sitting in my silent home, 7am. my phone on full volume: WELCOME TO MY SCIENTIFICALLY INFORMED-

I've learned that it's pretty common for victims of narcissists to investigate, especially when the narcissist is very abusive and strange. All the victim has to do is confront the narcissist and the narcissist then turns the tables and uses it as ammunition to call the victim a stalker. It happens all the time.

Had this happen to me back in the 1980's when there were no stalking laws. Police wouldn't help. It was very scary to say the least. It went on for 5 years untill I finally moved far away so he couldnt find me. I barely knew him, met him through a mutual aquintance, he asked me out to dinner. Some things he said while at dinner I found were really strange. When he approached me for a 2nd date, I told him politely I didn't feel we were a match and wished him well. That is when the stalking began. I developed severe anxiety as a result of this stalking. Abolutley horrible to go through this. I feel for anyone going through this. There are stalking laws now report it ASAP to police if this is happening to you.

I spoke to a woman who admitted she stalked her ex-boyfriend. She described driving by his house, sometimes for hours every day. She mostly talked about a plan to "get him back." She eventually stopped stalking him, and in a strange twist of events, he tried to get back with her and she rejected him. She didn't appear to have BPD, she didn't really fit the diagnosis for most personality disorders. I've known a few stalkers, both male and female, and the common denominator in all of them were emotionally unavailable parents.

Another interesting thing to note is that the stalker will discard the victim when they find another source to feed their narcissism.

A person living with Autistic Spectrum Condition who is unable to form and maintain relationships may approach people in ways which come may across as stalking / pursuit behaviour.

Love how one person disliked this thirteen minute video four minutes after it’s gone up. Someone is bitter. 😉 I will like it to cancel it out. 😊

I have been stalked by 3 guys who were scarily obsessed with me and 2 girls who were both my ex-roommates that I had to cut out of my life because they didn't understand boundaries. All but 1 of the guys had VERY strong BPD traits...I thought it was just a random theory I had with my personal experiences that BPD and stalking almost go hand-in-hand, and I was somehow egging them on to stalk me (?), so hearing this researched evidence on BPD and stalking validates me so much! Thank you Dr. Grande!!! It isn't about me but their BPD potentially!

I had a true stalker. Unfortunately I have to clarify because some people assume that I just knew someone who was creepy. He found my info without me giving it, frequently broke into my house, threatened me, texted me up to 500 times a day, and threatened my now husband when we were dating. He threatened a few dares. Anytime someone does anything even close to a boundary breach, take it seriously. Mine started out as just as bordering on stalking and harassment, but quickly escalated. People dismiss early stalking or ‘unwanted pursuit’ as just an awkward crush. It’s always unhealthy and concerning, and it can very easily and very quickly get worse.

We desperately need to create non profit based therapy help centers where we offer group therapy where people can finally address those childhood traumas and work their ways through them.

Fb has made stalking easier it seems.

So many stalkers are lurking in gyms these days. They are creeps who just cannot accept that people are not interested in them. Say hello to the wrong person and you end up being stalked these days.

Anyone who has ever dealt with someone who has BPD knows how dangerous they can be. There is a reason why outside sources such as attorneys and law enforcement should be aware.

I have stalked. But I don't do it anymore.especially since I quit drinking more than 15 years ago I will not do it anymore. Ive had urges too. But I know that it is really Self defeating behavior . Its actually been longer than 15 years since I've acted this way. Last time was 1995. It just makes me feel so icky engaging like that.

A clear, informative distinction between Stalking and Unwanted Pursuit.

5 stalkers did not like being outed.

A friend of mine was stalked by a woman he had gone to school with but never spoken to or interacted with. She invented an alternate history in her head where they had been in a relationship together and he broke it off. She spent several years writing essays to him on facebook, trying to contact his friends, and even tried to get physically close to him at his college.

