No contact is what saved me. Just block them. Disappear, go treat ypur self and move on. NEVER look back.

i find it hard to like this lady- but i appreciate her candor.

Never they never really miss you or anybody else for that of the matter. They only care about themselves, and if they can use you as a crutch or not. Awesome video. Please, anyone who reads this, do not be a crutch for the narcissist because it won't be worth the price you'll pay.

One day, you wont care if they miss you or not, you really wont.

They miss you as much as an empty beer can. You served a purpose and now there is no need for you. They will just get another beer.

This topic is the main reason I started watching here. I just wanted closure, but always got dismissed and blamed instead. It's a vicious cycle of futility, anger, and confusion until you start to see it for what it is. Hurt people hurt people. There is no excuse, it's a righteous doubling down on destruction. Each of us is responsible for holding ourselves to a higher standard, meeting our own needs, and our own emotional regulation. Like a parent, to ourselves.

all people miss their ex, regardless of whether it was abusive. Contacting (aka hovering) is the best proof that someone misses someone else

I don't care if my Borderline ex misses me although I know she does!! They will miss you if you were their favourite person and especially when they realise that they can't replace you! Just let them go, to be with themselves, you're better off without them!

Once the devaluation starts We're being used were your punching bag appliances, puppet. And yes controle over the other person. There's no such thing as a discard and there's always a risk of being hoovered . Yes they miss what we did for them 👏, but not us as a person. Yes very helpful 👏

This really broke my heart❤understanding what my npd person was going through as they sent so much pain my way.... My bpd Ahh would just start having SI episodes

Love the blue of your outfit, it's beautiful and it really suits you😊

That's true it's not love. I have been in love with women and they loved me and that's a wonderful feeling.

My husband says I am waterboarding him whenever I wanted to discuss all the lies he told. Yeah lets not allow the truth to get to the heart if the matter....you cannot stand me even knowing the things you did.

*_With every shot so far..._** hahaha LOL*

another gem, this is so easy to understand when you explaine it ... " why arent you make me happy clown? jump up and down ! " 🤣🤣

Listening to this I figured a narcissist may need a pot plant rather than another human. And nobody gets hurt, except for the plant, maybe.

I'm glad I had a narc. It brought me here. You're funny and you rock! That's a nice fit and a great color on you.

Had a random thought for a topic. How Narcissists might feel about pets. Would be super interesting to hear your thoughts. Pets used maybe as a golden child or as leverage or something to be jealous of etc etc etc

Thank youuu you are awesome!!

YOU RAWWCKK MY WORLD! 🤩 Again, thank you for another great video! 🌍🌟

Excellent video. Lots of good advice and insight. Keep up your coaching

Basically, dumping their toxic shit on you .😁

8:40 this describes my relationship with her perfectly. Constant forgiveness with no accountability because she’d always talk her way out of shit ie manipulate the shit out of me.

Thanks for bringing the real

It's funny listening to this. I was diagnosed with NPD about 4 years ago. I've made A LOT of progress to the point where I am not sure I'd meet the diagnostic criteria anymore, but the core of who I am, my deepest knee-jerk reactions are definitely still "NPD," just a very watered down version, it's constant work to overcome this. I remember a girl I dated about 5 years ago, poor thing... she was definitely a punching bag for me, I thought if she loved me it meant she'd have 0 boundaries, and do whatever I wanted, when I wanted xD She was responsible for everything I felt, and would feel, and she was punished if I had a bad day. Looking back on it, it's so sick. My most recent gf (though not together anymore).... it was different, I don't know exactly what it was about her, but I developed this intense desire to not want to hurt her, and that was when I started to seek therapy and found I had NPD. Her, I came to really value as a person, not just someone I was using for my emotional disregulation. Turns out she had BPD tho, and the relationship just didn't have a chance, she was far more fucked up than I was when her "bad side" came out. I won't lie, her.... I miss; and not in a disordered way, I miss her as a human being.

