Emotional Manipulators Do This | Lisa Romano
Рет қаралды 16,448
✅Register for my most popular groundbreaking transformational and psychologist-approved online healing program: www.lisaaromano.com/12wbcp
Emotional manipulators do this; they deny, attack, and reverse the victim-offender roles on their targets. The #1 Abuse Tactic Narcissists Use On Their Victims is tied up into one acronym known as DARVO. Darvo stands for deny, abuse, reverse victim-offender. It implies that no matter what the nature of the argument or conversation, anytime you confront a narcissist, they will rely on DARVO to gaslight you and cause you to doubt your perception of reality.
If you've ever confronted a narcissist, you undoubtedly discovered how quickly your perception, emotions, needs, wants, and beliefs are obliterated by their dismissive intolerance of any notion that goes against their version of reality. You, as a source of primary narcissistic supply, will be gaslit out of your perception.
In this KZfaq video about DARVO and narcissism, you will learn about this abusive tactic and what you can do to avoid becoming pulled into this crazymaking behavior.
🎬 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎𝐒:
▶️ kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ptacl8mZyNnKmWg.html
▶️ kzfaq.info/get/bejne/esqnltuU1pPLcY0.html
▶️ kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mpaVe7KomMmplXU.html
▶️ kzfaq.info/get/bejne/j5OVf8p0mrTZd2w.html
▶️ kzfaq.info/get/bejne/hbtyZct0m73Vpnk.html
Take the FREE Codependency Quiz
www.lisaaromano.com
Listen to One of My Books for Free
amazon.com/author/lisaaromano
✅ Join My Membership Program (Programs, Journaling Prompts, Live Group Calls, Private FB Community and more)
KZfaq Subscribers receive 50% Off
www.lisaaromano.com/breakthrough-warrior-membership
✅ apps.apple.com/us/app/loving-the-self-affirmations/id1507300982
👂 Podcast Breakdown to Breakthrough
apple.co/2lY6i81
🎯 Join my online Facebook Support Group
groups/adultchildrenofalcoholics/
Meditate With Me on Insight Timer
insighttimer.com/lisaromano
Email: coach@lisaaromano.com
▶️ 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒:-
emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, emotional manipulators, emotional manipulation signs, manipulator, emotional manipulators do this, manipulators, emotional manipulation examples, master manipulators, emotional manipulation in relationships, are you a manipulator, signs of a manipulator, emotional blackmail, emotional maniplator, signs of a master manipulator, emotional intelligence, what is emotional manipulation, signs of emotional manipulation, manipulation tactics, psychological manipulation, manipulative people, narcissistic abuse, mental health, emotional manipulation examples, examples of emotional manipulation, how to manipulate people, psychological manipulation, manipulative person, Lisa Romano, life coach
▶️ 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒:-
#emotionalmanipulation #emotionalabuse #emotionalmanipulators #emotionalmanipulationsigns #manipulator #emotionalmanipulatorsdothis #manipulators #emotionalmanipulationexamples #mastermanipulators #emotionalmanipulationinrelationships #areyouamanipulator #signsofamanipulator #emotionalblackmail #emotionalmanipulator #signsofamastermanipulator #emotionalintelligence #whatisemotionalmanipulation #signsofemotionalmanipulation #manipulationtactics #psychologicalmanipulation #manipulativepeople #narcissisticabuse #mentalhealth #emotionalmanipulationexamples #examplesofemotionalmanipulation #howtomanipulatepeople #psychologicalmanipulation #manipulativeperson #lisaromano #lifecoach
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨. 𝐌𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.
@gwengaffney6453 2 ай бұрын
Mental abuse is worse than physical abuse to me
@grizzleegurr7421 2 ай бұрын
Mental abuse is a slow incarceration. Physical abuse is a rapid attack!
@shirleyhunt8769 Ай бұрын
Yes definitely people will take abuse seriously if it is physical but mental and emotional can't be seen
@gabrielamartiniuc6322 Ай бұрын
Worse? No, It’s all WORSE. It’s all bad. I’ve experienced both. Don’t say it’s worse than physical abuse especially because physical abuse comes WITH mental and emotional 😮 abuse. Imagine being beat up AND emotionally abused.
