It's been a year since this video was uploaded. I just watched it. In case you haven't realized yet let me say that: When he didn't care for you while you were sick, he made the call. When he wasn't with you when you got COVID, he made the call When he chose his friends and going out with that girl, he made the call When he engaged more with another girl than his wife, he made the call When he threw that hammer at you, he made the call When he said "I don't see the point" during therapy, he made the call. You have nothing to feel shame for. You stood up for yourself and that's the bravest thing you could have done, especially at your age, and especially when being religious and believing in marriage.

Michel- it’s not your fault. Please stop blaming yourself. There’s no excuse for cheating on your marriage or showing violence. He should have ended the relationship properly before moving on. Your marriage was over as soon as he cheated on you and did not even have the consideration to come clean and tell you to your face. You deserve all the love and respect. I’m glad you are learning to vocalize what you want. Love yourself first and the rest will follow. ❤️

As a married man, I have to say, you absolutely did the right thing. People nowadays all too often throw away their marriage for frivolous and selfish reasons, however this is not one of them. Nobody deserves to be emotionally alienated, used, lied to, cheated on and physically intimidated. You seem like a genuinely nice lady and I wish you the best.

Him getting a hotel while you had Covid isn't okay. Him leaving you afterwards isn't okay. I know this was a year ago, but you deserved so much more! Wanting care and nurturing and RESPECT is not asking too much.

Infidelity and feeling physically unsafe in any situation is no excuse. The truth of the matter is that you are a kind human being who deserves the world and someone who treats you like it.

I’m so impressed that you took the first sign of violence so seriously. That is especially difficult for women raised in faith beliefs. There’s nothing in single life as lonely as a bad marriage. You’ll have a wonderful future.

I can tell you from experience, it is so wonderful to be free from a bad marriage. I was verbally and emotionally abused for 26 years. Here I am 7 years later and 6 years into a relationship with a wonderful, caring and loving man. Enjoy your freedom and then someone will come along who is going to treat you right.

Him even just throwing the hammer in your direction is abuse. Good for you for getting out! ❤

If he cheated on you with her. He will eventually cheat on her with someone else.. it is a cycle .. You are stronger than you were over a year ago.. you have so much to look forward to . Thanks for sharing your story

This was me/exes in every relationship until I met my fiancé. Long term serious relationships with men who refuse to discuss thier feelings, refuse to work on themselves, emotionally or physically abusive, and infidelity. Breaking that cycle is huge. I'm glad you left. Happy to see you are engaged and happier now.

As someone who has survived a narcissistically abusive relationship, I am so, so proud of you. Well done, well done, well done girl - for sharing your story, for finding the words, for learning the vocab, for giving yourself grace and compassion and soft love, for walking away, for holding compassion for his trauma, for still holding him accountable for his behaviour (that doesn't nullify your compassion), for being brave, for choosing you, for prioritising your wellness, for staying strong, for letting the tears flow, for being authentic, for choosing to trust. I am so proud of you. May you always find the new-found words to express your needs and boundaries and advocate for yourself going forward. Sending the biggest, warmest, hug from the UK. There is no shame in your story, there is no fear in love. God bless you. You go girl. God's got him, and God's got you.

He took the cowardly route. He strung you along until he made you miserable enough to to leave. No one deserves that. Hope you’re doing okay

This man lost an incredible woman. You are strong, compassionate, and loyal. Until the very end you gave all you could. As hard as it was, I know it was a major blessing that you got out when you did. You have your whole life ahead of you still. A life a safety and security that he would have never provided. You should be proud of yourself!

I'm going through a divorce and find it healing and comforting to hear others stories. I'm so sorry about what you went through. I'm glad you got out and can heal.

He took advantage of your sweet and kind nature. Keep being you because you’re just amazing ❤️❤️

I think these days people don’t discuss what led to the divorce and it’s unhelpful. There are reasons why people get divorced and discussing it might help others not make those mistakes.

