I’m an old man now, but when I was young I was always told to be nice to women - to go above and beyond to make them feel valued, cared for, and appreciated. All that brought was a lot of heartbreak. I eventually got married to an “adult infant” (as Jordan would refer to her) and ended up losing about $300k and equal access to my son in the process. I was and continue to be terribly abused, but that doesn’t matter because I’m a man. The lesson learned? Don’t ever be a “nice guy”. Instead, be kind and always focus on becoming the best version of yourself while being considerate of others’ needs (I.e., don’t place the needs of others above your own). Never, ever chase women. Chase your dreams and women will naturally come to you because of your confidence and success. Then the trick becomes how to screen out those who want you for the wrong reasons (and that will be most of them). For you younger guys, once you understand that you have little-to-no inherent value as a man, and that what really matters instead is what you provide, life will make much more sense to you.

Schrödinger's feminism: a woman is simultaneously a victim and empowered, until something happens. Then she chooses which state benefits her the most...

I'm retiring next month. And I'm a bit nervous about how to keep up with my kids.

I remember watching a documentary on the Night Stalker who was a serial killer. He had a ton of women sending him marriage requests and falling for him, this and that. A nurse working in the same prison at that time called them, and I quote "The dumbest bitches I ever met in my life."

I liked how he pointed out the important detail that it's mostly young (and therefore inexperienced) women that fall for the badboys.

I became the nice guy in my marriage. I began to cook, clean and care for our children more than she did. This was on top of me working 50-60 hours a week. Because of this, I let myself go, lost myself and became completely codependent on her for love and attention. Eventually she lost interest in me, cheated and nuked the family. She basically didn't love or respect me for it. It's been bittersweet; I lost my family and the years I invested. However, glad to not be dealing with such a condescending and selfish woman anymore.

As an indigenous Egyptian woman who grew up in an isolated area in the deep south of Egypt, I have never seen, met or heard of ONE female around me who tolerated a ''bad boy' let alone fell for him. It's a Western phenomenon among Western women and those who uphold their values. I have been living in the UK for twenty years and it is still a cultural shock for me. Although I have seen similar pattern among affluent Egyptian women in large cities, and Egyptian girls from broken homes or with unavailable fathers.

Every woman that I have known that was attracted to bad boys has had an unhappy life.

I once had a friend who had the bad habit of occasionally and unguardedly dropping rarely-heard truth bombs. She once said, "Listen: the qualities that make for a good husband and father are not exciting to date." It was fascinating to overlay that statement with this discussion.

The standards for "bad boys" have fallen greatly to "methhead/drug dealer that does donuts in Wal-Mart parking lots" so don't feel bad for not scoring women with these incredible standards.

As a woman that fell for a narcissist I want to say that the only reason I was attracted to this type of person was the reason that I had not been aware of my codependency issues and that I was not used to be treated with respect. Once I overcame those issues there is nothing I find attractive about those ppl anymore.

Im just a 23 yo kid compared to u guys but im amazed of yall for the sharing so no one would get murdered like what ya ve been through Really appreciate that

I very much enjoy when Dr Peterson speaks to someone in his own field. He's so good at explaining his wealth of knowledge in simple terms, it's staggering to hear complex psychological matters discussed with an equal mind, while still being relatable. We live in such a blessed time to have access to these discussions.

Gaston wasn't only just a narcissist in Beauty and the Beast. He had a lot of other traits that were beneficial. He also had a large portion of the village encouraging his behavior and giving him further ammunition to act the way he was. Most of the women were swooing over him and he had a lot of friends. I understand that he's considered the antagonist of the story but It's not like he was completely delusional of his behavior. A lot of the people seemed to really like him. Even if he was an asshole. If you want a bully to stop behaving in a certain way, then don't encourage them. Seemed like a lot of people in the story were culpable in making Gaston the way he was.

Be nice to those who are nice to you but take no shit from anyone. Respect is a two way communication and is NOT to be compromised. Being nice can get you walked all over. Being tough will earn you respect and status. You just need to learn when to use either. Mature women are far better at differentiating the great guys from the idiots!

