HFY Story : Don't Insult Their Ships & War On A Death World |2215~Deathworld, War, Terran and Humans

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HFY Story : Don't Insult Their Ships & War On A Death World |2215~Deathworld, War, Terran and Humans

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Agro Squirrel Narrates

Күн бұрын

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@glassramen 11 ай бұрын

"If you can't survive the environment we live in, then wait until you see us fight in it."

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

Yep, if you think the spiders are bad, wait till you piss us off.

@adamuser3968 10 ай бұрын

"Have you ever heard of hyenas? No? Well there's one now!"

@glassramen 10 ай бұрын

@@adamuser3968 "Say hi to the hippos for us!" "The fuck is a hip-"

@adamuser3968 10 ай бұрын

@glassramen "see that landing zone" "Ya" "Well that's the Amazon and we don't go there." Incoherent screaming begins.

@delsis2227 10 ай бұрын

Don't worry about our flies they just lay eggs in your skin and also you have to boil your water in case of brain-eating parasites are in it.

@battlesheep2552 11 ай бұрын

Alien: "your ship should be hauling garbage" Human: "take that back!" Alien: "you're right, it should be hauled away AS GARBAGE!" human brings out the Geneva Checklist

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

Ah the ever present Geneva Checklist. Should be required reading for every xenos species. To give them fair warning. LOL

@battlesheep2552 10 ай бұрын

@@Wastelandman7000 but remember, it doesn't come with the stuff humans have yet to imagine, so don't give them a reason to

@Jaegerrants 10 ай бұрын

@@battlesheep2552Hey! No warning the xenos about that, let them find out. But this reminds me of an old HFY in which the Galactic councill lists various utilitarian and considired harmless things that humanity weaponized and are now war crimes if used again.

@njennett8005 10 ай бұрын

@battlesheep2552 The Geneva convention isn't a list of war crimes. The Geneva convention is a list of war crimes that have already been done. P.S., it isn't a war crime if you're the first one to do it.

@CT-1035 10 ай бұрын

Check one for hitting civilians, Check 2 for extreme damage to life and limb, Check 3 for causing extreme harm and suffering, Check 4+ for intergalactic war crimes that will terrorize the entire universe for generations to come

@mateuszbanaszak4671 11 ай бұрын

1) "Only *I* can call it 'piece of junk'!" 2) "You realy though that 'Deathworld' was just an edgy name?"

@medicentio 11 ай бұрын

1st Story: You DO NOT mess with the big lady that keeps us alive in the vacuum of space. That incurrs a death sentence. 2nd Story: For us those are "natural disasters" and we have lived with them for thousands of years. Are you sure you want to fight us?

@TarsonTalon 10 ай бұрын

"Detecting multiple leviathan class organisms in the region. Are you certain whatever you're doing is worth it?"

@RafaleTsuri 10 ай бұрын

image how small they must had been for spiders to be considered massive giants

@maurizioginanneschi9402 10 ай бұрын

@@RafaleTsuri If the aliens were so small, I guess the emus must have horrified them!

@roberine7241 4 ай бұрын

@@RafaleTsuri well maybe it was just big for an insect by their standards

@garysprandel1817 11 ай бұрын

Xenos fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war on a death world. But only slightly less well known is this. Never insult a ship to it's chief engineer and engineering crew. Doubly so if the engineer is a Scott.

@michaelreifenstein2114 10 ай бұрын

got to love a princess bride reference

@Zoie3x8 10 ай бұрын

a princess bride AND a star trek reference. Very Nice :D

@Heegaherger 10 ай бұрын

Ok, Venzini. Lol

@Ryvaken 7 ай бұрын

And the third is, do not invade Florida if any Waffle House has evacuated.

@bf-696 2 ай бұрын

@@Ryvaken And the 4th is never invade Australia. In fact, don't even set foot there.

@driverr988 11 ай бұрын

Story 2. Why would you EVER give humans the home field advantage? Location 1: Florida during a hurricane... ( no humans they claimed, but i BET there were a few Floridians out an about, even then 😂) Location 2: the Arctic during the cold season. Just feck off already. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Location 3: Australia, even by human standards, that place is a Deathworld Good luck 🤣🤪😜😁

@InternetGravedigger 11 ай бұрын

Location 3: Or, as I've heard in other stories, earns the even stronger classification of Hellworld.

@thing_under_the_stairs 11 ай бұрын

Location 1: I'm sure at least *one* Waffle House was open somewhere!

