Ep. 26 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Рет қаралды 1,131,917

4 жыл бұрын

In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer decides he's going to try to listen. Does he succeed? Tom Segura tells him about getting blacked out, playing football, and getting into stand-up. Bert shares stories about browning in his pants. Tom then calls Dr. Drew and asks about Bert's health. Tom and Bert wrap up by sharing what they learned about each other this episode. When was the last time YOU browned in your pants? Let us know in the comment section below!
yourmomshousepodcast.com/
www.merchmethod.com/tomsegura/
/ yourmomshousepodcast
/ yourmomshousepodcast

Пікірлер: 2 100

@Cyxz666 4 жыл бұрын

Bert is like 5 children in one body trying to speak through one mouth

@k.w.c.w2149 4 жыл бұрын

Cyxz 😂😂😂😂

@jessop- 4 жыл бұрын

Haha, that's the perfect analysis of Burt!

@rjw4149 4 жыл бұрын

OMG!😂 It's sad how on point that is.

@REAPER3fitty 4 жыл бұрын

That's so true. Well said

@marycallahan2334 4 жыл бұрын

His brain is pickled with Xanax. He’ll be boozing in no time. It’s a shame.

@mimigiggles4199 4 жыл бұрын

Tom could tell his life story to Bert every episode and Bert would never have heard the story before.

@REAPER3fitty 4 жыл бұрын

Holy shit dude you have TWO kids?!

@421less1 4 жыл бұрын

@Jonata when he got* it was *

@jamesdickey9427 4 жыл бұрын

Burnt is Tom’s best friend, but I have a feeling everyone in this thread knows much more about Tom’s life than Burnt Khrystler does.

@UseThisFire 4 жыл бұрын

Except Tom couldn't do that because every time Tom tries to tell his life story, Bert interrupts him and starts to tell his own

@Paul_DSZ 4 жыл бұрын

He’s Narcissistic

@Tom-fj3vm 4 жыл бұрын

Tom: I had three black friends in High School Bert: *Utter Amazement*

@newsrapper 4 жыл бұрын

Bert would never have been friends with Tom if he knew

@dankmheems290 4 жыл бұрын

Tom Segura is very cultured and bilingual.

@RomesThe59 4 жыл бұрын

At first I was like Bert grew up in Tampa, there is a huge Cuban population there and its a pretty multicultural city. But then I read that he went to private school and it all made sense.

@marsupial22 4 жыл бұрын

Tom: ...My dad still thinks about his fallen brothers everyday... Bert: HERE’S SOMETHING RELATED TO ME

@GraceJ91 4 жыл бұрын

Blehdi 😂😂😂

@wilhelmcox4787 4 жыл бұрын

DRINK

@421less1 4 жыл бұрын

@Rational Viking when you decided to sober up, is that when you put the rational in rational viking? Good luck brotha! Good on ya

@devansnider7793 4 жыл бұрын

The dude will interrupt with half a dozen stories about himself, then sit there stammering and stuttering for 30 seconds because he cant decide which one to tell. Hes so fucking self centered that the second the topic is NOT about him, he panics internally and starts scrambling for a way to make it so. Bert genuinely cannot handle people talking highly about others.

@resmarted 4 жыл бұрын

@@devansnider7793 "Quick bert, make up a story about yourself!"

@hunterlittle8793 4 жыл бұрын

There are episodes of JRE where Young Jamie gets more mic-time than Tom ever gets here.

@dudemaister96 4 жыл бұрын

Bert jokingly says " Let's make this episode about Tom, I'm here to listen! " and INSTANTLY interrupts Tom before he can even finish his sentence

@scottharvey2852 4 жыл бұрын

And that's why we love him/them

@scottharvey2852 4 жыл бұрын

The intros r fuckin class 😂😂😂😂

@melissagardner5936 4 жыл бұрын

dudemaister96 totally! I love him but he lets Bill Burr talk, he is pissing me off. Tommy can tell stories too

@scottp.548 4 жыл бұрын

And Tom's Dad met his mother while Awol from Vietnam.

