On a serious note, fear tells me two things: A. I'm going in the direction I want because I have found challenge or B. I have something worth protecting, which may be myself

So, 7 months and 600k subscribers ago, I commented that Nicole Coenen’s channel offers the best kind of reassurance: “Quietly, even shyly, she offers many young folks the confidence that they too can hope to live in kindness.” With her thoughts today about fear, and openness to hope, and courage in ourselves, and therapy, she gives her community a lasting gift, a wise one. In the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the Solstice soon, after which the Sun spends minutes more each day with us. (Sorry, Antipodeans!) A good thing to remember when the long cold of January and February seems endless. January is named for Ianus, the god of doorways, entrances and exits, one face looking back, one forward. Over a million people listen to Nicole, who mostly chops wood, who is mostly wiggling-full of cheer. She doesn’t offer magical solutions, she doesn’t claim to be a therapist. She would rather haft an axe, hammer a blade, grind an edge. But she will walk alongside us, and speak kindness. I’m quite certain, Nicole, that a million voices wish you well.

Slow and steady, always moving, is what helps me the most. Thank you for your insights. May you and yours be safe, healthy, and happy!

So honest! At 70 I can look back at the things I didn’t do because of lack of confidence (fear) and those things I am so glad I did do, despite going way out of my comfort zone. I guess the best little ditty is that “ Life isn’t a rehearsal “. One chance. You don’t get to do it over again for real next time. I’m still learning that. Thanks, you are so wholesome and uplifting.

Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and insights Nicole! I can relate to a lot of it. I'm 33 now, but throughout my childhood and even into my 20s, I tussled a lot with the fear to openly be myself with others. I still talk it out with my therapist because old habits and feelings die hard. One thing I've learned to be is patient with myself and learn when I need to push myself versus letting things fall into place in their own time. As a very wise woman once told me - we are all in the process of becoming ☺️💚

My therapist has me working on this exact thing. Grew up in a 'walking on eggshells' environment, and being in a constant state of anxiety/fear was how I coped and protected myself back then. It's really freaking difficult to extricate your mind from that sort of thinking. Future-tripping is something that brings me an incredible amount of anxiety. I'm focusing now on positive affirmations... Like, telling myself to not live in the future, that I can live in this moment with myself as I am, that I am capable of dealing with things as they come, etc. I've found it actually helps relieve some of the tightness in my chest

This has been me at times. Sometimes you need to personify your fear. Walk her to a corner of your mind. Sit her down with a cup of tea and a fuzzy blankie. Kiss her on the forehead and say thank you for protecting me, but I’ll take it from here. I always write a letter from start of the year me to end of the year me with a theme for how I want to grow. 2023 was to embrace loneliness. Now I’m my favorite person to hang out with. Maybe writing it all out and coming back to it throughout the year could help. Be kind to yourself always.

FUCK! I needed to hear this! Thanks for facing your own fear and being vulnerable by posting this. I’ve been dealing with my own fear leading me rather than me just understanding that it’s only a feeling to alert me not to guide me. Seeing someone that has dealt with the same feeling makes know I’m not alone. I’ll do my best to raise above my fear so I can use the victory to help you raise above yours. ❤

Your message today certainly resonated with this 60 yr old man. Greater than 90% (maybe 99) of the fears that rage in my head and heart turn out to be baseless. The struggle is real for many. Fear can be a debilitating condition if left unchecked. What is worse is that, once allowed to run unabated for a while, it never goes away. It's always there and consistently requiring a frontal assault to be kept at bay. Here's three good bits to keep in mind: 1) What if... NOTHING is wrong 2) What's the worst thing that can happen? You'll fail miserably. 3) Most people honestly just don't care. This is not a bad thing, and I've found it to be a great relief to a lot of my fears. Bonus shot (an oldie, moldy): Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Go Get'em! 😊👍

your complete and utter confusion is what i resonated most with. It’s one thing to do the right thing, a whole other to know what that thing actually is.

Yeah I can relate, im 23 and feel like my anxiety still controls a lot of my life. A quote that I think relates, "the familiar is comforting, even if terrifying", because change is scary, so scary in fact that we will put up with the pain of what we already understand, because that seems like its a better option. But in reality, understanding that change, however terrifying and difficult it may be, will ultimately be good.

