"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." - Robin Williams "If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, s**cide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." - (also) Robin Williams

We need to blow up the engagement on this video and make it go viral. THIS IS THE TYPE OF THING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE NEED TO SEE

People who don't go through it can't appreciate it. To be spending hours a week learning and reflecting on how you did something, how you could have done it better, wondering how others interpreted it, wondering if what you did was enough. To spend YEARS of your life where every move you make is evaluated and could make or break your future. A future that is so dependent on a system that doesn't allow for emotion or mistakes and is hinged on hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. Where you get paid minimum wage but your decisions can and will change someone's life, and potentially end it. For people to disregard all the additional effort you are putting in OUTSIDE of your 80-hour residency weeks to make these videos for those who are in medicine or hope to be there someday is so disappointing. You don't owe anyone anything except yourself. Be kind to yourself Rachel. You know how hard it is and that's enough. Much love for you.

This is a conversation that needs to be had at every workplace

Depression in residency is SO common. More people should be open like this

From someone who went the other route and quit, it saved my life. Your life is not defined by your profession, and there is purpose beyond medicine. You are allowed to choose yourself. It’s not a weakness, walking away from something you’ve worked towards your entire life is the bravest thing I’ve done. It will be okay. When a plant is struggling to thrive, we don’t blame the plant, we blame the environment. Love yourself enough to change your environment if you need to 💗💗💗

I’m a dental hygienist and I completely regret going into this field. It’s miserable! I just recently quit, not sure what to do next but I’m praying that the right path will come my way

As a medical student who felt depressed during my surgical rotation, this brings me to tears. It is so real and I am so sorry and I really needed to watch this video.

Not a doctor, but I am a suicide widow. My husband was diagnosed bipolar, but it was never severe, with mild to moderate mania in his teens and 20s. He was never suicidal. From diagnosis, he on medication for 15 years, and he never had one episode while medicated. It became a non-issue in our life. He was an extremely hard-working business owner and wonderful husband & dad. The week he turned 45, after having no episodes since he was diagnosed at 29, he thought it was safe to take a break from his meds, stopping them abruptly. He hung himself 3 weeks later. I found him. Four weeks later, my mom was diagnosed with terminal lung and brain cancer, dying months later and the same year my best friend died of cardiac complications from Type 1 Diabetes. I never had any sign of depression, but now, I am on an antidepressant. Severe grief lead to depression which I couldn't shake so finally went to my doctor.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing this, Rachel! This is the type of video that saves lives. Best KZfaq video I’ve seen all year, hands-down. Grateful to know you, and looking forward to meeting you in person one day. Your patients are lucky to have you.

I won’t be able to watch the rest of your video. My 24 son took his life June28/2022 and it is still too fresh. Thank you for sharing this. My son suffered with autism, anxiety, depression, ocd and several other disorders. He was medication resistant and he was starting to experience psychotic episodes. He wanted to be a social worker, not a doctor, but life was too difficult. If you can help one person then this is worth it.

This video hits home. A CT surgeon who I knew well recently died from suicide. I would have never guessed he was struggling. 20+ years as an established physician with a good practice and family. It is absolutely heartbreaking that this is the reality we live in.

I am a clinical psychologist and I think your videos gave a great input in my decision to continue my education with a master’s in “clinical psychology applied to the hospital setting”. I really want to make the difference for both hospital staff AND patients. I think it’s really important to work with both. 2020 really taught us a lesson about this! Some of the things you talked about in previous videos were really inspiring for me. I’m really sorry to hear about your struggles and I’m super happy you’re doing better. I hope other people watching this can be inspired to ask for help when in need.

This is what strong, good people look like. It is tough, and we all need support.

I was at my lowest during residency. I quit, and now I'm the happiest I've ever been. My family and friends are not disappointed, but supportive. I'm so glad I did it. I wasn't happy at all during it, and I wouldn't have been happy when it was over either working as an attending

It hasn't changed much because it's like a taboo topic. Many residents are silently suffering and enduring. I'm glad that you came through.

The health care system / medical schools in the US and across the world really has to do a serious review of the residents' experience, the pressures, the insane hours they work, and the support systems that are or are not in place!!

