The opening number to a musical about someone who embodies hip-hop: the inventor of time travel, Heinz Doofenshmirtz. You laugh, but it's true!
Featuring Caitlyn Isle as Vanessa
Song Featured: Alexander Hamilton (Instrumental) by Lin-Manuel Miranda
Phineas and Ferb created by Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh
Lyrics:
Agent P: How does a disowned, ocelot, stand-in gnome, and a prodigy, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot inside of Drusselstein, by Providence impoverished in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
Norm: The Time Travel founding father without a father got a lot farther by working a lot harder by being a lot smarter by being a self starter by age six, he built an inator that got him started.
Monogram: And every birthday, his family wouldn’t stay and play, they went away, he struggled and kept his guard up. Inside he made a promise to be better for his daughter; the brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter.
Roger: Then his brother got born, and the man’s life was torn. For his father, little Roger would be the one to perform. When they played kickball, Roger would always score, then there was no more family love to have in store.
Agent P: Well the word got around, they said this kid is insane, man. Sent him to the ‘schtor’ just to send him to the mainland. Through all his evil schemes he won’t forget from whence he came, and the world’s gonna know your name. What’s your name, man?
Doof: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. My name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. And I will rule the Tri-state Area. So, just you wait. Just you wait.
Vanessa: When he was born his parents split, full of it, no kidding. Few years later, see Heinz at the fair, debt-ridden, half dead, being used as the ball for the dunk tank.
All: And he smelled like pork, it really really stank.
Milo: Found a friend Balloony, Balloony flew up into the sky. Left him with nothing but ruined pride, something new inside, a voice saying
All: Heinz you gotta fend for yourself.
Milo: He started retreating and reading every blueprint on the shelf.
Agent P: There would’ve been nothing left to do for someone less astute, he woulda been dead or destitute without a cent of restitution. Started working, clerking as a bratwurst vendor. Saving up to go to school and get an evil mentor.
All: Scamming
Agent P: for every book he could get his hands on.
All: Planning
Agent P: for the future see him now as he stands on the bow of a ship headed for a new land. In Danville you can be a new man,
All: In Danville you can be a new man. Doof: Just you wait.
All: In Danville you can be a new man. Doof: Just you wait.
All: In Danville you can be a new man. In Danville (Danville)
Doof: Just you wait!
All: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) We are waiting in the wings for you (waiting in the wings for you) You could never back down until you were Professor Time! Oh, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) When Dan Povenmire sings for you, will he know about all your schemes? Will they know about Agent P? Just watch it on Disney XD, oh...
Agent P: The ship is in the harbor now, see if you can spot him! Another immigrant coming up from the bottom. L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. destroyed his rep, America forgot him.
Monogram/Roger: We fought with him.
Norm: Me, I died for him.
Milo: Me, I trusted him.
Vanessa: Me, I loved him.
Agent P: And me, I’m the platypus that shot him.
All: There’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait!
Agent P: What’s your name man?
All: Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!