💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖 And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here: amandawebsterhealth.com/happiness-boost/

The survivor neither expects, nor even wants to return to America without a flag draped over him. The battlefield is the only place his emotional state makes sense.

I didn't see anyone mentioning it so I guess I will. The Army has a "buddy" program where you enlist together, go through all your training together, and are sent on your first deployment together. He was the one who talked them into enlisting, and he was walking point and missed the IED which killed his friends. Some re-enlist or volunteer for redeployment, some do it thinking they will feel better if they can help save others, and sadly a lot go back with a death wish. Every wife's greatest fear is to see the storm crows, harbingers of death, coming up the sidewalk. They come in pairs, usually a medical officer and a Chaplin. In a lot of ways survivors' guilt is worse than PTSD.

This song was a cover. The original was released in the 90's, by The Offspring. (This version is equally epic.) The song's author is named Dexter Holland. He wrote this from the standpoint of the death of a Significant Other. Today, Holland is a reknowned microbiologist. And he has made several groundbreaking discoveries, in the race to finally cure HIV.

I will say this. Survivor's guilt is real. When my brother came home, it was hard at first. He had been through so much, including losing his best friend to a sniper's bullet -- a bullet meant for my brother. Though I've never met his widow, if I could, I would tell her nothing I could give her is great enough to repay the debt her husband incurred for me and my family, when he took the bullet that would have taken my brother from me. Even now, I shed tears, because my brother's Battle Buddy is the embodiment of this: No man has greater love than this, than he who would lay down his life for his friends. ~ John 15:13 Johnny, though I will never meet you in this life, with all my heart, I say thank you for your sacrifice. It was not in vain, and you gave me back my brother by taking a bullet for him. Rest easy, Marine. You lived and died with honor. You are a true hero. And Amanda? If you would, I would make the request of reacting to a band called Ravenia. The song is, "We All Died For Honor."

This song for me is an emotional punch in the gut. I lost a very good friend that served in the same unit with me. He died saving my life. I miss you everyday Chris 😪, I will see you on the other side brother.💙

My brother-in-law took his life nearly 7 years ago and every time I hear this song, it makes me think of him. Since I only had sisters growing up, he was my first brother, and he meant so much to me. I cannot listen to any version of this song without breaking down in tears.

i was trained as a "combat medic" (FMF Corpsman) , but was "lucky" enough to get sent overseas to asia and partake in humanitarian aid and training (where we still lost a few to misshaps and terrorism) , but never had to witness or be part of combat. however before i got out i had filled my first hand counting guys I knew who were next to me in the pipelines , or had been patients of mine who did have to go and were taken. and since then ive nearly filled my second hand with those who decided to leave of their own accord. my grief is not even comparable to that of so many, but sometimes I struggle with what I "could have done" had I been there, and the happenstance of the odds that sent me one way and them the other. feelings of "why me" and "didnt do my share" are difficult to fully defeat, along with the weight of responsibility to somehow do more now to make up for it.

Hey Amanda, just wanna say I’m a recent viewer and I absolutely love what u do ❤️ keep up what u do, u won’t ever disappoint us

This video explains a lot of my PTSD....I know his survivors guilt that I have to deal with myself due to time in Iraq.... Thanks for being here with this reaction. Keep up the awesome channel. I will be watching!!

Amanda, I've been through the situation of having to deal with "Survivor's Guilt. " I'll keep this short... I was in a Mortuary Affairs unit in Iraq. The struggle is real. Our main job was to do S&R's... Search and Recovery. We rescued no one. Our job was to recover fellow Americans after they had been killed. I Drive Your Truck is a difficult song for me to listen to to this day. I came back from Iraq in 2006. Less than a month after returning, my mom passed away from cancer. I'm extremely thankful I got back in time to see her again. It does not go away. It does not get "easier. " I've just learned to cope with my feelings. I don't often talk about it. Not many people really understand the whole aspect of being in a war zone being shot at and your job is to do recovery In my case, for my fellow Americans. It's tough. Some days are better than others. I just found your channel and I'm liking what I see. Thank you. Jeff

