Thank you so much for sharing your story Cherry.

You’re a hero.

I want you both to know that I think so highly of you, and consider you to be exceptionally pure, intelligent people. I have so much respect for you, Dr. Linkov and Cherry. Thank you for your vulnerability and thoughtfulness.

Cherry Thank you for sharing and You are so beautiful!

Cherry you are very pretty!!! I know sometimes comments like that aren’t even affective because even if others find you attractive, that doesn’t mean you find yourself attractive. People expect you to see what they see, but it’s not like that when its YOUR self.

Is she Dutch? Lol

@@e.g.4483 Haha XD no but she was a middle child who acted as a parent to her 6 other siblings and she's from LA. She got to know a lot of celebrities and hang out with people of different economical and social backgrounds (like the Jacksons, Joan Jett, red hot chilli peppers and she had rich bougie friends who could probablyafford procedures she wasnt aware of) so I think she got this idea that the elite are average and average isn't good enough. She's like 5ft 5 maybe 140 and thinks she's super tall and chunky and she's always been remarkably slim and fit.

I'm sorry.

@@drewyflynn6778 the classic mom with body dysmorphia who then takes out her body dysmorphia on her child. im sorry you had to deal with that bullshit

@@drewyflynn6778 Ah ok. It makes sense but it's still not ok. I am sorry you went through that :( I asked becuase the Dutch will bully other people and just respond with "Well I'm just being honest!" when half the time what they said isn't even true, and they're just being abusive and gaslighting. Either way. Don't listen, it's just projecting insecurities. Also, your comeback was *chef's kiss* lol!

Solid burn

but what if its from your grandpa.

This👏👏👏

I have pretty large pouches under my eyes. When my Mom asks me if I’m tired I say ‘No, it’s genetic’🙂

😂😂😂💯💯💯

Me, too! So did my Dad, and today, at almost 72, I see the reflections of them, in the mirror! I guess I look alright for my age? Thanks to Mama and Dad! 💖❤️

Never heard from mine 🤘

When did you realise that you were average? Did someone tell you that? How did you feel?

I know what you‘re trying to say, but I don‘t like saying stuff like that, it gives „people only do plastic surgery if they didn‘t get enough love as a child or weren‘t complimented by their parents“

Average compared to what? to whom?

Exactly

agreed. we make too many excuses for "culture" sometimes. people shouldn't be allowed to hurt others.

Narcissist families.

My grandma said i was ugly because i was too dark 💀 she was a very sweet lady tho but colorism is strong in my country

@@depressinggen 💀💀💀

Amen! I have a ton of issues at age 40.....I can't remember either of my parent's EVER saying that I was beautiful or smart or funny or talented. You kind of give up on everything after 40 years of being invisible to your own parent's.

@@kemeee5407 That reply broke my heart, I am the same - hardly ever heard anything nice about myself from my parents.. unfortunately we think if even my parents don't think I am that great, then maybe I am not. Even though now I understand that not everyone has an easy time verbally expressing things and maybe they were brought up similarly, it's still messed up my confidence a lot.

Yesss, exactly

I never compliment people on their looks - don't care how old they are. There are tons of other things to compliment on. Don't make it about the physical appearance 🙏

Yes!!!!!

Thank you! 🙏

agree

I thought that's the norm. I once talked to a surgeon who specialised in noses, and had a very funny discussion on how he even got to the point where he studied medicine to then become the man that was so fascinated with noses, like how does that present on a date when a woman hears you're a surgeon and she thinks of a heart surgeon or something, and he goes "I specialised in noses". Not to play his title down, he was just a very funny guy, he said his trainride every morning was just him observing people and how he would tweek a nose to harmonise better with their given face. So what I gather from this is that it's not about achieving perfection, but to stick to what you've been given and still help create something that harmonises with the rest of the face. I'm really just saying this because your comment kinda implies that a majority of surgeons want to make money from changing people, but I was under the impression that these surgeons are there to help you and find a way to appreciate the impression your face makes while also adressing and understanding that you want to change something. Also I'm not someone who got a nosejob, I was seeing the surgeon for a different reason

If your plastic surgeon doesn’t do that, RUN!!