@pinkrose4322 Ай бұрын
I agree!!
@glendacordova3479 Ай бұрын
I totally agree.
@alisonj9533 Ай бұрын
It is better to be alone than be easily manipulated and used. Do not be afraid to be alone.
@margaretcordova3268 2 ай бұрын
I sat here about 1/2 hour after listening to your video and cried thinking about what I been through. My heart ached so bad Lisa. Thank you for helping all of us. I remember I took Cosmetology and had to take the test twice. My step father said I was stupid and blah blah blah! My husband was and is just like my step father. I went back and aced it! I listen to you everyday because you encourage me so much Lisa. You are so awesome. I went shopping yesterday and was so happy! I plan on taking a trip to Mexico by myself to get some space.
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
You got this!!!!
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
I am so proud of you!
@7oclockmiracles88 Ай бұрын
You’re gaining momentum! Keep going sweet one❤😊
@cosmicshy637 2 ай бұрын
The circular conversations are also an exhausting form of gaslighting. It's an attempt on the narcs part to get you to give up & shut up. It reminds me of the zig zag an animal will do while trying to outrun a pursuit. An exhausting, avoidant gaslighting tactic to get the person who's confronting a wrong, to give up & not hold them accountable.
@caroleminke6116 2 ай бұрын
I won by going entirely gray rock & he finally admitted that he couldn’t trigger me anymore then he just disappeared one day… what a relief
@aruosdorcas1565 Ай бұрын
I was so upset about my then husband s zig zagging, I said to him " You are just not making sense". Oh he dint like that. Now I m divorced and sane
@angelinh.5774 9 күн бұрын
This.
@sandycattoor1420 2 ай бұрын
I wish there were actual therapist with this knowledge! It would be so helpful to so many individuals and families fighting this demonic evil energy.
@MsMoosieify 2 ай бұрын
I needed this SO much today. I am 60 and grew up in the Era of "don't speak until you are spoken to" and "children are to be seen and not heard". My Mom was a covert narcissist. After listening to you, Lisa, I realize my Mom was codependent and empathetic, as I am. My Mom was the one who did so much for her Mom. But it was never good enough. My Aunt was the favorite and the golden child. My sister definitely has narcissistic traits. I would do so much for her and my family thinking I could earn their love and respect. I would bend over backwards to please my family. My Mother in law and sister in law are also narcissistic and controlling. On both sides of my family, they manipulate, make me feel guilty, spread rumors and lies about me and my daughter, isolate us from family, church friends. I tried to tell my sister in law how I was offended by her daughter at Christmas, she shut me down, accused me of being unforgiving, bitter, resentful and selfish. My Father in law cussed me out. My husband actually backed me up when I got home and said they Shift blame, are in denial, don't listen, then attack. He too is codependent and empathetic. He does most of the work for his parents who are in their mid 80s. About 4 years ago, I put my foot down and told my in laws not to talk about my daughter, do not publicly embarras me or my daughter, to stay out of our private matters, and that they will never control me. There is drug addiction and even arrests on both sides of our families but these narcissistic women loudly spread lies, rumors, gossip about me and my daughter. My sister ghosted me years ago. It has hurt deeply but I know it was draining me and causing me too much distress. She constantly reminded me of my mistakes 40 something years ago, a small mistake like not knowing how to cook. My sister, sister in law, and mother in law are all false and are different at church and around people, then are hateful, condescending, manipulative, spread lies, mocking etc around me and my daughter. I agree. I refuse to live like this anymore!
@cathybutcher4826 Ай бұрын
I'm so sorry that you are surrounded by so many toxic people. It makes you feel insane. It sounds a lot like my ex's family system. My ex got into hard drugs and almost destroyed my son and myself, and instead of holding their brother accountable, they came after me for having the gaul to even say out loud that he was a drug addict. It's a seriously sick family when they are more worried about public perception than their grandson's mental and physical well-being. They thought that my even saying that he was a drug addict was worse than him BEING a drug addict. I look back and still don't know how I made it through even halfway sane.
