Domineering mothers and weak fathers in the family cause so much damage to their male children. So much disfunction is passed down through the generations.

"If you want to manipulate a nice guy to get him to do what you want, call him selfish" 18:00 Wow, that hit home. My ex wife did this often... i played the nice guy game and i lost.

You don’t get what you deserve in life, only what you negotiate.

Ryan Holidays book, “the obstacle is the way” got me through one of the hardest moments in my life. I would listen to it over and over on Audible for days. I recommend it. Hearing the quotes from stoic philosophers makes me feel strong and limitless. And it got me to realize that the secret to making a million is making better investment.

Be dangerous, but disciplined. Learn to say no and mean it.

The world needs more good men, not “nice guys.”

Nice story at the end. I live alone and work from home, so I can say and do whatever I want. However, when I do this around other people, it sometimes gets awkward - because they are not used to it. i saw my neighbor waxing his new car recently, so we started chatting. We talked about our recent weight loss and the routes we walk each day. Then his wife comes out. I say hello and then joke, "hey, since he is putting the wax on, you should take the wax off." She frowned and said, "you getting yourself into trouble now..." btw, the thing that made me realize i was being a blue pill SIMP was the book Boundaries. once I started saying NO to my ex-wife, WW3 erupted. She said "When we met, I thought you couldn't hurt a fly. But now i realize you are so stubborn!" She wanted someone she could manipulate. The pastor we were seeing for 10 years kept telling me to "love her." well, shit - I was! But she was not reciprocating. I finally realized I was being abused - by her and the church. I kicked both to the curb.

I'm not a nice guy. But I've got a big heart. Yet women call me a jerk because I'm not doing what they want. I'm not a jerk either. I'm strong willed. There's a difference.

My marriage has gotten so much better and my wife has moved closer to me and seems to appreciate me more ever since I started to say ...NO.....!...I used to put up with silly tantrums and her emotional rollercoaster and unreasonable behavior !..one day I had enough and so with a very clear and precise statement , I said NO ! I will not puit up with your behavior and irrational conversation , I laid out the facts of the situation and told her I would not hear anymore about it until she started to act like an adult and behave with reason and I closed the door and walked off and the next 12 hours there was silence the day after she was as sweet as apple pie and super nice to me and apologized for being so stupid ...I had a hard time believing it but when I come across as being hard she responds very well indeed .......Women are children and should be treated as such !

"Feel the fear and do it anyway." I had that book as audiobook and it helped me a lot.

Beware of a person who takes kindness for weakness.

Wish I'd heard this as a teenager. I was a nice guy for years all it got me was taken advantage of. When I'd finally had enough things changed..... for the better.

This book plus “When I Say No I Feel Guilty” are truly gems.

By being Mr. Nice Guy I am in the final stage of loosing my wife and ruining my marriage and more important I discovered that I have lost myself the last 10 years. I don't know if there is enough time to save the marriage but there is definitely enough time to become a happy person. Right now I am changing and taking care of myself which is top priority in my list. Taking care of my body, health, mind, spirit and emotions. Through my happiness people around me are going to be happy. I don't need to be a giver in a way to try to extract love from others simply because I am starting to loving myself.

Being nice doesn't get you laid.

I'm reading this book now, & soooo much of it is hitting home with me ! I'm researching the MGTOW movement too. It's just amazing to me how much time, effort, mental energy, $$$$, etc., we spend (& lose) on "getting the girl", my best friends talk about it daily !! I was married for 13 years, with 2 kiddos, she cheated on me, been divorced 14 years now ~ I've since dated 10-15 women, some briefly, some for years, have now been out of a 1-1/2 year serious relationship for 6 months, not dating or pursuing anyone new on purpose ~ I'm too much of a "Nice Guy" and sacrifice too much of me for "her" ~ I'm done for awhile, I need to figure out what I want, and who the new me will be ~ peace.

life does not give you what you deserve but what you ask. so start being assertive .

I was taught to be a nice guy...over the years of being taken advantage of, I have hardened and developed a "blackheart". Now, I am a Good guy. The difference...Good guys hit back!