That's actually how it should be. From an ethical standpoint. So he's the real deal 😁

big hugs for you

Thats honestly terrible. No kid deserves to go through that.

My mother sayed: "When you cut your hair, no boy will like you anymore." Of course I got my hair cut the next day and colored orange and peroxy-blond. My dad two weeks later... looked at me: "Is there something different with your hair?" Me: "Mum! The boys still like me. Maybe because they did not even notice yet!"

Looks are irrelevant. Beauty is fleeting and anybody that depends on it is in for a surprise as they age. Good for you to realize this.

My mother is a narcissist and is now 96 years old and living in a nursing home. I have one sister. She looks a lot like my mom and so my mom has always talked about how pretty she is. I ended up looking like my Dad. He had a really big, homely nose. I got his nose. She would often say to me, "Well, he sure put his stamp on you". After I got married, she said, "If I had your money, I'd have had a nose job a long time ago". (We were just an average family raising our little boys). There's a lot I could say about growing up with that nose but I'll save it. What I want to say is: It's been a bizarre experience watching my narcissistic mother age. Everything is about her and everything is about what she looks like, what she's wearing, what her hair looks like, and so on. That was, and remains number one, in her life. While I wish I didn't have my nose, I can say that at least my heart was, and is, in the right place. I am nearly 65 years old. No one likes my mom.

I’m glad you went to Korea!!!

I think Patrician noses are beautiful 😘 my own nose has these wide flanks that appear as shadows on pictures, which looks weird.

I agree. I am a performer and grew up with ppl commenting on my looks. Because I always had my own style, I received both very postive and negative comments. I do not know if I would ever undergo surgery or even fillers though I am Gen X. It would have to do with my aesthetic sense rather than anything.

I have a very thin high nose bridge. I never liked it, not least because finding glasses that fit is a nightmare. I’ve developed an interest in kpop fairly recently, and it was hearing about how Koreans praise my type of nose (and the amount of people that get surgery to achieve it!) that made me realise that everyone is attractive to someone. Quite like my nose now, knowing people on the other side of the world like it, haha.

@@caz5624 That is great Caz!💜

I live in China and they all tend to do this: they say that the baby is too black, that their heads are too big, noses too wide. And they do it so transparently without any guilt or empathy. As a foreigner who is expecting a baby with a Chinese man, I hope my child doesn’t hear this, otherwise some in-laws might be scolded.

Alot of asian families do this. My vietnamese one did haha

@@Esoteraeon Sad. Any idea what’s behind it?

@@gabe-po9yi older generation of asians are extremely blunt and honest with their opinions 😅 you just gotta grow thick skin to withstand it honestly

@@Esoteraeon I see. Thanks for the info, I like learning about other cultures and generations.

Wow a single kind comment affected your self image and outlook. That is beautiful.

@@ririimari yes, she was a beautiful person inside and out ❤

Yes!

I had a simular experience. I always hated my nose. I dont have that ski slope Instagram nose. IT is not big. I Just didnt like the shape. My current boyfriend told me when we started dating that one of the things he thought was the most attractive about me was my nose. I thought it was a joke tbh. But he tells me all the time that he loves it. And it has made me look at it in a different way. I have fixed my nose in apps and asked him what he thinks. And he is like!! Nonono that takes away your whole perosnality. 😊 And i do agree i do love different looking noses. I dont think there is only one type of beauty 💖

I understand what you mean. I find my protruding upper jaw and smaller chin disgusting as fuck, but at the same time it makes me ME. I don't see myself shaving and modifying it to fit society's standards. that's the ultimate YIKES to me. Too much danger and unknown to do so

Stop defaming Mothers!

Yep. Being pretty is truly winning the lottery.

She surely forgot to add "also those pretty ones are mostly silver spoons btw, or just happen to live connected to fresh natural environment."

I'm sorry that happened to you!!! I hope you have people in your life now, who see how beautiful you are and that they tell you that ❤️

​@@zuzanazuscinova5209Life has many lotteries and no one can win them all!