My friend puts me on a shelf constantly and then returns as if nothing happened. Finally I decided to change the way we interact and distanced myself, but I still miss her from time to time. When she writes me like once a month or two my heart stars pounding and I hate it. Then I reply and she even doesn’t open my message😂 that’s so lame. But emotions are so powerful. I can’t destroy my tender feelings for her completely, since we’ve have a lot of awesome memories together. My childhood friend. Anger, frustration.

Great video again. I saw so many conversations replayed , and the underlying argument was okay, im gonna emotionally dump on you through projection. Her coworkers/ friends don't invite her to set things up for a work thing my friends are pos. Also, SHOW ME COMPASSION AND GRACE was always her playing get out of jail free card.

It's interesting. My ex, who always claimed to be a narcissist, from about four months ago was constantly telling me (post break up when she would hit me up for hook ups) that she missed me and she still loved me, although was never willing to break up with the guy that she replaced me with. But she does seem to be respecting my request that she stop contacting me, which I made about a month ago. But I still see her name show up literally every day as having viewed my Facebook stories. And we have a mutual friend who tells me she often asks him about me. But as your video suggests, I think you're right on when you say that she just misses her "home" as I was a very stabilizing influence for her (lots of acts of service since apparently I'm a codependent anxious attachment mess, lol). And from what I hear her household is kind of falling apart in my absence.

I'm so stupid to think that my NPD one day felt he loved me...listen to this and realize you are aware that you dont feel ever love for us and still choose us anyway... Why do this and punishes someone who really like you? Its so cruel

Pretty hair as always. ❤😍

Thank you

Thanks!

My narcissist is actually had a real personal moment with actually joy. 🎉 😮

Thanks for the info. I think I'll just get a cool monitor lizard.

"Don't forget to bring snacks for your little kids on the field" this is the single funniest ending I have ever heard. Can I break up with someone... anyone... for a chance to date you...

Its been 8 days since i lived on my own away from h im and he's already asking about my schedule, trying to invite himself over, upset that his "friends" are in my DMs , and expected me to be wanting his breadcrumbs still, i told him im busy. friday was our 5 year he came over to help with things around the house but didn't do most of what he said he would, complained half the time, complained about money for dinner, and was trying to pick fights with me in front of my roomate, his old highschool friend. it was awkward. i also felt in my body anxious and on edge, made me realize it was never me, now that i been away from him, and felt that way, it was him. i am at peace when he's not near me now. and so much more positive feeling. my plants/flowers arent even dying or looking old right now. i'm wondering what is going to happen next... he was pushing for me to be out and now that im out he's already acting upset about it all. eye roll

he also hasnt asked about me other than to be nosey about schedule it seems, randomly telling me things baout his day like im a void or a sounding board. its strange. like texting me more than normal and inviting himself to go out to eat its like where was this when we were together? you dumped mea nd told me to move. why would i want to talk to you now? or go out with you now? SO WEIRD.

I hate it SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much... literally never had a fight, felt I was kinda been slowly dripped into the friendzone and then POOF never talk again, ever. Blocked blocked blocked blocked. Yo I just don't believe it, man. I don't fucking believe it. I feel like she was mad at me for trying to "break her things" meaning exposing her lies to her ex/new boyfriend... but then I stopped, but the past few days she's been playing with spotify again - she unblocked me on spotify, had her recent activity showing, then she hid it - then she showed recent listening activity, then hid it again - is this setting up for a gaslight? She's listening to some of my music when it's active. Like wow at this girl... uuuuuuuuugh just come back to me and be cool. Also... if you don't want to be alone with yourself, why is there all this retraction where she spends time by herself? Is it just to sit there and think about her own bullshit and rationalize her brain?