Hey Miss Amanda. Thanks for doing this video. Memorial day is always a tough time for some vets. I love how you can always seem to break these songs down where it can help others. NEVER FORGOTTEN USMC

Thank you so much for your reaction! I’m going through so much mentally, I can’t say I haven’t thought of going home early. It’s people like you that are important. Its hard to imagine to have such anxiety and or depression that you literally feel incapable of even getting out of bed, afraid to leave the house. I’ve been dealing with this for over two years now. There are good days and bad. Thank you for reminding me to focus on the good! It’s so easy to focus on the bad, it takes a bit of courage to focus on the good and stand up.

Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your videos, they've helped me to process some emotions that I didn't know what to do about

They say the heros are not the ones that come back, but the real heros are the ones that gave their lives to save another

Been waiting for this one thank you for reacting

just found your channel and find your reactions so heartfelt. no matter how many times i see this video i always get choked up

Great reaction, just found this channel but really loving the reactions and analysis! 🙏

Five Finger Death Punch’s my second-favorite band and their music’s incredibly therapeutic for me. I also love what they’ve done for the soldiers. 🙏🏻🙌🏻🇺🇸🤘🏻

Thank You Sooo much for your channel. You ARE helping people!!!

I been waiting on this reaction. That PTSD episode in the video, it's a serious gut punch. All those pent up feelings just making you red line. It's hell. A hell i wouldn't wish on anyone. The rage, guilt, saddness. It's a serious rumbling in the guts and heavy pressure on the heart/mind.

ive only watched three videos of yours but the amount of emtions i felt let alone comment three times on videos as i have never really commented on anything before this, your a kind hearted soul i feel it all i know i keep saying this but i feel every moment of what your feeling, i have the utmost respect for what u have done and are doing pls keeping moving forward amanda pls much love and respect XXX

As a veteran I can tell you that it starts with wanting to be a part of something bigger than yourself. When you get there it becomes about you and your brothers who may not be blood but are more important. No one understands what it's like until you have to reclaim those dog tags and then learning your coping mechanisms to deal with the PTSD.

I have gone through so much in my life in a short time I lost my 1 moth son and my grandfather and been through so much more and yet I stand strong for the ones who are lost and the ones who are still here some days it breaks me bight I fight through I greatly appreciate you for sharing your reactions to a song that hits me so hard and the dedication you have to helping people I try to do the same to the best of my abilities

Your reactions are what needs to be mainstream, watching you with this just brings memories of my dad back and he did 4 tours in Vietnam but honestly, the one he wasn't prepared for was cleaning up the Jim Jones massacre. He says that event is what gives him nightmares, seeing the children forced to die. My brother, an Iraq war vet, he has ptsd and loud noises causes him to need to bark orders and such. He's even had a few friends who didn't make it back and that's the heavy stuff he hates talking about. But no. Your reaction, especially the second he pulled the gun out, is what America needs. That gut punch, and I am glad others feel this way. Ffdp is the only band that's made my family genuinely shed tears.

love you amanda thank you for all the vedios thay help me so much thank you

Hi Amanda, I just want to tell you that I FINALLY broke through the barriers of Depression, after 25 years of having it! Not many people can remember the exact moment they became depressed, but I remember the exact moment when I was 8, and my Nono(Grandpa) passed away at my 1st Communion Party. The next day I felt like there was a never-ending weight on my brain. I've contemplated ending all my misery 3 times in my Teens.

As a veteran I appreciate your highlighting this issue on your blog. I work a lot with veterans and know what they go through. I applaud your journey being so successful as well. Addressing the mental issues in this country is a subject that needs addressing and videos like yours will help bring it to the forefront is a good start at solving some of the problems.

This song brings back a lot of emotions for me as the original came out at my dark times.

As usual, a visceral and powerful reaction. Thank you very much. ✌️❤️&🤘

God this band is amazing! 5FDP has so many incredible songs, the emotion they put in them is off the charts.