@@zuzanazuscinova5209 No it’s not winning the lottery. I’m 68 and still told I’m pretty/beautiful. But one has people (men and women) come at you for all the wrong reasons. It’s not the gift you think it is. I also know plenty of women who were plain that were grifters looking for a free ride. Everything I have I worked for. Also have been around men who weren’t comfortable having a beautiful woman. Nothing is so thin it doesn’t have two sides.

Well said!

That’s deeper than most people realise ❤️

Or family

RM?

@@rayazarias4098 Yes 🌚💖

And my mom used to tell me, as she'd push up the tip of my nose "You know, if you had a different nose you'd be really pretty." In my teens and well into adulthood due to the many comments on the size of my nose,I've dreamed of having a "nose job" However in my twenties I saw a plastic surgeon on a talk show say "Many women have died under the knife for a face lift". If that didn't put an end for my desire for surgery, I watched a video of rhinoplasty being performed. The visual of breaking the bone, sealed the deal for me. Thanks but no thanks. Now I dream of the day when a permanent non invasive rhinoplasty becomes reality.; not holding my breath.

Same thing.

I couldn't imagine saying that to my daughter, im in awe of her every time I look at her. So sorry you had that growing up but I'm glad you didn't allow it to tear you down

@@bridgettstephens5582 oh get over it I’ve had a nose job it was so easy and I didn’t die

@@Mybabycase Your opinion is of no interest me; move along.

I hear ya, Kai

So true.

Yes!

Tbf, your parents probably fully think you are the most beautiful thing they ever saw. I feel that way about my 4 y/o son, I know rationally that he’s not actually a fallen angel, but to me I just see the most adorable creature on earth 🤷‍♀️

No need to flex your amazing parents ;-; Jkjk, I’m really happy for you!

@@edanagorham6757 AWWWWWWW that is so adorable!!!😇

@Mensanaincorporesano I think I achieved a lot by learning how to dress, make up and I stopped being so shy. I feel I am not naturally a pretty person, but with all the things I learned, I got prettier. Also, I have to say that now at my 30s, I am prettier than when I was a teen :/

"I seriously feel like strangling her sometimes." Can I be next?

@@blanchequizno7306 Yes, Blanche, you have my permission. :o)

@@IVant2BAlone sorry but I think she’s jealous of you.

My mother told me she was much prettier at my age than I was. I was 16. Narcissism at it’s best. She passed last summer at 92. Such a relief she’s gone.

My dad said the same crap growing up; it's not true. They're trapt in ideals the world has taught them. He always said "you'd be perfect if you lost a little in the middle" or "you know, you're pretty and all but your sister is DROP DEAD" meaning I wasn't.

I know you probably don't care about my opinion at all, but plenty of people think those types of noses are attractive & powerful & bold. I am sure you are beautiful!

I'll agree with the comment up. I adore greek noses, very attractive on both guys and girls. I'm sure your nose is beautiful on you.

Aww ur both really sweet - thanks 🥰🥰

I've always heard that a Greek profile is considered attractive and desirable.

I had a similar experience. It also happens continuosly with my small breasts. People automatically assume I want them bigger or say they're cute even if they're small, as if 'small' for boobs or 'big' for a nose is inherently bad. You need to realise your nose is fine regardless (some will find it beautiful, some other won't) and that it suits your face perfectly, not the standards but YOUR face. You exist beyond your beauty and, although beauty standards exist, it is subjective). Btw, I love both my aquiline nose and my breasts, I don't find plastic surgery appealing at all.

I struggle with this but I have my great grandmothers nose 😅

I also hated my nose and my ex (and my current bf too) always told me that my nose was cute and pretty. I'm no longer self conscious about it but i still do think im ugly at times

He was right.

Same, I always remind myself of that and it helps so much

That's a good man😊

That's great!

same lol! much love to u

Just a touch ;)

@@drgarylinkov 😂😂 dude almost feels like a human being sometimes

You can't get more likeable.

@@luxeford547 Dr Youn is pretty likable too

@@drgarylinkov Hey doc, how skillful are you at rhinoplasty?

I'm so sorry you experienced this.

Ive had people before say I was pretty when I asked if I was beautiful..And they did more mental abuse to me. It's never a good sign when they say "pretty" in place of "beautiful".

