. Would you consider being closeted a form of trauma? I came out at 18/19 after I was closeted for about 3 years. I'm now 24 and feel like these 3 years still affect me daily. I taught myself to hold myself back in so many ways, especially in what I say, in fear of "being found out". Even if the conversation isn't about sexuality or gender, it could be... 56:10
7. How do you get over past traumas? Once everything has been aired out in session I still don't understand how to deal with it or accept these facts. I still find myself replaying my past & it still makes me sad. How do you know if therapy is working for you? (COMMENT: And how can I get over my trauma, if it isolates me from people close to me and I can't talk to them about it? My mother sexually abused me... 1:03:13
8. How can I set boundaries, if I don’t even know where my boundaries are? Usually I feel like I don’t have boundaries. When someone looks at me I feel like they are already too close. And I can’t tell people not to look at me. Thank you for all you do. Have a lovely day. (COMMENT: I suck at setting boundaries too but similar to you when someone looks at me I feel like they know... 1:12:06
9. When therapists see clients with high suicide risks, what do you do to prevent them from carrying out the suicide plan? 1:22:41
10. I recently had a philosophy professor stand in front of the class and give a small lecture on self harm. we were talking about suicide and it’s relation to morals and that turned into a discussion on mutilation... 1:25:07
Timestamps Provided by: Lemonady!
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Пікірлер: 78

@Checker11011 2 жыл бұрын

You are like a warm cup of milk with honey in human form. I really wish to find a therapist like you.

@fatnorth723 2 жыл бұрын

My 3 reasons for saying I dont know were: 1. I actually don't know 2. I dont want to answer 3. I know what I want to say I just have no idea how to say it/put it in words.

@Lemonady 2 жыл бұрын

*Timestamps* Q1 - 1:17 Q2 - 15:11 Q3 - 23:53 Q4 - 35:15 Q5 - 50:13 Q6 - 56:10 Q7 - 1:03:13 Q8 - 1:12:06 Q9 - 1:22:41 Q10 - 1:25:07

@OTDM 2 жыл бұрын

SUPER! Thank you :)

@renamoda5450 2 жыл бұрын

Whoever puts time stamps on videos,gets an instant thumbs up from me!

@ipsykd40 2 жыл бұрын

Legend

@Allbeautylab 2 жыл бұрын

This needs to be pinned at the top

@Lemonady 2 жыл бұрын

@@OTDM You're welcome! I'll try to be consistent posting this timestamps when you upload.

@aussiemom3559 2 жыл бұрын

Dear Kati, I’ve seen a therapist for several years. This past year (3/2020-current) has been especially hard. There was some transference/counter transference happening. She was unaware of the counter transference… I even said recently ‘I’ve shared things with you and there was no response. I remember thinking ‘well I guess my history/story doesn’t really matter’. At one point I tried to share with her the struggles about that by saying ‘at times your lack of response is so much like the neglect I got as a child that I feel invisible again.” She still never seemed to see it for herself. A couple of weeks ago I had wanted to talk about something that had happened this time last year. I was so anxious about it that it was late in the session when I was finally calm enough to say ‘I want to talk about last fall’. Her response was ‘you have 6 minutes’. After about a minute I left. The next time I saw her she assumed I left because I had lost tract of time. I said ‘there are parts of me that are so scared of you that it took that long to get brave enough to talk to you. I was not being manipulative. It’s terrifying to bring things up. At times I wonder who the - - - - you think I am because you are not seeing me.’ I was not trying to hurt her but she still didn’t see that I was only part of the communication issue. Needless to say there will probably only be an email for closure. And I will hopefully find someone that is a better fit. That is why I feel it is important to at least get some acknowledgment/validation and not sit in silence for extended periods of time when something has been disclosed.

@aurelie8220 Жыл бұрын

My therapist will purposefully make a sad face/reaction and sometimes she’ll even point to her face directly and say something like “I’m just thinking about your situation” because when I explain something sad or scary, I’m completely disconnected with my emotions and say it in an upbeat, happy tone. So my therapist is modeling the proper emotion and response for me. I really like her and I appreciate it (I also think I’m slightly on the spectrum, so the modeling helps.)

@akosth2275 Жыл бұрын

Same for me. And she has me restate the statement without laughing. I hate that! But i get it.

@Twichl 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly, thank you for giving me permission to get a "low lift job". I didn't ask the question but it applies to me so so well. I've been under immense pressure, teetering on my breaking point for two years. I moved and haven't even tried to find a job because the lack of pressure has been so healing and I'm finally getting back the pieces of me that went awol. I've been going back to school and considering getting a position at the grocery or one of the shops just down the road, but struggling because it feels like going backward and not bettering my resume or giving me relevant experience for my chosen field. I really needed to hear this from a neutral voice.

