I relapsed on drugs when my mom died. I spent all my money and almost ended up homeless. I didn’t care and wanted to die. Then I realized my mom would be SO mad. She gave everything to raise me and make me the person I am. She wouldn’t have wanted me overdosing and dying. Your grandma would want you to live and live healthy and happy. As someone who has struggled with not wanting to admit I need help, please please listen to everyone saying to get help. I sat beside my mother and held her hand while she took her last breath. That will never leave me. You do not want your loved ones to live through that. I don’t know if you will even read this with the amount of comments you get but, I hope at least one of these comments breaks through to you.

You actually haven't been gone. You are on tiktok all the time.

as someone who’s had pretty bad anorexia for around 7 years and as someone who’s… very worried about you right about now i just want to pour my heart out really quick. i know. i promise you, i swear on my life i know what it’s like. i know what it’s like to have a restrictive eating disorder completely consume every corner of your mind and every little detail of your life. i know what it’s like to be so deep into it you can’t see light from any angle you turn. i know what it’s like to genuinely, whole heartedly believe you will NEVER not have an eating disorder. i know what it’s like to feel like recovery is genuinely impossible for you. i know what it’s like to have a fear of food itself because you’ve trained your brain to think it’s evil. i know what it’s like to feel your stomach sink and your heart start beating fast when you have to walk through the isles of a grocery store. i know what it’s like to be absolutely petrified of the thought of gaining weight. i know the toxic euphoria that can come when you see the number go down or you stay under your calorie limit or you get a compliment on how thin you are. i know the fear of putting anything in your mouth cause you think you’ll gain 90 pounds from it. i could go on. i know i know i know. YOU. ARE NOT. ALONE. i KNOW you’re trying. and i know how scary it is and how physically and mentally hard it is to try. and i know you feel trapped behind bars. and i know this isn’t your fault. i want YOU to know that recovery is possible. i wish i could help you through it in person. i wish i could hold your hand through it all. let you fail and get back up. help you re-wire your mind like i had to re-wire mine. because recovery is possible. it IS possible for you to not have to live like this anymore i promise. i swear. i do think you’d have to get offline and stay offline though. because i know the fears of people who know you seeing a weight gain in you all too well. i had to literally stay out of sight from almost everyone i knew for a while when i was first recovering because i couldn’t have them see me after i’d gained weight or it would’ve triggered me. so please, if you need to, if you want to, get offline. runaway from all of this and find yourself without your eating disorder. because you ARE more than your eating disorder and it is possible for you to recover. so please, go for it, recover. you CAN do it i promise. we want you to. we’ve been here all these years and we’re still here now. you. can. do. this. you’ll have ups and downs and relapses but you have to keep pushing even when you fail, even when you don’t think you want to. i love you. even though i don’t know you in real life, i love you. you’re a person. you’re a good person, with a heart and beautiful smile and lovely personality. and you deserve to live freely and happily. like anyone else does. and i have love for you. i hope for the absolute best for you. -Love, Precious ♡

Honestly hearing your tone of voice throughout this video without the high-pitched moments, hearing your genuine voice. . . Your actual conversational voice. . . The real you. . . It's been missed. . . We miss you Eugenia. . . A lot. . . We love hearing about how you're doing, what you're going through. . . And in a more normal seriousish kinda way. . . Where it's you actually trying to talk to us rather than at us. . . Idk how to explain it without it probably being taken the wrong way. . . Anyways. . . I love you Eugenia. . . I am beyond sorry about your grandma. . . I lost my dad and my aunt in April and then my uncle in August. . . I know the pain and the hurt. . . Talk about it and never be afraid to talk about it. No one. . . NO ONE decides your grief or how long you grieve or talk about it. . . Don't let anyone tell you they 'already heard'. . . 🙄 you have absolutely every right to talk about her. . . Especially because a lot of times talking helps the process. . . I would love for you to have a storytime video telling us old stories about her and old memories. . . I think it would be beautiful 🥹💖

It's so wild to me that I started watching Eugenia when I was maybe 14. Since then, I've grown up and started a family and own a home, but Eugenia is exactly the same. *Edit* I think people are taking my comment the wrong way. I wasn't trying to say I'm more "successful" than Eugenia, she certainly has more wealth than me. I was simply marveling at how much my life has changed in these years and how she hasn't changed a bit.

All the experts have said that Eugenia would be the the ultimate success story if she recovered. Imagine all of the lives she could save. Imagine how much of a hero she could be.

I'm sorry for all of the things I've said in anger and frustration towards you. I hope you're okay Eugenia.

