I tried these tricks on my bassoon and knocked down my ceiling fan

If your instrument is too cold, light it on fire to warm it up. *only works on wooden clarinets

I came here for legit advice and I got this.

The first step killed me, but the rest paid for the funeral.

Wow, this guy is master level sarcastic. I mean I had to watch for several minutes as the suspicion grew and grew until "The shoulder shrug" confirmed it. It might have taken me longer since I'm new to the instrument. I mean hey, you do get some phase and intonation effects as you move an instrument around and explore the stage, hehe.

We need more clarinet videos like this

There is another technic you forgot to mention - that you must wear ear plugs because all the musicality is visual and you mustn't let the sounds interfere with the performance.

Independent auditors said that my playing improved 126 and a half percent when using all these techniques simultaneously and when I get out of this hospital I just know I'm going to be a clarinet superstar! Thank you so much. I'm going to contribute $10 to your highly educational video program.

I've seen performances by clarinetists and saxophonists who must have attended the same School of the Dark Arts as you did!

This video discriminates against clarinetists who have no shoulders.

Is this why I always find that professional clarinettists move around a lot?

Is a second video coming? You left so much out that I need instruction on... Eyebrow raising - both together and singly. Opening eyes wider. Very important: closing eyes for an extended period. Moving ears. Head gliding forward and back. Moving head relative to clarinet. And even subtle head movements RELATIVE to the clarinet. Perhaps also mention importance of hair style and skin condition and how it changes the sound. Clothing is important too... colour and texture of the fabric. Even winkle-pickers for added projection.

"you hear the sound just flow out of my armpits..." This is what true musical genius sounds like.

Combine all of this together and you can become a Master of the Universe - like Martin Fröst.

The final thoughts though. Kids, please BE CAREFUL while using these DARK techniques!

I was hoping you would talk about the aggravated head twitch done when the music is being stubborn and you have to force the phrase out with aggression.

Hahahaha!!!!!! Having played for almost 30 yrs now, the recognition factor is total! Thank you for making me laugh so hard I almost cried. Kindly, Annika - Swedish clarinetist.

This is honestly one of the most hilarious videos I have ever seen.

The sounds I made when watching this video were not human, I could not stop laughing!!!! It's also funny to see that I do a couple of these things (finger pull, sound sweeper, just to name a few). XD Loved this!!!

love all the videos I have seen so far but this is brilliant!

I can't tell you how happy I am that you made this video. I'm going to do everything I can to help it go viral. I have a sneaking feeling that these techniques do not apply only to the clarinet!

Fabulous. I've met lots of clarinetists who use these techniques :)

This video made my morning and it will take a few hours for the smile to fade from my face and for my cheeks stop hurting. Thanks for touching upon these topics in a hilarious manner!! I'm going to share this with all of my students.

The resonance of our armpits!!!! I am dying!!!!!!!

You need a classical saxophonist to teach to right arm pump technique (gets notes out of the horn faster)

Hey Michael! I've been watching you for years, but missed this one, and can't wait to send this to my students. BTW, something I haven't seen anyone say yet: in addition to each one of these being hilarious, you sound fantastic in each example. Bravo!

I tried some these techniques with my partner and my kids... brought tears to their eyes. Clearly I have more work to do. Thank you for sharing.

The end-of-piece flight is proportional to the weight of the instrument and the number of notes played, which is why bass saxophonists need such a strong harness, or preferably to have the instrument bolted to the stage, and why we usually only play bom - bom - bom - bom notes instead of all the twiddly diddly stuff. I played Flight of the Bumblebee once using a normal sax sling, and there was a hole in the ceiling afterwards. I really liked that instrument too.

This killed me! Like this was grade A hilarious. "If you wanna go to an 11... use both shoulders" 😂😂

Yup try the finger pull on your bass clarinet see if it drops

I'm glad I watched this intently. You've saved me enough money on the ballet lessons that I thought I needed to learn these skills that I'll be able to afford that new professional bass clarinet! At one point, I even considered moving to Italy so I could find who taught Corrado Giuffredi these moves!!!!

I acually thought that maybe this was a real video untill ..... funny I have no idea how he says any of this with a straight face

This is hilarious! I don't yet play the clarinet but I have found that my alto sax, like the clarinet, can sometimes want to start floating away, although as its heavier, doesn't usually get too far. I can stop it if this starts to happen, by bending notes and playing lower. As the notes bend and get lower, this creates some extra weight around the bottom of the inside of the bell and brings it back down. Another benefit over a clarinet I find is that the sax makes a good guard instrument against other unwanted woodwinds. It can get a bit loud and growl at them and this usually scares them off and shows who is boss.

