Who the hell gave Grandma a phone-

As a Hungarian, we don't really have monsters, we have stuff like the "Kis gömböc" which is basically a pig's stomach filled with ground up pig organs, that became sentient and attempted to eat an entire village, only stopped by a shepeard's knife. I recommend using this one to curse people.

That fake Russian band name at 1:50 translates to "I poop in my pants" in case anyone is wondering.

The elephant thing is a reference to a "white elephant gift" which today is usually cheap silly Xmas gifts at office parties, but originally it was an actual white elephant and gifted to ppl you don't like, bc they are big and expensive and create a lot of problems. But you can't just refuse or give it away bc it was a gift, that's the idea at least ☺️

Lexi, that’s unnecessary to pack a French Horn. Pack a Recorder. It’s slimmer, more lightweight and you can put it in your suitcase so you don’t have to pay to check an instrument bag.

The elephant question is a simplified version of the white elephant problem. If you hated someone, you could gift them a white elephant. They were sacred, so you couldn't get rid of it or even use it for work like other elephants, but still had to care for it, so you had to act grateful for a giant money pit. Hence white elephant gift exchanges now.

4:20 Spider here. I've been in this situation before, but instead of becoming a bartender, I became a hotel receptionist.

Kids randomly threw up in grade school because we didn't know about food intolerances (barely even knew food allergies were a thing) back then.

Lexi, pack in a way that you're always ready to annoy. EMBRACE CHAOS.

Is it not normal to have an evil bullfrog under your bed? GUYS?!

17:48 That actually made me think of a specific day in the late 70s when I first recognized that smell . . . like, damp leaves and the scent of smoke from people’s fireplaces mixed with cold air. Edit: plus the smell of burning leaves.

i love lexi so much, as a transgender person myself, it makes me feel better we have more representation :) shes my favorite narrator and always makes me feel at peace

Just got to the point with the procrastination/ADHD advice. Thanks Lexi, I actually haven't heard that before. I'll have to try it sometime. I'm always happy to find new coping strategies.

Great video it’s only been out for 27 seconds

6:14 that exacact thing almost happend, but it was with amazon reviews such as "I loved this shovel, great for digging shallow graves in my back yard!" "this padlock is great for the shipping container where I keep my hostage" AND ALL OF IT WAS TRUE

The first one, seriously, who’s grandma thinks to text the person she thinks was the *dead body* found on a random road?

That sign about no drinks on the pool table... I was once a member of a private club that had a pool table upstairs. In the stairwell just before you went into the room there was a sign. " No Sex on Pool Table. There are Cameras. We Will Watch."

Lexi always puts a smile on my face. Next Skitty I catch I'm naming it after her

1:53 my boyfriend speaks Russian, lives and breathes Russian, and constantly sends me songs in Russian, despite being a kiwi. This meme is funnier to me than you can possibly imagine.

The editors did a good job this episode. Perfectly chosen GIFs and graphics.

Lexi - my parents, well mainly my mother, went through this thing where she tried all kinds of things for my ADHD, including "family therapy" and even put me in a psych ward at 9 years old for kids ages 8-18 that had all kinds of problems, before finally taking me completely OFF my medication at 10 years old and telling me to "deal with it" and to "learn the triggers" and "fight them off" on my own. My son has ADHD and I've made sure that he's got the tools needed to help him handle daily life, school, and the anxiety that he faces. I won't let him go through this on his own because I know what it's like to be punished for something you literally cannot help and be told that you aren't good enough because you're having an anxiety attack and the person who is supposed to be there for you is literally the last person in your corner and willing to help you. That will NOT be my child. Soo...yeah, I get it.

5:14, this is super relatable. I have ADHD (it might be autism) and I get things that are most commonly referred to as "special interests". A lot of the time, for me at least, these special interests can last years. I've been obssesed with a British horror fiction podcast series for almost two years. only two of my irl friends like it. The series is called The Magnus Archives. It has amazing queer representation! sorry for the rant about this podcast, it's just consumed my brain

Lexi always puts a smile on my face

My grandma would be the first one if she learned to text lol. She worries a lot and I feel bad

I’ve been watching EmKay since 2020 I think? And I love this channel. Y’all are so cool and funny. My fav narrators have got to be Jack and Lexi since they’re both so amazing (with Lexi being wholesome af and Jack doing reactions/effects which make the posts even funnier). Y’all truly are a great channel, keep up being so cool!