I have pondered why some women seem to be drawn to abusive partners (bad boys)and the one thing that stood out to me is that being abusive can be mistaken for being strong. The abusive partner makes them feel safe on some primal level. If someone has the potential to be violent towards a partner, there is also the potential that they would be violent in protection of their possessions (the female), their property and their children (if any). It's not that being a nice man is not a good thing, it just doesn't feel like a safe thing.

From a young age I was attracted to the brooding, bad boy type. I also realized, however, that I had an angry, abusive father. I'm not claiming any deep introspection at 14, but I did know I wanted a secure, loving marriage in my future, and I would need to find a partner who would be the opposite of my father. I continued to have many crushes on badboy types in my adolescent years, but refused to date. I didn't see the probability or value of engaging in that behaviour as a teenager. I met my now husband at 22. We've been together for almost 10 years. He's the same height as me, and his frame is smaller. Don't get me wrong, physically I find him extremely attractive. But what I love the most is that he has a big brain and a big heart. When he walks into a room, people smile. He's respected by all his coworkers and employers. He listens to people. He loves people. He's honest and owns up to his mistakes. I'm not dunking on other people who went down a different path than me. But I am grateful I resisted the immediate gratification of passion. Passion simulates an aspect of authentic love, which I eventually found when I met my husband.

When I was a 'nice guy' I never had women chase me instead I was the one going to them. It wasn't until I began working on a career through higher education while also working out, essentially bettering myself, that I found women approaching me. It was strange at first but once I realized success and real confidence that you could back up was the true attraction, my life was changed. Be good or even great instead of nice, and don't be a 'bad boy' because that is just a phase for women not something long-term.

I love how Jordan Peterson is probably always the smartest in the room but is humble enough to try and learn from other great minds, that's why he's the best.

Even as a young teenager I could clearly see that the female sex was wired for attraction to bad boys . Of course , this perception flew right in the face of society's and woman general claims . However , what I constantly witnessed was , simply , undeniable . I was completely amazed that others and in particular my peers could not see the obvious contradiction between what society and women claimed and what the actual behaviour was right before our eyes . I wasn't a bad boy in the worst sense but I was highly individualistic , so I guess that I was a rebel by conventional standards . I thought as I wished , spoke as I wished , dressed as I wished , etc. .Though , I was not hostile or disrespectful to others , I always chose my own path . I can't tell you just how many of my male friends were dumped by women because they were either really nice guys or were trying to conform to the image of what a nice guy was that was becoming very popular at the time . They just couldn't understand why they were losing at the dating / relationship game . It caused them a lot of heartache and grief . I kept telling them that it was because they were too nice or trying to be too nice and that for some bizarre reason women were attracted to bad boys .Years later , I heard one comedian who had had the same 'nice guy ' experience in his youth refer to them as his ' James Taylor Years ' . In any event , the whole nice guy thing just wasn't yielding the desired effects that it was supposed to . Back then the only real conclusion I could draw for womens' propensity to be attracted to bad boys was that the bad boys were a device that they employed to establish their own identity separate from that their bestowed upon them by their parents , a genuine sexual curiosity , a general curiosity , a predilection for drama , status in the community of their peers and a sense of protection in a world which could be dangerous at times . It would appear , that women only shake their attraction to bad boys when they have reached their 40s or 50s . Lacking the energy of youth and having had numerous bad experiences with bad boys they seem to begin to accept that they must settle for a more quiet , less exciting but stable life that is far more possible with a nice guy . It won't be thrilling but it will be comfortable .

The most important thing to me that Peterson pushes is that we ignore our instictive biological/psychological imperatives at our peril. There are forces in our culture that are trying to redefine some of those instincts out of existence instead of contextualizing them into civilization. In the process they are pitting our human need to belong against our biological/psychological nature. It's no wonder that depression, addiction, and suicide is running rampant. How else to cope with being at war with one's self? The only ones more or less free of that conflict will be the rebels and antisocial sorts whose instinct is to see the whole thing burned to the ground. The way our culture "tries to redefine our instincts out of existence" is by recontextualizing certain instinctive impulses as moral character flaws/defects rather than instincts that need civilization grafted over them in the service of mutual utility and benefit. It's the misplaced moralizing that sets up the inner war resulting in endemic depression, addiction, and suicide or at the other end of the continuum destructive rebellion. And it's the misplaced moralizing that makes self-respect impossible in the face of self-judgment for what are actually just natural instincts and attributes that need intelligent modulation and productive redirection.