@dudemaister96 4 жыл бұрын

@@scottharvey2852 nah that's a trait I hate in anyone I know and see

@Lt3652 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: “By the way, Drake is like a legit deal.” 🤣😅😂

@chuckn4851 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: "I'm gonna listen today" Also Bert: Not five seconds after that statement, interrupts Tom talking about his Vietnam vet father and halfassedly relates to him by talking about how he watched Platoon

@thefirebuilds 4 жыл бұрын

After interrupting FOUR TIMES "man i am the worst friend, I don't listen to ANYthing." "yeah."

@jimmyluffnin1297 4 жыл бұрын

Then he continues to interrupt for the rest of the interview, Bert loves Podcasting because people have to be nice and listen if camera was off I bet it's different no1 would put up with it

@Kbwintyy 4 жыл бұрын

thefirebuilds I love how he knows and still does it every time

@MichaelWutsch 4 жыл бұрын

Love this Tom focused episode where Bert talks about himself the whole time

@nathanyarymowich 4 жыл бұрын

That jug is filled with Kool-aid and nobody knew

@myyoutube4906 3 жыл бұрын

Nobody knew

@ACIDICcitric 3 жыл бұрын

The wind didn’t stand a chance

@thenightfoxx 4 жыл бұрын

I love that the guy who didn't know that Japenese and Chinese spoke a different language is trying to explain the societal and technological advances of the late 1800s, early 1900s🤦🏾‍♂️

@futbolplaya07 4 жыл бұрын

What's funny is he practically picked the perfect year to be born to see the most change lmao. He might be the dumbest person but I can't stop listening to his idiocy.

@thenightfoxx 4 жыл бұрын

@@futbolplaya07 100 percent! I'm a fan of Tom, but I guess we gotta put up with Bert's pig laugh.

@deviljon 4 жыл бұрын

Bert is the most lovable version of Florida Man. For better or worse.

@madisonyarletts6174 4 жыл бұрын

He is a comic I can almost guarantee it's all a character

@ashina5924 4 жыл бұрын

A lot of my coworkers didn't know that either. Most of them didn't lol even after explaining that korean to chinese is the same as french is to english and nope. Does not click in their heads.

@mattaholic 4 жыл бұрын

Bert paid me to comment that he is not actually as racist as it seems

@Cyxz666 4 жыл бұрын

Was this before or after the 5 minute white privilege speech?

@philipsutcliffe1610 4 жыл бұрын

But he is

@jeremiahbachmann3901 4 жыл бұрын

Not so fast...everyone knows that if you acknowledge someone's race, you are a racist.

@luisocadiz5990 4 жыл бұрын

Tom paid me to find you and pay you to say bert paid you to say this

@TheBlackMambaa248 4 жыл бұрын

I would believe it

@VIDEOdugo 4 жыл бұрын

Bert Kreischer and bottlenose dolphins actually have a lot in common, like how they both weigh over 330lbs.

@dntgvafuk89 4 жыл бұрын

The dolphins are definitely smarter though lol

@simonmorgan6934 4 жыл бұрын

Dolphins can't see their penis either.

@djleblanc1612 4 жыл бұрын

They both laugh the same - "EeeeeeEeEeEEe EEEEEEEEE eeeeeeEE"

@Doorsofprcptn 4 жыл бұрын

They also release their fecal matter wherever, whenever.

@brianjohnson9802 4 жыл бұрын

@@djleblanc1612 I can't believe nobody got to the squeaking laugh joke faster than this. Nice job though. It's accurate.

@ryanbush942 4 жыл бұрын

Just catching up on these...the idea of having Chris D'Elia message Bert's daughters did age well...

@jeremybasset9041 4 жыл бұрын

I'm in the exact same boat 😂

@lippy22 4 жыл бұрын

That one left a dent

@stanklizard7961 4 жыл бұрын

What's this in reference to?