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

Yep, Florida Man was like "WARRIORS COME OUT TO PLAYYYAY!!! WARRIORS COME OUT TO PLAYYYYAYYY!"

@Maddog3060 10 ай бұрын

As a Floridian, I can confirm a bunch of us would've been around. Hurricanes don't scare us much unless they get above a 3, and besides that, we've got all these pretty rifles and easy access to swamps.

@thing_under_the_stairs 10 ай бұрын

@@Maddog3060 Pretty much what I've heard from one of my best friends, who grew up in Puerto Rico and Florida, before deciding on a different sort of extreme weather and moving to Canada. The hurricane stories are incredible.

@RJStockton 10 ай бұрын

“I didn’t mean to say the Enterprise should be HAULING garbage. I meant it should be hauled away AS garbage!” Kor, the D’Har Master

@FlynntheBookseller 10 ай бұрын

Was that really kor who said that in that episode? Dang I forget how old Kor was in DS9

@BerryTheBnnuy 7 ай бұрын

Yeah I was getting constant flashbacks to that scene myself... Like it's basically so close that it's just plagiarism with names changed to hide it.

@kopkaljdsao 11 ай бұрын

If it wasn't animals abuse, I totally see someone teaching a monkey sign language, shaving it and taking it to a bar just to mess with some aliens.

@Elmithian 11 ай бұрын

Just wait 'til we uplift them. Then you ape friend can be convinced, no doubt begrudgingly so, to do that

@WorldWalker128 11 ай бұрын

With Tiktokers being the kind of dregs of humanity that they are they might do it anyway.

@battlesheep2552 11 ай бұрын

I remember they made a similar joke on Xenonion about a lithoid species having their ambassador be an inanimate rock and it took 2 years for anyone to realize

@syncringe1885 11 ай бұрын

@@WorldWalker128 Tiktokers? Hell redditors might do it for a few upvotes. I've seen some lightly deprived shit there. And if not there the deep web has some fun fun places that might do it just for a few bucks.

@merlinathrawes746 11 ай бұрын

Nah, just dress them and tell the aliens they're cousins.

@deussalt4479 11 ай бұрын

As soon as the said "large pennensula" i started laughing. There are only 2 pennisulas big enough to be called "large" in that context and Italy is to old and historically valuable to wage war there. And Florida... Florida's reputation speaks for itself 😂.

@timothyferrelli8274 11 ай бұрын

As a Floridan, only Austrailans and Louisiana residents truly have our respect and understand us.

@InternetGravedigger 11 ай бұрын

There's a reason for all those 'Florida Man' stories...

@TNT_Golem 11 ай бұрын

I mean you could also call Alaska a peninsula

@timothyferrelli8274 11 ай бұрын

Don't forget Korea is a peninsula.

@nooneofimportance2110 11 ай бұрын

You guys are all technically correct, but there is only one peninsula on this death world that you want aliens to invade, and that would be the one with the alligators, pythons, snapping turtles, bull sharks, hurricanes, and of course deep, southern fried rednecks.

@jeanannd 11 ай бұрын

1st story: Reminds me of the Star Trek episode where Klingon's insulted the Enterprise. Story 2: Oh come on, the spiders in Australia are not that big. Guess the species trying to make war is small.

@SiegeTF 11 ай бұрын

There's also the possibility of a planetary xenophobic reaction, like what the humans suffer on Pandora (purple space cats, not Borderlands).

@GR3YD3ATH 11 ай бұрын

no the spiders can have australia...

@kopkaljdsao 11 ай бұрын

Also 2nd story. They land in space ship troop transport. Any space vehicle should be able to shield the occupants from extreme heath and cold and a hurricane has nothing on a orbital descent. Losing 10k troops in 24h is unrealistic, except for the Australia invasion.

@Norbrookc 11 ай бұрын

I've heard that back in WWII, the crew of the USS Enterprise got into it with the crew of the USS Essex over which one was the real "Big E."

@MrSirwolf2001 11 ай бұрын

The Trouble With Tribbles.

@gyny2358 10 ай бұрын

So in other words, the aliens in the second story gained the second most powerful position in the galaxy by losing a war to and then becoming friends with the current 1st place.

@InternetGravedigger 11 ай бұрын

Fight you? We don't have to fight you... we'll let the planet do it for us!