I love it. As well as good clarinet technique you have great presentational skills!

I really do like your philosophy and humor, keep on going.

This is precious. Thanks, Michael!

I noticed first with Pandit Mukesh Desai how he lifted and settled his arms when singing, sometimes drawing across as if with a bow. My fellow students were annoyed when I began copying the arm gestures . . . but the modulation of which part of the lung the air was coming from made a huge difference in being able to follow the modulations of dhrupad music scales and slides and variations. What great sharing we receive here with the clarinet! In the body flexing trunk or head pumps the right adrenal gland (it has a horizontal membrane in the middle); while rotating the neck or trunk pumps the left adrenal gland (it has a vertical membrane in the middle). The gestures of both 'yes' and 'no' put cortisol into circulation - which not only gives inner strength ('yuan chi' in Chinese medicine) but also re-tunes each cell type of the body in the nucleus at the control panel where each cell has 50 antennas to adjust. In Kundalini process each chakra 'lotus petal' is it's own instrument and is associated with an organ, a phoneme sound it resonates to, and an effect it has inside and out. From the anterior tip of the tailbone ... to the back of the heart ... to the third eye ... and right out the top of the head... And don't forget moola-bandha, jalandhara-bandha and uddiyana-bandha! May the 'force' be with you ... because the more you open inside (once the central channel opens) the more everyone around you connects with the uplift and freedom from being bound that we all feel...

Like many, I initially thought this was a serious video. To be fair, we do need to have some fun on the channel as well as the gold we are given so much! I really enjoyed the dead-pan delivery and the sarcasm. Now to check out some of the excellent real videos on the channel.

Wow! I can't believe how much better I'm gonna get! Thanks Nosferatu!

Thanks been trying to find ways to refine my clarinet sound and this method really works.

Best video yet! Bet you could turn this into a coffee table book to sell...

There are two techniques used by saxophonists... the "leg thing" and the "foot stomp". The "leg thing" is where you bring up either knee about even with the bell of alto or tenor saxophone. You can do that with the toe pointed down (the more refined technique) or bottom of foot parallel to the floor. Related to the "leg thing", the "foot stomp" is similar but you only bring the foot up about 10"-12" off the floor. When a saxophonist does either the "leg thing" or the "foot stomp" it is done with one leg only, always on the same side. Guitarists do this sometimes, too. So far, I haven't seen any clarinetists do either of these techniques, but I'm sure you could combine this with the "shoulder shrug" or the "soup stir".

many thanks for a great laugh! and it lightens up the hard work and efforts!!!

my band director quit and formally asked me to take his place when I started using these techniques, thanks for your help!

Finally I have a direction to my playing. Thank you so very much! I now feel free.

I clicked on this looking to sound 110% better but instead I feel 110% better. Amazing, haha.

Omg this is SPOT ON!!! I've seen ALL of these techniques used (and even used some myself lol) They really work!!! 😉

I didn't know I was that good! I've learned many of these techniques without ever knowing it! Great stuff, every clarinetist has to see this!

I've sucked at the clarinet all this time.. until I saw this video! This video turned me into a wonderful clarinetist! My tone quality sounds amazing! Will definitely give you credit when I become famous. :)

Love this video! I laughed so hard when he talked about clarinetists floating away! Great video

This guy is amazing! Hilarious...yet so on point! I love it!

I like this because it seems like there are so many implicit forces pushing against any physical expression when playing, so people end up being as static and rigid as possible out of inhibition or self consciousness...this gives one permission to explore physicality and movement while playing. It is enjoyable to be able to move,sway and almost dance while playing so to feel the music and find more subtle tones with the instrument.

I got trolled so hard

Outstanding!

Well, I subbed. Love your humor! :D

I love this video, expands my horizon... , I am tenor sax player, I wonder if I should implement these technique..

loved the video!!

What exactly is in your mug at the beginning? ;)

I forgot my neckstrap once, but luckily had some extra rubber bands in my backpack - this was years ago at a parade, and I was already on my third clarinet in less than two years. I'm sure it would have been fine since there were so many nearby trees, but you just can't be too careful. Thank you for reminding me!

Everything about this video is wonderful

My daily warm up, 1 hour standing upside down on my head doing long tones. Made a contraption on the ceiling to hold the bass clarinet.