Please do not blame yourself for someone else’s actions . Just because u didn’t confront the situation doesn’t mean you are responsible for someone else’s actions ❤️

As a previous divorcee myself, once a partner has decided to be out of the relationship, it is almost impossible to salvage the relationship. His changing opinions are possibly excuses for the demise of your marriage, but maybe he was also hoping for you to end things after failed attempts at couples therapy. In any case, I am happy for you to be in the place you are now. Hopefully, you are on the road to healing and a brighter future either alone or sharing it with another who truly loves you.

When you are a newlywed, we may have a tendency to not say things we see because of fear. Relationships are not as easily broken as we may think. After 18 years of marriage, I can say that finding my voice is the reason we are still together.

You are not at fault for: - Choosing a partner who threatened your physical safety. - "Allowing" his infidelity. - Avoiding discussing his abuse (because infidelity and threatening your physical safety is abuse 100%). None of these are your fault. I know you're trying so hard to be fair and accept your own part, but you don't have to accept fault for his parts.

The fact that you continued to check ON HIM and make sure he was doing ok?! He didn’t deserve you. Someone is going to thank god to have a person like you come in their lives one day, you’re an innately good person. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for you!

This whole video is me. It’s like my story from someone else’s mouth, and I’m so thankful you made this video.

Story starts @ Jump to 6:00 if you don't need disclaimers and/or trigger warnings

The hardest part of this for me is how unjust it all feels. I found myself getting angry on your behalf and wanting to correct you for calling yourself out… but I also want to give you the respect you asked for. Dishonesty is one of the worst human traits. It is ugly, hurtful, and just plain wrong. It also makes no sense to me why someone would agree to get married when they’re going turn around and spit on their vows. If this is too much, I’m sorry. I appreciate you sharing your story with virtual strangers, and I truly wish you all the very best. You are a well spoken, beautiful person deserving of love and happiness. I hope that is what lies ahead ❤️❤️

I will never forget my two year old niece randomly telling me, at Walmart, how daddy hit mommy over and over again while motioning pounding fists and how she told daddy no and to stop hurting mommy. I don’t think she remembers it, but I always will. I will always respect my sister for leaving. Thank you for sharing your story! It isn’t talked about enough.

The fact that you went through all of this , and you still protect and stick up for your ex it shows how amazing you are and how genuine of a person is. Your so much stronger then you think ❤

I’ve been sexually assaulted a few times in my life. Every time, it doesn’t matter how old I was, I think I could have done something better or different. That’s how we are wired. You can’t let yourself think that way. You did the best you could in the moment and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

You are not the one who made mistakes and destroyed your marriage, so do not take on the guilt for this. It is 100% on Brooks. He acted like a spoiled little boy who wanted what he wanted - not a man. You are so much better away from him. God has someone planned for you - someone who loves you and is trustworthy.

You're not a failure for being afraid of tough conversations- that's so natural and so many of us do that. It takes strength to rebuild like you have & as someone that's watched your videos as you go through this transition I'm blown away by how much happier and yourself you seem now. Proud of you!

My partner has Crohn’s disease. If, and when, he has a severe flair, I wouldn’t tell him he needs to go be with his family. I’ll be right by his side. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I’m glad you’re doing better these days ❤

Rewatching old videos because I’m missing “Michel Mondays” this week ❤ but I just wanted to say I’m so glad you’re with someone now who seems to put in so much effort with you ❤ planning trips to see you long-distance, taking care of you after your nose job ❤ you deserve the best

I really think when your ex becomes more mature, he’s going to I realize that you’re the “one who got away.” Your inner strength is so apparent in this video. Wishing you so much peace and happiness going forward. 🙏🏻

I wasn't married, but my nearly 5 year relationship ended in September and hearing you tell your story made me feel like you were telling mine... your feelings of not being enough and realizing your partner was "too busy" but could make time for everyone else felt like you stole the words from my brain. Thank you for telling your story.

