Yep! It's difficult to articulate past "Everything is difficult" or "I feel like everybody else understands how to do normal things and I just don't"

Ugh! I hate living messy but I have such a hard time cleaning up. I love cleaning but I find it so hard choosing where to start and what order to clean in.

I have a really tough time initiating projects that I want to complete. Getting started feels impossible. Where do I start? Which part should go first and why? How can I get this to flow right? soooo frustrating! I know I get clumsy when my mind's on overdrive, so I have to pay extra attention to how much is going on in my mind. I could relate so much. Thanks for this video.

Wow, I really learned a lot with this video. Several of the executive functions you mention I deal with everyday. Getting myself started on even a small task is a monumental task for me. It's a big deal to do a small thing that most people take for granted. I always thought this was a depression issue but it's totally not. My old therapist would also make think it was depression and obviously it's not. I also have a lot of problems with short term memory, which also effects my reading ability. This was a good one and helpful.

For me it's an issue of feeling detached & overwhelmed. It's also an issue of confusion. I also have short term memory issues.

I feel this so much. I've never known how to explain the things I struggle with, everyday stuff that seems so simple for everyone else, and felt bad about myself for it. Wondering if I'm just lazy, or not trying hard enough. Thanks for sharing your experiences and making it easier to explain to others!

I think executive dysfunction is the reason why my house is so messy. Lol! I know I have theory of mind difficulties too

*Reasoning: You: Just repeat back what you heard. Me: I DON'T REMEMBER!😭 😂😂

People have told me "Just go pee" because I will have to pee and complain, but I won't go and pee! Torture.

I have a friend who taught me about autism, but with research it seems I may have ADHD also. I can struggle to get a task started, then find myself starting 5 projects at once, then not being able to complete any of them 😅

My executive functioning is generally ok but I have always had really hard times with initiation. I was always labeled as a 'procrastinator' and my dad always called me 'lazy' and now that I have a diagnosis and learned about this, I realize why i was called those things. I actually just realized now that my probs with initiation are why i tend to be late to things ('Jim is always late' is a typical thing most of my friends would say) Monitoring issues for me seem to be pretty similar to yours. I have no probs with working memory, but the other ones maybe have bits of issues with at times. However, if I am having feelings/emotions about things it becomes much harder to do executive functioning. I realized my trouble with initiation would make me upset at myself, making my executive functioning become worse, upsetting myself more, making it worse, and on and on. By realizing what is going on I have been better on myself when I have trouble initiating and so I tend to generally have less troubles with executive functioning overall. EDIT: ok, I have to add this. when i was a child i had such worse problems - your shower example reminded me. My parents would tell me to get dressed and they would have to keep reminding me to continue getting dressed. It would take me like 30mins cause I'd kind of forget what i was supposed to be doing and just stare into space or think about something interesting or get hyper-focused on a pattern or something and they would come up and tell me to keep getting dressed, and then id do one or 2 more steps of getting dressed, and it would happen again, etc.

one of those extra relatable videos that help me accept and understand myself more.

Wow, this may really be a life changing video for me. My five year old son (was four when diagnosed) is on the Spectrum, and I really had no idea what that entailed. I have been looking up ways to help him and fully understand what his perspective are. In the process, I have had a lot of, "huh, I definitely have that same trouble with that," thoughts. Understanding that I also have had to those issues has made it much easier to empathize and help him on his journey of understanding himself and the world around him. Until recently, I have been kind of putting my own thoughts about having ASD on the back burner mentally. Maybe it has been denial. Who knows. Since I have had more time to study though, I have really started to believe that I have checked the boxes of being on the ASD spectrum. I needed details though on how the symptoms play out in real life. Your video has just connected the dots for me, regarding executive functions. My gosh, what you said about working memory and my auto-pilot could have been directly from my own mouth. lol I have done martial arts, boxing, wrestling, etc. for most of my life. Having said that, I have always been known to be one of the clumsiest people I know. The difference when I am practicing those sports is that my mind is able to cut everything else in reality out (my sensei told me that it was called a "flow-state," I believe) of my mind. I can't do that at any other time in my life. I have tried meditating with absolutely no success. Anyway, I want to thank you for this video! I have subscribed and am going to be checking out your other videos shortly.

