I cannot imagine the pain of divorce plus losing two dogs…wow. heartbreaking in all ways. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, yet I am so glad you’ve shared.

As JRR Tolkien once said “I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” Hang in there Jo. You have so many people who love and support you. 💜

When you said “I know I can get through it, but I don’t want to” “I’m tired of being strong”. I felt that to the core. I have said that so so many times in my life. The thing about going through so many challenges is that each one feels harder than before, and it’s like your tolerance for adversity gets ground down the more you go through it. Lean into your support system and the things that make you happy. Feel good!

Womens shelter for 2 months, homeless, awful divorce, protective order, and then a year later my cat dies from kidney cancer...it was hell. I am glad you safe and have a network of support!!

“I know I have the capacity to get through this, I just don’t want to.” I feel this in my core. I’ve felt this before and no one has ever understood. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worst enemy. Thank you for your honesty, it reminds me and others that we’re not alone and neither are you.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time right now. Life really isn't fair and it's totally okay to grieve and let yourself feel sadness sometimes. Take all the time you need to heal, but just know you still have a huge community of people that you've impacted and we'll always be here for you through tough times

I know this video it’s almost a year old. But, it genuinely made me cry. Jo seems like a very very good person who doesn’t deserved to go through all that pain. 😢

I am a caregiver to my husband who has a terminal illness. I also struggle with depression. I get it when you say you are tired of being strong. Me too. I am tired of being the cheerleader, keeping a happy face when I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I do it because I love my husband and I do it because I want to. But it is hard. So- I get it, but keep on keeping on!

When I got shot and was half-dead in the hospital, my expectations for surviving were down to zero. I thought I was going to die, until I met another kid about my age named Jim, who had brain cancer. I'm on the Autism Spectrum and I ain't got that many friends. Jim said that I had a unique mind and I always saw the bigger picture. Whatever that means. If I'd have known that this would be the last time Jim and me was gonna talk, I'd of thought of something better to say, "Weather looks nice, don't it?" And he said, "Yeah it does. I wish I could enjoy it just one last time. Trey, why does cancer have to exist?" Then he said something to me that I ain't never going to forget, "I just wanna go home and die there." Jim said he wanted to be an astronaut commander and go to the moon someday, but instead, he died right there in the hospital. I only knew him about a week, but he was one of my best good friends. And even I know that ain't something you can just find around the corner. I don't talk about Jim very often, but I sure do think about him a lot. I think I survived because he kept my mind active.

Please recognize that we need NO explanation. You are so hurt right now, and you deserve to feel loved so please know whenever you need a virtual hug, even if we aren’t there for you physically, we all keep you in our hearts and hope you know we love you.

Is there anything we can do for YOU? My wife and I are 70 and haven’t been through anything close to what you have gone through, but we understand you are a very good person who has gone through more than anyone we know. Maybe getting Sophie a new buddy would help you both. It sounds like you are having a perfectly reasonable reaction. Losing your loved ones was enough to fracture most people, and you seem to be holding together, hopefully to bridge this time of your life. I wouldn’t normally tell a “stranger” that I love them, but I love you and hope all the other “remote lovers” help you get to an even keel and can once again be experience the good things coming your way. Like we tell our three daughters, you are a force for good in an often crappy world. Our “fourth” daughter is our former Ukrainian exchange student who is living in Kiev (!). We can’t know what she is experiencing either, but support her as much as we can. We would be happy to welcome you as “daughter #5” ! Take care.

You’ve had a lot of loss in a very short period of time, so it feels like the waves keep on crashing against you and you’re battered and exhausted. It’s okay if you need to take a break from working and focus on getting yourself to a healthier place mentally and emotionally. ❤

Divorce is hard, going through it currently and it’s really freaking brutal. Stick in there Jo. You’ve got this.