I am one girl that you have helped (are helping)! There are so many parts of your story that I understand and resonate with, and your conviction and commitment to standing up for yourself is empowering me to do the same and also just confirms the kind of situation I was in. Thank you for sharing and continuing to share, you have helped me more than you know!

I dealt with a lot of manipulation and gaslighting in my marriage.....my husband discarded me after he had stonewalled me for months.... the confusion is real, the hurt and pain is real and it runs deep.

If the time felt right for you to share your story now, then it means you’re ready to truly move on to your next chapter 💯

It’s his loss. And woe to that girl who is putting herself in a compromising situation with a married man. When you win a cheater you lose.

Thank you for sharing your story. I was in a similar situation a few years ago with my partner of 10 years and when we separated, it absolutely devastated me. Shook me to my core. I think it does help one another when we talk about these traumas and see that we arent the only ones going through it. Thank you for being so brave and sharing. Time does heal

I fully commend you, Michel, for being so transparent in your experience. Gaslighting is almost impossible to explain! Even as a therapist, many need to hear this.❤

i just want to say one thing about the hammer thing: up until that physical confrontation, you didn’t know he would be a threat until he threw a hammer at you. had you known he would eventually throw a hammer at you, you wouldn’t have entered the relationship or stayed in it. you’re stuck in a cycle of gas lighting yourself. his behavior is inexcusable. absolutely nothing you did caused his behavior & tbh there’s never a good reason to throw a hammer at someone

Oh honey, you have to let go of that guilt. Infidelity is never your fault, rather you felt it or not. Yes, the best thing to do is always talk to our spouse. But it's honestly not your fault. You are so incredibly brave to do this. I'm sending you love and hope for the future!!

I can relate all too well to being gaslit to the point that you start gaslighting yourself, especially when you want to be precise and avoid prematurely blaming others and take full responsibility for your actions. You come across as so articulate and self-aware that I have faith you'll find your way through whatever comes your way. ♥️

I went through a lot of financial crisis during my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I'm living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I'm planning on retiring when my kids finish college.

You are enough! Him cheating on you is on him, not you. He went outside of the marriage, because HE has insecurities NOT you! I am so happy you are out of this!!!! I can’t wait to hear your dating stories ♥️. You truly deserve the best!

Girl you shouldn't be ashamed that those things happened, you should be PROUD of how you handled it. You loved the person he was before all of those things happened and you fought to get that back. You sought help to figure out your own internal struggles and took valuable lessons with you. Most importantly you loved yourself enough to leave and you've continued to heal since then.

This is as if I was telling my story. You’re not alone ❤ getting a divorce is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Currently going through a divorce. I still pray for him daily, that his heart would soften. Very similar things happened in my marriage and I learned that I allowed him to blame me for so many wrong things.. for boundaries being crossed with other women. For reacting when I went through dark times mentally and bad physical health issues but having no support. I still tend to take the blame for the whole marriage. I don’t want to be a victim either. It’s so hard

I'm so scared watching this video realizing I have so many parallels in my marriage. Words cannot tell you how much I appreciate this video and how much bravery is giving me right now.

I understand that he was was angry but it’s so sad how one can throw a hammer in the direction of someone they once loved. I’m glad u got away from the situation. I hope u find nothing but peace and happiness in your future ❤️❤️

One thing about feeling guilt for giving up on your marriage, this is not the case. He gave up on your marriage the moment he cheated, it doesn’t matter who said the words. You fought and you should never feel guilt for choosing you. Sending love, light and prayers to you ✨

It takes courage to be this honest and vulnerable. Thank you for showing me what inner strength looks like.

Also, you mention in your intro that if sharing your story helps just one girl it's worth it- I was struck with the thought that you are that girl that it's helping & you're worth the healing that comes with being open!