@JuliesWorldCrochet 2 ай бұрын
This is my mother, she did so much damage before I really understood how she thinks. What's so frustrating is that most other people cannot accept that there are people like her in this world. That's really what took me so long to assert what I"d always experienced as true: the rest of my world insisted my reality could not be.
@sunnyadams5842 2 ай бұрын
That is A HUGE TRAP. Once I realized they didn't have to agree with me to move on and make my life better was a great day!!
@wisdom_may Ай бұрын
I experienced the same exact thing .. .. when people can't show enough empathy and can't spend a moment to search to see this is a real thing , . When they can't spend a moment to accept the truth . I don't have time for those people anymore ... the education we never had growing up but we have now in these wonderful teachers ..,its the true helper that finally got me to let go .. and going no contact
@sunnyadams5842 2 ай бұрын
The Narcissist's theme song, as you said years ago: IT WASN'T ME! 🎼🎵🎶 The utter lack of roads to repair is one of the most absolutely damaging aspects of dealing with The Narc. Nothing ever gets better. Love You, LISA❤
@caroleminke6116 2 ай бұрын
It’s truly circular hell like being a hamster on a wheel & hasn’t got an expiration date unless you get off or one of you dies
@chessqueen3079 Ай бұрын
As a Muslim, I can share that i was abused by my husband, and then blamed by the Imams and the community where everything is a women's fault
@user-sz3og5fy3p 9 күн бұрын
Yes but this does not have any thing to do with thé réel islam...... Thé réel islam Respect thé women and honnor it.....but thé sociéty os thé one who humiliate women in thé name of islam witch wrong..... because islam does nothing to do with humiliating thé women
@julieanderson7560 2 ай бұрын
You always save m for feeling alone. The endless explaning in these situations with a person with this behavior style is maddening. It requires such effort on my part to not fall into my pattern of not acknowledging how toxic this is
@sunnyadams5842 2 ай бұрын
Can you go no contact yet?
@HealingHands354 Ай бұрын
The narcissist accused me of narcissism when I no longer gave them what he wanted through resources and money. I was accused of stealing when all I did was give. I lossed a contract and was not able to fund their real estate project. I refuse to jeopardize my financial health to accommodate someone who does not want to take responsibility for their lives.
@nimo4335 2 ай бұрын
Still educating us!!❤❤❤
@bonzai2380 Ай бұрын
This explains why in my marriage no disagreement ever has a resolution or mutual agreement. I'm allows wrong. The term used on me 99% of the time is " what's wrong with you" as a way to shut you down the conversation.
@lynarcher8192 Ай бұрын
I grew up in this abusive family. Unfortunately, Im still going through it to some extent & I struggle daily with some of these issues you have highlighted.
@espiritu_ 2 ай бұрын
You have armed me with knowledge. Once I revealed that I had recorded conversations (one party consent state), and wouldn’t let them rewrite history, they flipped the script and called me the abuser! I also had screenshots, dates and times, and journal entries. These have helped me immensely in standing up for myself.
@alainsoltura 2 ай бұрын
What did your narcisist do different in future interactions as a result of you standing up for yourself?
@espiritu_ 2 ай бұрын
@@alainsoltura this was the most recent interaction with them. I was no contact for 5 months prior. After being called an abuser, I realized that this person won’t be held accountable or admit any partial fault. In the past, they denied and deflected, even told me that it wasn’t that big of a deal, didn’t respect repeated boundaries and even showed up to my house when I tried to enforce boundaries. Honestly in retrospect, they were employing DARVO then too. I was still on my learning journey and didn’t recognize what it was in the moment.
@espiritu_ 2 ай бұрын
@@alainsoltura but as far as what they did differently when I would stand up for myself, they would deny, place themselves as the victim and try to rewrite historical events. That’s why I started saving screenshots, journal entries, recording without telling them. they would try and wait for a certain amount of time to pass, then claim something different happened. Or create stories altogether.
@mariannebrown6652 Ай бұрын
I always feel like I’m always having to defend myself to other family members. I’m always wrong- always not good enough
@HFTLH 2 ай бұрын
Lisa, I can't express how grateful I am that I found you 10 years ago. You are amazing, such an inspiration. I'm so glad you had the strength to survive the pain of everything you went through, and the mental fortitude to heal and become who you are now. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart for everything you are doing, and have already done, to help others along this path - you are like a healing voice in the wilderness, beckoning lost souls toward the light.