I came here from herbs and alters... as someone who has had to "choose" to live, I want to say that life is fucking hard and ultimately it's your choice to continue. You've been through so much for someone so young and I wish you love and peace whether that be in this life or the next. You deserve peace my lovely ❤

There is no time limit on grief... My mom passed in 2007 and i still grieve... my step son passed in 2017 and we still grieve... Don't ever let someone tell YOU how to grieve.

People really care about you , Eugenia. No matter what, there are people who understand without judgement. I hope you remember this ❤️

Losing someone is really hard. I’m sorry about your grandma. Whatever anyone says about how you “should” act while mourning don’t listen everyone deals with it differently. It’s beautiful to see you being authentically you despite the pressure that some people put on you to be constantly positive. Life is not always positive and it’s okay to not feel perfect all the time.

I also just have to point out how incredible it is that after all the hate you get, all the negative videos people have made about you, you have never once gone after a single person in any kind of mean or negative way. Never. That is insane. Even the nicest of people would have lost it at some point and attacked the attacker. That genuinely speaks to how kind a person you really are with such a great heart.❤ That speaks volumes about the kind of person you really are. Much💗

I owe you an apology Eugenia. I’m sorry I’ve been unkind to you. I thought I was giving you tough love and I hoped that would help you. But I went too far and vented my fear and frustration at you. I’m so sorry. Sending you loads of love.❤

You don’t have to apologize for talking about your grandma, talk about her as much as you feel ❤

I have been in similar shoes just different feet. Confined to the bedroom, no person filling the jigsaw puzzle, words falling not on deaf ears but muffled ones, feeling in a crowded room, tight and alone. I’ve been in your shoes, just different feet, not a single thing people said spoke to how I feel, wanting control of anything because I truly felt I had control of nothing, and when you find you have no control you will make a table where you do, even if it hurts you. The silver jagged, the table uneven and moving; but at least it was mine and I had control. I have been in your shoes, but different feet. I’ve been locked away praying for the escape, only thinking of scenarios with this freedom, how much it would feel so good, only to repeat history except now I’m afraid of locked doors instead of open ones. Sure, they’d let me in and maybe it’d even help for a while. But to be stuck in a facility is scarier sometimes then stuck in pain, because at least the pain is expected, being hospitalized always ends different. New problems emerge and I find more ways I don’t have control all over again. I have been in your shoes, but different feet. And I finally bought new shoes. I may not drive, but I have friends now who give me rides, and they openly tell me they don’t get it but god will they listen. My new shoes have nice installs, I’m more comfortable now and I can walk to work with a smile, because now I get control over money. I don’t go online anymore in these shoes, and if I do I don’t really care what people think. I do it for me. These new shoes are so strong I haven’t been locked up in a while, I have a therapist who checks out the old ones only to show me what was wrong, and to compare to my new ones. Our eyes pop out because we don’t get how my feet weren’t torn to shreds. I am in crowds sometimes still, but I never feel alone anymore, and not bc I’ve bonded with the people in the crowd, but because I can finally see as long as I’m with myself I’m not alone. I don’t hate myself anymore to the point I’d do anything to hurt me & control me & control the world around me. I got rid of those shoes, and esp the people who let me wear them so long. I got rid of anyone who tried to take the shine out of my new shoes. And I finally feel capable. All I’m saying is, it’s possible to change. Time isn’t always on our side. Sometimes the only way to get control is to admit out loud you never had it begin with. I sit at tables with friends now. I threw out everything I knew. You are worth saving. You are worth a new pair of shoes. Shoes isn’t shoes though. It’s life. You’re worthy of a new life. And it’s scary, so scary. But time isn’t promised always. But you can always begin to put on a brand new pair of shoes.

Dorian from Herbs and Alters did a video about Eugenia that all the hater trolls ahould watch. Kindness and compassion is what Eugenia needs. ❤

Hi Eugenia, I came here from OfHerbsandAlters’ video about you and I wanted to let you know you are loved. I hope you’re able to find peace whether that’s online or offline. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you’re able to heal with time. I really hope you do something that makes you happy at least once a day. It’s ok to be “selfish” and put yourself first. You’re incredibly talented and I can tell doing your makeup soothes you in some way. Anyways, all love 🤍

You can grieve however you feel ❤ you don’t have to apologize for how you grieve. From talking about her to being sad and even doing things that make you happy :) I’m sure your grandma would be happy to see you doing things that make you happy rather than sitting around and getting sad. I don’t think you’re just trying to get attention, you’re just explaining yourself :) Take care and you’re so talented!