My coworker met this man online who is married and she got his number, called him until he blocked her and now she is moving a mile from his house 3 states away. She obsessively looks at his wife's Facebook photos )the man blocked her a long time ago) and she truly believes that this man and her are in a relationship. She seems normal is every way but dealing with this man.

This is one topic that I find very interesting although I did not experience it in real life. 40 years ago, stalking was part of the romantic arsenal and nobody was seeing or perceiving it as a threat. It was kind of endearing and funny ....but now, how times have changed....Thank you for your video!

Doctor grande is so important to my life . Because Im trying to get my life on a good track . I’m thankful for the consistency of this whole series

Dear Dr. Grande, I deeply hope that my watching and commenting your vids is WANTED Pursuit Behaviour. This is another great topic. I really enjoy you non-judgemental attitude towards all kinds of human abysses. Thanks.

Great use of words to explain the concepts!

Thanks Dr. G , Ive been stalked and its no joke! Ive been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline and i wasnt the stalker. It ruined my life quite a bit , caused me to feel paranoid. Thankfully its all behind me. Have a great 4th of July.

A woman I knew was so convinced a man was in love with and was stalking her, but the truth was she loved him and was stalking him, years later I learned that this is called erotomania. As far as I know she still holds this belief 20 years later, Although she now holds the belief that he 'ruined' her life and no longer pursues him. I tried to help her but I became the target of her hostility because I refused to believe he was controlling songs on the radio to give her subliminal messages.

As a person with some borderline traits I feel I understand certain types of stalkers (which obviously doesn't mean I justify their actions). I know very well how it is to fall in love and to think that you will never ever be happy in your life unless you are with that person. In my case these feelings were always unreturned, and in some cases their objects were poeple I didn't know personally. But regardless of the mind telling you it makes no sense, you feel you will be unhappy till death unless that singer or teacher or friend returns your love. So you basically do all you can to make that person love you: you write emails, write messages to them on Facebook and then wait with beating heart because if they don't respond, it means you're worth nothing. So, although I personally never went further, I can imagine wanting to force the person into a relationship. I also understand the impossibility/difficulty in accepting that the object of your idealization turns out to be different from what you imagined, or that he/she simply has changed. I believe I have some idea of why someone might want to kill the person who "disappointed" him/her. It's simply so unbearable when you still have the ideal in your head, and at the same time you have begun to see the reality of the person you have been in love with. That said, I've been trying to understand the mechanisms going on in my head for a long time, which helps me manage my emotions, but it's a very slow process with a lot of traps and failures along the way.

Very informative and quite sobering indeed... thank you, Dr Grande.

I’m male and my stalker is female. She’s been following me for almost a decade now. Originally I use to react to it hostilely, yelling at her, chasing her off my property, and calling the police. I didn’t know it was rooted in a cognitive disorder and that I was only exacerbating the problem.

They are more likely to be sociopathic sadists than BPD. You have to be cruel and heartless to do what they do.

Excellent information and explanations! I’m in the family law business and I will refer this video as mandatory viewing.

Thank you, Dr. Grande. Another very interesting discussion. I kept thinking of Jodi Arias's behaviour as I listened to this.

I see a Dr. Grande video on BPD. I like, watch and comment immediately.

Dr Grande, have you ever read Gavin de Becker's, " The Gift of Fear "? He writes about predicting violent behavior in people, abusive tendencies, and violence in stalkers. Without going into disorders, he describes a good bit of behaviors that seem to overlap with possible diagnoses of antisocial personality disorder, borderline, narcissistic etc and I was wondering what you might think about his criteria.

I have BPD & struggle with stalking behaviours. When someone hurts me, I want to hurt them back tenfold, so I stalk & psychologically terrorise them. When I feel that I've regained control & have made my point, I drop them & move on - they'll always be looking over their shoulder, though. When I was a teenager/young adult, I also stalked people that I obsessively crushed on - strangely enough, that had the opposite effect & drove people away, when in my mind I was proving to them how loyal I am, how I'd make a good partner, how much I love them.