@@amberbest6942 it's just easier to say pretty tho

​@@amberbest6942 mental abuse because someone called you pretty instead of beautiful? that's quite the stretch. if you ask someone for their honest opinion, don't get upset if they give it to you. it's not a 'good' or bad sign that they said that, it's just their opinion. it's worse IMO to tell people they're beautiful when you don't mean it.

No offense, but what do you expect? You asked her, and she gave you her honest answer-you are pretty, but just not beautiful. Maybe you didn’t like the answer, but don’t ask for truths you can’t handle

Why do they do it?

Thanks!

Agree!

I know it might seem odd to comment this, but his skin looks so smooth and flawless. He looks very well hydrated I'm legit jelly sittin' here with my dry-ass flaky skin

@@MiotaLee LMAOO ME TOO😭😭

Her family might have body dis-morphia.

@@joanlynch5271 i dont think body dismorphia works like that

Agree 💯 Angie, absolutely!

@@1Hawting maybe they have body dysmorphia and jealous of how beautiful she us

Asian conformism. Hyper conformism.

I’m not saying she’s unattractive and I’m sad she felt that way but keep in mind she was wearing a lot of makeup in her before too. I think she looked better before also plus she went into surgery for others not for herself

I agree!!

her family and the people around her probably either loved putting her down or the standard of beauty there was unreasonably high

The thing with Asian families is that they often make those comments because they want to take you down a notch to keep you “humble.” It’s almost as if self confidence is viewed as a negative trait; like you’re full of yourself. That’s the older generation. But they don’t realize the pain it causes to their children. They were probably raised the same way. It’s just tons of generational trauma. I hope she can break the cycle and make sure she raises her children if she has any to be confident people.

@@mooncake4371 💯 being Asian I totally get it. They see confidence as egotistical and cocky. The good thing is the new generations are teaching their children to be humble and confident without the backwards thinking.

Why would he be with you if he thinks youre ‘like that ‘ in the first place?

A sick individual..

I'm sorry that happened to you. So happy you left and I hope you are in a better place now. I wish you all the luck for the future.

I dated a guy who said that. It turned out he was gay. I was angry for awhile, but then I just felt sorry for him. He was 32 when he came out.

Clearly a man like him had no balls to admit his own faults so thats why he degraded you as such On a serious note tho I'm glad you left him, he's such a toxic person

Thanks so much!!!

yes!!! My plastic surgeon made a point to keep the "ethnicity" in my nose as he said lol. I remember him teaching a resident surgeon in training and mentioning that he focuses on keeping the persons ethnicity when doing corrections like a septoplasty etc and i am so so grateful for that. Not only can i breath but my nose shape is still essentially the same

Exactly. Also surgeons who deal with the body too! A good doctor will NOT give a woman a huge booty when she has no hips or thighs, or giant boobs that look unnatural. They will tell u that it doesn't look natural with their body type and shape and that it should look evenly proportioned. A good doctor will refuse to do anything that he knows is not going to look right.

Thank you!

I think he’s handsome, too, and so did his beautiful wife! Ugly men can’t get women that beautiful!

@@kimberlyperrotis8962 Oh they definitely can lol, especially if they’re rich enough. I see wayyyy too many women that are together with an ugly man 😔

I also think he's beautiful , especially the way his lips are shaped , very interesting ! Some people have some unique features that just stand out, and he's one of them in my humble opinion , makes me wanna pick my pen and draw lol. Besides that , I absolutely enjoyed this vid , it was very insightful and professional .

I agree, demeanor goes a long way and I love his eyes, also the way he looks at the camera. I like it if someone looks different and stands out!

Wow, that's a shitty move by your dad.

You should’ve said you got your looks from him

Your dad sounds weird

I'm so sorry.

@@TheHilikus89 👀👀 Yeah… I would be watching him after that.

I bet your not ugly

My dad once left the gate open and my dog got lost. I started crying and he told me stop crying, you're ugly when you cry. He's just a bad father all around. I don't even pay attention to what he says anymore. He did the same to my mother over the years and she's beautiful. Just knocked her confidence. Some people shouldn't be parents.