It's time for compassion or silence.

I’m sorry people have made support for you so conditional. I’m reading comments that say, “remember when you were getting better and had support and everyone was on your side? You could have that all again if you do what we want you to do.” That’s what they’re really saying. We shouldn’t be withholding support from anyone, especially not someone so sweet and kind and vulnerable, someone who happens to be in great need of support, just because they’re not getting better on our timeline. If we care about people, we have to be willing to be supportive and at the very least kind and respectful even if we think that person isn’t doing what we want them to do when we want them to do it. Because first of all, we don’t even know if Eugenia is taking steps to get help for her disorder guys. We don’t know really know what goes on behind the scenes. She could very well be working on getting treatment or she could be in some type of treatment that we aren’t aware of. But more importantly, it doesn’t really matter if she’s getting treatment behind the scenes or working on it or not when it comes to how we decide to treat her. If we think she’s in as much danger as we think she is, why not extend kindness to her? Like it’s gotta be scary to be as sick as she is and extremely isolating to have people tearing you apart for it. We could try helping her by just being kind to her. It would make a world of a difference. No one can make anyone do something they’re not ready to do. And eating disorders are addictions and they are diseases. And when an addict is not ready to get sober, it doesn’t matter how many times you throw them in a rehab, until they want to get better they won’t stay sober. That’s just how diseases of this nature work. It obviously isn’t doing any good to bully this poor girl and idk why anyone would’ve ever thought that was a good idea in the first place. I guess bullies don’t care if it’s a bad idea tho, because they’re bullies. They’re just mean because they’re mad about their own lives. And for those who think “tough love” is the way to get someone to make a change, that clearly doesn’t work and why would we want to risk saying something mean or hurtful to someone who is in such fragile health. You will regret that someday even if you don’t now. Stop being mean to the girl. She’s very sick. She really needs help and love and kind words and support. She needs people to say positive, hopeful words to her, not cruel, mean-spirited comments from people in your online community. If at the very least we take one burden off of her by getting rid of the cruelty and over-analyzing of her every move, this woman will have so much room to breathe, that she might very well choose to get herself help because she has thousands and thousands of people giving her love and kind words, reminding her of why she is worthy of seeking help. If you notice how apologetic she is constantly, well it seems to be a severe anorexic thing, but it’s also a thing that people with extremely low self esteem or self worth do, people that have been bullied or traumatized so much that they apologize for their existence. It’s heartbreaking to watch, and I think has so much to do with all of the negativity she receives. She is constantly anticipating what someone could rip apart and have a problem with, as she’s speaking and apologizing before she can even finish her sentence. It’s painful to watch and we should try to make her feel more comfortable and more safe to be herself and speak more openly and not over-analyze every little thing she says and does. She’s internalized it so much and it’s only fueling her eating disorder. All of the negativity does that. And that’s all it does. It fuels this woman’s illness and that is not okay. She deserves respect just as much as someone who is not struggling publicly, and I think she is strong and brave for staying online in the face of so much scrutiny about her looks and disorder. I couldn’t do it. I don’t think that many could. Luckily she’s still here and we can try to change the narrative and give her an outpouring of love. It might even lead her to make the change we all want her to make and to get real help. And even if it doesn’t, it will lead to her being happier and in turn, that much healthier, and that much more whole, and everyone deserves that. It’s the least we owe her. Some peace. She’s so sweet to her viewers and has given us years of fun and creative content. She’s a cool person and has contributed so much to the KZfaq community. Let’s focus on that stuff and send her good wishes guys. This is serious and we should be kind, or just not say anything at all.

I weighed barely 40kg at my lowest. I was miserable, isolated, frail, sick, weak. I haven’t weighed myself in years because I don’t care to anymore. I went up a few clothes sizes, but I am full of energy and my skin glows again. Recovery is so much more rewarding than giving up ❤️

All these clickbait titles and it’s really just her doing her makeup for more views……..

I dunno about Jeffree Star being an amazing person...? But if you love his makeup im glad it makes you happy.❤ Experiencing a death of a loved one is never easy, and you are more than entitled to handle it and speak about it in any way you want. Don't listen to anyone who tells you you've been grieving too long, its absolutely no one else's business but your own.❤ Maybe having a holiday or doing something you've always wanted to do would be a great idea. Its times like this that you think about how short life really is, and the most important thing is to live a life that gives you the greatest joy. You're such a kind soul, i truly wish you the best.💗

Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandma, I'm still sad about losing mine years ago, because she was such am amazing presence in my life. Take your time grieving, it's different for everyone and your feelings are natural.

