Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Jonice Webb

Рет қаралды 12,680

Күн бұрын

For more guidance on raising your Emotional Intelligence, sign up for my FREE CEN Breakthrough Series: bit.ly/cenchallenge4
To find out if you have CEN, take the free Emotional Neglect Test: bit.ly/entest
To learn how to take the steps to recover your feelings and use them see my bestselling book, Running on Empty, for just $10: bit.ly/runningonemptybook
Find out more about Emotional Neglect at: www.emotionalneglect.com.
In this video, “Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence,” I’ll talk about why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others. I’ll explain why those who grew up with Emotional Neglect tend to have challenges with their emotional intelligence as adults.
Emotional intelligence has been shown by research to be an important building block for job success, healthy relationships, and life satisfaction. In this video, I’ll talk about the 5 ways Emotional Neglect can affect your Emotional Intelligence.
CEN Breakthrough Video Series:
1. Emotional Neglect: How to Recognize it, Why it’s Invisible, And How it Affects You | Dr. Jonice Webb:
• Emotional Neglect: How...
2. Emotional Neglect: 4 Subtle but Painful Things You May Have Missed Growing Up | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: 4 S...
3. Emotional Neglect: How it Can Make it Hard to Recognize Your Emotions | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: How...
4. Emotional Neglect: 5 Ways it can Affect Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: 5 W...
5. Emotional Neglect: How to Connect with Yourself and Find Your Voice | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: How...
6. Emotional Neglect: What Most Therapists Don’t Know and How to Find One Who Does | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Wha...
7. Emotional Neglect: Use These 10 Affirmations to Reparent Yourself | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Use...
8. Emotional Neglect: Lack of Self-Discipline? It might be Self Neglect Instead | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Lac...
9. Emotional Neglect: How it Impacts Your Love Relationships | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: How...
10. Emotional Neglect: Jumpstart Your Healing by Doing These 3 Things | Dr. Jonice Webb
• Emotional Neglect: Jum...
00:00 Introduction
02:44 Skill 1: Recognizing Feelings
03:35 Skill 2: Others' Feelings
05:50 Skill 3: Feeling Management
08:46 Skill 4: Emotional Expression
10:24 Skill 5: Acting on Feelings

Пікірлер: 59

@user-rg4pj7dm3y Жыл бұрын

I feel like I struggle with this mostly just with myself. Like, I’ve always focused on others and tried being there for them as much as possible with things they may have been going through. I don’t have a good emotional awareness for myself and never learned how to identify and then express my feelings/wants/needs, which I think is why I always just focused on other people.

@ablanccanvas 3 ай бұрын

Totally makes sense doesn’t it? 🤔

@1unsung971 2 ай бұрын

Same here

@cfjohnson7369 11 ай бұрын

When, as an adult, someone was angry, or disappointed, or sad, I never knew how to react. Now maybe (at this late time!) I can learn some better skills.

@Grace_HisAmazingGrace Жыл бұрын

This is a great next step in healing from childhood CEN. I have generally hesitated to communicate my feelings because It's been easier to just ignore them than speak up and lose the peace, but I realize that this is not a good habit and does not get my needs met. Thank you for this lesson.

@DrJoniceWebbphd Жыл бұрын

That's exactly right. Many of your feelings are meant to be shared, not hidden away.

@JJJettplane Жыл бұрын

Managing my emotions is a good step for me to focus on. I feel like I've always been very aware of my emotions and have had the ability to articulate them, but dumping them on others irresponsibly has been a pattern for me over the years. Like blaming my marriage for a feeling of emptiness. My spouse has underdeveloped emotional intelligence due to ASD and it has left me feeling very lonely in a 25 year marriage. I'm learning now, the importance of taking care of my own emotions, nurturing myself, and seeing my own value because the other person in this partnership is not able to.

@penyarol83 11 ай бұрын

ASD... May also be a result of childhood neglect... emotional and/or physical (skin contact, touch, etc.)

@lesleyvivien2876 6 ай бұрын

When I was small, six or seven, I read a story about a rich child who overheard poor parents talking about their newest baby. "Another mouth to feed." The rich child decided to help the poor family, by leaving their gate open, so that a child or two could escape and be killed in traffic. It worked! I thought it was a very sensible idea, and couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. A dozen years later, I heard about a man with a large family, who lost four of them in an accident. They'd been cycling along a country road, and a car had come round a bed, and mowed them down. I just thought that was bad luck. A couple of lifetimes later, I am appalled by my thought processes, but I think that demonstrates that it is perfectly possible to change, for the better.

