Eddie Pepitone - Losing Your Virginity to Your Professor

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Eddie Pepitone - Losing Your Virginity to Your Professor - This Is Not Happening

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Күн бұрын

In the late 70s, Eddie Pepitone lost his virginity to his college history professor. (Contains strong language.)
Follow Eddie Pepitone on Twitter: @eddiepepitone
About This Is Not Happening:
Now hosted by Roy Wood Jr., This Is Not Happening features long-form storytelling from stand-up comedians, musicians and more. These outrageous stories show why real-life experiences always make the best material.
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Пікірлер: 765

@standup 5 жыл бұрын

In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: kzfaq.info/sun/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ

@minecraftpickles Жыл бұрын

I’ve watched prolly like 100s of these comedy specials but this one has been my favorite.

@dannymendiola 5 жыл бұрын

"Have whatever reaction you want, just know that it's gonna be met with extreme hostility" lmaoooo

@Enrique-peralta 5 жыл бұрын

The story makes him 61 1977 42 years plus 19 equals 62 not 70

@dannymendiola 5 жыл бұрын

@@Enrique-peralta hi En P

@Schmidty1 5 жыл бұрын

"I'm from staten island, we communicate by hitting each other with bats." Lmao, I'm dead 👌🤣🤣🤣

@user-os5ur6vz5m 5 жыл бұрын

Schmidty same

@patchworkundead4787 5 жыл бұрын

Also sounds like Boston

@paolocoletti1574 3 жыл бұрын

the language of the world.

@reenysharamesh2679 5 жыл бұрын

These are the elderly people I always want to be around 💯

@mikebarnes7441 5 жыл бұрын

These?

@writersloane 5 жыл бұрын

Elderly?

@TOOTALLLLLL 4 жыл бұрын

People?

@goonerboi7763 4 жыл бұрын

@emmapinheiro5422 4 жыл бұрын

Always?

@jonjaquez 5 жыл бұрын

I used to LOVE the intros now I can't skip em fast enough

@broken_blade2087 5 жыл бұрын

Seriously. No Ari, no soul.

@gaelenmckee6400 5 жыл бұрын

Never really liked them that much, they were always sort of stupid, but in a funny way. Now they are just unbearable

@hossmusic2041 5 жыл бұрын

@@broken_blade2087 100%

@arlandoamb6754 5 жыл бұрын

Me2

@steezeydeezey6343 5 жыл бұрын

They are the worst and its weird cause Roy Wood Jr. is actually really funny

@xray_usa6839 5 жыл бұрын

I love how he just has a good time with the audience.

@nicklongoria5585 5 жыл бұрын

Man, I felt this on a spiritual level. Eddie’s screams are how I imagine my own internal critic would sound like if it became its own sentient being and followed me around for the rest of my life yelling at me every time I did or said something stupid. Good stuff here.

@mark1952able 4 жыл бұрын

Nick Longoria; Italian Americans.............why not?

@gremlinvibe 3 жыл бұрын

Eddie is so relatable. He's a man of the people ❤

@paolocoletti1574 3 жыл бұрын

@@mark1952able what does that mean mark....what is it you want to express.......

@paleamigo8575 3 жыл бұрын

The way Eddie changes tones throughout his story adds value to the jokes. Very funny dude.👍

@captaintenacity8761 5 жыл бұрын

Love how half the video is Eddie going off a tangent about absolutely nothing lmao

@Dash-dd1ro 4 жыл бұрын

No it deff about how capitalism are fucking us

@-scorpionox- 4 жыл бұрын

You need to have a very low IQ to think he wasn't talking about anything.

@georgepotter353 4 жыл бұрын

@@Dash-dd1ro try communism. It's a gas :)

@gabelogan56 4 жыл бұрын

@@georgepotter353 you're even worse than the idiot before. Sheesh.

@macaronicheese8721 4 жыл бұрын

Communism is horrible

@evildoesnotsleep-x2b 5 жыл бұрын

this was so satisfying and funny. especially, the part where he goes on about how he admired her passion, her ideas and knowledge. it's rare and beautiful to not only love a person but also the fact that they're passionate about something in their life

@nathaniel6958 5 жыл бұрын

He looks like when timmy Turner wished to be older

@kaine3805 5 жыл бұрын

omg bro that is so accurate

@MmmMulholland 5 жыл бұрын

Oh my god hahahahahahhaha

@jayduby5330 5 жыл бұрын

He looks like Bruce Willis with a breakdown.