@bogifabian1 Ай бұрын
❤
@francesbernard2445 2 ай бұрын
Lisa your explanation on why a narcissist is impossible to have a civil minded every day living disagreement with is empowering to those of us who are experiencing narcissistic abuse which almost everyone does at some time in their lives when at work or whatever.
@gcarr5355 Ай бұрын
I am now stuck caring for an elderly toxic parent after living with this kind of abuse my entire life. I fear I won't be able to endure. I deeply regret not leaving when I had the chance
@cocogomez2278 22 күн бұрын
I hope you put your needs first because you're worthy to love yourself
@disappearingremedy7400 2 ай бұрын
This resonates fully. This has also become common in the patient/ health care field. You must endure this and fight the manipulative people who hurt others in order to receive treatment. It shows how pathological it is when we as patients pay for insurance and still have to wade through the insidious quicksand. Thank you for your work. Love & light.
@sunnyadams5842 2 ай бұрын
I'm kinda caught in this negative loop with medicine and SSDI right now. It's SO MADDENING!!
@margaretcordova3268 2 ай бұрын
Story of my life! You help me so much…
@lovefaith6285 2 ай бұрын
This video hit me hard, tje family dynamic with DARVO, your experience as a child with the gift to your mother brought up painful memories of when I would try to give gifts to my mother. On rare occasions she would actually like the gift but most of the time she would criticize it/me and get angry. I stopped giving and doing things for her and I'm seen as hateful. I no longer care because I have accepted that I will always be "the bad guy" in her eyes. That's HER opinion. Thank you much Lisa for all you do.🙏🙏🙏✌💜
@coral05coral57 2 ай бұрын
Love you Lisa 🤗❤️😘Wish you be healthy and have a long happy life😇🙏🌞😘
@julies2814 2 ай бұрын
Wow. You just perfectly summarized and described my 44yr marriage to a narcissists and his narcissistic family. His mother was a real witch!' He was the parentified "golden child" as well as the youngest and only boy out of 4 children. Thank you so much for the enlightenment ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
@julies2814 2 ай бұрын
Ps. I'm 62 years old and this describes perfectly how women were a abused and treated with "consent" from the outsiders who always had to butt their noses in (flying monkeys, Triangulation) ✨️✨️✨️
@julies2814 2 ай бұрын
NPD are Soul Harvesters/Soul Murderers. Generational Familial Curses. That's my take on it...
@rebz-wt6bp 2 ай бұрын
Thank you. You are helping me so much ❤
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
You are so welcome
@zehavak5373 2 ай бұрын
Love this it seems like no matter how many years I am absorbing this information. There is still so so much to learn. Thank you for all that you do.
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
You are so welcome!
@matikramer9648 Ай бұрын
Dear Lisa Thank you I do belong to your generation I'm 64 years old and only now starting to delve in those matters I don't know if my mom is narcissistic, but for sure is not from healthy family. Cause her father, least loved by me, ended life as a drunkard. And all that I heard FROM HER about my grandpa was total nastiness (she made me into parentified child in my teens). Most disgusting part of him I heard from her in my 50ties. Won't even tell that story hear. But in my 50ties I was in low contact with her (only seldom phone calls because of real living distance - different continents) Unfortunately, I got married to somebody similar in my case. About 10 +years ago my ex was diagnosed as full NPD by qualified professional. To say truth I'm tired living among not enough self conscious and not enough self aware people. Pitty, I'm starting so late. But finally I have hope at least for myself. Better later... I'm still thinking I was codependent, but not sure what I'm now.. Thank you for sharing pieces of your life with us Painful memories are still painful, but it is what makes us all more stronger and understanding for other people.
@jshelley4592 2 ай бұрын
My heart melted for you when you told your story about buying your mom the shoes. What a precious child.
@the.toxic.phoenix Ай бұрын
Truth! This is so validating. I'm just over 2 years free and honestly can't believe I put up with crap and lived like that for almost 16 years! But my childhood totally set me up for it
@dreambuilderitalia6200 Ай бұрын
I always new since I was a little girl that my mother behavior was wrong but I didn't know why .