My dad told me that, I just laugh tho lol

@@STI.Ricardito terrible thing for a dad to say

@@graeme1744 I’m not insecure and my dad is joking around so idc, and if he wasn’t either way is he supposed to say I’m a beautiful man? That’s gay lol

Calling someone pencil thin isn’t nice either and it makes you sound jealous and bitter.

@@chrismarcello7690 it’s an idiom. She wasn’t being mean.

​@@chrismarcello7690 as a pencil thin person I disagree. She was clearly just explaining her sisters were naturally on the lanky lean side. Ive had plenty of bitter people describe my body type in unflattering ways and this woman isnt one of them lol

Is that really true? Then why do older members of families constantly compain about their child/nephew/niece appearance?

Absolutely!! I’m 41,& all my life I’ve heard the phrase “If I knew then what I know now”. Never understood it till my late 20s/early 30s. Looks r superficial, but personality & character are truly what matters,& what gets u thru life. If u can get to a point in your life where u are ok with who u r as a person- it’s all up from there! 😊

@RN RN it depends on each person and mentality. I believe It doesnt matter how old you are, you can still be superficial and judge others the older you get bc some of my older family members complain about physical appearance of younger members. Especially considering height and weight and clothing. This is especially more so in some east/southeast asian cultures

@@yelloe You're absolutely right, older age doesn't equate with wisdom or serenity/acceptance. In some cultures and families/communities, there can be undue pressure for the younger members to look good, as if to carry on the pride of the older generations, to save face, etc. In tight-knit communities, it's not so surprising that all members would be expected to fit a certain bill (look alike) in features, clothing, jewellery, or even tattoos and body modifications. What might be truer is that as we age, and if we're not restrained by serious responsibilities etc., we tend to gravitate towards people would share similar values to ourselves and-incidentally-look like us. Those into a posh aesthetic will seek out people of similar status and aesthetics to hang out with; those who don't care too much and prefer to extoll the merits of seeing the beauty within...will hang out with similar-minded folks, who won't pay as much attention to looks. However, if you find yourself in some circles (family, coworkers, friends...) that make you feel less-than because of your appearance, it may be those people assess themselves through the image projected by their peers, basically in a "birds of a same feather" manner: so if they find the people around them not very attractive, to them it reflects badly on themself. With family it can be even worse, because often resemblance is belonging, and older folks yearn to see a bit of themselves in the young ones-and of course that bit should be flattering. It's not about you, it's all about how to make themselves shine better. At that stage, either they'll force you into glowing up (priding themselves on their advice and good taste) or kick you down (to distance themselves and prop themselves up). But not all people are like that; or at least we all have different metrics for judging the crowd we choose to hang out with. It's up to each of us to find people who match with our own lifestyle and values; otherwise we choose to cram ourselves into shoes that were never meant for us. Luckily, I do believe that *most* people come to care *less* about looks as they age, and that when they make insensitive comments it's without the intention to hurt or change the other. Just my theory, but would you concord?

Exactly

absolutely and social media in 2021 doesn't help but i think a lot of people tend to think they're uglier than they are bc a lot of how you feel about yourself is psychological not necessarily though you can still love yourself and want to change something that kinda bothrs you but to change for someone else or be called ugly by someone like she was is totally nonsense

We don't know if the guy was a bad boyfriend. He could have just had ED and she blamed herself for it.

@@BrieCheese True…she has some serious issues and needed therapy and not plastic surgery.

@@LexaTerrestrialx Agreed! It’s this whole Kardashianization of our country. Young women see whatever her name Jenner getting plastic surgery and literally making a billion dollars, so that’s the new sick standard. Many women are insecure about the way they look and many are total egomaniacs about their looks and can’t stop looking at themselves and sharing it on social media. They hit the genetic lottery and that’s not an accomplishment. Tik Tok, Instagram and KZfaq is a hotbed of freaking egomaniac men and women.

I absolutely agree with you. I have heard of the shaming based on looks from parents in some cultures. It's getting worse and worse, and some people do desperate and very scary things to themselves. And these girls are absolutely beautiful!! It breaks my heart.

One’s nose grows first and then the rest of the face catches up.