Hi Dr. Peterson, you might not read this as this will probably get drowned in this sea of comments, but I just wanna share to you that I recently became a fan of yours. I discovered you through youtube shorts. I'm a teenager girl, Muslim, living in a small city in the Philippines. I discovered that you have a book called 12 Rules for Life, so I saved my money despite being jobless😂, ordered your book online and waited patiently for about 10 days. I'm not a bookish person, and your book was the first ever book I've ever purchased in my whole life so far. The excitement that I felt while waiting was comparable to that of a 7 year old waiting for her ultimate birthday gift. I'm currently reading it, and I've been enjoying it so far because I'm learning a lot. Thank you Dr. Peterson, after watching your videos on YT, I've become so much more motivated to pursue the career that I want. I really hope my message reaches you. :') ❤️

I know a girl who use to like bad guys when she was a teen. She said that she had an absent dad in her life, so she tried to get that protection from these crazy men that she use to date. She feels like someone was finally protecting her.

I have listened to alot of Jordan Peterson talking, I am amazed by the thinking around a subject both positive and negative, and how the positive way is beneficial, and how it will affect you and the world at large. The absolute brilliance to explain in depth, showing passion, truth, and why adaptations in truth is beneficial.

I absolutely love how Dr Peterson separates the video into subtopics. This gives us the benefit of optimizing our time by allowing us to match subtopics to maximum interest level.

Lift weights, eat clean, save money & find a groom/style that works well on you. A man optimizes his attractiveness by getting his life in order and being physically fit.

Excellent interview! Great host, great guest.

A lot of people misunderstand this situation. The one who can walk away is the one who always wins in any relationship. It doesn’t matter how they feel about it, all that matters is they can or could. Always be the guy who could, then she chases you. A bad boy is just a mildly indifferent man, it’s the old version of a man who placed all of his love outside his woman but still cared enough to balance. Like in ages of old, a man saying his love was the sea or his ambition but while still having a wife and a woman. That is what you need to do, find your muse to put your dedication there and don’t give it all to her. Otherwise you end up as a lapdog which is what a nice guy is. A lapdog.

Narcissism looks like confidence. Psychopathy looks like an integrated shadow. Machiavellianism looks like strategic planning. *Girls don't want "bad boys", they want useful men*

Your childhood trauma can turn into sexual attraction. If you're raised by parents who's neglectful you might be attracted to narcissists

I have been realizing and learning these facts of life since I was a child...Jordan said what ever I had in my mind..

Always ignore what a woman says she likes/wants, pay attention to who she dates.

The interesting thing is, in my experience some of the kindest, most gentile men I've known were extremely capable killers. My Great Grandfather was such a kind man but from some stories I heard about him second hand he killed a lot of men in the Pacific theater of WWII. Many of my leaders through my time in the Marine Corps were the same, extremely kind men but with a history of extreme violence. I've always been confused by the fact that by and large these are not the sort of men who are particularly successful with women, they're basically the polar opposite of "bad boys". They're extremely agreeable, conscientious, and slow to anger but when put in a situation where violence is the only option they're utterly terrifying.

1.Would your partner stay with you if you ended up disabled? Or during times of poverty or if you get physically or mentally hurt? Would he/ she work to provide & take care of you? 2.even If not having kids, think of this: would you like your children to Be just like your partner? 3. Now, would you?

I'm a 45 year old retired nice guy, now finally decided to focus on my career, kids and ageing parents, catching up with old pals, doing something (that gives me pleasure) I didn't do for long because I was too busy making someone else's dream true. It was a tough decision (to set me free), but eventually I did and now I feel I should have done it long ago. It is one life, we must focus on doing the right thing without focusing too much on its consequences.

May be an unrelated point but if you don't go after the girl then you will almost always end up with someone who you had a chance of saying no to, you had a choice. If you desire someone and are overwhelmingly attracted to them then you will not give yourself that choice, and therefore there will be more staying power in the relationship in the case of how attracted you are to them. Far too many people end up in relationships because they are approached and say 'fuck it', how fucking crazy is that?