@PartytimeYOLO 10 ай бұрын

H: "we will be fighting INSIDE a black hole." A: "...WTF do you mean, 'inside a black hole', no one can survive inside a black hole!!!" H: "thats where the fight is so you have to show up"

@Ifyoucanreadthisgooglebroke 11 ай бұрын

I really like the bit about how humans lost two wars against Emus. So there was another one in the 21st century or later.

@MythicFool 11 ай бұрын

No, about a year after the first attempt, the Australians tried again with different plans. Still didn't work.

@TJCID22 11 ай бұрын

Austrians are never ganna live that down.

@ratzelbarreto2070 10 ай бұрын

@@TJCID22 100% true when ever I talked to an Asussy in wow I mocked them for losing the emu war.

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

@@MythicFool The irony here is Aussies are tough. (you have to be in a place where everything is trying to kill you) And they STILL couldn't win. Still, this is the ultimate biloogical weapon. If we are ever fighting aliens who we can't quite dislodge, the admiral turns too his number two and says gravely "Computer, weapon unlock, 001007E, let loose the Emus of war."

@blackg0076 10 ай бұрын

@@Wastelandman7000 if they dont peck you to death , you will die laughing at the way they run around like giant headless chickens , to say without a clue of where their feet are going and the head is looking.

@grogvaughan5649 11 ай бұрын

1st story: there was a stripper bar in South Korea in the 1980s that we hung out at where the chairs were bolted to the floor, during the "Team Spirit" exercise when the USMC showed up from Okinawa and decided that it was a great idea to grab a bunch of the dancers off the stage those bolts didn't stop us from removing them from the floor to educate the crayon eaters on their manors.

@dijerido7062 11 ай бұрын

I like the idea of furniture lockdown in the first story. Sound cool and very practical for a bar.

@RenaTamer1 11 ай бұрын

makes even more sense on a space station where gravity may shut down on you during a power flux.

@ianbelletti6241 11 ай бұрын

Except that won't stop a human from using it as a weapon by throwing someone into it.

@TheJMPD 10 ай бұрын

Along with holographic plate glass windows! Firefly. Anyone? 😅

@TheJMPD 10 ай бұрын

@@ianbelletti6241 No Officer, I did NOT throw him into the table; I threw him at the ceiling ABOVE the table...

@ianbelletti6241 10 ай бұрын

@@TheJMPD how was I to know that his species couldn't grip onto the ceiling? I thought all spiders could do that.

@Furzkampfbomber 11 ай бұрын

This time it's not about a devastating war or something along those lines, but just a friendly bar brawl and a human crew that saw itself forced to defend their ship's honor. I really liked this one. Just throw a couple of Tribbles into the mess for good measure next time. :D

@timothyferrelli8274 11 ай бұрын

So, which one was Chief O'Brian?

@ironwolfF1 11 ай бұрын

@@timothyferrelli8274 Scotty, of course. 😁

@johns9652 11 ай бұрын

Absolutely an homage to the Klingons vs Enterprise crew episode from TOS.

@XR171 11 ай бұрын

Never insult a Human's ship, unless you're an accepted member of the crew.

@timothyferrelli8274 11 ай бұрын

What do you mean there was no one around during a hurricane? There were people there, they didn't see them.

@nooneofimportance2110 11 ай бұрын

They were scanning for intelligent life, instead they just found Floridians. 'Nuff Said.

@merlinathrawes746 11 ай бұрын

And I strongly suspect that there were humans in the Artic herding the polar bears as well as a few in Australia herding the emu's. They just weren't seen. I just hope none of the critters were poisoned by alien biology.

@TJCID22 11 ай бұрын

Should've sent them to Antarctica. That place is colder than space.

@Maddog3060 10 ай бұрын

Story 1: Basically Trouble with Tribbles, minus the tribbles. Nothing wrong with that, though, I thought it was a fun retelling. Especially since the alien maintenance crew were being a bunch of D-bags. Story 2: Being a Floridian, I have to say that I don't think their entire force would be wiped out. I mean, sure, the hurricane would kill a bunch and a bunch more would be shot by our well-armed population if they tried pushing their invasion acts, and a lot more would die to alligators and cottonmouths and the skeeters sucking their blood dry and the mold and the brain-eating amoeba (hurricanes imply this is the summer seasons when it's warm enough for that evil amoeba to be active in the water) but I think once the horrors of the situation sank in the smart aliens would just kinda give up, and we'd just go collect them and stick them in a building somewhere until the war was over. We're crazy, not cruel down here. Unless you want us to be.