Thank you for making this video. I was told by my cardiologist 3 weeks before my MCAT that I would never be a doctor because he saw that I was taking mental health medication, even though he knew that I was sexually assaulted by my best friend in college. Fast forward a few months later, I got a good score, but still full of doubts. It was nice to see this and how honest you were.

Oooo girl, so proud of you for this. I’m a psychiatric RN and boy do I suffer too. My most recent and intense ideations was in November, 2 months after I graduated and into my first job. I felt so confused, ‘why do I feel like this when it’s all I’ve ever wanted’. Luckily my workplace picked up on it too and were super supportive. Thank you for being so transparent, this disorder truly TRULY does not discriminate x

4th year med student here ✋🏾 definitely bookmarking this for residency. Thank you so much for being vulnerable about this because this is truly the reality of it all.

Hi Rachel, I came across your channel in 2020, shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic hit the United States. At that time, I was pursuing a software engineering, computer science, and biology degree, along with several minors. I was going through a rough patch in my life, and my depression was at an all-time high. I struggled to focus on my studies and lacked the motivation to do anything. That's when I stumbled upon your videos, and they made a significant impact on me. Your videos showed me that I wasn't alone in my struggles and that success is still possible despite these challenges. I left my first comment on your video in 2021, where I talked about adding a premed concentration to my already long list of goals and thanked you for creating the content that you do. I eventually dropped some of those minors to make room for the premed concentration. Fast forward to 2022, and I'm happy to inform you that I got accepted into medical school, an osteopathic one, no less! I'm currently in my first year as a medical student, and things are looking good. However, I still experience feelings of depression, just like before. Your videos continue to inspire me and many others, as evident from the comments section on every post. So, thank you for sharing your videos. Thank you for sticking to your guns and continuing to post raw videos like these despite the fears of the fear of the public's negative stigma towards mental health disorders. I hope to continue to see you unapologetically be yourself and, in doing so continue to inspire and lift up other people like myself. Cheers!

As someone who has experienced depression and suicidal ideation and also a mental health counselor, thank you so much for sharing. The more you speak out, the more awareness and less stigma there will be. So proud of you. In Utah, a law was passed that allows physicians, nurses, mental health providers, police, fire, and EMTs, if needing inpatient care, to can go to a surrounding state for inpatient care at in-network rates. We lost several physicians to suicide, and they want them to get help and not be near where they work.

went to med school in Uganda and happened to do my internship during the second wave of COVID-19. I had always observed patients die and helped nurses do last office as a student. but doing a 36hour shift and loosing over 20 patients only at A&E and then coming back after a break of 12 hours for another 8 hour shift and loosing another 20 or more and this went on for about a month, I completely lost myself, exhausted in every aspect of the human sphere and knew I had hit rock bottom, after internship, i didnt even bother looking for a job. i just sat at home for a whole year before applying to my first job coz i needed that break from all the rigor of medschool and a traumatic internship. You are strong Rachel

Sending you the biggest hug, Dr. Rachel. Residency is a tough thing doctors go through. I’m sending you strength and love! Keep hanging in there! ❤

I’ve been following you since my first year of medical school and I’m now an M4 and I can’t emphasize enough how powerful watching this video was. You’re so brave and I’m so inspired by you!

Dr.Southard thank you for the honesty. The patients who have you as a doctor are very lucky.Cheers.

Mental health is so important, especially in our field.

As someone who wants to be a doctor, this is so pivotal to hear & honestly scary. I know it gets better over time (as other doctors say) but when you're in the thick of it *as you currently are*, it seems very daunting and scary. I'm glad you have your people & other outlets. Thanks for sharing and being open about this.

Hey Rach! I’m so happy about your transparency and highly anticipate this video. A lot of doctors and medical students are UNHAPPY even though they won’t convey that on social media. I’ve seen it reflect in their attitudes towards themselves, each other, their patients and people in general. There’s nothing noble or gratifying about the rigorous training we go through. I hope reform comes in a timely manner.

After dealing in heavy SI and depression in 2017, residency was something I've been worried about because of those issues. Thanks Rachel for posting this. Makes feel like I can handle it because you've gone through it too.

Imagine those who aren't as emotional intelligent and walk around in scrubs.....the system I believe needs to improve. Thank you for this video...for your authenticity.