2 things: It is sad that someone as awesome as you experiences anxiety this way. But: it is a shared experience. It's immensely helpful hearing you talk about it. Thank you for being this open and vulnerable. It helps a lot.

As a person with generalized anxiety disorder, this resonates with me a lot, thank you for being vulnerable ❤

Courage is not the absence of Fear. Courage is living your Life despite the Fear. Don't worry, you weren't rambling at all. Your thoughts were clear and obviously genuine. Thank you for sharing your experiences. You're helping people feel less alone in this big ol' crazy world.

It is eerie how timely and welcome this message is; and for what it's worth, even though I only know you through light-hearted axe-based frivolity on the internet, I have huge respect for you, the way you carry yourself, the braveness of putting yourself on camera, and just being utterly and uniquely you. Thank you.

Nicole, you are so brave to publish this reflection. Perhaps the best value to your followers is simply the example of bravery that you give here. Thanks for doing this. You are a beautiful human on a wonderful journey!

Yeah, I get it. I've had an anxiety disorder for 10 years so fear is one of my main emotions. Ive also been to therapy and learned how to accept all the fear I feel whether it's useful or not. I still have a lot of work to do bc there's always going to be something I'm afraid of.

Thank you for opening up and sharing about this very human experience that we all deal with! I’m finding often the first step to getting clarity is just being able to identify that feeling as fear, and then being able to ask if it is a valid fear or not

Thanks for the positivity, Nicole. I appreciate the vulnerability especially this time of year as I often get trapped in a loop of self-doubt. Your message was very warm and is encouraging me to consider stepping outside of my box.

Tl;dr “I’m dating a girl I really like and genuinely liking her is making me try to fuck it up” Feel ya, lady. We’ve all been there. You got this

Your relationship with fear is your relationship with yourself. We all fear something and how we deal with fear is the difference between coping or living with the beast that it is. My ex was self-repressed about her true self, among other things, and had to have serious help to deal with the serious issues that she had. My late girlfriend saw herself as a warrior and lived by the motto “Live life to the fullest.” Maybe that was her way of keeping fear in check while she constantly challenged herself during her life. Live life to the fullest and live to be your true self. 🙂

woah, i was just watching a video about hypervigilance which is another form that fear takes. often, the tools we use stay with us past their helpfulness: fear was helpful when it was needed for safety, but when you're safe, what do you do with that fear? when you aren't exactly safe but aren't exactly unsafe, how do you use fear then? i think about this a lot! for me, i have a pretty nefarious paralyzing fear, which sounds similar to yours. i want to do things, and i enjoy them when i start, but the fear of all the consequences, of failure, of some unknown "big bad evil guy" - it makes it really hard to do anything. it feels a lot safer to do nothing, even when that isn't necessarily true. this very much resonates with me right now, and i'm glad to hear that it's not just me! i think we live in scary times, and more and more people probably feel the same.

Fear holds me back more than I'd like it to. I don't think there's ever a perfect age or time to face those fears, as long as you do it. Thank you for sharing Nicole.

When you said "I talked to my psychic" my weird brain heard it as "I talked to my sidekick" and now all I can think of is you and your dog in capes and masks, fighting crime and clobbering villains. Maybe that image can be of inspiration when your fears are acting like the Sinister Six again.

Yes, resonates. Thanks for putting yourself out there. In my 54 years, I have found that when fear starts to take over you need to try to separate the gut fear and the brain fear, I go with the gut fear and go to friends for support with the brain fear. You're doin' great, and if you're ever out Ontario way, you've got support here, not in a creepy way.