Decades ago, I caught part of an episode of some talk show that had two sets of identical quadruplets on - two sets of children, 4 boys around age 9 and 4 girls perhaps 5 years old. All identical. The little girls were quite fair and redheaded - and giggly - and they were all agreed as to which of them was the prettiest. So who knows??

It's not that shocking, it's the eternal 'beauty pageant' of judging and ranking women openly based on their appearance. I understand it's something established in society, but it needs to stop. People may never stop doing it, but they need to be told to keep it to themselves.

Tygerstripes, good point.

I watched other videos from Japan and it's usually there that if you got fat, your family will tell you that in first minute of meeting. Good looking is so important there that telling someone things like that isn't rude. You want him/her to know that he/she should change to fit and be success in life. Rude in my culture but standard in other 🤷‍♀️

Why should a wide smile be bad?

You're married and off the dating market , you shouldn't give a Dahm about what ppl outside your immediate family think of your looks

Aww what a beautiful story, u have an amazing family :)

Aw you are so sweet. Your husband chose you because he loves the way you look as you are - and that is beautiful and so are you

I can’t stand families that bully the kids in their family. They must have self esteem issues of their own if they feel the need to put her down. Even if she were considered not attractive; even though I think she’s pretty, no one should be telling some one that they look ugly.

Some people don't feel that way themselves. Like you can tell them *you* think they're pretty, but that may not change how they feel about themselves. Smarter people will research procedures like this or find ways to fix their insecurity. But just telling them they're pretty or that there's "nothing wrong" won't help all the time.

@@funkywunkywunker I totally relate, yet I think it might help a lot of people, but only in extremes. One or two people telling me my nose is good would never satisfy me. Now if all of a sudden hundreds of people told me? I'd start to believe them again.

@@maschaorsomething exactly. I'm pretty logic based. That's why it's harder to gain the confidence without doing something to change what bothers me!

🙏

They're jealous he's a doctor who could also slay high fashion runways.

@@yesterdaydream agreed!

Dr. Gary rocks in my book! 💟

I have the same idea but U haven't found the right time nor the right surgeon yet. Hopefully one day I will because it's not just for a better look but because it's deviated and I can't breathe properly.

But we can’t run from people judging us based partially on looks. So the least we can do is raise our kids with the most positivity possible, looks and everything else of course.

@PK Blondie It's all well and good to raise a kid like that, but unfortunately we live in a world that is hyper focused on youth and beauty... which are both fleeting, but.. yeah. I think most people have physical insecurities which makes me wish that diverse bodies were more celebrated.

But what if she's not smart? What if you tell her how smart, strong and independent she is all of her life and then any sign that she isn't as smart, strong, and independent as you've told her she is causes her to feel terrible about herself and feel like she's let you down? The point is, there is not any exact perfect option. Positivity is the best that any parent can do, and the most important thing is to be supportive of your children and help guide them through the insecurities as they come.

@@harperblankenship3017 is that the same as telling her she's attractive or pretty when she isn't? On a positive note her dads a plastic surgeon so everything can be fixed.

@@harperblankenship3017 There are lots of other traits we can recognize and reinforce in children: kindness, resourcefulness, creativity, persistence, empathy, emotional intelligence. Though at the end of the day, verbal praise is less important than focused attention and emotional attunement that kids need in order to feel seen and loved as they are, and to learn that they are indeed lovable.

Right! It's crazy because she was still so beautiful I can't believe her family or anyone else for that matter would call her ugly

thats all makeup tho

@@rellifyz it’s not lol stop it with the male cope. most women are naturally pretty while the same can’t be said for men 🤢

@@lg7855 nah ive seen hella ugly women

@@rellifyz lol.... Word bro

It's sad how it is. I feel the natural Korean face is beautiful and unique, and there's something beautiful about things that are just natural.

LIving in Korea I rarely meet young women who don't have eye surgery, but when I do meet them I think they're so beautiful

You are beautiful as you are… you don’t need surgery and I hope they don’t make you thinkyou do. The only people who comment on someone’s looks are insecure in their own.

yup 😐 even if you actually had the face they envisioned , they'll still find flaws 😐 better let in it one ear and out the other ear

Scorpios are cool and they're too good for the rest of the Zodiak. Tell them, "It sucks to be you because you're not a Scorp."