@progressivedragon6664 2 жыл бұрын

Why does your theme always seem to align perfectly with what's going on in my practice every week?? It's eerie

@itsonlyatail 2 жыл бұрын

I had a therapist once told me” doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result is insanity .... I thought I was clear that I needed coping skills not that. That was the last time I saw her. My theorist now understands our goals of therapy. She’s great

@jessman8597 2 жыл бұрын

I really loved this video. I often feel like I annoy my therapist because I whine too much. I want to be positive, but I also want to be honest.

@menareshit3120 2 жыл бұрын

You literally are paying them to listen to you talk about your problems. And maybe work through them.

@laurarm771 2 жыл бұрын

I feel the exact same way :|

@ipsykd40 2 жыл бұрын

It's so weird how every time I think about a question to ask, it's always brought up in the current AKA episode that I'm watching.

@laurenh9678 2 жыл бұрын

Collective consciousness at play ;)

@adamwells6079 2 жыл бұрын

Re: #10, a lot of my college professors had colossal egos and could not admit a mistake to save their lives. I don't know what it is about higher academia that attracts these kinds of people or allows them to develop these attitudes but it definitely skews your idea of what normal behavior should look like from your superiors in the post-college world.

@Roswell33 11 ай бұрын

I've had several bad therapists after having a great one. They got frustrated that I wasnt getting better on their timeline and didn't believe me when I said I'm Autistic. There are many bad therapists in NZ.

@smoupnhoize 2 жыл бұрын

I've had therapists cry. I've had other repeatedly (I mean REPEATEDLY) apologize. I've also had a therapist basically "pause" the session because he got so angry he needed time to decompress. These were all on first session broad overview type of stories, not the details. Needless to say, I never shared the details with any of them because I didn't think, given their initial reactions, it would go over well.

@juneack5848 2 жыл бұрын

Fascinating. Everyone deserves chance to get better, but that is interesting. The only healers I ever had issues with were ones I weren’t compatible with. The ones you are, feels like a healing session, so ego seems to not exist in that realm

@britny2249 2 жыл бұрын

I love when you answer questions I didn't know I had or didn't know how to ask them :) great video as usual

@SelkiesSong 11 ай бұрын

I just had my first appointment and apparently I am definitely the 'verbal vomit' type lol; I am a bad story teller in general, I jump all over the place. I don't envy my therapist if she's trying to actually put a timeline together cuz I'm a rambling mess I think I'm still coming to terms with how deeply I was affected by my mom's behavior growing up. A lot of the stuff I talked about I have thought about and reflected on but had never put actual words to or told another person about. My physical reaction to that session was probably the biggest wake up call for me: I shook the whole session (which is kind of normal for me when I'm stressed / interviewing, so I didn't think much of it ) but then I had I horrible tension headache that lasted for 36 hours after the fact, and I find myself struggling to remember some of the things she said toward the end of the session about the treatment plan, payment, etc, which makes me wonder if I was dissociating at that point. Just surprised at how my body reacted even though I didn't really feel anything all that strongly during the session itself.

@raywood8187 2 жыл бұрын

That therapist 'how are you' question seems a bit awkward. So I just started responding- well, if I was fine, would I be here to see you? It breaks the bit of tension I feel, at least at the therapist. I learned a long time ago that when someone I don't know asks me how I am, usually they just want to hear 'fine' and would rather I not elaborate on how I REALLY feel or me expound on why.

@natascha_mephisto 2 жыл бұрын

I always thought that my therapist wouldn’t get annoyed… till last week. I have some trouble with dissociation, and I spaced out a little. I asked her if she could tell me the question again and she suddenly looks really frustrated and says, “Are you serios???!!!!!”. With BPD and social anxiety both kicking in I tried to talk myself out of it very quickly like “I listened. I got your question, but could you be a little more specific?”. It was okay after a while but now I am so scared to piss her off again. I hope she had just a bad day but that thought doesn’t help with the even more intense fear I have now.

@too_tired_for_this 2 жыл бұрын

Holy cow!!! That sound completely inappropriate of your therapist! I hope you can find someone better!!!!

@natascha_mephisto 2 жыл бұрын

@@too_tired_for_this She is actually quite good. I will talk to her about it and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out well, I will look for a different one but that could be really hard (I waited a year to get this one). Thank you for the validation that helps me a lot! ^^

@suzannep 2 жыл бұрын

@@natascha_mephisto If someone says that to a client they are unfortunately not quite good at their job. Having a client ask a therapist to repeat a question is such a basic and common thing, if she can not handle that without acting extremely inappropriately then she is not very good at her job. What she said is extremely inappropriate. I know your probably trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but some behaviors are basic human kindness to not do, and she crossed over that, and she is in a position of being a professional where she is expected to have her own crap under control.