I have been letting fear control me. I realize this a bit more from this video. Fear controls me by alerting me when harm is near something or someone I care about, but it also can be absolute nonsense sometimes. I honestly have the fear of acceptance, accepting me into a group, accepting myself, accepting my flaws, never feeling accepted. The fear of acceptance is the reason why I don't talk about my anxiety and other problems to anyone I know, its the reason I keep hiding my worst away. All because I fear not being accepted. I'm gonna be honest here, I probably have nonsense fears that I haven't discovered yet. But I'm slowly building up the courage to tell someone about anxiety and many, many other problems I have. It's one day, or day 1. The days of working toward this goal of concurring this fear and others. To whoever is reading this, working towards a goal is amazing, concurring your fear is important, working hard is great but don't work until you break, take a break every once in a while and reaching out for help is brave. Whether its mental help, or any kind of help, it shows you aren't afraid to let people know what you need. Or maybe you are afraid of people judging or not accepting you because of what you need, thats ok. If you reach out for help thats showing you are brave for either concurring that fear or showing that you aren't afraid to let people know what you need. Have a good day to whoever is reading this, you got this (;

I am sure this resonated with many of us, thank you. Nicole is a person who oozes love, strength, and confidence and is brave enough to share she sometimes loses to fear. If we are to overcome this one step at a time; let's just think back to those qualities she has and take the confidence we will be more fulfilled on the other side..

you're not the only one I relate thanks for explaining it the best way you could

Wow, just wow. I'm feeling very, VERY emotional on this one! I've started following you recently because you seem like a really strong, inspiring person, and your videos taking place in the woods is really comforting ; and here, I wouldn't have expected someone as inspiring to be facing/or lived by the past, my actual situation. In fact, I've been stuck inside for now 2 months, unable to go outside by myself, to do anything "productive" or even creative. My brain just sort of... think again/overthink literally everything. Lately though, I've been working on that aspect by ordering a treadmill to get used again to physical activities for example, setting little goals (not too difficult to reach), etc... It's a really really difficult scenario, where I just feel unstable, lazy, not normal and worthless, kind of. But seeing this video is just heartwarming ; what I've been thinking of doing lately seems like the good road to take, and I'm glad to be able to relate to what someone as inspiring has lived, I'm so so glad Sooo.. thank you very much! Take care, I'll personally try my best to do so :>

Hi Nicole, wow and thank you for showing yourself like this, authentic and vulnerable... and therefore brave! I feel like your authenticity invites some back. First, you're adorable. ❤ Second, I'm a psychotherapist dealing with her own human fears and unconscious self-sabotaging processes. Living in fear as children really messes up our nervous system and capcity for reliable assessment. Listening to your video reminded me of the disorganised attachment style, where we're affraid of the very person we need in order to protect us, and that's the worst mindfuck ever. So with fear, when to trust it will protect us, and when to know it's harming us? Hugs from Romania! 🤗

Yes. This is as you explained. I think there is difference between danger-fear, like an angry dog, or walking through bad neighborhood, or if sy is watching you, and fear from starting something new, getting know a new group of people, trying new stuff. But you are already an explorer. You are lovable.

Your video comes at a long time coming junction my life. A couple weeks ago I finally opened up to my family about my internal struggles and just this past Monday I went to my doctor and opened up some more. From there I will be seeing a professional to tackle my deep seated fear and anxiety problem. It's that fear and anxiety, born out of a combination of factors, that has held me back for over 20 years - that's most of my life! The problem with fear and anxiety is you withdraw to someplace safe and then you get comfortable (and ultimately stuck) while the world moves on. That's where I am and I've had enough. I just want to move the f### on from the fear, the doubt, the negativity, the self sabotage and the indecisiveness. I can't get back those lost years, but I hope to make the most of what's still ahead. If anyone is feeling this way then please, please, PLEASE speak to someone. You might be bottling it up for a while - or a very long while like I have - but you have to talk to someone to begin to release yourself from what's inside. Don't hold yourself back by thinking they won't understand or that they'll dismiss what you're going through. Talk to a family member, a friend, your GP or a help line. Just by talking you're taking a step forward like I did. It's still early days for me but I feel better letting it out and taking the first steps on a new path that WILL lead me to a better place. I, and you, just need to be willing to walk it. Take comfort that you will be supported along the way and that a lot more people than you think are walking or have walked the same path as you are. Anybody who's ahead please send us your positive vibes.