3:32 Well, I make sure the elephant is trained to live comfortably and not feel threatened near humans, especially small children. Then I charge admissions for children to play with the elephant while I supervise for safety.

Imagining Lexi as grandmother - Story time will be uhmaaaazing!!!!!

I felt kind of mad at school today, so thanks Emkay for the content that makes me feel good and Lexi for narrating this episode! I thank you!

3:25 tell the responsible authorities I have an elephant and they'll take it away because I don't think I'd be allowed to keep an elephant. So this way it has the best chance of getting the proper care it needs and I didn't give it away.

2:50 Then there's my mother, who meticulously plans out everything she needs to pack 3 months before the trip, then has nothing packed by the time the day comes.

0:33 this is a nightmare scenario for me, i shit bricks when i see frogs i hate having an irrational fear of frogs WHY DO PEOPLE LOVE FROGS SO MUCH?

09:25 You get your friend blind drunk, then make a curry. Add as much pure heat as you can, chilli, curry, hotsauce, you name it, your friend wont care they're too wasted. You also add a powerful laxative. Tomorrow, your friend will earn the achievement 'Volcano ass' and will have to deal with the fallout from their own pyroclastic flow.

Lexi is an amazing narrator!

When I was trying to go to Uni, I used to spend all day at a coffee shop. I told stories because I tended to find myself in strange adventures. So anyhoo, I was at the cafe and I heard a dude telling one of my stories but with himself as me. Very surreal.

6:47 Publisher: Ok... what else? Roald Dahl: Well I've got another book about a man who owns a giant candy factory.

The elephant question……I’d DONATE it. 😊

Your pronunciation of Roald Dahl was nearly bang on 😃😃😃

4:14 This is actually how some invasive species gets around, although most would hitch a ride in shipping containers

Babe wake up, Emkay just posted

11:17 Yo I should be doing my homework right now LOL

"Lidérc." The Lidérc is a supernatural creature that takes on different forms depending on its mood or the situation it is in. Sometimes it appears as a beautiful and seductive woman, while at other times it takes on the form of a frightening monster with glowing eyes and long teeth.

Ikea furniture is too expensive and has little character; going to the thrift store and purchasing a solid wood desk, a possible haunted wardrobe, and a series of novelty glasses for the cupboard is where it's at. Seriously, I've great quality, cheap, and minimally cursed items from thrift stores. The most haunted thing was probably the creepy doll that came in a bag with a few other dolls, including a MH doll that I wanted.

3:18 Here you go Lexi: Ördög, pretty much the devil. O-O

10:10 Hit a bit too hard to home lol learned yesterday that my uncle cheated on my aunt (my moms sis) after over 16 years for several month with a woman they both know. One time literally during her birthday party (he sneaked off and was weird about that y'know ppl noticed) and he is prissy that his parents are mad. His mom basically disowned him. And my aunt is still like "Maybe i didnt do enough?" And that's what makes me want to punch a wall. Like she tried to talk about the problems in their relationship prior and to work on them but he never responded and apparently he was all like "I can't change how I feel uwu," Worst thing is my baby cousin who is 6 is now afraid that her Papa won't visit her, because mine never visited. :( And I have to sit there and reasure her that her dad isnt an asshole like mine while I want to bash his head in. As far as I am concerned he is not my family anymore, even if they might get back together. I do not understand how people can tolarate cheating. He dosnt even understand why I am hurt to like he wasnt part of this family for almost 20 years. (Sorry for the rant I'm just so irrationally angry, like if you arent happy in your relationship and dont want to talk about it/work on it than break up. He only admitted the affair because a cousin (my mom's other sisters kid.) saw him!