It’s so refreshing to have honesty and transparency nowadays because so many people on social media try to have this perfect looking lifestyle that is just not reality. THANK YOU for being brave enough to do this video. I am a nurse and although I haven’t been in your shoes, I can definitely relate to what you are saying. There isn’t enough mental support (or care) for medical workers and I feel this is really negatively impacting the nurse and Dr professions, and ultimately patient care.

Depression is very real...I have lived with it for many years 😢. Only now have I come to terms with it and try my best every day. Thank you Dr. Rachel for giving this the voice it needs.

I watched this and just cried. My sister is a EM resident and I’m terrified every day that I’ll lose her to this process.

Thank you for shedding light on these incredibly important issues!! Its honestly crazy what y'all go through as residents and I am looking forward to positive change continuing to take place! It can't go on like this! Sending you so much love and I'm so happy to see you genuinely joyful :)

And this is why I will always be an avid follower and fan of your channel, Rachel!! Thanks for always speaking the hard truths and sharing with the rest of the world how you are feeling. I definitely felt this one deep to the core, as a fellow 2nd year DO student, with boards coming up very soon, and all the anxiety/stress that goes along with that. Keep doing amazing things and take care of yourself, Rachel!

Thank you for being raw and real with this video

The struggle is so very real Rachel. I admire your grace and fortitude. Always adapt as we fight for change. 🙏🏽

Thank you for sharing this-I can only imagine how much strength it takes to post something like this, please know it is greatly appreciated!

Rachel, thank you for opening up and sharing with us. You have always been my inspiration, the thing that keeps me focused and motivated. Your videos helped me through the MCAT, first year of med school, and now board prep. What you are doing is so beautiful and I just want you to know how influential and inspiring you have been for me. You matter so much, and I just applaud you for opening up and being so vulnerable with us.

Thank you Rachel. Going through this is so hard and feeling isolated only makes it so much worse. Today, you have made me feel less alone. Thank you for your efforts to make change and spread awareness ♥️♥️

Blessings to you. I have been through such feelings a number of times, and I say that these things are never as bad as they feel in the moment. Keep yous ocial connections strong, stay active, and don't hesitate to talk to folks (as you stress in the vid). You have been an inspiration, and I look forward to seeing you continue to grow.

Thank you for this video. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I hope it only gets better from here. Keep opening up about these issues and keep fighting for your dreams. You inspire a lot of people on this channel. Keep going ❤️💪

Thank you SO MUCH for opening up at talking about this. I needed to hear this today

I relate to this so much. I was depressed at one point and no one had any idea. It is scary how we can hide it so well like you said. I’m happy you’re here Rachel! I also can’t believe that I am still here pursuing my dreams of becoming a physician. Life is worth living. ❤

thank you so much for sharing this part of your story. im sure this is going to help soooo many people, myself included. thank you for making me feel less alone, thank you for being so real and human. youre gonna go very far!!

Thank you for being so vulnerable. I needed to hear this.

You are so strong Rachel. Thank you so much for opening up, being real, and talking about such a sensitive subject with the utmost grace and honesty. Always routing for you Dr. Southard

Thank you, Rachel, for posting this!! ❤

I admire you so much for being real with us. God bless you Dr. Southard

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this video. I was struggling with depression and SI during my first semester of college. The workload was so intense. I’m doing much better now. Thank you for always spreading warmth, light, and kindness! Love you dearly Dr. Rachel!

Rachel this came at the exact perfect time for me :’) thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences

i´m so proud of u for talking about it. I love enjoy your journey and I think it´s so important bring this kind of subject cause a lot people feel the same way. I admire u so much!

Thank you for being so vulnerable, I appreciate this as I’ve struggled with this as a healthcare professional as well. Thanks for helping remove the stigma, and also providing statistics. The depression and anxiety during my professional working experience has only affected me while at work, when I wasn’t at work I would feel absolutely fine. There have been moments where I thought I’d be better off doing something else. Thanks for also saying it gets better because it truly does.

This is a conversation that needed to be had!! We love you, we support you and we are all so proud of how far you’ve come!! ❤️🫶🏻 -fellow pa student 🥹

Such a fantastic video. You are incredibly inspiring. Thank you for continuing to go against the grain and speaking up for those with no voice.