@Shinzann2007 11 ай бұрын

Engineer Scott would approve.

@ik7578 11 ай бұрын

I had the same thought. 😂😂

@jdluntjr76226 11 ай бұрын

Yes he would - but I think Reg Barcley might nit like his demotion to an NCO

@Kualinar 11 ай бұрын

Anyone noted that the galactic time is PI to the fourth decimal... Landing in Florida, just when a hurricane come crashing the party... In a land of alligators, leaches and other pleasantries... Then, in the middle of the Arctic winter ? Those troops are now pop-cycles. Finally, the scalding dry Australian's Outback Summer.

@Snipergoat1 11 ай бұрын

That first one sounds like it was written by a Naval sailor getting details like the NJP (non judicial punishment)and a likely out of NJP for a brawl that had to be broken up by both shore patrol and local law enforcement. (If it's just shore patrol you might slide under the radar but once it is outside of the command, well you done fucked up.) As a surprise bonus Agro pronounced Boatswain correctly (bos'un) and of course more points for the Trekkies.

@XR171 11 ай бұрын

I did my time as a seaman YN3(SS), might have experienced NJP too.

@paulqueripel3493 11 ай бұрын

Emus are the standard army, Cassowaries are the special forces.

@nooneofimportance2110 11 ай бұрын

Australian Funnel Webs and Emus? Yeah, that's nightmare fuel until you've watched a South American Bird Spider eating a parrot or seen what happens when something falls into a puddle full of Electric Eels. Then of course you have the "joy" of the open ocean. If you're world isn't at LEAST as deadly as South America, you shouldn't even try coming to Earth.

@merlinathrawes746 11 ай бұрын

Insulting ship story: Really??? The author lifted heavily from the original TOS Star Trek series episode, The Trouble with Tribbles. Not to mention giving TNG's Lt. Reg Barclay a demotion and transfer. Not a bad story, but WAY too similar to stand on its own. Deathworld war story: Hmmm... the galaxy must be filled with low gravity Eden planets.

@Goodca6 10 ай бұрын

I like how it's kind of implied that they evaluated the civilians for the hurricane ignoring the war all together. 🤣

@kerwinbrown4180 10 ай бұрын

The defender get to choose the time and area of battle. That is no a slight advantage but a significant one. Humans use mines and other traps as well as fortifications.

@ScotttheCyborg 10 ай бұрын

We make our planet a weapon, we even make the floor a weapon.

@TheJasonBorn 10 ай бұрын

That second one, we lost because we underestimated the weather, climate, flora and fauna of a deathworld.

@kevincaruthers5412 6 ай бұрын

You have to wonder what part of 'death' in deathworld did they not understand.

@michaelklim8277 10 ай бұрын

Loved both stories. The boldness of humanity in the second one is mind-blowing to me. They must have known the enemy ahead of time. Otherwise, unless the troops were just that hidden, there is no way that anyone would bet the entire planet on the weakness of a species that holds a multiplanetary empire. I personally could never take that risk no matter how confident I was that they wouldn't survive. But it is hilarious and has a heartwarming end.

@eliandervalderen5849 10 ай бұрын

I was under the impression that the humans were waiting to carpet bomb them if it look like nature wasn't going to deal with them

@brentmartin6833 10 ай бұрын

I would assume there where humans in gillie suits all over the place and or attack airboats/planes ready if needed in the Florida encounter. In the Arctic the Polar Bears might have had a snack, along with multiple snipers. (If they landed in the Antarctica by accident they were squished by the cute penguins/ or there environmental suits accustomed to space couldn't keep up with the heat generated by the flightless birds) and survivors taken by sniper. The outback the humans probably just stampeded Emus, Kangaroos and bunnies over them. The spiders and other critters were just happenstance. My guess is most xeno's called it quits quickly and were "casualties" by way of POW. If the timing was right the poor xeno's could have come to the place called Crack a Toe 'eh? Xeno: what a funny name. Xeno 2: ow! I just stubbed my lower appendage. Rumble Xeno: why is no one around for 230's of zamms? KaBoom!

@rosebloodwater13 10 ай бұрын

As soon as they said Florida i busted out laughing.😂 I bet the hurricane party was epic. I'm so proud of our crazy ass cousins in Australia 🇦🇺 🤣

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

Hell, as soon as the party was over every redneck with an AR (and we all have one) would be out looking to welcome our visitors.