As women age and "get more experience" are they better at selecting mates without the dark triad, or are they less capable of securing them in competition with younger, more attractive women?

I was always attracted to bad boys. My father was a bad boy, abusive mentally, emotionaly, physicaly and sexually. I loved my father, he was the authority figure and I wanted to please him so that he would love me. He also had some very good characteristics that I admired. I did not remember or recognized his bad qualities. He left when I was 11 years old and I was once again sexually abused by family friend. I never felt worthy of a nice guy and could not connect to them. I believed that men would love me if I pleased them. I kept a very innocent child like part of myself throughout my adult hood. I think it kind of becomes like Stockholm syndrome for some women. I could not accept that people are bad and that there are people in the world that really want to hurt you intentionally and yet at the same time was in great fear of them.

Respect to David Buss for bringing up World Of Warcraft! ps. Jordan: This is a very important topic to bring up and you fought it well as always. Thanks for informing the world to be more aware of what is happening around them.

I find exception only with the conclusion of the motivation behind the person's change in selection strategy as she gets older and "wiser" . Or that there is more to it than that at least. Great discussion, thank you.

I have to watch this one because I've never understood it, myself. It's like Jeff Foxworthy said, you go for "bad boys" in real life and all you'll get for it is being on an episode of Cops, in a tube-top, yelling out a trailer window, "LOCK HIS ASS UP!"

I found myself wondering why the dynamic of these relationships are not often picked apart. The narcissist and empathetic partner serve each other. The empath is often a wounded individual who is attempting to find self worth by ‘winning over’ and ‘helping’ the bad boy, when really they should redirect all that love to themselves and healthy relationships. Everyone makes mistakes. The dark triad reveal themselves when their actions demonstrate no conscience despite their apology and accepting words. “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say…” works both ways. If you had or have narcissistic parents, you will likely gravitate to the same personality types. Extremely apt at people pleasing? (Altruistic surrender; you feel happy and safe when others are. This stems from having to meet your parents psychological need or demand over your own) Do you treat yourself with the same level of care? No? There’s your answer. None of us can declare maturity until we value and respect ourselves and others equally. It’s I’M Possible. Be the change. You have a finite amount of time in your life. There are nearly 8 billion people. Choose wisely who you exchange energy with. ✌🏼❤️

I developed a fascination for sociopaths/psychopaths and the eccentric in early adulthood and would spend my free time talking to them and studying them. Then I would grow bored because a lot of them seemed..so limited by the framework they perceive reality with. I let it slip that I became bored with one, and he took tremendous offense; dedicating every opportunity that we’d cross paths to try to bring me down. Unfortunately he wasn’t very good at it. Since then, I’ve crossed paths with bigger and better psychopaths (all men), and each time I would find myself studying their tactics. It’s always very one dimensional despite their subtle methods, and they tend to have nothing to show for. I believe that was part of my journey in integrating my shadow. It’s much easier to come across malevolent people then it is to come across a strong and good person. I’m very grateful I’ve made a friend that is both strong and good.

Subscribed due to this series with Dr. Buss. Thanks Jordan

When I was 14 I tried to date a blonde beauty I knew at church. I was quite the gentleman. Even opened doors for her. She thought I was weak. At 16 she got pregnant by the town drug dealer who dropped out of high school and was arrested several times. When he heard she was expecting twins he ran to another state. When he heard she miscarried the babies at eight months he returned. It taught me a valuable lesson about women and beauty. I never looked at female beauty ever the same. Its much like a phony facade.

One: it is a challenge... chasing something unattainable is a pattern, one that needs to be broken. Second: It is exciting, a feeling we like... but we need to reassociate it with something good for us instead of placing in the hands of one person. Lastly, we want to save them, it's a maternal instinct to jump in and try to be a hero... But to lose yourself in the process is a long process of healing. Once people are whole in themselves, only then can they not chase, not jump, not fear any of it. Just be you, the right people will come around to either be a lesson or a good counterpart.

Thank you, Jordan for helping me have a deeper understanding of some of my life choices....