It makes sense, believe me. More than happy to listen to your brain trying to sort through your thoughts. Definitely resonates with me. When I was growing up, I was absolutely terrified about officially coming out as a lesbian after having a not-so-great experience with a girl I dated back in college (I’m now 34). It’s a long story but likely where that fear originated and I’ve known I was gay since elementary school. It’s something I’m way past now but I had to work on it with my human therapist at the time, as well as my canine and feline therapists, holding them and just crying. It’s important to step out of your comfort zone, as hard as it can be. It’s soooooo worth it in the end. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing what’s on your mind.

Thank you Nicole, you are a real hero! This video really gives the community you created food for thought. Your video's are funny and entertaining but your humanity always shines through. I would like to add that to sense fear is a gift. Imagine being fearless, to have no self doubt and to live without introspection? I would not envy that person. Please be who you are, enjoy life and for now happy holidays.

Do not have fear, follow your Path. We all have a Purpose. Try and be the best Human Being you can be. Do what you can to try and make our Planet the Perfect Garden. It will work out. Cheers from White Rock BC.

I understood what you were saying. You are a great communicator😊 Gentle hugs ☃️

I admire your courage to have a You Tube channel and to bare your soul as you just did. God Bless you and Be well Nicole Coenen.

Not rambling at all! Makes perfect sense to me personally. Thanks for sharing this with the world. We need to get rid of the idea that we are the only one with these struggles. Thanks and happy holidays! Love your vids by the way

You can't be brave without fear! Beeing brave is so much cooler then beeing fearless and @Nicole Coenen seems to me like a hell of a brave women. Go on!

I wish I could give you a big hug, Nicole. Thanks for opening up and sharing your experiences with us. And congrats on a million subs!

thank you for this message. Lately I have stepped out of my comfort zone. I'm just hoping the end of the tunnel is worth while. It brings comfort knowing others have the same struggles/perspectives.

Hi, Nicole! First, thanks for sharing from your heart and life! That shows courage, in spite of fear! Second, as a fellow traveler in this struggle, find friends, which I realize also means being even more courageous most of the time. But life is SO much better when you have friends. I also understand that sometimes dogs are or at least seem to be better friends.

Here in the Netherlands there's and old saying: "Fear is the worst advisor!" I fully agree to that one. My personal advice from my life experience: live your life to the fullest and face your fears, because you can! Proof is that you made this video about fears. 😉 Furthermore: let courage be your sword and let love be your light! Godspeed, Nicole! 😀

Well, Maple, you struck a nerve here. I think that most of the people face the same problem(s): we think too much, we try to organize, prioritize too much, and eventually, try to understand too much: it can be sort of paralyzing. But at the end, we all have to find our solution, somehow. Fear can be a "fuel" or a danger, it depends on the mindset and the surroundings. Communication and friends help definitely. And yeah, it's a journey, definitely not boring ; welcome to the "party" ! all the best to you!

Was it just me, or did anyone else want to give her a hug? She was very brave to expose herself to us strangers. I am impressed and humbled.

Thank you for coming out of your shell! You're a great person! You mean the best! I'm a 40 year old dude and have followed you for awhile! Not always easy to speak what's on your mind. Love your message! Merry Christmas! And thank you!

Wonderful thoughts Nicole. You’re doing great and keeping things real, which is an absolute blessing. Keep being you. I love what you do.

I dont think you could understand how well timed this was for me. I have always been an almost straight a student through school and when my grades dropped in college cause obviously classes are harder i developed a crippling fear of failing. I was majoring in mechanical engineering and at my school any classes that are prerequisites to other classes require a C or better to move up. So even the saying Ds get degrees doesn't apply. But this semester brought me face to face with that fear, cause i failed 4/5 classes (i think, grades haven't been released yet). It has led me to a different fear, not fear of failure but fear of existing through the rest of college just surviving and not really living and thriving. Im now looking into switching majors possibly industrial design, idk, as long as im not taking the 15 credits of math and engineering courses next semester i will be alot happier. I dont think there was an element of self sabotage, but i think it was a breaking point for me because i dont think i was in it for the right reasons. Heres to hoping my switch to an almost entirely art major goes well. PS 8am multivariable calculus classes should be a crime

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. “ -Mark Twain It’s a phrase I take to heart when my imagination gets ahead of the facts in front of me.