@michaellapierre1407 4 жыл бұрын

Head ass dude I was like uhhhohhhj

@robertkennedy1293 4 жыл бұрын

I had the same thought. Wonder how that conversation went lmao

@neverlistentome 4 жыл бұрын

Tom seems confused how Bert could watch UFC in college. He forgets Bert was in college for a decade.

@SpacersChoice 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: "I'm here to listen" let's see how long that lasts 4 minutes

@dudemaister96 4 жыл бұрын

not even a minute he cut Tom off right away

@futbolplaya07 4 жыл бұрын

i know more about tom's life & i've never met him. its fucking nuts. i'm not even trying to remember this shit.

@stoicsmile_ 4 жыл бұрын

4 minutes? Did you even listen... it’s was less than 5 seconds 😂

@mikewizz29 4 жыл бұрын

Bert seems like the type of person who thinks Taiwan and Thailand are the same country

@redi275 4 жыл бұрын

Uhhh hundred percent.

@aroff595 4 жыл бұрын

He probably thinks they're both cities in China.

@Ryuzakku 4 жыл бұрын

@Zah Hall Well Thailand is a country, and Taiwan is real China.

@duinthadope420 4 жыл бұрын

@@Ryuzakku Don't Tell that to someone from Taiwan.

@Ryuzakku 4 жыл бұрын

@@duinthadope420 Taiwan knows they are the real China, and they try to have other countries back them on that. I think it'd be "Don't tell that to someone from mainland China"

@spacedawg0073 4 жыл бұрын

1:13:07 "We gotta have an end-of-quarantine party" Bert: "Ok, when do you wanna do it?" 😂😂😂

@flipndip5122 4 жыл бұрын

It's nice to see Tom give back to the community and make Bert think he's a normal person

@Vance12901 4 жыл бұрын

Berts tongue got stuck in his teeth and he couldn't see what he was saying.

@well_as_an_expert_id_say 4 жыл бұрын

Bark Mallwerg

@Vance12901 4 жыл бұрын

Wark ballferd

@MrStrike45 4 жыл бұрын

chaka souffle?

@teonyi 4 жыл бұрын

Muk Wogerg?

@DasE30Cuz 4 жыл бұрын

Dipocamatic community.

@evank7858 4 жыл бұрын

"I wouldn't mind a snort of the ol' uncut white privilege."

@HebdebaV 4 жыл бұрын

to be fair, most people probably wouldn't

@AmericanArgonaut 4 жыл бұрын

Evan K lmao!

@MrBobbyfresh 4 жыл бұрын

Did you guys see that Adam Sandler movie? Precious white privilege

@jasongillum5763 4 жыл бұрын

it thought it was cocaine

@carlross3033 4 жыл бұрын

@Roland Deschain dont forget educated

@beekae8664 4 жыл бұрын

Watching this podcast 2 months late "The girls are into Delia"........😬

@JLAShazam 4 жыл бұрын

Fucking same lol I was like well this podcast didn’t age well

@Civic-mw4jj 4 жыл бұрын

And they're literally like "we should have delia message the girls" 😬😬

@hutchklutch2594 4 жыл бұрын

Bert gets way more excited imaging things than any child I've ever seen

@LewisCooley 4 жыл бұрын

Bert's the kind of guy who thinks hes no longer an at risk individual because he jogged on a treadmill the night before while drinking wine.

@firecrow7973 4 жыл бұрын

walked not jogged

@jsil_ 4 жыл бұрын

sat not walked

@biglicker4473 4 жыл бұрын

looked at the treadmill and pictured himself jogging on it then felt that was enough

@FrankDickerstein 4 жыл бұрын

Fell asleep on the toilet and dreamt he thought about getting on the treadmill.