Both of my parents are gone. My father called me in the summer of 2007 and asked if I hated him. I told him that I never hated him. Then he died the next day. My mother died on January 3, 2022. She called me on New Year's and asked me to forgive her. I told her that I forgave her a long time ago and then she died on the third. Always forgive and never hate, because life's too short to live with hatred and grudges in our hearts.

Hello beautiful souls, as a Vet to all the Men and Women who served in the Military Living Or Died.. I would like to tell you all I love you and thanks for your Contribution and God Bless You all for being my Hero

Listening to death punch has help me with so many issues during my life. The events I had to deal with it, nothing else could help me unless it was from death punch. Last month I made a video from my tiktok and it went viral across the whole world. The band seen it, and Ivan the lead singer said he’ll take me to the concert. I was afraid and stressing because I have never went to a concert in my life. And I couldn’t find any ride to the concert. When ivan let me know what he’s planning on doing for me, I cried. I felt so much better. And this is helping me because I was planning on committing suicide. I was feeling like nobody likes, and cares about me. I was dealing with my grandmas death that has happened last Nov 2021. For my dream coming true, it’s actually saving my life. I am believing and liking myself all over again. I have started to think positive and believe that dreams can happen if you put your mind to it.

Every one of your videos has touched me. Your insight is amazing. You are a 'Seer'. I have felt depression, but not that of an enormous weight. Music has been my salvation. I have loved your reactions...and I love how Nightwish has been able to pick you up when you are feeling low. Please remember that.

Thank you for this video. It means a tremendous amount. I'm a 20 year veteran of the Army and deployed 3 times.

Five Finger Death Punch is really out spoken lead singer Ivan is from my hometown Arvada Colorado they are amazing... ❤️

I cannot listen to song without tearing up...its powerful! Especially when I was going through a major break up, idc that ppl give 5fpd hate ,but yet they have helped alot of ppl!

It hurts so much when you know when your heart is going dark and you can't stop it you have to let it go there and hopefully you can get it back

Hey Amanda you inspired me to make a video for mental health and gaming and I signed up for your 5 day happiness course! Hope you have a good day!

PERFECT on the shirt!!!! SO TRUE 👍

Your reaction is so heart-felt. The panic you showed when he pulled his gun and it looked like the guilt would get the best of him shows you feel the music and you take this tyoe of sturggle serious. Thank you. EDIT: I have watched your reaction so many times. I dont struggle from PTSD from war but i do struggle due to time in jail. Amanda you are one of many reasons i have made my mental health better. Again thank you!

Survivors guilt will make you do things you would never do. I know every time I was deployed back over to Afghanistan or Iraq I was constantly taking stupid risks hoping I would be killed. All my friends are gone, my son is gone and I was allowed to live. It's not right. I trained most of those guys and felt like I let them down when they were killed. I hurt everyday and wish I could see them one more time. Especially my son.

Thank you for this reaction. As a veteran who did exactly his job as a “sweeper “ to let the Hum V’s with our troops” advance forward, I was stopped and the “enemy” which we didn’t know, wanted to talk with our translator. Patted 3 down myself, and allowed. A 4’th shot our translator and we got rushed. I was shot through the arm, and continued fighting! Hand to hand! Slashed in the wrist and arm with a machete. I suffer horrible PTSD. Shit you’re never going to forget. Much appreciated

Til we met again in the halls of Valhalla my fallen brothers and sisters, those I served beside and those I did not. Collins, Marieno and Vanwee, the world is definitely not the same without you guys.

I’m old enough to have lost several immediate family members and I know how hard it is. I’m 68. In a 10 year span of time I lost a husband, parents, and brother. Then 6 years later I lost my oldest son to an accidental overdose of Klonipin. That was according to the hospital but my other son and I know better. We saw his journal. Anyway he was 39 years old. That was in 2015. The most important thing I have learned through all of it is there is no time limit to grief. You never just stop grieving. You start healing but break downs can always happen. Surround yourself with loved ones ones or someone you can talk to and it is true that time heals all wounds. However the scars will still be there.