@everett8610 Ай бұрын
The idea narcissists pull off being normal to society and others is the real surprise
@user-td9rz5kz7j 18 күн бұрын
We have to look within to heal those places we can be hooked. Stay solid.
@mokyan7 Ай бұрын
I read your book, Lisa, am so sorry you had those painful, gut wrenching things happen. Pain, loss, longing, fear, wounds. I am thankful for how you now reach out to help and empower others to heal and grow, and educate about relationship problems and waking up, deciding, and changing your mind, body and spirit to welcome good things and repel the bad. God Bless you today. And every day. 🙏
@PaigeSquared 2 ай бұрын
Learning DARVO helped me SO MUCH in keeping a grip on my reality. 😊❤
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
I'm so glad!
@msdemeanour Ай бұрын
My mother told me if I left my partner, no other man would ever love me again. Wonder why she was such a nasty, toxic, bitter cow all my life?
@sarahgerman8593 Ай бұрын
That comment sounds like projection. So hurtful. Sorry you had to be around that .
@douglasmcgregor5511 Ай бұрын
This has just really helped me. Recently what's been happening is that girls I don't even know out in the street and on the bus and things have been saying really accusatory things like "so that we can get away from this guy" or "away from this guy". It's all unprovoked. I don't want anything to do with them. I can understand if they've been abused by men and stuff but they don't have to take it out on me. I have my own issues like bereavement to deal with. Also the only reason I go out to coffee shops and things is that it helps with bereavement and to get out of a big, empty and quiet house. I don't care if there's girls there or not. It seems like they constantly misunderstand me, unless I'm completely paranoid now. This has been going on for a while, and it's really got to me now. Thanks for listening.
@hiddenhand6973 Ай бұрын
Can you take someone out with you to observe from a distance and let you know if people are actually saying these things about you? I have a friend son, who insists people say negative things about him or stare at him when he goes for walks and I don’t want to be dismissive, but I’m not entirely sure this is true. I think he’s becoming paranoid. I really mean that in a loving way not in a derogatory way. There are some vitamin and mineral deficiencies that can lead to paranoia like this. I hope there’s someone you trust that will be able to help you with this by either confirming or denying the negative comments from people in public.
@douglasmcgregor5511 Ай бұрын
@@hiddenhand6973 Thanks for your reply. So I’ve been away on holiday for a week and I really think this is just a regional thing. That only happened once when I was away. Don’t know if you believe in psychics but I had a reading when I was on holiday that I really feel gave me some healing. Also I’ve been reading about empaths and a lot of the struggles are suddenly making sense. I have a bit of hope now.
@laurapalmer2126 Ай бұрын
Interesting that “D” stands for “Denial” in your version of DARVO. I’ve seen “Deflect” used in other cases but either way, still such an exhausting tactic that functions to break us down and make us feel small and useless. It’s insane how many parts of a crazymaking conversations you can point to as perfect piece-by-piece of this methodology. We will not be silent anymore.
@gwengaffney6453 2 ай бұрын
Is very confusing
@adelleatherton2498 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much Lisa , wow you are amazing and I’m so glad there is people in the world that sheds light to this such wicked and extremely painful and damaging behaviour. 100% right in everything you have said . You are a wonderful wonderful woman with a big heart ( thank you
@caroleminke6116 2 ай бұрын
I grew up with this because my narcissistic parents were both the only children of much older married mothers who didn’t want to have children 🤦♀️ it was hell on earth & then in my last relationship of sorts he used DARVO but by then I was already watching videos & was able to go gray rock on him 👩 finally after a ridiculous example of his denial I simply said, as if to a small child: It’s OK but just fix it… I heard him muttering in the kitchen, It’s not OK, as if he was insulted by my calling him on the lies like a mom. My opinion is that this type of behavior began with the mommy issues around the lack of separation or individuation & narcissists are simply not adults so trying to have a meaningful discussion with them isn’t going to be possible. Take back control & do not let them roll over you! No arguments but just imperative statements with real consequences as if you’re truly interacting with a preadolescent
@angelamcfadden7960 2 ай бұрын
My own daughter saw the abuse that the narcissistic partner did to me and she still takes up for him. She up holds his smear campaign against me. She also helps him set to me up so that I can't move on and keeps tabs on me as well.