@benjipesci5197 5 жыл бұрын

Wait, he was with her six years, but never graduated...i don't think it was her fault he didn't finish

@karikling8812 5 жыл бұрын

double entendre?

@sweet65mustang 4 жыл бұрын

Wait........ six years and he never finished?

@michaelsalazar7224 4 жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing

@jjoedirtt 3 жыл бұрын

@@sweet65mustang sounds like he’s fudging the numbers a bit😂

@christofferjenzen78 Жыл бұрын

This is like historys longest extracorricular.

@Billy_Carter 5 жыл бұрын

"I CAN PUT BREAD IN WATER! HAHAHA! SEE THE BREAD GET BIGGER!?"

@Roamr1720 5 жыл бұрын

Literally, almost died laughing at that.. hilarious!

@lindsaydahl9748 5 жыл бұрын

my talents: 1. putting bread in water 2. that’s it

@sonavagun9283 4 жыл бұрын

You're a fucking idiot

@sonavagun9283 4 жыл бұрын

I honestly think that's the dumbest piggyback comment I've ever seen. How could you even think that's funny or God really?

@sonavagun9283 4 жыл бұрын

I'm scared that you're allowed to fuck and make more people

@bazingabonk2987 4 жыл бұрын

sonavagun Are you okay

@veiikure 4 жыл бұрын

sonavagun nice mental breakdown

@spicymilk491 5 жыл бұрын

Angry new York noises*

@ricksanchez1149 5 жыл бұрын

This gave me a chuckle, I love living in NY, love it here.

@mark1952able 4 жыл бұрын

Luv N.Y. noises!!!

@dreww8941 5 жыл бұрын

I’m watching this in my world history class, but my professor is a middle aged married man. Should I go for it?

@paytonbarnett8641 4 жыл бұрын

Drew W Hell yeah partner!

@-scorpionox- 4 жыл бұрын

You should fucking pay attention to your professor.

@matthewflowers3495 4 жыл бұрын

@@-scorpionox- but if he bangs him it's extra credit

@sammndl9592 4 жыл бұрын

Ross Geller says hi

@sammndl9592 4 жыл бұрын

Ross Geller says hi

@DrDizzleFrizzle 5 жыл бұрын

This woman sounds like everything I could've ever wanted.

@awesomeojoe123 5 жыл бұрын

Seriously dude this guy lived a fantasy I didn't even dare to dream lol

@DrDizzleFrizzle 5 жыл бұрын

@Pedro Abreu there's literally nothing in the story to suggest that, but sure

@thisguyrighthere3647 5 жыл бұрын

A communist.

@DrDizzleFrizzle 5 жыл бұрын

@@thisguyrighthere3647 yep

@RoryGFan-39 4 жыл бұрын

@@thisguyrighthere3647 ok Joseph McCarthy...

@jim1550 5 жыл бұрын

I'm convinced that dude on the right in plaid with the dead stare, is a robot installed from the Rock-afire Explosion band as crowd filler.

@MrShivshank 5 жыл бұрын

i know right. i was like wtf is up with that guy, maybe he had to many edibles or was having a panic attack or something.

@MaxTrash01 5 жыл бұрын

He was probably uncomfortable with the massive amount of communism 😂

@SolaceCaelus 5 жыл бұрын

He actually pops up in a few other vids and he always has that dead stare

@Poppacap79 5 жыл бұрын

He looks like Froggy Fresh.

@LightningNC 5 жыл бұрын

2:16 -- _"... and so then I went to the college of Staten Island."_ OHHHHHH. Now all of the pieces fall into place.

@ohboy6139 4 жыл бұрын

"There's been revolutions all over and there will be one here eventually" And now we're living in it :')

@godens34 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like revolutions succeed when people come together, otherwise it's just business as usual

@angelnajar8599 5 жыл бұрын

After hearing 6 years I was done for lmao

@angelbishop4164 4 жыл бұрын

I feel like this is what would happen if Bernie Sanders did drugs...

@tylershowman8590 4 жыл бұрын

You think Bernie Sanders has never done drugs? Lmao

@nicholasjohnston4167 4 жыл бұрын

Angel Bishop Bernie definitely did do drugs

@Shenanigans11223 4 жыл бұрын

Except it’s DAMN well true, you’re just naive to see.