@jcif2620 10 ай бұрын

Whenever one of these stories starts with the words "Incident Report" I know I'm gonna be given a more than likely humorous example of a Xeno's sense of self-preservation or rather the lack there of

@MilBard 11 ай бұрын

Both stories were very nice.

@Atma_Weapon 10 ай бұрын

alien: your ship is ugly. human: were gonna beat you like your daddy should have.

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

Laddie, yer parents dinna teach ye any manners. Here let me help."

@dire9084 11 ай бұрын

They just needed friendship and bug spray

@chadsamples6178 6 ай бұрын

Every time one of these stories refers to Earth as a death world the my first thought is Australia where everything wants to kill you.

@TekkamanRAGE 11 ай бұрын

Good stories, good narration. Thank you Argo.

@samsignorelli 7 ай бұрын

Ha! Nice "Trouble with Tribbles" reference!

@IRMentat 10 ай бұрын

Sonia must have been glad to catch up on her technical Manuals after that.

@Blood.Angel. 10 ай бұрын

For the algorithm! For the Bodied voice! For the author!

@jacobhuff3748 11 ай бұрын

Never fight a battle in Florida amidst a hurricane. Depending on the Waffle House Index you may deal with the weather & the Floridians(bless their hearts) or a hurricane so bad that the Floridians just decide to board up and have a hurricane party either way they'll be having fun.😁 PS: Don't attack the Waffle House, somehow that has become a relief center and a metric for rating weather severity.

@thing_under_the_stairs 11 ай бұрын

So an unknowing alien observer would think that the Waffle House is either some sort of religious centre, or maybe some sort of disaster relief agency, with a specialty in meteorology? That was just my takeaway.

@jacobhuff3748 10 ай бұрын

@@thing_under_the_stairs more of an informal indicator for the severity of the storm & ease of local economic recovery.

@thing_under_the_stairs 10 ай бұрын

@@jacobhuff3748 Well yes, that's what it is to the locals, but I can easily imagine xenos experiencing their first Deathworld hurricane, seeing a full Waffle House and thinking that it was something far, far more important, possibly even sacred! For what it's worth, we use Tim Horton's in about the same way around here. ;)

@robertmore703 10 ай бұрын

@@jacobhuff3748it is not informal.

@mattbrown5511 10 ай бұрын

Florida during a little blow, the arctic during winter and the Outback. Those poor idiots never stood a chance.

@TJCID22 11 ай бұрын

Arctic? The Arctic isn't so bad, even in winter. Look at Yakutsk. I think he meant to say Antarctica. That place is a death sentence even in summer.

@kevanfoster 10 ай бұрын

I had to show this to my boss after he heard me cackling like a maniac yesterday, we both lost it when we heard The Emus. Aliens losing war against the wildlife and weather of our litte planet.

@ThePamastymui 10 ай бұрын

Famous last words: "Oh, come on, it's just a bad weather..."

@alexlim864 2 ай бұрын

Oh, dear God, Australia! I knew the aliens' geese were cooked when the battle was scheduled there.

@reginaldbull4922 11 ай бұрын

Very good stories. For the algorithm!

@markwarrenseadog2349 11 ай бұрын

Well Done

@colincampbell767 10 ай бұрын

This would be the first war ever won where the soldiers on one side did nothing but watch the action on video and eat popcorn.

@ScotttheCyborg 10 ай бұрын

Second story: I began celebrating victory upon hearing the word "Florida". The Everglades will make even Class 9 Deathworld megafauna pause. Me? I'd be setting up a concession stand on the edge of the field. Also a betting pool, in partnership with the Seminole tribal casino, a paid parking lot, and a souvenir stand with 3D printers to make figures of the combatants as they fight. Oh, and accident insurance for spectators. I'm American, after all. Oh, and also hire several licensed alligator hunters, and tell them to bring their friends, to help rescue the invaders.

@proudamerican183 4 ай бұрын

1:58 Scotty would be proud.

@TheJMPD 10 ай бұрын

2nd story: "You want to dance? Come to our playground "

@mikkelnpetersen 8 ай бұрын

You can insult a sailors looks, manhood, ability, even his mother and grandmother, he will just laugh it off, but even THINK about insulting the ship upon which he serves and a battlefield will look like a safe zone.

@deus0rcinus889 10 ай бұрын

Another great couple of stories Agro!!