@angelagholson4988 Жыл бұрын

Dr Jonice Web thank you freeing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the key to me being total comfortable in my own skin. I'm so emotional right now, to hear you explain what I've live with all my life . I've walk away from relationships because of the unspoken.... but some how I see it feel it but battle with it. I've taking steps to dance with her a lot more these days and my life has become so much more calmer I will rejoice in my EQ. I WISH YOU ALL THE LOVE LIFE HAS TOO GIVE.

@DrJoniceWebbphd Жыл бұрын

Nice work. And I wish you the same back!

@ginnywalker184 Жыл бұрын

I think I learned at a young age to use some of these same tips/suggestions you are offering. I was "old" at a very young age and had a huge amount of responsibility for a child. I learned that even though my feelings were hurt and burned to a crisp to not react but to step back and think about things before I acted on my feelings. I also learned that if I felt I was having a bad day, or if I was feeling grumpy, it helped dispel that bad day or grumpy feelings just by telling someone "I feel grumpy today" or "I'm not having a very good day." I couldn't talk about my feelings to my mother because she didn't care, but I did learn to talk to my kitty and that seemed to help a lot. I'm a very optimistic person by nature and I think that has also helped me work through any hurt feelings. I also learned to separate myself for a time from people who were constantly unkind and hurtful then try again to see if things would mend; sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but with family members you keep trying because you love them even though they are people you don't like. I am very grateful to you for putting words to how I've felt for over 70 years. Thank you!

@DrJoniceWebbphd Жыл бұрын

I love that you learned emotional sharing by talking with your kitten. That is a sign of a very resilient child.

@ablanccanvas 3 ай бұрын

You sound like an ‘old soul’ to be able to adapt in your situation at such a young age. 😌 ♥️✨🇨🇦

@ginnywalker184 3 ай бұрын

@@ablanccanvas Thank you. I've been told many times that I am an "old soul" and I probably am. I was a very responsible child and was caring for my siblings at the ripe "old" age of 8 years old, and babysitting for other kids when I was 9.

@SparkleKat 6 ай бұрын

I walked home from school to an empty house, no one was there to recognize any feelings that I may have had. By the time my mom and dad were home it was too chaotic as it was the witching hour of making dinner getting kids fed and bathed. I was the youngest of four. Definitely slipped. through the crack.

@LynnsYouTube 11 ай бұрын

I'd love to see more videos on emotional neglect and growing in overcoming it and developing emotional intelligence.

@MichNative01 Жыл бұрын

You are a treasure!! Thank you, we have more homework!! My husband and I are doing this together, I so appreciate your videos!!

@ablanccanvas 3 ай бұрын

I am binge watching the 10 CEN videos + am getting so much out of them! I am starting to feel secretly empowered! 🦸🏻‍♀️ Yay! Thank you Dr. Webb! 😌♥️✨👍🏽🇨🇦

@godzillamanstreb524 10 ай бұрын

Thank you….I’ve never had any information on this & I grew up around narcissists…. I couldn’t express myself…if I did, I encountered anger or dismissiveness

@laurasquissato6640 7 ай бұрын

What happens when you put your feelings into words and the person you're talking responds with something along the lines of "suck it up - don't be a baby" or "I don't care, how you feel doesn't matter to me" or "whatever" or "you're overly-sensitive". When I receive a response like that, it's devastating :-( and makes me wish I had kept my feelings to myself.

@richardherron6768 10 ай бұрын

I've read both of your books, and the book Emotional Intelligence. I've learned a lot, but still have some problems. Putting things into practice is not easy, but it does start with the learning. Thanks for all you have done in this field. So many people I know don't even know of you or the field. Part of my mission in life is to help teach people about emotions being a good thing and about CEN. I've been thinking about writing a musical called "Bent not Broken" based on a song by Pink. Multiple songs and ideas at this point - not sure if it will happen - but it could be a great project. There are lots of movies\musicals about people with psych problems or difficulties, so in some ways it may not be a lot different. But I plan to donate 50% of profits to you or a CEN organization if there is one at that time.