@421less1 4 жыл бұрын

His wife ran on the treadmill

@marcusprice5497 4 жыл бұрын

I hope there’s no “free styling” in this one 😂

@jairoperez7059 4 жыл бұрын

as long as the lyrics are provided, he will always "freestyle"

@ethanp9068 4 жыл бұрын

Marcus Price why man? That was really good

@SomethingGamecatAdjacent 4 жыл бұрын

"Ok, here's some freestyles I wrote." -Bert

@Meestaseesta 4 жыл бұрын

@@benwaldsax7659 un-BEAR-able I see what you did there.

@lucianna5286 4 жыл бұрын

aaa jajaja

@bharatrao7954 4 жыл бұрын

Hearing the background laughter is the best thing lmao 24:34, "they call me fetus right now" *background laughter*

@brettpingel1910 4 жыл бұрын

Glad it’s not just me... it’s great

@jeremewilson4690 3 жыл бұрын

Yep

@jamisons9971 4 жыл бұрын

23:00 thank god his girls weren’t too obsessed with D’elia

@whoyou8319 4 жыл бұрын

they laughed pretty hard when tom said they should have delia message berts girls.....they at least heard something

@danielpenrodii2389 4 жыл бұрын

“I like to run, I’m like a dolphin”. Bert really is an animal expert!

@Belznis 4 жыл бұрын

Well, that sounds like anxiety talk, I have had it too. Your brain works so fast, you want to tell all the ideas you have. First you say that you like to run a lot and then the next thought is about how dolphins are really agile and fast, and move a lot. You say out things and they end up sounding wrong or funny, which is good for a comedian.

@twistedreefer3669 4 жыл бұрын

@@Belznis Either his brain is working so fast...or his brain just isnt working xD

@MrErickeane 4 жыл бұрын

Brent is barely recognisable without his pointed hood and robes

@aaronlong8199 4 жыл бұрын

E K LOL, he also prefers his favorite nickname “the grand dragon”

@hawfcut2394 4 жыл бұрын

I feel im missing outon ajoke as I keep seeing people say stuff like this.

@anthonymiller934 4 жыл бұрын

@@hawfcut2394 Bert is "racist" is the joke

@HalimaAbshir 4 жыл бұрын

I went to his show a few months ago, he started his set by saying "no coloreds allowed"

@crispyclubbers 4 жыл бұрын

@@hawfcut2394 he's the fattest, most racist comic working today

@OutlierConcepts 3 жыл бұрын

Bert "Okay enough about you" Kreischer

@noahmartin2208 4 жыл бұрын

Bert thinks advancement is cellphones lol, he said there was no advancement during 1800, the middle of the industrial revolution

@timelineenjoyer 4 жыл бұрын

Noah Martin seriously where could we go after smart phones? Smart people?

@brody1261 4 жыл бұрын

I just want a compilation of the first 15 seconds of every two bears one cave podcast

@patrickbrown2 4 жыл бұрын

"He died at 41? That's like you dying tomorrow"... "It's my birthday tomorrow, I turn 41"..

@highland11091994 4 жыл бұрын

How is nobody else freaking out about this?? That is a crazy coincidence

@enriquegarcia3396 4 жыл бұрын

This is literally why I started looking through the comments. Why isn’t anyone making fun of this????

@justintrimble 4 жыл бұрын

This tennis story . . . I’m dead. I’ve listened to hours of Bert talking and the number of stories he has is unbelievable.

@brianjohnson9802 4 жыл бұрын

Yes.... yes it is unbelievable.

@kingofdawest14 4 жыл бұрын

“I’m not your parent, I’m your dad” thanks bert

@ricardodelorenzo3954 4 жыл бұрын

"I like to run, I'm like a dolphin" -Burnt Crystals

@DrankenDune 4 жыл бұрын

50:56

@Zackaria_sMax 4 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha thank you, came to the comments just for that quote.