Honey, people are rooting for you. People understand what you're going through - what you've dealt with. Not the people in the comments demonizing you, fetishizing you. I think you are amazing, I think you are so resilient. You are still here, and I'm so proud of you. Eugenia, you are worth it. It is worth it to stick around. I wish I could hug you, tell you everything will be okay. I hope you spend some time doing the things you love, that have no fear involved.

It’s not uncommon to have a “delayed” burial or memorial- someone’s passing is personal to you because grief is personal. Others that have gone through that should understand and those who don’t should get some empathy. Take care. ❤❤❤

Eugenia, please please please get help. You seem like such a beautiful and lively person and the world isn’t ready to loose you. We want you here, healthy and happy.

I'm truly sorry to hear of the passing of your grandmother. Losing someone so close to you is a difficult thing. Sending healing vibes to you & your family.

The Selena video is terrifying. Please get help.

Hi Eugenia, I hope this reaches you. I just wanted you to know that you have a beautiful heart and a beautiful soul. I’ll admit, I first started watching your content out of curiosity. Your name has generated a lot of buzz through the years. But, I stayed around because of who you are as a person. I love how excited you get, even if it’s something as simple as an oil diffuser. You have a way of making things seem more magical. It’s refreshing to see things as you see them. You’re kind. You’re so, so kind. This world can be dark. I know you’ve experienced cruelty. But, you’ve never spread that darkness. You don’t push it on to other people. You’re a light, Eugenia. You’re a light that I, sincerely, hope continues to shine. Although, I understand if this world is too much. As Dorian from Of Herbs and Altars stated today, I hope you can put down the camera, travel, and see the places you always wanted to visit. There’s a whole world out there waiting to meet you, Eugenia - and I’m not talking about the people. Take care of yourself (as best you can). Be gentle and kind to yourself, Eugenia. You do this for everyone else. Don’t forget to do it for yourself. Go on an adventure! Much love to you, Eugenia. There are so many out here rooting for you! 🩷🌸✨

Hi Eugenia! I just wanted to send love your way. Grief is never an easy thing to go through and I appreciate and respect the time you put in to make these videos even when you're going through something that hard. I remember when my Grandma passed a few years ago and it hit me so hard I still can't really put it into words. We're here to support you - take as much time as you need! We love you 💕

Just came from Of Herbs and Alters channel and if you havent i implore you to watch her video. Both you Eugenia and her fans and haters. Its a video of deep empathy and i think it touches the heart of this situation. I wish you the best Eugenia and hope you make the most of your time left on earth however long it may be. I would implore you to take the advice herbs and alters offered and get offline and just do whatever is left on your bucket list. I hate to be morbid but this is just the reality things. Take care Eugenia ❤

I lost my grandma in 2020. It still hurts. I'm wearing one of her rings today. Grief isn't linear. One thing I have learned in my ED treatment and CPTSD therapy is not to "should on myself" so allow yourself to be a human. If you're feeling sad, that's normal. Try not to feel like you need to be "on" all the time. Easier said than done. Love to you.

I'm so sorry about your grandma Eugenia, I lost mine over the pandemic and grief is NOT easy. Sending you so much love.

If it makes you feel less alone in your grief, my Grandma was my best friend and she passed in Dec 2022. She was cremated but we had a burial for her ashes on Sep 9, 2023. People are weird for attacking you burying your grandma later than what’s considered “tradition”. Many cultures do many different things, hell I think some folks have funerals that last multiple days or even a week. Regardless, grief and the process involving after-death care are complicated. Everyone experiences it differently and there’s no singular “right” way to handle it, don’t listen to the people criticizing your expression of emotion, or lack thereof, or anything regarding your grandma’s death. These things take time and you gotta have a lot of patience with yourself because the wound will reopen at least once after you think you’ve healed. Give yourself grace and be gentle with your heart during this time, I’m sending all of my love and as many hugs as I can virtually give 💖

As a jack skellington fan myself, I feel the need to inform you of some movie trivia you probably already know. Have you seen the princess bride? It's one of my favorite movies. Anyways, the guy who plays the worst character, prince Humperdinck? Also Jack. Idk how that happened. Good range of acting I suppose. I hope you get a chance to see the princess bride!! It's got Carey Elwis, Robin Wright, Billy Crystal, Mandy Patinkin, and Andre the Giant. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. Keep talking about her.