My fear has always been of abandonment. No childhood memories of my Mother and no good ones of my Father. Led me to a life of being defensive, building walls and never letting anyone in. On the contrary, also gave me a reckless “don’t give a fk” attitude. When it comes to doing crazy stuff, I’m in, the more adrenaline pumping the better. Self destructive habits have also been my M.O. I’ve had many people tell me that the only thing standing in my way was me because of my defiant attitude. I’m a mess!!❤ Love you and your videos!!

Congrat on 1 Million sub !! Youp Youp, get yourself a nice shot of light pure Maple syrup . About fears: it's like the smoke alarm, sometime it's beeping for over cook toast, sometime it's beeping over opening the wood stove door to fast and sometime, rarely, but sometime their is a real fire going on. You just have to learn, and trust your guts, to know when do you leave the house runing out naked in the middle of winter and when do you just take the battery out. It's a learning process based on your sucess for each time you made the right choice. 🙂

We needed fear when we were cavepeople and it kept us protected. We have evolved. Fear and love cannot live in the same space. Please insert love where ever you feel fear. I took a course to help me become an evolutionary- recognized fear kept me small and contained. I broke out to the unknown and trusted the universe had something way better for me when I knocked the walls down and wrote two books working on third. You are fierce and an evolutionary and I can feel your courage as bright and inspiring! You are a rock star and I love your videos!

It actually makes perfect sense to me because I experience the same anxious fears. It definitely helps to clarify which ones are necessary and which ones are over exaggerated but don’t deliberately relive them over and over because that will make you spiral into depression and that sucks more.

You were absolutely correct. Fear Recognization the fear that you have and moving through it despite of it, that’s courage.

Fear ruled my life early on, life was/is scary. As I got older I found the best way to deal with my fear was to be honest with myself and to learn more about the things I feared. Learning about things that you fear can help you respect or even love that which you have feared. Being on my journey to deal with other humans one thing has stuck with me, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering" but with knowledge, humility, compassion and understanding for others we can start help reduce the fear.

I've always been a kind person, and never understood why others weren't kind, especially at school. I now know that those who aren't kind have had others being unkind to them. They use aggression to make themselves feel strong, but then they sometimes worry about consequences, and aggression ramps up further . . . Never be unkind.

In my experience conquering fear has never happened. I have deep seated fears based in childhood violence and ADHD. The time when I became more confident and serene occurred when I learned to cooperate with the fear. When I found deep in my bones that it actually was trying to help. So, I still have fear but, like the big scary dog, it is my fear now and we work together

I can relate. I'm stuck in a job I hate because I'm afraid to try something else. I never go out because of social phobia. One of my favorite quotes has become "The best things in life tend to be on the other side of fear." You're still young, I hope you keep fighting it. And don't start drinking.

ok i feel seen. Ive never felt this before and its scaring me... I never thought that there was anyone out there who was... just as scared of shit as i am. i kinda need this cause ive been in this really dark and lonely place lately and this kinda help me get out, even if it was for just a bit. as a person with anxiety and shit... this is me everyday. when i first came out to my parents, i thought i was dead meat. cause i live in a very catholic household. my dad was pissed. hes ok with it now but everything takes time. and we dont have enough of it. im always so scared that something bad is going to happen to someone I love and it scares me so much. like i never know if they are going to be here tommorow and its something that causes my sleeping issues. i cant sleep till i know they are safe. and i never know if they are safe so i dont sleep much. im so scared of so many things and sometimes it all kinda takes over. i dont even know if im gonna wake up tomorrow. live with no regrets right? live life to the fullest. thats you Nicole. your so happy and free. i wish i was free. i get these emotionaly spells where i cant do anything but cry cause its the only thing that takes away the pain. i hate pain. and constantly feeling others pain and emotions is hard. sometimes i choose not to feel at all. i cant even tell if what im feeling is me or someone elses emotions affecting me nd its scary as hell. cause if i dont feel i cant get hurt right? yeah right... anyways this sort of helped a bit. might not have been much but you reminded me that fear is ok. it keeps me safe. and safety is something i need. i dont have a lot of it. Im so happy im not the only one who feel this way. i have found my group of people yall are right here. so thanks guys really. i feel safe here. so thanks really. you guys are the best. thank you so much i really needed this...