@dreambuilderitalia6200 Ай бұрын
She must have an issue with you , I would wander what the real problem is. I have the same issue with my son and I am becoming more and more aware of the why he acts the way he acts.When we are in a relation with an abuser we do not protect our children they are damaged and turn aga8nst us
@rhondacooper7957 Ай бұрын
This video is very true to the core.
@cathyadams2861 2 ай бұрын
So much here ❤
@PaulHAMCO Ай бұрын
This must be about the government...😂
@PaulHAMCO Ай бұрын
DARVO hmm.
@StylewithJenBlair Ай бұрын
The worst is mental and physical abuse .
@valster6254 Ай бұрын
A fantastic video, brimming with knowledge amd information. A reflection of the real life experience of dealing with a narc. DARVO is brutal and it takes a loooong time to even figure it out...decades, but the awareness almost miraculously clears the mind and starts the healing process, thinking straight for the first time, logical sensible, CLEAR
@jessicabyland2879 2 ай бұрын
💖 Thank you very much for this validation today, and for explaining so well something that for too long has gone unnamed for too many.
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
You are so welcome
@Conscious58 2 ай бұрын
it always felt ugly in the years I spent w/a covert/grandiose narc frenemy. My Soul knew & tried to let me know but I ignored the discomfort. I was a sitting duck bc (boundary-less/codependent) of my traumatized, neglectful invalidating narc Mom. Yes, acclimating to disrespect, etc. Grateful for Lisa's videos & personal experience. Namaste Lisa!
@merridycumpton6 2 ай бұрын
Ty Lisa..I'm listening ❤
@joanebel5207 2 ай бұрын
Thank you Lisa 🙏🏻
@araceligonzalez5459 Ай бұрын
Omg thanks so much for much it explains everything
@venustilgus8659 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much!! It make sense 💯
@user-qv9nw1dq2f Ай бұрын
Thank you Lisa ❤😊
@bibleblessingsministries2964 Ай бұрын
Interesting. Some people are trying to gain approval from someone who is never going to approve of them. It is like running a race with no finish line. Such people dispise those chasing them.
@karenholtzclaw3135 2 ай бұрын
this is enlightening...something I've felt seemingly forever...thank you
@user-if9lf7uc9w Ай бұрын
I’m going trough this now. My mother does this. I had no home not enough money when I walked away from home so I needed too come back and she treathened me to not let me in the house if I wasn’t acting how she wanted and projected a lot on my ways already. Then she only wanted to give me money that I needed for my id to find work if we talk more she gaslights more, spend more time making my mind crazy, and put her fantasy self on me and deny my reality. Till I was a little dol again and saw fake love again what was not there because the reality and abuse was too much. Then I called her out and she acted like I was the bad guy and says who are you? And just act like a victem talk really passive agressive fake friendly actually a lot of hate and mean words but you can also read it like she is sweet but she’s not and two ours before that she called me a lot of names till I started defend and explain and believe her act again and that I needed to explain. First her abuse was different but after me letting myself be* first they were really mean and horrible and now she act fake sweet since I’m more aware and I look like the bad guy. I don’t want to feel a role in me again I’m still trying to unlearn the past and now this second layer mess comes again. When I walked away I found out it’s really hard to find work when you don’t have a diploma so I think about first doing a study. But it’s all not easy and I don’t know if I have the mind space now. Because this is all happening. I lose myself in contact with her. The world outside of my home was also really traumatic and scary. I feel really shocked and like people don’t understand.
@alight4090 Ай бұрын
Thank you! I needed this message and you’re right about not having the tools/ words and the support online years back, and no outlet to express truth. God always is there and I know he has helped through messages like yours. Thank you and God bless you.
@dyannroby3358 Ай бұрын
Your education has been very helpful ❤
@user-ho3oe2qi6t 2 күн бұрын
its so hard to tell if my parents are narcs ... UGH
@muma6559 Ай бұрын
Thank you Lisa, thank you for your guts! All the guts you had and have, that's your light !