Thank you for sharing this with us we appreciate you Rachael!

I’m a 4th year going into psychiatry and can really relate to this. Thank you for posting this and being so transparent

Thank you, Rachel, for being so honest. We've got your back, and just thank you for your videos!!!

Dr. Southard! I remember the first time I ever watched one of your videos… it was about 5-6 months ago. It popped up on my page and I thought, this seems interesting let me watch! After that first video, I never stopped. Your realism, your genuineness, all of it inspired me to go on, into nursing! I could see how sad you were in those videos, and it shows you just how hard the healthcare field as a whole can be! Not feeling good enough. I come back weekly to watch your videos and I truly enjoy seeing how happy you’ve been! I know that things will continue to get better for you, we all go through these hiccups in life that can have us questioning everything.. I’ve been there. You are doing the best that you can, focus on YOU! Best of luck to you ♥️

Bless your heart and soul Rachel ❤ thank you for sharing all these hard feelings, you make such valid arguments ❤

I want to hug you, and squeeze you, and love you. I am so grateful to hear that you've pushed through those hard times. You and YOUR EXISTENCE is SO important to US!!! We love you Rachel!!!

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, you are so brave for sharing❤

So glad to hear you are feeling better.

Thank you so much for making this video - It couldnt have come at a better time for me. I’m an M2 currently studying for Step 1 and this past semester has been so challenging for me mentally. I was in such a dark place and felt so much shame, I’m just now crawling out of it and started seeing a therapist again last week. Thank you so much for speaking up about physician mental health - Were human too and theres still SUCH a stigma that really compounded the pain I was already feeling. I hope you know you brought so much comfort to at least one medical stduent, thank you for all you do, you’re an amazing doc snd were so lucky to have you!!!!❤

Wow. You’re literally such an inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing this. I will tell you that this helped me as I’m currently going through a rough period.

Rachel, I hope you know you are so loved and I’m so proud of you. I don’t know you in person but your videos and ability to open up are so humbling. Keep changing lives.

As an MS4 who is about to match next week, thank you for everything that you do. Been watching you for a while now and you’ve made me feel so comforted in this process. ❤

Super duper important conversation you are having! Thank you for putting compassion over fear and for making this video 💙

I admire you so much, thank you for being vulnerable

I am so glad you spoke on this. I want to got to medical school but watching your journey had me worried. But hearing this today made me feel so much better. I hope more people understand how to overcome this no matter their circumstances. 😊

Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments like these

Rachel, this brought tears to my eyes! I started watching your videos when you first started medical school five years ago. You have overcome every adversity life has thrown you, and you continue to conquer this life! Keep making a difference, we are cheering you on!

You are so brave and I really appreciate you openly talking about something so important!! Thank you 💕

Your patients are so lucky to have you Rachel. I can resonate with everything you described here as I went through this in my career as a teacher. I had to leave which was the best thing for me but now I feel lost and need a new purpose. I’m glad you have made this video and it will help so many people. ❤

I just matched OBGYN and I love your videos; thanks for keeping it 100 with us. It really sets expectations and how its so important to take care of you so you can better take care of your patients!

Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration to all of us!

Really appreciate your courage in making this video Rachel, thank you very much.

You are so right, I’m a nurse and just because we have the training and education on how to promote wellness needs, doesn’t mean we are immune to becoming unwell. No one is immune. I unfortunately suffered from post natal depression with psychosis after my second son, I was so so unwell, I was a true danger to myself, constant suicidal ideation- day and night, like a magnet, I was controlled by uncontrollable thoughts! I was so sick that it took me a long time to even understand I was unwell, I knew I was out of control and I was sick worried that my condition could slip even further and I’d become a danger to my children, thank goodness I still had a slither of insight left. Even after getting help it took over two years and around 10 different medications over the years to try and stabilise my symptoms. I really wish more Doctors could be more understanding and know the importance of really listening to their patients.

You are so inspirational Dr. Rachel! Thank you for sharing your story! This video has given me lots of insight as well as lessons that I will carry through my dream of becoming a doctor like you!

