Take a daily walk with your wife. No phones, no older kids (stroller kids are ok) and just walk and talk. Make it a daily habit or at least a few times a week. Best times I have with my wife. She loves it and looks forward to it, too.

On behalf of the remaining traditional single women of the world, thank you for this message. Also, thank you to all of the men in the comments who either already are or want to show up for your families this way. You are quite literally making the world a better place.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

“I want my wife to win” That one struck me hard.

I’ve been married for 3 years, been together for five, met my wife on the side of the freeway changing her tire, and she asked me out… It can happen fellas. It’s all about communication. Whether it’s talking about the future or discussing things that happened in the past. Communication is the number one in a lasting, loving relationship. A woman will go to the ends of the earth with you helping to pull the wagon, as long as you are leading and communicating the direction🤙

Man this one really hit home for me. I have been in a committed relationship for 14 years. Have 1 kid together. I was doing everything right up until my son was born. Somehow I completely lost my way and forgot what it was to be a man worth following. She got fed up with my immaturity and decided enough is enough. Rightfully so. Guys, dont ever lose sight of what you have, have that drive every day and be that amazing man your woman and kids deserve.

Get ready for a rude awakening @2:52. So necessary to hear for most men, especially christians. We expect women to follow because that is their biblical role, but we fail to place responsibility on ourselves as the husbands to be someone worth following. What a refreshing reminder.

Agreed brother. Been married 12 years and I follow these steps religiously. If she spends hours making dinner, I usually do the dishes and clean up. It's the least I can do. When she was working full time and going to school full time, I did everything. Laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc. because I knew she was overwhelmed. I tell young married men all the time, you have to respect yourself before she will ever respect you.

A happy relationship is when both man and woman are in their natural essence respectively.

I'm a wife who is nothing more than a friend/roommate with benefits. You are correct, we want so so much more.

Great advice. However, if you have a partner who is not willing to follow you , and doesn’t share your values it’s hard to lead.

Wow! FINALLY! A show that doesn’t cut down either side, but tries to show how the differences compliment each other! ❤

If anyone wants to include me in their prayer I could surely use it. The strength to fully trust God's plan with everything I have and not focus on current pain. Thought i met the one God put in my life but was thrown a curveball. Still not convinced she isnt but need to trust his plan. Thank you very much and God bless

As a young man I want to do so much better. I’m very lacking and this did make me cry. I will do better.

Man brother this is gold. My wife and I just separated and as I listen to this I can pin point where I have come up short and the result of coming up short in those areas align with exactly what you're saying would happen. I'm improving though!

Newly single momma(not my choice) to four kiddos here (2 are boys). I’m peeking behind the veil here so I can learn my role in raising healthy masculine men. Thanks for the work that you do.

Wow this video spoke a lot to me, my wife and I have been together 10yrs this year and after our first year I broke my back, had intensive surgery and was out of work for almost 5 yrs, she took care of everything and we were falling apart, finally found my groove again 3 yrs ago, lost 150lbs went out and got more schooling and got a great job, I’ve been holding everything down while allowing her to follow her dreams now and our relationship has been great, we became best friends rather then just husband and wife

Dude....I think you just saved my marriage! Good podcast! Thanks for posting it!

Communication is Key! My wife and I have a couple rules when having a “discussion” (argument. we just don’t call it that) about something that is bothersome. Works for kids too. 1. Don’t name call build each other up don’t break them down. 2. No cussing. You can get you point across just fine without cussing. 3. No yelling. When you raise your voice it puts the other person in a defensive mode and now their mind has shifted away from positive progress. 4.Clear A to B path. Don’t talk circles. Listen to what is bothering your partner, agree on a solution/compromise, put into effect. As a leader you need to create and maintain a healthy environment where people can say their piece.

1. Lead yourself first. Have goals, principles and stick by them. Continue to grow. Obtain new skills. No one wants to follow someone who cant effectively lead their own life. 2. Communicate & uphold expectations and boundaries. Remember you are masculine and she is feminine. Your approach to the world is going to be a lot different from her feminine approach and both are okay. You both come from different perspectives and cultures and have different ideas of how to deal with things. At the end of the day make sure that you both are unified and understand eachothers boundaries. 3. Strive to hear & understand her. See where she is coming from. Understand her feminine side as good. Dont just hear what she's saying, listen to what she is saying. Remember not to hear only to respond, but to listen to understand with clarity. 4. Serve her. A relationship is a partnership and serving her serves you ultimately. Remeber serving her doesnt make you a beta. She will in turn serve you. 5. Cast your vision for future. Make sure you both are heading in a direction that both aligns to your vision of the future. It's important that you both adhere to eachothers vision and try to become one headed towards that shared future.