There's only one kind of weak man, the one who is cursed to seek respect or love from others everytime to be able to feel alive

I think it's more about physical attraction and looks than behavior. I know plenty of guys who are great looking who are also very nice that have no problems attracting women despite them being super "nice." It's more like bad behavior isn't a turn off for women as long as the guy is good looking. And I would say attractive guys are more prone to developing a cocky, entitled "bad boy" personality due to constant positive reinforcement for looking good.

What girls don't understand is that the "bad boy" persona is a front. Inside is a weak man

I think the appeal of the 'bad boy' is more the realisation from an early age that the world is a pretty dark, harsh, cruel place, so there's an instinct to be attracted to someone who isn't afraid to fight off potential enemies...It's more of a protective, survival instinct trait, especially if you grow up in a remote, rural place. It's about being attracted to men who have the strength to fight off threats in the wild...

These discussions are so interesting. Makes me wish I studied psychology more in-depth.

I am so happy Dr. Peterson is raising awareness about the Dark Triad, it needs to be common knowledge. It explains so much with respect to deceit, betrayal, greed, absolute selfishness, the evil we see in humans. Hedonism as well. Everyone should study the Dark Triad, amazing video Dr. Peterson

'How not so good looking stand up comedians get laid'... The power of being the center of attention in a large crowd and expressing a level of power. 😁

Fascinating. Logical and accurate analysis and commentary in my humble opinion. Great video.

Women want fun but also to be safe. It's a fine line.

I'm a woman and I'm considerably less agreeable than my female friends. The ethical utility of this is I don't go along with behavior like gossip, which women sometimes use to bond with each other. Obviously this also comes with a high social cost as I've lost several female friends for refusing to put down a fellow female behind her back. I notice that my male friends will tease each other to each other's faces - giving each other the opportunity to spar 'man to man'. Female relationships are very tricky.

I think especially from a Jungian idea, which I learned from Jordan himself, was that extremely deep in a women's psyche, she's unconsciously trying to find a man who has strong archetypal traits of a Hero. But the problem is being a true Hero archetype in society is only attained by very few, and it's also very difficult to accurately identify somebody who is like that. They already talked about the most notable markers, his status, his ability, his competence, his BALANCE (the wisdom of knowing when to be kind and when to be aggressive), courage, bravery, compassion, empathy. Very difficult to find this and then be able to claim it for yourself. So women mistakenly and unwisely pick the best that they can. That's why these dark triad traits aren't necessarily all bad. But if a true Hero archetypal man were to be in the presence of most women and there was a bad boy also in the room so to speak, I believe almost all the women in that room would be 10x more attracted to the Hero than to the bad boy. Because the Hero can do everything the bad boy can, but more AND better at it too. But he also has the wisdom and heart to act in a humane, admirable, and overall very attractive way (attractive as in romantic but also simply being fun, enjoyable, calming feeling protected, etc...)

As always, it is amazing to listen to hear him think out loud as he bounces ideas off others.

could listen to this kind of conversation for hours, time to go looking for more

Dr. Buss either games, knows someone who does, or has studied it. He absolutely nailed it when he talked about the hierarchies within the online gaming communities. There is a relentless hierarchy in the competitive online gaming scene. From the Joe weekender, all the way up the the guys in the pro leagues. Great video, as always Dr. Peterson.

"Really low agreeableness, high consciousness types are really quite interesting because you can trust them because they'll do their duty, but they're very direct and blunt and harsh and that can be very helpful as well because they'll tell you unpleasant truths even if you hurt your feelings, so there's some utility in that." I just wanted to type this out for other people because he said this so quickly that I couldn't follow when I heard it.

"Women would rather be beat to death than bored to death"

I've always been very kind to my girlfriends, and am generally polite and soft spoken...but I also have a temper that flares up specifically if people I care for are in danger. I've shocked some girls into breaking up with me because they didn't think I was capable of violence for some reason, even though it was in their defense. It surely is a fine line to walk.

I listented to this whole video with full attention, but I'm sorry, the fact that he just mentioned World of Warcraft is what I'm gonna remember the most from it xD but of course many other actually useful informations as well.

8:09 "One of the solutions to inequality are diverse games of competence hierarchies" - JP. I think this is such an insane insight. If you look at history, the more restrictive the games of status hierarchies, the less diverse the skillsets that lend an individual to status and power. Because of that restriction only a handful of talents and abilities lead someone to prosperity. In today's world, a broad set of skills can garner economic prosperity. That is definitely a form of progress.