Stalking doesn't just happen with romantic relationship it can happen where someone stalks friends, their adult kids, co workers etc. My bfs bpd etc mother has for lack of better words has stalked my bf, her ex-husband, her ex-husbands current wife and myself. It got so bad at one point my bfs dads wife had to call the cops. Unfortunately the cops didn't do anything other than tell my bfs mother to have no contact. She continued stalking and harassing a few weeks later and goes in phases til this day.

Just wondering if compulsive traits may be a factor in some stalking behaviors

Amazing information, thank you:) Doctor for sharing!

Thank you for another awesomely informative video Dr. Grande!!! Happy 4th of July to you and the family!!!

Very interesting video, thanks Dr Grande! You do a great job in providing information about very emotive topics in a non judgmental way. Could you do a video on BPD and if the traits differentiate between men and women? Thanx 😅

Happy Independence day, Dr. Grande, with love and thanks. S x.

I was the psycho ex. There would be few times I'd call my ex to tell him that I missed him...I did it mostly to tell him how much of a piece of shit he was for using me, lying to me, leading me on, and betraying me. My last time was when I decided that I wanted to ruin his day...so I showed up to his house (wasn't there), so then I drove to the restaurant he always wanted to take me to and found him with his new partner....I told the waiter to add another seat at the end of the booth and sat with them. I pretty much did an emotional dump on him right in front of his new partner, exposed how he "defended gold diggers" (Facebook post...then I walked out. His new partner confronted me cursed me out and called me a sociopath...I told him that I was diagnosed with BPD comorbid with Bipolar Disorder. I drove home and have never made any form of contact ever since. I even blocked all of his social media...Now he has his friends who I never really talk to randomly texting me to check on me since he can't get any access to my social media profiles. I own what I did. At first I was ashamed, but I don't regret it. I wanted revenge, I wanted to make his life a living hell. I wanted him to suffer the way I did. While I didn't get him to suffer or at least him to show outwardly...I know I causes havoc and chaos in his life. I will admit that ever since I've truly let go and stop giving my energy to him and focusing on myself...I find that I'm much more calmer, mentally stable, and less depressed.

Great video. Love this film. Can't believe Micheal Douglas didn't win an Academy award for his performance. Absolutely brilliant.

Thank you Dr. Grande for the breakdown. I am currently in such a serious situation. And you have described the behaviors my harasser/stalker down to a tea! She happens to be female and I am doing all safety measures that I can come up with to remain safe. Thanks again to help people in my situation understand better.

I have comorbid BPD and bipolar II. It took many years for this diagnosis. I have struggled socially. The depression of BPII pairs terribly with the chronic feelings of emptiness of BPD. No motivation to live, no motivation to die. But the idea of pursuing someone when it’s unwanted or if there are no clear signs that they’re interested makes me very uncomfortable and I have never partook in that behaviour. I guess that BPD has a number of traits, and therefore how a sufferer behaves can be quite different. I avoid throwing myself into relationships. I’m very cautious. Maybe it’s a different manifestation of avoiding abandonment. But I’d rather not make someone’s life a nightmare. And I treasure the people I have in my life.

I think it makes sense that a narcissist would be unlikely to be a stalker, they aren't capable of that level of obsession with someone not themselves. At least not for a sustained time, I'd imagine. Stalkers seem to be fleeing from themselves, pursuing their target and dedicating a lot of time to thinking only of that person, a narcissist draws people in with manipulations and tries to get attention, rather than give it. Does that make any sense?

Can you talk about how mental health may make someone feel physical pain and also vice versa?

Quite interesting in that I can totally see now how stalking can occur with BPD after your explaining. Great vid Doc & happy 4th if you celebrate.

Super interesting. Thank you 😊

Do you have other videos regarding celebrity stalking? My family experienced this during my childhood and I would like to know more about it. Thank you for making these videos, they’re very helpful. 🙂☀️🙏🏻💕

I lived this nightmare with my husband after we first met. His ex-girlfriend was on a mission to make us miserable (even though she lived another state and had remarried!). I contacted law enforcement and she is awaiting her day in court.