As someone who went through a similar thing as a young married lady and got divorced as a result, I 100% validate all of your feelings. To feel like a failure, embarrassed that you couldn’t ask the hard questions, scared for your safety, it is so so so brave of you to share this story. But know that yes, you can take responsibility for your part in it, but you also weren’t given the opportunity to feel comfortable enough to ask hard questions because you felt physically unsafe. I praise God that you are able to be a shining light on the other side of this to show other girls that it is possible to have a happier life. Now that I have remarried a wonderful man, I often just thank God that in my own story that things ended the way that they did because I was able to grow and overcome at a young age and find someone better to share the rest of my life with. I pray over your life, and that you will find a better life partner who gives you all the things you didn’t even know you wanted/needed and who brings you closer to God.

I just finished going through divorce and its been so hard after being cheated on. Thank you for making this video. Divorce is very lonely.

no idea how i landed in this territory, this story is so...educational, a must-watch for all couples, and i m pausing for awhile, I wanna give it the time it deserves.

One person cannot make a marriage successful on their own. It takes two working together. Your prince charming is out there waiting. God bless you!! Listening to your story brought me to tears. You sound so similar to me in my first marriage

You're such a strong person, Michel 🧡 I wish I could hug you right now. I am glad to see that you're doing so much better and you are building an amazing life 🙌🏼

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ve been divorced for almost a year and I still have hard days, like today. I thank God that He led me to this video to bring encouragement to me today.

Wow, this sounds like what I went through. So scary to know that so many people go through this. But oddly comforting to know I'm not the only one.

My son very recently left an abusive partner. He has a psych degree and didn’t even realize what was happening until he was away from his partner for a few weeks. When he was telling me some of the details, I pointed out the abuse and he was defending the other person. It took going back and having a physical altercation for him to realize it was actual abuse. It can happen to anyone. There’s no guarantee that confrontation with your at the time would have done anything but make things worse. You deserve your closure and the opportunity to move forward and a better chance of happiness.

You are so brave for this Michel. May this chapter be officially closed

I’ve been through 2 divorces. My takeaways from the experiences are the following: - There are no guarantees - One cannot control what someone else does. - It’s a miracle that any marriages last and remain happy. - Great communication and mutual attraction and mutual respect are vital in a loving and lasting marriage. I’ve remarried for a third time and so far in 10 years my wife and I have been happy together. I never forget that tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us so living one day at a time and appreciating each day together is a blessing. I felt extremely pressured into my first marriage and this created a lot of resentment inside of me that surfaced a few years later.

This sharing is so important for all women to start noticing signs early, and to follow their gut. Thank you!

Respectfully - that guy is such a coward and I'm so glad you left. You fought tooth and nail and you deserve someone who gives as much as you do.

As someone who works with domestic violence victims, thank you for being open and honest while also not diminishing the fear you had for your physical safety at one point in the relationship. This is a fear no one should have within their relationships and bringing it to light can help other people so I am very grateful. Domestic violence whether physical or verbal is not okay. Please reach out for help if you need it. ❤

You’re story is so much like mine… thank you for sharing!!! You’re so strong. Everyone has trauma but it’s how you respond that shows character. I don’t know you but I’m proud

I am watching this a year after you posted it and i just wanted to say i am going through a similar situation and this helped me so much. I also married young and this was the video i really needed!

Girl, you made the RIGHT decision to get out of that situation. It's hard to be brave, but you are. You can now live your best life.

“The reason for your divorce isn’t the reason for your divorce but it is” I am watching this As I drive away from my 12 year relationship. And this sentence really hits me hard. My situation is so so so similar to yours. Thank you for posting this today to know I’m not the only one going through this. Day one.

Really proud of you for sharing your story. I do believe that others will benefit from your sharing-thank you. So brave, so honest, so genuine. Thank you.

I really appreciate you sharing your story in such an open format. I'm sure it was very hard. I was blind to my ex-wife's affairs, and it wasn't until the end that I learned about them. While there was no physical violence, it was not emotionally safe for me, and I normalized the abuse for many years. It wasn't until the divorce was over and I moved on that I could see how bad it really was. My ex suffered from a lot of anxiety that worsened over the marriage, and it wasn't until the last year of marriage that she started to address it, albeit with medication. I certainly own my contributions, and I feel awful for my children.