I used to work as a security supervisor in the psych unit of a hospital and I knew I changed many patients lives just by sitting there and talking with and showing them that someone cared about them when they were at their lowest

You got it! I love love love FFDP!!!!

This song always gives me chills

Ty for your videos I was an 88m served 12 years life isnt easy I’ve lost some good friends I’ve been down the road with the struggle thank god I found racing otherwise I really don’t think I’d be here 😔 that’s how I help my mind out run my demons

So not sure if this will be seen but I’m going to reply. So I appreciate you for the reaction video to this song. I relate almost directly to the song and it’s meaning. I served briefly but where it hit home for me was on 19 January 2000 I lost my biological brother to ptsd suicide. We were separated when I was 8 and until his death I had vowed to get back to him. I obviously lost that opportunity. I never really grieved and to this day there are things that still trigger me. I’m not in the military but have chosen to serve as a structure/wildland firefighter. Being a husband and father of 4 the pain I buried comes to the surface now and again but when I watched the video myself it dig deeper then I could ever have imagined. I never got the chance to say goodbye and lost a part of myself on that day. I’m sorry for the lengthy reply but I felt this one and have not been able to focus which only is made worse by other bad news received while on assignment with the fire department. For anyone who’s struggling or having a hard time coping, it’s a real thing and please reach out to a loved one, a councilor, or even contact a hotline because there are people who care and you won’t just hurt yourself but your choices can affect those who love you!

I was never a soldier, but a friend of mine was. When he came back from Afghanistan, he was never the same. He ended his life by driving at 280 km/h into a bridge pillar. That hitted me hard, I still in contact with his sister, from time to time.

This song honestly saved my mental health after my friend committed suicide, it helped me put my feelings into words and feel like what I, her family and her other friends were feeling wasn't abnormal. I still find myself from time to time feeling guilty that I couldn't save her. But songs like this help me process that guilt.

What he had at the end are kill bracelets. Its your friends who have died. Its a living memory that these people died before you. Powerful....

The part when the hummer got blown up reminds me off when my grandfather told me about his experience when he was blown up but he was in a apc back in Vietnam and he was the only one who survived the explosion and it’s because he was on the turret

love this song

my older brother committed suicide last year and god knows i miss him everyday....i wish he was still here ,i'm glad your still here....your beautiful and i enjoy your videos

I'm Gary and I am a combat veteran and have lost a few friends in that way. You aren't just brothers and sisters in arms but we are family. On the battlefield, we are the closest thing to family. So when you lose a family member, it's extremely hard to deal with. As a leader, we have to make split seconds decisions on the run. Sometimes you make a decision, weather right or wrong, may cost someone their life and we have to live with that. I still have a difficult time with this. I really love listening to you Amanda because you speak from experience, not these ones that go to school and become a mental health doctor. Most of them don't have real life experience to truly understand what others are going through. Don't get me wrong, the doctors are great but have a hard time understanding what people are feeling. ❤ you Amanda.

really really love that song

As an Army vet this one hits hard. Ty for reacting to it my fellow vets need the help they don't get from the VA . I would love to hear what you think of I Believe by Diamond Rio. I really think you would like it n it goes along the lines of what you do, dealing with loss just bring tissues. It's the first song I remember hearing many years ago when I lost my Gramma Millie.

I lost my best friend of 30 years to suicide. PTSD demons consumed him, and I am lost. I don't feel like I'll ever be myself again. That being said, YOU are doing a good thing. I feel a certain peace when you break it down. Thank you for what you do.