I almost became a hermit because I kinda developed agoraphobia. Leaving my apartment on some days is the scariest thing I can do, in that moment. So, I decided to start going into town and walking around, aimlessly (I live outside a major city in the US). I hope to learn more of the city, while getting exercise and helping my mental health, so I don't become a hermit. Fear has kept me from a lot of things in the past. Especially recently. But, I'm doing my best to overcome it and get to where I want to be in both life and my mental health.

Nicole, your insights on fear resonated with me, but from a different angle. I've always approached fear head-on, believing that directly facing it is the best way to diminish its power. Your journey reminds me that everyone has their unique way of handling fear. It's empowering to see how you've navigated yours. Your openness encourages us all to embrace our personal strategies in dealing with fear. Keep inspiring!

This really helps us as the viewers connect to how human and similar to everyone else but talk about the things that no one talks about and this is so good that you are doing this. Love the videos keep pushing thru your fears!

Thank you for sharing that. As someone with depression and generalised anxiety disorder, i truly understand how you might feel and how it hardens living life to the fullest. I am proud you are conquering your fears. ❤

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Another wonderful moment with you and your thoughts in the wilderness. Comfort zone-shocking, another great maul you could forge and mod for your life! Thank you.

I fall into the trap of fear and then self-sabotage for my whole life due to so much trauma. I'm 40 and I fear I've wasted my life because I've not followed my dreams due to that fear. Thank you, Nicole!

One thing I’ve been doing to combat self-sabotage is positive affirmation, specifically these two statements: 1) I allow myself to be happy 2) I let worry go It’s perfectly valid to feel fear and worry, so if you overthink a lot (I’m getting better at it haha) just simply acknowledging it and allowing it to pass can do wonders And of course, allowing yourself to enjoy the good things! These have helped me a lot, so I hope it helps someone else out there :D!

I'm autistic and relate a lot to your fears of people and doing new things. For years I was afraid to do things I might find overwhelming, but I'm starting to realise I've got friends who understand and support me and maybe it's ok to sometimes get overwhelmed around them. I've been socialising more in the last couple of years, and sometimes it's not great but sometimes it is, and even when it's not I know I can just go home and have some quiet time to recover. I'm trusting myself more to be able to cope, and I keep being surprised how good I am. Thank you for sharing this it's nice to see a side of you that's as vulnerable as me, maybe I too can be an axe-wielding bad-ass some day

When I was about your age, I as well felt many of those fears you've described. I think, it's quite normal for any emphatic people. Less self-reflecting people don't have this "problem" , they are often more robust, but unfortunately as well in relationship to others. But it's really important to overcome those fears, as in retrospect, they give rise to a lot of disadvantages, simply hindering your personal and work life. That's also the message, or education, we tried to convey to our daughter, mostly with success, I guess. It's good, that you use a psychiatrists, psychologists, or else for help. Myself, I was able to get rid of most of those fears by myself, but only since I overcame near deadly terror by a superior later on, in business life, I'm not afraid of anything in this life, anymore.

My life with fear is associated with ptsd from my time in the forces. It’s an everyday battle I have to endure and I understand the confusion it can cause. 1 day at a time lassy, 1 day at a time. X

thank u for sharing ur insight into fear. I so relate to growing up in a fear state. I found I tend to go thru periods of growth and then I seem to settle into a new level of self awareness and I grow comfortable in that new state of being. But old fears have a way of resurfacing in new ways and eventually I am forced to self reflect and take the next step of growth. I enjoy your videos. I see a lot of courage and self strenght in you and the journey you have undertaken. Sometimes I forget how far I have come and it's good to be reminded about the journey thru one's fears. Hard but well worth it.

Fear is a very normal emotion that everyone goes through. It may be because you or someone you love is genuinely in danger. But it also may be because you are about to do something that will change your life, wether it’s for better or worse. A little over a year ago, I was terrified because packed up my stuff and left my country for a job opportunity in the U.S.. At the age of 27, I had never been on my own, with no family or friends and in a completely new place, but it was a necessary change in order to grow both professionally and as a person. And it was worth it. I may not know what you are going through, but I have to believe that once you overcome it, it will be worth it. And talking about it so publicly is a good step forward, so I applaud that.