The movie: *Play Misty for Me* from 1971 is along the same line. Very scary.

Thanks Todd very interesting.

Hi Dr Grande! Thank you so much for all your contents. Can you please be very kind to explain what is "frustration complex within the Helen Fisher" theory please?

I was surpised by narcissim and psychopathy not being related to stalking behaviours, I would have assumed otherwise.

Thank you I learned a lot from your concise video.

Interesting discussion. The female who stalked my family fits the demographic description at the end of the video. I guess it's because this is about BPD it doesn't include discussion of stalkers who may also be as motivated by ego as by the desire to ensnare or secure an intimate partner, or to intimidate anyone who may be in the way of the primary target.

Hi Dr, I need to ask, how do you deal with stalking? A childhood friend reached out to me at the beginning of this year, and I had 2 conversations with her. Within the second conversation she called me multiple times a day, at all hours of the day. I just blocked her on social media and her number too. She would call me 3-4 times in a row if I never answered (which I never did). This was back in March, and all of a sudden she got a new number and called me, leaving voicemails etc. How do I deal with this? I hardly know her, within 2 conversations it escalates so quickly. I’m very concerned it may lead to stalking. (She has BPD). I hadn’t spoken to her in over 10 years prior to these two small conversations.

Thank you for your insight

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 THANK YOU!!

Remember the 80's song by the Police, Every Breath You Take? What we took as hopelessly in love back in the 80's would now be considered a stalker's anthem. I was never stalked probably bc people who are obsessive or overly attentive... creep me out.

As a Borderline, I have found myself to be the one who is stalked!"

As a teenager I had a friend who became obsessed with me, he stalked me, followed me, called home sometimes in the middle of the night to my house. He wanted me to be his girlfriend at any cost . I tried to explain to him I wasn't interested in him but he didn't understand why....after some time he finally let go and we became good friends. He had a girlfriend then but after some time se broke up with him and he desperately called me and wanted to talk with me about it. He had then lost a lot of weight when I saw him again. He had some issues about understanding other people's emotions as I remember now...

Think I have a problem. I knew I had a problem but now I am thinking it is more serious than thought prior to watching this video. Thanks Todd..

Thanks Doc. I feel better now that I know what to think about my stalker.

How do I deal with a female stalker? She knows I am homosexual and yet she's obsessed with me and can't stop harassing me night and day. Truly scary. The worst part is that there is no help for males victim of stalking since the social convention is that only males can become stalkers but not females.

How about compare and contrast reactive attachment with borderline?

Can you explain Celebrity Worship Syndrome (CWS) and if it is related to BPD or other mental disorders and what is the treatment?

I have BPD and I've stalked a man for four years. I repeatedly messaged him and followed him around. At some point, I've even faked my own identity so I could talk to him. I'm not proud of what I've done, but I'm trying to forgive myself and grow as a person. I believe I romanticized my behaviors, and viewed my stalking as a gesture of love.

My stalker used to stalk me and my ex in food co-op . She'd just pop up and start verbally attacking me, yelling "you are gonna pay !" and my ex never allowed me to report her.

Great analysis I did not realise that BPD can be linked to stalking. I think whether or not you have a personality disorder there is always a danger of becoming obsessed with someone, that one person you convince yourself you cannot live without ! My father used to say never dwell on anyone or anything, he was a very wise man. Going off topic slightly do you think Diana, Princess of Wales had BPD, I have read some stories that say she may have had some traits. It seems to me that she did feel abandoned when Prince Charles went back to Camilla, she was such a beautiful person, inside and out, and yet she seemed lost when he divorced her.

Interesting comments on this one. Lots of examples …

Thank you!

Unrequited love. Unreciprocated.