"I'm so tired of being strong". Wow. This video could not have come at a better time for me. You so powerful expressed everything I've been feeling but haven't been able to verbalize. For the last year I've been going to doctors multiple times a week, changing my diet drastically, going to the gym and trying to live every micro aspect of my life perfectly so I can get ahead of my severe skin problems. All that effort was dashed in less than a week when my skin flared up and I became sicker and sadder than I've been in a LONG time. I can't sleep anymore. Everything is painful. I'm drowning and for the first time in YEARS, I had suicidal thoughts. And they seemed so nice. This video was profoundly timed and powerfully impactful. Thank you for sharing your hardship-- I'm so sorry you've gone through this. Hopefully it's some comfort to know that you are positively changing lives with your videos

“It’s okay to not be okay.” Sometimes you just aren’t. That’s okay.

This was tough to watch. Don't like seeing good people go through it like this. I'm so unbelievably heart broken and sorry about the loss of your beautiful babies. Not to mention the breakup. Unfortunately for most of us this kind of pain is all too relatable, but you sharing with us let's us all know we're not alone, and neither are you. ❤

Years ago I went through a period of devastation: a move across the country from my family, followed by prolonged unemployment, depression, cancer diagnosis and treatment, and the revelation of a genetic mutation that led me to have more body parts removed prophylactically. It was A LOT. I don't have any words of wisdom at all. Just a survivor here who appreciates you, your boldness, your authenticity. And a dog lover who knows just how gutted you must be.

The part of this that hit me the hardest was when you said "I know I can get through this, but I'm tired of going through hard things." I know exactly how that feels, Jo. I'm so incredibly sorry that you've had to go through all of this, let alone all at once. No one deserves this kind of pain. The fact that you're strong enough to even sit here and make a video and talk about it to strangers online is an inspiration. We'll all be here for you, Jo, and I'm really glad that you have friends and loved ones who are there for you, as well. From one broken person to another, I hear you. I understand you.

Losing a pet is so, SO hard and you are dealing with losing two plus divorce and aagh… I hear you on wanting to act like a teenager. It made me want to take my old car and speed on Pacific Coast Highway with the music blasting… 7 years ago, I was laid off from a 21-year job, and two days later, the Best Dog Ever died of a (known) heart condition. Devastating. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing this.

Sharing your struggle is helping me through mine

I'm the primary caregiver for my 91 year old grandmother who has dementia and just found out last week that my mum has pancreatic cancer and has been told she has 3-6 months to live, along with a myriad of legal and financial issues going along with it all, and I am sick of hearing "be strong." I know it's intended to be supportive, but it has the opposite effect. This is a time of grief and pain and fear and we should be allowed to feel these emotions and express them, it is not weakness. Do what you have to do Joe, take time off youtube, surround yourself with people who are good for you, and be kind to yourself ❤️

In 2019 I lost the man who raised me, my grandfather. 5 weeks early I was dumped by the only woman I ever loved. Two weeks after, my family betrayed me and my mother, abandon us because of money... All I can say to you is that it gets easier. You don't need to be strong right now. Strength will come for you, and one day you will look back and feel proud of you. Lots of love from Brazil (Sorry for bad English)

I began watching your posts a few weeks ago. I am researching my options for living with an above the knee amputation. My life had always been extremely active, snowskiing, water-skiing, rollerblading, motorcycling, sailing, flyfishing and hiking. My accident that is causing my amputation was the result of an accident from 50 years ago. My 4 children are trying to understand my emotions and my mental condition. Several times in my life I had reached 'the end of my rope.' I am writing to tell you that your videos have helped me deal with my current situation. Love to you.

Hey sweetheart, I lost my mom just before my birthday 3 years ago, and her dachshund passed away two years ago and I am a wreck. I am not well either. But I have been watching your videos and they have a positive effect on me. Thank you for your help. You will never be able to realize how much you have helped me. Thank you sweetheart you are my angel here on earth.

I fear to imagine what you are going through now... we are with you. We will never replace your babies, but - we are here...

Joe as a child of divorce I am a minute or so in and I understand, You don't need to explain yourself, Please take your time coming back and if you need to take more time off please do so Divorce is not an easy thing it doesn't matter to me what it is I just hope you are okay and it does get better 😢

As a fellow dog mom, I'm sending you all the love and healing vibes I can.