Forgive me Lord for I have simped. This book lead me to discover the red pill and mgtow. I'm tired of being the nice guy that's always so afraid of conflict.

A nice guy doesn't have to be a doormat. Too many people think the two are synonymous. They aren't. Be a nice guy, but don't let people fuck with you.

I cant thank you enough for creating this, its a day of serious breakthroughs hearing this podcast. Much respect to you.

Dr Glover is the best! thanks!

This book saved me. Thank you Dr. Glover.

Excellent! Thank you for posting this.

Thank you! Great talk. Us men need to hear this. We all need a tune up.

There's so much value in this, thanks

Like how Dr. Glover explain's through a story about what it is to be a man. Great podcast

You have to stick up for yourself, and for every situation there has to be a line in the sand, a point where you will commence pushing back strongly.

Fantastic! What a powerful story at the end!

My first husband was a good person...a good son..a good little boy.I had no dobt he loved me but his mother came first and eventually he turned me INTO his mommy too, a second one, although my personality was different from hers. I was 17 and he was 21 when we married. She really would have preferred if he had stayed at home living with her forever just as her youngest child, another son did. Her daughter married a man three doors down so she stayed home with Mama too. Mama was a cloying woman a vulnerable narcissist, and the husband walked out on her when the children were young. That made her cling much tighter to them all of course. I had our son when we had been married a year and a half. He was 6 mos old when I had to go to work fulltime because my husband couldnt keep a job. I was night admissions officer at a hospital. He got jobs, none lasted more than a few months. He really did want me to be his mother too, support HIM, cook, clean, do the yard work and I did do it all because though I was young, I was conscientious and competent. He stayed in front of the TV watching old black and white movies. I never argued with him about any of it, never nagged, just tried to figure out why he could not keep a job. Finally after seven years of it, I pitched in the towel , we never argued ever...I just knew he would never change. He never hit me , drank, went out to bars, played around on me and why would he? He had the perfect wifey...good sex, AND a second Mommy too, who made no demands of him. He was an infantalized man. I had started college the year before I left him. I took psych courses a full course load,made straight As in everything. I had found a part time job at the college but when I entered college I told him...now it is up to you whether we eat or starve. FINALLY he got a job and stuck with it. Then I KNEW he COULD have done it all along.Probably he knew I had one foot out the door. After my freshman year I LEFT him. He had a new girlfriend in a couple of months...he turned HER in to a Mommy...He had two kids with her, worked sometimes, didnt other times, she held a full time job for 50 years...she is 70 and STILL working. Now she is supportimg her grandchildren. She always had free rent, her parents owned a triple decker outside Boston so she had a free apt and later inherited the house. My ex died about 10 years ago. Meantime I became a clinical psychologist,always worked at the universities I was attending. I became a uni adminstrator and was offered a presidency just before I retired at 50 to sail the Caribbean. You have to be able to hoist sails. It was time. After nearly 10 years of sailing we moved ashore my mate of 41 years built our tropical home with local labor. He passed away a while ago. I have had a great life. I am so grateful I left my first husband. I grew up....and up and up. He never did. It just isnt enough to be a mere nice guy. You have to have a core that is you, that is admirable. You have to be a man a woman can live up to. It isnt about what you earn or power. In soceity, its about CENTEREDESS. I was attracted to my mate because of the way he held himself. It wasnt fake braggadocio, it wasnt cockiness it was strength, inner strength and outer strength he exuded.He wasnt going to pretend to be one thing he wasnt and he never did with anyone, so authenticity. He was bankrupt when I met him. He had been a mutimillionaire and lost his large construction development business, his car dealership, his rentsl properties commercial and residential and his partnership in a bank. He graduated university with nothing so he built it all. He was still the man who had DONE all that. His wife walked out when he went bankrupt...she had been in it for the lifestyle. I was already providing my own lifestyle and didnt need that. His head was unbowed...his spirit undefeated, he exuded a quiet confidence. He loved saiing I loved sailing. I retired early so we could do the sailing. We had adventure, we had joy. He was an avid reader. As a professor, so was I, IT was central to what each of us were. We wanted to travel, to see the world I invested my retirement well as he taught ME investing but it was my investing. He alwys worke u til we sailed. He lived every day for that day and never wanted to own alot after he had lost it all. He spent his money on our pre retirement travel and he bought the boats we had one smaller one preretirement.He never again wanted to exchange LIVING in the moment for slaving away to build up businesses only to have them crumble due to Federal monetary policy. That is what had happened to him when Jimmy Carter was president. I lost a giant of man.