Thank you. And all the others that are finally acknowledging the impact of mental illness and mental trauma. For decades the mind was totally misunderstood. Now people who haven't had loss in their life are getting a glimpse and better understanding of people who have had loss. I think we have finally started understanding the how, why, and what when it comes to mental health. For me depression is huge. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER. Trust me I have thought long and hard about it. If you feel no life is better than your life, I beg you to talk to someone. Even if you pull over a police officer. Don't be afraid or embarrassed. Your life is worth it. Sometimes our mind tricks us into a world where we are not in sync with the rest of humanities reality. Mine has. And the after effect is confusing and paralyzing. Sadly some people don't make it back from the trick. Our brains are our reality. But hope is on the way. I think. Dr. Mary Frances O'Connor, Neuroscientist, has written a book that fills the gaps between mental health physically and mental health psychologically. THE GRIEVING BRAIN. Surprising Science. How We Learn Love and Loss. I truly believe this could be the first major step in treatment of mental health. Making help for millions come quicker and more precise.

He's going back to make sure no one else dies like his friends. Its the last place he was near them.

I served eight years in the Marines and Desert Storm combat veteran.we fight for the brothers at our side in the end.watching your friends seriously wounded or die in your arms changes you.we come home with the guilt of them not coming home.for many it’s not that we blame ourselves but this.they could have been married and had kids and we don’t.why wasn’t it me that died that they had so much at home. Just to let you know.many vets go back for two reasons.take revenge for the death of their brothers or suicide by combat.its ways to get pass the psychological test to active duty.thank you for your reaction and caring

@MentalAmanda I think you are a very pretty girl and you have a huge heart! Thank you for reacting to these videos for some of veterans! I have been dealing with my own living hell for 20 years and just this past year got some help. This song is scary accurate!! Especially survivors guilt and the lengths he goes! I did the same things!

❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you

I feel it is necessary to say, he went back to his greatest failure, in his mind, to atone for losing them, or failing them

This song/video breaks me every time it is played. Conjures up some deep buried pain I fight daily. This and wrong side of heaven…do me in. 😞

Great reaction. I'm not sure what version I like better. FFDP sounds like it was produced with a better quality, but both deliver great emotions from the vocal tracks.

A soldier never finds peace again. That part of you is torn away.

I’m familiar with the original version, and have already heard this cover, but I didn’t know 5FDP created another video focused on the struggles of soldiers. But something else unexpected immediately caught my attention: the soldier punching his war vehicle. It instantly took me back to when, in high school, some veterans came to talk at one of our classes. I think there were three of them, and I still remember some of the things they said. Most of all, was when one revealed that experience of war- he and others were driven to the point of kicking their tank or jeep they rode in. So that image was totally realistic.

A friend of my parents killed himself a month ago, my parents and he was veterans, he faught in Bosnia with my father and struggled for years. Depression is a hard thing, but there is alot of help around.

Amanda it's been awhile, since I cimed in!! I just got out of a hospital becuz I tried to end it!!! My hope, loss, and life, was to much!! I'm trying to rebuild, it's so hard!! I hope I can do it! Thank you for this channel, and all your followers, I'm trying!!!

Thank You.

I a US Army veteran and now a police officer. Never saw combat but my buddies that did were never the same. I’ve seen a lot of horrible things in my current job and it does take a toll on you. Thankfully I have good support and hobbies that keep me stable and happy. I know everyone isn’t as lucky

My whole family served in the military and I've served multiple terms and going start of by saying my Rank and branch doesn't matter and I'm not a hero and I've watched both of my real blood Brothers die in front of me and and my brother's and sister's in arms and I have ptsd and every day set and say is today the day I eat this bullet as I put the bullet that I have my name wrote on in side the gun and that's a daily basis for me .. even though we not there we never leave from there it's always playing inside our minds just like we still there .. thank you for what you do and again I'm not a hero

I got lucky during my time in Afghanistan. Nobody in my unit was killed, but we did have a few close calls. During a couple of slow days, I volunteered at the base hospital, and helped move patients from the stretchers to the hospital gurneys. I'll never forget seeing a crew using a water hose to rinse the blood out of the cargo hold of their helicopter, then mounting up and taking off like it was nothing. Those guys are beyond mentally tough. I switched my volunteer efforts to the base post office, and became my unit's mailman (when I wasn't busy with my normal work). It feels good to bring care packages to deployed troops. And since the Canadian compound was right next door to where I'd pick up the mail from, I'd also take orders for coffee and bagels from the Tim Horton's that was nearby. It never failed to amuse me how even the toughest NCOs would get all excited about getting a package or bagel.

love them headphones

if you notice, noticed from my vietnam vet father that the knee marks on the grave he knelt by were worn!!!!! he knelt there several, several times!!!!!!