Everyone grieves in their own way. The coming to terms of losing someone you love, takes time. This needs to be done at your own pace. Not something to be rushed. Egenia, your Grandmother was lovely, may you fill the space she left behind with happy memories.

This was truly the FIRST TIME I SEEN YOU. THE REAL YOU. I LOVE YOU!!!! THE REAL YOU!!! YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! BE A HERO AND GET BETTER BABY DOLL! FOR GRANDMA!!! PRAY FOR EUGENIA !!!

Hey Eugenia, I’d just like to take a moment to tell you how much of a difference you made for me. I’m going to be 20 in a few weeks and I’ve watched you every since I was little. I always loved to watch you because of how whimsical and sweet you are. Not to mention emotional intelligence and smart. You have made me think about my mental health and given me joy in life. I love your TikToks. Honestly you have saved me from a lot of pain that you have went through. Ever since I was 13 I was on the verge of developing anorexia. Yet when I saw how you struggled everyday because of your starvation I got myself help. I’m so sorry for all that you have went through. I cannot even imagine how hard it must have all has been. You don’t have to keep pushing yourself to be online. You have done so much already for everyone. I cannot ever repay you for preventing me from becoming sick. You deserve to have the rest of your life to relax and enjoy. You deserve happiness and to relax. I’ve almost died because of my mental health and been on my deathbed from depression. It’s a horrible experience I would not wish on anyone. If you’re to mentally sick to go on and can’t get help I understand and wish you well. I’m not going to tell you what to do because I do understand your situation as I have serious chronic depression. It’s ok. If you do want to fight there are programs to help you but not take away all your autonomy. Do what you feel is best. Just know I and many others are thankful we got to see you.

Have been following you silently for so many years now i can’t keep count. You are incredibly kind, funny, and intelligent in the way you navigate your life on and offline. Watching this video of you doing your makeup, the only thing going through my mind (genuinely) was how pretty you are. You aren’t stupid , you know why all of these kind comments are coming through out of nowhere. Do not think that they are suddenly out of pity or a last ditch effort for people to feel better about themselves. I know for myself and many others, this is what I have always thought, but never allotted time to say. You never know how much time you have left with ANYONE. Your mental struggles have unfortunately been exploited by everyone. You have been treated horribly by the world and it is clear you are tired. However you choose to live the rest of your life is up to you, just as your life up to now has been. The internet had no place to tell you any different. I hope you are doing whatever you love, and i believe that you ARE through KZfaq , meeting people on TikTok, and fashion. Eugenia, the world needs more people like you. You are kind and honest and have never let people stop you from living in the world in the only way that you could. I will always hope for someone like you in my corner, and as long as you are around in the world and in the public eye, i will always hope for your happiness as well.

My grandparents died 20 plus years ago. I still miss them and love to remember them. There is no time limit on grief. Please do what you feel is right for you, always.

you’re a beautiful soul, eugenia. countless people love you and see how kind and strong you are. you deserve a happy life

The best thing that you can do to honor your Grandma, is fight to stay alive. You can not keep going like this. You are such a beautiful young lady inside and out. Please stay alive 🥰

its hard when someone close dies ;( I feel better after watching tons of near death stories haha. Anyway, stay strong girl❤

Burying your grandma with her husband on their anniversary was the most beautiful thing! I am so sorry for your and your families loss. Sending love! Especially to your mom! No matter your age it’s always hard to lose a parent! 🖤🖤

Eugenia…I'm so sorry this illness has you in such a chokehold. I'm sorry your family doesn't do more to help you get better. You deserved so much more than this life has given you. Praying for you. You deserve love and happiness. You deserve to have people in your life that care about you. You deserve and need help. You deserve all good things in life and to EXPERIENCE IT!! We care & we are with you. I hope you recover and I hope you can share your journey someday with us. We would love that for you. Trust me!

We care about you Eugenia❤ I’m sorry for your loss and I hope talking about it helped you. You’ve been so kind on the internet for years and you’re such a sweet soul. Sending you lots of love and light ❤❤

my grandma left 21 years ago and I still cry. im sorry you feel like you can't express that hurt. love you

Girl you haven’t been on here cause you’ve been on TikTok every damn day. It’s really not deeper than that

I'm truly sorry about your loss. I wish you could see how sad everyone would be if they lost you. Please take care of your body at least as much as your skin.

I want you to know that you've been beautiful inside and out since birth . You've never had to be anyone but you to be loved and liked by the whole world . I truly wish you all the best Eugenia and whatever you choose to do... thank you for the kindness you've shown others throughout your life❤

Grieving comes in waves you take as long as you need! I cried a year after my grandmother passed on Christmas cus I got some of her things and all the memories came flooding back. 😭

Sponsored by Jeffrey Star….