A long time ago, I had to put down my 100# yellow lab as I was coming to a decision that I had to pull the plug on a marriage that wasn’t healthy for us or our kids. As if the human stuff wasn’t bad enough, that dog had been my comfort and diversion for quite some time; in fact losing the support I drew from him was rather a final straw in the domestic decision making. The next 5-6 months were just awful all day every day, except for the odd moment when work or my kids would claim my conscious mind in the moment. But you know what? I came out the other side. Didn’t always feel like I would, but at a different level I knew I would, and I did, by faith and friends and grace. You will too. About 22 years before that, I had come through the biggest earthquake of my life, in which I learned about being powerless over so much, and how my efforts to control so much inside me and around me were destroying me. I was taught then, by others who had been in the same boat, how to let go and let life carry me where I was supposed to go, instead of fighting to make it bend to my will. Saddened to see you, or anyone, come into their own dark night of their soul. But glad to have stumbled on your socials, because you reminded me before seeing this piece that none of us escapes tragedies but we don’t suffer them alone. Sooooo…. I wrote this out to remind you that you do not suffer alone, and to thank you for being so candid about your current situation, and for sharing your great insights about it.

"everyone is going through shit, deal with it" Damn doesn't that suck? Why do our brains tell us that? It's not helpful. I'm glad you have support. That's something I have to struggle for.

It's ok to not be strong, it's ok to fall apart, it's ok to feel however you feel right now, it's ok to not know what to do or where to go from here. Just breathe and let yourself heal however you need to. We will always be here, there's no rush to create any new videos if you don't feel up to it, we completely understand and we will be here whenever you decide to come back. Sending virtual hugs and wishes for comfort and healing in this extraordinarily difficult time

God, just came across your channel. There's something really profound about hearing about your life and the strength you show in how charismatic, eloquent and measured you are in your delivery. It's hard not to be taken aback by that power you show despite the temptation to just fall apart. Heroic.

Life gets better after 40. Less drama, more fun. Finding a lifelong companion is hard, take your time. We have a regular hiking trail where we named special trees and rocks after our past pets, and we say hi to them every time we cross paths.

I went to a pet loss support group lead by my local hospice when one of my dog's died. I didn't expect much out of it at first but ultimately I was and still am glad I went. I'm quite a bit older than you and have lost numerous pets over my lifetime. I loved them all, they were as close to having children as I'll ever get. There were a few special ones though that decades later I still feel an ache in my heart when I think about them. Honestly, I was closer to my dogs Grimaldi and Oliver than I probably have been with any person (and I've been married twice). When Grimaldi had to be put down I left my car at the vet and walked 5 miles back to my house. I couldn't imagine driving, I couldn't imagine anything so I just walked and cried. Oliver was the dog that saw me through my trauma, through my cancer though. He was such a chill boy but the week I was in the hospital after surgery he was frantic, somehow he knew something was wrong. When I got home I was confined to bed for 6 weeks and he laid by my side the entire time. Finally I was allowed an hour a day to be wheeled around in a wheelchair and my wife took me to a park down the street for a bit to feel the sunshine. When we got home Oliver had dug a hole all the way through the first layer of drywall by the door to try and get to me. He'd never been destructive before but he knew I was badly injured, I was broken and I needed him to protect me. When I finally healed up, at least as much as I was going to, he went back to his normal self - just the chill little happy guy he had always been. I had him another 7 years until he passed at 14. Surgery... cancer did break me though, sometimes that which doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger. After a few months they look the tubes out of my leg and the hole where the skin graft failed finally closed up. I was healed... at least on the outside. I had a few "good" months before the chronic pain set in - my body's rejection and hatred towards it's new configuration. 10 years later and things just seem to be getting worse. University specialists using words like "perplexed" and "unsure". I don't frequent chronic pain sites online very often but every once in a while come across a person who is struggling and they ask what's the point? Why go on when it seems like all there is, is suffering. Because let's be real, sometimes that's all there is. Sometimes all the rainbows and puppy kisses in the world just aren't enough. It's a question I've stared down far too many times. For me the answer is this... I'm stubborn. I doesn't get to win. Fuck cancer, fuck surgery and fuck chronic pain. This is MY life and as shitty as it may seem, as painful as it is, it's still mine. I hate cancer, I hate surgery and I hate pain so I'll be damned if I let them beat me. They don't get to win. I realize this is way too long and way too much of an overshare. My point is that I can relate to all the things. It's terrible. And sometimes all the loving, supportive, positive words just don't cut it (not that they aren't appreciated). Sometimes you just have to accept things are terrible and will be for a long time - some things maybe even forever. And no words will ever fix that. That's when you push through on spite. You keep moving, you keep breathing, you keep living just because you can. And things change, sometimes for the good, sometimes for bad but they will change. And during times when it seems all hope is lost, that stubbornness can keep you going as long as you want. Don't let it win. Just because.