Yep initiation with showers here

My work around for initiation is if I have a project to do, I think about it as I’m going to sleep the night before. I think of every step and how to start and what supplies I’ll need (sometimes I’ll lay out the supplies one day, and do the task the next day). That way, the next day, I’m basically programmed to do the task. Allowing myself to get enough rest & sleep and purposely relaxing helps also to keep away the guilt. I’m allowed to be lazy before a task because I’m energizing and programming myself.

I have a hard time starting anything, but once it's started I have a hard time stopping. I have a hard time initiating phone calls. If I get an unknown number I stress and won't answer. I get asked "what are you watching"... Me: "the TV"🙄 I'm 66 and I've been different all my life, but I've learned to live with it. When I was young I don't think that that it was recognised and people were classed as moody or awkward or selfish or just weird. This is all new to me as I've only just become aware of my "condition" But as I have now accepted that I'm different, I feel happier in myself.

I recently got diagnosed (as an adult no less) and I'm so glad I stumpled upon this channel. When you mentioned the problem solving in the beginning I was like "WAAaaaiit is that why it's so tough?" and then you linked them to some of the executive functions and it just hit me. Thank you for helping me understand my own life just a bit better!

I am so good at problem solving... identifying the problem.... no bueno.

My biggest problem is initiation, but I've never heard that it'd help if someone else said it to you. After that I'd say it's cognitive flexibility, especially when I'm tired. My brain just turns really black and white and things just got to be a certain way and I'm too tired or unwilling to entertain any other possibilities. Last for me is inhibition. I can control myself well enough most of the time, but there are definitely times when I just really want to speak up but I can't because the social setting won't allow it and it's physically almost painful to not be able to share your own thoughts on something because there's never room for you to speak up. It's actually so nice to now have an explanation why I sometimes feel such a strong desire to speak up in a conversation to the point it's physically painful to not be able to and knowing it's because of my autism.

There are so many times where unless something in my environment changes (usually a person entering the space, but a noice can suffice) it will be almost impossible for me to switch or start tasks 😖

This was an especially good video. I have ADHD diagnosed (@ 30, family was not a "go to the dr" kind of family as a kid) and was told an autism diagnoses may "make me act more autistic"... lol -__- I would say I struggle with everything here with the only questionable thing being inflexible thinking. Yet at the same time, I align myself with certain kinds of logic pretty heavily and get very frustrated when others don't seem to understand or respect my logic, so yea, I'm sure that's a kind of inflexibility.

I remember back in the 4th grade, we had a class that was specifically about problem solving. They'd present us with a manufactured conflict between two or more people, and it was our job to, well, problem solve, and resolve it. I remember hating that class with a passion. It wasn't until this past year or so, when I discovered that I was on the spectrum, that I understood why.

Thank you Stephanie! Really compelling. You explained this so well!

Great video! I struggle with the monitoring part. If I get distracted I can sometimes make dumb mistakes. Glad I heard about this. My cognitive flexibility has improved a lot in the last 3 years. Unfortunately due to covid. With constant changes to supply change, prices, availability of things, some businesses unexpectedly shutting down, etc. it has forced me to be creative. (Sometimes I do better than my non autistic cohorts these days in that one) Great info…

Great job! You’re making a positive difference in the world.

Make sense. I just figured everyone had these issues.