The issue with Dark Triad, is that creates a social leaders uncapable of empathy. Which basically creates a toxic behavior that is followed by those who are part of the social group (usually this behavior is camouflaged with the title of "joke"). This type of groups usually are common in teenagers, but is not extinguished in adults. Those type of social groups and behaviors, show us, that is not only usefull but necessary to have a "bad guy" on your inner self, for survival reasons and self-protection. Good leaders show submissive behaviors intentionally towards social interaction in order to make others around confortable, such as giving the upper hand on the handshake, compliments and serving people. You may wonder why is that. Because they have a higher sense of empathy than usual people, they are also confident on themselves, so make sure that if you're not the leader, that the leader of your social group, has those types of characteristics (White Triad). And remember yourself, even if you are the leader of the group, there are times that you must give the lead to someone, this, is what makes you special, because you know that you're not the best on every single aspect of your life, and often, you give people the lead in order to get the best knowledge and/or result for the group/yourself.

Whoever is drawn to criminals, people with broken moral compasses and what else, are for sure one of em themselves. And if they even haven't done anything then it could be a sign they have potential for doing similar negative actions. Controversial perhaps but I believe bad people get attracted to bad people. Not sure why people portray all these people so innocent looking.

There was a book I read about sex in history, talking about the human brain evolution and drives. One part suggested that the female human subconsciously is seeking to find a suitable mate that can protect and provide, whilst also creating the strongest offspring. The book laid out that humans are animals and just like animals, they seek the survival of the fittest. It even talked about scent, not perfume or deodorant but our natural scent that can literally attract or repel a potential mate, because we have the ability to be attracted scent wise to another who have diverse genetics that compliment our own. The book suggested that the reason females go for the "bad boy" is because a part of our selection process for a mate is seeking the strongest and best survival for our offspring. The "bad boy" is, in part, seen a strong, dominant male, that can defend themselves and therefore defend them, however misguided that may be. In my twenties, when i read this book, it was a revelation understanding why some of my friends were attracted to the bad boy or even abusive male, because a subconscious part of them saw them as strong genetics for offspring potentially. I understood better the drive for the attraction, which seemed to make sense to me.

I believe the fine edge for a man Is to be strong and weak with and for his woman at the appropriate times and knowing when those are. Mixing them up leads to confusion followed by rejection

I wasn’t really “attracted” to bad boys. I never had the confidence or self worth to date a real man. I didn’t think I was good enough. I was immature so I got with immature, selfish men who acted nice at first and then after I was emotionally invested and they figured out that I was too nice and forgiving and could get away with abusing and using me, they treated me badly by manipulating and gaslighting me.

Good talk last night Mr. Peterson! Soo many people! 10,000 + Hope for humanity 🙏🏻

We all die. Life is pointless. Hope that realization makes you feel better.

I don’t remember ever being attracted to bad boys. I feel like I always appreciated kindness and politeness.

This is nice to see, two equally knowledgeable men (on the topic) having this conversation.

I was 17 and I was kind of attracted to this guy (19) where I worked. He didn't talk much or interact with fellow workmates, but one evening a workmate brought some beers to celebrate his birthday and, after half a glass, this guy started reciting Mark Antony's soliloquy. I had never known a teenage boy of my acquaintance who seemed to have a passing acquaintance with Shakespeare. He caught my attention big time. Two years later we married, 50 years this coming December. His looks caught my attention, but his intelligence sealed the deal. He has a gentle nature but could be dangerous in the right circumstances. We complement each other in our strengths and weaknesses.

JP is right on that. 🍻 as someone who dated anti social personality disorder for a short while when I was in my mid 20's... I've learned so much and grew up very fast after that. I don't like to blame society BUT - we need to educate young girls and boys about this. Many people get destroyed by these kind of people with ASPD without knowing what is it. When I look back - this was a hell of a shadow work for me. but now I feel like a better human being. JP's books and lectures helped as well. I hope men and women (healthy and young) will learn about it so they can give a real fight for this disorders and change the world for the better. after all, ONLY people that DON'T KNOW a thing about that reality will choose a toxic narcissistic leaders over and over for all the wrong reasons.