I'm 41, still trying to figure my life out, and not convinced most anyone else has done it either. Sending virtual hugs and a reminder that can never be said enough: it's okay to not be okay.

I am so in awe of you. This video is so raw and yet you’re very cognizant and aware. Even if you don’t feel it, you seem very well put together. I’m cheering you on from the other side of the screen. As much as it’s cliche, I still feel the need to say I’m sorry to hear about everything going on. Any one of those things would be life altering but all together, I wouldn’t want to imagine how it must feel. Just know you are loved and valued. Your sweet doggos may have crossed the rainbow bridge, but they will always be there to help comfort you. Be well and take care.

From a kindred spirit (I've been in chronic pain for 40 years) - March on little soldier. I'm sending hope and prayers your way. When you least expect it, the clouds will pass and you'll be equipped with new purpose.

Hi Jo. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this all at once. I know you know (because you said so), but just sending another reminder that we are here for you and we love you. I know I'll be watching your content regardless of if you're smiling or not. Your videos have often inspired me and helped me through difficult times. I'll also still be sticking around if you need more of a break! 💚

Be angry, throw fits, scream, break shit. it's okay to not be strong. Just don't hurt yourself. In no world would the future Jo look back and be sorry you didn't take your life. Have a day, Jo, probably not a great day, or a even a good day, just a day. Live one more day, and one more day after that.

"I'm so tired, on a core level, of hard things." I'm just catching up with this news now (after watching your episode with the new ankle joint today, which looks great). I can't feel your pain, but I can recognise the feeling you describe. I am glad to see the other episodes posted between these two I watched today, and I look forward to catching up with them, and then to keeping up. Much respect for the way you found to post this.

My wife is 82 and an above the knee amputee of 2 years. We have been following u about that long. Thank u for sharing your life. I am 78. Because we love greatly we also suffer loss greatly. “The more we live, the more we love.” The more we suffer loss. Just know we are with u in pain and as u regain balance. John & Norma.

I am in my 70s now, and have been through the deaths of 4 pet cats. The pain and distress are intense, and I was also embarrassed to find myself bursting into sobs at random moments in front of other people, and even at work. You have all my sympathy. Your grief is what it is, and will last however long it lasts. Your grief comes from your love; there is no shame in it.

"I don't want to", such a profound statement that encapsulates everything I and so many people have felt faced with such hardship. It is depression at it's core and the one thing that is so hard to explain. "I know that I can but I don't want to" - I feel you, I hear you - the words cut down to my soul. I have been there. Don't give up. It's ok that you don't want to!!! I will end with the buddist saying that always comforts me when it is the darkest "This too shall pass". The "I don't want to" - it will eventually pass, just hang in there! Sending love and warm thoughts from Scandinavia .

I'm so sorry for your loss, losing an animal that's been there for you during your hard times is always tough. I lost both my mom and grandma in March two days apart and my life has been flipped over. So you're not alone in this and hope you feel better and heal in your own time.

Jo you have been through so many traumatic issues your whole life. Yet everything you've gone through has made you a much stronger person. You may not realize it but you are coping by just making this video. The surgeries, divorce, loss of your dogs. Most people wouldnt handle it as well as you. I feel for you and all of your struggles. Some people are so fortunate to never have gone through so much trauma. For them life comes easy. So they will never understand. May god bless you.

Oh, Jo. My heart is breaking for you. To echo your own words back at you, I love you and am thinking about you. Stay safe.

"So tired of being strong". Thank you for encapsulating how I am also feeling in that phrase. Wishing you the strength to persevere and the ability to choose when to stay tired and when to be energetic. You're allowed to feel tired, don't need to fight it. Recognizing it is a feat unto itself. All the best!