About initiation. I am privileged enough in my country to be able to have a "support person" that comes to my home to do the telling you what to do part that is needed for you, the problem is... I hate being told what to do. It literally makes me not want to do something. So that didn't work for me. And I hate ppl touching my stuff so any kind of "let's do it together"-thing doesn’t work either. So now I just use her for company once a week while walking my dog for 30 minutes. (She does do some other stuff too, mostly on paper but still, I don't completely waste her time ok). I hope that it will be less of a "problem" to do these things when I live alone (if I ever can find somewhere to move to that is cheap enough etc), because I suspect heavily that one of the pebbles turned into a mountain for me is that I don't want to clean up someone else’s sh*t. I live with my mother and I don't want to clean up after her, so I just don't clean at all basically. If I live alone, it is just my sh*t I have to clean up and I hope therefore that doing it at all will be less difficult... Here is to hoping. I like to as seen describe part of the initiation difficulty as: any and all small, tiny roadblocks to just doing the thing, makes the tiny insignificant pebble of a roadblock into a mountain and many small roadblocks in a row is a helluva hike just to f*cking vacuum. Examples of these small "problems" (pebbles) are: the vacuum cleaner is loud, it makes me sweaty to vacuum and I hate being sweaty. Sometimes though there aren't any known or obvious roadblocks in the way of doing the thing, I want to do it, I should do it, I kinda have to do it, but not enough to actually do it and so it doesn't get done. This is harder to explain to ppl that don't have the handicap themselves but it is just literally a disability of the executive function ability. I hope more research into initiation specifically might make it easier for younger generations to be understood. We are not lazy; we just literally can not do what needs to be done, no matter how much we want to do it! It is too late for me: I have masked so hard for so long and have forced "normalcy" onto myself, I have been telling myself and ppl around me for years that "yes, I am lazy", I mean I must be, I don't do anything useful, so there can't be any other explanation right. Wrong. But accepting and embracing this when the rest of the world around you just doesn't get it is impossible. "Normal" ppl can work for more than 6h, why can't I? Oh I'll burn out, get depressed and likely kms? Huh. But trying to survive on such low pay is practically impossible if you want a good enriched life, no? Oh but I have no choice because I will overwork myself, burn out, get depressed and kms... sigh. I hope to get a job. Move out of my mother's place. Get a dog for me. Live, laugh, love with this dog. Maybe get into dogbreeding to keep the breed around since it is going exstinct. Then get old. Kms before I get too sick to do it. Peace.

I can say with certainty that I have trouble maintaining anything rigid as far as cleaning my teeth or showering goes. I don't usually have a defined lunchtime unless I'm at work. My room is cluttered & I have some crap I could probably get rid of but just looking at the clutter itself clutters my brain, heh :)

For me, taking initiative is also difficult. I find that it has a lot to do with 'context switching', that is, mentally transitioning from the thought processes necessary for one activity to the processes required for the next. Somebody else prompting me to do something, moving to a different location that I associate more with that sort of thing, or other environmental cues that happen to go along with the new thing, helps my brain adjust to the next set of thought processes. But it's hard to change my internal context if the external context doesn't change - it's like my brain gets hung up on whatever is happening already, and going into the next thing immediately would be like trying to navigate an unfamiliar room in the dark. I need some 'context clues' to get moving. One thing that sometimes helps is making lists, diagrams, or microjournaling entries about what I need to do. But that's a lot of hassle for simple everyday tasks, haha, so I don't always do it. But I thought I'd share in case others benefit fron that.

The bit about monitoring was helpful. I definitely bump my shoulders into corners when I'm at home (bc my mind is supposed to be on auto-pilot.) And I noticed that autopilot things don't always work right every day. Like I'll feel like I'm walking weird some days, almost like with a bounce, but the next day I'm fine. I usually have to be pretty tired, but I don't really know. Or when I'm pouring something and look away for a second, I might mess up. It doesn't happen all the time, but often enough to notice. It was bad some times when I used to sell resin crafts and would have to not spill the glitter embeds. :/ And I'm a 'not showering every day' kinda person. I love my hair style/cut/wave pattern, but it takes a lot of effort to look cute. Also, my work spaces and bedroom usually looked very well-used and lived-in.

Thank you for the video! I relate to most of these points. But what REALLY struck me: your example of even a simple task like showering being overwhelming. I shower regularly but there are many, many times in my life where i become anxious about getting all the subtasks done (shampooing, conditioner, etc) as if someone is holding a gun to my head to finish it all in 2 minutes. I never feel like I am showering "right;" each time I shampoo is a mew experience; each time I condition I am newly stressed about getting enough moisture to all of my hair and not washing out too much of the conditioner. Each time it feels like I am still figuring it out. It makes it tough to have the relaxing feeling a shower can bring. Somewhat similarly, I don't think I ever wash my hands without rushing, no matter what time of day it is. I have been attributing these problems to my anxiety but it feels like more than that.

Thanks for these vids, i can relate especially with the serving part. I remember i would draw out the table and each persons position at the table then daw some kind of visual clue on each person so i know which person ordered what. I never understood how my co workers could simple remember or make a linear list.