@ihtfp01 11 ай бұрын

There's no way they evacuated all of Florida. Florida man wouldn't leave in the face of a hurricane, he ain't leaving for no Gods damned aliens...

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

Besides, why would we want to miss the fun of giving these xenos a warm Florida Man welcome. Every redneck would be out looking for them with beer and plate carriers covered in ammo as soon as the wind dropped below 60mph. If not before.

@jazzydino3159 11 ай бұрын

Amazing video

@MJSmithGroup 11 ай бұрын

I was waiting for tribbles in the first story.

@alankohn6709 7 ай бұрын

As an Australian I resent that we only lost one war against the Emu's (Pronounced EE-M -You. EE-moo is the sound you hear when a cow steps on someone's foot)

@LitmusPapyrus 10 ай бұрын

First one: “Welp, that’s an incident report.”

@ronanpare4766 10 ай бұрын

This was a bit for Star Trek TOC where Scotty and Chekhov had to be “nice” to the Klingons. All went well until they insulted the Enterprise.

@KuDastardly 9 ай бұрын

OMFG those damned emus, lol! I'm surprised Brazil wasn't chosen as one of the battlefield. :D

@emilschw8924 10 ай бұрын

When Australia and its critters was mentioned, I started laughing.

@artyd42 11 ай бұрын

Keep it going Agro. For the algorithm.

@literalsarcasm1830 6 ай бұрын

"No enemy in a hundred worlds is more fearsome than 5 kilometers of unknown train"

@vladyvhv9579 29 күн бұрын

Don't trust unknown trains... Only trust the ones that have Union Pacific and other company logos.

@MidnightSmoke 11 ай бұрын

Here is your like and comment as a thank you for the stories and to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.

@XR171 11 ай бұрын

Fantastic as always! You make the stories come alive.

@Razalonjrt1 10 ай бұрын

Ah yes the Australian enviroment and animals never under estimate it or as you see you will lose, 3 seperate forces destroyed in bad weather/animal attacks cannot help but laugh, Thankfully we humans were given choice of were to fight so as to use the planet to fight without a loss for us and now we are greatest allies to them. Great stories and as always love to listen to your way of telling them.

@klappstock943 11 ай бұрын

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

@terranempire2 8 ай бұрын

The Emus!!! Truly a savage biological weapon… never did these aliens stand a chance against such monsters.

@bartmoyens2151 10 ай бұрын

Addendum 1: Always try to avoid offending Humans. Addendum 2: If the Humans in question hail from an area on their home planet called 'Scotland' never, ever, in any circumstance, offend them, we do not want a repeat of what happened in the Tigris51 sector, or what's left of it.

@malcolmanderson6735 11 ай бұрын

Ahh the trouble with tribbles.

@joehess5481 8 ай бұрын

Story 1: Cheif Engineer Scotty threw the first punch. I seen it as a kid, Yes I'm old

@landenschooler6726 6 ай бұрын

This reminds me of an episode on the original Star..... Where is Scotty is trying to explain to Captain Kirk on why there was a bar fight..... The aliens insulted the crew, the insulted Captain Kirk, but when the insulted the Enterprise by calling her a garbage scow, the gloves hit the floor.......

@dhracecars 11 ай бұрын

Ahhh, no place like home.

@yomogami4561 11 ай бұрын

thanks for the stories and narration

@bf-696 2 ай бұрын

While Earth is a Deathword, Australia is a class above that. Emus. My God, Emus.

@EroDisdain 10 ай бұрын

They offered blood to the blood gods and was blessed.

@zyanidwarfare5634 10 ай бұрын

As soon as I heard the sentence “they called the area Florida” I snorted and started laughing while going “oh no!” Florida is my home and I love it here but I know those Xenos will hate it… swarms of mosquitos so large they look like clouds of smog… crocodiles… crazy Floridamen… venomous snakes… swamps… absolutely 0 natural cover in the form of hills and such, and plenty of hurricanes and rainstorms

@Mustangofold 10 ай бұрын

I kept seeing Scotty from TOS during that 1st story.