That’s what happens when you think that you’re “God’s gift” to the opposite sex. Been there. Could have gotten arrested. 💔😔 Thank God that behavior was dealt with! 😌💜🌹

Thank you so much for this video! I have been stalked before, and it is NOT a pleasant experience. I broke up with him b/c of his weird behavior. He "did" things to my car (I found very creepy - not going to describe it - trash at my car tires multiple times), found that someone had drained my radiator, received creepy phone calls at work where I was a a receptionist and he played recordings of TV material that contained someone calling the the first name of the boyfriend that I had after breaking up with the creep, and received a phone call from this guy at my MOM's house - and I had never given him her number. It took a long time to get that person out of my life. I am sorry for people with personality disorders, but some of them cross a LINE and there is no turning back from that line. Maybe I'm an ice queen, but I hold every person responsible for their behavior. Do I expect too much from people? I expect the same from my own self, so I don't think so, but then I don't have a Class B personality disorder. Thank you so much for this insightful information. I love your videos because they are all fodder for introspection and mindfulness in how I can be (1) more responsible in life, (2) more aware of the "issues" of others and thereby better prepared, and (3) more thoughtful as to how I can help others who might have these issues or who have been victims of the issues.

I have chanced upon many of your helpful videos and really enjoy them. I myself have been stalked by an enforcer of the law which put me in a self-decided precarious predicament here in the UK. The irony is, a few years ago I was prescribed with BPD which, in truth, was a blessed relief because I was a nervous wreck at the time. I have never stalked anyone and wouldn't harm a flea on a rat - I am more inclined to self-harm in various ways like cutting (and I cut deep). I am basically 'all bark and no bite'. I still don't really understand if this developed at a teenage stage or whether it was predetermined from birth as in some imbalance in the brain. I was relieved to have my diagnosis and actually shed tears of that relief - right in front of my elderly mother. I have received little to no help for it but that aside, I would prefer a more holistic approach. My stalker was probably in possession of a much worse mental condition because we were never intimate and had just one 'blind date'. Thankfully I was due to relocate so kept that quiet but everything you describe happened to me in spades. I think it is important in today's technologically advanced world to retain evidence but seeing as this guy was a police officer I was understandably reluctant to report him xx

what do you think about PUA or PUA style life coaching?

Not all Bpd is the same

Thank you, Dr. Grande. I have been stalked by more than one man. And continue to fly below the radar. You've accurately described *all* of the behaviors. I've seriously examined my *own* mistakes and worked diligently in Therapy. INTP, basically. It's so easy for me to see, comprehend and advise what *doesn't* directly involve ME. 🙃🐯

Scary stuff! That movie was insane! And Glenn Close killed it! Literally! 😂👍🐇

I went out with a girl who was borderline and it didn't end well, worst relationship experience of my life and I have my guard up when I meet someone now as I don't want the same to happen again

i think i may have stalked someone without realizing it. she said i was stalking but at the time I was just trying to figure out why all of a sudden there was no contact, to get closure. I stopped when she mentioned the word cyber stalking but I only tried once a month on different platforms, so it wasnt even weekly. I have moved on but I constantly feel super guilty and feel a need for approval. If i send a letter once a year knowing she might not ever want contact, is that super creepy?

I've been getting stalked by someone who apparently had learning difficulties. He has learned my routine and another neighbor's routine and he won't leave us alone even when his family has been contacted about it. Apparently, he doesn't understand yet he ran away when the cops were in sight right across the road? He knows exactly what he's doing and denying it.

This is such a good video... but it scares me how closely my ex fits into this category...1 year of no contact finally (after police involvement) but he still has the keys to the place I live and is apparently struggling with his BPD and his view of women...i worry about what more I can do to protect myself and family (apart from trying to get the locks changed). I read about something that happened in my city that haunts me to this day. A year ago, A young woman and her family were having dinner together, and (as they were considering getting back together) she invited her ex boyfriend to come along. He arrived and they all talked and spent time. Out of nowhere he pulled out a knife and stabbed her repeatedly in front of the entire family. He then killed himself. It happened so fast, both dead by the time paramedics arrived. The ex boyfriend must’ve been planning out and made a concrete decision - there was likely nothing she could’ve done to dissuade him.