@schlafin 4 жыл бұрын

"100 percent"

@MetalHeadSippel 4 жыл бұрын

this quote needs to be on a t shirt with Bert's face on it

@jakeholtman7507 4 жыл бұрын

Can't wait to hear Bert interrupt Tom 1,000 times

@FDEE30 4 жыл бұрын

Someone can be dying and Bert would assist by telling a story about himself

@scabbynack 4 жыл бұрын

I love how Bert thought herd immunity was thinning the herd because both idioms are about herds lol

@prozacjunkie112 4 жыл бұрын

Blueband should edit in a little Bear icon in the corner of the screen that keeps track of the Bert drinking game!

@danb4811 4 жыл бұрын

This.

@zackshrum9030 4 жыл бұрын

And it appears physically drunker throughout the podcast

@JRuff9 4 жыл бұрын

Nadav do it!

@JRuff9 4 жыл бұрын

It would be so much work lol

@iamorlandosanchez 4 жыл бұрын

agreed

@davidwitt3547 4 жыл бұрын

Bert is the most sheltered 40+ year old man I've ever seen.

@cybertree 4 жыл бұрын

He is a dolphin though, a beautiful flipping dolphin in its prime.

@jarrettwatson7555 4 жыл бұрын

So true and he’s done everything

@martinberglundeskildsen5306 4 жыл бұрын

@@cybertree yo dolphins f*ck people!

@gustavacresacres2329 4 жыл бұрын

@@cybertree more like a disgusting elephant seal, bert is as entertaining as drying paint

@yepyepyep170 4 жыл бұрын

Gustavacres Acres the first part of that comment was funny the second part was like a disgusting elephant seal

@SoonGone 4 жыл бұрын

Its so inspiring for me to see a special needs guy not just living like he's a normal person but actually killing it. Congratulations on your success buddy.

@mr.niceguy777 4 жыл бұрын

The Patrice story is on a video called "the greatest story ever told on radio" I suggest you go and listen to it and Bert completely butchered it and basically implied that Patrice was a rapist. He half listened to that story just like everything else in his life. That was low and loose.

@Kaunte 4 жыл бұрын

To be fair, Bert does say he shouldn't be talking about it :D

@ethanschafer4684 4 жыл бұрын

I was about to write this comment, thank you for saving me the trouble

@BoDetroit31 4 жыл бұрын

yes da fuq it was ...and thanks for callin it ...cuz i was about to do a paragraph... preciate U

@johnham14 4 жыл бұрын

If you don't like Bert why do you watch this podcast

@MetalPhlex 4 жыл бұрын

I literally cringed and shuddered: thinking if I were actually in the room when he said that garbage.

@kelsofly77 4 жыл бұрын

25:17 “Btw Drakes like a legit deal” 😂😂😂😂

@Simon-ku7ky 4 жыл бұрын

Every episode Tom's eyes get deader and deader, i really wonder how long it'll be until Tom kills Bert during the podcast.

@justmordecai 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: I'm amazed by the type of men that are out there. Tom: What do you mean? Bert: Like... the type of *MEN* that are out there. Tom: I- Bert: Like, the ty-, like, just the type of *M* *E* *N*

@mikemoore4033 4 жыл бұрын

Tom: “Do you know when you learned?” Bert: “New York.”

@jesuzombieapocalypse 4 жыл бұрын

“I like to run, I’m like a dolphin. I like to get in front of boats”- Kreischer 2020

@michaeladams6847 4 жыл бұрын

"I am the worst friend." "Oh I know.." 😅

@TemakiTom 4 жыл бұрын

I lost it when Tom said "We'll get some little people there...some dwarves...your seven favorites...."

@xeoph 4 жыл бұрын

Even though it's not going to happen, I hope Bert can get over the desire to be plastered all the time. I really think he's a beautiful human being and I want him to have good health!

@tyrelking1371 4 жыл бұрын

“I’m Tom he’s Special Needs” I love it

@platapus112 4 жыл бұрын

Everytime Bert speakers about history I physically facepalm and feel so bad about his daughters

@platapus112 4 жыл бұрын

@Landon Lee I think he thinks anyone before 1950 just sat around and did nothing

@jasongillum5763 4 жыл бұрын

they're both smarter than bert

@Carebear_311 4 жыл бұрын

And he calls them stupid 😂😂😂

@SuperReviews4you 4 жыл бұрын

Tom "We should have a end of quarantine party." Bert "When should we have it?" Tom "When the quarantine is over."