@ketercognitohazard 3 жыл бұрын

You think Bernie doesn't currently smoke weed?

@nicholasguerra2498 3 жыл бұрын

If bernie sanders was your schmuck of a kinda cool uncle

@matthew-epurnell1610 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much for featuring Eddie Peppitone on this show! He is an excellent comedian & I highly recommend seeing him live. I hope you're able to have him on this show again very soon.

@MachSea 5 жыл бұрын

Anyone else always skip the intro?... What a horrible idea to spoil the story before it even starts.

@pucas420 5 жыл бұрын

always

@MachSea 5 жыл бұрын

@@pucas420 Ahh, an intellectual.

@michaelwlazlinski8967 5 жыл бұрын

Did you know they keep doing it because they dont read the comments.

@MachSea 5 жыл бұрын

@@michaelwlazlinski8967 Wouldn't be surprised, boss.

@ProperlyGaming 5 жыл бұрын

I mean the story is in the title on this one so no big deal, but yeah it can be annoying

@belleignacio4503 5 жыл бұрын

Pre Prozac hit me hard 😂 bruh I was 104 pounds and then I took Prozac and it’s been a year and I’ve gained 40 pounds despite doing the most workouts I’ve ever done and a professional dancer 🤦🏽‍♀️

@UrbanClimber 4 жыл бұрын

Then dont Take it or make a Meth diet

@leiladekwatro3147 3 жыл бұрын

@@UrbanClimber bruuuuuhhhhhh😂😂😂

@UrbanClimber 3 жыл бұрын

@@leiladekwatro3147 Amphetamin diet is enough

@babygorilla4233 5 жыл бұрын

Ben Shapiro be like, "and that is how left wing collages indoctrinates people".

@roxasreturns2183 4 жыл бұрын

Collages are pictures, just a heads up

@NoMaloneUnturned2 4 жыл бұрын

@@roxasreturns2183 LMAO

@junkiejackflash 4 жыл бұрын

He's right. A collage I made eventually indoctrinated me into papier mache

@Sulposition 4 жыл бұрын

Exactly, rules for radicals..disgusting.

@teo5836 4 жыл бұрын

I love that he keeps his few strands of hair on the top of his head lol gives a lot of character haha

@Planetless0 5 жыл бұрын

this old dude gives me flashbacks to when i was a cashier at walmart and old people would get really hostile with me

@mark1952able 4 жыл бұрын

Max Baxley; He's only old physically.............

@mellownessuperstar2618 4 жыл бұрын

Hate the waste of money intros but LOVE the stories! Hilarious. "Blood flying everywhere.." Hahaha

@mickeygallz5483 5 жыл бұрын

"It's been going on forever" Amen

@koshar44 5 жыл бұрын

Young men have a bad habit of ruining good things. I know i did.

@Bedevere 5 жыл бұрын

It's even worse when you ruined a good thing more than once....

@koshar44 5 жыл бұрын

@@Bedevere Its a sad country song indeed.

@noirling1 5 жыл бұрын

Young people, in general, have a certain way of sabotaging themselves when it comes to their love life.

@09smartin1 5 жыл бұрын

I messed up many things in my younger days. Still learning to be a decent man

@brocklefrog 5 жыл бұрын

Right there with you bro, just keep looking forward.

@gabbyquigley 5 жыл бұрын

Clicked to see if he was the professor or the student. 😂😂

@raphaelm7221 4 жыл бұрын

he'd be in jail

@seanbrennan5469 3 жыл бұрын

No he wouldn't iv known college professors who married students ...

@kendrom 3 жыл бұрын

He’s a great storyteller. I really enjoyed listening to that.

@evantrim5209 5 жыл бұрын

"FATHER IM IN THE FAMILY"😂😂

@astrologicalbum6616 5 жыл бұрын

"IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOREVA"

@JesusGallardojg 4 жыл бұрын

That little chuckle he has when describing his body in the 70's

@brimmyburner7530 5 жыл бұрын

"Are you my friend and my daddy?"

@papi_sativa 4 жыл бұрын

the red-haired big girl w/ the choker chain is really feelin this story

@BodyByBenSLC 4 жыл бұрын

He must have been gorgeous for her to put up with him for 6 years.