It's odd because you said it's rare for men to be stalked and by a stranger. Like under 2%? I feel like no odds were in my favor then. It got so bad he ended up stabbing me one night.The very last of 6 months of almost constant stalking and scaring me. I was taking my trash out and he came up behind me, stabbed me in my back and ran off. I didn't get a chance to defend myself because I didn't even see him coming. It was the scariest thing ever just laying in the parking lot with blood coming out of my mouth and back I had a collapsed lung and spent weeks in the hospital recovering. Thankfully neighbors knew a little about what was happening and called an ambulance. I only met him once at a bar but I never actually knew the guy. Yet I had to deal with that idiot almost everywhere I went. I caught on I was being stalked after seeing him every where. He would follow me to the store, work, my parents house, the gym. It got so bad I thought he was never going to stop. He put scotch tape on the peep hole of my apartment door that way I couldn't see out of it. He would also put death threats on my door and it was a lot of awful intense writings. I didn't understand how someone I didn't know that much could hate me and get off on scaring me so much. He is now in jail and will hopefully stay there. Btw the police were hardly any help at all until after I was hurt. But after the fact in court I found out more details about him. Like who he was and that he had schizophrenia which he wasn't being treated for it and something in me at the bar attracted him but in a dark way. Also he said he had a sexual infatuation with me. Which to this day is hard for me to understand. Anyway I posted this just to point out that men can be stalked by men too. Who may be a stranger with serious issues. Even though I'm gay I never thought another man would follow me the way he did and put death threats on my door like that. He would also creep around anytime I was outside shirtless jogging or going to work. It was so weird to have a man twice my age trying to watch me when I'm just trying to go through my daily routine. On 2 occasions he tried to make his way into my apartment through the window. I never thought something like that would happen to me and I've never been the same since. I have very bad PTSD and have nightmares every night. I just feel like this was all so pointless. I'm not writing this for any reason other than wanting people to be aware of how real stalking can get and that it can happen to men as well.

Some females even stalk their ex 'friends with benefits' new and serious love interest....sometimes with deadly consequences. The Stephanie Lazarus case is probably a good example...

My boyfriends ex is a borderline and now we’re in a relationship with her ..Insert sarcastic grin...it’s like riding a rollercoaster. Depending on where she on the love-hate wheel is the difference between which one of us is the target of her rage. She moved about 30 miles away for a short time. Which is the best life has been. She won’t commit to others or she over commits and scares them off. She is the mother of his child, who is 19 now, but if we stop placating her, we’ll he does I don’t get involved or engage with crazy. Crazy always wins.when he reached him limit she feels abandoned and I’m the reason they are no longer together. This is over 3 years we’ve been together and she is escalating in the “loving him” phases especially. Just two weeks ago she was bold enough to come to my home. I heard knocking on the door but tapping. I thought it was my son being a jerk (he’s 13) I was screaming and then I got scared so I ran into the yard (my son & boyfriend were down by the river in the back yard) she walked around the garage ,oddly timid, but I didn’t recognize until she spoke and ask for him. I went off on her ..she scared me ..I told her to shut the fuck up and go stand in the driveway and she did!...pause like she was bold enough to come on my property then she takes direction like that. We haven’t heard a peep ..it’s scary ..anyone want to decipher the next move? ...she has done it all to me but in order to get my attention you have to either effect my ability to earn a living or take care of my child. She has tried and failed on both...but I kind of like to live, otherwise the other two are pointless..I ask my boyfriend what he did. For whatever reason she felt very comfortable thinking she could walk on our property. Like she must if expected he would back her or something so what is cooking in her melon. Baby steps were working to back her off but when she has a break up she rallies wanting his attention with non stop messages, telling him she will put the dogs down she kept after the break up, driving the son crazy until he takes it out on his dad..there is always something...I don’t think I would be safer leaving him as I would just take on another role on the wheel of delusions.