WoH what an ass ex

Life isnt easy but whoever reads bible, prsys (best on knees shows respect) & has faith in God has peace & joy beyond underdtsnding. In my twenties I was told on my job you're always pleasant & happy but I lived by myself, didnt make much $, but it just came out that I was ok, happy inside, even though I didn't have anybody to come home to for a long time. Understand, the lord can be ur husbsnd, wife. Mother, fsther, brother or sister & ur never alone.

@@GetReady4LiftOff Pray the ugly away.

Wow I feel so bad for her ! That's AWFUL

It is hard there, I am Scandinavian and loved in China for 3 years, one day my boss came to my desk and told me that I was looking fat, made a joke about, and the. Said that it was bad for the image of the company. I was told by a female colleague that that behavior is normal in China, and not considered rude…

@metteK. It is horribly, horribly rude and uncalled for. Don’t listen to them, next time you can say that by Chinese standards, which are impossible for you because you’re not Chinese, it may be true. But by Scandinavian standards, you are considered beautiful. It’s a good thing THEY are not in Scandinavia. Either way, at least you are a sensitive enough person to know it’s unkind to criticize others.

It's interesting you mentioned this. I wont name anyone but I know someone who grew up with both Asian parents, but one parent had several generations in the United States, the other was an immigrant from China. This person told me that their parenting styles were night and day despite being both Asian. The Asian American parent didnt care about how handsome or beautiful she and her family looked. She focused more on other aspects like teaching her children arts and crafts, and individuality and how that is okay. Whereas the parent who grew up in China would often tell their children that they could work on their acne, maybe if they got a nose job, they could find someone to marry, etc. It just illustrates how Chinese and American values are vastly different. And frankly I agree Chinese culture can be toxic and often results in children who end up very insecure about themselves.

It’s not always like that, I grew up with parents and relatives telling me how pretty I was every day

So true!!

Same reason me as a man is looking into jaw surgery lol

@@__-wm9lu I totally get it. Best of luck in your journey.

@Pixxel many women experience that too. I am surprised you assume otherwise. Self absorbed much?

@Pixxel wow. If that is your experience.

Its his charm 🤩 so handsome.

His head looks so clean and shiny like he was built for doing surgeries. No hair to have to pull back or cover up. 10/10 practical

Intelligence is a powerful aphrodisiac!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

🙏

💪💪💪🤩 ah yeah man!!! Being happy and successful is THE BEST that you can do as silent revenge to those who ever doubted you. I salute, stay cool always ✊✊

Thank you this is a great thing to say to a child

Lmlkmm

Yeah my mom was amazing too in her ways she would always boost my confidence and used to tell me how intelligent, expressive I am but since she was genuine with her compliments she would end it with but you're not a hard working person and without hard work intelligence is useless lol

What if your appearance causes you to not have achievements

Beautifully said!

I had the same issue and obtained rhinoplasty while in my 20s. Over the decades since, I have suffered sinus, allergy and breathing issues. Scar tissue was removed about twenty years ago but it has reformed again. No more nose surgeries for me.

I was told it’s the Chinese culture, older people believe praising a child beautiful will make her ugly, so that they say opposite, and it’s also being humble. My friend’s mom introduced my friend as ‘beggar’ daughter to her friends in China … it’s funny but she cried.

Great comment why on earth do we need to be beautiful what kind of life purpose is that just being good to look at according to some stupid standards

the sign of a person with a very easy life and with no real problems-- a desire to get plastic surgery. Fools!

Thanks!

Yes of course that’s true. This video was about beauty standards and that’s why I pointed out telling our daughter she’s beautiful. We tell her all the other things too ;).

I was raised like this and always got told "at least you're pretty" and that I don't have any other value. I developed huge complexes with my appearance, 2 decades of anorexia and low self esteem. It's very tiring to try to heal my heart in therapy.