Wonderfully spoken, so insightful and open. Those within your personal circle are honoured and blessed to have you as their friend. I've gone way out of my comfort zone so many times that I now just call it 'adventure'. And isn't that what life is all about?

Thank you Nicole. We all have fear. It can consume or push us to better things. It is a delicate balance.

Fear of physical harm is one thing but fear of what others may think of you is a waste of time, one of the best things about getting old is you don’t care what others think of you anymore, I know who I am and I consider myself to be a good person and if you don’t like me that’s your problem. Keep up the good work you are a beautiful person and have nothing to fear ❤

Anxiety about whatever part(s) of our lives is one the most destructive things ever. To learn how to control it, or not let it control you, especially with ADHD brain, is the key to a decent life. Talking about it is the most important first step. Thank you!

So many words of inspiration!!!! Much love from the tip of the mitten state!!!!

Let go of of all the self sabotage and open up to your inner self! You are a well of inspiration to a growing audience! Love and blessings 🫶

When you hear a bear snuffling behind you or the bark of a wolf, that is real immediate primal fear. That sets a perspective and a fairly good limit on the fear scale. I think that experience shoves a lot of the other fears much farther down the scale and makes facing them easier.

There is nothing more satisfying than pushing yourself to do something that you normally wouldn't do.

Nicole.. the word you are looking for is "ambivalence" And you're 100% right.. learning how to control your fear to bring equilibrium into your life is tough. Fear.. it's a blessing and a curse. 😁 Stay safe Nicole 🙏

You're doing great! I grew up conservative Christian, and it is crazy how much fear we were raised in. Learning to trust that we can make our own decisions in life without failing merely because we went off the reservation, is a huge fear to overcome. But it's so worth it. 😉

I was an anxious kid, a miserable teen, and life has gotten better with each decade since. But getting out of my comfort zone is still difficult even though I know how good it is for me. Keep on keeping on Nicole!

I recognize much of what you describe from my own life. I too have been pushing myself beyond my comfort zone. I too explored this through therapy. I too went for a colder, more rugged and beautiful place: in my case, Norway. Where I am now, I try to listen to my fears and understand them. Where do they come from, what do they tell me about me, my needs and my desires? And I try to make a decision that works for me. I want to grow, I want to live. And I also want to love myself and give myself the comfort that I need but have so often denied myself. Sometimes that means taking that big scary step (which then often turns out to be scarier in my head than in reality). Sometimes that means giving myself time off and not pushing myself to the extremes. You say it's a journey. And that's a good metaphor. Me, I love Alan Watt's metaphor for life: it's a song, and we're singing it. Wishing you a beautiful song.

Nicole… you are very insightful and have wisdom beyond your years. I enjoy your humor, honesty your down to earth attitude. Regarding fear…the way you handle an axe will fend off any physical danger. The fear we generate regarding ourselves is another matter. I think you are quite courageous for openly discussing your thoughts about fear. It has its place, but it can be overwhelming. I have had a lifetime of experience (72 years) and fear has been part of my world view. I’m not overwhelmed by it but it’s a part of my personality. I survived a military deployment at 18 and different trials but all told I did OK. You deserve the best!! Take care of yourself and give your pup a pat on the head for me. Thanks for sharing your story with us!

I understand your thoughts on FEAR. I follow a path that has different teachers or Gurus to guide me. One of these teachers is Lao Tzu. He wrote a series of chapters on life and collectively called Tao Te Ching. One of these chapters states, " You have nothing to fear, but fear itself." You say you need one aspect of fear for safety. I would change the word fear for awareness. You are searching. Keep looking, and you will find what it is that is going to happen. As Lao Tzu also says, "What is, is the was, of what shall be. Blessings at this Yuletide.