@Noneatall6678 10 ай бұрын

what a great idea! A musical would be an awesome way to inform more people about CEN!

@MrBrady95 6 ай бұрын

I love what you say in the example about what builds bonds in relationships and offering the insight of the co-workers in the hall having an angry discussion. The ability to get involved and help manage the discussion is what can potentially build relationship bonds. In my opinion, the trick is to not take a side in the argument, recognizing there are two points of view that are equally valid, no matter if you agree with one person more than the other. Perhaps revealing your own opinion and bias at some point with your coworkers would be a good idea, but knowing a good time to do that is essential. This idea of working with emotions is so important right now, especially at at time when there are so many people feeling isolation and polarization. Many people don't understand how to relate to themselves or others and I witness that becoming more apparent in society as a whole. Glad to say I have been on the road to learning that life skill. Thanks for your work and for doing this great video series.

@dianabowen8774 7 ай бұрын

I want I need I feel .brilliant !! It really works in connecting with the inner dialog I keep brushing away

@rustyshimstock8653 Ай бұрын

Thank you very much for taking the time to share your wisdom. This is very helpful.

@specygirl85 4 ай бұрын

I can understand how others feel and I can support them but I can't find my own feelings and can't speak and don't get support but now I understand my feelings also matters. Thanks for video it will help me to learn emotions and express better.

@slporiolesfan Жыл бұрын

Really have benefitted from the book and the videos from Dr Webb. Appreciate her insights - they really do give me understanding and hope!

@gaylepinderhughes7166 Жыл бұрын

Thank you some much for sharing your wisdom in these videos.❤

@GratefulDeb270 10 ай бұрын

Your books are SO helpful! Ty! ❤

@yumnom69420 Жыл бұрын

Thank you!! I'm trying to journal these kind of things and this will be so helpful 💕

@petriebezuidenhout2953 9 ай бұрын

Thank you so much. This help me realise why I struggle to cope in relationships and why I couldt understand why family and loved ones are who they are. Know I realise where I am emotionally and to recognize other peoples emotional intelligence. So helpful to hear this info!

@katherine_art05 9 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@stevethomas9320 10 ай бұрын

First off Doctor Jonice I'd like to say thank you for sheading light to an area in my life no one in 40 years had the decency to speak up about. Secondly you can see emotion if you learn how to see people's auras just an FYI. Finally, how I feel. Well, the pandora's box of emotion is how I feel about it. As I'm happy and excited to overcome I feel robbed, and it feels heavy like my heart space has imploded. It feels tight and heavy, like in a vice.

@lisasconsciousrecovery 11 ай бұрын

I am still struggling to identify my emotions 😢

@DrJoniceWebbphd Жыл бұрын

@aiminbara7538 6 ай бұрын

This is my goal for 2024❤

@sunshine2049 11 ай бұрын

I want you to be my therapist!

@marieteal9057 6 ай бұрын

Ditto ❤

@1unsung971 2 ай бұрын

How to identify emotions is like trying to nail custard to the side of a moving bus. Rage, guilt and sadness are constants. The rest are a mystery. I have tried over many years and I am still clueless. CBT failed for this very reason. It seems inevitable that my 15 year old son is losing out because of this incompetence. My parents excelled at being "unavailable." At 65 it's as hard as ever to name emotions, or even know what emotion is happening to me. I am emotionally colour blind, utterly and seemingly irrevocably. What to do?

@LittleMezzoBird Жыл бұрын

Heh. My mom says that when I get angry, I seem to handle it by leaving the situation without saying anything. Not the best, but that's the only way I know how to get my emotions to settle down so I can think clearly. Is there a certain order in which EQ skills tend to develop? I feel like I at least partially have some of these, but not as much some of the others.

@JJJettplane Жыл бұрын

I think there's a lot of intelligence in what you're doing as far as not responding right away and going and thinking about it first. What do you do after the emotions calm down? Do you honor them or push them down and try and move on without any real conclusion? That's something I would be asking myself if I walked away from feeling angry. How has it settled in me afterwards. Did I honor my feelings, or did I push them down and feel guilty with how I handled them?