It's not about peace. Especially after situations like this. It's about being the best person we can be after. As a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, I've lost more brothers since the war than during. It's not about about what has happened. It's about what we could find ourselves doing. The atrocities we committed we could never have fathomed. But I will deliver a nugget of hope, the men and women I served with, we still talk to this day. We keep in touch and do our best to watch out for our brothers and sisters. You can't break that bond. And there is no other bond like it. You may not agree with the military, but please understand, we are men. Women. Fathers. Mothers. Sons. Daughters etc. And we all want to come home . Broken or not.

This song is actually a cover of a song originally recorded and released by Neo-Punk band The Offspring back in the '90s. You should also check out the original.

I suffer from survivor’s guilt. I am a 70% Gulf and Iraq War Veteran. I struggle fail with not taking myself from this life. So thank you for bringing a light to us veterans daily life after War!😘

I love this version cause FFDP has the songs true emotions. I think weeser does the orginal but it's about copeing with a death of a loved 1. I lost alot of friends from 2003 to last year. I am not military but have friends and family who are. This songs means alot to me.

I have read two different stories, about why Dexter Holland wrote this song. In the first, Holland had a girlfriend, who passed away in an auto accident. And he wrote it, about her. In the second, Holland and his wife were using the outdoor dining at a Dairy Queen. When very close by, somebody stuck a gun out of their car window, and opened fire. Classic drive-by. ( Thankfully, not at them.) All Holland and his wife could do is dive under the table, and wait for the moment to pass. While neither was hurt, Holland was naturally traumatized. Thinking "What if I had lost her??" Not sure which version is true. If either.

Amazing band!! Can't make a bad song!!!

I can tell you as a law enforcement officer (Sheriff), who has had their partner pass away in the line of duty... Survivor's guilt is a real thing. It's horrible. Her funer.al procession was almost 10 miles long. Every department within 50 miles sent cars to show support. It was beautiful, but tragic. Fire departments parked trucks, and hung flags on every overpass along the route. Cars pulled to the side to show respect. And as her partner, it was crushing. There were about 100 cars in the procession. Tragic beauty.

Now I was understanding! You are able to take this weights to your mesmerising ghost (btw horrible to see), because you have your tools to beeing fine with it... Wow, just... im crying if you go to, but have no tool! But I simply love your videos, so pls stay on Amanda and greetings from Hannover!

I love your room

My grandfather on my mother's side was a Vietnam war veteran. He died in the hospital. Cancer took him from me. I was there minutes before he passed. I want everyone to know that I'm in tears writing this, because I can't let go of family members that I lost. But at the same time, the void it leaves is so large, and I wanted to end it all, so many times. I've coped as much as I can, and so far, it's working out. Remember: Wounds heal. Scars don't. And I've lost a lot of family over the years. So coping with this was and still is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thankfully, my family that remain help me so much with this. Shoulders to cry on, something to take out my frustration(I don't hit my family, even if it could work out for me. I see it as vile and wrong.), they've kept me from ending it all. It's been a long and hard road, but I'm able to live my life without fear of those thoughts resurfacing. I owe them so much.