@davidwells7279 7 ай бұрын

The First Great Emu War emerged as a legendary tale, marked by diplomatic blunders, whimsical warfare, and the unexpected heroism of humans. The conflict began at the United Nations of Avian Species, where the emus, always immaculately dressed in feathered suits, proposed to widen sidewalks for their long strides. This suggestion sparked outrage among the shorter-legged penguins, who saw it as a blatant disregard for their needs. Tensions escalated when a delegation of penguins, in their natural tuxedo markings, slid belly-first into an emu congress meeting, disrupting the proceedings and igniting the war. However, this was no ordinary war. It was fought with whipped cream cannons and rubber fish, a testament to its intention to embarrass rather than harm. Battlefields were comedic scenes of chaos, with emus strategically dodging whipped cream while penguins expertly wielded rubber fish. In this avian-dominated world, humans, perceived as quaint beasts of burden, played a crucial role. They were the oversized message carriers, traversing the treacherous terrains of the emu plains and penguin ice lands, often outpaced by the casually strolling emu diplomats. Despite their menial status, humans displayed remarkable resilience and determination, always completing their tasks regardless of the odds or danger. Their bravery shone in instances like navigating through a storm of whipped cream bombs dropped by cockatoos or crossing rivers swarming with pelicans. These acts of human courage and ingenuity were so inspiring that they momentarily paused the battles, with birds from both sides watching in awe. As the war progressed, the avian world watched with a mix of amusement and apprehension. Parrots flew overhead with news reports, owls convened for strategy meetings, and neutral ducks provided medical aid for whipped cream burns and rubber fish bruises. The human involvement in the war led to an unexpected development. Their unwavering commitment and bravery earned them a newfound respect among the avian nations. Stories of their daring deeds spread, and they were soon seen not just as bearers of burdens but as valiant and resourceful allies. This shift in perception played a crucial role in the resolution of the war. The birds began to value human input and perspective in their diplomatic discussions. The final peace treaty, a symbol of interspecies cooperation, was signed not only by emu and penguin leaders but also by human representatives, marking a new era of mutual respect and collaboration. The First Great Emu War, with its whimsy and absurdity, ended with a profound lesson in unity and the recognition of the indomitable human spirit. It became a story told to fledglings in nests, a reminder that in the grand aviary of life, every bird, no matter their stride or leg length, and every human, regardless of their role, had a place and value in the world. It was a tale of how differences can lead to conflict, but also how humor, understanding, and unexpected heroism can restore peace and foster harmony among the most unlikely of allies.

@darkeen1372 10 ай бұрын

Never underestimate a long legged bird. Lol

@syvajarvi2289 11 ай бұрын

For the Emus, the squirrel, and the algorithm…. Burn the spiders😂

@medical-cyanide1526 10 ай бұрын

Your our friend now, we’re having soft taco’s later!

@x7y2k12 Ай бұрын

Only 30000 lost in the war? That's adorable !

@RealArcalian 10 ай бұрын

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: Clearly TOS Trek inspired, not that I'm complaining! Story 2: Planet Earth FY. Or Terra FY, if you will.

@allensheets9369 11 ай бұрын

wow great story

@Shadow.Dragon 11 ай бұрын

LOL!!! Great stories; excellent narration!

@TS-bj8my 11 ай бұрын

Good storys and great narration!

@Wastelandman7000 10 ай бұрын

First story: Scotty approves this message.. Second story: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

@von-shonfaison9931 11 ай бұрын

The humans kick alien butt and make alien alliances after😂😂😂❤❤❤

@snake57 11 ай бұрын

For the band known as the Al Gore Rhythms.

@wolfos420 11 ай бұрын

Nice.

@kdmbigpig 10 ай бұрын

We love you Catfish21

@bobbyharris1725 10 ай бұрын

❤it keep them coming! Jeers!!😅

@ironwolfF1 11 ай бұрын

The first story bears a mild resemblance to a certain Star Trek (TOS) episode...not that I mind it. 😉

@allenmorgan1007 11 ай бұрын

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

@tmac2744 7 ай бұрын

Story 1: Never insult a vehicle in front of its crew and/or maintenance personnel. Pain comes in many flavors, would you like to experience them all? Story 2: For all the battles, I suspect the humans were there, just that the aliens were unable to see them due to the weather conditions. Florida: they were standing just out of the aliens visual range in their shorts and t-shirts and waving while the aliens were blown away by the winds, crushed by debris, or drowned to flooding. Eaten by local snakes or alligators is also a possibility. Arctic: Depending on which region would dictate which arctic group (Inuit, Finns, Russians, etc.) were hidden in the snow watching them freeze to death. Australia: You just know that the Aussies were throwing a bar-b-que and watching the festivities. The aliens just claimed the humans weren't there to try and retain SOME sense of dignity, and the humans let them because it doesn't hurt them.