Love the boldness of this topic. There is so much misunderstanding from the world where a man desires to lead his wife and his family. The world interprets the statement as keeping women down and your family sheltered and uninformed. It's quite the opposite. Leading our wives and family is leaving lifting her up and informing our children on how to live life to the fullest.

Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..

This is such a great headline, "She Will Follow If You Lead." The secret to an amazing relationship is so simple it's mind numbing. Two things i did that changed my life. 1. Always be kind. I know, you don't know how everytime, but think about it, then respond kindly in all situations no matter what. This will make you a much better person. 2. Never have any expectations from anyone other than yourself. It is extremely important that you expect yourself to always learn and grow and get things done. You are the man, you are the leader. Be a kind real leader and the love and respect and Desire you experience will serve you right.

I prayed this morning for guidance. This was the very first thing that popped up on KZfaq. I've always been a man capable of treating a woman well.. but I've always felt less capable of being a leader because i struggle with motivation and follow through, and I think you hit the nail on the head with your number 1.. I need to buckle down and be more capable of leading myself and following through so I can be worth following. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I got up and started handling a list of things I'd been putting off while listening. Thanks for your words, and passionately conveying your vision to me.. I'm inspired.

Having a wife that homeschools your children is a huge win.

It's about a willingness to compromise and applying equal effort to say the least. The struggle is when you are trying so hard, but she isn't applying equal effort, but wants the world of me. I'm not lazy or lack effort by any means. Ryan, I'm willing to serve, but not at the account of being taken advantage of.

To anyone reading this: his advice is GOLD! Thank you! My mom always told me that if you honor your husband he will honor you.

As a young man not married or courting any lady right now but I enjoy and learn from videos like this thank 😊

I am happy to say I have this in my marriage, but this channel and these lessons help me to recenter my world so I can be a leader. Keep it up brother.

“The fact that we don’t understand each other is not a bug in the process, it’s a feature of the process!” Man you nailed it. I have been with my wife for 35 years. If you don’t learn to appreciate the lack of understanding, you will not continue to try to understand. If you stop trying to understand your wife, another man will. That simple. It’s a commitment not a warm fuzzy feeling. Your wife is not your servant; she is you and everything that makes you whole. Study her, and when the decades change her personality or worldview, know that her changes are likely a compensation for your changes.

I would like to share a lesson I have learned recently. If I am genuinely happy with my direction, excited and expressing enthusiasm and gratitude for being able to achieve my goals in life then that attitude is infectious. I’m more engaging and understanding with my wife and family, more encouraging and up lifting. The more I do that the more my wife and kids want to follow me naturally because I’m happy and their bad moods don’t hurt me or get me down. I admit it’s difficult to cultivate that positivity in a deep genuine sustainable way, but when that is going on it’s like bees to honey. It’s about knowing exactly what will fulfill you on a deep level and actually going for it. Everything else is clear when we know who we are where we are going and why, we don’t need to have any system to follow it all happens naturally when we line up our mind body and heart on a path we 100% believe in.

Men, it’s only if she trusts and respects you as a man, will she trust your decisions as a provider or caretaker and follow your lead. If you have been acting weak and not making good decisions, you must first change that behavior immediately. It will take sometime for them to get used to the new behavior before the trust is there but only then will you be on your way to leading your family. Keep growing and moving forward gentlemen as our family needs all of us!!

I wish my husband would have had these kinds of convictions. He separated from me almost 6 years ago & has treated me as if I'm invisible paint on the wall. It hurt me severely. I was loving, I dressed & tried to look nice for him. Now we are about to start the divorce process because he will not press in, will not pursue me, or get counseling, will not take anyone's advice but his own. I loved & adored him. I was always faithful to him. But I finally gave up on him loving me 2 years ago, after 25 years of marriage where the patterns were always the same. He has forced me to live married & alone so many years. It wore me out & I have been building myself back up the past few years. I was a traditional wife. I loved raising & homeschooling our children. I loved my husband. I supported & helped him with his business. I homeschooled our sons through HS graduation & they are now 21 & 23 & doing very well & are wonderful, kind-hearted, responsible young men. They even confronted him about how he treated me, but he would not listen. My h did not stick with me, did not press in. When problems arose, he stonewalled me, abandoned me, or used his aggression to intimidate me or beat me down. He has some good qualities but seemed to show them to others & not his own wife. Now, I am trying to make decisions on going back to school & learning to support myself. I know I can do it. But his chronic decisions to block all attempts at saving our marriage were traumatic & so unnecessary. He had a good, faithful wife who loved & adored him, who wanted him to lead...but lovingly. I feel I am starting over in life, just at the time that I'd always thought I would be enjoying my husband & family after my children left home. I knew I was not perfect but I was forever trying, forgiving, loving, drawing closer, & always pressing in to learn better from God & the bible, wise mentors & Counselors, books, etc. I thought he would do it with me. Not just walk away.