It’s hard to see such a Bouncy,Alive, Chick,Down and out! Truly I hope things have become more solider!

Jo, I only recently discovered your channel. I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I'm disabled since birth. I'm 42 years old and have been working actively with myself for my whole adult life. Still I feel that you've taught me a lot. I'm so very grateful for your openness and the way that you willingly share both the moments of light and darkness with us. Complete strangers on the Internet. I've gone through something similar to what you're in right now, and I will not tell you that everything is going to be OK because honestly, you never know that. But I can promise you that there will come a day when you will feel better. Please take care. I and many others care for you, genuinely.

My condolences on losing your dear Sully and Sadie. With everything else it just seems so unfair for this to happen.

So heartbreaking to hear what's going on... just a volley of traumatic events that are so awful to deal with individually, but having to deal with so much so soon would beat anyone down. A lot of what you've said I empathize with, I hear you. I know you "logically" know what to do and coping mechanisms and all that, but damn it's tough. I know you already mentioned this in the video, but for me, I need someone around even if I don't want to be with them. Like I want to be alone, but not by myself...know what I'm saying? Even though you've gone to some friends houses and called for help, I hope you can just have a trusted someone that can just be THERE. with you. You've heard all the platitudes of comfort before, but I hope you keep hanging in there.

"I know I will get through this, but I don't know how to want to". You found words to describe it. Now it has a name it can be known, and maybe even tamed. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for naming this thing that I have felt (am feeling) and probably will feel again.

I’ve lost everything too. Although different, very similar. I’m sending you a ton of love, thank you for being the rockstar that you are! 💜

"Sad and confused" seems like what every single person would feel in your shoes. I completely understand the depths of Depression and not wanting to get better. Praying for you. Thanks so much for sharing so deeply.

I am sitting here crying my eyes out! I had a Below knee amputation in February and discovered your videos by chance. I binge watched them all - you have been such an inspiration! I wish I could take your pain away. I lost my pitbul Bruno three years ago and still. I cry over him every day. Every day! It is OK not to be ok. Sending you lots of LOVE and LIGHT. Thank you for guiding and helping me through my amputation.

Aww Jo, I’m so sorry you’re having such a rubbish time of it just now. I’m sitting in bed watching this and am so amazed by your candour and how honest you are. I have not actually before come across someone else explain the distinction between being able to function and cope and simply not wanting to; it’s something I’ve felt before and just thought that nobody else would ever get it because people don’t talk about that. So thank you for saying that.

That took a lot of courage to do. Enough said. Keep going. Hope to see you soon in the next video.

Jo, I’m 55 and want to share that the idea that we reach an age when we have our shit together is kind of a myth. As another woman who chose not to have children and chose to end my marriage the thing that helped was recognizing my self efficacy. Loosing the dogs in the way you did was such a blow on that, I can’t imagine. So proud of you for going back to the basics of self care. It is a great example for all of us. Thank you for sharing your journey. We all need to remember that when bad things happen the path through grief is real and unavoidable but it is a path.

Your honesty and transparency (and generally likeable personality) is the reason I follow you. I have so much respect for you maintaining those qualities throughout so many hardships. I’m confident your community here will continue to support and encourage you, as you deserve for all you give.

I admire your ability to cope as well as you have. I've been an AK amputee for over 50 years and I understand some of what you've been going through. Hang in there.

I had a bilateral below the knee 2 years ago and today I came across your channel. I can't imagine what You're going through.Thank you for sharing . You're strong and you will get through this. Alot of good is comming you're way.

I've currently started on a book called "Constructive Wallowing". I've only just got started but so far the point is that sometimes, maybe even often, you just have to let yourself sit in the painful, hard emotions and feelings. Trying to put on a brave face or a positive attitude is often more damaging and self-destructive. When my young cousin died in a drowning accident I let my grief run its course. It took three years to come to a place of "moving on" for lack of a better term. I unashamedly let my grief take its time and as long as I was eating and remembering to take a shower sometimes I felt justified in being a little bit selfish and taking my time rolling through the ugliness of loss and despair. "I don't want to" is totally valid and you don't have to override that for anyone. Many people won't understand it. But plenty of people do understand it. You're not alone in the darkness but you don't have to switch on the flood lights if that's not the best thing for you right now. I hope you find your way back to yourself. The struggle is finding your way back to yourself not back to your tribe or family or community. How to do that, I confess I don't know. Sometimes it just happens. Other times we have to struggle our way through jungle and fog and alligator infested swamp before we see a glimmer of the self that wants to live again.