@Eeland_Stribling 2 жыл бұрын

Eddie is one of the best comedians. Especially live. Unreal.

@RunsettsBricks 2 жыл бұрын

This guy was fucking hilarious live, absolutely blew the other comics out of the water no conpetition

@bi-polarp7629 5 жыл бұрын

Old= Wisdom Old= Good Stories Old= Experience But most importantly...JOKES!

@YungHanamichi 4 жыл бұрын

He’s a background character in Old School didn’t even notice until today I kept hearing “WHERE ARE U” in my head lmao

@belsnickel9568 5 жыл бұрын

I saw the thumbnail and was like, “Damm what happened to Tom Papa”

@ketercognitohazard 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@percussionpunisher8694 5 жыл бұрын

This was goddamn hilarious! Can’t wait for his special to be released!

@marktaps7611 5 жыл бұрын

If you want to skip the always lame intros go to 1:03

@lupesanchez6980 5 жыл бұрын

Your a true hero good sir. I tilt my hat to you, your a true gentleman and a scholar

@Jangmo_SC 5 жыл бұрын

Ari did it better

@bleaumccray-morel8385 5 жыл бұрын

Mark Taps your doing God’s work bro

@Michaeljefferson9000 5 жыл бұрын

@@Jangmo_SC For me maybe half of Ari's intros were entertaining and even then only the first time. Everything else was boring at best and obnoxious at worst, to the point where I just skipped through them all. I mean, you can only see slow motion screaming so many times before you get tired of it.

@workingguy6666 5 жыл бұрын

How much of the lame comedy routine do I have to skip to get to the good part? Hell, the intro was far better than this guy's first half, so I'm giving up.

@mauromedrado993 5 жыл бұрын

BAGUETTES!!!

@alexcoyg3281 4 жыл бұрын

Watched his netflix special a million times,just a super duper guy that Eddie!!

@ModTea 5 жыл бұрын

His dad impression kinda sounds like Jerma's yell.

@hurrifanc.3434 5 жыл бұрын

I fucking love this man. One of the most underrated comedians today

@hediyehb9082 5 жыл бұрын

Same story with a happy ending, and you got yourself Emmanuelle Macron, the president of France

@flanexism0165 5 жыл бұрын

“What was that, you fuck?” I CANT

@articat568 5 жыл бұрын

Holy shit this was actually one of my favorite stories yet

@nicerguise3225 4 жыл бұрын

Eddie Pepitone Always. Fucking. Slays.

@YouHadMeAtMoonPie 3 жыл бұрын

HILARIOUS. I’d love to see him live. Gotta find his podcast!

@arndarnd1351 5 жыл бұрын

“what’s the matter you fuck” i have never seen someone do that shit on this series and im so fucking glad it did LOL

@TheOrionApex Жыл бұрын

The "GEEZ!!" I hollered after he said 6-years. 😂

@NomNomGohan 5 жыл бұрын

AYE the magical thicc girl is back in the front row and all is right with the world

@audreymuzingo933 5 жыл бұрын

Hilarious as ever, but the ending is actually pretty sad. And think of how sorry we'd feel for him if he were a woman and the professor was a man.

@iliveontheinternet1009 5 жыл бұрын

Who says people don't feel sorry for him?

@audreymuzingo933 5 жыл бұрын

@@iliveontheinternet1009 I certainly didn't.

@iliveontheinternet1009 5 жыл бұрын

@@audreymuzingo933 Then why would you comment that people would feel sorry for him if he was a woman in that situation?

@audreymuzingo933 5 жыл бұрын

@@iliveontheinternet1009 Try rereading what I said, very slowly and carefully.

@iliveontheinternet1009 5 жыл бұрын

@@audreymuzingo933 "And think of how sorry we'd feel for him if he were a woman and the professor were a man" This suggests that no one left this video feeling sorry for him. Maybe you should reread what you wrote. Very slowly, of course

@ballisticmonkey999 5 жыл бұрын

Has the funniest yelling voice next to Ari.

@jasonzcomedy 3 жыл бұрын

"It's been going on FOREVER!"

@davis0730 5 жыл бұрын

What a set. I need this dude to be on The Church of What's Happening Now podcast.

@Navywalrus09 5 жыл бұрын

Holy shit! Could you fucking imagine him and Joey Diaz having a conversation!

@spacemama 4 жыл бұрын

I wish an old photo of him from the 70's popped up. Great storyteller nonetheless.