OMG, you are so good at putting all this into common words and making it understandable and relatable. It is like you can read my mind and know how I think. I have no idea if I myself am on the spectrum, yet; but, I certainly have had an awakening to how it flows through my family genetics. This is so helpful. Keep up the great work!!!

You and I score differently, but you made all of it relatable. There, that saved us both six paragraphs of compliments and comments.

This is pretty awesome. I just got diagnosed maybe 3 weeks ago. So I'm really just getting to know myself and just barely starting to understand myself. A lot of things on this list gave me those, "ah, so that's why I'm like that" moments. Thank you for the info. Glad I came across your comment on shivvy's channel and decided to check yours out.

When i finally had a word to this i felt so relieved!

What amazing presentations this woman does. Easy to listen to. Real. Pleasant. Thank you 😊

Problem solving is my super power. Being asked to explain how I got from point a to point b, or "show your work" however... wheels fall off.

Everything described seems to be associated with ADHD (mind you, the overlap between ADHD and autism seems to be large). I have experienced most of the executuve malfunctions you describe ("Accused of autism; convicted of ADHD").

I’m having some success initiating things by making notes on my phone to do them.

I counteract my issues with cognitive flexibility by just not making up my mind on anything. I learned early on that things I cared about like sitting in the same chair at the dinner table was unacceptable to everyone else, and to just sit back and watch what others thought the best decision was. I still had a meltdown a couple months ago when my partner rearranged our bookshelf though.

Initiation, inhibition, and cognitive flexibility are the big ones for me. Initiation especially is frustrating. The best way I've found to deal with it is to build a sequence of actions that each follow on the other, preferably starting with a task that I don't have to initiate myself. Once I get started with a sequence of tasks that are a set routine, I can usually continue. Having said that... I've been working from home for two years during the pandemic and only JUST recently managed to successfully implement a new morning routine that allows me to shower regularly. The pandemic has destroyed all my routines, and therefore destroyed my ability to function as a normal human. Initiation issues are also frustrating because they are basically impossible to explain sufficiently to someone who doesn't have these issues, because they just don't understand it at all. Even to me it seems ridiculous that I just can't seem to do things when I want to do them. I shouldn't have to spend hours thinking about doing something before I can finally do it.

Such an awesome summary, and I thought Cynthia Kim was good in her book Nerdy, shy, and socially Inappropriate was good, but this is even Better.

My mind likes to go on autistic trail hikes. It makes everyday tasks more difficult.

It can take be days to prepare to do simple things like take a shower. I have been just sitting on my bed for hours waiting for me to be ready to clean my room wen I don’t have instructions, and wen I’m tired or overwhelmed I can’t even make myself a sandwich, and yes if no wan is then I will just go hungry. on my diagnosis paper it said the one of the things I struggle most with is executive function

Excellent video. I never saw it framed this way. It explains a lot.

This is something my roommate still doesn't fully understand about me even though we've lived together for years.

This was so helpful!!

OH MY GOD THERE'S A NAME FOR IT

I couldn't work at a restaurant ever. They'd fire me after a couple hours no joke

This really informative Explain a whole lot about what is happening here with me Thank you so much 😊💕

OMG, thank you so much for this and all your other content...I can so extremely relate!

I was misdiagnosed as ADHD because my executive functions do look a lot like ADHD. So I spent a long time getting the wrong treatment.

It sounds like the problems you described would affect your waitressing. In my case, the guys around me were making $50 $60 in tips per night, and I was making $9 to $12. Three decades ago.) Some of the better waitresses (pretty, very congenial) would make $80 or $90. And the one on "coke" made $120! She was really good! (I wouldn't advise that. She got fired, so much for tips 🤔) Fortunately, I had another job.

I have problems with every single one of these! Never really knew how to explain any of it and worried it just sounded like excuses and not real problems. And it's especially hard to explain to my employers/managers etc when they ask how my aspergers affects me and this is definately one of my main problems. Not easy to explain how my aspergers affects me at all! This helps though thanks! X

Thanks for this extremely insightful video! I experience issues with all the executive functions in this way, it’s helpful to know that a lot of the things I struggled with in my life are due to executive function. Showering is SUPER hard for me. I struggle to start shower and my showers take so long because I tend to have trouble washing my face and body. Even after long showers I struggle to wash certain parts of my body and I forget to shave. I also had no idea that difficulty with verbal directions and holding back information/stopping interrupting is due to executive function! I’ve gotten scolded by my parents so many times for those things! Also, I have a hard time with planning because I can never find the appropriate approach to plan. Should I plan my entire day by the minute? Should I have a loose schedule? How will I track my day planning? Most importantly: how will I remember my day planning!? Again, thank you so much. Are there any resources to help with executive dis function though? I could really use them.