We love you Jo, know it’s ok to take time off and when you come back, all your subscribers will be right here where you left us❤️ Lots Of Love From South Africa 🇿🇦

Jo....I just stumbled onto your channel. I have dealt with depression for quite a while and am on medication. Please know you are not alone and are loved. Life sometimes isn't easy but it will get better! Stay strong and rely on your friends and relatives! I hope how soon things turn around for you...

Good grief Jo, I have no words.... That's a lot of trauma in a short span of time.... Im glad you said you're looking after yourself, I hope that continues because you are a beautiful spark of a woman..... I hope Sadie has sent, or will send, you a wee sign that she's watching over you 💛

I haven't heard anyone on the internet reflect my thoughts so well regarding "I know how to, but I don't want to", this is how I have been feeling for years and years. Love you lots ❤️

I’ve never heard someone else express that feeling before . Of knowing that you can get through something because you’ve done it so many times but you just feel done. I’m so so sorry that you feel that way.. it is such a unique hopelessness… I’m not sure what to say other than I hope you get to the point where you want to try again and, of course, you are not alone

Prayers for you. Some say take it one day at a time. When I’ve been in the depths, I took it one second at a time. Let yourself feel it all and survive it however you can. Like you said: you can do this. You WILL do this!

I just finished binge watching all your shorts. You're incredible, even on the worst days, and it's inspiring. Not saying you're positive on those days, or brave, or cheerful, or optimistic. I'm saying you're INCREDIBLE. Because you're being open about it and still pushing through. Just know it changes people's lives.

“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.”

Jo, my dear. I'm so sorry. A divorce and the loss of two sweet doggies all at once is more than anyone should ever have to bear all at once, especially someone as beautiful (inside and out) as you. You've brought so much love and light to so many people, and I hope we can return the favor, even if it's only a little. Sending so much love. 💛💛💛

This was surprising. Can't even imagine how much of a shock this was for you, everything piling on like that. Hang in there, do what you need to do to get through it. Wish I had something more profound, but I'm just me. So, take care of yourself.

your amazing! I don't have time to finish this video yet. but my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine. I'm very sorry your going through this.

Crushing. Words cannot express my sympathy for your situation.

Oh, I can’t even imagine where your heart and head are at right now. Losing your heart dog is a level of pain so many people don’t understand. I lost mine 3 days before I made a life changing move and it broke me. As for the puppy, I’m so so sorry. ❤️ I went though a traumatizing divorce many years ago and I still struggle with those emotions from time to time. I’m so proud of you for recognizing your emotions and feelings, that’s never easy. ❤️ Take your time.

Thank you for being real. It so helpful to those of us that are going through, or have gone through deep grief and transition. It's a big deal. This video was a gift.

I just basically "discovered" your stream purely by accident only a few days ago and you have captured my heart. As I have said earlier, I, too, am a recent right leg BTK amputee and much of what you have gone through, so have I (including having also fallen directly on my residual limb within the first week of my initial surgery - which required two extra follow-up surgeries to correct). That being said, you seem to have encountered quite a few more entirely unrelated traumatic experiences in your relatively short life than I have and I am truly amazed at your courage and strength of character. I feel at least SOME of your pain and have a semblance of an idea of the tremendous burden you are under; being torn from a relationship, losing not one but TWO cherished doggies, moving to an entirely new city and trying to be upbeat for your fans. I could go on and on - and I will continue to drop you comments from time to time - but know that you are now a part of my thoughts and prayers and I truly wish you every success in your channel and your life. You certainly deserve it. Carry on vlogging!

You don't owe anyone, online or otherwise, apologies or forced happiness. Your healing through all this is more important, Jo, and we will be here to support you.