Superb. Great information. Thank you!

Being Nice and Good deeds are a thin line. Being nice is a good deed and has its rewards don't be concerned about what people think of you or what they do to you. on the day of judgement you'll see the rewards. Remember the Bible and Quran teaches The act of kindness.

Wow....this makes so much sense to my situation in life right now... definitely need to adjust.

Great content guys amazing working so much appreciation ❤️

Epic. Thank you both.

Good talk. I love it when a Dr. Keeps it real and uses the F word (about true selfish people who don't give F*** about anyone else.) Great insight into this subject and paradigms that vex a majority of the US male populace. Thumbs UP.

This sit down was very helpful and inspiring.! And real " I haven't read my book in 15 years!! What did i say?" Lol epic but respectfully real!!

Love this book. Read it many times.

Man this was so great too hear. Im def. a "nice guy". And when you guys said to be selfish and focus on yourself. It hit me so deep. I really appreciate the words of wisdom.

JC!! What a great discussion!

Amazing podcast! Thanks a lot!

Dr Robert Glover is a genius. He's discovered a major life changer. His book is amazing. Nice Guy Syndrome isn't as simple as it sounds.

Thank you for this - very insightful information!

Excellent talk

This is amazingly insightful

Good story at the end...made my day

Loved it.

For a good part of my younger years I was an asshole of guy. Got plenty of attention from women and jealous comments from guys. My wrong doings never burned my conscience. After a heartbreaking relationship I turned into a "Nice Guy"; reasoning that it was because "I didn't try hard enough" that we didn't work out. The biggest difference I immediately noticed was how everyone started treating me. Men started looking down on me and women started treating me like I was some weak willed idiot. Even after I laughed at them and point blank calling them out on their BS games, they would still look down on me. So I turned back to the Asshole and never looked back.

Hi dear men...you all are awesome. My husband read this book and now he's a totally different man...thank God, this safed our marriage. There are still tons of "NICE GUYS" out there, a lot of work to do. Thanks for this podcast 🤗😘

What helped me is to STOP being the "old-fashioned" gentleman. The only women I show any special respect or kindness are the women I know & who have earned it. The women I don't know I treat with the basic respect I show men.

Excellent video...give u strenght

Dr. Glover book changed my life . I encourage all men to read this book

Dont GIVE,make others EARN your loyalty,respect and love.... time will tell if their really in it for the right reasons. Dont be so hard up for anyone! Unless they deserve it, then skys the limit!

Giving my gift to the world .

Thank you 💯

Great content!

Treat them the same as they treat you

I’m going to check the website... I’m a Jordan Peterson listener and new to this channel but it may help me

I just found this video.. It's good.. Thanks..

Totally true psychological insight.

Women.... enough thanks. Got out of the last relationship 12 years ago now, never looked back, never money issues, never get told where to get of or what to do, never unappreciated but most importantly why the hell would any man want an Owner/ Manager, that will be burning through your recourses then rob you blind when they inevitably abscond? I am a "Better Man", and cherish my freedom, thanks.

You're not a nice guy if you're not nice to yourself. Amazing

Thankyou

learn to love myself well. filling my cup so I can love others well

Great content

It is quite scary. Yesterday I just thought 'No more Mr Nice Guy' should become my new motto. And today my feed is topped by this 5 years old video.

The only power other people have over you is that which you allow them to have. Regain your power and self respect

I agree with all of this and tried making changes (I’m an extreme nice guy and women initially love it, then despise it). After trying to change and finding it very draining, I settled on; I’m a nice guy, you don’t like it, beat it. That I am comfortable with and it isn’t draining.

The first 6 minutes are so accurate.

If you're a "Nice Guy" you had horrible parents.