Lexi: *reads absurd phobic post* Lexi 2 Seconds Later: “It’s true. I am the gender.” Me: “ALL HAIL THE GENDER GODESS!!!”

3:00 This is where the "White Elephant" idea came from, i believe if the king wanted to annoy somebody they gave them a white elephant, if the person gave it away/sold it, they would have ZERO room to talk for denying the gift from a king, however if they kept it, they would be in financial ruin because of how much money it took to maintain the thing. Top 10 things you didnt know existed.

That "phase" of grade school is how some of us found out about lactose intolerance. Me, being (unknowingly) lactose intolerant and (unknowingly) severely _anxious,_ frequently just moved the de-facto barf bucket (trash can) next to my desk and prayed it wouldn't be my day to puke. BTW, this "phase" only really ended after going lactose-free and Low FODMAP -- my body apparently just does not like _anything_ that isn't meat or bread.

Lexi narrating is the best thing in KZfaq ❤

Perfect time Lexi. I've got a mock job interview tomorrow and about to go to bed. I'm so nervous (I know it's only a mock but I hate interviews in general lol) this is just what I needed

Seriously? That "Not allowed to read HP"-thing is so addly specific...i mean...my GF was in such a family. She wasn't allowed to read HP, see Sailor Moon, or weven watch Pokemon (WHERE DO THESE ANIMALS GO? IN A BALL???? WITCHCRAFT!!!) Amphasis on *was* and yes, i am not sure, if "they" like me, after i showed her basically EVERYTHING™!

3:50 Unless it's a german spider - then it will open a german bakery 🙂

I answered the elephant job application question on another video somewhere on this platform. I stand by my answer. Which basically boiled down to turning the gifted elephant into a business venture so that eventually it not only pays for itself, but becomes a new source of income for you.

0:45 Yeah I remember that. In 2nd grade there were probably at least 5 instances of a kid randomly throwing up

That "Glorious" squirrel meme is just so perfectly fitting for Lexi...

12:11. *adhd noises* I’m glad you were finally able to get something that works for you!

Gets beaten up, while said children scream: Its me pewdiepie

so " я какала в штаны " literally means " I pooped my pants @

2:06 holy SHIT I think my heart stopped this is literally me. (it's not a perfect one-to-one match, of course. The only differences are: I'm 26, she's in her 70s, she has a different name, and we *both* work in accounting. Aside from those tiny details holyshitthat'sme!!!) christ I've never felt so called out by an Emkay video seriously this is downright uncanny (especially after the last couple weeks I've had, with her making my life unnecessarily hellish)

5:03- that raccoon story made me lol.

4:48 “I’m not like other girls. I have………snake arms”

a foolish man would ignore the mundane actions of a Canine. but a wise man would ask: "what the dog doin?"

Everything here is weirdly accurate in ways that I wouldn't expect

5:26 “Believe me, I am *so* normal about this piece of media, like the *most normal* definitely normal and not obsessed at all, just so very normal”

You’ve heard of airplane clapper. Now get ready for: *Customer service applauder*

10:24 I am, in this exact point in time, ACTUALLY procrastinating by watching EmKay, and I AM in fact eating chips with an outward air of calm...

>reads a tumblr post that was screenshotted and posted to reddit >"I really gotta credit this subreddit's creativity"

Did you know that giving someone a white elephant is basically a shorthand for saying…. I will ruin you financially

0:35 - As an elementary school teacher, that is still very much a thing. Oddly, the chances of it happening increases the closer it gets to the end of the day, with the most happening in like the last 30 minutes of right before we leave

'"Airplane cra...clapper"... bahaha!

That raccoon trench coat story feels like a Lexi story and I’m all for it

3:33 I report and collect the bounty of the person that forcibly made me responsible for the elephant for abandonment, animal endangerment and smuggling of an endangered species.