Like so many others, I came from Of Herbs and Altars' video and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. When I was younger I tried to tough love someone out of suicide, and while by strategy had worked, my words to them destroyed our friendship. I was a child and stupid, and since I've learned that tough love and harsh words don't snap people out of their dark place, it pushes them into a different place, but not for the better. You are a talented individual, a kind soul and you deserve to beat the demons of your past away and live a life of happiness and love and light. I have no right to plead for you to get better, I have no right to tell you what to do, but I will be here silently hoping for the best. To see you be that brilliant dark star that you are and surpass everyone's expectations - to shock us and amaze as as you pull through. As you are right now, it looks impossible in my eyes. But I believe in miracles, I believe in destiny and fate, and I believe your story still has many pages left to tell... May happiness find you, no matter what happens 💕

an apology is due, I’ve been deterred from watching you because of what other people said, but this is the first full video I’ve ever watched by you. You’re funny and sweet, and I was definitely a total sheep. I’m sorry for your loss my grandfather passed away at that time too, and I really hope you have a wonderful life. I’ll definitely be watching closely ❤️

I lost my grandma last november, we were really close and it really affected my mental health, which is why the best advice I can give you is to just focus on your mental and physical health. Don't listen to rude people on the internet. You're so beautiful and so sweet, you deserve to live happy and healthy.

It’s ok to be sad about your grandma. She was a big part of your life xx Sending you hugs and kisses xx

You left to play on TikTok.

Grief can go on for years and years and years. It's okay to be sad for as long as you need to be sad, or angry, or confused, or whatever you need to feel

You don’t have to apologise for how you feel or behave as you grieve. It’s devastating to lose those we love the most and we all handle that differently. As others have said, it’s okay to be selfish. Your talent with makeup is incredible. I hope you can heal with time. Lots of love and support ❤

She's been on tik tok almost daily live taking "donations"/"gifts" tho.

Heey Geenie :) I don't know if you're gonna read this, but let me try... I just wanted to say, that you have so many people supporting you and caring about you. About you as a genuinly kind and good person. So many people are rooting for you, are thinking about you, sending you strength and love. Sometimes our brains can make us believe, we are alone or not worthy, or other bad things. But just let me tell you, If your brain is telling you that right now, your Brain is lying to you. I promise. You are worthy, your are loved, you are important, you are brave and the world is a better place with you in it. With all my love, sending you strength and positivity, Leena

How does your black make-up not stain under your eyes? What make up remover do you use and what concealer?

I’m just gonna say this now if this girl passes away all y’all in these comments being horrible saying nasty things about her are gonna have to wear that guilt on ur neck for the rest of ur life so please just try to be kind she’s obviously struggling and her grandma just died be gentle with this person please

Your grandma would've wanted you to recover

💚 It's nice to see you being open and honest Eugenia. One of the reasons I as a fan get frustrated with your content is that it seems like you put up this mask of "oh look how happy and perfect everything is" when you used to be a little sarcastic and sassy. Like when you got out of rehab you seemed more open and honest. I get there are things you don't want to talk abt but when you say things like "I don't know what you think you're seeing" or "sorry you feel that way" it really is a put off. Instead just be honest and say "this is something I don't want to talk abt". And please don't ever feel like you have to apologise for existing. Which is something you do a lot. It's OK to take up space. You don't have to constantly minimize yourself just to make everyone happy b/c even if you're the juiciest peach in the patch there will always be someone who doesn't like peaches. I hope one day you can be radically open a honest with your audience and tell us all how you really feel, why you turned to Ana for comfort to begin with and why you felt the need to put up a constant mask of "everything is fine" 💚

Wow that’s such an incredibly sweet and wonderful gift that your family was able to give your grandma by laying her to rest at her home with the love of her life ♥️ and on their 70th anniversary too. That’s amazing ♥️ sending you and your family lots of love. Can’t imagine how hard things have been for you. Keep your head up Eugenia 😊 xoxoxo

Losing someone is one of the HARDEST things to go through-hell, even trying to process it is beyond tough. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong way to handle it. It’s been four years since I lost my dad and I’m still struggling to sort through everything before I can even hope to get any type of closure. So take your own time….you’re allowed to feel sad, angry, happy, lonely, whatever you feel. You don’t ever have to apologize. Grief is so complicated.

She looks so old now.