Rachel, been fairly recently watching you posts. Keep coming back because I’m impressed that you are so naturally human, unpretentious. You have such a wide array of fine qualities. Being depressed sometimes, given your current path, shows that you are paying attention and you’re not a robot. In view of all of your fine qualities it is clear you will succeed at whatever you decide is right for you. Don’t know if your current program is right for you. You will have to decide that. Going through life, including the low points and disappointments, is generally interesting and certainly full of life lessons. Keep paying attention, keep learning. Never know what is around the corner. Good luck in your journey. Bless you.

Your honesty and clarity will do more healing than you can ever expect. ❤ you are so supported.

Thank you thank you thank you for this video! I feel like the true experiences of residency are soo sugarcoated, and I love how honest you were about it. I'm also hoping and praying for better. I can't thank you enough for this video

Really glad you're doing better Rachel. Please continue to be good to yourself.

Thank you for advocating for residents and for talking about tough topics like depression. So glad to hear you're feeling better. ❤

I’m really impressed by your honesty and bravery in making this video!

Thank you for sharing this and being vulnerable and open about mental health. Stay bright and best of luck 💞

Youre genuinely so brave and we need more people like you shedding light on matters like this. Youre starting a much needed movement in healthcare and we are all here for it to support and be part of it any way we can. Thank you.

You are helping so many others with this video….❤ I am not on the medical field but I think this applies to a lot of others, thank you ❤

This video speaks volumes to your kind empathetic heart. I hope you are able to make the changes to want to make. I’ve been in that dark place and am so grateful I came out the other side. You are an amazing physician and human for bringing awareness to this topic. So many people will be able to relate, and maybe this video is what sparks them to get the help they didn’t want to admit or realize they really needed ❤

Thank you so much for sharing. I also struggle with depression and this year as an MS2 there were points when I didn’t think I would make it. It forced me to stop and reconsider what it meant to take care of myself and ask for the help I needed. Now, I’m studying for Step 1, and even though it is still stressful I’m taking care of myself and remembering my “why”. Thank you again for sharing and helping to push back against the Mental Health Stigma in medicine 💜💜

I’m literally in tears Rachel I can relate to you so much, and I literally take my hat off for you to keep pushing and getting the support you needed your such an inspiration even to people not in the medical field. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Rachel I love that you’ve made this video. During my first semester of medical school I became so depressed and questioned if it was for me. I passed all my courses but left with depression and wanting to quit that I took a leave of absence for one year. That year reinforced this was the path for me. Currently an MS3 and still very much in love with this path even on the hardest days I know I wouldn’t want to do anything else. I am terrified of residency but seeing this video gives me hope. Thank you!!

I'm in residency training too and I relate so much to what you said. I suffer from depression too and every single day is such a battle. I'm sending you positive thoughts and vibes.

Thank you so much for this video. I'm a 2 year med student in Brazil and I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a really long time. Watching your videos really has been helping me to keep fighting towards becoming a doctor.

Thank you so much for making this video Dr. Southard, it is so incredibly brave of you!! And yes we need so much more openness with mental health and checking in on our HCPs regularly! I am a nurse and am working toward becoming a DO. Depression I’ve experienced at times working as a nurse and a huge lack of support in the past from my healthcare teams made me question so many things about my future. Luckily, there are other teams out there that will provide more support and check-ins like you said! For me, the biggest thing was being afraid of the “confidentiality” that you mention, and discrediting my chances of becoming a physician. Again, I am glad you are bringing these things to light, and that you are doing better ♥️ we got this!

I absolutely commend your vulnerability and transparency I feel like as health care professionals we’re often looked at as “ superhumans “ and our bad days aren’t as accepted , it’s very important to shed light to that side of things and your so brave and strong I feel the same way as a nurse so I can only imagine how much pressure you can be enduring as a Physician and I appreciate this video so much I know I’m not alone ❤️ you got this !!

Thank you this helped me. I'm in school right now and facing this. This is encouraging me as I'm facing something similar. I also want to keep going to help future generations have a better time. Thank you.

Thank you!! I am in my last year of psychology to become registered and my personal life is falling apart. On top of that, the constant critique, deep reflection and learning is so damn tiring on top of a full time "job" re internship. Thanks for posting this

thank you so much for posting this. I am a hospital social worker and have so much respect for the residents I work with.