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YOU WERE AND ARE ENOUGH. you’re such an amazing person. god has people in our life for a reason, and a timeline with them for a reason too. My dad was unfaithful to my mom throughout their marriage. My mom is Christian and decided to continue the relationship, and your story sounds so similar to hers. She was pregnant though with my older sister, and he wouldn’t come home some nights. And over 10 years after that my dad was still cheating. I grew up seeing my dad check out women in front of my family without shame. Even flirting. My mom doesn’t trust my dad, and at times I was scared of my dad. My sister and I both agree they should have divorced, my mom talks about leaving one day, but I don’t think she ever will. It’s been over 30 years now. I say all this, because I’m glad you’re not in her shoes. You are strong. I’m proud of you. I want you to be happy, and you deserve to be treated well bare minimum, you deserve a lot more than even that.

Thank you for being so open, vulnerable and honourable. You're very brave. I and am sure many others will find this so insightful. I hope you find true love.

Thank you for your courage to speak out. I feel your pain and I hope you will heal completely from this trauma. you deserve so much better!

MICHEL this is such a vulnerable story and I cannot even imagine trying to tell a story like this with so many people! I'm not going through this and I pray I never have to but I have spent months praying for your heart and for your healing and I am so so happy to see you healing and the Lord answering that prayer. Thank you so much for sharing! Much love to you and the future!

I had to pause on your statement "I was ashamed that I wasn't enough" My daughter is your age and I see in you, experiences that are similar to some things she experienced. I want to say to you some of the things I said to her. First, you are enough, and you are not too much. You are enough, perfectly imperfect. It is him that is lacking. He was not enough to be faithful. It is him that couldn't step up to the plate and be enough. Also, you lived in an abusive relationship. There are several forms of abuse and you suffered many of those forms. You were emotionally abused as he isolated you from family, his half truths, lies by omission, and outright lies left you abandoned by the very one who vowed to be there. You were abused mentally with the mind games and manipulations while he was unfaithful. And you were physically abused by his outburst. So many abuses use fear, rage and silence as weapons. Finally, I have never spoken to a victim of abuse who did not say, and honestly feel, like it was her or his fault. When living with weeks, months, years of gaslighting, narcissism, and mind games, those that tried to love, tried to survive sometimes begin to listen to all the negative statements, all the negative thoughts. I realize in a marriage two people are involved. I also realize as humans we make mistakes. The best of us learn from those mistakes. However it may take two to marry, and two to divorce, but the burden of responsibility for the end of this marriage lies much heavier on his shoulders than yours.

you are so brave to share this. my heart breaks for you and I can relate so much many of us suffer through these experiences in silence. many of us stay in our marriages to long because that's what we are supposed to do. try harder, make it work. sometimes the hardest but most loving thing you can do for yourself is to walk away

You are amazing, wise and strong. I’m 30 years into my marriage and I still don’t have to ability to have those conversations.

You got out of an unhappy marriage at a young age and you have your whole life ahead of you to find someone to love you as you need. Break ups get you closer to the person you're supposed to be with and this heart break has made you a stronger person for your next relationship. Most important thing in life is to have self love and everything else will fall into place...love yourself first!

Denial can sometimes be such a comfortable purgatory, and you can’t leave until you’re ready. So don’t have any shame or regret in your brain not processing something you weren’t ready for yet. 💕

Thank you. Just thank you. I’m going through this now. The waves of emotions are overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your experience as difficult as I know that was for you. You are beautiful and deserve only wonderful things. Thank you again. You give me hope 🖤

So heartbreaking when relationships fracture. Big love on your recovery journey.