@sylviaanne2320 Ай бұрын
You are so insightful. Thank you. Do you think people who are manipulate avoidants are also narcissistic, or do you think an avoidant still cares about humanity on some level? "Narcissist" is such a buzzword, it is bothersome. Thank you so much for your videos.
@lt827 Ай бұрын
My older sister did DARVO on me when we were very young. She would start fights or hurt me and then deny she did anything wrong. She would then smirk as I got in trouble.
@FrankiePatron Ай бұрын
Thankyou for providing a place to to recover
@mokyan7 Ай бұрын
Thanks!
@JenniferWilliams-bb7hi Ай бұрын
My stepmother and father have done this to me
@user-yk3qm4zf5o Ай бұрын
You're best bet is just to walk away in pure silence. With dignity 🙏🏽✌🏽.
@benfir8920 Ай бұрын
I was just thinking you can tell a non-manipulative person they are manipulative and they will say to themselves, “Oh no I am manipulative, what can I do to get better?” And then you can tell a manipulative person they are manipulative and they will fight tooth and nail to attack you for saying that.
@Private_Pookie Ай бұрын
Its weird, you mentioned being told "you so sensitive " and " you make a big deal out of everything " and i can admit i have said this to my partner who i believe even without clinical evidence has NPD. But the truth of the matter is she is very sensitive which most narcs are and does make a big deal out of the smallest things which most narcs do. When i reflect back, i can honestly say that in large, i've never dismissed anything that was deemed as a big issue for her and most times i tried my best to help out with resolving any issues that arose. The thing is that a narc can and will make an issue out of everything and my belief is that some things arent always that serious and do not require as much energy as the narc will try to convince you it does. Its like if your not as bothered or as worried or as infuriated as the narc is , its perceived as if you dont care. This is a problem for me because the narc will then act as if you've wronged them for not caring as much as they do. Its a confusing dynamic and when i heard you mention what you said, it got me to thinking whether or not i am on the narc spectrum. I believe i am not but when you are always placed as the sole source of someones unhappiness, youu dont really kno what to think. I actually know im not, and yes i maybe flawed but i am almost 99.9 percent sure im not a narcissist. Wheeeew, awesome vid by the way....
@flyawaybutterflyhealingchannel Ай бұрын
Away from the Narc for 2 years. Still received an email this is allllll my fault. No.
@gwengaffney6453 2 ай бұрын
Is she wrong I still agree when I know she's wrong I just don't want to argue
@NarcissistFreealmost 2 ай бұрын
I'm pretty sure we married the same guy (different face).
@mokyan7 Ай бұрын
What is good way to teach your child about this, to notice and protect them, whilst being cautious not to alert or anger the other ex spouse who does this?
@muma6559 Ай бұрын
"until she got dementia" she wasn't nice to me. Did she become different in dementia ? How so ? I have a similar story
@gwengaffney6453 2 ай бұрын
I'm a people pleaser and I don't like it I just don't like conflict an argument it makes me angry and I get physical bananas mental abuse
@chrisrendino1529 22 күн бұрын
I had the exactly same conversation with the my mom. I was 24 and was ready to kill myself. She told. “You wanted this. And fought for it. Go home and don’t come to me for help if you leave him”.
@critter_paws 2 ай бұрын
Anyone in this patterning sent to ydc's(youth detention centers) in childhood? I'm working all of this out and I'm trying to find someone talking about/relating to that specific piece. Maybe for validation, I'm not even sure. Maybe I can put some stuff out about it in the future.
@user-yk3qm4zf5o Ай бұрын
Look I'm going to tell you one thing. Take it however you want. It's all, It's all, but an illusion. I not realty. (real) That's exactly my point of view 🧘🏻♀️.
@paper-chasepublications9433 Ай бұрын
🎯
@user-os3et7wy6j Ай бұрын
Please help me, how can I attract my lover?
@francinemarcelin3429 2 ай бұрын
Is it possible for two narcissists to be in a relationship with each other?
@grizzleegurr7421 2 ай бұрын
Out of curiosity, is DARVO a learned tactic? I mean, do we inherit the ability from our parent)s(/caregiver at an infant stage, or is it manifested gradually, then used once the perpetrator feels they have it 'down pat' ?