This warm body started sleeping in another room and took away all the things that I could get dumped on for. Coffee maker making sounds, moved the coffee maker into a separate space. Made all the moves inadvertently, I got discarded. She filed for divorce. Couldn't get through a mediation session without changing her mind. Wouldn't let me get some of the kids stuff for my place without changing her mind. Now the kids are supply. The older one I haven't seen for 6 months, she's taking his high school graduation party to her mom's house a few hour drive away from his hometown and his friends. And she's taking another few days off of work, despite court orders to make good faith efforts to seek full time employment.

She described my ex 🤣🤣😂😂

How do you act in love as a self aware narcissist?

😢

What if you were building a family together? The pwNPD I love never had a family growing up, so he wanted to have a family of his own with me… He had a 2yo daughter when we met. I became a second mother to her… But if he ever raged at her, and I confronted him about it, he would say I was being “too sensitive.” He discarded me 8 months ago. She turned 6 today. I miss her, and I miss him, so much.

I was the intimate secondary source in an affair. I broke it off and doing no contact. Got tired of the life on a shelf. The primary source makes more money then I did and they have kids. The narc’s whole Identity is in her house that she built. She does not want to lose that. Does this make the Narc end the discard with the primary? Curious as to your predictions on how this will play out. I’m assuming she will eventually finish the discard and look for another secondary until the primary gets tired of the abuse.

I just realized my ex is emo dumping on his new supply while he’s off suspended at our work… it’s no wonder she looks like she’s in a shit mood all the time

They miss you like they miss having a root canal

Is it possible that even if you have new supply, you still miss ur ex?

You gotta learn to get your emotions in check girl. 🤣

My narc Ex is telling me since last 1 year since we broke off that she misses me. Wrote to me today also saying that she misses me. But she forgets that we broke off bcos she was cheating on me and flipped the blame on me for cheating. Also she was the one to discard me after her cheating was caught

Would you say this is the same for secondary like friends, family, etc.

I'm seeing him on Tuesday . IM SO ANXIOUS LOL ONGGGGG. ITS BEEN 3 YEARS!!!! I don't know how my body is going to react. do u think the shared fantasy will "reactivate" on both ends ? Cuz now we're both no longer out of sight out of mind

Hell no

Am I able to book a double session with you?

If you were to visit a place where youd spent good times with an ex. Would you have that moment of sadness? When you Remember a happy memory with someone no longer in your life?

Hi. There’s absolutely no way in hell my ex misses me absolutely no freaking way I lied to him about something big so he got rid of me just like that like I am a piece of trash and playing the victim to his family and friends telling them all how I am a piece of trash in his mind he had all the power and control by ending it and took off and never looked back. There’s no way he’s hovering me he’s too full of himself and is it true once you lie to a narcissist there’s no coming back from that right????

I notice narcissist tend to date the guy closest to the guy they really like just to try to hurt the guy they really like what's that about? Lol do you guys do that when we cause a narc injury or do ya just do it all the time?

As always Sara, right on time. My ex narc hoovered me again, in January, just to be "friends". At first I was distanced but as the time went by I lost my distance, as usual. He was in contact with his recent ex, I helped him with his business and emotional issues (crying, depression). I absorbed everything. In the meantime he still was telling me he still loves me. And said I have to make decision if we are going back together. I was saying "no" all the time. He went back to his recent ex and even I know this wouldn't work out I feel sad. Don't know why. He loves me (I'm his "unicorn fantasy he never had" so he said) and she is "safe". She provides money and emotional safety. I'm so fucking confused, I'm done. He even asked me if I think that he has NPD, I talked to him and told him his actions which hurt me. I was surprised that he became a little bit aware. But now I just don't know...

🦖🐣😉

Until you are come to the point I am sleeping. Wasted time here. 🙄

You just said “we get attached to someone else” point is, you don’t get “attached”. You have an attachment disorder hunny.

First, you should stop talking in 'we'. Talk about your experienxe. Two, you said you don't go out looking for people to control, but in the end you used to do a lot of shity things to your former partners. Own what you've done: you unconsioysly controled people and you liked it.