God bless you

💔🙏

Keep on going ,one step in front of the other ,you are not alone !!!!!😑🇬🇧

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Nothing he did was your fault. All of us in your situation go through the "guilt trip".....I still feel it 29 years later. And if it had been that day it would have been another. Live your life with you head held high.

Thank you for sharing this with me Theresa! I am so proud of you for bravely putting that bat down!!! I would give anything if I could go back in time and tell my loves to put the bat down and stop beating himself up but sadly it's too late. I speak to a lot of people that are new in their recovery journey so if you don't mind I would like to share your words with them to keep them from carrying their bats.

@@tinacrawford7644 Of course you can. If I can help one person who is struggling with addiction, then that is all that matters. Thank you for personally reaching out to me, Tina. What a gift I woke up to this morning. Sending light and love to you and all who are struggling.🥰

@@theresamiller4964 You are spot on. Addiction is not the problem. It is a symptom. One must be able to forgive ALL others for the scars they have put unto you. ALL of them! Once you do that you realize that forgiving yourself is also possible and the importance of being kind and loving to oneself. Within this newly found space inside you love and forgiveness supplant the need to self-medicate.

​@@tinacrawford7644 a different story but same result. My husband and I became addicted to prescribed pain medication for legitimate reasons. The problem was back in the early 2000's, Doctors were handing them out like candy. I am very aware of how ignorant I was for not reading the pamphlet that came with my prescription but to be honest, I trusted my doctor. I did NOT KNOW that by taking pain meds that it was no different than using heroin. We became heavily addicted and of course learned this after becoming addicted. Our kids watched us take them. Then when the doctors stopped writing we got on suboxone and slowly weaned. As a result (I feel) his son (my stepson) who I love very much started taking pain pills and graduated to heroin. He was 19. He told us and he stopped. Later, he went to buy what he thought was a xanax from a friend to help him sleep, unbeknownst to us. He died on July 22nd 2019 at 19 years old. I will NEVER pretend that I can truly understand how my husband feels, I can personally tell you it was the worst day of my life so far. The guilt, the shame, the feelings that it's our fault which I firmly believe it is. Another thing I have realized is that if I were growing up in this day and age, I and alot of my friends would be dead. We experimented with Marijuana, cocaine and ecstacy. Now, my mantra to ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN IS ONE PILL CAN KILL. I am so very sorry for your loss and wish there were more people like you who are willing to listen and learn about how VERY DIFFICULT IT IS TO STOP ANY OPIODS!!! May God Bless and keep you.

You should be so proud of yourself !!!!!!🤗🇬🇧

good and understanding partner? if she was so good and understanding, she wouldn't have kicked him out, made him homeless, and then refused to talk even one word to him in the last 3 months of his life. She was consumed with anger and didn't support him when he most needed her support. Addicts don't deserve to be punished when they relapse, they need even more love and support

@@braetonwilson4296 she can do whatever she wants. "Good and understanding" doesnt mean being a pushover and sacrificing your happiness for someone else. You sound like someone who's always the victim

@@braetonwilson4296 nothing wrong with having an ultimatum and boundaries

@@dixoncider5046 When you truly love someone, whether that's your spouse or your child or your parent, you can sacrifice your happiness for their survival. I struggle with food addiction and I know how shameful I feel when I relapse, the last thing I need is anger and punishment.

@braetonwilson4296 That's some serious bullshit right there! Everyone... EVERYONE ..has boundaries, and they absolutely have a right to set them. You can love someone deeply & still need to set boundaries. She is a strong, caring lady who clearly did the best she could.

Thank you!!! I cannot imagine my life without having had the love he and I had (have). I actually pray on the bathroom floor where Brent had his fist overdose all the time and thank God for the extra time he gave me. Many days over the past 575 praying in that spot is all that has gotten me through. I got to watch Brent totally transform his life! He helped me run our wedding venue and grow the business including physically building a yurt with our friend for overnight rentals and he started 2 businesses of his own. He became a humanitarian with a main focus on helping the homeless and people in recovery but also volunteering for anything and everything else I asked him to and always with a smile on his face, Fentanyl is stealing lives and legacy's and we HAVE to stop it! Parents that lose their children also lose the grandchildren their child could have had its absolutely Herat wrenching!