You didn't leave though? I mean, you took a very quick hiatus right after your grandma died, but that was months ago. You've been posting non-stop on social media since then.

i beg you to seek help, i used to look like you eugenia around my lowest weight, when i looked like you my heart stopped, i was dead for just under a minute. thankfully i was already admitted to the hospital when i this happened. but i could have died, i would have if i'd not been there. i see so much of my old self in you and it hurts cus i know how hard it is. i still struggle, i will always struggle, but i refuse to let this kill me, i plead for you to get some help, im not fully recovered, you don't HAVE to fully recover before you're ready, but please just try to not die. i did die when i was around the same bmi. i was fortunate enough to be resuscitated, most aren't so. please. at least get a little bit out of the danger zone. please

I feel sorry that you feel like you need to apologize for talking about your grandma, because you really don’t. losing a loved one is very hard, it’s okay to talk about it as much as you want to for as long as you need to. there is no such thing as not getting over it soon enough. take all the time you need to mourn now and in the future.

the amount of times she says “soo yeah”..

As a 33 year old past goth with no makeup skills, I really love your creative choices and talent. You always have really cool makeup looks.

I'm sorry your grandmother passed away. I hope the happy memories you and your grandmother made together helps you through this difficult time. ❤

For some reason, the KZfaq algorithm popped up with OfHerbsAndAltars video. I’ve heard of you, and seen your videos before. I’m much older than you: I just turned 40. I never thought I’d make it here. I’ve had…lord, maybe 6 or 7 attempts to “opt out” of life? I started with disorder eating when I was 10, and SI around the same time, and was severely anorexic by the time I was in my mid 20’s. I was adopted into a severely abusive family, but my grandma? (My father’s stepmother) She was the only person I was close to. I loved her so much. My point? Grieve. Take time and mourn. And remember that she loved you as much as you love her, I’m sure. Value your future. You are so, so young. I spent my life saying I wouldn’t make it to ____ year, ____ age, but holy shit, I did. I have. I still struggle with mental illness, and a couple of genetic chronic autoimmune illnesses, and WOW is my life H A R D, but….and I never thought I’d say this, but…Eugenia, it’s worth it. It truly is. Life is a struggle. Life is hard. Life is full of bullshit, but it’s also full of these random spots of magic that will bring you to fucking tears and make you realize all the other shit was worth slugging through. I’m proud you’ve made it this far. You’ve accomplished so much. You can accomplish so much more, and you have a lot of people that do care, “parasocial” be damned, and fuck all the haters. People do have compassion and DO genuinely have empathy. Be you. Do you. Find all the things that bring you joy and embrace them. Find health. I promise you the future is worth it, even if you can’t see it now. I used to be just like you, and I’m so glad I struggled to turn off the voice. It’s still there, it’s still a struggle, and it always be, but that beautiful heart and soul I see inside you is way worth it. Hugs and light to you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Grandma. By the way, I lost mine ten years ago, a couple of weeks before my oldest daughter was stillborn, and still cry over her, so never apologize for your grief. Grief comes in waves, and that’s okay.

This video starts out being about Grandma but turned into a commercial about Jeffree Starr cosmetics.

This is just not genuine, and not it... if your family and yourself really need time to grieve, why are you also plugging your tiktok in this video and streaming there every day... This is just... weird. Odd. Not right. You actually have no shame anymore.

Eugenia, you are one of the most kindest people that I've came across the internet. I'm also one that came from the "OfHerbsAndAltars" video. You're make up skills are amazing and I love your sense of style. I'm sorry for the loss of your grandma... I've lost both of mine and it's really hard to grieve. I hope you can feel that you can take time to grieve and you don't need to apologize about the ways you need to help you feel better. We all love you, Eugenia. You're an inspiration, not only with your amazing personality but as well as your spirit. Please take your time and I hope you take your time whether its online or offline. You deserve amazing things. :) You're a sweet girl. ♥

People are stupid if they judge for length or ways you grieve. 4 years ago I lost my horse, for 3 days I even didn't make it out of bed, I had to use meds to calm down. I cried and cried, my heart and soul have died, long story short. I am still grieving, the pain is not sharp anyone but is present all the time, there is a hole in my heart but at least it's not bleeding anymore. So with that I wanted to say that you can grieve the way you grieve. And yeah, I also love Jeffree

With Eugenia’s channel recently being showcased on news networks because of the large amount of people calling for her channel to be taken down due to her parading/ glamorizing her ED, in my opinion this video is 100% deflection. She is changing the subject and at the same time eliciting sympathy. And.. she knows how her Selena short started the recent back lash.. so it was interesting when she called it “one of her best videos”

You didnt address what your extended family said to you at the burial. Im sure they were disturbed by your appearance.