I agree, when I was young I think I mistook toxic masculinity as protection and confidence but now as an older woman in her 30s I know better, I know the difference between healthy masculinity and dominance over the toxic narcissistic kind.

7:56 so true. My friends and I all worked at the movie theater together and we would have tournaments. Everybody was good at their own respective gamer. I was unbeatable at NFL Blitz. All of the tournaments were happening, but when the Blitz one came around, they excluded me because I knew how to block field goals and they just couldn't beat me. 25 years later, they're still denying that it was just because I was that good. So yeah, that hierarchy comment about video games is spot, among the rest of the convo. I just remember them exiling me from the competition and I had to watch all of the lessers play Blitz knowing I could have obliterated them! Oh yeah, Crusin USA too!

Jordan Peterson, a man of high intellect. I consume as much information from him as I can. He's not political or constrained by cultural Marxism (political correctness), and puts the truth right out there.

Happy that Jordan looks much more livelier! Best wishes Jordan!

I was more mature when I met my husband (later 20s). I looked for someone who valued me for friendship as well as for romance. We've been married since 1983 and we still love each other's company!

@Scotty B. You've made excellent points, they really show your wisdom on the matter. I believe that instances, such as your own, e.i., men in general loosing a lot of their societal value to women simply because they feel the need to treat their partner much better than their partner treats them, are only going to increase if we as a sex continue to let the lies told by the inexperienced and ignorant members of society who's influence come almost entirely from the fact that they now are able to access large platforms without the real world standing to deserve to do so affect our perception of real world relations as much as they are starting to. Yes, I understand that it's not just social media that tells these ignorant lies, but we're seeing this transition of what used to be good-intentioned falsities, to exaggerated, extremely harmful, departures from the truths. I must add that I have very little experience on the matter, and am purely theorizing the cause of this increase in misunderstanding between the sexes. My theories are almost entirely based off of priori, thusly take what I said with a grain of salt, and instead formulate your own perception of this very modern dilemma.

I've always been attracted to the "bad boy" because I feel like if I can make a person who loves no one, love me, I must be special.

Essentially, JP has in this podcast and others, furthered the idea that some young women are unable to distinguish between the badboy and what they really want, the alpha. Whereas the badboy not only is formidable to others, but is dangerous to himself, for either lack of self control or intelligence, puts himself in harms way, ultimately negatively affecting the security and protection of females

Right, this is a very uncomfortable reality for decent young men, but the question is - is the answer or the solution to acquire those dark but somehow desirable traits? Men have bad experiences and heartbreaks stemming from them being the nice, decent guy and the woman losing interest, cheating with someone with those traits, or rejects the 'good' guy. But should we give in to this sad structure and play into the type of man or just try to find a woman that actually appreciates the 'good', nice traits?

That's interesting because I believe we live in a time with the most diverse amounts of status hierarchy and ways to be respected yet people seem to be at their unhappiest.

Jordan, kudos on your last few podcasts! It seems that your topics took a little dip in the recent past (mostly of political nature). It's good to see you taking steps into the unknown in fields where you have a vast amont of knowledge to begin with and please, do a psychological analysis of the New Testament asap, you're a great curator! Lastly, you said you were working on a new book? Can you give us a few details? Thanks, Matt ✌️

Another fantastic discussion! Thank you for the knowledge!

Very True - Although a fully grown - wise man who's confident ALSO fully respects and values woman and their body. In a way, your statement as true as it is - for some [younger men] is perceived in such that they should ONLY focus on their work and ignore their spouse/girlfriend etc. If you do that long enough the best of the best would eventually give up and leave - no matter how much of a catch you see yourself to be. So it has to be a well-balanced ordeal and 100% Agree - especially when young - 20-40 to focus on your career and YOURSELF - advancing your personal quality and CHARACTER - and don't chase women. They will become more of a distraction than anything good.