@MsSonnyR 3 жыл бұрын

1 YR later watching this again……

@cosmicresonance4142 2 жыл бұрын

@@MsSonnyR still waiting on this party!

@JimLahey1234 4 жыл бұрын

OH MAN THAT D’ELIA COMMENT LMFAO

@GrandSpiral 4 жыл бұрын

Happy 4/20 to everyone!! Pull those jeans up high and tight!

@johnathonklinedinst5889 4 жыл бұрын

Bert is probably celebrating the birthday of his favorite Führer.

@yo-yoweizer1578 4 жыл бұрын

@@johnathonklinedinst5889 i lmao'ed

@boscoedash6363 4 жыл бұрын

I wish mommies would drop a pod today

@metalfuk1 4 жыл бұрын

The 1800’s were a time of huge strides in medicine, mechanical engineering, and science

@shadowspectrum 4 жыл бұрын

I know, when I heard that I was thinking, there was a literal industrial revolution, factories became a thing.

@debjonesloyal4190 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah um...trains.

@K0sm1cKid 4 жыл бұрын

Although it is true that technology advances a lot quicker now. I think that's kinda what he meant.

@destructoblog 4 жыл бұрын

"If you think about it, I really am truly like a dolphin." I had to stop what I was doing and consider that for a couple moments.

@JakeLetizia 4 жыл бұрын

"10mg Tom" and "Everclear Segura."

@Uni85h 4 жыл бұрын

I love Patrice. He might be my favorite ever. Bert trying to tell his jokes is a hate crime

@XenionK9 4 жыл бұрын

Tom's opening bit kills me every time, much love to the both of you.

@newtonslogic 4 жыл бұрын

This was the best episode they've ever done. Hearing them talk about their childhoods was amazing.

@chrishacker7551 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: I don't like to drink and drive because I don't want to do the math. Not because the murder.

@joeyisamazing1091 4 жыл бұрын

To be fair there’s a big difference between having 2 beers and driving home from dinner Andy’s having 15 shots and driving home from a bar. It’s not unsafe or illegal as long as you only have 1 or 2 drinks and you’re not driving right away. And it also depends on if you’re at a Bbq for 6 hours and have 3 beers or at a friends for 20 minuets and have 3 beers.

@brycelumsden1080 4 жыл бұрын

They should have a water mark counter for the Bert drinking game as the pod cast goes on. Would surely get over 100

@oddynuff666 4 жыл бұрын

if someone wants to edit the 3 specials together with the joke and link it, it will be much appreciated

@matthewsydney5594 4 жыл бұрын

Yes please!

@nnikkittenn 4 жыл бұрын

He's just trying to get another view on his special. Brilliant.

@michaelhartman2645 4 жыл бұрын

I wanna see it

@OttoTheWeim 4 жыл бұрын

These shows are THE BEST thing on KZfaq today. Putting the 2 best comedians out there today aside from Chapelle (he is a legend but both of you are becoming legends as well).

@isaiahc_26 4 жыл бұрын

“Im Tom and he’s special needs”😂😂😂

@ejcrafton84 4 жыл бұрын

“Shot myself short” Bert is the old bartender from Boondocks Saints that doesn’t get idioms right.

@TheWalkingDavid 4 жыл бұрын

ejcrafton84 I was wondering if anyone else caught it

@peachmelba1000 4 жыл бұрын

Bert is American Ricky.

@brento4605 4 жыл бұрын

peachmelba1000 haha! you nailed it

@glassboxfish 4 жыл бұрын

“Let’s make this episode about Tom, I’m here to listen” Proceeds to immediately interrupt Tom once he starts talking

@JasonMcLean523 4 жыл бұрын

man i love this podcast! whenever Tom gets to talk its hilarious

@moodyblues5150 4 жыл бұрын

Way to make this a “listening” episode, Bert!