I spent 30 years serving this country starting with Operation desert Storm the in Bosnia Somalia and six tours during Iraqi and enduring freedom 3 in Afghanistan three in Iraq and I've buried 53 friends of mine for paying the ultimate price defending this country I memorialize them all in a tattoo that sleeves my entire right arm so I will always remember them everyday of my life is a fight not to go join them other than my life I had nothing to lose I sat on the plane waiting on the other soldiers to be welcomed home by their family members so I could slip into the crowd and disappear since I knew there was nobody there at all to ever welcome me home and I fight every day of my life with those memories and the things we had to do to protect each other and come home and we came home to a government that could care less if we ever came home at all the people of this country were grateful to us but the politicians aren't every time there's a war the politicians make a profit and so do the weapons manufacturers off the blood of patriots

I listen to this song probably more than it’s good for my health. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the men we lost

Thank you! I will share, please share a story that maybe apply.☺️ God I’d a big part of my life, it’s just so hard to feel his warmth right now. All I want is a nice big warm bear hug of safety 🙏

I served from 88-94, and was working in a nice safe job when 9/11 happened. Like most of the country, i watched the towers fall on live television. The next day i went to reenlist, but was declined due to medical reasons. Between the already present PTSD and depression i had, having the rug pulled out from under me to help was almost too much. I lived with a gun in my mouth for over a month. The only thing that saved my life was medication.

This video always leaves me absolutely gutted.

Even though this bands video does such a fantastic job of bringing some of the reality of war to those who have never experienced that or anything even close.I do agree that the level of reality shown is to much for most to comprehend and that's perfectly fine .Those unfamiliar with the experience of war need only what this video provides.The full reality of war could never be displayed in any video simply because without actually being there, that would be impossible . Anything more would be traumatic to say the least,along with the ever lasting he'll you can't unthink enough to have every day there forward remember ,not experience, just remember from seeing such a video that your life will never be the same and that happy go lucky glide through each day has been replaced with anger,disgust,regret,and guilt just to name a few feelings from now knowing the evils that men do. Bless you all,we are all human on this rock,we're here to stay,war is not the answer but if there's to be peace,war made it possible. As messed up as that sounds,that's the world we're all stuck in.

In the video he was walking point he missed the IED trigger. That's the hardest part he made a mistake that he can never forgive himself for.

FFDP, is a great band. It’s odd how childhood traumas, make you incredibly sensitive to simple things, yet somehow equally empowering by heavy music. I guess we tell stories here, so my first trauma, was seeing a veteran murdered in front of me at 11-12. Seeing as my Dad was CO of a Naval Airbase, then retired running his own co. + his mechanics were bringing me to and from my Tufts dental Appt. I’ll spare the story, they just took there frust over a ticket out on a vet they picked up as well. It took me 3-4 years to even talk about it, and I’m 56 now, so in 79-82, no one was believing me. My Dad least of all as Marine Fighter pilot w/ a masters in flight engineering, poster boy for the Corp, front of an ACC, holding the prop of an F4U Corsair AT 21, heading to the Pacific to fight Japan. It never mattered a few years later he died while I was in BOOT CAMP. It wasn’t till 30+ i dealt with his death, USMCR, life, drinking, self hatred, insecurity causing me to over excel at everything, being an Officer, but never truly wanting this path. No one understands how profound the Marine Corp’s structure , hierarchy, etc., offerers everything but what to do, outside your uniform. Knowing your mind functions differently than others, may be an asset early in life, but it becomes a burden when our friends age. I’m blessed with great friends, for that I’m grateful. Tectal Plate brain tumor, is spin on wheel of how am I gonna feel think today, it’s difficult. Peace, 1, always on your 6.

I didn't realize five finger did a cover of this song til I saw this vid. If you haven't pls check out the offspring,their music not only inspired me to become a musician but saved my life more than once

When I woke up in Walter Reed hospital I was broken because I lived knowing my men did not. I still don’t sleep and I can’t be around people. My wounds are still there and I believe I deserve them.

USMC 0352 ‘86 - ‘90. Thanks to all my brothers and sisters, who made the ultimate sacrifice to protect our nation. Everyone needs to reach out and have the government spend a lot more money on veterans coming home. An average of 23 veterans a day take their life due to the lack of funding, or caring from our government.