@daves6503 5 жыл бұрын

She would take me to these parties where everyone's speaking different languages and talking about historical things......and then one of them would say "So Eddie, what do you do"? And I would say... I CAN PUT BREAD IN WATER! SEE THE BREAD GET BIGGA!? Fuck, that's funny.

@Kerorofan1990 5 жыл бұрын

Yo, that's Eddie from Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell!

@koshar44 5 жыл бұрын

Do it the Gary way!!

@raymondmcmale5532 5 жыл бұрын

Mate thats what I was thinking when I saw this video!

@kellywestall255 4 жыл бұрын

I said the same shit

@xanaxodgrindcorelover9191 3 жыл бұрын

4:21 EXACTLY

@jeffreymartinez8028 5 жыл бұрын

He's really good.

@ManuelGonzalez-ut7tq 5 жыл бұрын

Jeffrey martinez eddie pepitone is one of those comics you’ll never really hear about, unfortunately. He’s really good, but I guess he doesn’t get or seek the exposure he deserves.

@gordonfreeman-g5w 3 жыл бұрын

Eddie Pepitone is underrated legendary comic man...

@user-li5jc9uo6k 5 жыл бұрын

"What's the matter you fuck?!" I am dead LMFAO

@captaintattertot7547 5 жыл бұрын

When he yells he looks like a 50 year old smeagle

@politerudeboi6898 5 жыл бұрын

the revolution and the empire are constant

@soulflower891 5 жыл бұрын

This was hilarious😂

@Smoochie71804 6 күн бұрын

“…Stanley Kowalski with a little bit of knowledge of how the workers were getting screwed” deserves a presidency

@user-zg1hl3np4d 5 жыл бұрын

Game on, comrades

@v.a.2584 5 жыл бұрын

abolish the value-form and dick down your teachers???

@Lynxthejonin 5 жыл бұрын

yo, another ancom? fuckin howdy

@steakcrust558 5 жыл бұрын

Start 1:05 they delete this every time dont they??

@salvadorslim3234 Жыл бұрын

One of my favorite comedians

@dizzlex2 2 жыл бұрын

Only watched this because of YPFIGTH, and now my eyes are opened to a whole new world!

@felidiusz 5 жыл бұрын

I admire his attempt to say "Lech Wałęsa", but he failed miserably....

@povkilla 5 жыл бұрын

There's always someone who does some weird flex shit and you sir win that prize in this comment section. Just because you think you know how to say Lech Walesa's name more correctly doesn't make you better, or smarter for that reason. Again, that's some extra weird, weird flex.

@felidiusz 5 жыл бұрын

@@povkilla Nah, I don`t feel better or smarter. And it`s actually impressive that he knows about that uprising in polish shipyard. But try to imagine a foreigner horribly mispronouncing names like: Barack Obama, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Dalai Lama or Nelson Mandela. It feels a little cringy. And it`s not one of those really hard polish names like "Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz", its easy actually.

@Hatingmeisconforming 5 жыл бұрын

I love Eddie!!

@henryng3583 5 жыл бұрын

The non cuban coco diaz

@messylife3793 5 жыл бұрын

Its hard to find raw talent in guy this old, its udually to honed for my taste. Good to see someone hold on to their youthful mind. Respect. But whyd they fire ari? Im drunk.

@mikebarnes7441 5 жыл бұрын

Because he was fucking annoying

@zittytiddy9190 2 жыл бұрын

I choked when he said “I PUT BREAD IN WATER. SEE THE BREAD GET BIGGER!?”

@carolyntalbot947 5 жыл бұрын

I had a huge crush on the professor of my Civil War Literature class. If he had invited me to his place to explain Realism I would have lost my mind.

@akilasmith6063 5 жыл бұрын

His outburts reminds me of Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein. Very funny.

@larrythebag 5 жыл бұрын

IT'S FRANKENSTEEN!

@akilasmith6063 5 жыл бұрын

@@larrythebag lol. Indeed it is.

@FinneySP 5 жыл бұрын

Akila Smith very astute holy shit

@akilasmith6063 5 жыл бұрын

@@FinneySP why, thank you sir.

@najtrows 2 жыл бұрын

Eddie has such a fucking wonderful way of making any story into the best story you ever heard. I would fucking love to see him write a Broadwayshow or something like that :D