@@tinacrawford7644 that TRULY IS AN AMAZING LIFE AND STORY! It is so beautiful it deserves to be shared! I’m so glad I commented so I could hear more of your story! 😍 I am so sorry for your loss, but again, your story is so unique in how you presented it. I understand people are grieving, but along with sharing the dark times, you made sure to really emphasize the wonderful dreams and love you both shared. It touched my heart tremendously. I started watching these fentanyl stories by chance. Since watching I reached out to a police officer friend of mine and said: I don’t know anyone who is using fentanyl…which means someone I know is hiding their use of fentanyl. It’s too wide spread, and I want to know how to use Narcan. My friend is going to make sure I am trained up and prepared to help. It is truly devastating to hear all of these stories. I have 5 young nephews, and things have changed so much. I fear for them during that experimental phase all kids go through. I also fear for people in general who have no idea what they are taking. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of life, but this is not a mistake I want people to make. I hope by watching these and educating myself, I can make a small difference to someone. Even if I never use Narcan, I can educate others about fentanyl and encourage others to learn more. The more people we have prepared to help, the more people we save. Even if we can’t save them forever, we can extend their lives and encourage their love and dreams. These are not “bad people.” Thank you for taking the time to share more of your personal story with me. I find it so beautiful.

I’m sorry, I know your comment and video is from 7 months ago but I just recently stumbled across this channel. I went down the list of videos and added some to my “watch later” list. Watching the video, before looking at the comments, I could tell how much the two of you must have loved one another and I could see just how much of a loss this is for you. After seeing your comment, I just hope the grief has gotten a little easier to deal with day to day. It makes me angry to see SO MANY parents, siblings, spouses and the best of friends left torn apart by this one thing! The one thing that is being used for many different reasons. It would almost be unbelievable that something like this is causing so much devastation in every single household, in one way or another, across the world if we didn’t actually see it for ourselves. I’ve watched more of these videos than I initially thought I was going to but each one of them hits so close to home. I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending you love from small town Louisiana 💞

Wow 😢

Not only drugs but a sex addiction as well!!

Thank you for watching! Had I known then what I know now about the disease of addiction I would have never been angry with him I would have wrapped my arms around him and talked through what he was feeling. I openly share my regrets with others, so they hopefully never have to live with similar regrets.

@@tinacrawford7644 Thank you for sharing your story. It was not your fault. May God bless and comfort you.

Thank you for sharing your story and for watching my loves story! I am POSITIVE you were a great nurse and ARE a great person! Opioids have taken so much from so many and I am sorry it took from you too. Please rebuke that shame today once and for all as you are human and you made some human mistakes, but those mistakes do not define you so don't let shame either. Walk with your head high and with pride because you are an overcomer and that is a HUGE accomplishment! Love to you too!!! Blessings, Tina

May the Lord Bless you

Thank you for giving all of us your story. I wish nothing but the BEST for you. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. DON'T EVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU THINK OR FEEL ANY DIFFERENT. GOD BLESS. ✝️❤🙏🙏🙏

I’ve struggled all my life with addiction but unfortunately for me my family disowned me..I got off the booze ten years ago but switched to opioid addiction..I’ve been in treatment for 3 years and finally this year I’m going into a rehab to get off this horrible prescribed medication..It’s been one hell of a battle over a long time but I kept fighting for my children sake and my own...It’s been 10 years since I spoke with my family but I found the strength to keep fighting..I’m 52 years old and just wanted to comment to let people know there is hope and help out there and I hope you find it, you are worth it...❤❤❤

My dear, you are not your career. That is what you "do". You are the soul inside your physical body...so much more than your job, your house, your spouse , your family. Give yourself permission to make mistakes in life. EVERYONE does in their own way. That is how we learn , that is teaching us not to take that path again. Many times we even make the same mistakes over & over. Believe in yourself. Even King David & Saint Paul did awful things but were able to forgive themselves ok. Life is short...enjoy it & don't be hard on yourself!