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
I believe it’s a subconscious pattern of manipulation
@margaretcordova3268 17 күн бұрын
Omg Lisa my mom was the same way! Now my husband is the same way…my mom always called me selfish and I could never understand because I would spend my checks getting her stuff for the house! I was only 15! My husband calls me selfish because he’s always up some woman’s ass! Omg
@ritaceron7329 2 ай бұрын
Thank u 🙏 ❤❤❤❤❤love ❤ is everything ❤️🩹📝
@fitlife1205 2 ай бұрын
59?? Wow she looks 39… aging well
@aLightShines Ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤❤️
@justinwhouarehappyhealthyb8 Ай бұрын
Im brand new here i have been deeply in love with a woman that i married in 2003 and she wanted to play a couple years later destroying our little family she then played acted out like she was 15 yrs old i was so shattered when she left i tried to commit suicide and was found the next morning and taken to the hospital, I raised our son and she is beautiful so she was getting and continues to get mens attention and she took advantage of that within months after she left then her and the guy has 4 kids and each time the babies were born she came to me and laid each child in my arms knowing that i would love the babies and she kept doing it then her and I had kept an active affair for the following 10 years then she destroyed that family she had and then bounced around from guy to guy and then found a guy on facebook and ended up getting pregnant right away with that guy and he tried to leave her and she came unglued and she really didnt know him that well and it was like she couldnt believe someone would leave her now here we are 18 years after she left me and her and i have always stayed close but shes at it again destroying her relationship actually married the guy had two children and shes destroying this family for a guy out of state that he is only her type because he is a 40 yr old that lives with his parents and she can manipulate him and control him she knows i have stuck by her after all the heart ache and so has the guy she had the 4 kids with and her current husband knows shes cheating and he is GETTING angry but hes still with her when she flips out she says things in front of everyone things that no one should know and she attacks by saying things that she knows will hurt any and all of us ...I NEED HELP I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HER AND HAVE BEEN FOR 26 YEARS AND I JUST CANT WATCH HER DO THIS YET AGAIN I am afraid someone is going to hurt her or worse and she tells me every single day that she loves me and i waited till last month when i told her i was going to move away from her she lost it and was a wreck she cried for days and finally after 18 years told me she should have never left me ... i ended up staying and sure enough the next day she flew out to see that guy out of state so her husband is pissed her other ex is a yes man and does whatever she wants right or wrong i am simply head over heel's for her when i know shes lying and i too am still married to her and i cant just leave because i love the children and they love me so much and looking back i can see that by laying each child in my arms to keep me around here i am 26 years in and i vowed to her dying mother i would protect and take care of her forever and then her mother died and im stuck with the vow of my marriage to her and the vow i promised her dying mother i love the children like they are my own SO WHAT DO I DO its easy to say get out and away from her but thats not easily done .. I know the new guy out of state isnt sustainable either so HELP ME I AM IN COUNCELING TO KEEP ME FROM SUICIDE
@kimberlysweidy2670 2 ай бұрын
Dr. Freyd's name is pronounced "fried," as in "fried eggs." (This is according to Dr. Freyd herself.)
@lisaaromano1 2 ай бұрын
Thank you
@kimberlysweidy2670 2 ай бұрын
@@lisaaromano1 You're welcome.
@mac-ju5ot Ай бұрын
Shes a neigbhor who efysed tojust give me ny privacy. Its all i can do to walk to my car with my head held up high ..git no fruends left. They so judged me ....they als said negative..amd im like kets clarfued whats she sayong
@user-fs6ou3fk9p Ай бұрын
You're discribing my mothers second husband. Wow.
@JeffBoswell80 Ай бұрын
She is great but this video she is talking to fast.
@cocogomez2278 22 күн бұрын
In the upper right corner you can change the playback speed to 75% to slow it down
@shakalatri2112 2 ай бұрын
This is so clear and concise 👌🏼 🤌🏼
@monie227 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this advice!!! Wow ❤❤❤😮😮😮I have a situation with my sister. ☹️❤️🩹💔
@dyannroby3358 Ай бұрын
Your education has been very helpful ❤