This video made me cry because I can relate so much. The anger, the lack of wanting to communicate. The lack of intimacy, physical and emotional. All of it. Unfortunately my partner and I have a child together which makes it so much more complicated, but watching your journey gives me hope that maybe one day I can start a healthier and happier new chapter too ❤️

I have so much respect for you. You’re coming out of this heartbreak stronger and better than ever.

"like i don't know what to do here and so i finally had to tell him i am going to start listening to what you're actually saying which is not yes you're not saying yes you're not saying no but you're not saying yes and if you need me to be the one to call out the fact that that's not a yes" , thanks for this, brings a lot clarity

I stumbled across your videos very randomly (Everlane clothing lol). You seem like such a kind and genuine person in the few videos I have watched, also drop-dead gorgeous. I'm sorry you had to go through that emotional abuse. Sending love from Texas!

Girl, here's an alternate for you that you did nothing wrong. I confronted (lovingly) and had the conversations right away. And it didn't make a difference 😅(I laugh because I'll cry otherwise) The ONLY difference is we made it 15 years BUT its harder bc the longer together the more difficult the untangling. It was something wrong with him. Hurt people hurt people and will continue to hurt people long after you unless he heals. And we hope for that because we care. But know you did nothing wrong. When your in the middle of being manipulation it's hard to see it. Hugs to you!

I've never seen your videos before, probably because I'm so old. As a mom, and grandmother, I'm extraordinarily impressed by how you handled this incredibly difficult situation, and turned it into a learning experience for not only yourself but others. Thank you for sharing this in such a courageous and caring way. I experienced something like this much later in life, and could never express it like you. You are a gift!

Thank you for being so open and sharing this. You are amazing

You have a big heart! Thank you for sharing. This is the beginning of something new and looking forward and by achieving your goals will put you with someone who will bring you up and be that solid partner you so deserve. Working on yourself is the perfect start. Again thank you for sharing something so personal.

You are not alone in the "hammer moment". It was a eye opener for me that even though I can be a wonderful wife, this man could have the potential to kill me as he is so physically strong. And something I'll keep in mind in the future with other relationships.

something I learned from a very shitty relationship early in my life is that no one is going to look out for you better than you. thanks for sharing talking so openly helps people and tbh I hope one day to get there too.

You’re so brave to be able to walk away. There’s always things we wished we could’ve done better or more, but no one knows how to deal with problems they’ve never experienced before. Kudos to you. As long as you were able to separate your accountabilities from his, you should only become wiser.

I'm so sad of what you went through but I'm so glad you're on the other side of this. Here's to a better and healthier future!

Michel - I love you. You are an incredible woman and I feel throughout this video that you aren’t giving yourself enough credit for the ways you protected yourself through this. I’m a therapist and I just want to acknowledge a few things. 1) You avoided it because it felt threatening to address. This was your brain’s way of protecting you and although hindsight is 20/20, you *couldn’t* overcome that at the time because your body and brain felt unsafe to address it. 2) You did not “allow” this to happen or get yourself into any situation that occurred. You were manipulated, gaslit, and abused by the person you loved. This sort of thing happens in small doses and you almost don’t even notice it until you compare it to the past, like you mentioned. Saying that you allowed this to happen is not the reality as it implies you made choices at that time with all of the information you have now to intentionally hurt yourself and allow yourself to endure pain. You didn’t. You were protecting yourself on a subconscious level. You were doing what you knew how to do. You were gaining strength each day, even if it felt like you were losing it. And here you are, on the other side, knowing that you deserved better. That doesn’t change the hurt but I want you to give yourself permission to say that this situation is not your fault and that you were not permissive to the failing of your marriage. You tried your best and did what you could and there is no wrong way to do that.

So proud of you. Putting yourself out there is a scary thing. Sending you love. Now the healing can really begin.

It's so sad to see such genuine people going through so much! :(

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I'm going through a divorce now, we went through similar situations. And I'm glad you're healed and doing better. ❤

This is the first video of yours I've ever watched, but I just wanted to say that you seem very humble and kind. I hope you're feeling renewed in this new chapter of your life and can put this all behind you.