My only goal is to man up ❤thanks for your positive videos

I am not a nice guy and I am not a people pleasing person but because I am polite I get mistaken for a nice guy before I get a chance to let them know who I am . I asked a woman out today and she wasn't interested . I didn't let it get to me . Ever since I got clean from drugs 21 years ago I have had three relationships one was okay the 2nd one was toxic and scary !!! The 3rd one I broke it off before it got toxic , but since I have been clean I have seemed to have lost my edge with women , when I was high I didn't care and women liked that but now I have my own home a good job and can't seem to get a date !!

I read his book in 2020, did the workbook too. Also did two 2 month batches of therapy and by mid 2021 I was a new man, I feel I went from adult boy to MAN. Awesome. Thanks for the assistance Dr. Glover, you really get out what you put in.

Hell F*cking ya. Man I've wanted to make something like this for so long. You are killing this channel!

I read his book and honestly just now I think I understand some things. All his points here and book are in line with my experience. But I never thought and never felt I'm the problem for bad things going on in the family. I can recall few situations but I never though nor I think now I was abandoned although when I look back I surely was on so many levels. But what he points out we internalize it and we do not think that its just deep in subconscious that still governs your behavior and view of the world wether you realize it or not. You THINK one thing but your behavior hows something else. Basically its hard to know yourself.

Wow, if I could have the dedication towards something the way I do towards those contracts, I'd be unstoppable, that's somethin to strive for. Quitting this shit is harder than quitting cigarettes

just came across this episode. A lot of points hit home with me. i will be getting this book and try to turn things around.Before its to late

Yo man i really like this channel. I can listen to the whole thg at this moment but i will. I had to go thru these changes as well. It uas not be seen easy cuz my nice guy conditioning is still there. So i have to learn to "be different or present in a way thats oppoiste of old blue pilled thinking ." I gotta stay at it tho. Great discussion. 😊

You don't get what you want in life, you get who you are.

Ok I accept that I have been a "Nice Guy" as I tried hard to be patient and understanding of my girlfriend's (now ex) struggle with Bipolar Disorder. The end of the relationship is the best thing for me to get back on track.

What I'm understanding from this is Dr. Glover is determining that nice guys give in order to multiple an outcome that he desires. If the guy gives of themselves then they deserve something in return without additional effort. He is recommending being honest and setting your boundaries and admitting what you expect. It is having respect for yourself and what you have to offer. He isn't suggesting being a prick. One side doesn't have to lose for you to win. An alpha man or a leader will a situation better than they found it.

Keep it going Men!

"That sucking sound" yeah, been there, and it's quite ironic how I see the same passive aggressive always afraid, empty and hungry for love attitude in my GF which pushes me toward breaking up. But fought so hard as a knight to save her from depression as beside all that she is the sweetest of souls. This helps a lot to articulate my thoughts, and maybe give her a final nudge to get her act together. If not, gotta man up and cut the cord, maybe I can't save her, but I'm sure as hell not going down with her... there is so much wonder in this world to see, so much value to give back... gotta love the grind

Holy fucking shit this talk was eye opening, at multiple points i felt a huge discomfort because i feel like he is really describing me, god damn. Thank you and a great big thank you to the doctor, i am def going to get his book.

Be a nice guy..be bold and brave but don't let anyone piss in your head or treat you like a doormat :)

careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how you want to be treated.

And this ladies and gentleman is proof as why people have earned their hate and rightfully so be hated.

I always say being nice is a choice. Don’t be nice in order for someone to step on your neck.

Good stuff

42:55 Great definition of a man!