I guess by definition I am and was a risk taker … sky diving.. bungee jumping.. ultralight flight.. ect. But I never did those things to impress others. I did them because they scared the crap out of me. At some point of my life I made the decision to confront my fears head on. I had a lot of them as a child. It has helped me in all aspects of life .. if you don’t confront your fear it will control you

I’m higher in dark triad traits than I would like. I’m not a good person, but I have worked seriously hard on becoming a good man, with a fair degree of success, I think. To the point of even running off to a monastery for a few years. Tbh, one of the things that I have really struggled with is knowing how much more successful I was with women before vs now. It planted a lot of insecurity in me that all of my work was in vain, and that what I’ve become really isn’t what women want, in spite of what they may think or claim. I don’t know if I’ve found an answer for myself better than, “you do this for yourself, not for them”.

I'm not near as deep and articulate as Jordan Peterson, but I would say I sway to being analytical and thoughtful. I like to know how things work, this includes people. One of the toughest challenges I can speak to is to really know my "self". It's easy to look at others and be objective and subsequently critical of their thoughts and actions. It can be very challenging to self-reflect on things you've said and done. What is/was my motivation? What am I wanting to obtain/attain? I don't know how many times I've been told by people that I think too much. I reply by saying they think too little and I have to balance the scale. Even if you don't consider yourself to be a religious person nor become one, I would still advise people to read the Bible. It is full of many insightful ideas that lead to obtaining wisdom.

Thank you for this.

As a 65 yo, divorced and once labeled "nice guy" I wish I had known the truth in the below lyrics , my only true love I have ever known was and is still music and the most curvy guitars. Ooh La La / Lyrics Main Results Poor old Granddad, I laughed at all his words I thought he was a bitter man He spoke of women's ways They'll trap you when they use you Before you even know For love is blind and you're far to kind Don't ever let it show I wish that I knew what I know now When I was younger I wish that I knew what I know now When I was stronger The can-can such a pretty show Will steal your heart away But backstage back on earth again The dressing rooms are grey They come on strong and it ain't too long For they make you feel a man But love is blind and you soon will find You're just a boy again When you want her lips, you get her cheek Makes you wonder where you are If you want some more then she's fast asleep Leaves you twinkling with the stars Poor young grandson there's nothing I can say You'll have to learn, just like me And that's the hardest way Ooh la la Ooh la la, la la, yeah I wish that I knew what I know now When I was younger I wish that I knew what I know now When I was stronger

I wish I had learned my lesson about the dark triad type when I was young. Married one when I was 18 and and another when I was 38. Devastating effects both times. I do have a tendency to be very naïve. Although I must admit, the second time I knew and I married him anyway. I told myself that it would be OK, and the good would outweigh the bad. Very naïve decision.

Jordan I love you and you have changed my life in so many ways. Please never sell out. Please never lower yourself to using clickbait.

From my understanding of this episode is that the "dark triad" trait is useful depending on environment from an evolutionary perspective. Because we are a social species. We're a hunter gatherer species. So regardless if someone can hunt/gather they still would get resource that we all put effort in obtaining. Example: if you had the datk triad trait and we all went out hunting and you caught the animal and brought it back to the village ! Yes you may keep the best part for yourself but most likely you'll share with the whole village. Or if you had the dark triad trait and was disabled and couldn't walk our hunt, guess what your still gonna eat because your still part of the village. Likewise if you were a gatherer. I'm not a psychologist but these traits we put labels to may not have the extreme negative connotations that we may give them. Because sometimes we miss the X factor that we, evolutionarily wise are a social species, and that's a very important factor that we may miss in labeling someone using the study of psychology which is very new in human society but does have significant impact for us individually in our our artificial society.

An early part of the feminine Individuation process may be at work when you see young women attracted to men with these “dark triad” traits. Particularly in young women who experienced rejection by their father (or both parents). Many young women become chronic “givers” and constellate “takers” around them, over giving is as toxic as over taking. These young women often live in a pattern of pouring everything they have into an unhealthy relationship, mirroring whatever that other person wants them to be until there is absolutely nothing left of themselves. It’s at that point a woman with this sort of problem can find her own self worth and stop “casting pearls before swine”.

I remember back when I got out of college and got my first job, industrial sales. Three piece suit, company car, company paid travel, many perks, company credit card, very good income. I was also single and had really no problem in attracting younger women, early 20's, as I was also in my early 20's. However, I was somewhat unsure of myself, since I was just starting out in the real world, and was told by some to "fake it until you make it." Looking back, I wonder if my inability to develop a lasting relationship was that the women eventually saw through my facade?