@natascha_mephisto 2 жыл бұрын

@@suzannep I agree… So, I talked to her about it, and she said I should not come back till I have my life under control and till I actually want treatment. I do anything she asks of me, and I try my best… now my motivation has hit the ground and I can try to build it up again. Yey. Sounds healthy. I am extremely frustrated and a little desperate. But I guess it will get better.

@angelika.medvedeva 2 жыл бұрын

@@natascha_mephisto she sucks and shouldn’t have gotten a license in the first place. I am so so so sorry you had to experience this on top of everything you have to deal with. It can and will get better, there are options out there ❤️

@nancyliawoods 6 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@too_tired_for_this 2 жыл бұрын

I told my therapist that it’s a hard week, and she squeezed in an extra appointment. I feel like I don’t deserve her extra time.

@natascha_mephisto 2 жыл бұрын

Just some thoughts I have about this: You definitely deserve this. You are worth it. You are worth so much even if you can’t see it. She wouldn’t offer this if she hadn’t time for it or thought that you don’t need it. In my family we have a saying “take it and say thank you” cause my great grandma always gave us a little amount money if we came over. Nobody ever felt that they deserved it but “just take it and say thank you”. If you are uncomfortable with this, you should tell them in your next session. Always remember that this is your point of view and not automatically theirs. This is their job and if you need extra care you deserve to get it. They wouldn’t do this if it were a burden. Try to be not so hard on yourself.

@menareshit3120 2 жыл бұрын

Also she gets paid for it. You pay for her time.

@spiritousgore6153 2 жыл бұрын

Lady, I am LOVING that shirt ❤

@OTDM 2 жыл бұрын

Well thank you! xoxo

@user-qo9xu6fe5x 2 жыл бұрын

same! Where did you get it from? Also, as always, great episode. Even though I've followed you on KZfaq for like 2 years, I am still amazed at how empathetic and smart you are and how much experience you have had in the mental health spectrum. So thanks for a supporting so many people, it makes me feel less lonely ❤️😍

@anaaremeresipere 2 жыл бұрын

For people who are burnt out and not knowing what to do, maybe you can take some paid sick leave? I think it depends on the state/country but if that's available to you, I highly recommend it as a break. A month or more, enough to get you disconnected from the current stressor, so you can figure things out.

@menareshit3120 2 жыл бұрын

I tried that but it only worked while I was not working. Did not feel better at all when I had to go back to work. Felt worse actually after having time to realize how messed up this capitalism garbage is.

@tanhuang_nua 2 жыл бұрын

Question 4 is so spot on 💎

@AJOG14433 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you kati. I hope you’re having a wonderful day 😀💯💙✌🏽

@OTDM 2 жыл бұрын

You too!!

@user-qo9xu6fe5x 2 жыл бұрын

after a long waiting period (your book already challenged me by teaching me patience ^^) your book finally arrived at my place today. I'm so happy and I am amazed at how beautiful it is! And when I read the second sentence of your dedication, I felt touched and addressed already. This way I instantly knew I held the right book in my hands. Now I am probably looking at a sleepless night full of reading, but for once it's the good sort of sleepless ❤️

@sieannalynn5040 2 жыл бұрын

I've had a few therapist point out me saying I dont know I genuinely didnt know I was saying it often. One of my therapist tell me if I didnt stop saying I dont know she was gonna throw paper clips at me everytime i would say it ofc she was playing around. My recent therapist also pointed it out and how I say I don't know when she brings up a serious topic and asks a question and told me to try and ask myself why I say I dont know or it doesnt matter( Still trying to figure out why I say that)

@menareshit3120 2 жыл бұрын

Probably disassociation and the inability to emotionally think about traums long enough to come up with a different answer. Your therapist honestly should have talked with you about that why if they didn't.

@annywei5323 2 жыл бұрын

I was having suicidal thoughts last month, I’m good now. I was very cooperative before that. During that period, however, whenever my therapist asked me about my suicidal thoughts and plans, I got so sneaky. I lied a lot without even realizing it. I frequently asked questions to test her. I told her I wouldn’t die, but I made a plan right after that. She spent a whole session forced me to spit out my suicidal plan, and I made another one right away at that night. And I was smiling all the time! I feel sorry for her, I feel I really gave her hard time. How do you therapist think about clients like me? Would therapists feel frustrated by situations like this?

@Krogangirl54 2 жыл бұрын

I hope you are doing better. You should post this as a question for the next video when Kati makes the post asking for questions. From what Kati has responded in prior videos therapists get lied to every day. It comes with the territory. I think mainly they would be concerned about you especially because secretive behavior is common with suicidality. I feel like it would be good if you are in a place to tell your therapist about how you felt in that time and how you feel after.

