My Dad would physically Kick me and punch me and throw me in the air across the room until his Anger cooled down. what did i learn from him, Anger, Anger, anger and hatred. sometimes i would be punished for doing nothing or even saying good morning, and got beaten because he was not in the good mood. i call him Man baby. now he regrets alot and cries to spend time with me. and i say fk off.

True but this type of punishment can’t be used often as parents don’t have that much time to waste every week. So it’s only like a one time desl

hah, mine used to pull out cords from the light fixtures.. not to beat me with it, but to shock my tongue when he thought i was fibbing.. that was the "light" stuff no pun intended. just an extremely mentally ill person that passed it on by force to my sister an i.

That sounds horrible

As a white person I had a wooden spoon and a belt. But it was only when I realy did smth dumb and crazy

I got caned and gaslighted whenever I misbehaved as a child ( I am Asian)

Honestly, I think that applies to white kids whose parents AREN'T immigrants

And then there's the parent that combines all of them, lecture you, beat you, then lecture you again, then dosen't let you sleep, THEN finally says disappointed in you and refuses to acknowledge your presence for a month straight I rather just go to maximum security prison in solitary confinement, that seems more humane than some parents

As a white person I got all the things you explained. I knew lots of pocs who had much more reasonable parents. Do not use your anecdotes as a basis for how the rest of the world works.

*crowd goes wild*

Patrick Star: *Boo!*

and started parenting all around the fucking room

I would've prefer this method unfortunately my mother went the opposite and try to force me up to her expectation when its clear I can't with her method. instead of learning anything good I just learn to hate schooling in general. Because what I learned is just equating her view with education and hating it. Thereby wasting my younger years, as I treat school as just something to get out of the way quickly as possible instead of it as an important part of growing up. My mom has mellowed out or just accepted reality and just go with what I'm only able to do as an adult even though she clearly view the work as subpar. Whenever she brings it up always end up in argument. Never really forgave her for it, and I made it clear to her when it is brought up

Oof both of these stories were heartbreaking to hear... I hope you both have supports around you who build you up and celebrate who you are. Just know, they judge you so harshly because *_they_* failed and they see their own worst in you (rather than seeing what is really there and who you really are). Hopefully, with time, they will come to understand that it was THEMSELVES they were disappointed with and not either of you. I am sure you are both lovely people doing your best, and that is all you need to be. Try your best, work on you and find a way to glow and grow for your *own benefit. With that base and control of your own journey and independence, you'll find those words get a bit more distant and little less hurtful. Much love and light to you both!!

What a cruel and manipulative thing to say to a child. Even in the best case scenario, she basically forced onto you an equation according to which her affection for you is positively correlated to your performance. Parental love should not be something you earn, and that idea is certainly not something you try to convince your kid is the case. You seem to have responded positively, but I hope you're doing good.

I can only hope i can think enough substsnce for 2 hours when i become a father.

He grew up in australia that gets the cops called on you.

LOL my parents yelled the whole day. Even while I was in the bathroom they yelled at me outside the door

@@dekumdoriya I was going to comment but this one had my mam beat by a landslide. We've gone a few hours, but never a whole day... Oof, the determination there~!

@@dekumdoriya I'd say my mom is guilty of that lol. Now I just chalk it off to the b**tch being mentally handicapped. She has made my life a living hell. She's the sole motivator of why I wanna leave my country. You have to constantly walk on eggshells and if there is even a 1% deviation in her plans, she goes absolutely ballistic, having panic attacks, mental breakdowns, unaliving herself, all the 9 yards. Being with her has honestly made me lose sympathy for all the mentally unstable parents out there. My mother shouldn't have been a mother, she had so many problems but had to conform to society's bs beliefs of having children and had me. Now I resent my mom and I'll probably throw her in an old age home if the time comes (sorry if I'm being apathetic, but after enduring 20+ years of torment, any form of sympathy or love goes down the drain).

that's where my brothers put candy haha

Also, for note, physical punishment and reinforcement have been decried as lesser parenting methods for reinforcing good behaviour in children for a few years/a decade now. It was already being shown to be widely problematic as a method when I was in highschool (early 00's). Intuitive parenting may sound like somecrunchy granola mom stuff, but its actually backed by science and the understanding that the PARENT tends to spawn or cause a lot of the bad habits and behaviours the kids exhibit. We need more parents taking proper responsibility for when the kids "eff up" in some way, because it's 99% of the time a failing of either the parent in oversight/teaching, or the kid in just plain cognitive functioning (kids are literally dumb and being angry at them for literally having under-developed brains and not having learned enough to know "stove hot" or "walls hard to clean" or "permanent marker ruins things" or "damage to apartment loses damage deposit and costs parents money"... is dumb. It's stupider for the parent to be actually mad. I mean, until they hit the teen years after 15 and start having less excuse. By that point, they've generally learned enough to know better on most things... which is how we end up with "teen problems" (drinking, driving problems, legal troubles, getting in fights, staying out late, sneaking out, etcetc). Even so, if you raise your children with an open quality that allows for a feeling of safety and security to talk to you about all things (which not becoming a potential violent enemy encourages) you find the kids do those things less in teen years. They party less or not at all, they have less interest in rule breaking and they're wiser with the substances. My sister and I are proof of that... Mom was pretty typical for a 90s mom born in the 60s. Except that she was ahead of the curve on the idea that parenting should be firm but open to discourse and built on trust and security ACTIVELY such that the kids understand the fact. It resulted in me avoiding a lot of the "bad stuff" when too young for it, I was often the one taking care of the idjits in the groups I hung around. I was often the one with the knowledge to help a situation. I was often the only one with a parent who could be called in an emergency without fear, to get help. I was able to call mom when drunk and not worry I was going to get my arse kicked (I was 19 by then BTW - legal drinking age here and was not interested in trying alcohol prior). I didn't touch the weed until I was an adult either, and that was not through force but education from her... she didn't shy away from the hard visuals, so I saw raw birthing video as soon as I got my first period AND I was shown, when I hit highschool age, what addiction looks like and what different drugs do to people... So I avoided those things until I was old enough to understand them and be responsible with alcohol and, now, weed. Parenting is best done on a sliding scale of careful consideration... Every blow has a negative reaction somewhere down the line, even if you don't realize the link. A lot of insecurities and feelings of anxiety are born early in the heavy hand of a parent who uses corporal punishment and fear to rule the home.

For real and I'm still deep dive to find that episode cause no way this was the first time he told that story

@@aceremo2 Episode 39

That's fucked up.

'bro' 💀

Man i gotta get the context cause some things could definitely warrant that

I remember my mom doing it for instant ramen and yeah.... that taught me to use my allowance to secretly smuggle in snacks and stuff and never breathe anything to my mom, so it goes two ways ig.

When im a parent i want to read a book of dissapointment at my kids 18th birthday,

Jeez… I’m so sorry you had to experience such abuse, you shouldn’t have had to suffer from the hands of the people who raised you like that. Hopefully, things are better now, but I know that those kinds of wounds run deeper than just skin deep. 🙁 you’re amazingly strong for getting through all of that and you deserve to be treated with tenderness and love instead of anger and abuse, never forget that ❤

@@autumnlove96able the abuse stopped several years ago when i was 14 , my father is now on medication so he is much more relaxed , thank you for your kind words it really means a lot 💗💗💗

That’s horrific, it shows she hasn’t changed and doesn’t regret it at all.

Bro u good, do need someone to speak too??

@@yasers. yeh I’m Ight it stopped when I got taller