Best advise I every received if you want the "hottest girl" so does every other male.......looks fad you better like the personality of that person....had a buddy truck driver on road all time retired and found his wife was "crasy" at home talking to the dogs.....3 months in he says to the boys I think she's crazy.......we all knew

@@anneong4350 A certain level of baseline praise should exist

Yes a good mix of praise. I was a pretty bright kid. Always told I'm SO smart. Which I kinda was. Started school a year early. Always the youngest in my class. And can remember having melt downs in grade school if I didn't understand a question or problem right away. It's a delicate balance to reach. I don't know if anyone gets it "exactly" right because we're all different. Just focus on the positives. All of them. Hair line is jacked? Not gonna mention it. But you have a beautiful cupids bow/lips. Dumb as a box of rocks? Don't focus on "well at least you're pretty" .... As a teen I'd hate my body cause it didn't look like the magazine images. But as an adult I realize I'm hot in my own way and unique style and I'm not the smartest person in the room but far from the dumbest. And I'm super ok with that now. Our quirks make us cuter than anything. Wish I realized this earlier in life. Glad I'm pretty ok now. It is also about maturing in your mind. I was book smart real young and got street smarts as a late teen. Balance, folks. I know doctors who can't pick up a line for a call placed on hold lol.... It's the ONLY blinky button lit up ... but they can out-doctor any other eye doctor I've met. We all have our strengths. Nobody has the total package. Or very few. Don't hold yourself to someone else's standards. Just be you ❤ love you guys Edit: also the reason I tell my cat (I have no kids, I'm 37 and she is 18 and has been my baby cat all these years) that she is just as sweet as she is beautiful. And I realize she doesn't understand the words as much as the sentiment. But it just seems like the right thing to do! Cause she is really so sweet and loving and gorgeous! And she doesn't seem to mind the extra encouragement! Meow!

beyond fucked up that your father was sexualizing you

Wow. That’s sad your father wasn’t smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself. Good grief. Big boobs aren’t what they are cracked up to be. Hard to shop for clothes, always too bouncy when doing anything athletic, unwanted attention and they sag when you get old.

@@Dbb27 I see that now and I’m so thankful I never got implants lol

Photoshop doesn’t account for that

I am sorry this is your experience. It is not ok and must be hard for you. It only shows that your family system is not functioning well. If a family assigns such a role to you, that shows their ugly and weak sides of the heart. I am not saying that to be rude. But it is a choice to put somebody down or to fight your own demons a

Ppt 2 and be kind. If you already told them how that makes you feel, I hope you can get help elsewhere. Please talk to friends to get support, you deserve to be apprrciated

:( that's so mean. Why? 💞 I'm sure you are lovely inside and out.

My brother always called me fat growing up

I went through the same thing....36 years old now and still in the process of overcoming and uprooting the lies...reprogramming my soul with a new narrative

It's ridiculous that she thought she had a problem with her looks, it's all in her head... her nose was totally fine before, actually much better than the one after that looked really artificial. There are lots of other reasons why the guy couldn't get it up so it's silly to jump to the conclusion that it's her face that's the issue.

Aww thanks.

I have an ex that had ED, it started when he was with his ex before me. He realized that once he cared about a woman he just stopped thinking of her sexually. We broke up because of this and a few years later I ran into him again and he said it’s still an issue, he only has interests in one night stands.

@@anditspaganpoetry that's clearly a psychological issue...he might want to get some professional help for that.

Not to mention that a lot of men nowadays have disfunctions as very young. If they aren't open about it, and their partners aren't too emotionally involved, it's the best to part ways without making it their problem. In most cases, a healthy relationship should involve a healthy sex life.

@@anditspaganpoetry Thats weird. I'm the opposite.

Of course it's about attractiveness or rather, being attracted to the other person. Maybe the guy had an impotency problem, maybe HE was insecure but it's also possible that HER feeling unattractive caused her to act in a way that made the situation awkward and destroyed "the mood".

I love that.

So he'd disable them

@@trashbag6406 What? Disable them how?

@@SmittenKitten. no hands disabled you, it makes life hard and prevents you from doing things

bruh god doesnt make people your parents make people thas so weird like there is literally science between why the way we look and it definitely is not bc of some god

Go queen!!!

Thanks!