@annywei5323 2 жыл бұрын

@@Krogangirl54 thx! I’m new here I don’t know how to post questions

@Krogangirl54 2 жыл бұрын

@@annywei5323 Usually there is a post on Sunday morning asking for questions. Click on the channel page and go to the Community tab. Also there a group on Facebook that is a supportive community. :)

@annywei5323 2 жыл бұрын

@@Krogangirl54 thx!

@Malin0908 Жыл бұрын

My therapist show no emotion. Only emotion i ever «saw» was her bring bored or annoyed. I am not sure if it was only my assumption that she was doing this face 🙄 or if she actually did. I just keep feeling like that’s how she feels whenever i’m in my session so next session i will tell her i am ending therapy. I really liked her at some point, but that’s something i came to realise during or work. I always seem to like The people i feel dont like me. It was an eye opener, a break trough for me. I will try to manage stuff on my own. I know i need to work on a lot of things, but i am not willing to do that anymore with someone who seem bored and annoyed by my presence. The last few days i just cut off my emotional connection i had with her and i do not care anymore. It’s just blank.

@annellealexander4025 2 жыл бұрын

Hey everybody, Happy Thursday 😊❤

@ipsykd40 2 жыл бұрын

Also Kati could you do a blue and orange thumbnail? I love that combination.

@diablominero 2 жыл бұрын

I have a cold, which sucks, and it's waking up my asthma (which otherwise is very well controlled), so that's unpleasant too. If I weren't on several meds that are stimulating as a side effect (Albuterol and my decongestant), I'd probably be really unhappy right now. But stimulants, so my emotional state feels like it's being artificially held in the happy or nervous region of emotion-space. Any time I start to feel anything else, I can feel myself getting dragged back. This is wack.

@natascha_mephisto 2 жыл бұрын

Maybe you should speak with your doctor. Till you figure this out I send you lots of hugs and support. This sucks and I hope it gets easier for you soon. ^^

@diablominero 2 жыл бұрын

@@natascha_mephisto no, no, I'm mildly happy, and from past experience I know I'll be healthy again in a few days. There's no need to talk to a doctor. It's just that there's the ghost of annoyance floating over the happy, because when I see something sad or irritating I don't feel anything about it, and I'm reflexively expecting annoyance.

@natascha_mephisto 2 жыл бұрын

@@diablominero Now I get it. Sorry for my misinterpretation. I understand that that can be frustrating cause life shouldn’t just exist in the happy state (or the sad or empty etc.). Life is a mix of feelings.

@MS-ns4ki 7 ай бұрын

Mine does lol

@daniellange4772 2 жыл бұрын

today i learned the words "as an add-on" triggers me.

@zabetheugoh2636 Жыл бұрын

My therapist wants to start working on Trauma Processing tomorrow. I've been seeing my therapist for almost 2 years now. I have had some ups and downs. But I think I am ready to move on.. I was sexually assaulted 2019. By my husband he beat the CRAP out of me. Set me on fire and left me to burn in our house... I moved clear across the states to hide from him and his family. He is in prison. But I am Mentally disabled from this. Is there a treatment I can get so I can block these memories.

@lauragore5489 2 жыл бұрын

How did you create your intro jingle

@favored81 2 жыл бұрын

I do email my counselor alot..... I need to stop probably she said she don't mind... but

@Vyjayanthi41 2 жыл бұрын

I was abused by my patient in India. Her mother enabled the father's abuse and sister was the golden child . So , my client developed an abusive transference. She would argue with anything I said. If I reflected or repeated her own sentence to her , she would get furious. Finally I terminated therapy, since I could not handle the abuse.

@menareshit3120 2 жыл бұрын

Abuse? Really? Do not be a therapist.

@laramauss1948 2 жыл бұрын

I often think I bore people, BUT I talk about deep stuff like philosophical questions or science or even finance strategies. These are to heavy issues for most people/women And when I realize they don’t follow and look uninterested, I feel sad.

@menareshit3120 2 жыл бұрын

Shhhhh with the bs misogyny in there.

@La-PetitMort 6 ай бұрын

@Deimnos 4 ай бұрын

Sorry but no! So here is the thing about the thing with the therapist that covered her mouth when the patient was talking about Chilhood Sexual Abuse: the gesture is interpreted by the client, without any basis whatsoever and you as a therapist should have picked up on that and realized that there is no basis in the interpretation. Yes, they should ask for clarification, but you went ahead with the "interpretation" of the client and doubled down on it when you shoulnd not have! Personally i find therapist reactions validating and healing, and it is CLEAR in that case that the client used their own feelings and ways of seeing themselves and projected them on the therapist. And then you picked that up and ran with it.