Dr. Grande, can you please do a video on the "INCEL" dark underground movement that relates to misogeny; it is very scary.

This may be a silly question and maybe I missed it in the video, but is it considered stalking if they watch you in your parking lot/follow you home/show up at your work but only a few times? Like thank God it didn't last for years and years, but I always thought of stalking as more of a chronic situation.

Another good example in the movie world is ‘Play Misty for me’. Chilling!

As someone with BPD I’ve actually met a lot of other very scary people with BPD. I’ve known one who stalked and fantasised about killing her ex and I’ve known a borderline man who fixated on me and said/did some really unhinged shit. I’ve been in DBT for years because I don’t want to ever be that detached from reality. I know we can get help and manage our symptoms, I wish more people in the psychiatric industry believed in us

Would the "flying monkey" and smear campaign behavior of narcs also be considered stalking, of a type, even if the motives are different? I have been subjected to that, and felt stalked, even though the motive seemed to be pure hatred/the desire to destroy.

Thank u for your video.. I was in a short term relationship which I ended in mid 2020. I explained to him in the nicest way possible and even wished him happiness and when he sent me a message I just said I've said all I needed to say and didn't want to go in circles and I said too him it was best we went our separate ways. He then bombarded me with many msgs and calls and I msged him the last time asking him to please stop as it was unwanted and the guy threatened me.. So I felt I had no choice but to 'ghost' him as he already had communication from me expressing everything.. Even though I had 'negative' reasons for breaking up I didn't want to resort to nastiness.. Seriously, he kept ringing me even though he was aware I asked him to stop and even had voicemail with background noise and once him breathing. Really creepy.. But then he stopped but then it would start up again.. Would go acouple months then missed calls again and now after about 3 or 4 months I got a missed call and a text msg, asking how I was. Then multiple calls and the last one was over a week ago. It's been on and off for 2 years.. So you get the idea? He sounds like he fits the Unwanted pursuit behaviour.. I'm frustrated as I have blocked him on other things like social media but I was told I would have to change my mobile number which I can't as important people have it.. So it goes to blacklist but the guy is still able to ring MY number etc.. He also knows where I live. I am now in a new relationship and I'm not sure if unwanted pursuits can be dangerous in any way? All I want is for the dude to cease contact as he's only torturing himself.. I NEVER responded or WILL as I have moved on with my life and I'm actually in a really good place where I'm doing well and I am happy.. It's not fair on me and I think he's being very selfish and stupid.. It's been 2 years and it wasn't even a longterm or serious relationship even.. Please don't ask me to communicate with him as I have nothing nice to say to him anymore... Apologies for the rant but I just needed to get that out.. I truly do not understand it...

I think we are getting to a situation where there is a label for everything. 'Unwanted pursuit behaviour' could also be said to be 'a broken heart' In a toxic relationship, the other party can make you feel as if you are addicted to that person. Who has the personality disorder then ?

I’m struggling to think stalkers aren’t on the psychopathic scale at all, or can’t be. Or I’m perceiving what you’re saying wrongly Dr Grande. Thank you for your video. 😊

Hi Dr. Grande excellent as always. I saw the netfliks documentary, and wonder what your thoughts were about his aquittal of the first 2 murders. I still felt he was guilty.

Please do the Hand that Rocks the Craddle.

I have all the 8 signs of bpd apart from self harm. And based on Dr. Grande's description of fatal attraction syndrome. it's highly likely that i have it too. I stalk excessively on random girls in facebook most of the time.worst is,i am establishing this very deep attachment to them inspite not even knowing them peraonally and holds very deep,painful grudges if they unfriend me.

What is the difference between a victim being unexpectedly confronted by or waited for by a stalker and “unwanted presence”?

I can see where this can lead to some real shit! Love is/can be involved. It doesn't always mean delusional love!✌🙏💜

I had a female stalker a few years ago she tried to have me killed and she terrorized me and my family and ruined my life.