I am sorry. For everything you had and have to go through. You are one of the strongest humans I have ever seen on the internet. Such a kind, yet broken soul. You are creative, talented and have a strong sense of humor. I am sorry if I ever was mean to you in the past 10 years. I rarely comment yet I still want you to know that I, and so many others here in the comments care so deeply and are sorry for ever hurting you. It came from a place of care and frustration, but it doesn't justify anything. You deserve the life you want and nothing but happiness. We love you.

My Grandma finished raising me after my mom died when I was sixteen. Then my Grandma passed right after I turned 18. It was hard then. It’s hard now. But it’s also healthy to talk about it. Don’t internalize what other people say to you. You are NOT the things people say about you. You’re a whole az person. You owe literally no one an explanation about how you grieve. Hope you find all the happiness in the world, sweet sister. Sending you so much love.

Guys, we're self-indulging in freak show by watching her videos. If we stopped watching, she would stop posting. Stop acting so self-righteous by pretending that you're watching her videos because you care about her. If you truly care about her, ignore her totally. She's nothing but a freak show to us. We, humans, love a good freak show...

I love when she talks about her feelings like a normal human and don’t try to act like everything is super, super cute. Life is precious, Eugenia. You deserve to be here for a long time, with energy and health!! ❤

My grandma passed away this year in May.. on my 30th birthday. It broke my heart. She was like my second mother.. my entire childhood she was there. Every second of every day. I miss her so much. She passed away at 80 years old. She had a full happy life. And now she feels no pain. Shes happy with jesus. But i still miss her, & talk to her often. *hugs* your so strong babes. ❤

I am still sad years later about my grandma passing. Sometimes I just cry randomly. Just live for your grandma, and make her proud, LIVE FOR HER. I say it to myself every day

Sending love. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been watching your videos for years. Please take care of yourself, I know hate speaks louder than support but know there are so many people who want you to be your happiest and healthiest self. So many people don’t understand how things must be for you, I can’t imagine the pressure the internet puts on you. Never feel bad for taking time off- go do something nice for yourself, you deserve it.

You've not been gone. You've been on Tik Tok. Praying for you to take control. Good luck.

Grief is a process, and there's no timeline on when to expect to be okay with a loved one passing.

I pop in to see how you are doing periodically. My heart goes out to you and I pray that you will be able to heal. No judgement from me, just a genuine desire to see you getting better. Seeing your struggle breaks my heart and I really hope you are able to get the love and professional support you need to get better.

My PopPop passed 12 years ago. It was horrible. He treated me like his daughter. I was 17. I am now 29 and still think of how life would be if he was still with us. There's no time limit for the pain of losing a loved one. It gets wasier, but it never fully goes away.

I'm sorry for the loss of your grandma, sweetheart. There is no rule on how much time you should be sad or not sad for. Everyone grieves differently! ❤

it's really lovely to hear you talk about your grandma passing actually. I know it's sad and hard to talk about but it's nice to know more about you and your life. it feels nice to connect with you in a sense haha. my nan passed about two years ago now and I love her so much. it still upsets me that she's gone. I still think about her a lot. I miss her so much but I'm glad she's no longer in pain. It's okay to get emotional and to grieve, allow yourself to relax and process this. I didn't allow myself to cry until the funeral of my nan and I was a MESS. I blocked the emotions out and then at the funeral the emotions all came up. i was sobbing. I still cry sometimes because I wish i had more time with her. love you nan

I lost my grandmother 5 years ago and I loved her more than anything. The grief never really goes away but eventually you remember her and instead of crying you smile. Please keep trying and fighting, you're a beautiful person inside and out. Do what makes you happy.

I feel achy and exhausted seeing her like this. I couldn't imagine how the pain one's body and mind would be going through. Just by living an age regressed, money hungry shallow life, inside 4 pink walls, sitting in front of a camera for the world to view your deterioration.... all for disillusioned validation.

It’s sad that she has to defend her grief…… people can be horrible at times.

Eugenia, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, just as there is no timeline for grief. You feel what you feel, and that's all there is to it. You do you - you know yourself best, and however you choose to deal with your grief is your decision, and yours alone. I hope you are able to remember the good times with your Grandmother with fondness, and wish you peace and love in your life.

deepest condolences, my grandma was my best friend in the whole world...much love to and from heaven