@ryandugan2062 4 жыл бұрын

Bert “wont talk about” how he just said someone went to prison for sexual assault and hes not entirely certain

@GuinessHangover 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: Spends 5 minutes talking about how Patrice went to jail for sexual assault, follows it up with "I wont talk about it."

@Yophillips3272 4 жыл бұрын

He didn't even get the story right fat drunk. Lol

@tberwick1 4 жыл бұрын

Made Patrice sound well suspect, he didn't assault anyone (according to his take, which I believe). He tells the story well on O&A.

@powderandpaint14 4 жыл бұрын

@@tberwick1 I expect a large percentage of people who go to prison for sexual assault say they didn't assault anyone.....

@421less1 4 жыл бұрын

@@powderandpaint14 the way patrice told it on O and A. Him and some buddies ran a train on a 15 year old girl and they were all 15-17. He said everything was consensual and just a nice afternoon really. One of his buddies talks about it, some jerk hears, tries to blackmail the girl for a blowjob, she complies, runs outta the bathroom screaming in school that he raped her. She gets in an interview room and tells the whole story. Shes 15 so its open and shut. Decide for you What bugs me is that bert claims to "love" the guy and say all this shit about how he looked up to patrice, then that's the only fucking thing you can think of to say about him? Funny type of admiration. If you had a dead friend and you wanted people to know how great he was, i bet you wouldn't start there

@crawford244 4 жыл бұрын

38:20 - Bert: "why did you become a comedian?" Then he IMMEDIATELY interrupts Tom a millisecond after he starts answering

@joseporras7804 4 жыл бұрын

It really sucks that Tom can't speak

@tophan5146 4 жыл бұрын

Take a shot

@jamesdickey9427 4 жыл бұрын

Tom just kicks back and lets Bert go. Co-hosting a podcast with Bert looks easy... you say two words, Bert jumps in and talks for 5 minutes.

@IKhanicCollector 4 жыл бұрын

Thats what makes the show great.

@NateGUYYY 4 жыл бұрын

Andrew Crawford you have eyes and ears. Cool.

@72jaymbee 4 жыл бұрын

As someone who can't hide when they're pissed, so obvious tom was not loving life this ep, fair enough too

@aust_barrett 4 жыл бұрын

Bert saying “I like to get in front of boats” as a comparison to a dolphin is so funny😂

@bterwin9887 4 жыл бұрын

Bert's clan robe can't be fitting him right now during coronavirus

@ShadowT23 4 жыл бұрын

Imagine how cranky he is now that he can't attend the weekly meetings

@Paul_DSZ 4 жыл бұрын

ShadowT23 probably just getting more drunk and embarrassing his wife

@svhmj3918 4 жыл бұрын

Those poor guys playing that drinking game are going to die from alcohol poisoning because of this episode.

@alexmendoza9645 4 жыл бұрын

💯 percent

@TheGobbuh 4 жыл бұрын

“Did you play tatertot?” “You mean peewee?” How did he figure out that from that

@deanfranz 4 жыл бұрын

On Patrice: "I won't even talk about it" .....20 seconds later.... Bert talks about it.

@SpaceAnimalGaming 4 жыл бұрын

I like Bert a lot more than some of the people in these comments sections, but he absolutely has a tendency to say "I am NOT the one that should be talking about this topic... Okay, here's five minutes of my uneducated, inarticulate take on it."

@federicalfred1 4 жыл бұрын

I'll never get tired of saying that the guys laughing in the back make everything so much better 😂

@stephaniehalloran4447 4 жыл бұрын

It's the truth!!!!

@alanbrown5907 2 жыл бұрын

Those laughs are recorded. Every time you hear that, someone is pushing a button, not actually laughing. Notice you hear it at the beginning of every episode before they've even said anything.

@EcchiHeroOda 4 жыл бұрын

'I like to run, I'm like a dolphin' - burnt kristler I think this special needs bit, isn't really a bit.