As someone who has had a marriage fall apart and lost fur family members, I cannot begin to imagine both of those things happening at once. I was devastated by both. During my divorce, my mum took me to the recycling centre with a load of old jars etc. Dropping them into the recycling boxes and hearing them smash was incredibly therapeutic and harmed nobody. Sometimes it's okay to feel like breaking stuff.

I know this was a year ago, but I am so sorry you've had to go through this. I know the dark place all that loss and change takes you to. I too have had a lot of loss and change in my life and lived in that dark place for about a year. Twenty years on, I still have bad days and I get tired of always being expected to be strong. The pillar who supports everyone else. Some days I'm so angry to be here in this mess with not as much support as I feel I deserve. Fortunately, the next day the sun comes up and I am in a better place. All I can say is I hope things have gotten better for you. More "even." And the days you feel you can't catch your breathe are few. I enjoy your videos so much and they help me cope with my amputation struggles. Be well and know so many of us wish the best for you.

Jo, I have where you are at and I am there again. Very touching video. Thank you for being honest.

Your welfare is your top priority. Anyone who gets upset with you for doing what you need isn't worth your time, nor do they deserve your wonderful content. I hope things start getting a lot better for you. Like so many others here, I'm happy to do whatever I can to help you. Being patient is about the simplest thing. Take all the time you need.

You're handling things a lot better than I would have

Just came across your video. Then sat & bawled like a baby on hearing about your dogs. On top of divorce, a new place & your poor lost doggie that is as lost & confused as you are right now… just wow. How do you hold it together? You don’t.. you’re allowed to throw your hands in the air & say ‘fuck it’ sometimes & this is the time. I don’t know you, but your honesty is amazing & never ever fake shit for anyone. Take care of yourself.. give yourself all the time u need xx massive love from the UK.

I can't believe I'm seeing this so late. I'm deeply sorry about everything. My parents have been divorced for my entire life, and it's been kinda rough. My dog, Petey died last February. I miss him everyday, but he was really sick. I've been dealing with mental health stuff, and I totally feel you. We're all here for you, and thank you so much for sharing with us. You got this, and I hope life is getting better.

What a tragedy. I can't imagine.

“I am so tired. I am so tired of being strong.” I relate to this so much, it’s a terrifying feeling and I hope it doesn’t last long. We’re here for you, I’m so sorry that your life has been so difficult lately

Grief is so soul crushing, and you have been recently crushed multiple times Jo. So impressed at how self aware and open you are to talk here. Grief cannot be sped up, or short circuited. One day at a time with friends and guides. Love, Ralph

Sometimes just existing is hard and exhausting and painful. I’m sorry you have been in that place. Thank you for your courage to speak so openly about where you are. I couldn’t help but relate to that ‘very, very unwell’ state. I was there last Fall after several losses that culminated in the loss of my dad. I didn’t realize until watching this video that I’m coming out the other side of that. Listening to you, All I wanted was to hug you and encourage you. I’m a dog mom, and deal with disability and chronic pain from an injury (in fact, my 3rd back surgery is scheduled for next week). My dogs are a huge part of my coping skills. They listen, love me, distract me, force me to take care of them, and never leave my side. Ever. I can’t imagine losing them so close together. Sending love, support, healing thoughts, and much respect. ❤️

i really appreciate your honesty because on KZfaq and social media in general it’s not very common for people to admit they’re genuinely not okay. hope you’ll find your reason to keep going❤️

So glad to see you around again Jo. Please know how loved and appreciated you are ♥️

I love how you say I'm tired but still have that heavy strength in you to say this words. thank you. we will be here

I’m so sorry for your losses 💔 thank you for sharing. I’ve been in a dark place lately and I know the feeling of one thing after another going wrong. Feeling like the world is against you. Prayers to you 🙏

We have a few things in common. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my Wife’s of 42 years death. Along the way through this year I lost two of my dogs. I still have two dogs. And the need to get up and feed them has really kept me moving. It’s awful to live in this house with nothing but memories. My wife set down her water tumbler on the counter in the bathroom, and I still haven’t found the courage to pick it up. I know I believe good times will back one day. I do have a few more options, maybe someday I’ll try one of them. If I can get through tomorrow and pick up that water tumbler. I’m sure I can finish my life strong. I’ve been praying for you through these days, and I will still pray for you and think of you often. You’re like my granddaughter. Good days are coming.

take care of yourself, on my own at 60 after a long marriage, yes I have a nice gf now, but I have learned to enjoy being at my condo alone, sending hugs and compassion, I lost my poodle at 13 last year, it is a devastating, I know, your KZfaq family is here for you.