Just brilliant :-)

Fantastic!

Thank you so much for all this invaluable advice! My new clarinet gets here tomorrow, so I can put your techniques to use right away. After I master them I will go to the music store to buy incidentals like reeds, fingering charts, sheet music, cork grease, ear plugs and stuff. How long will it take me before I can start posting videos like yours? After all, it has been 57 years since I last played a clarinet. And I'm not kidding about the new clarinet and 57 years.

This really helped me

Literally dying from how great this is! 👍😂

Just seeing this one. I'm crying-! My favorite - the resonating cavities of the armpits!! BRILLIANT!!

I started watching and as he was showing the "soup stir", this was my train of thought: "What's the date of the video? Hmm, not the 1st of April, weird... Could he be at least partially serious?! In what way would my former professor kill me if he saw me doing that? Ok, this is some next level sarcasm."

I've been doing it all wrong ... ! can't thank you enough man!

I Love It!!!! Thanks! :)

I found what helps with the end-of-piece-flight; I stand absolutely still to concentrate and clench my jaw to keep my sax in place.

This is absolutely hilarious. I love it!

I personally find that combining the sound sweeper with the shrug proves to give you amazing results

Some people may think it's a joke, but it actually works really well when playing, especially if you're playing a really long note, or a series of very short notes. I don't know why, it's really counter intuitive, but it just works.

Loved it.

This ...is... awesome!!!

Can I do this for marching band with a Bari sax?

Thank you - a bit craziness is always welcome to our instrument!

dude you're awesome

Bravo! as a followup to this segment perhaps you can suggest the important insurance policies that might be needed to achieve piece of mind prior to attempting any and all of the techniques shared. i look forward to hearing more from you . PS I realize now that I need a much larger practice area to work in. Peace

You forgot the knowing and loving looks musicians give to the other members of the ensemble when playing an emotional section of a solo as if they are falling in love with each other with understanding nods of the head and friendly raising of eyebrows LOL This was a great self micky take and I giggled throughout. If you ever give up music I suggest you take up comedy. Loved it

I knew it!!!! Another good tip.... We can execute the most difficult cumbersome passages in the worst possible keys by simply developing a proper flexible elastic embouchure. F# major.... simply play in F and bite down hard. Why play in Ab major when the dexrarity and ease of G can be transposed to Ab with the use of advanced "Klingon" embouchure. Strong like bull, smart like streetcar!!!!!! Cheers :)

You forgot my favorite one- "davening", like rocking up and down like you're reading a prayer book kind of thing. While I have your attention though- I'm really curious if you would consider doing a few videos addressing the contralto/contrabass clarinets? I have a Selmer resonite contralto and a LeBlanc metal contrabass (both straight, not paperclip). Would love to see your tips on getting the most out of these instruments.

I would like to see a video done on the three pieces by Stravinsky on clarinet (or bass clarinet, or both) I would be interested to know about how you approach those pieces

This made my day.

I never realized I did the shrug when playing

I hate it when i start flying in the middle of a performance :(

tfw I thought I'd learn something tonight lmao still funny and worth the watch

I love this! Laughing throughout the whole video.

Brilliant. :)

Fantastic

WOW, before I started using these no one took me seriously, but when i started flying up to the ceilng all the 2nds and 1sts, were like, oh man we got competition, THANK, SO MUCH

I’m sure you all have seen Martin Frost play. He does it all!!! I see him and think he IS going to lift off!! 💃🏻🎼🎵🎵

LMAO (I rewatched this one again), I can't even imagine the number of cuts you must've made to realize it, I'm sure you were laughing the whole time.

Another tip -- wear a blond wig and a red dress. Just be careful not to get the wig hair stuck in the clarinet keys as you swing the hair around.

I'm gonna be completely honest with you, I do all these things on sheer impulse, people in my band think i'm crazy, But it doesn't matter, get into it. Moral of the story? Get into it and be careful.

best video yet

I was always told to not have my arms squeezed to my side. So I've always had my arms a little bit more outward when I play. And the finger sweep seems like a cool idea. XD

What’s the name of the first piece he plays?

I could be wrong, but Bassoons and Euphs were ruled off limits due to the increasing prevalence of "Shatner's Bassoon" syndrome. If allowed to use or transmit these ninja level techniques, time could stop worldwide for all bassoonists and euphonium players anywhere whenever a simultaneous occurrence took place. The stakes were far too high. Again, music must pay the price.