Thank you! You just made my eyes fill with happy tears and that does not happen often these days.

She is way older not attractive was with him for the sex nasty he gave up.

@@maggiepena564 be respectful man

@@joedavis8831 THANK YOU for saying this!!!

@@tinacrawford7644 u welcome

YES!!! It is true that the disease of addiction doesn't care about age, gender, race or demographics it is everywhere. That is exactly why I share his story so people understand we have people all around us suffering many of them suffering in shame and judgment along with the addiction.

Thank you! We were a very simple couple living a very simple life together.

Exactly

Praise God I am so happy you watched the video. Please be careful if you are considering getting off suboxone as Brent was doing great on suboxone and he was not prepared for the cravings and temptations to come back as fast and furious as they did. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Be strong friend and know you have a disease you are fighting and it's a fight you have to fight every day and I believe it's a fight you can win!!! If you ever need to talk feel free to reach out to me.

​@@tinacrawford7644 oh Tina ty so much for your empathy and encouragement. Brent' and your story really hit home for many reasons and its probably saved my life. God bless sweetheart and pls know you are in my prayers.

@@sentwithecho Well then, I am glad I did it because knowing it helped you brings joy to my heart and that rarely happiness these days! I speak out like this with the goal of helping people just like you my friend! You have a legacy to create so stand tall and walk forward with pride and hope for a bright future!!! Life is life a race if you constantly look back you will trip and never win so run straight ahead with your eyes focused!!! When I met Brent he had just gotten out of prison he was so lost, so I got to see him completely transform his life in the years we were together. He helped me run our business and he started 2 businesses of his own. he built a yurt. He helped the homeless and others in recovery and so many other things. He truly was an incredible man and sadly the shame if his addiction took him away from all of us because he was to ashamed to tell us he had started craving. He was having a human craving so if you ever have the same SPEAK up! Talk to your family and friends and others in recovery to fight those cravings off. You are NOT alone in this fight!!!

@@sentwithecho Heya hun fellow Australian here, I hope you get to read this. I too am on the program but on Methadone not Sub, I'm on it for pain relief for spinal injury, used to be on oxy first but I was made to switch over due to the big crack down a few years back after 60mins did a big exposé on the over prescribing of it by GP's, also I work as a receptionist for a GP who also does scripts for the program so I know a little bit of what I'm talking about, (not trying to be a smart arse or anything just that I know some stuff that might help) Please please please DO NOT get off Sub if your not ready, it's the very worst thing you can do, also I'm not sure what MG's your on but I've been told by many people that once you drop down to just the 2mg strip your body starts to ache really bad and that's because it's right down in your bones and marrow and it's starting to come out, so to speak, so when you think you are ready to jump off that's actually the time that you need to go your absolute slowest, don't worry about how long it takes it's better than failing. Once you get down to the 2mg strip, when you are ready to drop again go to half a strip for a month, then half a strip every second day for a month, then half a strip every 3 day for 2wks and so and and so on till you've completely stopped feeling sore. From 2mgs you should be realistically looking at around 3mths to be fully off. Good luck and remember, in your own time. ❤️❤️❤️