Bless you for sharing. Life is overwelming sometimes. Sometimes the place you start on is the muddiest part of the path or the rockiest, and then you cross through it and look back, thinking wow I found my way through. Then find your smile again.❤

I read somewhere years ago that on the list of "Life's Most Stressful Events," moving is number ONE! It actually comes before death and divorce and deals with more than just packing and transferring things from one place to another and lasts longer than the actual move. Unfortunately, you have had numbers 1, 2 and 3 happen to you in a very short time. It's amazing that you can even put a sentence together, let alone a coherent one and speak with such maturity. I don't know what your therapist would advise, but I would suggest doing whatever you feel like that won't injure yourself or damage anything. Pull weeds, punch a pillow, scream in your car, cry yourself dry and most of all complain to God. Whether you are a believer or not, now is a good time to start. It is not about a religion but rather a relationship, and He can take whatever you dish out! It's been a long time since I read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" but it is a good read. My heart goes out to you, and I am a praying person, so I will lift you in my morning prayers and ask God to help you through this difficult time and provide you with His "peace that surpasses understanding in the midst of this storm.

Sh*t. F*ck! That is a lot of stuff! I’m twice as old as you, and here’s something I have learned. Being adult doesn’t mean you have achieved fecal conglomeration. It just means that you wash off when you successfully get through the crap. I watch you because you heroically honest and open. You are strong. Strong can be cyclic, so once in a while we sag, weaken, cope . . . and persevere. This video already has almost 1000 comments. You are never alone, even in that quieter home. Love you.

My husband and I just lost our “soul dog” a week ago. It’s devastating and traumatizing to lose a furbaby in unexpected and sometimes violent endings even after you, your vet and their amazing staff try to save her. She died from an unusual and rare autoimmune disease that makes their red blood cells attack the white blood cells. She needed a transfusion and splenectomy which we did a week prior. It still wasn’t enough and she started seizing. We’re NOT doing okay either. I’m not okay. I feel completely empty. When I was 35 I had to have a complete and total hysterectomy and oophorectomy ending any chances of EVER having a child. We were lost in a sea of sadness at that point and one day while out on a drive here in Montana with my mother-in-law she told us about these British Labrador puppies that were up for adoption at a medical physician’s house that she worked at the hospital with. We stopped by on the off chance we could just play with puppies and this little bundle of fur and a happy tongue and adorable smile fan over to us and sat at our feet while the dame and sire raced all over the yard with the rest of the litter. The little ball of fur just sat at our feet watching us and we fell in love. It wasn’t until later that we both looked back and realized how sad and lost we were and how our furbaby saved us. She became a certified emotional support animal. She traveled the Country with us as well as epic drive from Montana to Alaska and back. Now she’s gone. We feel adrift and very very sad. Yesterday was my birthday and I was able to donate items to a local donation center to help others, I was doing okay but when I got home a call came from our vet clinic to tell us our “soul doggy” was ready to come home from the crematorium. I didn’t cope well and sobbed so hard I have a sore throat today and very swollen face. It was traumatic all over again. So I understand what you’re going through and wish I knew you as a friend so I could hug you. Sending you so much love and positive vibes from Montana. Remember it’s okay to NOT be okay. You don’t have to be strong and it sounds like you have a lot of family and friends that will help you during this extremely difficult time. ✨💖✨

I feel your grief for your lost companions. I lost my cat Annabelle 6 months ago and I still grieve when I see her picture or talk about her. She was my life and my reason to stay healthy. I am 68 and I often wondered what would happen if I died before she did. You have demonstrated a power and a will that very few young people i feel are capable of.

I've gone thru three painful divorces and have suffered from depression for 40 years so I can totally empathize. I know this is late to the original posting but I just saw it. I feel the pain about losing dogs as well. I had one that would have a grand mal seizures. Pain and loss have been my life. Thank you for being brave enough to share!!!