There's no manual to tell us what to be or how to behave, so all of us are just making this stuff up as we go along. You, Nicole, give the impression that you are making real headway in fighting your fears - in fact, standing in front of a camera to even talk about it is more than I (and many others, I suspect) would be comfortable doing. And you look really happy doing it, too. Have a great Christmas and a happy, healthy, peaceful 2024.

Hi Nicole, thanks for being human , u r a good spirit, and a good teacher in life,,....

Incredibly candid. So refreshing! Thank You! ❤

As a 65 year old I couldn’t explain it any better, but it does get easier to sort out and sometimes you just need to say to hell with it. Stay strong 💪🏻

I know self-sabotage quite well. For me, partly it has come from overheeding fear, but also partly from the lingering voice of the doubt and over-criticism I got growing up ("you can't do that, it's unrealistic, that's out of your league, rich people do those things but we ain't rich, keep your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed, you're too weak, you aren't as smart as you think you are," etc.). This turned me into someone who didn't believe any doors were open for me or I could open any of them for myself. It took years to break out. I still struggle with it from time to time. But fear, yes ... that, too. Last year, at 40, I took a couple of big plunges against my fears. I came out (bisexual) after way, way too long in the closet. I dealt with the fallout with my father, who was the reason I'd stayed in so long (see above, re: what he's like). I went out on the road and lived for a few months out of tent and car, which I'd wanted to do in my twenties. I've lived rough much of the time since, and I haven't always loved it, but I'm not afraid of it as I once was. Where did that fear come from? I imagined I'd only be prey to people. I was also raised with the idea that most people are basically evil and, if you look weak, they'll rip you to pieces to get what you have. It's amazing how little faith I had in people. Of course, when I really put that idea to the test, reality disproved it: when it's clear to them that you're in need, in fact most people are very kind. Never guessed fear and self-sabotage were obstacles for you, Nicole. I know "badass lesbian lumberjack" is a presentation you curate for an audience, but it works because it's also just true. Thanks for giving us one more peek behind that curtain. Best wishes for your growth and tackling your next challenge! P.S. All that snow looks fun! :D

Absolutely resonates. I'm 61m. I stutter. Have mild tourettes. I started indoor rock climbing 11 years ago. I constantly tell myself fear DOES NOT EQUAL actual danger. I convince myself less often than I like. But I do convince myself many times so I keep saying it.

You are growing wise. It took me 50 years to deal with fears my 19 year old self developed as far as trusting others.

Wishing the best on your journey. In my mid-twenties I started using “all means available” to deal with my fear and anxiety. It was been well-worth the effort.

Fear itself is not the problem, it is the way we react to the fear, because that reaction can happen when we mistake excitement or even happiness for fear.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us. You are a beautiful person. You have this glow that brings joy to so many. Thank you for being exactly who you are and doing what you do.

Yes, your message hit home and is something I needed to hear. And trust me I'm not lying. Thank you for caring enough to put things in prospective. Fear is holding me back from applying for new job. Fear causes me to make excuses and is keeping me from learning who I really am. Thanks for sharing you thoughts and honesty.

Oh wow! What a lot of comments in such a short space of time. Thanks for your message Nicole. I have noticed over the last year that I have developed social anxiety around large gatherings of strangers where I'm expected to make small talk. Maybe exsasperated by the many months of lockdowns over the last few years. Thanks for the encouragement to face those fears and work towards conquering them.

My teenage son really needed to hear this in a way that resonated. Thanks, rambling and all. I think of fear like a flame: far away it’s not super helpful, closer it can light the way and keep you away from a fall l. Closer still it can keep you warm even. Too close and well you get burned. Now for him and I to talk about forgiving one self for our shortcomings.

Thank you for sharing. You have made an enormous contribution to mental health awareness here. Many people when talking about fear and anxiety have a script and are controlled; all things fear make you lose control of. Those scripted videos are kinda unbelievable because that control. Your rambling stream of consciousness here showed how hard it all is. Thank you so much ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍

In a wierd kind of way that made sense to me. I think in due time Nicole you too will do like a lot of us do and face the fears that hold you back one at a time. That also goes for your comfort zones. Maybe the comfort zone breaking will help you face and concure the fears that hold you back. Thank you for sharing this video with us. Please have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Have fun take care