@@tinacrawford7644 I agree , as I watched this sad story on my TV last night but could not comment then , I been on methadone for 20 years , after only using pills for 2 years '2002 -2002' ; I would have moved to 'H' then but was always broke due to my severe social anxiety and drinking . At first I took a pretty high dose of methadone 120 mg , but say ? from 2011 -to 2022 I only took 30 mg a day , Many wanted me off it & I did as well but never felt ready , strangely as I told my counselor "I always wanted to try Heroin " Just to see what it was like , well by the time I knew someone close I could trust to get things like that ( Last April ) All I could get was Fent , I dabbed with that (Never Shooting & smoking the white powder only a couple times , for a few months . Honestly it never made me feel that good ( I wanted the energy the Oxycodone & Hydrocodone gave me in the early 2000's ) meanwhile my buddy would shoot a pinch and immediately fall out , I thought he passed a few times , I truly believe my 20 years of methadone saved me from the Fent by giving me such a high tolerance , I was still talking low doses of methadone the days I would snort the Fent even so the WD from the Fent was bad emotionally but not physically cause of the methadone . My point is I still craved while on methadone mainly after 5 + years but methadone blocked the high like suboxone does . Just in those few months I lost a-lot ( Mostly Love For Myself ) & my 30 Day Take Homes at my Clinic , the complete trust of my Psych Dr & staff after 14 years of clean screens . but mainly I'm Mad At Myself , I even snorted 2 Quarter inch lines around Jan 2 -23 , then failed 2 weekly drug screens at my clinic the last being on Jan 13 ( it was still in my urine 14 days later WOW! ) . I still crave for a reason I can not figure out , like your Hubby RIP I struggle day to day & I'm 51 y/o . God Bless. PS I have not drank since Sept 12 2002 . Thank God

Mine too!!! But we have to share them to spread awareness.

@T Raybern EXACTLY!!!! But not just kids many young adults in college use Adderall to help stay up to study and sadly the cartel is now making fake Adderall pills laced with fentanyl. Basically NO ONE should take any medication they have not picked up from a pharmacy.

Thank you! The moment I got mad and made him leave is a moment in time I will never forget as we rarely fought and I literally yelled at him, so it haunts me knowing the last time we saw one another face to face he saw me angry like never before when I had always been his biggest cheerleader prior to that moment. My faith in God gets me through each day as I believe with all my heart had God wanted to save him July 24, 2021 he would have so I believe God took him home to stop his pain. Brent was on his knees praying all the time more than any many I have ever known and after researching the past 575 days I often wonder how many times a day he was praying to fight off cravings because he was too ashamed to talk about them.

@@tinacrawford7644 Awww You're Both Amazing, I Hope You Reunite in Paradise🕊️

@@sampsonnti Awwww. Thank you so much! I truly believe one day I will run into his arms in heaven after my work on this earth is done.

@@tinacrawford7644 Amen!🙏🏽❤️🕊️

Same. My father was a lawyer, I went to a private school had everything I could need and still I picked up heroin. Drugs don't discriminate.

I feel sorry for him and his family too but why does it matter that he's handsome? So if he was fat and old and short, it's OK for him to pass away? Women are so shallow!

@@braetonwilson4296 Yeah if he was fat it'd be okay he's dead. That's truth

@@dookiepringles9674 That's very mean and petty of you. Hope you change your perspective with time.

@@braetonwilson4296 I was just trying to compliment his good attributes in case the family reads these comments. You don't have to spend your time questioning everybody's intentions. I'm sorry if you are ugly and offended, but you really need to get a life.

@@braetonwilson4296 never change, I hate all of you

Thank you! He was gorgeous on the outside but honestly his heart was more beautiful! He had a heart bigger than the universe and he treated me as though I had hung the moon myself. I could not have asked for a better husband. God truly blessed of with a once in a lifetime love that I will cherish until the day I run into his arms in heaven.

Thank you so much! God would not let me walk through this pain without a purpose, so my purpose now is spreading the word to help others.

My Condolences ❤I’m going through this cycle with my baby brother it hurts so bad to see him addicted m. I just wish I can erase his need for the drugs 😢

@@lavenderblu253 I know your heart hurts. Never give up but also brace yourself. We have no control over their decisions or addictions. Take care of yourself. We love them but we cannot ensure the outcome.

I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP to your son and hope he's in heaven. How old was your son when he passed?

@@braetonwilson4296 34

​@@braetonwilson42961989-2021 do the math. You didn't need to write this comment to her. EVIL MUCH

I thought the same.

Yes, my loves was younger than me but God weaved our hearts together perfectly in an unexpected, beautiful way. I could not have ever asked for a better husband he adored me and I adored him.

Thank you, Greg! It is hard as I cannot go back in time but I can share my regrets with others so they can choose to research if they want to. My regret is I chose to think it would go away as my husband did so good as he was sober 95% of the 5 1/2 years we were together but now I know that heroin addiction never goes away it's like diabetes the person suffering has to manage it daily.