Great video. Super. Once and for all killed and buried my Mr unhappy Nice guy. Thank you

"Women sometimes forgive the one who abrupt the opportunity, but never the one who misses it." - Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

Yup I am a nice guy, and I am often finding myself in a situation where things just aren't reciprocal, and it took the break off of a relationship for me to see that. - We are often blind until we fall on our asses so too speak. - This is not acceptable too me and I didn't realize it until the way a recent relationship almost re-sparked… she and I were talking for 3 years then just before she met someone else I did something that I admittedly should have discussed with her, but before it got too serious with him, she finally broke it off with me, it obviously broke every bit of niceness in me/willingness to be nice to her, I cut off all talk with her, then almost a week ago now she comes back into my life. "I miss talking too you" well that is great I try to reconnect too her, and I realized my mistake about not including her in a big decision that would affect us both, albeit I still believe I would have been making the right decision I relented and changed my goals for her a bit. (BIG mistake) - I am also realizing how much I despise saying good night or good morning to her and just radio silence for hours, and finally I get a "sorry I was busy" and me making an excuse/saying oh it's alright! … Bah it is time I am honest with that, nah it isn't ok not when I generally reply to you right away. - Sometimes that doesn't even happen until the next day. - Once or twice is ok to a point but when it just becomes a habit for them, it wears thin and it is beyond irritating. - Something that is ok once can easily become a bad habit so we have to be weary of that fact. I am also indeed an yes man. I would NOT say I am afraid to let others do things for me, but what IS true is that I LOATHE asking them for help/to do something that they should. I.E Return SOME of the favors. Asking for a job/promotion. (I do NOT like asking people for help, I feel if they really wanted me then they would have said so before we parted ways.) I say no more, I am not going to be specifically blunt/rude when I tell people no, but I am so going to work on it more.

Carlos cassidenti book what is the difference between a man and a warrior. A warrior takes everything as a challenge ordinary man eater take things as a curse or a blessing.

I am working on converting out of the nice guy mental disorder. I agree with all that was mentioned during this discussion and will be purchasing the book. I remember I was talking to my ex’s sister and she said “that’s because your a nice guy” it hit me like a hook from Mike Tyson. I have been called a ass hole since because I didn’t agree with someone else beliefs. It felt like a badge of honor, it told me I stood on my own beliefs vs nicely agreeing with them so “they like me.”

I'm always friendly, never mean. There's no need to be tough. You're in control always, you set the tone. Women are only stars because of you..

Holy fuck shit! This is so good! 😆… I used to be the extreme opposite and likewise I had a reputation for being a tough guy, in charge, controlling and easily getting women! Especially younger hotter women that used to shock me and everyone else! Then 4 years ago It was like I found religion again for the 1st time! I finally came full circle, stopped all bad habits became the nice guy that everyone (especially my wife) always wanted me to be! Literally my life (both public and private) is like that of a well-known old gentleman and Christian Pastor combined! and at first it was good but as i became more and more boring and nice my wife lost interest and many other things within this same category dramatically changed for the worst! This ultimately resulted in her cheating on me and this year, she divorced me! This would have been our 19th year of marriage together! Now as I keep doing more and more for her than ever before and getting no where, I realized the other day (on an epic scale) that I have become “that guy” and I told her it too! I also told her NO to many things and I told her I understood why she doesn’t respect me… because I don’t respect myself! Then I just randomly (like some kind of an odd miracle) stumbled onto this channel/video and started listening! Not even sure why I did start or continue but now I’m not only watching it for a 2nd time but I’m very greatfull…Thank you!! If your watching this an unsure about what your hearing and or scared to take this advice and run with it…. Trust me! This mans statements, opinions and solutions to this issue is 100% spot on! I know from having extensive experience on both sides of this reality… What he is saying is 100% true!!! And to the decent person struggling with this issue… I know what you’re thinking! But I can tell you the world is not divided between those that dominate and those who don’t! It’s not about being a selfish asshole! It’s about remembering that old fashioned timeless universal truth! “That you can only get what you first give” respect yourself, set boundaries, be a man of principle and never compromise on them! Then and only then will you experience people in your life like, loving and respecting you!!!

All men should familiarize themselves with the meaning of hypergamy and how it affects ALL men. If you don't know what it is do a YT search.

That last statement resonated with me. I bought a trampoline at BJs and I was struggling to lift it into my vehicle and this black guy in a police uniform came up to me. He had a child with him. He asked if I needed help. I said yes and he picked it up like it was nothing and threw it into my vehicle. This weighed like 250 pounds and he tossed it like it was nothing. I will never forget it.

My New year's resolution is going to become a 'no more Mr.Nice guy'