I'm the one saying "You're fine. Let's get you cleaned up and get back out there. Gotta fall a few times before you can fly". I'm not one to baby... and my ex-husband HATED that about me. He wanted me to baby him and told me time and time again that I wasn't emotional enough. There are so many types of women out there. Not all of us are softies. You're right on leadership and trust. If the leader cannot lead themselves, how do they expect anyone to follow them? We'll see right through the BS and go, "no thanks, I got this".

Thank God for this Channel. I just found out recently my lady is pregnant and we’ll be having our first child. I’m excited and nervous at the same time but knowing that men like this are saying the right things I have more confidence moving forward. Personally l say thank you 🙏

If God and scripture were used in this platform I would likely subscribe. If men can't/won't/don't submit to God first, the responsibility of leading is nothing but self serving. He is the example we all need to follow.

I have a basic understanding of women and I would still like to partner with one. Partner not to gain greater understanding of all women, just the one I want to live with.

Well said !! Great Video .👌 👍👍.. Its our job as Men to lead.. Marriage teaches us many things but most importantly , it teaches us how to Love one another unconditionally, as Jesus Christ Loves Us . My wife & I will be celebrating 20 years together this Month by the Grace of God, my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, ✝️ Titus 2:7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.

This is THE TRUTH !! This is all we long for. What opens us up to be our full potential for you guys. 100% the truth.

As husband and wife it seems to me we are here to facilitate each other's lives, goals, dreams(one at a time) and to help shore up each other's weaknesses so that trust is enhanced rather than attacking, accusing or denigrating each other for even having human weaknesses.

Great job Ryan! We need more than ever REAL MEN. There’s an assault on the traditional family amd it’s going to take some real courage from real men to defeat these demons. We need to bring back masculinity to society. It’s not too late. Spread the word to all the men and let’s reclaim our masculinity.

Thank you for this. Learning to be the head of the house, after a rude awakening of my gf saying I’m not ready. She is right but this video really helped me open my eyes. I’m working on me everyday

Just today my 6-year-old banged his shin coming up the back steps. Yes, I said coming up the steps. LOL. He started crying and said is it bleeding and do I need a band-aid? And then I said well let's look at it is it bleeding? Do you need a Band-Aid? He said no it's not bleeding. No I don't need a band-aid. I then said I understand that it hurts. But, I will not hurt for long. Then I said you can either go inside and play with your toys or you can still hang out in the backyard with Dad and play outside which one do you want to do? He says I want to go inside and play with my toys. I said okay that's fine I love you. And that was the end of it.

There is a definite difference between serving someone from a place of genuine desire versus serving someone from a place of compulsion or because you/I believe we "must or have to". One carries with it a sense of right relationship with God and the world and the other carries with it a sense of doing tasks from a place of resentment and bitterness because if you don't you can be punished for non-compliance.

That was encouragingly far better advice than I was expecting. Thank you for busting my pessimism. 🤜🏻

She’ll only follow if she’s a good follower. If your wife tells you you’ll never be her number one man and she’ll never put you before her parents; she will never follow your lead.

Where a lot of people seem to find themselves in trouble is in the area of discerning an honest difference between a genuine desire to help someone and helping someone from a sense of being coerced or manipulated into helping others.

This guy makes the most compelling case for a bachelor lifestyle I've ever heard. Marriage sounds awful, even when you're both trying.

In a way, a relationship is all about negotiation. If both parties involved can establish their goals, frame them with respect of themselves and each other and ensure the building of trust, then I think every party will come out with a win/win situation.

Recently heard a podcast titled. Having Courageous conversations. Loved how they turned a “difficult” conversation to something uplifting and positive! Great podcast. Thanks for you’re wisdom

Husbands love your wife as Christ loved his Church that he laid his life down... Ryan don't know how you can eat that late unless I got the time wrong. Anyway I look to emulate the Golden mean I think its just a great beacon to shoot for, and it means that men serve. Above all you just got to love. What you do as a man has to stem from that love, and all the rest will follow. Doesn't mean violence isn't there but through all the points Ryan makes which were awesome they al go back to love. I think this was Ryans best post.

This has to be the BEST video about being a man to men. As a woman working hard to be the best version on of me and be a high value woman. looking for exactly what you share 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you nailed it!!