Thank you so much!!! He was a truly amazing man and the best husband and friend a gal could ever ask for so although I only got 5 1/2 years with him, I got to experience a love many don't ever get to feel in a lifetime. Yes, you are right he is not in pain anymore and that does give me peace on the hardest of days.

@@tinacrawford7644 Yeah someday you guys will reunited an be together forever ❤️ I had a guy friend that OD back in 2020 an he was only 21. I cant imagine how his parents felt. He was the 1st guy that my parents ever met. He wanted me to marry him but i wasnt ready he was moving tooo fast. But yeah its going to be almost 3yrs thats hes not here. I felt his spirit once. It was in my room. He was probably visiting to see how i was doing an going back to his otherside in the afterlife. Spirits do visit there friends/family which is nice. Your in loving memory husband probably checks up on you. Just like what my friend did that 1 time. An no problem ❤️ stay strong 🙂

Thank you for your comments. We also have a series of addiction recovery stories that you might find interesting. Here's a link to the playlist: From Addiction to Recovery - kzfaq.info/sun/PLdCPA32W_p39Z8hi7xSIX3Fkqmhd7mRzj

Congratulations on your recovery!! I'm on subs too and I might have to be on it for the rest of my life, but I'm OK with it. It works!! Eff what everyone else thinks, they have no idea what it's like.

@@aimeelucas7194 DITTO! Amen! God Bless You! 💜

You've been on subs for years? I'm not judging by why are you on it for so long?

Awe... Thank you so much! We truly were blessed to have the love we had for one another. We worked together, lived together and spent all our free time together. We were best friends and oh how I miss that!!!

Thank you. Honestly, I don't blame myself I know it's not my fault as he made the choice that day. I just live with some regret which is different from blame. I know God would have saved him again that day if he was meant to be saved but knowing and having the strong faith I have doesn't always keep the sadness away.

Yes, you are so right and that is why I openly share like I do! Addiction has been around forever and so has the shame and stigma of it so we have to talk about it so others do not have to deal with the shame or stigma of the disease they suffer from.

Thank you for watching. Yes he is at peace now and that does give me some comfort.

Another film in this series, “A Friend’s Perspective”, is also about Brent.

Thank you! Knowledge is everything so I share his story in hopes others that have loved ones suffering from the disease of addiction will educate themselves to better understand the struggles the addict faces daily. Sadly, I started my research 575 days ago when it was too late.

@@tinacrawford7644 You are very welcome. I appreciate you sharing your story. God bless you!

AWE... Thank you!!!!

Thank you!!! It is not easy for sure but I have to as I know Brent would have wanted me to use his passing to help others.

I lucked out to go clean before all this fentanyl tranq started Now it's to stay clean and sober

Hope you are still going strong ❤

You cant control what other people think of you nor the past. Everything happens for a reason and sometimes God wants us to know how completely we rely on him.

It’s to be expected that people cannot trust that an addict isn’t using anymore when relapse is almost inevitable and of course the lying. You can’t fault people for that.

That sucks but think of it this way, they ask "where is he?" because they care. If they didn't care about you they wouldn't think twice about where you went and what you're doing.

You are welcome! You are not alone!!! Addiction is a disease and those suffering from this disease deserve to be treated with love and respect and not judgment and shame.

Thank you for watching! I really was blessed to have an amazing husband and he fought a really good fight as he was sober 95% of the 5 1/2 years we were together. He absolutely hated his addiction, but you are right it is powerful even to those who hate it.

Thank you! I appreciate your comments more than words can ever express!!!

Thank you, Stacy, for taking the time to watch and comment it really does mean a lot to me!

You are welcome. I really appreciate you watching. My husband was beautiful inside and out and I truly believe his story has to be told to help others in any way possible. God bless you too!

Thank you for taking time to watch it. It's hard to share but I know my purpose is to share his story to help others and I know he would have wanted that because he loved helping others. One thing I know for sure is he did find peace as every day we told each other that the only thing we loved more than one another is God so he is at peace in heaven and one day when my work is finished on this earth, I will run into his arms again.