@LANCEtheBOIL 4 жыл бұрын

Brent christeler is definitely spiecist

@pdd84 4 жыл бұрын

These two are made for each other.

@littlestewiegriffin 4 жыл бұрын

Imagine if Letterman said "ok were gonna take a break here, I have to shit pretty bad" :D lol

@kawaiiafangirl 3 жыл бұрын

I genuinely laughed at that. Lmao.

@hernanhernandez5583 4 жыл бұрын

“My brain’s really different. I like to run.” And “I like to get in front of boats.” Are my two favorite quotes!!!!

@RaDicAL808 4 жыл бұрын

Bert’s Dad: football is too dangerous. Bert after baseball: teeth left the chat.

@terrence777 3 жыл бұрын

"I like to run; I'm like a dolphin." - Bert 😂😂😂

@kronosx7 4 жыл бұрын

That's not what herd immunity is. Bert actually went out to find the definition, and stopped like 3 words in and pretended it confirmed it. Herd immunity is when enough people are immune that effectively everyone is immune because the chances of a person that is infected running into a person that isn't immune is extremely small.

@stormbreak13 4 жыл бұрын

Last time I was this early, Bert still had all his original teeth

@s.leszczynski5966 4 жыл бұрын

50:35 reminded me of: “I’m a peacock, you gotta let me fly!” If you know you know

@zacdickerson1397 4 жыл бұрын

Bert finally listening to Tom: "oh wow this Tom fella actually has some interesting stories, I should have him on my podcast"

@gabrielcarpenter6770 4 жыл бұрын

Tom and Bert love thus podcasts!!! Can't wait for the two bears, 1 cave hats!!!

@wstr9963 4 жыл бұрын

I used to love Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to, too.

@angelique_cs 4 жыл бұрын

LOL perfection

@fliptophiphop1894 4 жыл бұрын

Hell yea

@Kaunte 4 жыл бұрын

Classic

@mattm7378 4 жыл бұрын

Bert: people born in the 1930s only lived to 35. Also Bert: I was talking to Leanne's Grandfather ...

@ministevie8 4 жыл бұрын

He said 1870s but it's still ludicrous

@LukeGeoDude 4 жыл бұрын

@@ministevie8 Yeah, he was thinking of the fucking stone age, and it wasn't even true for that.

@shenbeuv2616 4 жыл бұрын

@@LukeGeoDude it is true lol, people didn't live long.

@K0sm1cKid 4 жыл бұрын

@@shenbeuv2616 on average people didn't live long but a lot of changes still occured over 40 years. Lol

@260exGOD 4 жыл бұрын

Bert trying to talk about history is hilarious.

@jaybell7838 4 жыл бұрын

"I'm a runner! I wanna race I'm a stallion!! I'm actually most like a dolphin!!!"

@ericlorance2089 4 жыл бұрын

Bert “diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the brain” Kreischer

@VIDEOdugo 4 жыл бұрын

Based on the stories in this episode, I think we can include regular diarrhea as well.

@danielstone9978 4 жыл бұрын

Dysentery

@TehMadCow 4 жыл бұрын

He’s beyond that at this point it’s chronic irritable bowel syndrome of the mouth, irreversible toxic megacolon of the brain

@louiegallo1289 4 жыл бұрын

FUN GAME: Take a drink every time Bert says "I", "Me", "My". You're already drunk.

@jamesdickey9427 4 жыл бұрын

Anyone that tries to keep up with that game will get alcohol poisoning and a trip to the ER.

@Daniel-wv7lj 4 жыл бұрын

You could do that for anybody 🤣

@louiegallo1289 4 жыл бұрын

@@Daniel-wv7lj Not true. Have you ever seen him analyze something, make an observation, or discuss a topic without talking strictly about himself? You haven't. He does this thing where he'll ask someone a question just so he can answer it himself to talk about himself. He's funny, but self-centered and annoying.