I'm sitting here at my dad's office cuz I had to do some work today (a Saturday). I should've been here 4 hours ago. I can't explain why it's so hard for me to just DO things. Even things I WANT to do. I'll spend all day _thinking_ about how I want to do something, I can't _wait_ to get started on this thing I love to do... And yet I spend hours and hours and hours putting the thing off. It makes absolutely no sense me and even less to those around me. And it causes so many issues with interpersonal relationships. I just can't _make myself do things_ a lot of times.

I wonder if those on the spectrum with executive function difficulties are in fact AuDHD (Cooccuring Autism and ADHD).

it's true, every time I have to shower like the long shower, it kinda makes me feel anxious because there's a lot to do, and most of the time I end up getting out of that shower even more tired than before doing it.

Thanks for all your helpful videos.

Russel Barkley has lectures about this phenomenon on KZfaq. I think he talks about how to handle it, too.

What's the difference between ASD and ADHD then ? Because people with ADHD have the same problems that you mentioned

Initiaton is my worst one.

Initiating is the least logical one for me and yet one of the main ones I struggle with. It's incredibly frustrating.

Isn't this ADHD? I'm trying understand the differences and similarities between autism and ADHD. Diagnosed adhd-c one year ago and while ADHD makes complete sense for me, something still isn't making sense as I have a bunch of autistic symptoms too. At this point, for me, it's looking to be one in the same.

For initiation, can you record telling yourself to do something, then play it back repeatedly until you do it? Just annoy the shit out of yourself.

Your video reminds me of the most gorgeous young childhood book 'Do I put it on like this?' This darling bear keeps putting items of clothes on the wrong body part.

That was interesting. Thanks, cheers from France!

Monitoring- do you mean dual tasking?

Part of the problem I see in this world is that the neurotypical bosses expect us to operate on their programs. The problem is they are pc and we are Linux or Mac. And on top of that, we have to install a clunky program to use their program on our operating system. Then they get frustrated as to why it takes too long to do. Maybe someone should do a video series on what it would look like if neurotypicals had to run on our operating systems at work. An example would be getting written up for being habitually 10 minutes early to work, for not hyperfocusing on details to the nth degree, for not having uneven productivity. For not asking to have instructions written down, or never having a meltdown, and for not being a black and white thinker etc. Basically the idea is that being neurotypical gets you in trouble in this alternate world. The world needs to understand people are not all the same and can’t be treated as such. We deserve the same opportunities without having to work twice as hard as everyone else. Maybe if the world understood what is was like to be constantly fired because they couldn’t keep up with expectations, they would have more understanding for those of us who struggle.

11:36 Mmmm months ago, I was walking outside and for a moment, I kind of disconnected from my brain and started walking toward the avenue ._. I suddenly was watching the bridge steps, but they were on the other side of the road!!!!! If it weren't because my mom stopped me, Idk what would've happened... Also, a while after that I experimented something really weird. I was walking but I couldn't coordinate well. My body either went to the left or to the right. It was a little different from the previous experience, but I wanted to share it because it was so weird xD

Interesting. I find I am good at solving problems. My working memory does not.

I saw "executive function" and assumed this video was about the Presidency. XD I guess this video means we won't be seeing Stephannie Bethany run in 2020... Which, now that I think of it, is something that couldn't happen anyway, Because you have to be a certain age to have that opportunity. Maybe someday...

The whole walking into things when you are overloaded 😭🤦🏾‍♀️

Because I have difficulties with putting my thoughts into words I curse A LOT.

Looks like I'm making a comment for everything your discussing, bun inhibition... Yeah. Lol I swear im bad with running over others talking. It's just that I will really forget the reason I was on a subject. Sometimes I'll forget before I finish one sentence. Ok...continue please😂😂😂