Thank you! He was always smiling and happy so if you didn't know he was in recovery never in a million years would you think he was an addict. Goes to show that this disease is hiding in plain sight all around us. I couldn't have ever asked for a better husband!

Thank you!!!! I know he is at peace and that does give me peace at times but at other times like tonight my heart just aches for him. I miss his infectious laughter, his forward kisses and the way he prayed over me every night before bed. Shoot I just miss "US" all the way around!

Thank you, Joanne! We were truly blessed to have the kind of love many dream of having. Guys used to ask him what he did for fun and he would say "I hang out with my wife" some guys thought he was crazy for that but we just loved being together in our little, tiny cabin snuggled up on the recliner together eating ice cream while laughing at the silliest things.

Thank you, Diana your comment really means a lot to me. Missing my loves so much tonight!

Thank you for watching and commenting. It's definitely not easy to share but I feel like this is the purpose God has for my life now.

@@tinacrawford7644 You are most welcome Tina. It has to be tough but I'm glad you feel it's your purpose now. I wish you much strength and love💛🦋🌹💌

Thank you, Valerie! My purpose in life now is to spread awareness about the overdose crisis and to stop the shame and the stigma of the disease of addiction. We have to fight against this evil drug and also offer hope to the hopeless so in a way that is helping me heal although my heart is still shattered as I love and miss him as much today as the day he left this earth.

Thank you! He had a heart as big as the universe and he was also the funniest guy I have ever met! We would laugh for hours in our tiny cabin over the silliest things. I miss the laughter every second of every day!

Thank you for watching. Yes, it is pure agony to think of the moment I turned my back on my love but I have forgiven myself as I know he would have wanted me too. I still feel I have to share my regret and pain though to help others not live in the pain of regret I now live in.

That is not turning your back, that is tough love. If you haven't lived with an addict, you don't know how much strength it takes from you. Sometimes you have to save yourself an make the addict choose; it's either drugs/alcohol or me/us, you can't have both, choose. It's intervention. My sister chose alcohol instead of her family. We had tried to help before. But there comes the time when the addict has to choose. This lady has nothing to forgive her for. She did what she could. She couldn't have saved him. I genuinely think she couldn't have. And this comes from experience. His in peace now from his demons and I hope this lady will keep her heart open for new love and live a happy life.

Nothing to forgive herself for. She did nothing wrong. Nothing. Tossing him out was totally correct. God Bless Her.

Thank you so much!!!!

Yes, indeed it is a struggle for so many people that is why I share his story with the hope it helps others that are battling this disease.

Cecile, Thank you for sharing this with me tonight I really needed to read this! I miss his smile and his laughter so much!!! I do believe I will be reunited with him one day and that belief keeps me going. I have let go of the guilt but I believe I am called to share my regrets with others, so they do not end up having similar regrets. I am sorry you lost your mother. I lost my mother too right before I met Brent so I often think of the two of them being together now and how I will join them one day.

@@tinacrawford7644 ♥️they will most definitely be there waiting for you with open arms. Then your love will and can continue. Souls and spirits can never die. They move on ahead. Thank you so much for sending a message. I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart. I still have such sad moments missing my mom, but then I know exactly what she would say to me. Then when I sleep at night, I hope that she will come for a visit. I also tell her, if it’s not tonight? That’s ok Mom, maybe another night. I know you are busy up there and it can’t always be about me. Lol. She would probably be smiling and saying ‘nobody loves me like you do Baby girl’ ( she always said that to me) I know she knows how much I miss and love her. She would be so sad to see me sad. That is always a reminder to me to push through. For her. Someone once said to me (it really resonated) ‘Your mom was not taken from you, she was given to you’. I hold onto those words tightly. They will all be there waiting for us. Let’s make them proud until then. ♥️They are always always with us.

Oh yes he was the kindest soul and I am so happy you got to meet him!!! You are welcome! Honestly sharing his story to help others is the only way I can get through day to day as I know in my heart Brent would want me to and I also know that it is God's purpose for my life now.

Thank you, Ann!!!