I became a masculine woman because my husband didn’t lead. We had 4 daughters. Being masculine and having to be the bread winner messed up my other potential relationships.😓 Then modern men degrade you because you’ve had to learn to survive in the world with children😳

I appreciate what Bob Dylan was trying to say in his song "You got serve somebody." Clearly humans were put on Earth to provide some value to the world as a manager of worldly resources and more personally, to act as a good servant-leader to our families for the express purpose of fostering their growth and helping them maximize there potential value and use to themselves, their neighborhood and/or the world.

You just changed/helped 3.4k ppl...I'm one of them....I needed to hear this

I cook dinner every night we eat at home and I do all the grocery store...I buy everything for the house even the ladies stuff but she works her ass off and takes care of the house and kids...

Been married for 30 years, what my wife has taught me is that I need to treat her like a queen . It ain’t easy but like my daughter told me last week “ it’s disgusting how much you two love each other” 😂

A very needed conversation. I felt like I should watch the whole video and I'm glad I did! The values are right on the money, and I'm looking forward to where this leads

No amount of counseling can even scrape the surface of what is discussed in this short video. God get me in this mindset and sacrifice my wants for her wants and for my family. I have to change my mindset towards my wife. Thank you.

Thank you for the awesome video Ryan! Many of us men need to be reminded of these things. Sometimes life gets complicated and overwhelming, but we need to be reminded of this mindset. Your perspective on this topic is spot on, especially comparing it to those influencers who do the things you said at the beginning of the video. I really appreciate all the points you made. It holds a ton of value to those of us who strive to be better men, fathers, and husbands.

Hey brother, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I'm currently separated praying and trying not to end up divorced - after 24 years of marriage. I see how I've had a huge part in getting us where we are, and a lot has to do with me not leading well as a servant-leader. What you've shared here is extremely valuable for all of us men to practice with our wives and in front of our children. Thank you for what you do.

I'm glad I came account this video. I struggle with the viewpoint of leadership, and how it should be executed. I hold a lot of resentment towards society in general to keep it short. As I'm the only male in the household I've been falling short of the expectation and responsibilities leadership demands. Thank you for posting this.

Love number 4, I think there is a large push, by some men, away from being a servant leader to your wife.

thank you for saying this , we need more leaders 😊 i totally agree

I'm learning this at 35yrs old. Fucken sad😤

Quite the conversation. Beautiful points raised. I love the part of going away and casting the vision. Maximizing time spent to build on the relationship instead of just going in holiday and being Idle with that time but using leisure and ease of mind to address the 5 points in a relaxed state in a sense. Appreciation big man.

There is no objective reason to remain married without God. Thank God it's a free invitation to submit to His ways above ours. God bless you all.

I love this. I came here because I'm haunted about living up to the kind of man my grandfather was. He was such a good and influential person about 3000 people attended his funeral. His wife and children refer to him as being nearly perfect and they say that just being his presence made them feel empowered to be better people. I suck with my wife no matter how hard I try and its driving me mad lol

Married for almost three years now and I can say it's not easy at all. There are times I wanted to call it quits, but I know quitting is not an option. Repeating the mistakes of my parents is not an option at all. Instead, I want to do something different. That is becoming the most effective leader that I can be in my home, business, work, and community. Thanks for this video!

Such a relief to hear this perspective, so many other channels are so “bro” centric….

Great comments...values and communication, prayer time are important and they should match from the beginning. Do not be unequally Yoked.

Finding that woman that understands her role is the hardest part that I have experienced. Still looking for one that gets it

Yess. I recently got my first girlfriend and i thought i knew everything about leading but i dont, i needed this and i completely agree and this solidified and expanded my knowledge. You effectively changed my life in a small way for the better!

I didn’t know what I expected to find by clicking this video but it feels like I’ve been led to water. Especially since I’ve gotten married this year, after securing my home my wife was like yeah you should invest in a hose for the back yard. (Which is mostly weeds & dirt) 😅 then I started thinking about ways a man has to manage a home and relationship, and now I’m here.

My wife has always followed my lead. So when I was a victim and a Beta she was mirroring that. I had to take responsibility for the relationship first.

I'm in the process of courting an extremely talented, gracious, and powerful lady. Being able to edify her all while leading the relationship may have gaps at first, but being transparent in my discussions has made it feasible for building her trust. Listening to your message, taking mental notes on the key points is telling me I'm on the right path. Thanks Ryan for your series "Order of Men"!!

Ryan, again… thank you!! I truly appreciate your insight

"The fact that we don't understand each other is not a bug but a feature" -- excellent quote! Masculine and feminine function differently and think differently.