"Why are math teachers never sick and english teachers always pregnant" I will say ive never had a pregnant english teach mostly because they were men. I have had 1 sick math teacher tho. And the 1 teacher i had that was pregnant was an art teacher instead

bold of you to assume the thing I'm actively procrastinating isn't also the the one thing that I really want to do and would make me happy to do and not doing it is making me miserable

20:40 That picture is HIDEOUS!!! Where are the bookcases full of book and the computer desk with a high-end gaming rig? Where are the Essentials of Life? 😄😁😆😅😂🤣

@14:34: Son of a.....why the hell am I a chicken?! Lexi, what kind of magic spell did you just cast?! 🤣

so apparently my obsession with TF2 has resulted in me flailing happily when I see a random image of the Spy

"If you need to do something, but wont, Violently do another thing"

This video reminded me of the graphic novel King City; that whole thing is a trip. One of the main characters is a cat named Earthling JJ Castworthy III, yes that is the cat's actual name, and the cat is a super genius that also gains powers as needed when he gets special injections, which actually happens in the comic, one of the least crazy things you encounter is a product called "Turtle Cola," which is a brand of soda that in-universe is stated to have over 300 flavors, one of the main characters literally ends up drinking a soda that is "divorce" flavored and says he doesn't like it because it is too bitter.

at 15:14 my heathers addicted brain instantly went “wE CAN SMILE AND CUDDLE WHIIILEEE THE FIRE ROAAAAAARS~” and i think the rest of the paragraph made me correct in thinking that

YOU DO NOT RECOGNIZE THE BODIES IN THE WATER.

That elephant question is a semi popular question when it comes to job applications, just have fun with it. Say that you would ride it to and from work.

Probably one day in the future, a friend of my nephew will ask: Why do you sleep with a fly swatter? My nephew: To keep the crabs from getting me in my sleep His friend: But why, and more importantly, how would crabs get you in your bed, in your sleep? My nephew: They won't... The flyswatter... Have you not been paying attention?

8:31 - Save the poop and bake the offender a shitpie.

Missed some, going 80 in a 35 because you're late for work, putting salsa on your taco while wearing a white button up for a presentation, and watching EmKay. Safe driving all 🙃

“The oscars will really miss your one view” I am jealous of how distant Lexi is from Hollywood drama

For the uncle choking on a spoon, DO CPR otherwise the surgery ain't gonna save him.

5:56 I feel attacked, alienated, singled out, and yet… mood.

Nah, they're all glaring at you because you killed Bob before THEY could... 😄😁😆😅😂🤣

Libreoffice won't print evil amulets, switch to FOSS

What I trust more than the Bible: Random friend on Facebook telling me they need my phone number because they don't remember their Facebook password. 🤣

Answer for 14:41 Math teacher calculating their health bills and future health care products. English teacher perfecting the language of love and finds a loophole where she gets paid to stay home and only worry about one kids future rather than about 30.

3:34 reminds me of the time when a Jumping Spider stuck itself to the windshield of my dad's car, and after a drive across town, we let the spider hop off into a nearby bush. It was cute.

7:53 Lord Farquaad would love this

19:12 the band you're looking for is will wood and the tapeworms /j

0:58 Same thing happened to me just I was eating a school grilled cheese and I threw up IN THE CAFETERIA

I know it was a joke, but in the Hitman film with Rupert Friend, Katia Van Dees, is actually “quatre-vingt-dix” because she’s Agent 90, female agent exists so be weary of women in red dresses, The Matrix also taught us that.

I always hear stuff about ikea but I’ve never actually seen one. I have been to four different states in decent sized cities and towns. That is like an IKEA’s natural habitat, or so I’ve heard.

At my school, the math teacher who never got sick was married to the English teacher who was always pregnant.

16:08 5th grade math teacher was out for 3 months for cancer treatment. Pregnant pre-calculus bonded with the 3 pregnant girls in that class over baby names and stuff.

Wait, what about the people who start packing two weeks in advance? That's my family. We have most things in the suitcase, plus a list of things to add at the last minute as we need them on a daily basis. But it still happens quite often "Where's such and such?" "Oh, I already packed it." and then sometimes we have to somewhat unpack again because we need stuff. But still, it saves forgetting stuff and makes the actual day a little less stressful.