@LittleMezzoBird Жыл бұрын

@@JJJettplane Usually what I do to start is ask myself if it's reasonable for me to be feeling angry: did someone actually do something wrong? Or did they simply do something I find irritating? Was I in a previous bad mood that may have impacted my response and made me get angry about something that really isn't worth it? More often than not, I don't address my feelings afterward. I'm not used to addressing my emotions with my family, and I particularly worry that my dad wouldn't take it well if he was the person that I needed to speak to. I don't address things with my brother because he's got issues of his own (starting with the fact that he is also emotionally neglected, among other things), and I don't want to add more stress into his life - especially since, more often than not, the things that make me angry with him are usually habits that rub me the wrong way. I'm not sure how reasonable it is to expect him to change his habits to suit me. I just don't know how to address things with my mom, period. Usually I just step out of the situation (as much as I can; sometimes I can't leave the space right away), analyze how I'm feeling, remind myself that it's okay to be angry and that I don't have to wave a magic wand and feel better right away, and then just give myself time to calm down. I'm guessing I never really had the courage to address my emotions when I was younger because my dad has a fairly quick temper and we never knew how he would react if we brought up something serious, especially if it involved criticizing him in some way. So now I just don't bring things up with him, and I guess that got generalized to my mom as well.

@JJJettplane Жыл бұрын

@@LittleMezzoBird Interesting and thank you for sharing that. I find for me there's a fine line between justified anger, and reactionary anger and which one to validate. Eventually I had to cut contact with my parents almost completely off to protect myself. I just discovered this channel and so glad I did! Hugs to you across the miles....

@Sereneis 9 ай бұрын

I don't feel like it's my responsibility to intervene when somebody is getting angry or anxious! This sounds like excessive responsibility, which I was so often made to carry during my emotionally neglectful childhood. I had to soothe my brother and please my mother. No, i don't feel like it's my job to sothe others.

@rebekahfarris4993 Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤

@mammybelle7302 10 ай бұрын

Hi, doing this exercise is bringing my childhood back up. Is this normal?

@cherylruhr6001 11 ай бұрын

I think that i dont have trouble sharing positive emotions like love or admiration or empathy but i do struggle to share anger or disappointment or shame with my loved ones

@user-ed7ot7gu5m 8 ай бұрын

hello Dr, are you teaching me a lot about myself thank you, thank you thank you. Anyway, my problem is that I grew up in a emotional neglected household. And now at the age of 57 I am living next-door to my parents. My mother has had Alzheimer's for the last 12 years and I am there helping to care for her. Which means I don't have a life. And again I am dealing with the motions of my dad not valuing my feelings. So I've had a lot of anxiety in the last six months have been very difficult. like I said I live next-door to my parents, about four years ago I gave up my apartment and moved in with my sister. Wow my sister is an alcoholic she has ADD and she's toxic for me. I know now that neither my dad nor my sister will ever understand my way I'm thinking. I am also an HSP which has made living there. Very very hard and depressing. Anyway, thank you for your videos.

@frutigermetroboomin 6 ай бұрын

There is only audio on one side of the speakers/headphones in this video.

@JessicaG1971 11 ай бұрын

I don't feel this at all. 😅 I mean really, my EQ is quite high. I know what I'm feeling immediately- if I'm feeling anything. I'm extra good at reading others' emotions. But honestly, most of the time, I'm FEELING NOTHING. I'm blah most of the time. And the rest of the time, if it's a negative emotion, I'm just hiding it. So does that mean I'm not an adult with CEN?

@sanataj Жыл бұрын

no audio for me on this one.

@DrJoniceWebbphd Жыл бұрын

You can always try refreshing your browser, restarting your computer; or try using a different device or browser.

@davidcrawford9026 Жыл бұрын

this is servant work. This is only for serving others, unless you can prove how increasing so called EI is beneficial to myself, it's nothing but a chore that others put on women and servants

@penyarol83 11 ай бұрын

It’s beneficial to yourself because you’ll have a happier, more love-filled life, with better relationships, richer experiences, and more of a feeling of meaning, connection and purpose.

@davidcrawford9026 11 ай бұрын

@@penyarol83 false. If your family are a bunch of psychopaths they'll just take advantage of you

@carolebingham7262 9 ай бұрын

This could be very dangerous advice like stepping into an argument may feel right for you but you could get a smack on the nose or worse this is dangerously bad advice

@carolebingham7262 9 ай бұрын

I haven't got anyone at all to talk to and my best friend husband soulmate mentor confidant died he was all I had