I’m a lady and I appreciate your messages! I was raised with five men and six, including my father all manly men of course everyone has their own dysfunction, but more importantly, men that are strong, and I love my five brothers. Our father passed 91 and he was the man of all men!

She will follow and submit to your leadership if you’re worthy. And you’re “worthy” if you are lead by Christ.

Great Friday Field Notes! Loved your point about communication and upholding expectations in your relationship. I feel expectations in a relationship are what keep a bond between each other. Holding yourself and each other accountable on those expectations are what keep a relationship strong. Thanks for the video!

Excellent!!! Women must know and feel that she is safe within a man's strength and caring protection and confidence.

I tend to balk at a leader's mention or use of the word 'always' in a very human and broken world. To always be working at the attainment of some goal is to suggest that we can behave in super-human ways with no deleterious effects. And that is just not so. Yes, I do need to become a better version of myself but I would argue with Mr. Michler that I also need to regularly pause to reassess my goals, my path to those goals, and whether or not I am still acting with integrity and in ethical and moral ways that will support my continued growth long-term, and the growth of the people in my own circle of influence long-term? If I do fail to act consistently within a moral or ethical framework then I may attain a level of outward success but it's likely to be short-lived as it sends the wrong message-- namely, that short-cuts and quick-fix solutions can/should lead to lasting success.

This is encouraged me to stand up and get the work done

Thank you so much for all of the advice you put out I just stumbled onto this channel a couple days ago but every video iv watches has helped

When you can take on the trusting/faith-filled perspective or mindset that your spouse/partner does what s/he does (no matter what s/he does) from a place of genuine caring and love then you've taken a big step towards accepting him/her as s/he is and loving him/her unconditionally. And just so I am clear the learning process/journey towards loving unconditionally is life-long. You will never arrive, but that's not to say you shouldn't make the effort because it will be well worth it.

Preside, provide, protect. Family proclamation to the world. It’s like it’s prophetic or something.

Marry a woman who shows a gentle, submissive spirit. Don't mess this up as you only get one shot to get this right, Biblically.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

This is one of the most beautiful things about being. We're designed to embody and inhabit this place we're given. It takes guts, and then everything else plus a bit more. "A bit more" means to justly take care of those in our lives, and to do so in the way which ultimately and infinitely proves to oneself that God was not wrong for having made you. As in, you are here for those whom you have crazily chosen to love and respect the craziness of. And in turn those who love and respect you out of the right form of craziness will do it because it is you who is there to be what this crazy God has designed us to be.

I think the "power of a union or marriage" is to be found in the answers to issues or problems that are addressed as a team rather than 2 single individuals trying to come up with solutions individually with no input from either side of the gender divide.

this is such a refresher from the hookup/red pill genre of the "manosphere". Great message delivery, solid points. I happen to be dating a single mother of 2, and I've had my own unique hard time accepting that reality as a younger male. I really enjoy her and we serve each other in effective ways. She doesn't ask too heavily of me, but allows me to take part where I'd like to and similarly is happy that it can even be a reality. A lot may view it as cuckoldry or some sort of simp shit, but when you like someone and you want to invest, you accept baggage and difficult times, and taking the risk that things may someday end regardless you grant yourself the humility to understand you both can offer each other an immense amount for understanding and growth in the other party. As long as you do right by each other, openly communicate, and are well intended in the stakes of the relationship only positives can come from it! Thanks again i appreciate this video a lot

Ephesians 5:25: For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. Ecclesiastes 4:12: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Romans 13:8: Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

I’m so convicted by this. I don’t know how to move forward.

Wow, just separated a few months ago from the same exact description you are in, with my wife. Fortunately no child to hurt. I pray for you. It is certainly a lonely and struggling place to be. I begged GOD to change my wife and to change me. Sometimes, and I have found that most times, people don’t change. I feel for you and pray that GOD give you peace to draw the line that needs to be drawn for change and for a more peaceful and balanced life for you, your husband and your daughter. Blessings 🙏

This is also good advice for friendships.

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER SHALL BELIEVETH UNTO HIM SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE JOHN 3:16

Can you create an organization of male mentors for single mothers with sons? I'm married, but so many single friends who are struggling with this. If not you, then somebody needs to. Our boys are hurting and falling and not becoming their best selves. It's time for the greater tribe to step up and help our boys. So glad I found you. Thank you🙏❤️💪🔥

God bless !! back to the core of what matters

I agree with everything except the “to-do” list that she expects to have done. That’s different than communicating about household things that need to be taken care of.